Dear Evan Hansen Characters as Random Shit I've Said
- Evan Hansen: Excuse me, I'm gonna go cry-
- Connor Murphy: You know what, why don't I just drop out??? I'll get a career selling drugs.
- Jared Kleinman: You drank my fucking juice box, this friendship is over.
- Zoe Murphy: Guitar majors are hot? Well, I have a Paper Jamz guitar that plays All-Star and I think that counts for something.
- Alana Beck: I'm ready as hell for chemistry, I know my entire periodic table of elements. Yes, I'm very sad.
- Heidi Hansen: Listen, I'm trying my best so shhhhhhUT UP.
- Cynthia Murphy: I dunno, if my kid talked shit about me online, I'd eat their phone.
- Larry Murphy: Congrats kiddo, you're a fuckin failure.