i know that all my shits cool

My new meds make my skin throw a fit. It’s not terribly bad, just a few things here and there, but it’s bumming me out because I’ve never really had too many run-ins with acne.

My four-year-old sister, however, is under the impression that it’s just “3D freckles”, and that they look very, very pretty. She wants all of my freckles to “pop out”, especially the ones across my nose; they’re her favourite.

And it puts me in this weird position where I can’t say, “No, this is acne, and it’s bad,” because I don’t want to teach her that it’s a bad to have unclear skin, you know? I tried to tell her that my skin was sick because of the new medicine, but she was having none of it. She didn’t think they were any different than all of my literal, actual freckles, despite my efforts to delicately tell her otherwise.

Kids are weird.

The more I think about interactions I have with children, the more I realise that children will consistently compliment “flaws” until they’ve been taught not to.

Like, a kid at the library, whose sister has vitiligo, saw my scars once and suggested that his sister and I should be cats for Halloween, since I have “tabby skin” and she has “calico skin”. “I can be a black cat,” he immediately added. “It’s not AS cool, but they’re the spookiest.”

When I started losing weight, my little brother immediately demanded that I gain it back, because I wasn’t as comfortable to cuddle with anymore.

And my other little sister always wants to wear her paint-stained clothes to school so that “everyone can tell [she’s] an artist”.

I don’t know. I guess talking to little kids just reminds me that all of this superficial shit we worry about really is 100% made up.

Ellie Lee: let’s take a pic looking cool.
Jin: I’m a mother fucking bad ass look at my fake ass gun I will fuck u up with just one finger
Namjoon: if looks could impregnate you’d be pregnant 85 times already
Taehyung: sit on my face
Jeon: look at all the fucks I give
Yoongi: soft swagger thumbs up
Jimin: I don’t know whats going on but I’m going to just act cute 🤗
Hoseok: I’m here to fuck shit up hashtag fuck bitches and get money hashtag mister steal your girl hashtag where’s the weed

How BTS flirts:

Namjoon: “Hey, baby. You’ve got one hell of a personality, wanna go get dinner some time?”

Seokjin: “I’m hot, you are hot; let’s go cool off together ;)”

Yoongi: “Flirting? Nahhh”

Hoseok: “HEY DO YOU WANNA HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WHERE WE CAN HUG AND KISS AND HOLD HANDS?? Shit, too forward…”

Jimin: *gets all flustered and blushy*

Taehyung: “You know, you look like a fictional character I like”

Jungkook: *watches from a distance and groans in angst*

Things Said/Heard at Rocky Horror Rehearsal

Note: due to the nature of RHPS, a lot of these are somewhat risque, albeit in a sorta cracky way. Nothing here has to lead to direct NSFW, but doing so would be pretty easy. (So’s Janet!)

  • “It’s okay. My lungs are still in my body. I’m good.”
  • “I have plans for your fake dick.”
  • “It doesn’t matter! Nothing matters! Just form a kickline!”
  • “Please yourselves. Not literally. At least, not on stage.”
  • “This is why we keep the feather boas in quarantine.”
  • “You- you’re a lot. I like you.”
  • “This is when you start to get groovy.”
  • “I could kiss you. I could marry you. I could buy you ice cream.”
  • “IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. WHO’S READY TO GET SLUTTY?”
  • “Shit, I thought this was water polo practice.”
  • “Biochemical research gets me so hot.
  • “This is the weirdest aerobics session I’ve ever seen.”
  • “I claim my prize.”
  • “I haven’t been this aroused since Nixon was president.”
  • “Where are the horses? I thought there would be horses.”
  • “I need you to channel your inner vodka aunt. I need you to channel your inner 10,000 vodka aunts.”
  • “Make it weirder. I know it’s weird. But make it weirder.”
  • “You’re, like, a sex god. You’re like a Nobel Prize winner sex god.”
  • “I like to approach all my problems crotch-first.”
  • “Okay, who here knows the Funky Chicken?”
  • “I’m so proud of you. You’re going to make me cry.”
  • “Anyone have a tampon?”
  • “Anyone have a hair band?”
  • “Anyone have any idea what’s going on?”
  • “There will be no actual nudity and no actual murder-cannibalism- at least, if everything goes according to plan.”
  • “Where’s the glitter and why is everyone sober?”
  • “Don’t worry about me. I’m having a good time.”
  • “You fuck with my boas, I will fuck with you.”
  • “It’s all cool. Nothing is on fire. Yet.”
  • “We’re allowed to step on you if you’re in the way.”
  • “OH SHIT MY TITS ARE OUT”
  • “I’m glad that we dream about each other in the worst possible ways.”
  • “It’s awful. I love it.”
  • “You. Me. Selfie. Now.”
  • “Feel this fabric. Now imagine it rubbing against your nipples. Frantically.”
  • “We are not responsible for any weird boners you may get this evening.”
  • “You guys, I just- I just love you so much. I’m so happy. You guys.”

I think a moment that really struck me about the importance of representation was when I made my asexual friend cry.

I have a book I’ve written, that I just haven’t posted anywhere out of fear. The leading lady is a pansexual/romantic trans girl cop, and she has a best friend in the coroner who’s an asexual sex repulsed homoromantic cis girl that really likes lizards. I would send my asexual friend the chapters to beta, because I’m not ace and I don’t want to fuck up anything.

The entire time she would mention loving their interactions (she wasn’t subtle about shipping it at all) and I, very excitedly gave her the chapter where said asexual character admitted to her father figure she was in love with the leading lady. She spent a good couple of pages freaking out about asking her out “I know she’s cool with me being asexual but what if she’s not cool dating an asexual? What if she takes it as an insult??” etc. Basic shit I thought almost all media with ace characters would cover.

Later, she calls me on skype, and is literally fucking crying. Apperently, ace media rarely considers ace people still having romantic feelings and almost never covers the difficulty, the fear, the nervousness. She said that character resonated so hard with her, it felt like she got hit in the chest and it proved to her I did care about people like her.

When I explained that I wasn’t even trying, it just felt natural to write she started bawling more and fucking begged me to keep writing especially ace/aro characters.

It was the most touching thing that ever happened to me.

worst behavior || nursey + jack

“Nursey.”

He doesn’t answer him, typing away at his keyboard in a way that’s visibly agitated, or at least irritable. What are normally soft, smooth clicks against the mac’s surface are now harsh, broken-sounding; each near-slam of his slim fingers makes a sharp clack in the quiet of the haus’ living room.

“Nursey,” Jack says again.

The continued silence makes it clear that he’s being ignored. Inwardly, he sighs.

“Twenty-eight, your captain is talking to you. Answer, now.”

At this, the typing stops. Nurse looks up at him, slowly, and his face is so uncomfortably nondescript and blank that Jack cringes a little inside of himself.

Keep reading

okay im sorry but ive been reading wayyyyy too many superhero AU’s but can we just step back and imagine for a second:

  • Nico di Angelo being able to manipulate the shadows and get to McDonalds before anyone else.
  • Chiron being a leader of like 50 kids, all with superhero powers
  • Chiron making rules like no interaction with civilians, whats so ever
  • And Nico being like ‘okay, cool. i dont really give a fuck’
  • but then will motherfucking solace
  • saves his ass from something, probably from not eating enough since will is always looking out for others
  • will being a fucking intern or something at a hospital and one day realizing holy shit i can heal people with my hands this shit aint normal but refusing to tell anyone since it’s like Xavier’s school for gifted kids you dont know and they find you
  • but no one finds will until nico saves his ass
  • nico accidentally being hit by a bus or something and will already being at the scene and is like holy shit that’s the hot guy that saved me from a mugger or something
  • and then he, like, makes up some lie and drags nico’s body off the street or whatever and something happened and he’s like “okay, dont freak out”
  • and then he juST HEALS HIM AND NICO’S LIKE WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
  • but nico doesnt tell will about the camp or whatever because he wants him to have a normal life 
  • but eventually will gets too nosy and follows nico after a freaking date or something and sees this shit and is like. what. the. fuck
  • and nico has to make up an excuse
  • they make a freaking emergency demigod ambulance thing
  • making out in superhero suits
    im sorry i just cant get it out of my head

We were fighting a pack of wolves in a clearing and our bounty hunter, Flux, was just bitten on the arm, which then prompted him to flip off the wolf.

Flux: Flux moves closer to both wolves and casts sword burst. A circle of spectral blades appear sweep around him ((Each wolf makes a Dex save

DM: wolf 1 got 8, wolf 3 got 18        

Delain(ooc): wolf 3 flips you off, now realizing it was meant to offend, mid jump

Bariz(ooc): Wolf 3 makes a skateboard appear out of the air and does a sick kickflip while flipping you off

DM: wolf 3 tries to do a middle finger, and finds its toes not flexible enough. wolf 3 is disappointed at that

Bariz(ooc): Wolf 3 does its best attempt at flipping you off and we all applaud and let it know it was a good try

Bariz: I applaud wolf 3 for its attempt at flipping off Flux

Delain(ooc): do we get inspired from wolf 3’s performance?

DM: the wolves get inspired

Me(ooc): damn it

External image
Random One Line Prompts

- “You made me cookies?”
- “Everything we stand for ment nothing after all.”
- “You stole what?”
- “You aren’t pathetic.”
- “A dragon ate your homework?”
- “I was suppose die you dumb ass!”
- “You looked at me differently.”
- “You work at a zoo now? Neat.”
- “I’m being dead serious. I’m a vampire.”
- “I’m not pregnant!”
- “So instead of being normal, you started a revolution?”
- “You found a child?”
- “Oh c'mon you would have murdered that guy too.”
- “The stars are pretty tonight, aren’t they?”
- “You ever seen something as cool as this?”
- “You never did understand the concept of being wrong.”
- “So wait- hold up- you’re a mermaid?”
- “I thought you were dead!”
- “I know you love me and all but stop threatening the doctor.”
- “How. THE FUCK. Are you- so motherfucking tall?”
- “Did you just? You just- oh my god!”
- “Everywhere I go there is this crow! I’m telling you!”
- “ You fell in love with a vampire prince and didn’t bother to tell me?”
- “I shit you not.”
- “You? You know how to shoot a gun?”
- “My man, I am high as a kite right now.”
- “You aren’t leaving here without telling me who hurt you so I can take out a can of whoop ass and unleash it on their ass!”
- “You just kissed me.”
- “But you hate avocados.”
- “I may be a vampire but I am a vampire of the sun, not the moon.”
- “Hold up- just stop- just- what are you actually doing? It’s 2 AM!”

The Front Bottoms Starters

❝ I know it’s so pathetic, I wouldn’t move to save my life. ❞
❝ They tell me you’re lonely. Well, it’s no surprise. ❞
❝ You and me could never be, ‘cause I don’t laugh at shit that I don’t think is funny. ❞
❝ You’re so eager to please. ❞
❝ You’d get on your knees for any fucking asshole who says he’s all you need. ❞
❝ You are water twelve feet deep and I am boots made of concrete. ❞
❝ We’re so drunk. We’re so cool. ❞
❝ They won’t know who I was before. ❞
❝ There’s beer and coffee mugs, water bottles and soda cups. ❞
❝ First, I am digging myself out of this hole. ❞
❝ I love your eyes. The way they look when you’re uncomfortable. ❞
❝ You’re high school and I’m just more like real life. ❞
❝ You were okay as a girlfriend. ❞
❝ I’ll do whatever you want all night. ❞
❝ There’s comfort in the silence of a living room when the TV is on for you. ❞
❝ We will eventually fall out. ❞
❝ It will someday make me very, very, very rich. ❞
❝ Know what I think’s really sad? To know how really sad you are. ❞
❝ Probably gonna leave real soon, just wanted to let you know, you were my life. ❞
❝ No need to hide. ❞
❝ You were my crime, I’ll serve this sentence the rest of my life. ❞
❝ I got so stoned I fell asleep in the front seat. I never sleep in the front seat. ❞
❝ Come on, baby, calm me down. You’re the only one who knows how. ❞
❝ God forbid I ever stop feeling sorry for myself for being selfish. ❞
❝ This is not the way I plan on living for the rest of my life, but for right now it gets me by. ❞
❝ She hopes I’m cursed forever. ❞
❝ My nightmares will have nightmares every night. ❞
❝ Say what you have to say and try not to cry. ❞
❝ This is just not what you wanted at this point in your life. ❞
❝ It’s so hard to stay when all you want to do is run. ❞
❝ I totally get you. I was a birdcage and you were meant to fly. ❞
❝ You are the poison I need less of inside my body. ❞
❝ You need a means to an ending, I need a spiritual cleansing. ❞
❝ That can be our thing, what do you think? ❞
❝ I can fight the rain clouds in your life every day, every night. ❞
❝ Can’t you see? I am delusional with love. ❞
❝ The love of my life is gone forever. ❞
❝ Get her back, you know I wish I could. ❞

history of the entire world, i guess   pt. 1 {Sentence Starters}

  • “Taste the sun!”
  • “Wow, that’s big.”
  • “Let’s do it together!”
  • “Look at those breasts.”
  • “New shit just got made!”
  • “That’s a human person.”
  • “The sun is a deadly lazer…”
  • “Like I said, it didn’t happen.”
  • “It’s sad. I’m sad. I miss you.”
  • “Brand new, way crazier shit!”
  • “Wow, that’s animals and stuff!”
  • “Fuck it, time to plant some grass.”
  • “Aw, fuck, now everything’s dead…”
  • “He was great. And now he’s dead.”
  • “Look at this, I control the food, now.”
  • “Hell yeah, now we’ve got business!”
  • “You could make a religion out of this.”
  • “And there’s no food yet, so I don’t care.”
  • “Coming soon to a dank river valley near you!”
  • “I don’t know. My dealer won’t tell me where he gets it.”
  • “Tired of using lame, sad metal? Introducing BRONZE!”
  • “Hi, you’re on a rock floating in space! Pretty cool, huh?”
  • “Nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right?”
  • “I can’t even get from here to there without buying a boat!”
  • “Holy shit, we just got hit with another ball of flaming rocks!”
  • “Yeah, it broke apart. Don’t worry about that, does it all the time.”
  • “Forget this, I wanna be something! Go somewhere, do something!”
  • “Will you get the hell out of here if I give you 500 elephants? Ok, thanks, bye.”
  • “You could make a religion out of this… and maybe conquer the world, as well.”
Shout out to all the people who regularly suffer from migraines

For those who have experienced the panic of that nasty, clawing little pain behind one eye and knowing what’s coming next.

To all the people who know what it’s like to have a thudding headache that makes you want to claw your way back into the earth to escape it.

The feeling of having a concrete block with sharp edges constantly rubbing the back of one eyeball.

To fear standing up from a bed or chair in case of blackouts or tunnel vision.

For those forced to pray to the porcelain god for the crime of sleeping a little too long or daring to go out and have fun.

For those who have puked till their stomachs were as empty and bile ridden as a Donald Trump speech. And yet your body still hates you.

To all those who understand the joy of a dark, silent bedroom. Or a hot, refreshing shower. Or a comfy sofa and cool towel over the eyes….and a bucket in easy reach.

To all those who know that an aspirin won’t do jack shit, but thanks for offering. Those who know how addictive Codine is.

For those who have had to give up fun activities or days out and been laid low on birthdays and special occasions because of it.

I wouldn’t wish migraines on my worst enemy, but you are strong and I send you hugs and best wishes for a speedy recovery. May your pillows be cool, your Migraleave be quick and effective, and your families be understanding.

Metamorphmagus!Draco

I have a lot of feelings about this headcanon and I really need to talk to you about this. Okay? Okay, good.

We all know that the metamorphmagus gene is in the Black bloodline, right? I mean after all Tonks was a metamorphmagus and her dad was a muggle, therefore she had to inherit the gene from Andromeda, who’s a Black.

Now, what if DRACO had inherited the gene?

THERE IS A LONG ASS MOTHERFUCKING POST UDNERNEATH THE CUT.

ENJOY.

Originally posted by hellagr8m8

((tagging some drarry squad members! @mxlfoydraco @svlvzvr @julietsemophase @sectumsemprat @pretentious-git @shewhomustnotbenamed @themalfoymanner @drarryismylife101 @drarrylocked @potionbooksandcookies @fangirl383 @hvlf-blood-bitch @actuallydrarry @harpyholyheads @theultimateslytherin))

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When I’m in a group and someone says an inside joke that I don’t understand but everyone else laughs at it and I just wanna seem like I belong

Sheldon Cooper might be #autistic, but he’s an autistic asshole. And he gives everyone with #autism a bad name. He is an asshole to his friends, who never call him on it because apparently that’s just Sheldon’s neurotype; he is an absolute monster to Penny because she’s a woman, uneducated, and doesn’t have a desirable job; he’s an asshole to people with only MAs; he’s an asshole to colleagues and students; to working class people; to his poor girlfriend (who has her own problems - with consent).

Nowhere in the diagnostic criteria for autism does it say, “tendency toward assholery.” Because the show does not explicitly state Sheldon is autistic, characters can’t clarify: “That’s not his autism, that’s just Sheldon.” And so autism and assholery become merged.
Merged in the minds of poorly-educated allistics and in the minds of asshole autistics. Verbally abusing friends? Autism. Misogyny? Autism. Disrespecting the working class? Autism.

I’ve know a lot of autistic assholes. “Oh, Paige, you’re not really autistic because you weren’t diagnosed until you were 27.” White cishet privileged males bragging about their IQ. The same looking down upon people who have trouble in school. Those that think they’re above allistics because they think the autistic neurology as it visibly plays out is some cool affectation, those who insult women who don’t like them - not because of autism. I had an autistic friend who had Nice Guy Syndrome and blamed my not liking him on his autism, after explicitly stating that I owed him for all the nice thing he did. THIS IS NOT HOW MOST OF US AUTISTICS ACT - NONE OF THESE EXAMPLES ARE.

Sheldon Cooper is giving us a bad name. In a perfect sitcom, he’d be called out for his behavior. But I guess Chuck Lorre doesn’t know shit about autism.

look I love when girls cover ‘take me to church’ and don’t change the pronouns, but can we PLEASE stop saying that it somehow 'makes’ the song gay???? The song is about institutionalized homophobia. 'Take me to church’ has ALWAYS been gay, regardless of the gender of the singer. Saying that a female singer makes it gay completely erases the fact that it was never straight in the first place.

new wave artists/bands and their rpg classes
  • The Buggles: Freelancer/Adventurer. Reasoning: Present early on. Their breakup after their second album flopped, followed by Geoffrey Downes moving to Asia (e: the band, not the continent) while Trevor Horn shifted focus to producing, parallels the first job change of a game - the moment where, mechanically speaking, everything changes as the PCs begin to embrace divergent roles.
  • Billy Joel: Rogue. Reasoning: I want to establish that I don’t think Billy Joel is in any way cool. He’s not even Nerd Cool like nearly everyone else on this list, where yeah they’re a goofy weirdo but they own it and make it work. One time I realized I didn’t know what Billy Joel looked like so I looked it up and got confused as to why Google was showing me all these pictures of a washed-up high school physics teacher. Anyway his songs are all about shit like “seducing good Catholic women into a life of sin and debauchery” (Only The Good Die Young), or “fuck breaking my back at a nine to five job maaaaaaan” (Movin’ Out), or “you dig it when I act like a reckless asshole” okay hold on actually in retrospect maybe the bit in You May Be Right where the speaker motorcycles home blind drunk should have been a red flag?
  • Cyndi Lauper: Gladiator. Reasoning: There is no way that Lou Albano didn’t teach her a bunch of powerful wrestling secrets. There’s an alternate universe out there where she joined the WWF in 1984 and became the woman Undertaker. Nobody would have beaten her ever.
  • Devo: Either alchemists or black mages. Self explanatory.
  • Frankie Goes To Hollywood: Either cleric/white mage or druid, depending on how you feel about Weed Joke’s. Reasoning: Frankie say relax.
  • Fred Schneider: Beastmaster or Summoner. Reasoning: While he’s an excellent and unique performer, the girls in the band - despite doing what once might want to call “backup vocals” - feel like they do an equal or even disproportionately high amount of the work carrying each song, y'know? Also I like to imagine his ultimate skill is summoning a living planet named Claire.

And, of course,

David Byrne: Warrior. Reasoning:

We all need some sweet fluff right now. Here, have a cookie.


“Babe, I lied,” Magnus whispers to him as Jimmy Kimmel goes through his opening monologue, talking at length about Isabelle’s movie and its twelve nominations.

Alec frowns, turning to face him. “What?”

“I lied,” Magnus repeats, and his voice trembles just slightly enough for Alec to know he is serious. “I’m not cool about this. At all.”

He smiles the most reassuring smile he can muster, bringing Magnus’ hand up to his lips to kiss the back of it. “I know,” he murmurs. “It’s gonna be alright. You’re allowed to be nervous, it’s okay. I’ll be just here and hold your hand.”

“If I die, I want you to raise Chairman Meow as your own,” Magnus tells him solemnly.

“He’s already my own,” he replies softly. “And you’re not going to die. You’re going to win that shit because you’re the best and Morgenstern can suck it.”

“Oh God, if he wins, I quit this career to move to a nice and warm country and become a tarot reader, I swear.”

Alec chuckles, rubbing his thumb on the back of his hand. “And where would that leave me?”

“As if I’d leave without you,” Magnus retorts at once and Alec smirks.