i know now why you cry

Sundays with Spideypool #7

Sundays with Spideypool Masterlist

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For @frikadellezwiebel who wanted Spideypool based off of Maroon 5′s ONE MORE NIGHT.  I hope you like it!

I dont usually write fics with this dynamic, so I’m curious to hear what you guys think. Also, I cant resist ending things with a happily ever after, so its not as bad as you guys think it will lol 

Heads up for some light NSFW

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“Stay with me.” Wade pressed Peter into the wall, covering his mouth in a hungry kiss. “Stay with me tonight.”

“I shouldn’t.” Peter shook his head even as he grabbed Wade’s shirt and yanked hard, ripping it right down the center and tossing the pieces on the floor. “I’m not going to, Wade we can’t keep doing this, it isn’t fair.”

“To which one of us?” Wade bit at his neck sharply and Peter yelled, shoving Wade away from him and into the couch, hearing the crack of it breaking when Wade landed on it. “No tell me!” Wade demanded, grabbing Peter’s arm so tight he would have left bruises on anyone else, and yanking him towards him. “Which one of us is this unfair to?”

“I’m not staying.” Peter said again, but he kissed Wade like he was dying, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth, climbing on top of the mercenary and rubbing their bodies together.

“The hell you aren’t.” Wade flipped them off the busted couch and onto the coffee table, and it shattered beneath their weight. “Stay with me.”

“You destroy everything you touch!” Peter shouted, arching his back when Wade fastened his mouth over his nipple, sucking hard. “Everything! That’s why we broke up!”

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2

My heart is pierced by Cupid;

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold.
___

I’m trying to fight my art block and I received some lovely suggestions I’m going to draw.

Mer!Hanzo and Pirate!McCree was one of these.
@rebeza and @finchworks are my inspirations and I look up to their designs and AUs ‘cause wow.

Have you ever seen a prettier Hanzo?

2

Secrets Out {Part 1} {Part 2}

When you made your way to their dorm later that day with the hat that you had taken, you were nervous to say the least. You wanted to ignore that gut feeling you had yesterday. ‘I’m just being paranoid’ you said to yourself quietly ‘they’re my best friends they wouldn’t just do anything to jeopardize that’ you kept reassuring yourself.

When you got to their dorm. you placed the hat on the countertop closest to you and right away you heard whispers, you couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying but from the words you did hear, you knew it sounded somewhat serious? When you closed the front door to get their attention it immediately went quiet. You fought yourself so hard to not overthink it, you crossed it out of your mind. Gone and forgotten.

You walked in to where they were all sitting, and sat in between Jungkook and Jin, you didn’t know how to explain it but it felt different, the whole atmosphere changed, Jungkook felt uncomfortable around you and Namjoon seemed to have sat straighter when you sat down and you saw it. Remember that pit in your stomach from yesterday? Well it was back and deeper than ever, you wanted to bring it up but you couldn’t seem to find the words and there was an awkward silence before Taehyung stood up making everyone jump a bit. “hey y/n! Let’s go play video games!” “tae-” you couldn’t finish your sentence before Taehyung pulled you up and dragged you to the living room where all the video games were. Taehyung got your mind off everything happening around you, but those slight moments where you would look around to see Namjoon, Jin, and Yoongi standing in the back whispering amongst themselves made you sink back into the depressing state where you question everything. Taehyung quickly picked up on your pauses and brought you back to the games. You felt him trying so hard to make you happy and get your mind off it, he knew about what was going on and he was trying to distract you?

Jimin came into the room being his giddy self but you felt it was forced. Was he forcing himself to be happy around you? why would he do that? Jungkook ignored you at almost all cost, something was eating at him and you were determined to find out what it was. What have they all been hiding? Usually you wouldn’t be afraid to speak up, ask them, but now it seemed as you were the source of the problem. You excused yourself to the bathroom to pick yourself up. when you came out, you must have been really quiet because none of the boys seemed to have heard you. Before you turned into the living room you heard voices you stayed behind the wall determined to find out what they were talking about, how you could fix it. “hyung I really can’t take this anymore every time I look at y/n I feel like crying” you recognized it as Jungkooks voice. “Jungkook you can’t say anything, she’ll be so hurt if we told her” a voice you heard as Namjoons said. “what we did was cruel and I’m also hurt we did that but why now Jungkook? Why suddenly after all this time you feel like you need to tell her now?” “Jin hyung please see where I’m coming from, I like y/n more than just a friend, but I can’t ask her out knowing what we did” Jungkook said he sounded as if he was so close to crying. “guys shut up y/n…” jimin said quietly. You’ve been spotted. You just stood there almost frozen. What have they done that was so bad? You’re going through all these years you’ve been friends with them in your mind. Wondering what has been happening behind your back.

They knew about your problems with trust and ‘friends’ in the past, they knew how you overthink everything, they knew about your anxiety, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. “y/n…I’m-” Jungkook mumbled. “I don’t know what you did or what it has to do with me but you better tell me… now!” you were angry. That pit in your stomach seemed to have dropped to your feet. Your mind racing with thoughts. “y/n I think you should sit down” Jin said softly following a mumbling in agreement from Jiimin, and Hoseok. You didn’t know what they did but you felt like crying again, you felt like your world was falling apart. Your surroundings turning dark. you sat down in front of them analyzing each of their faces.

Jungkook, Taehyung, and Namjoon looking like at any second they would burst out in tears more than you were, Jin and

Yoongi just look worried like they were thinking about what you were going to do and not having a conclusion. Hoseok is clearly upset with himself he looks like he’s mentally punching himself, he has that triangle mouth that appears when something is really upsetting him. What was going on? Why are they acting like this? What did I do? What happened? Can I fix this? Shit. You were breathing fast while not breathing at all. The silence was painful you were losing your patience. “well someone speak!” you said loudly making them all jump. You looked around once more and all of them seem to be either in tears or near tears. Jin took a deep breath, he grabbed your hand as if to make sure you won’t walk away. “y/n, we….”


A/N: ok so idk how much i like this and i feel like i rushed it and its getting to the problem too fast? idk but there is a lot i want to write that works with this so we’ll see a lot of you have been asking for a pt. 2 and i was so happy a lot of you liked it since it was my first time writing a series type thing, but I’m happy and thankful. i forgot to put the title of the story on the first part but i think ill be calling this series ‘Secrets Out’ what do y'all think? ok i hope you liked this part~ pt. 3? (ps i feel like the angst was weak with this one so I’m sorry)

Please Forgive Me, Lance

Blue hated this so much. She’d wanted to go back on it ever since the first second she stopped letting Lance in. He looked like he’d cry. That made her want to cry, too.

But that had nothing on right now. It was in the middle of the night, two or three am in Earth time- Lance’s time.

He walked up carefully to her, looking her in the eye for two seconds at most, “Hey, Blue…. Look, I know you don’t want me, but I need to know. Please tell me why you gave me up.”

She’d wanted to. She’d wanted to reach out to her boy, to say, But I do want you. And it’s killing me that I can’t let you come back to me right now. And it’s killing me that it’s hurting you. But she didn’t. She couldn’t.

He continues, “Please, Blue… I want to know why you gave me up. I need to know why I’m not worthy of you. Am I even worthy of Voltron anymore?” His voice cracked, forcing the lion’s heart to follow suit. You are more than worthy. If anything I am unworthy of you. I didn’t want to, Lance, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.

He’d whispered, “Why can’t I ever be good enough? Why am I always just a fill-in? Why can’t I ever be more than just an extra wheel?!” Blue hated this with every fiber of her being. She didn’t want to push him out. But she had to, for Voltron. Fight now, all she wanted to do was tell the world Fuck Voltron.

He’d dropped to his knees now, shoulders shaking. Little splash noises hit the ground. Blue felt her hypothetical stomach drop the second she’d realized what they were. Tears.

But God, how it hurt her when he sobbed, “Why did you even bring me here?! If you were just going to… to ditch me like that, why did you bring me here at all?!”

I’m sorry, Lance, I’m so sorry. I want you to pilot me, but you can’t. Not right now. I love you so much, but I can’t.

He’d sobbed, “I’m not even meant to be on this team! I want to go home, where I’m wanted!”My baby, you are wanted, I’m so, so sorry I can’t tell you and none of us want you to leave. You’re meant to be here, Lance. Please know that.

A whispered voice of, “Lance?” The former Red Paladin had walked over, Lance frantically wiping his eyes. He’d realized it was too late, just letting tears fall.

Lance whispered, “Keith. I just… why doesn’t Blue love me anymore?!” He latched onto the other’s neck, sobbing. I love you so so much Lance, my baby, my raindrop. She felt bad using that nickname. She felt she didn’t deserve it with how she was forced to treat Lance.

Keith had whispered back, “I don’t know, Lance… I’m sorry. I’m sure she has a reason.” Keith had glared up at her. He loved Lance a great deal, she could tell that by his normally fiery and passionate gaze becoming a cold and unforgiving glare.

After Keith had gotten Lance back to his room, probably to sleep, he’d returned. He had the same stony and cold look in his eyes. He was angry that she’d hurt him. Angry at her. She was angry at herself, too.

He told her, “You hurt him. A lot. I don’t understand why you aren’t fixing it. He’s doubting his place on the team because of you.” I know, and I hate it. I can do nothing.

Keith continued, “I don’t know what came over you, but freezing him out like that has made him so insecure. He doesn’t even think he deserves to be called a Paladin. All because you couldn’t spare two fucking sentences to tell him otherwise.” I wanted to. Go, how I wanted to.

She wasn’t angry at him. In all honesty, under all the sadness and guilt plaguing her, she was glad Lance had him.

“I just don’t get it. He was so devoted to you. I mentioned you once outside his door, and he made sure to tell me that you two were very happy together and that you were his lion only. He loved you-still does-and you don’t even care enough to tell him he’s important?!”

“Why don’t you get it, Blue?! I know how it feels to be abandoned like that. It kills you. It makes you feel like you don’t deserve the ground you walk on, the air you breath. It makes you feel so alone, even if you’re in a room packed with people. You’re hurting him so much, Blue. Do you even care enough to fix it?”

She did care. So, so much. She’d be killed for her Paladin without thinking twice. He was her baby. She loved him with everything.

“He thinks you hate him. I know that isn’t totally true. Because if it were, you wouldn’t deserve to be a lion. I try to tell him he’s important and wanted and loved, but he doesn’t listen. He thinks that just cause we’re dating I’m lying to make him feel better. He talks so highly of you.”

I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve him. I’m horrible and awful and I shouldn’t have ever agreed to Black’s plan. I’m going to strangle her. He doesn’t deserve something like me.

He’d finished off with, “You’d think that after all that’s happened, you’d know that mistakes of this scale last a lifetime, and do irreversible damage.” After, he stormed out, leaving her to her thoughts. She was pushing the other lions out at all costs right now.

I hate this so much, and I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can. As soon as Shiro comes back, you’ll come back to me, and I’ll tell you everything.

She felt awful. She hurt her baby. Made him feel like he doesn’t belong. Made him think she hated him.

I’m so incredibly sorry, Lance. I can’t… I can’t let our connections come back, or I won’t be able to take it away again. I just hope Red will comfort you. Please don’t hate me, Lance. Please remember all the times I’ve told you how great you are.

I hate this so much, and I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can. As soon as Shiro comes back, you'lll come back to me, and I’ll tell you everything. Every single word about how great you are. Maybe then you’ll know why I did this. Please don’t hate me.

Please forgive me, Lance.

Come Back to Me (Part One)

Fandom: Marvel
Ship: Peter Parker x Reader
Requested: No, but taken from this prompt list: “Just… come back alive, okay?”
Genre: Low-key angst??
Warnings: Spiderman Homecoming spoilers
Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten

Originally posted by j-murphy

Your best friend had raved on and on about asking his crush to the dance, and when he finally did it, you were the first he told. You pretended to be excited for him, and in a small way, you genuinely were. But when you thought of Liz slow-dancing with Peter instead of you, and him kissing her at the end of the night and not you, the excitement for him was largely overshadowed by sadness, because it would never be you. He would never have feelings for you.

So when you saw Liz walk into the Homecoming dance without Peter on her arm, your eyebrows furrowed. She walked around, greeting people everywhere around her, when she made her way to your group with Ned and Michelle. 

“Hey guys!” She said excitedly and smiled, and you forced a smile back. She was a nice girl; you couldn’t deny that. She was good for Peter.

“Hey,” you said back. “Where’s Peter? I thought he’d be with you,” you tried to keep your voice casual, but Michelle caught your eye and smirked. She knew your secret. 

“Oh, he’s in the car with my dad. He should be here soon,” she smiled again, dazzling one, before excusing herself to greet more partygoers. You turned around to face your two friends, fake smile still on your face.

“You okay?” Ned asked, a sympathetic expression on his face that you didn’t see often. He knew your secret too.

(It wasn’t much of a secret to anyone but Peter.)

“I’m okay,” you gave a real smile this time, and his eyes shifted to somewhere behind you. You stiffened, knowing your best friend was here. You turned around, seeing a panicked look on his face, but you knew that you were the only one who could tell his expression. You’d known each other for years; you knew all of his in-and-outs.

He went up to Liz and tapped her on the shoulder, and as he spoke to her, you saw his expression become guilty. You couldn’t see Liz’s because her back was turned to you, but you were sure it wasn’t pleasant. You saw him mouth ‘I’m sorry’ before sprinting through the gym doors and into the hallways of the school. 

Before you knew what you were doing, you were running after him. You abandoned your shoes after crashing through the gym doors and followed him barefoot. “Peter!” You yelled and turned another corner, but he continued to sprint farther ahead of you. After yelling his name again and turning a few more corners he stopped in front of a set of lockers and turned around to look at you.

“(Y/N), go back to the dance,” he said, the panic now even more evident on his face.

“No,” you said stubbornly. “What do you think you’re doing? You’ve been looking forward to this for so long!” 

He simply shook his head before grabbing you by the shoulders and turning you around. “You need to go. Now.”

“No!” You pushed his hands away from you. He looked at you desperately. “What is going on with you?”

He turned away again and mumbled under his breath, pacing back and forth. 

“Peter,” you said his name again, softer this time, and grabbed his hand to stop his pacing. “I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything,” you say, ignoring the feeling erupting in your chest from him squeezing your hand. 

“I know, I know,” he whispered and stayed silent for a few moments, staring down at your connected hands, before sighing, pulling away from you, and turning towards the lockers again. He bent down and pulled the bottom of the lockers, and you gasped in shock when the wall of lockers lifted up to reveal a small crevice filled with multiple things. 

Peter pulled out a ball of red and blue fabric and unrolled it, then turned around to show you it. You stared at try fabric in his hands, seeing the spider on the front and the mask with goggles falling to the side. You stared at it, and stared at it, and stared at it, before it finally clicked. You had seen this suit on the news multiple times before, clad on a mystery man you had always found so brave. 

You looked up at Peter and noticed his nervous expression matching yours. “Why do you have Spiderman’s suit, Pete?” You whispered, and you knew why he had it, you knew, but you couldn’t bring yourself to comprehend it. 

“You know why, (Y/N),” he sighed and looked down at the wrinkled fabric in his hands. 

“I need to hear you say it,” your voice was still quiet, and you looked down at the suit again. 

“I’m Spiderman,” Peter finally said, and your resolve crumbled. Tears flooded your eyes and your vision became blurry, and a few tears fell down your cheeks.  You weren’t sure why you were crying. You didn’t know if it was the betrayal of him not telling you, or the fear of him getting hurt, or something else entirely. But the tears continued to fall. 

“(Y/N),” he sighed again, and pulled you into a hug. “It’s okay. Why are you crying?”

“I don’t know,” you sobbed and laughed and cried, and Peter hugged you and rubbed your back until you could compose yourself. You pulled back from him after a few minutes and wiped your face with your hands, sure you looked like a mess. “But why are you leaving now?”

He sighed for what seemed like the millionth time in the last few minutes. “You know the guy that I’ve been fighting? All the news channels have been talking about it. Or, who Spiderman has been fighting.”

You nodded. “That bird dude?” Peter laughed, a real smile on his face that made you smile too.

“Yeah, yeah, the bird dude.” He chuckled and looked down at his feet before beginning to back away. “I gotta go. He’s gonna steal from Mr. Stark’s plane, and I need to stop him.”

“But why now,” you stressed, taking steps closer to him. “It’s our Homecoming.”

“He’s Liz’s dad,” he said, not actually answering the question, and you gasped.

“Liz’s dad?” Peter nodded. “Does she know?” He shook his head, backing away again.

“I really have to go, (Y/N),” he said, and went to turn around. 

“Wait!” You grabbed his hand again, and he looked at you expectantly. “I, um,” you wanted to tell him, you needed to tell him before it was too late. But you didn’t want to burden him before he went to risk his life. So instead of telling him what you desperately wanted to, you pulled him into a hug. 

He breathed deeply, resting his chin on top of your head as you listened to his heartbeat under your ear. You pulled back the slightest bit to look him in the eyes. “Just… come back alive, okay?” 

He smiled lightly and moved his hands from your back to your hands. “I always do.” He squeezed them once and let go, grabbing the suit from where he dropped it on the floor and running away from you. You sniffed loudly as he turned a corner, disappearing from your vision, and the sound echoed through the empty hallways. 

You began to walk back to the dance, wiping at your face again and collecting your discarded shoes to make yourself presentable. And as you made your way through the school by yourself, you thought, Good luck, Spiderman.

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This is my first Peter piece that I’ve written in a while, so I hope everyone liked it! Feedback is always welcome! Requests for Tom Holland and Peter Parker imagines are open, so feel free to send one in! 

~e

I can’t watch the one with Peter Capaldi, in ‘The Husbands of River Song.’ That last scene was so hard for me to shoot because even though we shoot out of sequence - that scene - they left until the last moment to film. And I, of course, know what’s coming up now that she’s been given her sonic screwdriver, and yet, of course, River doesn’t; she has an inkling, but she doesn’t know.

So I had to work really hard not to cry and I didn’t succeed. We had to do a couple of takes, and I just started bawling! And again I saw Peter, you know he’s tough, he doesn’t show or share those emotions and the last few moments we were filming, I was looking at him and said, 'My God! You’re teary-eyed! Don’t do that, because it will likely be me, too!’
—  Alex Kingston, on why she can’t watch River Song’s final scene with Peter Capaldi’s Doctor in The Husbands of River Song [x]

Keith/Lance, set immediately after the keith vlog cause I’m emotional and want bby to be comforted sooo hurt/comfort. 

Lance perks up when the control room doors slide open, it’s finally his time to shine; finally his turn to get behind the camera and mesmerize their audience. He stands up when Keith comes out, smiling at him, but Keith charges on by, his expression twisted; his eyebrows furrowed and lips held in a tight line.  

The smile drips off Lance’s face, replaced by confusion, he watches as Keith raises a hand to his own - scrubbing at his eyes. 

“Hey!” Lance calls after him, and Keith turns, his eyes wide with surprise; and there’s something else about them, too, they look a little wet? “How’d it go?” he asks, still trying to puzzle over Keith’s expression - is the vlogging really that bad?

Keith quickly drops his gaze, looking down at the ground. “Uhh, fine,” he says, and waves distractedly behind him, back the way he was headed, “I’m gonna go train, or just you know sit in my room. I’ll go to my room, I think, but training helps me clear my head and focus. I - yeah, I’ll see you later, Lance?”

Lance’s eyebrows draw together in concern, watching Keith stutter over his words. “Hey, man,” he says softly, ignoring Keith’s plans to ask, “You okay?” He reaches out a hand, putting it on Keith’s shoulder, and Keith, almost unconsciously, leans into his touch. 

“Yeah,” Keith says, his voice cracking a little on the word. “I’m fine. It’s just -” he chokes, then groans in frustration, bringing his hands up to cover his face, “Ugh, this is so stupid.” He quickly rubs at his eyes; he wants them to stop burning, and for his throat to stop feeling like it’s all clogged up, he wants to stop feeling like he’s going to break even if he just tries to talk - he doesn’t want to cry

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anonymous asked:

sorry, but do you have any tips for making poses/ full bodies? Whenever i try i end up giving up and crying. If you don't wanna answer that's okay too :)

why do I have a feeling that I know you…

I’m gonna sound like any other artist, but seriously, ref is kEY. Try studying it,(trace over it if you have to but please don’t post that) just do whatever to understand it. When you think you’ve got a hang of it, you can try sketching it without reference. (if it turns out disappointing than you can always go back) 

If it’s a more dynamic pose, try loosening lines and strokes, make them curved and don’t add sharp edges. 

it goes for stiller poses too: 

but yeah, that’s all I got :D Please don’t cry. You’ll improve if you put your heart into it >:D 

 before i say anything else about all my thoughts and feelings on 210…

I LOVE THAT NICOLE IS MARRIED

yes, it’s something to be talked about big time between wayhaught. yes, it’s a big ‘ol ugly secret. not technically a lie but sins of omission.. yeah yeah yeah it is what it is.

But seriously, this is something I have never witnessed be addressed in lgbt rep. It’s something I never expected to see. And it’s so personal to me.

Personal story time literally nobody asked for: I got married shortly after the repeal of DADT in Washington DC at the ripe old age of almost 20. I was young, dumb, and in the military. I was also extremely aware of the history, the battles that lead to small political victories. A lot of us were. And a lot of us did get married simply because we finally could. It was a huge deal then - not too fucking long ago.

Same thing but on a much larger scale throughout the US: after the US Supreme Court “ruled” on the federal legalization of gay marriage, a literal fuck ton of us got married just out of the sheer euphoria at the fact that we could. It was monumental for us to have this right. So, some of us (a lot of us) jumped straight (lol) for it.

Did that mean a lot of young people getting married before they were in anyway ready for marriage? yeah, big time. 

I am one of those people who is still technically married just because divorce takes time. It takes a ton of time, a decent amount of money, and a significant (excruciating) toll on a twenty-something-year-old’s heart and mind.  

So allow me, if you will, to paint you a picture. You’ve been watching the politics play out the entirety of your young adult life. You’ve got a girlfriend who you love. The battles so many generations before you have fought and died for have finally, slowly, painfully, been won. You partake in the victory not just for your life and your love, but in the name of those who have fought and died for this before you. The weight of this victory is not lost on you in the slightest. So you get married. A year (if that) later, it doesn’t work out. Like about half of all marriages, yours fails. But divorce is expensive. It’s approximately one trillion times harder to get divorced than it is to get married. So, a few years later, you’re still legally married. You’ve met the absolute love of your life, and you are still married. You still have a wife out there who you don’t talk to. You are not in each other’s lives, but you’ve got that title still.

That is my exact situation right now as I’m writing this. And I never thought I would see that issue on TV. It is a real issue in the LGBT (well let’s throw the blanket term “gay” on it as I’m talking about gay marriage in particular) community. A lot of us are in real, committed, loving relationships but we have actual spouses still. This is a real issue in so many of our lives. And idk if Emily meant to write this in because she is aware this issue effects a lot of us or not, but it’s amazing to me that I am seeing myself actually represented not just as a lesbian, but as a lesbian who rushed into a marriage.

If I went to the hospital right now at this moment in some near death situation, my actual wife would be called. My gf who I live with, have the happiest and best relationship I’ve ever been blessed with, and plan on marrying someday would most definitely be the one by my side, but my actual wife may show up. 

Now, my gf knows about my wife. She’s still my wife. I can’t call her my ex-wife yet. Not legally. I told my gf before we even started dating about my whole situation. Yeah we’re separated. Yeah, the only time we talk is about legal stuff. But the fact remains, I am a married woman.

Now, let me add something really emotional to this picture: divorce fucking sucks. When you go for a divorce, there are certain feelings that come along with it that never go away like fucking scars. You feel like a failure. You feel stupid. You feel unlovable and dirty and shameful and guilty and like you aren’t worth it. You suddenly can’t stand being around your own friends anymore because they’re married and having kids. Everything is a reminder that you failed somehow, even when you know it’s not your fault. No matter what the reason for the divorce was, you are shattered. All the love in the world from your soulmate you might find later on doesn’t totally banish those feelings. Some days, you don’t even think about it. Some days, it hits you like a sack of bricks that you weren’t worth keeping promises to. Divorce is by far the most painful experience I’ve had, and I’ve broken a lot of bones and been through my share of disowned by family, going to sleep starving shit.

So it is not crazy at all that Nicole, who fell fast and hard for a girl she did not expect in a million years to light up her life the way she did, hasn’t found the right way to bring this thing up. Wayhaught has been together how long at this point? A few months? I’m guesstimating 4 at most? I find it hard to feel any kind of mad at Nicole for not bringing this up yet. It sucks to talk about because it hurts to you, who went through the pain of a failed marriage, and you have to consider how to not hurt the other person who loves you now with the fact that you had a commitment to another person in the past. A serious, legal one. It’s a shit position to be in. It’s a nearly unwinnable situation. And it’s one that takes time to process for the other person. There is a fat chance this marriage that isn’t valid to you anymore turns off the other person because it speaks to your flaws from a time when you were young, dumb, and reckless, and promised somebody else your love. I don’t blame Nicole at all for not bringing it up yet. Maybe that’s because I know the feeling. Maybe because like, when has there been the time for such a big discussion?

Honestly, the reason I told my gf about being married when I did, the way I did, was because I was trying to keep her from liking me. When we first met, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I had just gotten out of one literally days before we met at a concert. Then she starting hanging out at my place because my roommate was dating her friend. I knew she liked me, so I gave her all the dirt on me: I’m married, I drink, I’m a writer, I’m broke, I’m medicated, I have a bad leg, all the negative things. “I’m married” is not a good way to start a conversation. That will keep the ladies away, usually. I mean, ultimately in my life, it was good to have all the bad things in my past out in the air, and our relationship is like the funniest, best love story I’ve ever seen.

But let’s look at life in fucking Purgatory. All the times both Nicole and Waverly have been attacked, been nearly dead, maybe been actually dead, been possessed. They fight demons. Their lives aren’t normal, and they are always in danger. Bringing up a topic like legal marriage? As someone who is married and has been separated for years, there are days I don’t even think about or remember that I’m married anymore. It’s just not something that’s part of your life when you get caught up in school/work/puppy training/what have you. It’s not something on Nicole’s mind always, I can guarantee you that. And when she does think, oh maybe I should bring this up now, something insane like oh, my girlfriend’s possessed takes precedence. 

That was super long and unsolicited, but I think important. Nicole has always been an important character to me, but now exponentially more so because an issue has been addressed that does touch so many queer lives. I feel represented in a way I didn’t know I needed until I saw it tonight.

I want to say that I get why some people are mad about Nicole being married, but honestly, no. Sit down. Take a look at the community around you and real issues we deal with in our real lives. If you don’t want to see the hard part of our lives portrayed, what the hell are you talking about when you cry about wanting representation? If all you want to see women kissing and smiling, go watch porn. It’s just as realistic as this “representation” you say you want. You want positive representation, that is what we are getting in a way I feel so blessed to be witnessing. We have real characters in the media reflecting real struggles. We have a bisexual woman in a small town who is extremely apprehensive and makes rash decisions because she’s been through hell. We have a lesbian with a protector impulse which makes her prone to bad judgement calls but very good at her job, and she’s got a past that echos what so many of us lesbians living in the real world are going through. So, no, sincerely reexamine what it is you want these characters to be, because it’s not good representation. It’s fake. And it’s not doing anyone any favors. 

tl;dr: Nicole is the rep of my dreams. Learn some history. Fight me.

(  LOVE  /  HATE  SENTENCE  STARTERS.

change pronouns to your liking / as you see fit!

❛ I hate that I love you. ❜
❛ I can’t stand the fact that I love you. ❜
❛ I’d rather die than spend one more second loving you. ❜
❛ If I could, I would make myself fall out of love with you. ❜
❛ Why is it so hard for to love me the way I do you? ❜
❛ I love you but please get out of my sight.  ❜
❛ I never said that I loved you.. ❜
❛ I love you but not that much. ❜
❛ You’re confusing the words love and like with one another. ❜
❛ Did you really think that I could ever love you? ❜
❛ We are not meant to love one another. ❜
❛ The last thing I want to do with you is love you. ❜
❛ I feel like I’m waiting on something that isn’t going to happen. ❜
❛ Here we go, here we go again. Now you’re telling me that you love me. ❜
❛ You only tell me you love me when you’re drunk or need something. ❜
❛ You say you love me and then turn around do this? ❜
❛ I’ve doubted this whole relationship ever since it started. ❜
❛ I don’t want to be in love with you anymore. ❜
❛ I never asked fall in love with you! ❜
❛ It’s not my fault that you love me more than I love you. ❜
❛ I’m tired of you walking all over my heart and emotions! Someday, mark my word. ❜
❛ One day, I will fall out of love with you and I cannot wait for that day to come. ❜
❛ I miss you but I’m better off without you around. ❜
❛ I want to push you off a cliff but hurry and be there to catch you at bottom. ❜
❛ I want to strangle you sometimes but then quickly bring you back to life. ❜
❛ I’m drowning in you and I don’t think even I can save myself. ❜
❛ Have a nice life, I’m done trying to be in it. ❜
❛ I couldn’t let go of you even if I literally did. ❜
❛ I could let go of you but I would still be there, standing, unmoving. ❜
❛ I don’t want to be saved from drowning in you. ❜
❛ All you do is break me and all I do is love you for it. ❜
❛ I wish that my hate for you would override the love. ❜
❛ The love I have for you overrides the hate I have for you. ❜
❛ I’m in misery with and without you. ❜
❛ I’m just as miserable without you as I am with you. ❜
❛ I just want you to stop hurting me! Is that so hard? ❜
❛ Why can’t you see? All you do is play with my emotions. ❜
❛ I’m tired of this roller coaster ride with you. ❜
❛ Please spare me the apology that I’ve heard so many times before. ❜
❛ I’m used to it by now, okay? I almost expect it. ❜
❛ Is it bad for me to say that I’m used to it? ❜
❛ I wouldn’t know how to act if you started treating me better. ❜
❛ I am so stuck with this love for you, I want it to go away. ❜
❛ I spend more time crying than anything because of you. ❜
❛ You say it’s the last time every time. ❜
❛ How many more times are you going to apologize and I just forgive you? ❜
❛ I’m weakened by your words every time. ❜
❛ I feel like a puppet and your the puppet master, just doing whatever while I suffer. ❜
❛ I’ve long lost the thought that you actually cared. ❜
❛ i’m hurting while I’m with you.. ❜
❛ I just keep on running right back to you. ❜
❛ I don’t want to let it go, I can’t let it go. ❜
❛ I fight the whole world for you if I have too. ❜
❛ I’m not giving up on us having happiness one day. ❜
❛ This love is taking all my energy. ❜
❛ This love will be the death of me but I know I’ll die happily. ❜
❛ Though my heart can’t take no more I keep running back to you. ❜
❛ My heart is beating for you but I can’t stop crying. ❜
❛ All the things we accept, be the things we regret. ❜
❛ I don’t know how I allow you to treat me so bad and still I stay. ❜
❛ When I get the strength to leave you, you always tell me you need me. ❜
❛ I’m mad because I love you. ❜
❛ I stop to think you could appreciate me then it all remains the same. ❜
❛ My biggest fear is that you will never change. ❜
❛ I’m sad and in love, that’s not how it’s supposed to go. ❜
❛ At this point I’m bulletproof with you, so hit me with your best shot. ❜
❛ Will you ever get tired of hurting me? Will I ever get tired of letting you hurt me? ❜
❛ The last thing I want is to go back but I know I will because I’m weak. ❜
❛ You are biggest downfall. ❜
❛ You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need. ❜
❛ I still fight and I don’t know why. ❜
❛ If our love is insanity, why are you my clarity? ❜
❛ It’s so hard to love someone who doesn’t know how to love. ❜
❛ I’m feeling really unappreciated but that’s not new.  ❜
❛ I don’t know how much more my heart can take. ❜
❛ So sad what love will make you do. ❜
❛ I can’t stand how much I need you. ❜
❛ When will this ever finally come to it’s end? You and me? ❜
❛ Everything you do makes me smile and I like you for a while. ❜
❛ You know exactly what to do so I can’t stand at you. ❜
❛ I despise that I adore you. ❜
❛ You completely know the power that you love. ❜
❛ It’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I love you beyond the reason why. ❜
❛ You’ll probably always have this affect on me. ❜
❛ Tell a lie that makes me want to stay, like you always do. ❜
❛ If it’s real then I guess I’ll feel the pain. ❜
❛ It’s hard to love someone who can’t be loved. ❜
❛ This love I can’t undo, you got me bound to you. ❜
❛ Please, don’t tell me that you love me. ❜
❛ I would’ve given you all my heart but there’s someone who’s torn it a part. ❜
❛ I’ll try to love again but I know the first cut is the deepest. ❜
❛ When it comes to loving me, he’s worst. ❜
❛ You say the words but it just don’t feel right. ❜
❛ You say you’ve changed but we both you’re begging, don’t fool me. ❜
❛ You say you dream of my face but you don’t like me, you just like the chase. ❜
❛ I bet you start loving me when I find somebody else, somebody better than you. ❜
❛ I’m letting you go, I’m loving myself. ❜
❛ I’m going crazy without you, you got me so confused. ❜
❛ All you have to do is that ‘i’m sorry’ and ‘i’m in love with you.’ ❜
❛ You’re truth is hard to believe. ❜
❛ You walked away and I walked away but we should’ve stayed. ❜

long distance reddie au

ok ok so to set the scene, eddie is in college w the rest of the losers club in nyc. richie is in california. ALSO I WAS GOING TO WRITE THIS AS A FIC BUT i figured headcanons would work too!! Also this is incredibly long,,, again. Im sorry rip.


- One day in lecture, Eddie sits down to this girl with short red hair and freckles. Like practically everyone else, she is on her laptop scrolling down some website and not paying any attention to the professor. Eddie can’t help but notice the website she is on and he kinda just stares at her screen for a bit. Obviously, the girl feels someone’s eyes on her so she turns and sees Eddie staring. 

- Eddie immediately gets embarrassed and apologizes. She smiles and tells him it’s fine. Then she also asks if he has a Tumblr. Eddie is like ?? A Tumblr??

- The girl gets like personally offended by his question. After lecture is over and Eddie is about to leave, the girl grabs his wrist and yanks Eddie up from his seat. Eddie is honestly really confused and he asks what she’s doing. She replies, “We’re going back to my dorm to set you up a Tumblr!”

- Then from that day forward, Eddie has been obsessed with Tumblr. Also, he made some pretty cool friends like Beverly Marsh. But anyways, back to his Tumblr. He runs a pastel aesthetic type blog with some Studyblr posts (He’s stressed and wants his lecture notes to look nice oKAY??) 

- One day, while scrolling down his dash, he sees a blog with the URL of ‘trashmouth.’ Eddie is extremely confused because he doesn’t follow any blogs like that one and he doesn’t know why it’s in his recommended section.

- He decides to click on it because he is curious. Much to Eddie’s surprise, it’s all shitposts and memes. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t surprised, the URL was trashmouth for crying out loud.

- Eddie accidentally hits the follow button when he’s clicking off of the blog. Literally, in like 0.02 seconds he gets a message from trashmouth and a follow back.

- Literally. the entire message is ‘SO DO YOU LIKE MEMES?’

- Eddie is basically like, “Shit, we’re mutuals now. I can’t just unfollow.” 

- Eddie responds back to the blog and is like ‘Uh yeah.’  

- Eddie is honestly so intrigued by this trashmouth guy?? He was stalking his blog and Eddie found out his name is Richie, he lives in California and is actually pretty good looking (YeS HE WAS STALKING RICHIE’S SELFIE TAG.)

- Ever since that message, Richie and Eddie become friends. They’re constantly tagging each other in funny posts, study tips, and literally always messaging on either Tumblr or iMessage.

- One day, Richie suggests they video chat. Eddie is kinda nervous but he agrees to anyways. Is he is secretly catching feelings for this trashmouth?? The answer is yES.

- The first thing Richie says in the video chat is, “Wow Eds, you’re really cute.”

- Eddie gets really rosy and Richie laughs at him. Eddie literally can’t help it though, he always gets flustered when someone compliments him, especially if it’s someone he LIKES.

- Then like maybe two months later, the two have gotten much closer where they’re practically video chatting every day. 

- Then one day on video chat, Richie is just like: ‘I really wish we could date.’’ and then he immediately covers up his mouth like he just exposed Victoria for her secret.  Eddie gets a little embarrassed as well but he decides he likes seeing a flustered Richie. He decides to go, “Richie will you be my boyfriend?”

- Richie’s eyes practically pop out of his face. He obviously says yes.

- During the midterm season, the two are always facetiming and helping each other study and quizzing each other!!

- Eddie always gushes about his boyfriend to Bev during lecture. She loves hearing about them.

- buT THEN ONE DAY,,, Eddie and Richie get into a fight? Like it’s a really stupid petty fight but they both take it pretty seriously?? They end up not talking for a few weeks

- Richie is secretly losing his mind because he really misses Eddie. Like seriously really really really misses Eddie.

- That’s when he gets a message from some girl named Beverly?? Who claims to be Eddie’s friend?? And she haS  A PLAN??

- Okay so basically Bev’s mastermind plan is to fly Richie out to NYC and have Richie and Eddie make up in person.

- Richie thinks Bev is insane. But also he lowkey really wants to see Eddie so he agrees to it.

- Like three days later, Eddie is really concerned because he still hasn’t gotten any messages from Richie. He’s sitting in his dorm and he’s on mobile literally just about to message Richie when he hears a knock on his door

- “Hey, Eds.”

- Eddie literally just about passes the fuck out. Like there he is!!! Richie fucking Tozier!!! In the flesh!!! Not a computer screen!!!

- Richie doesn’t even get a chance to say another word because Eddie jumps onto him and kisses him like full on.

- In the end, they’ve made up, met, and literally love each other so much. Eddie has to thank fate and his great friend Beverly Marsh for introducing him to Tumblr and to the user trashmouth.

- tHE END



also!!! feel free to add onto this lol idc

Thantophobia(M)

Plot: Thantophobia - the fear of losing someone you love.
It had been at least a month since you had seen your boyfriends, and the loneliness was turning against you, making your thoughts head into a direction you didn’t want it to take.

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader x Kim Taehyung

Genre: Smut, Angst, Poly au!

Warnings: Threesome, (slight) dirty talk, oral(giving), voyeurism, orgasm denial, masturbation denial(?), spanking shit you really need some holy water after this 

Notes: Requested by the beautiful @impossiblewriter . Sorry it took so long, moon child <3 I was stumped on how to do the angst. I really hope it’s good enough, since this is my first time writing a poly smut, lol. 2k Words

Originally posted by mimibtsghost

[Message sent 4:38]

It had been at least three hours since you had sent a message to your boyfriends, and they still hadn’t replied. It was a question; you wanted to know where exactly they were. You wanted to know if they were alright.

They were in Japan for tour, but where? You knew how much their schedule fluctuated – they could be texting you pictures of them in a hotel room in Osaka, then almost two hours later, they were informing you that they were on their way to Tokyo.

But this time, there was nothing.

Keep reading

  • Kara: Kara Danvers can't come to the phone right now. Why? Oh. Because she's dead.
  • Lena: *starts crying* Oh-Oh my god, I can't believe Kara died an-and I wasn't th-*hiccups* there to save her. I'M A HORRIBLE FRIEND!!!
  • Karaa: NO,NO,NO,NO. Lena, Lena,Lena I'm so sorry. I'm here ,it's me Kara Danvers your favorite cub reporter. I'm not actually de- you know what can we forget I even answered the phone like that.I was just being a dick.
  • Lena: *sniffles* Why would you tell me yo-your dead? You know I have no friends. Everyone I love is either dead or in prison.
  • Alex: *in the background* yikes.
  • Kara: I-I'm so sorry Lena, let me take you out for ice cream and a kale smoothie yeah?, *covers speaker* Alex order 3 dozen flowers and a "I'm sorry I told you I was dead card".
  • Alex: Already done.
  • Lena: *hiccups* Okay.