i know no one's online but i literally could not wait to post this

I believe Spencer’s twin is coming.

In this post I want to give a list of reasons why Twincer is my prime suspect as AD. I know a lot of these ‘clues’ come from interviews, but they’re still really convincing for me at least. I’ve definitely missed some of the clues from within the show because they’re not as easy to spot - we need to know for sure if Twincer is happening, then we can dig further. (The fun won’t instantly stop once the finale airs.) But for now, enjoy these, and at the end, I give my theory as to the motive.

Please note: none of this is overly new. This is just the summation of everything we’ve been talking about on my blog for the past couple months. I wanted to put all the ideas into one post, rather than 31529 mini posts scattered here and there. I will be updating this as we find more. 

  1. The famous airport scene from 715.
    We all already think it’s weird that "Spencer" asked Ezra to not tell anyone he saw her there with Wren. What’s weirder, is the fact that Wren and “Spencer” were arguing. Amongst muffle, I heard Spencer say "stop calling me that" (let me know if you heard differently). Did Wren have a slip-of-the-tongue moment and call her Spencer rather than the twin’s real name?
  2. Dr. Cochran’s story is very telling.
    We all already know the ambiguous implication that Mary had more than two babies, because Dr. Cochran said he dealt with “two of Mary’s babies”. What’s more interesting is the second baby he dealt with. The first baby (Charlotte) he gave to Jessica. He said that the second baby that he delivered was placed in family county services. This could not have been Spencer, since Spencer was delivered to Veronica within 5 minutes of birth. So, who was that second baby that was placed in family services? I believe it was Spencer’s twin. Why? Dr Cochran referred to that second baby as “underweight but tenacious” - lo and behold, the next episode, Toby calls Spencer tenacious. This was the writers foreshadowing the similarities between this second baby, and Spencer. Twins. 
  3. We all know Hanna’s ‘dream’ in 701.
    It makes no sense that Hanna was able to dream ‘Spencer’ saying the name A.D. since Hanna was kidnapped before these initials were even revealed. Perhaps Hanna was visited by Twincer; the one holding her captive.
  4. A.D. needs to stand for something. 
    Spencer’s twin could literally have the initials A.D., since we know she would be Mary Drake’s child. Her first name would start with A and the D would stand for Drake. 
  5. Brendan and Ian both confessed to being confused by the identity of A.D.
    They needed the backstory to understand it. Is that because they had no idea who has the name “Alex Drake” (for example) ?
  6. Tyler said before 7B aired that “you’ve never met AD. You kind of have. You’ll know what I mean”.
    This can be interpreted in two ways: you’ve never met Twincer but since you know Spencer, you kind of know who AD is. Or. You’ve seen Twincer over the years, but thought it was Spencer. Either way, Tyler’s comment screams twin-theory to me. This could apply to any twin theory, but in this context, I’m using it for Spencer.
  7. Ian said (0:57) that “fans will be satisfied to a point. Right when it seems it’s gonna be really great, it might do a little [downwards hand motion]”….
    That cheeky smile on Ian’s face when he said “it seems it’s gonna be really great”… what could be greater than a liar being AD? Ian could be referring to the fact that they initially show us Troian under the hoodie, making us think Spencer is AD. Then, after commercial break, they will reveal it’s just her twin, hence the “it might do a little [downwards hand motion]”. We will be satisfied to a point, he said. It’ll start off amazing by thinking it’s Spencer, oh wait, it’s another twin.
  8. Ashley said (0:14) that she didn’t even know the A.D. reveal is possible.
    Because she did not expect a second pair of twins to come along?
  9. “It’s like there are two of you living in this house. You, and you’re evil twin, and we’re not sure who’s coming down to breakfast". 
    said Veronica to Spencer in 423. Foreshadowing at it’s finest.
  10. Spencer doesn’t remember this flashback.
    Was it her twin? And oh how coincidental, that the writers tell us a time Spencer doesn’t remember, in the same scene Veronica makes the above comment about Spencer’s “evil twin”.
  11. “Where are they?”
    said Mary as she entered the Hastings house (flashback from 717). Who is they? The twins? She proceeded to say that Spencer is the only good thing she’s ever made. Maybe Mary knows Spencer’s twin is evil, and is neglecting her. 
  12. “You look very much like your sister. Almost like twins”.
    said Mary to Spencer in 701. The writers wanted us to think that Mary was talking about Spencer and Melissa, since Mary was holding a picture of the half-sisters. But, were the writers, and therefore Mary, hinting towards Twincer? Is Mary being blackmailed/forced (by Peter?) to keep quiet on Twincer, and she had a slip-of-the-tongue moment here?
  13. Marlene is very aware of the Twincer theories.
    Back in 2014 she said that Troian sent her an online fan theory regarding Spencer having a twin who is A. Marlene was blown away by it and she thought it was a very well thought out plan with detailed evidence across the series. Watch from 1:35. Whilst you may be saying “there’s NO WAY Marlene spoilt her own show’s ending in an interview!!” - I feel like she had no idea the show would go on for 7 seasons, and once they got renewed, she panicked. “Shit, we need a new Uber A. Let’s go with that brilliant fan theory Troian sent me”. She probably regrets making this interview now. You can tell her passion for Twincer in this interview. She talks so damn highly of it.
  14. Marlene has said that the person who plays A.D. had known for a while.
    We know that Marlene told Troian the entire ending of the show years in advance. “Just like I had story time with Marlene, you all now get story time with Pretty Little Liars” said Troian.
  15. The girl in the coffin in the opening has the exact same black puffy shirt as Spencer.
  16. Why does it seem that A.D. is always going after the Hastings?
    Why shoot Spencer, out of all the liars? Why demand Aria to plant the audio device in the Hastings? Why not ruin the Marin household? The jealous twin wants her ungrateful sister dead, hence the shooting, and the jealous daughter is angry she never got adopted. Too much of the story is Hastings-oriented. 
  17. “They’re all some pretty. Good. Theories.”
    Was Janel’s response to being asked about the Spencer-twin theories. (22:20)
  18. And, I’ll just leave this here. Good one @prettylittlesessions​ !
  19. “Spencer’s” weird comments in 718.
    In 718 “Spencer” says to Toby “you know what its like to be the outsider. Removed from friends and family”. What made her say this? Nothing was said or done in 718 to prompt our Spencer to say this. 
  20. Keegan said there are no more Spoby kisses in 7B.
    “I can honestly say that there is not another Spoby kiss.” Yet - there was one in 718. Either Keegan lied, or that was Spencer’s twin. (10:15)
  21. “It’s somebody you have seen.”
    says Marlene in regards to who AD is. Was she talking about the Spoby kiss in 710, which Twincer referred to in 718 when she kissed Toby again? Marlene was very careful to avoid saying “it’s someone you KNOW”. We don't “know” Twincer. But, we have seen her.
  22. “That’s not the Spencer I know”
    said Toby in 718. Writers are foreshadowing.

Setting all this aside, I want to add my theory on the backstory and motive:

  • Twincer, who’s name is A_____ Drake, was born in Radley, as Dr. Cochran told us in 7A. 
  • Twincer was raised in Radley - not because she needed to be at a psychological hospital, but as a form of daycare, because Mary was deemed an unfit mother, and also she kept Twincer a secret from Peter… he already hated her (to the point of planning her murder, later on) enough for having one baby together, imagine Peter’s reaction to having twins.
  • There, Twincer met and bonded with her sister Charlotte. Charlotte became Twincer’s only friend. (Twincer might even be Bethany, since we already know of this bond between Bethany and Charlotte, and how Bethany was drawing Charles being taken away by a monster. But for this theory, let’s just forget Bethany for a second.)
  • When Mona came to Radley and started telling Charlotte about everything she did to her sister, Charlotte and Twincer wanted to play. They wanted a turn at harassing Spencer and her friends.
  • For Charlotte, as we know, it was the feeling of finally succeeding at something in life that made the game her drug. For Twincer, it was something far darker.
  • Harassing Aria, Hanna, Emily and Alison is all about driving a wedge between the girls. Twincer wants to break up the girls. Turn them against each other. Hopefully by throwing fire at the girls, they will break up, ultimately, to ruin Spencer’s life. Again, jealousy. Twincer’s plan is backfiring because it’s exactly A’s threats that makes Spencer say “we need each other more than ever” and “always stick together”. The writers keep making the point of SPENCER being the one to make the comments about “always” sticking together. Twincer cannot break Spencer and her bitches. This is fueling Twincer’s anger. Nothing is working.
  • That’s why AD/Twincer recently shot Spencer. “If I can’t break the girls up to ruin Spencer’s life, why not just become Spencer?” Twincer shot Spencer in an attempt to assume her identity and squeeze her way into the loving friendship group that she could never crack. “These girls are so loyal to each other… they don’t even break up after even my threats. Damn, I want to be a part of this. It’s my turn to live a happy life. You had your turn Spencer.”
  • Note: I do not believe that AD has been operating since season 1. Mona’s time as A is completely independent from Charlotte and Twincer’s story. Mona started the game, and now someone is ending it, and she wants to know who. Charlotte and Twincer are their own duo; their own A-team, which stemmed as a result of Mona coming to Radley. Charlotte revealed herself - next up in the A team is Twincer, who is carrying on the game she once played with her sister. 
Queerbaiting in BBC Sherlock

Note: Before you label me as a ‘butthurt LGBTQ fan’ (as if such a thing even exists), I’m straight. Because apparently that makes my opinion valid now.

What is queerbaiting? 

There’s a pretty wide definition, actually, but the one that’s most relevant here is: it’s when you make very heavy references to queer relationships or even queer characters in your shows, but then you never follow through on these references. It’s done to increase viewership and draw LGBTQ fans in (because of the promise of positive representation). So basically, it’s a marketing technique, but a harmful one.

Why is queerbaiting harmful?

Think of it this way. You’re gay/bi/a lesbian, and people around you aren’t very accepting or are plain homophobic. You see these two men on TV, and you start thinking…wait, it looks like they’re in love. You go online and realize that you’re not the only one reading the show in this way - there are literally thousands of other people interpreting it the same way. So you tell everyone around you, look at these two men. They’re gay and in love, and this is a popular TV show, and it means that my sexuality and my feelings are valid, and there’s nothing wrong with how I feel. Everyone laughs at you and says “Nope, they aren’t in love. You’re delusional.” 

You think, okay, let them laugh. When this becomes cannon, they’ll know. The queer subtext is all there, and the writers wouldn’t dare not follow through on it, right? But sadly, the queer subtext remains just that: subtext. And suddenly all the homophobes around you stand validated.

But there’s no gay subtext in BBC Sherlock. It’s just a wishful ship.

Wrong. I’m not saying that everyone has to ship Johnlock, but no matter what you ship, you can’t deny the gay subtext in this show. People have written thousands of words worth of meta about it - and it all makes perfect sense. (I believe @inevitably-johnlocked has a master list - or she can link you to one). There are videos decoding all the gay subtext -  let’s take the example of TJLC Explained - 48 videos, and they add up to a total time of 37 hours, 49 minutes and 41 seconds - each one decoding a different aspect of the gay subtext in BBC Sherlock. Apart from the TJLC Explained series, there are a lot of other videos doing the same thing. Sure, a small number of such videos and meta are a little far-fetched, but the majority of them are well-referenced, well-written, and properly decode the various literary tropes used by BBC Sherlock. (Like, seriously, kudos to this fandom for being the absolute best meta-writers I have ever seen. You could turn half of these metas in as proper college essays.)

But the writers and BBC have said that there is no gay subtext.

The problem isn’t even so much with Johnlock not becoming cannon - it’s with the way Mofftiss and BBC have responded to being called out for their bullshit. Yes, they did a complete 180 around the time of season 4, saying “that is not the story we want to tell” and “it has never been implied that John and Sherlock are in love”. When so many people, literally thousands, are reading your show the exact same way, it’s because you put the subtext in there. Saying anything else is an insult to our intelligence - and again, it’s blatant queerbaiting and feeding heteronormativity and straight culture.

*yawn* Heteronormativity and straight culture are myths.

In His Last Vow, if Sherlock had come back to life for Molly or Irene Adler, everyone would insist that he’s in love with them. There would be no question about it. He came back to life for John, but him and John are eternal bros, right?

That, my friend, is heteronormativity right there.

Basically, you’re bitter that your ship didn’t become canon. 

LOL. Read above^ you think anyone would put in this much effort just because ‘their ship didn’t become canon’? The Johnlock community is literally comprised of people of all ages, sexualities, nationalities, and genders. So honestly, pegging us as ‘horny teenage fangirls’ - bit ridiculous. We aren’t waving flags and going around yelling “It’s gay because they looked at each other!”, we’re actually ANALYZING and DECODING the show. Before you label us, go read some meta, then tell us we’re still delusional for believing Johnlock could be real.

Besides, I don’t see such an uproar happening about hetero ships. You know why? Because they have representation, whereas LGBTQ representation in media is still severely lacking.

But artists have the right to do what they want with their art. 

Of course they do, but if my art offended an entire sect of society, I think I’d at least apologize, instead of blatantly denying everything and insulting the people who called me out for my bullshit. 

Additions to this post here

the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?

PART ONE: BEFORE THE OP

so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

Keep reading

kaluv888  asked:

Hi! This blog is a life saver haha! I have a little question; I'm going to be looking for apartments soon and it's my first time ever being away from home,,, is there anything I should look out for in general? Thank you!

Hey I’m so glad I’m helping! I have been meaning to write a post of this nature for a long time, so thank you for asking. Here. We. Go.

Apartment Hunting 101

Overview: There’s no getting around it, apartment hunting is a stressful process. The waiting and wondering gets the best of everyone, so give yourself a break and remember not to be too hard on yourself. The more prepared and decisive you are, the better off you’ll be!

1. Step One: The most important step in this entire process is coming up with your list of “Need and Won’t”. This list can always be adjusted in the spur of the moment, but will act as a baseline to help you easily disregard impractical apartments. Before you even start your search, sit down with any roommates (SO or otherwise) and come up with a list. Here is my list:

  • Need: Dishwasher, pet friendly, heat included.
  • Won’t: First floor apartment, all or mostly carpeted apartment, no closet space.

2. Step Two: Decide your price range. The paycheck to paycheck life is not a great one to live, so try to find an apartment that still allows you to put anywhere from $100-$500 into savings every month. Figure out how much you make monthly, with taxes taken out. If you’re paid every other week, this is two paychecks. If you’re paid every week, this is four paychecks. Start with your total monthly income, and subtract the following expenses. Let’s say you make $1,000 with taxes taken out:

  • Rent - Let’s say you’re living with a roommate, and your rent is only $500 per month.
  • Electric - My electric expense is $60 a month for a one bedroom. Once again, you’re living with a roommate so let’s say that you pay half of that. $30.
  • Internet - $30 a month internet only. Please don’t waste your money on cable. Just use your mom’s Netflix account.
  • Travel expenses - I spend about $85 a month on gas. Let’s say you use public transportation and spend around $100.
  • Food - Figure you’ll be spending $100 per person each month. So that’s another $100.
  • Misc expense: Let’s just add an additional $50 worth of expenses on. Because you never know what’ll happen.

That leaves you $130 a month extra to put in savings or to use in the event of an emergency! That’s awesome. Substitute your own numbers in, and figure out how much you can afford for rent. Immediately disregard any apartments that do not fit in this budget.

3. Step Three: The best way to find dependable apartments is to consult with your fellow apartment renters. Consult with coworkers, friends, family- anyone who is currently renting in the area that you would like to rent in. Get the inside scoop on potential apartments, both their advantages and their pitfalls. If you don’t know anyone who is renting where you’d like to rent, here are some other apartment hunting options:

  • Craigslist: Obviously
  • Drive-bys: Literally drive around until you find a cool looking apartment complex. Find their rental office and go right in, this is how I found my first apartment.
  • Your college: The Dean’s Office will have a list of apartment offerings to give kids who don’t qualify for on-campus housing.
  • This Site: A list of the top ranked apartment hunting sites.

4. Set up an appointment: After finding a potential apartment, consult with the landlord or apartment representative to set up a date and time to see the apartment. Respond promptly to any email or phone call they leave for you. On the flip side, if they aren’t prompt in their response to you RUN.

The first apartment I ever looked at, my boyfriend and I showed up on time and the landlord wasn’t there. We called her and she said that she was running late, and told us that the apartment was open and we could show ourselves inside. Serious red flag, but we gave it the benefit of the doubt and went in. Long story short, she never showed up. She gave us a tour of the apartment over the phone and kept saying that she was five minutes away, but never came. We later found out that her rental office was two minutes from the apartment we looked at. Talk about flakey! We told her we weren’t interested, if she can’t even show up to show us the apartment, how the hell can we depend on her to fix any problems we might have? Because you’re young and inexperienced, some landlords will try to give you the run around. Your age is no concern of their’s, and has no bearing on how you will act as a tenant. Here are some red flags for flaky landlords:

  • Not contacting you within one day of leaving them a message. Disregarding the weekends.
  • Not showing up when they say they will.
  • Repeatedly telling you that you’re “young” or “inexperienced”.
  • Telling you that the apartment “is good for college kids” or “a good first apartment” (that just means it’s a shit hole).
  • If they tell you that the apartment has a large turnover (people are leaving for a reason).
  • If you speak with one person on the phone, and meet a different person who shows you the apartment.
  • If they can’t or refuse to give you the exact rent amount.
  • If they tell you that have to “run some numbers” based on your history. An apartment’s rent should be the same for everybody.
  • If they can’t answer basic questions about service providers for the apartment.
  • If you get a weird vibe from them. Listen to your intuition! This is the person who is going to be responsible for fixing all your apartment related problems, you will be dealing with them every month at least. If they seem unreliable, don’t sign the lease!

5. Step Five: Find your appointment buddy! Never, ever, EVER go to look at a potential apartment by yourself. I don’t care how friendly Wendy seems online, she may be a serial killer. There’s no way to tell. Here’s a list of people who can accompany you:

  • Your older brother
  • Your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • Your Aunt Meredith
  • Your second cousin
  • Your friend who can scream really loudly
  • Your Mother
  • Your Step Mother
  • Your old nosey neighbor who smells like cats
  • Literally anyone you can trust

Bribe them with chocolate, I don’t care. Take someone with you! If you absolutely cannot find anyone to go with you, then you need to take additional precautions. Here are some options:

  • Kitestring
  • “Share My Location” on your Iphone
  • Pepper Spray
  • Posting to Facebook the address you are going to and when you are expected to arrive and leave.
  • Rescheduling your appointment to a date and time when you can be accompanied

Checklist

A mental checklist is good in theory, but will you remember it when you’re actually at the prospective apartment with your Aunt Meredith? I think not! Make a physical list of some of the following points, and feel free to add your own. my list is super extensive, but that’s just who I am. I am detail oriented.


Tuck this list in your back pocket and consult it when the person showing you the apartment is not looking.

Expense related

  • How much is the rent?
  • Is the rent just the rent, or are there any amenities included? Some apartments include heat, hot water, or electric expenses.
  • Is hot water included (if the apartment has a washer/dryer in it, then the water is probably a separate expense)?
  • What Internet service providers are available?
  • What electric service providers are available?
  • Do I have to pay for garbage removal?
  • What is the average electric expense that other renters deal with?
  • Ask when rent is due. Find out what the rent check procedure is.

Basic

  • What type of heating/cooling is provided?
  • What appliances are in the kitchen? *If there is no oven or fridge and you are required to buy your own then run*
  • What is the apartment complex turnover rate?
  • Do you have a choice of carpet vs. hard wood floors?
  • Will window blinds be provided? *If the apartment complex won’t pay for something as simple as window blinds then the landlord is a cheapskate and can’t be trusted*
  • Is there a “curfew”? Most apartments have a time of night when all the tenants are supposed to be quiet. This is generally not enforced.
  • What will your address be?

Additional

  • Is any furniture included?
  • Is there a Laundromat in the complex? If not where is the closest one?
  • Similarly, is the Laundromat in the complex card operated or quarter operated? Do you have to pay a fee for the card? Is there a quarter dispensing machine?
  • Will you be given a free parking permit? *If parking is not free then run*
  • Ask about local shopping and gas stations.
  • Ask where your mailbox will be.
  • Ask what their pet policy is. (some apartment complexes charge an fee)
  • Ask what their policy on repainting/decorating is.
  • Ask what their maintenance request policy is.
  • Ask where the nearest dumpster is.
  • How often does the complex loose power?
  • Is there a nearby police station or fire department?

General check

  • Check all cabinets (for bug infestations or mouse droppings or that they open properly).
  • Open all the windows and check to see that there are screens installed. Especially important for us cat owners! If there are no screens- are they going to install screens before you move in?
  • Check that all the light switches work.
  • Check that the water turns on.
  • Flush the toilet.
  • Check all the closet space (for size, mold, and water damage).
  • Check how all the doors are set (some apartments will put doors in incorrectly and they’ll never close properly).
  • Check the outlets (bring a phone chord and plug it in).
  • Check any balcony access.
  • Take a look at the paint- is it chipped? Is it stained? Will they be repainting?
  • Knock on the walls to see how hollow they are (hollow walls require studs if you want to hang anything up).
  • Open up the oven and make sure it’s clean. If it’s not clean make it clear that it should be cleaned if you want to move into the apartment. It’s not your job to clean up after the previous tenant.
  • Check that none of the floorboards are sticking up/creaking.
  • Check for nails and screws in between hardwood floor, tile and carpet (I’m not even kidding).
  • Check your phone to see how much cell service you have.
  • Can you hear any neighbors? Could you hear them in the hallway?

Final Decision

If the apartment you visited fits all your criteria, feel free to tell the landlord that you’re interested in pursuing this apartment. This way they can advise you of the next steps. Before you sign ANYTHING, visit the apartment complex twice more to make sure that everything is kosher. Do NOT tell the landlord that you will be coming by.

  • During the day: Do a drive-by of your prospective apartment to see what it looks like during the day. Is it safe? Are there lots of people standing around outside? Is it loud?
  • During the night: Come back another night to check the safety of your apartment. Ask yourself- would I feel comfortable taking the trash out late at night? Having friends over? If the answer is “no” then run…

Additional Resources

Apartment Setup: My post that briefly outlines locating, checking out, and setting up a new apartment. Also has some next steps that I’m not going over in this post. It’s pretty good if I do say so myself!

Apartment Hunting 101: A list of helpful resources all relating to locating and checking out potential apartments. Some of the links aren’t set up correctly, so you will need to copy and paste them into a new browser.

NYC Renters: This post is designed for NYC Renters, but the points are still valid even if you’re not renting in NYC. A must read!

Stuff Nobody Tells You: I love love LOVE @hipdomestic so much! They haven’t posted anything recently, but this blog is an incredible resource. Check out this post that really goes into depth about apartments.

anonymous asked:

Got any coming out tips?? I'm in a safe environment so I'm not at risk, but it's still difficult...

Here is literally everything I can think of about coming out:

In general:

  • Don’t come out around holidays or stressful family events
  • Be clear with the person you’re coming out to about who else you are out to so they don’t out you to other people accidentally
  • Specify what changes you want to make now, e.g. new name, new pronouns, etc.
  • Specify, if it’s appropriate (e.g. when coming out to a parent or close friend), what changes you may want to make in the future, e.g. hormones, surgery, etc. Don’t feel obligated to share this information to anyone but people you are close with.
  • Remind them that you’re still the same person you’ve always been
  • Be kind and patient with them if they are sad, confused, shocked, or scared. Don’t engage if they are hostile or refuse to even try to understand or accept you.

Coming out in person:

  • Plan what you’re going to say ahead of time. It will save you the difficulty of having to figure out how to phrase things when you’re nervous.
  • Choose a time when the person is not busy and is in a good mood
  • Try to anticipate questions they might have and plan how you will respond

Writing a letter:

  • This is a good method if you get very anxious coming out to people in person
  • Proofread and revise; try to have someone else read it if possible (you can post it (anonymously if necessary) on online support forums if you aren’t out to anyone)
  • Give it to them and then give them space to read it, but still make sure you are still accessible (personally, I went to a friend’s house, but knew my mother could call or text if she needed to; you can also just stay in your room)

Coming out on social media:

  • It’s often a good idea to tell close friends and relatives personally before coming out on social media
  • A brief post explaining the changes that need to be made (e.g. name, pronouns, gendered terms like niece/nephew, etc.) should suffice
  • You can also just change your name on the account and wait for people to catch on
  • Really, you can do anything you want. Coming out on social media is pretty flexible.
  • If you have conservative people who follow/friend you on your account, be prepared for the possibility of rude comments. Feel free to block/unfriend them.

Coming out with a powerpoint:

  • Seems oddly formal to me, but it works great for some people
  • Helps you organize your thoughts
  • You can add silly slide transitions if you want to be a bit less serious about it

If you’re nervous:

  • Deep breaths
  • Positive thoughts
  • Consider how you will respond ahead of time if people react badly, but don’t dwell on it
  • Tell someone you’re already out to so they can provide moral support

Afterwards:

  • Communicate frequently. Tell them when they do things that upset or hurt you. Ask them what you can do to make the change easier for them.
  • As long as they’re trying, be patient. Adjusting to a new name, pronouns, and way of seeing someone takes time. Give gentle reminders when they slip up.
  • Provide resources. Our resources tag (link) has info that can be helpful for families of trans people. You can also direct them to this blog to ask questions, if you think that would help.
  • Be prepared for conflict. It can take a while for people to understand.
  • Rely on your support system
  • Encourage the person/people you came out to to rely on their support system. Acknowledge that having a loved one come out as trans can be difficult or scary, but discourage them from trying to make you deal with their fears and confusion. If possible, direct them to a local support group for family and friends of trans or LGBTQ people.

Good luck!

Followers (and Kayden/Ami), if you have any other tips, let me know and I’ll add them in.

-Jesse

Enunciate [m]

Smut  // How does one function upon knowing that their next door neighbour, Citrus134 (Kyungsoo) is the audio porn star of their dreams?

Follow up to Audiophile

So, what is the first thing you do when you’ve discovered that your new neighbour posts audio porn online? You lie back on your back and plug your earphones in then go through all of his audios…all of them. You listen to his breaths, laughs and groans over and over until they’re imprinted into your mind. that’s what you do.

Then you imagined him. You imagined his plump lips clamped between his teeth as he stifles a groan. You imagined his bare chest rising up and down as he tried to suck as much air as he could. You imagined his black hair sticking to his forehead after he spends 10 minutes edging.

Keep reading

The college application process is without a doubt the most stressful time in all four years of high school. Here’s my advice on getting through it:

  • First of all, if you’re reading this as a freshman or even a sophomore, calm down. You do not need to be worrying about college yet. So many things can change between now and your senior year, any plans you make now likely won’t be the same then. I didn’t even know what schools I was applying to until I applied to them. I thought I knew for sure what school I was attending until I was accepted into the school I actually ended up attending. Just focus on doing well in school and having fun, then cross that bridge when you get there.
  • Begin researching schools after junior year ends. Junior year is notorious for being the worst one of the four in high school. The work is ridiculously difficult, the pressure is insane, and standardized testing is exhausting. After it’s over, you will have the taken the majority of the classes that will appear on your transcript, you’ll have your ACT/SAT results, and you should now have a good idea of what schools are within your range. Maybe your GPA tanked and you didn’t do as well on the SAT as you thought, so your former match schools are now reaches. Maybe you managed a 3.9 GPA and a 35 on the ACT, so your reaches are well within reason. Summer before my senior year, I (thought I) knew what I wanted to do and began looking for universities that offered me that. 
  • Be open-minded. I’ve seen lots of students get into the mindset of “these are the schools I want to go to, these are the ones I’m applying to, and that’s final”. Don’t be stubborn. If you find a school you’d never heard of before, but it has a really great program in your field of study and a beautiful campus, add it to your list. It can be scary to venture into the unknown when you’ve had your heart set on going to the same university for your whole life, but you never know what could happen. That school you just discovered could turn out to be your dream school. Your list of prospectives is live, meaning it can change. Welcome those changes with open arms.
  • Apply to your dream school! Going into senior year, I planned to apply to one school. Yeah, that’s right. One single school. It was a state school with guaranteed admission and I thought that I would save myself the time, stress, and money of getting rejected from other universities. For some reason, I genuinely thought I had no chance of getting into any school with an acceptance rate of less than 50%. Thank god my parents made me apply to Vanderbilt University, which had always been my dream school. One day, completely expecting to get rejected, I got my acceptance email from Vandy, and now I’m starting my second year there in August. All of this to say, again, you literally never know what’s going to happen. “But my grades/extra-curriculars/test scores aren’t good enough!” There were plenty of people in my class with better stats than me in all of those categories that got rejected from Vanderbilt. There’s no rhyme or reason to college admissions. Apply to that reach school, and keep your expectations in check, but you could be pleasantly surprised.
  • Have multiple safeties. At least two. My safeties were two state schools with guaranteed admission so I knew I’d have somewhere to go in the fall. If you can’t find somewhere with guaranteed admission, find a school with admission averages that you exceed by a lot. I know this seems like obvious advice, but I know of quite a few people, both at my high school and online, who got rejected from literally all the schools they applied to. Those who had a safety went to the safety. Those who didn’t have a safety went no where. Don’t be in that second group. Have safeties, and be prepared to attend them.
  • Don’t procrastinate. Another piece of advice that might seem obvious, but trust me, you’re going to be tempted. Senioritis is real and you aren’t going to want to do anything, especially if it’s not for a grade. Luckily for me, my AP lit teacher required us to turn in our admissions essay as an assignment in September, so I had mine done way ahead of time. If you don’t have a teacher to hold you accountable, you have to do it yourself. Start your essays as early as possible and edit them over the weeks before the deadline. Ask for your rec letters at the end of junior year before summer break. Make sure you have all your deadlines written down and get all your paperwork in order early. There will be plenty of people spending their Christmas and New Years finishing college apps that are due the next day. Don’t be one of them. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress.
  • Stay organized. I saw a studyblr post where someone made an excel sheet comparing all their prospective schools, with categories like size of campus, tuition, type of housing, etc. I did that and it was a great way to keep track of everything. I also put all the essays needed for the application as well as when they were due, so I could easily see what I had left to do. I highly recommend doing this: here is a template you can use to get started. Even if you don’t decide to do this, use your own method to keep on top of all your application work. It can easily get lost beneath your schoolwork or other things you have to do. Make sure it doesn’t!
  • Keep yourself busy. The waiting to hear back from schools after submitting your apps is the worst. It’s torturous. I submitted my applications in October/November, and didn’t start getting decisions until March. That leaves all of winter to be nervous. The only way you’ll get through it is to not think about it. Focus on school, get a job, enjoy your last season of a school sport, just stay busy to keep yourself distracted or else it will be the longest few months of your life. Take a mental break from anything college-related until the good news starts rolling in.
  • Prepare yourself for disappointment. Rejection is never fun, it’s never easy. You might think you’re going to be fine, but it hits you harder than you think. When I got my first rejection, from Georgia Tech, I cried. I didn’t even want to go to Georgia Tech. But I felt like I wasn’t good enough, and therefore I wouldn’t get into any other school. The whole reason I wanted to apply to just one school was to avoid that feeling. If only I had known that my dream school would accept me just a couple weeks later. It’s going to be tough seeing everyone around you get into their first choice school while you’re receiving rejections, deferrals, or waitlists. What you have to remember is that everything happens for a reason. That rejection means that wasn’t the school for you. You will end up where you are supposed to be. 

The application process is grueling and stressful, but also very rewarding. Stick through it and it will all be worth it. Up next in the University Advice series: choosing/changing your major. If you have any other ideas for topics you want to see covered, please let me know!

Next post: Choosing/Changing Major Advice

Okay, so here’s a recollection of the best day of my fandom life? #ECCC

I’m usually just here to make short, dumb, spazzy comments, so bear with me, because this will probably be long. However, I’ll try not to be too repetitive and remember the interesting parts. ;) Apologies if the pics are effing huge. I don’t do this posting thing - ever. hahah

Keep reading

Alternate Anime Titles
  • One Piece: The Never-ending Story: The Anime Version
  • Bleach: Literally Anything that Actually Works as a Story Title Because Bleach? Come on.
  • Free!: How Gay Can We Make this Without the Characters Actually Being Gay: Water Version
  • Fullmetal Alchemist: Shitty Father: Alchemy Edition
  • Tokyo Ghoul: Why To Never Date Anyone Ever
  • Noragami: Get Yato a Shrine 2k17
  • Neon Genesis Evangellion: Shitty Father: Robot Mindfuck Edition
  • Death Note: So THAT'S Why We Aren't Supposed to Post Our Full Name and Photo Online
  • Haikyuu: How Gay Can We Make This Without the Characters Actually Being Gay: Don't-Let-the-Balloon-Touch-the-Floor Edition
  • Attack on Titan: Shitty Father: Apocalypse Edition
  • High school of the Dead: That's Not How Boobs F*cking Work
  • Fate Series: People Die when They are Killed
  • Ajin: People Don't Die when They are Killed
  • Blue Exorcist: Shitty Father: Satan Edition
  • Yuri on Ice: How Gay Can We Make This without the Charac-- WAIT NO THEY'RE ACTUALLY GAY THIS TIME!!!
  • Code Geass: Jedi Mind Trick: The Anime
  • Jojo's Bizzare Adventure: What the Actual Fuck
  • Kill la Kill: Shitty Father: Oh Wait it's the Mom that's Shitty this Time
  • The Devil is a Part-Timer: The Entire Anime is Basically a Meme
  • Durarara: FIVE MILLION PLOTLINES AT ONCE!!!
  • One Punch Man: OOONNNNEEEE PPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNCCCCHHHHH!!!!!
The Secret (9)

prologue; part one; part two; part three; part four; part five; part six; part seven; part eight; part nine; part ten; part eleven; part twelve; part thirteen; epilogue.

Baekhyun could feel his heartbeat pounding hard against his chest, loud and fast as he slowly weaved through the chairs towards you and a shy Zoe. He’d never felt this nervous for anything in his life, not even when he debuted and performed at his first showcase with the rest of EXO. He didn’t want to mess this up: his daughter was too important and this was his chance to make up for the years he’d lost.

He introduced himself cheerfully, trying not to let his nerves shine through his voice. He flashed his daughter a bright smile that he hoped would comfort her a little. On the inside however, his stomach was doing somersaults.

“I’m your dad.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hiya! Can I request RFA/Saeran+MC going grocery shopping together? Could you also include which aisle they would spend the longest time in? I hope that's not too much >.< Have a lovely day~

Here ya go! Grocery shopping is nice because there’s a lot of food and I’m quite fond of that stuff.

-Sevensity


Yoosung:

  • Ok but this boy knows what’s up
  • He’s been to the grocery store so many times, he can probably finish all his shopping with his eyes closed (or at least one of them closed if you know what I mean hahahhaha sorry)
  • He’s like those moms who are into super couponing probably because his own mom was too
  • He has a whole binder full of coupons waiting to be used, and he’s categorized them all according to types and %off.
  • Even if you’ve been grocery shopping before, going with Yoosung is a whole other deal
  • Jeez is it intense
  • Though who knew browsing the vegetable aisle with this boy by your side would prove to be such an enlightening experience?
  • Unless you tell him you already know most of the stuff he’s saying, Yoosung will not hesitate to stop in front of every single thing and tell you about its various uses in cooking, or just life in general
  • And by every single thing I mean every single damn thing, even if it’s considered elementary knowledge
  • “This is a banana—“
  • “I know Yoosung,I know.”
  • He’ll also teach you really simple recipes while you load up your cart with food
  • “If you have trouble sleeping, heat up some milk and sprinkle some powdered nutmeg into it!” actually very comforting imo
  • “For really brown bananas, if you don’t want to eat them or can’t use them at the moment, put them in the freezer and you can make yummy banana bread with them later!”
  • “If you ever slice apples and want to prevent them from turning brown, just dip them in a bit of lemon juice!”
  • Thank you Yoosung Sensei
  • Every time you go grocery shopping together, you know you’ll return home feeling like you just took an intensive nutrition class

Spends longest time in:

Literally everywhere????

The only aisle he doesn’t really visit is the liquor aisle, but other than that he’ll spend the same amount of time in each place. Occasionally he will steer clear of the milk section after remembering some, ah, unpleasant memories

Zen:

  • Okay so he’s not quite a dolt when it comes to grocery shopping that’s for sure, like he knows about the basics, and of course he’s a beer expert
  • Though he is nowhere close to being on Yoosung’s Godly Grocery level
  • and Zen will never admit that he doesn’t know jack shit about what he buys most of the time
  • He’ll try to seem knowledgeable just for you, and he does want you to eat healthy (”Fruits and vegetable ares good for the skin! Though my skin is already amazing enough.” thank you zen that makes me feel so much better about myself)
  • But he’s not sure what to do with 90% of the stuff he puts in your cart
  • When you guys go home, he’ll sneak a phone call to Yoosung, list all the items that he bought, and Yoosung in turn will teach him a few possible recipes
  • Tbh usually such a phone call would sound like some shady drug dealing cuz it starts all like:
  • “Hey, Yoosung,” Zen casts a wary eye around before whispering, “I’ve got new goods.  Can you hook me up with some plans?”
  • But it’s okay, you’ll relax once you hear them talking about the properties of lettuce
  • “Zen, let me get this straight. You bought a whole octopus…without actually knowing how to cook it?!”
  • “Uh, yeah.”
  • “WHY?!”
  • “Well, I can’t be her knight in shining armor if I don’t know how to deal with a mere octopus!”
  • When Seven hears about this, he’s all like “move aside fabled evil dragon, the princess in the tower is now guarded by a wriggling, squishy octopus. How will Zen slay the mighty beast?”

Spends longest time in:

Cosmetics aisle! And I mean spends a loooooooooooooOOOng time. He wants you to try stuff on. Then he wants you to give him a makeover. Then he wants to take pictures. Then he finds new products to try. The infernal cycle begins again. 


Jaehee:

  • She never really had any  time to go grocery shopping before, and so she would just buy her meals from the convenience store
  • So the first time you went shopping together, oh boy was this girl lost
  • Although she knows all the fruits and vegetables and different types of meat, so the basics,  she just doesn’t know what to buy because there are so many choices??
  • She just wants to buy everything and try it all 
  • And so she does
  • You’re zooming around all the aisles, and soon each of you have your own cart chock full of food
  • In the end, two end up buying too much and invite Yoosung over to help y’all cook 
  • “Okay, I get that you wanted to buy a lot to get variety, but that does not explain why you had to buy 10 packs of meat and a total of 5 types of squash,” says Yoosung, mildly exasperated. 

Spends the longest time in:

The bakery section! She likes to look at their desserts to get inspiration, and will sometimes by those that catch her fancy. Although she also does spend a lot of time in the coffee section, however, there usually isn’t a lot of variety so she tends to be a bit disappointed. 


Jumin:

  • h a H
  • Jumin Han grocery shopping?
  • “Why go to the grocery store when the grocery store could come to you?”
  • babe PLS
  • “If you really want to make food yourself, why don’t you just order the ingredients online?”
  • Because grocery shopping is fun? sometimes
  • If you’re so insistent about going to the store, he’s 100% down to open one someplace in the building just for you.
  • Once you turn down all his extravagant ideas and manage to drag his fine ass to the store, Jumin is frowning.
  • Just like Yoosung, he’ll stop in front of every product there is. But this time, he’ll talk about them from a business perspective.
  • “If a watermelon costs this much for one pound, then for it to be of a profitable price, the amount of edible watermelon must be equal to—”
  • “Jumin we’ve been standing here for ten minutes.”
  • He’ll still occasionally stop to calculate the price per consumable unit though
  • Mutters to himself the whole time
  • But he proves to be immensely useful 
  • You’re comparing two types of dumplings, different companies, slightly different prices
  • “Jumin, which one comes out to be the best buy?”
  • Hoooooooh he’ll go all out 
  • He compares approximate size of dumplings, nutritional values, price per unit, reputability of manufacturer, you name it
  • So when you go grocery shopping, always bring yourself a Jumin Han to buy the best products in the store
  • Also because this rich boy is really cute when he wanders around, a little crease between his eyebrows, whispering equations to himself under his breath as he trails behind you like a little kid

Spends longest time in:

Pet food aisle, duhh. Would never dare feed Elly ‘commoner cat food’, though he’ll consider it if you make some brand suggestions. On a side note I feel like Jumin has tried Elly’s food before, especially if it’s something she seems to really like. “Maybe I can replicate this taste but make it something safe for humans to eat?”


Saeyoung:

  • asifdj;aslkdfjaslk;gja;lkdgj
  • cOme ON iT’S SAYOUNG WE ALREADY KNOW IT’LL BE A MESS
  • First of all, you guys are never both walking.  Either you’re in the cart and he pushes, or the other way around.
  • Here’s the thing though, he’s not so much in the cart as under it
  • I saw a picture of this but I can’t find it… you know how there’s usually a rack beneath the cart? Yeah, he just lies down on that.
  • If you leave him under the cart and wander too far away, he will yell “MArcO!” until you answer “polo” in an equally loud manner
  • This has gotten you kicked out more than a couple of times
  • “What do you mean soda and chips aren’t enough to sustain the human body?”
  • “What’s a vegetable?”
  • It’s like, he knows of the stuff, but he’s never seen any in person
  • “Wow…that’s…is that really an orange? In flesh????”
  • “This is edible?” he says, holding a pack of shrimp in his hands
  • While in the frozen food section: “I wonder what would happen if we blended a pizza, and then used that pizza to make pizza sauce for another pizza? Like…pizzaception.
  • you guys actually tried doing that but regretted it because that shit was disgusting
  • Food puns
  • He will try to be more serious if you tell him, but why would you? 
  • Saeyoung makes grocery shopping seem like an adventure

Spends longest time in:

I mean when he’s under the cart he doesn’t really have a choice so he’ll chill there and contemplate whether or not he should lick the floor while you get the food.  However, if he’s the one pushing you, you bet he’ll head straight to the snack section. That’s his turf. Will glower at those who dare approach his precious chips. “So um Saeyoung are we just gonna wait around here and chase people away all day or…?” 


Saeran:

  • He’s the type of kid that has absolutely no idea about anything
  • He’ll point at a cabbage and call it a cucumber
  • He says carrots grow on trees
  • You get a lot of stares because he calls everything by the wrong name with so much confidence
  • The baby is super proud of himself and you don’t have the heart to tell him he’s wrong
  • That changes when Yoosung goes shopping with him once though.  Yoosung almost cried when Saeran asked him what this weird, round white thing was called (answer: an oinion. HAH SAERAN IS LIKE AN ONION, HE HAS LAYERS HAHAHAHAHHA I’M SO FUNNY)
  • Yoosung lowkey kidnaps Saeran and they have a study session together where Saeran learns about the marvelous world of fresh produce
  • But once you go back to the store together after he studied hard, it’s so precious
  • Saeran correctly identifies most of the stuff, but after every time he names something, he’ll glance at you, as if waiting for your approval
  • once you give him a tiny nod, a smile playing around your lips, his eyes will just light the fuck up and ;sdfja;lskdfjaslkdfja the baby bean is gonna blush a lil’ because w oW he did it???
  • Saeran reverts back to a toddler when y’all go to the store, you better hold his hand or he’ll wander off and get lost in another dimension

Spends longest time in:

ya, the ice cream section. you can get ice cream on a stick?? w h at???? a pre made ice cream cone???? w HA t??? I CAN BUY TWO LITERS BUCKETS OF ICE CREAM??? W  H AT?!??!??!?! It’s a Saeran heaven and half the bill goes to his own, full cart of ice cream. 

10

Kick-Ass Chicks: Julie Mooney & Emily Sims

If you see two girls dancing perfectly in synch to your favorite classic tunes, there’s a high chance it’s sisters and bloggers, Julie and Emily. As we walked up to the busy front gates before the park’s official opening, we wondered just how we would find the two dancing darlings in a sea of people. But to no surprise, we spotted them in their matching Vans Lifeguard Hats & Sk8-Hi’s in a matter of seconds— after all, Vans Girls always standout from the crowd. Their laid-back California style and carefree attitudes may have already drawn you in, but their epic tips, tricks, and rare finds will keep you glued to their Insta stories and coming back for more! We sat down with Julie and Emily to get a glimpse into their mega fun careers and to talk building a business as sisters, and having the happiest place on earth as their office. Find out how they turned their passion into a career after the jump…

Keep reading

Hello, I still get the occasional ask on the subject of whether Light was ever sexually intimate with Misa and/or Kiyomi or not, so I figured I’d go ahead and bring this post back online for perusal. 

Anonymous asked: Since when did Light canonically sleep with Misa or Kiyomi?

Hey anon, sorry for not getting back to you sooner! This is a great question and I’ll try to be as thorough about it as possible ^_^

So first things first. Death Note was originally serialized in Shonen Jump, which is why it was never made explicit that Light does sleep with either Misa or Kiyomi. However, the implications that he does are scattered throughout second arc and make it pretty clear that this is definitely something that happens — even if it’s never stated outright.

So let’s start with Misa, because it’s definitely clearer with Misa

(I’ll put this under cut text for images.)

Keep reading

@staff

@staff

this ~sensitive content~ thing is the worst. you’re effectively blocking a TON of kids (mostly LGBT+) from getting sex education as a bunch of sex ed blogs are being flagged. of course theyre being flagged, they’ve got the word “vagina” in it! we can’t have that!

“oh but you can turn it off!” you say. the hell you can, not until you’re 18. by that time, a lot of kids will already have had sex, and if they can’t get resources, unsafe sex. 

“oh but there’s other websites!” you’re telling me that you want children to be put at risk when abusive parents pick through every single website their child visits? for some kids, their saving grace is a dupe account where they post “appropriate” content they can give their parents their email and password to. you know how when u click a blog, it opens up in the side without changing the URL thing at the top? That can seriously be the only way kids have to get any form of an education!

and even for kids like me, who aren’t necessarily in abusive homes but have no other way of getting information easily; do we not matter either? my mom died 4 years ago, literally all of the information I’ve gotten about my body and what’s normal and not normal has been online, and 90% of it from tumblr. Do you know how hard it is to find information on “regular” health sites? I’m either bombarded with health stuff like “the obesity epidemic” (more on that shit in a minute) or sites talking about abstinence. 

do you expect me to just go  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  at anything odd that my body does (idk like funky discharge or a weird feeling in my boob) because there’s no way to contact a health website owner with a specific health question? because my dad doesn’t really have the ability to take time off work to take me to the doctor to ask, which would take all day waiting for, and also would put me in the worst position (”SO what does this discharge mean, doc?”)? because I can’t access health and sex ed tumblrs to send an ask usually answered within a week because they’re “sensitive content”?
why exactly are we fucking over kids in abusive enviroments and girls without sisters or a mother to ask health and sex questions? and especially LGBT+ sex questions: you really think a kid is gonna wanna out themselves to their doctor (and basically their parents if their doctor is conservative :) ) when they want to know if (in a cis lesbian relationship) fingering their girlfriend can give them an STD?

on that note from earlier, about obesity? yeah, a lot of fat-positive blogs post nude submissions; not for people to jerk off to, but to normalize fat bodies; fat tummies, fat butts, fat boobs. As a fat 16 year old girl, stuff like that seriously helped me learn to love my body, that my body isn’t weird or nasty or disgusting. I have not once in my entire life seen a fat girl portrayed as sexy and/or in lingire on TV or in a movie. i have seen plenty of skinny ones, though! and before seeing blogs that exist to promote loving your body, I never realized that I could be that person when I’m older. I’d see my skinny friends and could picture their lives; wearing crops tops, bikinis, whatever they wanted and being sexy AF. I never had the ability to even wonder if I could be that too, until I found blogs that post some NSFW content picturing fat bodies in “sexy” situations; women with cellulite on the beach, women with stretch marks in lingire, women with rolls and sagging breasts as art

blocking “sensitive content” and blogs that post it hurts more people than it helps. if you truly want to help out some people who don’t want porn on their dash, enable a fucking blacklist instead of making people download extentions and shit!! or at least give under-18 people the option instead of cutting us off from thousands of body positivity and health blogs because you decide it’s too sensitive for us when our president talks worse than these blogs are. 

This will probably get ignored, but this is the first time something has upset me this much. You do not get to rip away stuff that, for some of us, was vital in being able to accept ourselves. and for other, vital in being able to access health information without being threatened by parents who keep their kid away from any mention of sex, let alone LGBT+ness. 

Some of us don’t want to abandon our support systems and follower counts in favor of lying about our age on a new account. Blocking sensitive content for underage kids makes absolute 0 sense; we can access porn if we wanted to no matter what, so why impose gross restrictions that don’t do what you want, but instead hurt kids who aren’t doing anything wrong or dirty. 

tl;dr, We don’t want porn, we want body positivity and health and safe sex information without having to abandon our followers and image; so at the very least, stop not letting kids under 18 see sensitive content. give us a choice. 

@staff


(ok to rb)

My take on SnB:Vs Episode 14, another long trash post from yours truly. Damn I should make ‘My take’ a thing now! LONG. SUPER LONG since I’m ChariNina trash

WARNING: This post is very long and includes rants as well. Read at your own risk.

First I would like to finally say the words I’ve been meaning to shout to all yall, anti or not.

BTCH IS THIS NOT CANON ENOUGH FOR YOU? IS THIS NOT? LOOK AT IT. LOOT AT IT DAMN IT. AINT IT NOT FCKNG BEAUTIFUL? IS THIS NOT FCKNG CANON ENOUGH FOR YOU? BTCH IF YOU’RE BLIND TO THE TRUTH (No offense Chari) THEN LET ME SHOUT IT IN YO EARS AND IF YO TRYING TO BLOCK MY DAMN VOICE LEMME SHOVE IT IN YO FACE CAUSE IT’S CANON. C A N O N CANON BTCH.

That was good, that was reeeeaaaaaal good. WHAT? STILL DON’T BELIVE ME YOU PIECE OF- beautiful human flesh THEN LEMME POINT OUT HOW AND BRUH THIS IS GONNA BE LONG.

First up, my harto. I was stabbed multiple times because of that new opening and no it’s not because I have a raging cold that I feel like something is stabbing my heart I legit felt that. Like bro look at this.

LOOK AT IT. (Apologies for the low-quality screenshots, I couldn’t help myself since I hadn’t downloaded it online and was streaming it so yeah)

You know it’s legit when they’re the first ones in the OP but wait there’s more! (You clearly know this is gonna be pure ChariNina with a little bit of something something but still mainly ChariNina)

Okay time out, let’s appreciate the Chari fan service since people were complaining that they were making Nina fan service now.

I certainly am not complaining though,

Okay back on track, things I like to point out during this episode (basically all the ChariNina in this episode) and starting with the OP.

Okay fine since I like this I’ll- OH WAIT OH MY GOB THAT’S LUCIFER. BABY!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR 1 SEASON AND A HALF NOW OMG YOU STILL LOOKING FINE. Oh hey Azazel you’re looking okay too. You both look fine as hell though… quite literally huehuehuehue

Okay back to the OP, it was siiiiick. Some people said they didn’t like it compared to the 1st OP but this one was sick and intense like the first one, sure a little different, more on green less on red but it’s amazing for me. What I do want to point out are these.

Me while watching: GO NINA, RUN TO YO MAN!

Still me: *quiet*

Still me: *gasp*

Me: OHMYGOB CHARIOCE TEARS OMG PLS SEND HELP GET ME A BOTTLE CAUSE THAT SHT’S PRECIOUS! WHY YOU CRYING CHARI NOOOOOOO. I smell a backstory coming up.

Okay now to the episode, I’m sure most of you have seen it so I’m not gonna make story tell cause yall are here to see this trash of a post so you know how it goes, but still here; cute Nina coming home scene which is cute.

Yep, cute. Also, Nina is flexible af

Okay now were moving to the moment where all of us were either too focused and in it to fangirl or were fangirling because of everything that has been said.

Second up, OMG.

Me while watching this: Nina you better say yes.

SHE SAID YES OMG!!! I made it sound like she said yes to Chari proposing to her… that could be arranged though…

Me: *starts to fangirl*

Me: *Fangirls even more*

Me: *FKCNING FLIPS A TABLE*

Me: STAHP, STAHP DOING THIS TO MY HEART OMG THIS IS TOO BEAUTIFUL. SHE FELT SAFE WITH HIS OMG I’M CRYING.

Me: NINA GIRL YOU AINT THE ONLY ONE WHO’S HAPPY. I’M HAPPY, HE’S HAPPY, YOU’RE HAPPY WE’RE ALL HAPPY BECAUSE OF YOU TWO. JUST FKCNG KISS ALREADY.

Me: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MAPPA WHAT THE HELL!!!!! KYAAAAAAAAAAA OMG I CAN’T OMG I JUST CAN’T I CAN’T RIGHT NOW I CAN’T. AGAIN, BTCH THEY CANON. AND YES NINA YOU WERE LITERALLY MADE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH CHARI.

Me: *insert lenny face here* (This galaxy is beautiful btw, props to the art in BahaSoul this is legit beautiful)

Me: Hihihihihihihihi. Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehuehue. I am pointing out again to the people who thought Nina’s heart was broken after she found out Chari was the King in the previous eps please go and suck on this.

JEANNE IS LITERALLY THE FANDOM RIGHT NOW. LIKE MAPPA LITERALLY PLACED A REPRESENTATION OF THE FANDOM IN-ANIME AND HOLY SHT JEANNE I COULD NOT AGREE MORE.

Me: *pauses*

Me: Naw Nina you don’t mean that girl… I mean you hated what he did as King, not as Chari!

Me: I know Nina… well I don’t know but what I would want is for you to get together.

Me: SEE NINA?! THANK YOU FOR GETTING MY POINT. YOU DON’T HATE HIM, YOU JUST DIDN’T LIKE WHAT HE DID! (Let’s appreciate the triple A writing here like this is some emotional sht right here)

Me answering for Nina and the fandom: YES.

I just want to point out how I said before that Nina wasn’t broken. Sure she felt hurt and this proves it now but she’s mostly confused and is in a state of wonder as to why he did all these things and how she should feel towards a person she loves but is doing all of these things to the other races. This is like Romeo and Juliet yknow. *end of serious*

Me: SEE NINA? YOU DON’T HATE CHARI! THANK YOU FOR CONTRADICTING YOURSELF.

Okay I just wanna point these out. The last images of Nina’s flashback to Chari was when Chari was smiling at her, and the last one was with his disguise as Chris. I feel as though this symbolizes that she didn’t fall in love with a king but in fact a person; a kind and great guy as she describes herself.

I mean look at this.

Aww

Awwww

AWWWWWWWW

All of what she remembers last is his smiles. THE SMILE PEOPLE THOUGHT WERE SARCASTIC AND WAS MEANT TO TAUNT HER. LOOK NOW BTCH, WHERE’S YOUR ANTI A**?

Ehem, anyway. I like what Jeanne is pointing out here.

(Jeanne really is literally the fandom in this right now)

Me: IT AINT A MAYBE JEANNE IT IS REAL! But seriously this is some good sht right here like dang, wow. This speaks to a whole other level, this can be applied in the real world.

Some of you maybe pointing out ‘but Jeanne doesn’t know who she likes and if she does she will definitely say no to this!’ My gob you antis never really shut up huh?

Do you really think Jeanne doesn’t have an idea of who this person may be when 1.) she saw how the king interacted with Nina back at the prison and 2.) she was literally there when Nina fought as a dragon to save her! She saw how Nina didn’t bite off Chari’s head when he came near her and it would be impossible for her not to see how she de-transformed into a human and he carefully caught her because she was fkng there and watching!

And if she really doesn’t know who this person Nina likes do you think she’ll hinder Nina from finding her happiness when the girl who was a complete stranger to her decided to be kind and help her? Nina could’ve left her but she didn’t and that’s because that’s who Nina is. Do you really think Jeanne would be selfish enough to try hinder Nina’s feeling for Charioce? Do you really think Jeanne would be the type of person who would tell Nina she can’t love him because he’s a bad guy?

Gob if you think so then you really don’t know who Jeanne D’Arc is and is just trying to make a way to break of Charioce and Nina.

Jeanne isn’t selfish enough to try and separate Nina from Charioce because of what he’s done. She might ask Nina if she’s sure with this and if Nina answers yes then she’ll support her, if Nina answers she doesn’t know then Jeanne will help her. Jeanne won’t stop Nina from loving who she wants and I want to make that perfectly clear not unless the creators suddenly decided to make Jeanne a dck which is highly not possible.

Okay moving on.

Here we have Nina contemplating on life rn. Don’t worry Nina baby we feel you.

You know something else I really liked this episode? Mama Dragon, I mean she’s not a dragon but Imma call her Mama Dragon. Mama Dragon is so nice and lovely and I feel bad because she lost her hubby, now I see where Nina gets her charms!

Also, thank you Mappa for giving us a legit mom and not some hot super model mother who looks the same age as her daughter. Very nice.

Mama Jeanne and Mama Dragon mom time. This is legit probs the only time Jeanne has ever cried her feelings out, leave it to a mom to comfort another mom.

Overall, I am very happy with how this episode turned out. We go an insight of Nina’s feelings and saw how she’s coping with the info she got. This gives a new depth to Nina since people just see her as an overly optimistic person but just because she’s optimistic doesn’t mean she doesn’t have trouble too. Now I’m happy most especially about badass granny dragon! Like look at her! She’s so cool!

Ah 2017 has been a good year for romance. Not for me though but ChariNina’s romance is enough to make me feel happy for love.

I was gonna add my ED thoughts in here too but that would be a liiiiitttttlle to much for one post (as 2k words isn’t already ‘too much’) so if you’re interested you can go ahead and see that too!

Well this ends another long a** post and yes, this is canon now, you just saw the proof.

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts, I aint here to cause arguments and those anti anti things are just forms of expressions so don’t take this too seriously and attack me, although I would like to hear your thoughts my intention is not to cause fights but to fangirl and give my honest opinions.

Feel free to reblog and comment and have a ChariNina filled life!

anonymous asked:

I don't believe the construction of minimum wage was meant to provide funds for fun stuff. Also, in a way, a low minimum wage is helping fight male and female stereotypes. With a low minimum wage, it means it's more likely that both adults in a household need to work, fighting the idea that the man is the moneymaker and the woman is a housewife. In regards to your personal salary, think of what you are actually doing. With the rise of online shopping, do we need retail store workers anymore?

Let’s break this down, because each sentence is its own brand of asinine, and I can’t just tackle it all in one go.

  • “I don’t believe the construction of minimum wage was meant to provide funds for fun stuff.” In 1938, the night before FDR signed the law establishing the federal minimum wage, he said, “Do not let any calamity-howling executive with an income of $1,000 a day…tell you…that a wage of $11 a week is going to have a disastrous effect on all American industry.” The cost of living back then was significantly lower, even when adjusting for inflation. When a movie ticket cost twenty-five cents ($4.20 in today’s dollars), I doubt anyone was making a huge deal out of someone going to catch a movie, unlike today, when a movie costs an average of $8.17 (and here in NYC, is at least $12.50). And if someone did complain, and the person decided to go to Harvard and get a degree in the hopes of making more, they’d just have to raise $420 a year ($7,047 a year in 2015 dollars) to go. Back then, the money just went farther. And there were fewer bills to pay–cell phones and the internet didn’t exist, the only things contributing to light bills were literally lights, and so on. If you could pay for your basic needs on a minimum wage and have an extra twenty-five cents a week to see a movie or grab a beer, I doubt anyone would care. Aside from that, the inherent cruelty in seeing low wage workers as labor drones who don’t deserve happiness is p disgusting honestly.
  • “Also, in a way, a low minimum wage is helping fight male and female stereotypes. With a low minimum wage, it means it’s more likely that both adults in a household need to work, fighting the idea that the man is the moneymaker and the woman is a housewife.” This is peak heteronormative white capitalist feminism. “If it takes two people to make the income of one person, then we can destroy the patriarchy by all being exploited equally!” I’m actually impressed by how goddamn stupid this concept is.
  • “In regards to your personal salary, think of what you are actually doing.” What I was doing (the post made it abundantly clear it was a former job) was spending nine hours a day (we had an hour break which had to interrupt our eight hour shift rather than being factored in) plus three hours daily commute (an hour and a half each way) on a job wherein I was required to run (literally, because if a customer complained about it taking too long for me to get back from the stock room, I could have my hours cut or be suspended or fired) between five stock rooms across three floors making up 36,000 square feet. I had to memorize the locations of items on the floor I worked on and the ones I didn’t, the list of color codes, different folds for many different items, prices for at least the most popular fifty to a hundred items, and so on. I had to keep 15,000 feet of displays and shelves and tables fully stocked and perfectly folded and sized while people were shopping, and if I was standing around while something was unfolded across the store, I could have my hours cut or get suspended or fired. I had to do all of this with a smile on my face, because if a customer complained about my attitude, even if it was just for frowning, I could get my hours cut or get suspended or get fired. If the store did less than $250k a day in business, people’s hours were getting cut. I’ve done much higher-paying jobs since and they’ve been much easier.
  • “With the rise of online shopping, do we need retail store workers anymore?” Yes, obviously. Online shopping is for when you’re casually shopping but don’t feel like going to the store, or if there’s something non-vital you want a better price on. If you need something for an event tomorrow, you’re going to the store for it. If you don’t know your size and want to try it on without waiting a week, sending it back, waiting another week for it to get to them and have them ship it back out, and another week before you get the other size, which may or may not be right, you’re going to the store. If you want to touch the garments and see how they feel, or try them on in front of a mirror to make sure the cut and colors look good on you, or get a second opinion from a (more or less) neutral party. If you want to wander around from shop to shop and see what you can find. If you want to go to a thrift store. Plus, if we branch out of retail, fast food isn’t going away because of the internet, nor are servers or bartenders or housekeepers or custodians or grocery store cashiers or deli workers or anyone else who does a service that people use but are underpaid for their labor.

At the end of the day, there will always be workers in positions that are currently underpaid. If every McDonalds worker decided tomorrow to get a STEM degree and were given the means to do so, there would still be only a certain number of STEM jobs and a need for fry cooks. And those fry cooks deserve to be able to meet their basic needs just as much as anyone else.

Music Series: My Everything by Ariana Grande

Ugh! If you aren’t sure about this story, blame Jimmy and Harry. Their episode of SNL replayed tonight, distracting me, and I stayed up way too late after getting little sleep the past couple of days, and driving a few hundred miles since yesterday afternoon.

I rewrote this entire story three times, unhappy with the direction it was going and still not sure that I love it, but I need sleep and wanted to post it first. I did save the original versions for use with any other lyric they may fit, but I hope this one makes sense in my bleariness.

I hope you like it, Anon, and thank you for requesting! (I apologize for it being a bit shorter, too, but I literally keep falling asleep in front of my laptop. Much love to you!)

This is “My Everything” by Ariana Grande. You can find it HERE on Spotify, if you would like to listen.

zzzzzzz…….

Shelli

******************

I cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them

And then it was clear

I can’t deny, I really miss him

To think that I was wrong

I guess you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone

Pain is just a consequence of love

I’m sayin’ sorry for the sake of us

“I’m sorry,” you say into your phone to Harry. “Please, can we just talk?”

“I don’t know,” he replied softly. “I think, maybe, I need a bit of time. To think.”

You sniff and Harry’s throat catches slightly, knowing you are trying to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“Listen,” he says, breathing out audibly. “You accused me of cheating on you. I’m so hurt by that! I would never do that to you. How could you think…”

Harry hears you crying and wipes a tear from his own eye.

“I need some time to think about this, I’m sorry,” Harry said, and with that you heard the call disconnect.

He wasn’t my everything 'til we were nothing

And it’s taking me a lot to say

But now that he’s gone, my heart is missing something

So it’s time I push my pride away

'Cause you are, You are, You are my everything

You had been so sure. Everything had made sense at the time. Harry had been spending so much time away from you, that doubts had started creeping in, and your history of bad experiences and heartbreak didn’t help. He always said it was work, but the more it happened, the more your insecurities took over, and you began feeling like you were losing him. When you started seeing photos online of him with a beautiful woman, you began thinking the worst.

But it wasn’t until one evening, when Harry had told you he was working late, that you finally broke. As you sat at home by yourself, you had checked your social accounts and found you had been tagged in many posts. It wasn’t unusual, being associated with Harry…it happened often. But the attached photos seemed to tell a different story.

Your heart shattered when you saw Harry with the beautiful woman, both dressed to the nines, smiling happily in every photo, with her hanging all over your man. Even now, believing him when he said it wasn’t true, it still hurt seeing the images in your mind.

I know you’re not far but I still can’t handle all the distance

You’re traveling with my heart

I hope this is a temporary feeling

'Cause it’s too much to bear

Without you and I know sorry ain’t the cure

If I cross your mind just know I’m yours

'Cause what we got is worth fighting for

'Cause you are…

You respected Harry’s request and left him alone to think. No texts…no calls…no going to him to beg forgiveness or to talk. You had explained everything already, and you knew as soon as you saw the look on his face, that you were wrong. You hurt him by asking him if he was cheating on you with the woman in the photos. You didn’t even know who she was, he had never mentioned her. Now you hated yourself for not trusting enough.

When several days had passed without Harry contacting you, you assumed he wasn’t going to, your answer found in his silence and shunning. Your head on your tear-dampened pillow, you sniff, grabbing your phone and texting him one last time.

‘I’m so sorry. I’ll always love you, Harry, and I hope you find your happiness with someone who deserves your love.’

You waited to see if he would reply, and when he didn’t, you cried, knowing not only was it over, but you wouldn’t be able to stay there any longer. Being in the same city as he, it would be too difficult and too tempting to not let go, making it harder on both of you.

All you wanted was to leave, to be far away from the world with Harry that you knew. You were embarrassed and ashamed, and you didn’t deserve someone like Harry. You should have trusted him completely, instead of listening to the stupid comments on social media, and looking at the photos until you were convinced he was unfaithful. The woman was so beautiful, and you should just feel lucky that you had the time you’d had with Harry.

“Please, stay and…and I’ll call Harry for you,” your roommate begs, grabbing her phone to make the call. “He’s just upset. Guys like to make women a little crazy sometimes, you know? Just, don’t go. How will that help you get back together with him?”

“He never texted back. It’s over. I fucked up and he won’t forgive me. He doesn’t want me anymore,” you sulked. “I can’t stay here. He doesn’t want me here.”

Packing your things, you made your flight arrangements and apologized to your roommate for leaving so suddenly. After a tearful goodbye, you grab your bag and leave as soon as the taxi arrives. The entire drive to the airport was miserable. You were sure your cabbie thought you were completely insane.

As you sit in the airport, hearing your flight called, you stand and grab your bag, walking with the flow of people, before suddenly feeling a hand grab you.

“Don’t leave!” Harry nearly shouted, gasping for breath, having ran the entire airport to find you. “Please, don’t leave!”

You weren’t my everything 'til we were nothing

And it’s taking me a lot to say

Now that you’re gone, my heart is missing something

So it’s time I push my pride away

You are, you are, you are my everything

Voltron Force [BATTLEFRONT] preorder FAQ

I’ve been getting lots and lots of questions about the pre-order and the book so i decided to compile a list of common questions!! Please check this out before you send me any questions related to my Voltron doujinshi! THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUCH A HUGE TURN OUT!!! 

ALSO if you have a specific question please ask off-anon so i can answer you privately. If i think it’s something that everyone should know, i will post my answer publicly. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What would be a valid thing to submit as evidence for adhd? I feel like my teachers never noticed anything, all it ever says on my report is 'quiet', and im in the uk and you need school reports for diagnosis, and i feel like i wont be taken seriously cos they dont say 'bouncing off the walls' or something

I feel you, nonny. I wasn’t diagnosed until college because I was just “quiet.”

Odds are, if a lot of the symptoms add up enough to make you SUSPECT you have ADHD, you probably have it. But more research is always good!

So like many things, ADHD is a spectrum. The two ends of it are Inattentive to Hyperactive- and then you have people like me, in the middle, with the Combined version. Some people have more Inattentive than Hyperactive, some have more Hyperactive than Inattentive. Everyone who has ADHD experiences the symptoms a little differently.

You can find about six thousand symptoms lists online, but here I’ll tell you things that usually don’t end up on those lists that my therapist told me a lot of her patients ended up experiencing aside from listed symptoms.

(Note: Initially I tried to keep these short. Yeah, that didn’t work. I bolded the important parts.)


1. Insomnia, or at least a super screwy sleep schedule. No joke, this can be super detrimental and will only serve to exacerbate your symptoms. “Just set a sleep schedule!! You’ll feel better!” they all say- Thanks Barbara if I had any control over when my brain chooses to sleep at all I wouldn’t have this issue, ok?

-a solution to this is to, in all actuality, condition yourself. Start ONLY using your bed for sleep. Get a little chair or something in your room if you’re also a hermit like I was growing up (mushroom chairs are gr9) and once you get out of bed, don’t let yourself get back on it for more than a few minutes unless you’re going to sleep.

Some nights it’s not enough, but in general for me personally this has been an actual lifesaver- I can go from being not tired to exhausted at the drop of a hat in normal life anyway (another symptom they don’t usually tell you about) so it’s nice to be able to make it work for me for once- I get into bed, maybe spend 30 minutes restless and then I’m out.

2. On the subject of sleep. You kids ever heard of the sleep of the dead? Because guess what, I have ignored literal fire alarms in dorms because of it. About 1-2 hours into my sleep I enter a state akin to a bear hibernating. I have slept through wake-up alarms, slept through emergency alerts, slept through FIRE alarms, slept though friends and family attempting to wake me… you get the picture.

3. On the note of the hibernating bear. You constantly wake up angry (or at least disgruntled) at the universe and take a really, really long time to power on. No, I’m not talking “a case of the mornings.” I’m talking it takes me until noon some days to actually feel somewhat alert. I’m talking feeling nothing but seething rage at anyone who tries to engage you in higher brain function before you’re fully awake.
-the seething rage is more personal to me, but, every single last one of my friends who’s ADHD has issues getting up in the morning. There’s hating mornings, and then there’s hating mornings.

4. About mornings. You’re constantly late to anything in the morning because you just couldn’t “get going.” i.e., you knew and 100% wanted to get up and get moving but your brain said “nah, let’s just sit here on tumblr mobile for a while k?”
-it’s very difficult to describe this part of executive dysfunction with words, because it comes off as laziness to a lot of neurotypicals. It’s not laziness. It’s having the motivation and and will and the drive to do something and not forgetting about it and it still doesn’t get done.

“Why didn’t you do x?” they’ll ask. And you just sit there thinking shit, you meant to, really, honest to god meant to, it was on your brain to do and yet all you could actually do that day was sit around and watch terrible TV. And then you feel terrible because YOU think you’re lazy.
It’s not laziness. It’s executive dysfunction.

5. Another not so well known EXDYF fact: Mental math or memorization for you will always be the literal bane of your existence. Teachers always told me I was a “smart kid” in school (I am, but not the point) and then they’d wonder why I couldn’t memorize a five line poem.

Or I’d start off with a 60 on a math test, until my teacher would comb through my work by hand (only useful math teacher I ever had in high school tbh) and I’d end up with a 92 because nearly all of my mistakes involved basic arithmetic errors. Even though I was able to use a calculator on the test.

(One time I decided 21-19=14. To this day 8 years later I still do not know from what abyss my brain pulled that info from.)

“You’re smart! Just focus!” I can’t choose what my brain decides to focus on that easily, Sharon, not without a lot of crying and panicking.

6. But wait! You say. I have really obscure information from a fandom that I can infodump on someone at a moment’s notice! Surely that means I’m just Lazy and Unmotivated, right? I guess I just can’t be bothered to memorize the important stuff.

*Loud buzzer noise* Stop right there. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

I will take you by the shoulders and look deep into your eyes and make you realize that guess what? If you have an ADHD brain, you have NO control over telling your brain what is important and what is not. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Your brain decides, and you usually get no say in the matter.

This sounds bad, I know. And in terms of school, birthdays, appointments, it’s terrible. But you’re not helpless. It sounds trite, but, get a good goddamn calendar app on your phone and use the hell out of it for appointments and birthdays. And for school? Find those fandoms and use mnemonics. No, seriously.

7. Also on school: You procrastinate the hell out of everything. And I’m not talking normal “haha I’ll do it later!” procrastination. I’m talking serious, problematic, REPEATED “why the fuck can’t I just do it on time like a normal person” procrastination where you start blaming yourself for not doing it sooner like a neurotypical.

Listen, buddy ol’ pal (or however that goes), you’re not neurotypical. But listen- there’s actually a medical reason why you do this.

So everyone’s brains have reward systems, right? Your brain gives you the feel good when you do something you think you should. And later, a brain remembers that it got the feel good for doing the thingy thing.

In a brain with ADHD, that reward system malfunctions. Sometimes critically. Your brain chucks so much stuff it deems “unnecessary” out the window it chucked out that feel good you got when you turned in that homework on time, or cleaned out your car, or did some pilates for 30 minutes.

8. You want to know what doesn’t help with number 7 there? Another thing that won’t show up on symptom lists but that virtually everyone I know with ADHD (quite a few, actually. Turns out we hang out in packs because we’re usually the only people who can understand each other) about ADHD is how daunting large tasks or projects seem to an ADHDer.

So listen, more medical talk here. Remember that EXDYF thing? Yeah, this is part of that.

EXDYF makes it very, very hard (almost impossible, sometimes) to break down large tasks into smaller, more feasible tasks. You get nervous the longer you put off that paper (“this isn’t something you can spit out overnight!”) You’ve been sitting in front of your computer for hours, and the only word you have written down is “The”.

Honestly, I’m not sure why it’s actually super hard to break down large undertakings into smaller tasks for the ADHD brain. But! Solution.

-if you’re having a problem breaking down ANY sort of task, I promise there’s someone else who’s done it online.

Need to write a paper? Use a template. Need to clean out your car? Find a checklist, or have a friend make you one (cause Lord knows I can’t make one on my own). Need to make a presentation? Find a sample one online. Hell, this even works for taxes. (Gasp!)

Do NOT be afraid to ask for help with even personal large undertakings. If your friends are actually your friends, then they’ll relish the chance. Especially when you can turn around and blaze through a quarter of the important project you two (or however many) have due next week in four hours because of hyperfocus.

9. So, your focus. Totally trash, right? That is, until you hyperfocus.

Hyperfocus, to a neurotypical, probably sounds great. Tune out all distractions and get shit done, right?

Sure, Linda, if you can call being able to ignore things like the need to sleep, eat, and use the bathroom “tuning out distractions.” Time becomes a literal illusion. And damn do you pay for it later by your brain not wanting to do anything at all.

On the flip side, this is why ADHD people make fantastic emergency workers like EMTs and firepeople. If you learn what to do with adrenaline when you start feeling it, you feel like you could punch Satan himself when you’re riding an adrenaline+hyperfocus high. Combine that with the fast-paced, unexpected nature of such jobs and and you have a happy ADHD brain because it’s never bored.

10. Because boredom feels like death. No, Cheryl, I’m not being overdramatic. Yes, Becky, I recognize everyone has to deal with boredom.

A neurotypical’s boredom and an ADHDer’s boredom are two very different levels of boredom. Ever heard the phrase “bored to tears”? Now imagine every time you get even a little bored, it’s like this.

And of course, the ADHD hell brain remembers the bad feels of being bored but can’t recall how nice it was to remember all of the answers on a quiz that one time you paid attention in class.

This is why I have the worst problems doing homework and housework, or in general anything with serious repetition (exercise, cooking, driving, tidying up etc.). I can do it for maybe 10-15 minutes, and then my brain’s like “k I’m good. Next source of input please?” like, brain, I’m only like 3 feet into washing the kitchen floor. P l s.

11. Speaking of tears. Has rejection by someone you value ever felt like you wanted to quit existing on the spot, or at the very least wanted to move to an ice cave in Greenland and cry for the rest of your life? Even if the rejection was just perceived rejection and your friend was just expressing grumpiness at something else?

Even if your logic says “they didn’t reject you calm down you’re overreacting?”

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It’s a newer term, but honestly, once I found out about my own ADHD and this bitch of a symptom a loooooooot of my weird habits started making a lot of sense in my head.

It doesn’t have to be actual “rejection”. It can get set off from stuff like awkwardness (hence my personal resistance to making Adult Phone Calls) to disbelief (a huge, huge reason so many people go undiagnosed), to personal judgment and/or criticisms (oh, ok… I guess I’ll never mention my love for X ever again) to even just indifference (no one noticed I mopped all the floors in the house… guess I’ll just go die!).

Basically, if you perceive that someone you care about has dismissed you in some fashion, you literally just want to quit existing. On the spot. Because the feeling of it makes you feel sick, your chest gets tight, you can feel it in your hands, and it makes the rest of your day miserable.
This variant is more likely with people you care about, but can definitely 100% happen with strangers too.

Another variant is this: if you perceive that someone (whether you care about them or not) has dismissed you in some fashion, your first instinct is to attempt to disregard and discard them completely. It usually doesn’t work like you want it to.

I’m pretty sure this is another reason why ADHD people hang out in packs. We always have a line in our head we’re terrified to cross with our friends. It makes us seem like we’re emotionally unavailable- but in reality we’re just terrified of being dismissed by our friends for showing our true geeky, infodumping, hyperfixating selves.

(Listen. If a friend mocks you for your true self they weren’t your friend in the first place.)

12. But in terms of crossing that line… Social cues? What are social cues?

Normal people can infer a lot from body language. With a lot of ADHD people, we tend not to notice. Or we notice too much and overanalyze. There’s no in between.

On a side note, your best bet for flirting successfully with an ADHDer is to just come out and say it. (Talk like an elcor. “Flirtatiously: I want to hear more.” or whatever innocent phrase it is you’re using to flirt. If they’re into Mass Effect, this will make them laugh, which means bonus points for you in their eyes.)
But seriously, unless you’re making obviously romantic overtures we’re usually pretty sure you’re just being nice.

Back on topic: lack of social ability is a massive, massive reason people with ADHD are usually bullied growing up. If there aren’t any other ADHD people around, it usually feels like no one “gets” you. I was bullied horribly enough during junior high and high school to the point where I still have to repress the urge to automatically assume someone being nice to me means they’re plotting something behind my back. (Didn’t help that my hs was basically the Korriban Sith academy without most of the death. Culty, religious, nepotism ran rampant.)

13. Woe betide thee who angers the ADHD. It’s not a problem with everyone, but… We’re like volcanoes. Awe-inspiring to watch in action, but God help you if we explode in your direction. And if it’s righteous anger there is almost literally no stopping us.

Anger has its uses. Our problem is that, like a volcano, we always have a lot simmering under the surface. We tend to hold onto it for ridiculous amounts of time until one day, boom. Yeah, I know, Kathy, that happens with everyone. Delayed gratification and all. The difference with ADHDers is that we usually don’t wait.

ADHDers’ anger will come out initially, because we can’t suppress it. We’re impulsive as fuck. We don’t think before we leap (our brains probably wouldn’t let us anyway). And it will seem like we are flying off the handle for no reason whatsoever. But we also have a tendency to unhealthily hold onto it afterwards even once the initial burst has happened. It’s like a (bad!) positive feedback loop.

14. Gotta bounce the leg. Gotta rock. Gotta fidget. Shit, I’m sorry, were you talking?

So one time I made it through 40 minutes of a math class actively suppressing the urge to bounce my leg… and then my leg twitched of its own accord. Freaky as shit, 0/10 recommend.

Sitting still is physically impossible for me, and for a lot of ADHDers.
Lack of impulse control + lack of social cue knowledge + lack of ability to decide what’s important to our brains = Fidget fidget. Fidget fidget. Twitch. Fiddle with paper. Hey, my backpack has a fun texture by the zipper. Oh my God, that lady on the TV is wearing the best shade of blue ever! I wonder where she got it. Shit, I need to go shopping. Wait, why did I need to go shopping again?

“Hey I asked you what you got for number 7.”

Fuck.

15. Depressive episodes. For me, these usually happen after a major hyperfocus where I taxed my brain for all it was worth, especially for long periods of time.

If it lasts for a long time or starts seriously affecting your life, get it checked out. If your doctor gives a damn they’ll be happy you came in to get it checked, even if it was the wrong diagnosis, because if it had been then at least they were there to help you. And they’ll always be happy to sit down and figure out what’s wrong. I know they have to watch out for hypochondriacs and whatnot. But if a doctor really cares about helping people they’ll listen when you say something’s wrong, because they know that you’re the one in your skin, not them. Which means if you really think something might be wrong, something probably is.

More evidence: justexecutivedysfunctionthings here on tumblr. Contains people’s experiences with EXDYF, which is a huge red flag for ADHD.

The Wikipedia article on the subject. There’s a nicely organized chart. (Or at least there was when I looked at it.) Remember, you don’t have to identify with all of the symptoms to be ADHD. Even if you only identify with a few, if they’re significant enough that they are seriously impacting your life and existence, it’s worth getting checked out.

I may add more to this later/change some stuff as my memory allows.