i know no one's even online now

The Arkansas Sleep Experiments

by reddit user nazisharks

To Those Who Sleep

This happened a few years ago. You may have heard rumors if you’re on campus. Some even circulated online. Nobody knew what really happened. Because I’m the only one who knows and I kept quiet. For a multitude of reasons. None of them matter now. Here’s what really happened.

The four of us were handpicked for this experiment by Prof. Richardson because we’d all studied under him, worked under him, and, as much as anyone can, earned his confidence.

He said this one was different. We had to keep it quiet. He wanted to keep details to a minimum. All he would tell us before going in was that he required a month of our lives and that if he succeeded sleep would never again be a necessity.

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anonymous asked:

(1) Hi Viria, I hope you are well :) I am sorry to bother you with this, but it's really important for me, and I wanted to share it with you. It'll be long and kinda sad at first, but it gets better, trust me. I'm a 23 y/o latina art student. When I was a baby, my mom left my dad and remarried, and my little sister was born when I was 10. She is the light of my life and I love her to no end. Our mom, however, had had and undiagnosed and untreated mental illness for years, and one day

(2) during a severe crisis she hurt us really bad. I was 12. She was taken away to a psychiatric hospital and Child Services prohibited her from ever getting near us again. Since then, I have been taking care of my little sister and practically raised her while my stepdad worked 2-3 shifts to afford our education and payment for my mom’s hospital, living and meds. He was always working and I took full responsibility for my sis. As you can imagine, even though I loved her with my life, 

 (3) the situation was very stressful and exhausting for me. By the time I was 15, I looked every bit a teen mom. One particularly hard night when my little sis had been crying about mom, I couldn’t sleep. So I turned to something that calmed me: the Harry Potter books. I read them online, and somehow ended up searching for HP fanart. That was the night I stumbled upon your DA account. And boy, did I love it! I know back in 2011 your skills weren’t what they are now,

(4) but I was blown away, and what’s more, I felt inspired to draw. I had never tried to make any art before; it wasn’t “my thing”. But that night, you inspired me. As time went by I kept drawing and closely followed your improvements. Your art was so relaxing, calming, and inspiring, that it really helped me during hard times. You kinda dragged me into all the cool fandoms, series and animes, and I found life to be far more bearable with so many awesome things to love and think about.

(5) Your DA and Tumblr were some sort of safe sapce for me. It always cheered me up and gave me joy, peace, inspiration. When the time came, I choose to study Art at college. It turned out you did too, and you kept up all the good stuff in your blogs. Weirdly enough, I kept feeling a sense of pride whenever you improved and got better. I was so strange that you were so so far away and didn’t even know I existed but you helped me so much.

(6) I got accepted at my country’s top University to study Fine Arts; I moved cities and took my sister with me; she grew into a wonderful, sensible, peaceful child, and her presence motivated me to be the best version of myself, while your art motivated me to keep expanding my academic/artistic abilities. Life was hard but good at college, and I had incredible opportunities. I am graduating this spring with an advanced studies specialization, and was recently hired to work at

(7) of a movie. It’s like living a dream. And tonight, just a couple hours ago, the most incredible thing happened. After dinner, my little sis came to me, phone in hand, and said “Hey Ana, you won’t believe what I found. There’s this girl who makes amazing art of all the fandoms you’re in. Her drawings are gorgeous and she has so many!”. She showed me your tumblr. I wanted to laugh and cry. She was amazed when she saw your old drawings and your current ones; speechless.

(8) She fell in love, and you know what? Immediatly after, she went to draw. She’s been doing so the past hours. I know this was offensively long, but Viria, I needed to thank you for what you did. Your art has always been SO much more than just digital drawings of fictional characters. It’s been the source of peace, safety and joy that so many of us crave. You have wonderfully impacted and influenced many people across the world with everything you make.

(9) I am so glad you exist and do what you do; you gave me the hobby that grew into my passion, thaught me so much, inspired me beyond belief and most of all, you helped make life more bearable. And now, you have made the same for my sister. Viria, the world wouldn’t be the same without you. You are truly a magnificent light among us, and for your existence and passion I’ll be forever grateful. Thank you, and may you always live the beautiful, happy, awesome life you deserve. Thank you.

I’m not even kidding I was sitting here peacefully chewing sandwich and by the end of these messages the sandwich was too salty so was my cappuccino I swear you got me to tears and now i’m just like

I’m a shaking emotional leaf but thank you so much for writing me! It means so much and i’m so touched and i just wish you and your sister all the best of luck, though it seems like you don’t really need it. Thank you, and I hope life goes wonderfully for you and your family! 

Because we are all emotional right now I felt like it would be a good time to spread some positive vibes when it comes to our beloved Choi Seunghyun. I don’t know how you guys feel about this, but it makes me even sadder when I want to go online and all the news about him are related to the scandel. Which is why I decided to do a little T.O.P. masterpost - starting with pre debute pictures of him being the cutie we all love!

Baby Seunghyun will always be one of the sweetest things on this planet

followed by the time when he started to lose weight and was known as “Tempo” plus his selfie game was 10/10 back then already

I mean look at this smug grin

and I don’t know how you guys feel like, but I have a special place in my hear for this haircut - especially the second picture with the baseball cap! Most people will probably say it was terrible, but I think it suited him 

pulling faces while eating or even talking on the phone to the camera - my aesthetic for sure 

Also, can we talk about this shot? I feel like this is the typical “come on, bro, I need a new profile pic for cyworld - and I wanna look really cool!” - “dude, how about we stick a patch on your cheek an- perfect! Now look at me like you looked at Seungri when he ate your favourite candy!”

oh and speaking of cyworld - last but not least: some of my most favourite pics! (feat. the baby dragon bc those two were the masters of taking stupid selfies)

It’s not much, but I hope you guys at least had to smile a bit. It always warms my heart when I see these pictures. The next masterpost will follow for sure! 

Feel free to add more pictures of him

The Resistance Calendar
Organize. Resist. Repeat.

From my friend Michael Moore:

“GOOD NEWS FRIENDS! I’ve promised you a one-stop site, a clearinghouse of all actions – a RESISTANCE CALENDAR – where you can find EVERY upcoming action, protest, march, sit-in, town hall, anti-Trump, pro-democracy event in all 50 states! A site where YOU can post your own action so all can see it. A place where you can quickly go and check it daily, ensuring that you don’t miss any event in your area to stop the Trump madness.
So, right now, I and a team of graphic designers are launching the RESISTANCE CALENDAR!
Here’s the link: resistancecalendar.org
In addition to you finding events in your area, we want you to be able to post any local actions you’re aware of. So much is happening so fast it’s hard to keep track of all the actions popping up – but our intention is to do just that. Every day. A 24/7 clearinghouse of the already MASSIVE resistance to Trump, to the Republican Congress, and, yes, to many of the spineless Democratic politicians out there. We welcome all resisters across the movement to use this tool. It’s completely free. There’s no big “funder” or group behind it. There will be no ads, no commercialization, no fundraising lists – all the stuff we hate. Just you, me, the volunteers donating their time to keep it going and the World Wide Web. BOOM!
Follow the Resistance Calendar on Facebook at: facebook.com/resistancecalendar
Follow Resistance Calendar on Twitter at @ResistCalendar
Go to our site at www.resistancecalendar.org
When you go on Resistance Calendar, go to the search box and type in your city or state to find events near you. You can also type in keywords to find actions around issues in which you share a concern. Or you can just scroll down and see every upcoming event across the country in chronological order. In the other box you can add events happening in your area. Our team carefully curates the listings to guarantee accuracy.
A note of explanation: As we are still building this site, we will be constantly upgrading it. For instance, it’s going to have a killer map of the US and a big desk-style calendar where you can just click on any day and see what’s happening with the movement across America. We’ll have better and easier filters and other goodies. But for now, I wanted to get this up and let millions know what’s going on in their area.
Many large cities like New York, Seattle and Portland have excellent independent calendars online. My goal has been to have one all-encompassing national calendar covering even the smallest towns and villages. This calendar isn’t meant to replace anything out there that is doing great work, just add to it! A lot of you have asked me to put something like this together, so consider this as a simple contribution to the movement. It is crowdsourced, vetted and belongs to everyone. Let us know if you want to be part of the volunteer tech and curation team!
I sincerely hope this is a huge help and that all of you use it! Sign up on Facebook and Twitter now – and please tell your friends about it. Take a moment to add all the local events you know of. And remember – All hands on deck! It’s the only way we’re going to beat him and lessen the damage he’s doing. Our goal is his removal from office – and the defeat of any politician who isn’t with us. WE ARE THE MAJORITY.
Facebook: facebook.com/resistancecalendar
Twitter: @ResistCalendar

Sneak Pt. 1 [M]

Pairing: Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Graphic smut, this is pure filth, i am not sorry, ceo!namjoon

Word Count: 5.3k

A/N: this shoot had me feeling all sorts of ways. don’t tempt me into making this a series because i very well could lol oops rip me. Also, this is unedited. I will be coming back to it to make edits once I finally sleep

Originally posted by jackjacky5

Part 1 Part 2

You stood behind the podium and stared out into the boardroom. The group of unamused business men clad in suits that costs 6 months of your rent stared back at you. The youthful face of the CEO stood out amongst the wrinkled frowns of everyone else in the room. You tried not to stare, or at least not let him notice you were staring. You had been working for this corporation for 3 months but you still hadn’t gotten used to the idea that Namjoon was your boss. Granted, there weren’t many CEO’s in their 20’s anyway.

But he was handsome. His dirty blonde hair always sat messily upon his head. Thick black framed glasses sat perfectly on his face while two dimples frame the sides of his perfect lips. Not that you had notice his perfect lips to begin with. Namjoon was your boss, a mantra that you had to remind yourself on a daily basis because if it weren’t for that then you would certainly be wanting to get him in the supply closet. But Namjoon was your boss.

Taking a deep breath, you started your presentation. It seemed like all the knowledge your fancy degree had given you went out the window as soon as you started to speak. You weren’t even sure if it was english, but before you knew it you had reached the last slide. Silence filled the room as the men in suits took in the last of your words. “Any questions?” you asked.

There was no response. Just pairs of empty eyes staring back at you. The overwhelming feeling of failure creeped into your bones as you stood awkwardly in place, unsure of what to do. Finally, the grumpiest of all the men raised an eyebrow and started to speak, “How is this relevant to our company? The ideas you are proposing are very provocative, but we don’t run the business this way. It seems a little out of reach, don’t you think?”

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I Know I Want to Be a Sugar Baby...Now What?

What Should You Do Once You’ve Decided to Become a Sugar Baby?

I can remember it like it was yesterday, best friend. I was fresh out of what I would on some days consider my best vanilla relationship and decided I wanted to be a sugar baby. Well, I didn’t decide. The Joker decided for me. “If you’re good at something-never do it for free” That one line changed my life. I googled how to become a sugar baby and found Tumblr. Within an hour of finding Tumblr, I had an SA account. The rest, as they say, was history. 

But, girl, I get it. It’s not like that for everyone. Analysis paralysis. Fear of failure. General confusion. Overwhelm from too much info. It can be a lot. So I’m going to offer you a list of the things I did when I first started sugaring. 

  1. Research! Research, research, research. Duh, I can see you saying. Sis, I can even see you rolling your eyes. I know. Everyone says research, but no one says what you should try to learn or who you should learn from. Let’s tackle the first half of that problem now and the other half in a moment. There are basic things that you want to know. If you decide to sugar online (baby, please don’t), learn how to set up a profile. Learn how to set up a fake phone number whether it’s on Google, WhatsApp, or some other provider. Learn a few things about table manners so that you’re comfortable no matter where you are. Learn how you should dress to blend in with several different types of venues. One of the easiest ways to decide if advice is legit is by consensus. If you see that same advice repeated on Tumblr profile after Tumblr profile after Tumblr page, then it’s probably something you want to commit to memory. But keep in mind that you don’t have to follow every piece of advice that you read- especially the ones that try to tell you what to say word for word. I suggest you avoid those. They most likely won’t work for you.
  2. Figure out EXACTLY why you’re doing this. I spent so much time spinning my tires because I couldn’t figure out what I was doing or why. Know why you’re getting in this game. No really. Sit down and write it out.
  3. Make a business plan. This is a business. Act like it. I’ve already put together 13 questions that will help you develop that plan. It covers everything from what your ideal SD looks like to how you plan to market yourself to how much you should ask for as an allowance (the answer to this is-however the fuck much you want because it’s nobody’s business but yours). Take the time to go through it.
  4. Figure out what makes you uncomfortable about sugaring. What scares you the most? I’d actually like to hear about this one. Send me a list of all the things that scare you about sugaring and while I may not be able to get back to you the same day I promise you I will respond so we can talk about what scares you. BUT DO NOT send me just a list of things that scare you. Send me what you want to do to address those fears too. 
  5. Get ready to freestyle. If you aren’t convinced that it’s for you read this. If you need help on how to freestyle read this.
  6. Go freestyle. Read this. If you’ve already read it, reread it and decide which parts of it you like and which parts you’re going to ignore. It’s your life. My feelings won’t be hurt, and I won’t think you’re a failure if you don’t do everything I say exactly the way I say you should do it. Be safe. Live life in a way that makes you smile. 
  7. Get ready to be rejected. A lot. You will be rejected a lot. You will hear no a lot. You will see white SB’s, Asian SB’s, Latina SB’s make it before you. If you decide to sugar online, please god don’t get on SA, you will see men say that they don’t want you just because of the color of your skin. It will hurt. You will wonder why you bother. But the successful girls? The @brownstatuesquesugarbaby ‘s of the world? They’re the ones that hustled their asses off, celebrated the victories, shrugged off the losses and DID THE WORK. You gotta work bitch.

Speaking of work, I want to leave you with this final note. The women that make it in this world have one thing in common: they are not waiting for someone to do the hard work for them. They are ready to research. They are ready to put in the time and effort. Are they afraid to reach out with their questions? No. But their questions show that they took the time to learn independently instead of expecting things to be spoon fed to them. These are the big leagues, sis, you can build a career or at least jump start one with the money and gifts you get in this lifestyle. Don’t waste your time, don’t waste your big sugar sister’s time, if you don’t want this enough to work for it.

There it is, best friend. As always, I want to know what you think. If you’re just starting out was this helpful? If you’ve been in the game a while, did this sound like what you did when you first started? Let’s talk about it!

A New Beginning Part 2

Summary:  After moving a lot, you found yourself in a small town in the middle of Europe ready for a new start. You see yourself falling in love for the city and developing a crush for the cute stranger that you never had the courage to talk to until you’re forced to. (Modern Au)

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Words: 2492

Warnings: Fluffy like so much fluffy. And Steve with a beard because that should be a warning.

Thanks to @widowsfics for being my beta

Credits to the gifs owners


For the rest of week you saw Steve every morning, he was always waiting for you on the same bench with a cup of coffee and some pastry. You always loved your mornings, you loved the cold weather and how you could just be yourself without having any social interactions.

But since you started to spend your mornings with Steve, you found out that you liked to have someone wishing you good morning every day and caring for if you were going to have a good day,

Steve was still a mystery for you, he flirted and smiled but at the same time he was shy and blushed a lot. You talk too much around him and not because you are nervous but because the way he directs the conversation towards you like he always wants to know more about you.

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I know it’s Christmas and I don’t want to be posting this first thing but…

I couldn’t sleep and I go on Twitter and I see this shit.

And I’m really sad now.

. @thisiseverydayracism @thisiswhiteculture @mixedgirlrants

anonymous asked:

Hello! A big fan on this blog! Was wondering if you could elaborate on how the US military tricks people particularly young people/teenagers into enlisting in the military with the promise of scholarships because I have heard how very often those scholarships never happen. I'm anti military and am not disagreeing or whatever, I would just appreciate examples or links so I can gain better understanding! I don't know if this is your area of expertise but I would appreciate it!

I don’t know if this is really common at other high schools but mine had a whole recruitment section by the cafeteria at our school where guys from military branches would try to recruit and give out information to students. Two of the big things they would basically advertise is that it would help with job experience and pay for college in the future. Both of these are considered lies by most because they’re very misleading statements. 

Here’s some direct info from websites on the subject matter:

Money for college ($71,424 in the bank?). If you expect the military to pay for college, better read the fine print. Among recruits who sign up for the Montgomery GI Bill, 65 percent receive no money for college, and only 15 percent ever receive a college degree. 

The maximum Montgomery GI Bill benefit is $37,224, and even this 37K is hard to get: To join, you must first put in a nonrefundable $1,200 deposit that has to be paid to the military during the first year of service. To receive the $37K, you must also be an active-duty member who has completed at least a three-year service agreement and is attending a four-year college full time. 

Benefits are significantly lower if you are going to school part-time or attending a two-year college. If you receive a less than honorable discharge (as one in four do), leave the military early (as one in three do), or later decide not to go to college, the military will keep your deposit and give you nothing. 

Note: The $71,424 advertised by the Army and $86,000 by the Navy includes benefits from the Army or Navy College Fund, respectively. Fewer than 10 percent of all recruits earn money from the Army College Fund, which is specifically designed to lure recruits into hard-to-fill position

Here’s another on it:

Your College Will Be Paid For!

Yes and no. The MGIB and Post-9/11 GI Bill both go a long way toward paying for college, true. But often what goes unsaid by the recruiter is that you will have to pay $100/mo for your first twelve months of service before qualifying for the Montgomery GI Bill. To qualify for the Post 9/11 GI Bill, certain time in service standards need to be met.

The GI Bill has definitely come a long way, but if a recruiter tries to convince you that it’s “money in your pocket”, don’t buy it. There are pre-requisites, performance standards, and tremendous administration involved. The program is great, and an awesome selling point. But be aware that claiming the GI Bill is a process all its own. Fortunately, while you’re active duty, the Tuition Assistance program pays 100% of tuition fees, but more on that later.

I actually personally know somebody who was in the Army and he actually did qualify for all this and started college over the summer. However, he’s constantly talking about all the ways that it can still be taken away and the things he has to do to meet requirements. He has to attend full time, if he takes online classes he has to make sure he’s taking in-person ones too, and there’s like paperwork requirements - and those are just the ones I know/remember him bringing up. 

Now as far as job training here’s what’s said about that:


Many people join the military expecting to receive job training. But remember, military training is designed for military jobs, not to help you get a civilian job later. Even in the technically-oriented Air Force, most jobs require particular military skills that won’t do you much good in the civilian world.

If you get the training you were promised for a particular military occupation, you still might not get any experience in the job because the military doesn’t have to use you in the field you requested. In the Army survey, 67.2% of enlisted people said they were “dissatisfied” or “very dissatisfied” with their opportunity to select a job, training or duty station of their choice; 71.1% were “dissatisfied” or “very dissatisfied” with their basic pay.

These are just two of the big ones, if you’d like to read the sources from these examples there are most listed. (source) (source) (source)

thank you

So back in April I never got the chance to celebrate my one year for this blog. There ain’t much to celebrate tho since this blog is trash and all I do is worship Wonho’s ass and talk about D 24/7 (I’m so sorry I’m shameless) but I really really wanted to make a post for all the amazing people I’ve met on here, and how much you all mean to me even though I never express any form of compassion or love and majority of the time mask it with insults hahaha

But to those who know me by now should know I do it because I like you and you have a special place in my hitlist ok

Before I start I just want to throw in how much I greatly appreciate everyone that follows my blog. I know I haven’t been active in so long and I haven’t posted a fic in ages and I’m so sorry for that. There’s been some little things here and there that have piled up and it’s taken a toll on me but hey, everyone has some rough bumps in the road and I know this and I know there will be better days, and it has gotten way better. 

For anyone that has dealt with any anxiety or depression or any sense of feeling as though it’s hopeless, I hope you know that you’re strong and you are important and here for a reason and somewhere out there, either near or far there is someone out there who wants you here and who also loves you for who you are. And if at any time you feel alone or find yourself in a tough situation, I want you to know you can always come and talk to me. And I’m not saying that just to say it, I seriously mean it. I do work and I do go to school so it may take some time for me to respond, but don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me. One thing I actually hoped for in this blog when I made it was to help people, because I know that some (but not all) people think of Tumblr as a safe haven, and I could say I made it myself for the sake of running away from my own problems.

And here I am now, drowning myself with pictures of hot kpop guys but also meeting probably the best people I couldn’t have possibly lived without. I know we’re online friends and don’t even know each other in real life, but just know that you’ve all made a huge impact on my life and I really thank you guys. There are people I haven’t talked to much or at all, but I hope at some point in our lives we can talk about something as small as what we had for lunch today or to how big we think Jungkook’s schlong is cuz come on I know we’re all wondering the same fucking thing and I need answers too girl and it could turn out to be a beautiful friendship

Anyways, thank you thank you THANK YOU all so much for following me, giving me a chance, liking my fics, sending a sweet ask, talking to me, thank you all so much. I appreciate every little thing I get on here and I just love everyone and hope you stick around while I’m still glorifying Wonho’s ass every day. 

I’m so sorry for already making it so long but it’s about to get way longer and personal so I’m just going to cut it here so the post won’t get so annoying on everyone’s dash lol

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A Little Reminder;Anyone

Summary: A letter for when you’re at your worst

A/N: someone got a little emo today and this happened- brb got to delete myself

Word count: 1,093


“ To the one who deserves a whole ton of happiness, and a smile on her face.

I know how words can sometimes change nothing at all, as they enter your head aimlessly without much meaning, and leave your ears untouched.

But i also know how much you need these words right now, to assure you that everything will be fine.

And i hope in one way or another, these words will make you feel better, and serves as a daily reminder that you will be fine tomorrow, the day after, and any time in the future.

I know you feel lonely and alone right now. Even with tens or groups of people around you, you feel alone and left out. You have friends, both online and in real life, but yet for some reason, you never feel loved.

And i don’t blame you at all, it’s not your fault.

People tell you that they are going to be there, and they tell you how much you mean to them, but their words don’t match with their actions.

You feel betrayed; you feel lost, and all the emotions deep within start to take over you and your thoughts again. And you hate it.

But once again, i don’t blame you, and you shouldn’t too.

You’re exhausted and worn out, and i know how much you want disappear from this world and never come back again, thinking that nobody would care if you left,

but i do. We all do.

I hope you come to see how much of a wonderful person you are, and i admire how much effort you put into everything you do, whether they are important or not.

You still have so much more to experience and learn from, and i can still sense that tiny bit of eagerness in you, the one of a small child’s.

Your efforts will be paid off, trust me.

I know how setbacks always seem to stop you in your track, and how you would always be too afraid to step up or try again, for the fear of losing again.

But i am here to remind you that i will always be by your side, or eventually, someone will be, pushing you from behind and making sure things go well.

The people around you probably do not say this to you often, and i know how much you need it, so i’m telling you, i see your efforts and your persistence. You’re doing well and always will, keep on going, i’m rooting for you.

I know of how much you need someone by your side right now, to be your listening ear, giving you advice and comfort, and just being there for you. And i know it makes you feel worst having these thoughts while you’re breaking alone, but once again, i’m here to remind you that you’ve already come this far my dear, if no one’s there for you to push you, you have to do it yourself.

Only you have the power to do so.

Maybe people never tell you that they appreciate you enough, which is why you constantly feel as though you’re not good enough for anybody, but i have to say, if people don’t see the good in you or are taking you for granted, it’s their loss. Not yours.

You will always be good enough in this world.

Be good enough for yourself and be someone you’re happy and proud to be.

Darling, if you need some validation on the things you are doing; and if you’re doubting yourself and your abilities, this is a reminder that there are no boundaries on the things you can do and achieve. If you’re doing something that makes you happy, then keep going on, it will be beneficial to you in the future. If you are afraid, and you think you will not do a good job, i’m here to say that there’s no harm in trying, and that you’ll never know of the results without taking that small step out. Even if you do not succeed, it is fine. Just learn, move on and grow.

And maybe all you need right now is some encouraging words, and a little push on your back.

I believe in you and even if no one else tells you this, i believe you will do well. Don’t worry too much.

Things are not always going to this tough, and there will be days you would be enjoying yourself and loving all that you have.

And of course, there will be days where you will fall and break apart, and you just want to rip everything apart.

But i hope on those days you will never give up, especially on yourself. If you are strong enough to overcome previous breakdowns, i believe you will be strong enough to overcome anything that is in your way.

I hope you will constantly remind yourself that you are beautiful, strong, great and that you are important; and i hope you never ever bring yourself down even over the littlest of things.

I hope you come to realise how beautiful the world around you is, even if you don’t see it now; take all the time you need to see all of these, no one is rushing you. You do what’s best for you.

I hope one day i’ll be able to see that bright smile on your face again, without a single worry at the back of your mind as you do the things you love, with the people who love and appreciate you around you.

I hope whenever you start to doubt yourself again or when you feel all alone, you will let positive thoughts take over you instead of negative ones.

Although i know my words won’t help you much, i hope you can feel my sincerity and meanings i am trying to convey, even if it did not enter your mind a single bit.

Once again, i don’t blame you if you can’t believe or trust anything right now.

But one thing i do wish is that you will put aside all your worries and stress for once, and focus on yourself. Give yourself all the rest and love you need; those that you’ve been ignoring for the longest of times.

Never, ever, feel bad for spending time on yourself.

I really hope you will be happy again soon.

Last but not least, this is a reminder that i love you, and i always will do.

I am thankful for your existence.

We all are. ”

We All Fall Down - Seven

Over the next few days you sunk back into old habits. The first morning after the funeral you awoke to find the house empty. Not even a note from Spencer telling you where he had gone. You couldn’t text him, you’d smashed your cell a while ago in frustration, never bothering to replace it, and there was no landline in the house either. You pottered around, opening doors to the rooms upstairs and discovering that Spencer was sleeping in what must have been Henry’s room for when he stayed over. His bags were in there and the bed clothes on the child sized bed were slept in.

You wondered why, having observed that was another guest bedroom which you had passed by. When you went back to check it out though, it became apparent that mattress was shot to pieces. Anyone sleeping on that bed would need a trip to the chiropractors. The bed did seem slept in though that led you to believe that he must have at least attempted this room first. During your wanderings you located the master bedroom. You could see that Diana must have emptied a good portion of her belongings out already, or perhaps Jennifer and Will had. Every surface though was still littered with pill bottles, dressings, cream. Some names you recognised as painkillers and muscle relaxants, codeine, diazapan, tramadol. Others you’d never heard of before, tarceva, sunitinab. Next to one side of the bed was a drip stand, an empty saline bag still hanging there. There was an odd smell to the room too, something you couldn’t quite place. If you looked beyond the mess, the room was huge and although one side of the bed looked raised (pressure pads added to the mattress you discovered), you’d bet that if the sheets were changed and the room aired out, it would make for a loverly room. Given its current state though, you could see why Spencer had chosen Henry’s room.

You took in the downstairs, room by room. A large kitchen which you’d seen already with a casual dining area. A grand looking dining room which looked like it hadn’t been used in years. A large sitting room with beautiful window seats which in a different life, you could have imagined yourself loving. There was a study that doubled up as a library, works by both William and Spencer Reid adorning the shelves along with the classics. And there was another study room, a tiny area with medical texts stacked on overflowing shelves, Diana’s study you assumed.

After realising that you couldn’t exactly leave the house as you couldn’t even find a set of keys to lock up, you wandered back to the kitchen. Although the fridge had been stocked by Jennifer it was with basics only. Butter, milk, a few packets of deli meat. There was still bread that was in date and you located a pantry with a large chest freezer of which the contents had frozen over so badly you couldn’t ever chip a packet out to see what it contained. There were also some tins and jars lining the dusty shelves, their expiration dates past. The only thing of real interest that you found was a wine rack. Not finding anything better to do with your day, you grabbed a bottle and took it back to the sitting room, flicking on the TV and channel surfing until you found a cooking show marathon.

You slept on and off, curled up on the sofa and trying to ignore the noises of the house settling. After draining one bottle, you went and made yourself a sandwich, it barely registering that there wasn’t anything for Spencer to eat when he came home. Grabbing another bottle you retreated to your spot on the sofa, remaining there until around 9pm. With no sign of your husband returning, you took yourself off to bed, crashing until the morning.

The next day you repeated your actions, finding the house empty again. You knew Spencer had been home, you’d poked your head into Henry’s bedroom, seeing the sheets in a different position to the day before. When you entered the kitchen, there were empty take out cartons on the counter. A piece of paper was taped across the two empty bottles you’d deposited on the counter top last night.

“The moving company are bringing our things today. Be sober enough to let them in. The front door opens on a yale lock.”

So you could open it from the inside but if you let it shut and you were on the other side of the door, you couldn’t get back in. If this wasn’t his parents house, you’d have thought he’d had that type of lock installed on purpose. Still, at least you could open it. Upon discovering that the back door was also the same sort of lock, you pulled back the dead bolts, jammed the door open with a chair and ventured outside. The garden would have once been beautiful but was now overgrown and unkept. Diana had had her hands full with other things. Locating the garbage bins, you disposed of the wine bottles and take out containers and went back inside, taking up your spot on the couch. After around an hour of yet another reality show marathon, you heard the tell tale sign of a large vehicle pulling up, and moments later a door bell you didn’t even know was there, sounded.

The movers made quick work of unloading box after box into the hallway and sitting room, stacking them against the walls. You felt bad, wanting to offer them a drink or something, but the milk was out of date as of this morning and you didn’t think they’d take kindly to being offered wine. You couldn’t even tip them, Spencer hadn’t left you any cash. After they left you sighed, surveying the mountains of boxes, not having the first clue what to do with them. Spotting a few labelled as your room, you carefully carried them up to the room you had been sleeping in, stashing them in a corner. You ignored the rest, not wanting to risk doing something to upset Spencer further. At least it was just boxes and not furniture, Spencer had sold the New York apartment fully furnished. Your stomach rumbled and you went in search of something to eat. You lucked upon a jar of honey, remembering that Spencer had once told you that it was the only first that never expired. It had crystallised slightly but that somehow made it tastier. Toasting some slightly stale but definitely not moldy bread, you sat and ate honey on toast.  Afterwards you wandered around downstairs, spotting a wooden cabinet in the dining room which upon opening its doors, rewarded you with a choice of rum, whisky, gin, vodka, some deep copper coloured liquid which had lost its label which you suspected to be brandy, and some tequila. You settled on the gin, not realising you had left the cabinet doors open. Scrawling “food?” on a piece of paper and taping it to the fridge, you took the gin to bed. You glugged down a good portion of the bottle, wincing at the taste before climbing into bed and falling into that altered reality of not quite being asleep but not quite being awake.

The next morning was different. When you peeled your eyes open there was a note taped to the inside of the bedroom door.

“I’ll bring food home later. Make yourself useful instead of draining my mother’s liquor cabinet and actually start unpacking. Oh, and this room reeks. Have you even showered recently?”

You sniffed the air, wrinkling up your nose when you realised he was right. But what was the point in showering when you had nowhere to go. And how were you meant to unpack when you didn’t have the first clue where anything was to go?

The doorbell sounding pulled you put of your wonderings and you make your way downstairs, peering through the peephole and seeing your neighbour, Emily. As much as you wanted to ignore her you didn’t feel able to. You pulled open the door, hoping she wouldn’t judge too much.

“Hey Y/N! So I catered for a party last night and made way too much food. I always used to bring the leftovers here for Diana so I thought maybe you’d appreciate them instead? I know how it is moving house and stuff.”

She held out a foiled covered tray and your stomach literally growled with delight.

“Can I come in for a sec?”

You moved to one side and let her in. She didn’t even try to hide her curiosity, her eyes raking over the boxes lining the halls.

“Lots to do eh?”

You nodded. “I don’t even really know where to begin either.”

“Well when Tara and I moved, we started with the bedrooms,” she offered, looking around still.

“I would but… Well the master bedroom is still full of medical equipment and stuff. I don’t know what to do with it.”

“Give Diana a call and ask her. She’ll probably arrange for it to be taken to a free clinic or somewhere where they can get some use out of it. She wouldn’t want things like that to be wasted but I can understand why she’s not been back to do it herself. Still, thought JJ might have come to give you a hand.”

“I would call her but I erm…. I don’t have her number,” you shuffled your feet awkwardly. “Or a phone. I broke mine a while ago and have made do without. And there doesn’t appear to be a landline.”

The truth was that you’d smashed it up yourself after your last interaction with Derek. And since then you just hadn’t bothered. It had suprised you how easily you’d come to live without it. There were days when you’d have spent hours online, watching shows or just clicking through articles on the internet. Now you spent hours staring at the ceiling.

“You don’t have a cell? Jesus Christ, I don’t know how I’d even live without mine,” Emily pulled out her phone and started scrolling through her contacts. “I’ll call Diana though.”

You started to protest, “Wait! It’s fine! You don’t have to,” but she already had the phone to her ear. You waited, listening to the one sided conversation.

“Hey Diana, how you doing?….. Yes thank you, yup….yup. Hahaha… You betcha I will….. Listen, I’m at the house with Y/N and the poor thing is surrounded by boxes with nowhere to put them…. Yeah…. Yeah… Yup, she mentioned the master bedroom too…. That’s what I thought. No, it’s cool, I’ll tell her…. No it’s fine! Don’t you worry…. I’ll talk to you soon. Bye!”

She disconnected the call and turned to face you. “She says that she’s very sorry she hasn’t been around to see you here yet or to help out, but to box any of her and William’s things up and make yourself at home. She said that if you bring all the medicine and equipment diwnstairs, she’ll arrange for JJ or Will to pick it up. Anything else you can stash in the attic, and that’s there’s some empty storage boxes in the closet in the smaller guest room. So basically, have at it.”

So now you had no real excuse to not begin. Emily stepped a little closer, her nose wrinkling up slightly.

“What’s that I can smell?”

Your cheeks flamed red. “I erm… It’s me, I think.” You thought quickly, seeing her eyes widen slightly. “I’ve not very well over the last few days so I’ve mainly been sleeping. I haven’t really had chance to clean up.”

“Oh! Is everything okay? I can call Tara and get her to call around this evening? It’s no bother.”

“No!” a little too loudly. “No, honestly Emily. It’s fine. It’s just migraines. I get them quite often.” So apparently even you were using Spencer’s lie.

She still looked a little concerned but dropped it. “Okay, well if you’re sure… I gotta be going anyway. I’ll pop back in the next few days, give you a hand with things. See ya soon!”

You didn’t get chance to protest, she was gone as quickly as she’d arrived.

You took a deep breath, ignoring the scent of yourself. You’d bathe later. Now, apparently you had a job to do.

You worked for hours, after devouring half of the tray of food Emily had bought over first. That woman sure could cook, and the little cupcakes that she’d included were to die for. After fueling up and locating the storage boxes, black garbage sacks, and a linen closet, you decided that you would attempt to do some thing nice for a change. It couldn’t be comfortable for a 6ft 1 man to be sleeping on a bed made for a child so you decided to try to make the master bedroom habitable. You threw the windows in the room wide open at first and then set about striping the bed, folding the pressure pads down as small as you could and stashing them in a box, and then stripping the bed. You completely emptied out two of the chests of drawers, folding up any clothes you found and bagging any dressings and creams separately. It was weird going through his parents drawers, not that you were when particularly looking at anything, just moving item from one place, to a storage container. You spent a good hour just on the closet alone, carefully folding expensive looking suits and wondering what Diana was going to do with William’s things. Perhaps she’d donate them to charity?

After taking a small breather, you started hauling box by box downstairs, grabbing one of the boxes labelled with Spencer on them, each time you returned upstairs. Your arms were going to ache terribly tomorrow but you actually felt like you were being useful and that sparked a tiny piece of happiness inside you. You located a vacuum and duster, giving the room a once over a removing the good few layers of dust that was clouding the air. Finally, you flipped the mattress and remade the bed, thinking that if Spencer didn’t want the room perhaps you could have it? Spotting a few more pill bottles that had slipped between the bed and the cabinets at its side, you picked them up and took them downstairs, placing them in front of the box of medication you put together. One was almost empty, it’s cap falling off as you settled it down.

By now, it was getting late and you felt achey and grimey. You grabbed a quick glass from the kitchen, filling it with the last inch or two of whisky from the liqueur cabinet and snagged another cupcake. You left the now empty bottle out on the table with the boxes from upstairs. You’d take it out to the trash tomorrow.

Searching out a fluffy towel and some bath salts from one of your own boxes, you drew yourself a hot bath, settling in and relaxing when it was ready.

The water pipes in the house were old, still clunking away as you closed the your eyes and inhaled the sweet smell of the bath salts, feeling the hot water soothing your aching body. Slowly you inched further and further under the water, until just your nose was peaking out from underneath the surface, allowing you to breathe as the water encased you. You barely heard the slamming of the front door downstairs, or Spencer calling out your name.

Spencer arrived home earlier than the last two nights, bringing two large bags of groceries in with him. You were right, you did need food. He was pleasantly surprised to see that some of the boxes that adorned the hallway yesterday had been moved, even more suprised when he passed the dining room to see boxes and boxes laid out on the table, him recognising them as things from his parents room.

He felt a surge of anger. How dare you start packing up that room? He was considering doing it himself, the bed in Henry’s room wasn’t suitable for an adult at all and he was spending hours tossing and turning each night. But that fact that you had taken it upon yourself to start removing things from that room? Without consulting him? No.

It was then he spied the empty bottle of whisky, sat directly next to an almost empty bottle of pills. A rush of panic coursed through his brain as he saw the label. Tramodol - 100 tablets. He called your name, once, twice and then three times, each one louder than the last. Realising he could hear the water pipes, he bounded up the stairs heading for the bathroom attached to your bedroom.

“Y/N! Oh god, Y/N! What have you done! Oh fuck!” He knew he’d been terrible to you recently, you’d been a terrible to each other really. But he’d just abandoned you in a new town, with no way of contacting anyone, or any way of leaving the house. He hadn’t thought you’d do this though, that you’d be so desperate for a way out of it all.

You hadn’t locked the bathroom door, not seeing any reason to. When Spencer flung it open he was greeted with the sight of his beautiful wife, her eyes closed and her body completely submerged under the water.

Love Triumphs Chapter 23: Tough Love

Jared Padalecki x Reader

1150 Words

Story Summary: AU (I love Gen, and love her with Jared.) Jared and Gen have split up, but are still friendly. You, the Reader have recently started acting on Supernatural, and have fallen in love with Jared. Both of you get hate due to the fact that you are much younger than he is.

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

Sitting there with both boys, your mind was on the stage, and what Gen and Jared were telling the audience. In a way, you hated the fact that it had come to this, that Gen was coming to your rescue. But maybe, finally, this would get taken care of, and you would finally be able to be happy with Jared. To see what a relationship with him would be like without the disapproval of the fans hanging over your head.

“Y/N, I’ve got these little munchkins. Why don’t you head out there, see what’s going on?” Rob said, pulling you from your spot on the couch, before plopping down where you had just been sitting.

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Fuck coworkers

I work at a call center for healthcare.websomthing (yes, you can call it somethingcare) and honestly, getting yelled at all day doesn’t bother me but my fucking coworkers piss me off. This place is worse than Highschool. The head security guard asked my pregnant friend out on a date(at least a 30 year age gap) and yesterday I had a guy hit on me while waiting on a call from his girlfriend. There’s also a rule that we’re not allowed in each other’s pod, for security reasons, and my supervisor saw him sit down next to me and try to get my number WHILE i was helping a consumer fill out an application online. I told my supervisor what happened and he knows to watch out now but what the fuck is this?? I could hardly help the poor old man I was on the phone with because the guy was tapping my shoulder and trying to talk!! It’s only month one here and im already sick of this shit. I got treated better in retail and even then i was treated like a human.

I need y’alls help!

Winter is coming up, which means it is gonna be brumation time for Sparx! He has one hide, but it is underneath his basking spot so it is incredibly warm. I want to give him a second hide on the cold side so he has a choice on where he wants to brumate. But here is my issue, Sparx is INCREDIBLY picky on his hides. I have tried a ton of different ones, and he will only use this one:

(This loose substrate is safe, as it is bioactive and fully passable)
I cannot, for the life of me, find this hide ANYWHERE. I even tried similar looking ones and he won’t use them. 
So now, I am asking you guys if you happen to stumble upon where I can buy one of these, please let me know! Amazon, ebay, petco website, anything! I’ve searched everywhere I can think of online but I just. Can’t find it XD
So yeah if y’all see it please let me know!

In Over Their Heads

A Yuri on Ice Fanfic
Written for @seungchuchuweek

Sara laughed at him for three minutes straight. And, yes, he did time it. She tried to say something twice, and both times collapsed back into laughter.

“Honestly, I can’t take it. My sides hurt.” She finally gasped out.

“It isn’t funny.”

“Seung Gil, it is sooo funny, you don’t even know.”

“It’s your fault.”

“I said “or you could be a coward and say you are with someone.” The first half of my advice was “Tell her you aren’t interested.” So clearly it’s yours.“

“I tried your first advice. She insisted she could change whatever I didn’t like, including getting plastic surgery.” Seung Gil scowled. Sara was skating that night, so dumping his problems on her probably wasn’t fair. Seeing as she seemed so amused, though, he didn’t feel the least bit guilty.

Sara wrinkled her nose. “Well, that does sound a bit creepy. So you told her you were engaged, though? I mean, couldn’t you have just said dating?”

“I said I was with someone and she demanded to know if we were serious. Any hint otherwise seemed likely to make the whole confrontation pointless.”

“Okay, so she posts her heartbreak online where, of course, it goes viral.”

“My coach called me at 4 am, Sara. 4 am. She didn’t even wait til practice.”

“Yikes…” Sara grimaced. “Okay, so now it’s all over the web, and the reporters are starting to drop hints because they want to break the story. Except there is no story.”


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Social media sites the P5 cast use

This is short but I write it at midnight cause I couldn’t sleep! ENJOY THIS FROM SLEEP DEPRIVED GEORGIA!))

•he’s a Twitter boy
•I mean come on, isn’t that much obvious
•it’s the perfect way to keep track on everyone
•AKA he trolls politicians 24/7 seven days a week

•he uses discord and Instagram a lot
•Instagram is mostly selfies and dumb as photos of him and the gang doing dumb ass things while he uses discord for group chats
•Ryuji stop posting gym selfies
•Ryuji stop post yourself doing somewhat illegal stuff online

•kind of obvious, she had quiet the following on Instagram
•total makeup and model account
•every photo is perfect and all the captions have emojis and like twenty hashtags
•Starbucks, flowers and selfies

•honestly hardly uses any social medias, he has them but he’s barely on it
•I could see him having an art blog on tumblr
•he just posts his paintings up on his blog and just ignores the post from there on
•doesn’t even realise he has over 10,000 followers

•she is like a mother on Facebook and just post those positive quotes/memes
•you know the ones on the mum Facebook where minions seem to be on unrelated ‘funny’ memes
•yeah she posts that

•reddit and 4chan
•I mean really? Did you expect anything less?
•Futaba doesn’t play on the internet. She plays the internet

•Tumblr as well
•all pastel and flower aesthetic
•may use Instagram for the same reason every now and again
•she so pure online

•Twitter for his 'fanbase’ he’ll try and post daily to keep his fans happy
•he does enjoy it but it gets tiring after awhile
•but he spends most of his time on reddit
•he can spend ours on there just scrolling

•he has an account in every single site
•his user name always revolves around the phantom thieves
•please stop this poor baby, he’s trying to hard to be a phantom
•just let him join guys

anonymous asked:

where's the dress

Hi. This is the behind the picture of the dress that was released (I think) from a Chinese Magazine (from my understanding) today or recently. 

It has the whole fandom confused. I’m just going to write out my thoughts and the theories floating around right now. 

Alternate Enchantress ending’ This I think is the most likely. From what my friends on here have heard, there was an alternate Enchantress ending where one of them was going to be what we saw in the movie, non-Joker and non-Harley get married and have kids. And the second version, which we didn’t see, was a Joker and Harley ‘happy’ ending where they get married. This all seems to check right? Well it doesn’t check off the bruise on her face. 

Did they get married after the chemical wedding scene?’ Possibly. But look at what she’s wearing around her neck and her tattoo. Yes, it’s possible that Joker gave her all these things as gifts right after the chemical wedding but… idk that doesn’t seem… you know? 

Her hair is like that at the end of the movie!!’ Yes, her hair is like that at the end of the movie, but again that doesn’t explain why there’s a huge bruise on her face. She didn’t have one at the end of Suicide Squad. I know Joker is unpredictable but something tells me he didn’t punch her in the face after their sweet reunion. Again, I don’t think so because from all the spoilers that leaked online from early screenings, the ending was always the same as the one we got. I mean the most difference I saw was some people said Joker and Harley kissed in the cage at the end but that is the only ‘change’ and I can’t even confirm if that kiss is true. 

Alternate dancing scene?’ This is the theory that I like the best right now, and is the most probable to me. That Harley was supposed to be wearing this dress in that mini montage scene after Joker does ECT on her. Maybe they scrapped the dress to put her in the original harlequin costume. But STILL THAT DOESN’T EXPLAIN THE BRUISE. HELP. I LIKE LOGIC. I DON’T LIKE TO BE LEFT IN THE DARK, DAVID AYER!

In conclusion, I don’t think they are legit married. Because that’s way too much commitment for the studio in the first movie out. Maybe WB realized this and told David Ayer to scrap the scene and never speak of it again lol.