i know its ugly but i did my best

Illusion {Requested}

Originally posted by renatitinhaa


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Requested by: Anonymous


“Ma’m you need to get the hospital as soon as possible it’s about your husband” The woman on the phone rushed out barely giving you time to process what was happening. “I’m sorry what did you say” You asked “Your husband in the hospital he’s in critical condition you need to get here as soon as possible” The woman slowed her words and she hung up. 


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Smile. (Jimin)

It took me five minutes to get down 10 stairs cases and there was only one reason. My mom called for me…at 3 am in the morning. When she came home from the hospital where she’s working. Usually she would just let me sleep and talk to me the next day if it was something serious, but the tone she used when she called for
me would make you shiver.Even ghost hunters would get goosebumbs.

I finally reached the end of the staircase, and right there stood my mom, her arms crossed and a letter in her hands.

Shoot, I forgot to collect the mail! I mentally face palmed myself. But then something hit me. I didn’t do anything wrong? Not that I can recall. So what could it be. I could tell it was from the school cause our school logo was on the envelope.

“Hey mom.”

“What is this?” She asks, in a serious tone.

“‘Mom, I don’t know. I don’t know what that is. You’re the one with the letter in your hands, why don’t you tell me?” I question here not really wanting to argue with her at 3am.

My mom was a very independent woman. She wouldn’t let a man or anyone for that matter bring her down or any of her opinions. She’s very strict as well, leading to me not really being able to open up for her. The longest conversation I’ve had with her, would be an hour or two. And that was that one time I ditched math class because someone had spilled hot soup all over my lap.

She twisted my words and made it look like I was at fault, so I quickly shut up and made sure no words would escape my mouth, because I knew if they did, they wouldn’t be that pleasant.

When it comes to school, there’s no excuses with my mom. The only reason my grades are excellent is because of her. She thought me, by making me study until I understood it, even if I pull up and all nighter. I’d get grounded if I ever got something lower than B+, and even with a flu and fever, she would force me to school.

“Don’t talk to me like that! and don’t act stupid, you know God damn well what this is.” She says, accusing me once again.

When I don’t reply, she throws the paper on the floor. She waits for me to pick it up, and once I do I’m shocked when I see what’s written on the paper.

“Cheating?”

“You cheated on your test.”

“Mom, I swear to god, I did not cheat.”

“Then why did we get a letter from your school saying you did.”

I re-read the letter more than five times still not understanding where all this came from. I can solemnly swear that I did not cheat on that test. I even pulled an all nighter to do my best on this test, since it was the last test for this semester that had its own grade on my report card.

“Mom I don’t know. They might’ve messed up-”

“It’s because of that boy, Jimin. I told you he was bad influence, he’s just strolling around in town with his ugly poor cloth-”

All of the ugly words she’s spitting about my one and only best friend, makes me squeeze my fist harder almost making my nails cut my hand. “Don’t. Talk. About. Him. Like.That.” I say through clenched teeth.

“I’m doing this for you, y/n. I’m telling you to stop hanging with him.” She says, in all seriousness. I grab my jacket from the hanger and quickly put it on while slipping into my vans.

“You have no absolute right to tell me who I can hang with. You might be labeled as mom, but in my eyes, you’re not all that. Thanks, and bye.” I say exiting the house.

“Come back here this instant young lady.” I hear my mom say before I close the door. I breath in the cold March air, and starts walking to who knows where.

I didn’t know where I was gonna go, but I walked to where my feet lead me. The streets were pretty much empty at 3am, and the only source of lights where from the remaining cars and the street lamps. My feet stopped walking when I arrived at the park, next to Jimin’s house.

“He’s probably sleeping, but it’s worth a try.” I say as I dial his number. It signs four times before someone answers.

“Hello?” He says sounding confused as to why someone was calling him at 4am.

“Jimin.”

“Hey you.” He says softer recognizing my voice. “Did I wake you up?”

“Nah, I’m watching a movie.”

“Uh…Jimin…Can-”

“Are you at the park?” He questions.

“How did you know?”

“I’ll be there in five.” He says before the line goes dead. A smile creeps to my lips at this.

Not only five minutes later, I spot a boy in his black hoodie and grey sweatpants walking towards me. He looks at me before taking the seat next to me.

“What happened this time?” He asks.

“I got a letter from the school, and they accused me for cheating. She told me you were bad influence and that I was stupid, I told her she didn’t feel like my mom - and I didn’t cheat Jimin, I swear, I-”

“I know you didn’t y/n.” Jimin cuts me off. He scoot to the right so he’s facing me. “Listen y/n. I’m sure you didn’t cheat. I’m sure there was something wrong that happened in the system.”

“What if it wasn’t?” I question him, clutching my hand. Jimin zips down his hoodie and wrap it around me. He then takes my hand in his and starts blowing on them to warm them up, like the sweet guy he is.

He’s cheek was red from the cold, and his hair was messy, but he still managed to look good which I envied a lot. “If it wasn’t, then you can take the test again and prove them again that you didn’t cheat. They’ll have to apologize to both you and your mom, and you can prove your mom that you didn’t cheat and that she was wrong.”

“But, Jimin, she said-”

“I know what’s she said about me, but she’s still your mom y/n. She still gave birth to you, she still have you live with her for free, she still cares for you - just a little more than other mothers I guess. She sees you as your daughter and you should see her as your mom. Prove her wrong, and she’ll understand you. Atleast you have a mom, I don’t even know where mine is.” He says stroking my hair. I feel
guilty for always being rude to my mom, when someone like him doesn’t even have one.

“You only have one mom. And always remember. There’s always a solution for every problem. If you and your mom has problems, find a solution to it. You’ll be alright, I know you will.”

He grabs my hands and put them in the pocket of his sweater that he wore underneath his hoodie, (it has pockets on it), and puts his thumbs on each side of my lips and force them upwards.

“Now smile. Seeing you sad makes me sad. I want to see you smile.” He sends me one of his heartwarming smiles and that’s when I jump into his embrace and hugs him so tight, obviously catching him off guard as a little “ompfh” escapes his lips.

anonymous asked:

u know what u did? ur culturally appropiating and mysoginistic and u make rape jokes. and i know ur never gonna answer this because it's true. so thats what it is.

that was in the past and i have apologized for those jokes and i regret them completely i have grown as a person and i do not make them any more and i try my fucking best to stop,so why the fuck do i deserve to get called fat and ugly 24/7 i am a fucking person too i have fucking feelings and i am the only person in this band who gets called those things you dont know how much it hurts,i cry my fucking eyes out all the fucking time because of what i get called,just like right now.

anonymous asked:

I think you are a cute, funny and awesome person, but why do you photoshop your face sooooo much? Like, its really obvious, your face (almost) never have creases, wrinkles, or expression lines. Maybe you should try to make it a little bit more natural...? Its just an opinion, and I am in no way telling you what to do!! its your pictures after all. You don't have to publish this message, btw, i dont care for an answer. Just a friendly opinion!

I know you think that, but honestly, besides on lolita pics, I DON’T really remove wrinkles so much. I adjust light a lot and I DO shop my ugly nose and my butt, but often, when people think I did shop away wrinkles it’s photos which I edited the least. I just cover myself in tons and tons of make of most of the time. 

for example THIS was NOT edited whatsoever.

it’s not the best photo, but you get what I mean? there isn’t really much to remove. 

When it comes to lolita photos I want a very pastelish look to the photos so I edit out big ugly shadows, but mostly it’s really ook. I remove a scar on my head, fix my nose and maybe a dark shadow under my eye and that’s about it. 

mmmh. maybe I can find a photo from somebody else not edited by me…here you go:

as you can see it’s not so different from my own edits, for example this one:

I didn’t even touch my face, I just made the whole thing lighter and pushed my very huge wrinkled cardigan-sleeves a little nearer to my body. 

after color re-touch.

and before color re-touch:

there is not much going on with editing stuff.

I try to stay as transparent about my use of PS as I can, but sometimes people just assume too much when there was just good light, lots of make up and minor wrinkle removement.

I hope that helped?! at least a little? for the lolita pics?!

FOR LOKI I love to just let my wrinkle wrinkle all over the place XD because he is a grumpy god! eheheh.