i know its shit dont touch me

Ghost Hunters AU

Okay so this is a really stupid headcanon AU shit that probably isn’t original but fuck it. They dont own a show, its lik, a srupid youtube series or something.

LANCE:
-He’s the dude who’s always in the frame, ya know?
-Hes the most charismatic and camera friendly guy (he slowly gets better as time goes on)
-Usually the one to be like “dude, a ghost just touched my ass…YO ANY LADY GHOSTS FEEL FREE TO TOUCH ME ;)” sometimes it works and he screams
-VERY dramatic
-Like im talking dramatic pauses, overhyping a location, stops talking to the camera to stop and be like “i feel…..a presence…” even if he doesn’t
-He truely believes in ghosts and is always low-key scared thats why he never is alone

HUNK:
-OH HE DOES NOT WANNA BE THERE
-But he has to because these kids will do some DUMB SHIT if there isnt someone with the slightest sense of common sense
-He never leaves lance’s or pidge’s side (both are secretly grateful)
-whenever there is an “angry spirit” he somehow never has a stratch, even if everyone else has one
-he usually brings treats he baked or something, he eats them during quiet moments and it freaks everyone out someone:“shhhh…..what is that..noise……..m” hunk: “*snack crunches* oh..was that me, whoops”
-whenever he has to talk to the ghosts its usually very polite like “hello! Uh, how…how are you?”
-usually the one who has to find keith when he wanders off, he hates doing that.
-Whenever he knows Pidge is getting a little scared he sticks close to her

KEITH:
-Oh my god this kid, needs a fucking leash.
-He wanders off with a recorder and goes to the most “haunted” area and just starts talking
-Oh hes terrified but he loves this shit
-Whenever he comes back from wandering off everyone’s like “WHERE??? DID YOU GO??!?” hes always confused why they were scared, “i was literally like two rooms down, with the door open.”
-Very camera shy, lance kinda has to keep him close for him not to wander
-gets a lot of creepy recordings when hes alone
-Ghosts LOVE to leave scratches on his back and shit, he sees these as badges of honor or something and everyone else is like “dude please, go get an exorcism.”

PIDGE:
-Camera man, obviously.
-Makes snarky remarks towards lance, jokingly of course, for laughs
-Almost always the first to notice is Keith is missing. “Keith is gone…………*sigh* again”
-She doesn’t do much outside of camera work and enhancing audio and shit
-Is secretly always terrified and sometimes you can hear it in her voice, it quivers slightly, and Hunk doesnt leave her side, she is ALWAYS grateful and thanks him off-camera
-sometimes when shes brave she’ll go into to small places
-working to give keith his own cheap camera so they can get some footage of him being him

SHIRO:
-He isnt a big ghost fan, he comes as like “speical guest shiro, a.k.a our ride”
-He helps edit the videos with pidge, just to help.
-He is the Ghost Gang's™ ride (unofficial name that everyone hates but no one changes)
-Sometimes he packs little lunches for them, like oranges and granola bars and water bottles
-When is there he’s by lance’s side because lance wants to show off their cool friend on camera
-Easliy jumpy
-“where’s keith?” “Oh he wanders off a lot” “Why do you let him??? He could be im danger??!” (Keith is always fine)

ALLURA:
-number 1 fan
-she tried to go on the show once but got a little spooked
-made the mistake of wandering off with keith
-She always recommends their videos to other friends
-when she does agree to go with them she’s also very polite with the ghosts
-lance also shows her off just as much as shiro

CORAN:
-He is the gangs FAVORITE guest appearance, because the weirdest shit always happens with him
-they forget theyre huntinf ghosts with him because nothing wrong can go wrong with coran
-sometimes he’ll wander with keith, but he likes talking to the camera with lance so its not often
-can get scarily serious and tell a chilling tale of the house or location they’re at, then immediately is super chipper and is skipping the halls while everyone is shitting themselves


The gang once did an episode with EVERYONE there and it was a hot mess but its their most viewed video so they plan to do those every so often

people from like, before ballpoint pens n shit (when they were using feathers to write) would TOTALLY see today’s straws and make them into pens like are you fucking kidding me??? theyd be like, “holy fuck, a somewhat flexible tubular thin thing. i guess this means i dont have to TEMPER my QUILLS anymore.”

like do you know how revolutionary just a disposable plastic straw would be to those people? do you know what you have to do to a feather to make it usable? like yeah you have to carve it into a nib n shit but even BEFORE you TOUCH your knife, you have to temper that shit. its basically sticking the feather in hot sand and waiting around for awhile for some chemistry shit to happen. like a few hours.

and then you have to get all that fluffy shit off the tip, and then you gotta carve it. and you gotta be really heckin careful you dont fuck up, because hell, you just waited three hours for this fucking feather, there’s no way youre doing that again.

but with STRAWS?? first of all, you can get identical ones, unlike with feathers. also they come in different colours and widths and shit. and you dont have to wait three hours for them to be usable.

basically im saying theres nothing inherently less legitimate about making a quill pen out of a straw. the long-dead would have done it, so you can too. just do it. it costs like zero money, so if youre considering getting into calligraphy, you may as well make your own nib outta a straw instead of spending $$ on a store made one.

also, life hack for the ink: get some bubble solution and put food coloring in it. there. youre cool. youre writing with a straw now. thats cool.

there’s mine ^

disney patting itself on the back for LGBTQ representation by confirming Lefou gay in canon (when he was already blatantly coded that way as a “butt of the joke”) is the grossest thing and it irritates me so much. And this isn’t gonna be a disney hate post cause as yall know I love disney so much and specifically beauty and the beast means the world to me which gives me 10x more reason to be angry about it. its just so disgustingly disrespectful that theyre acting high and mighty about making a queer-coded comic relief villian character literally named “the fool”“ gay, when keeping in mind that beauty and the beast was so heavily influenced by howard ashman and his experiences and would be not be the gorgeous classic we love if it wasnt for him. howard ashman was the amazing lyricist for the movie (as well as the little mermaid, aladdin…) and was also a gay man who died of AIDS. so it just makes me disgusted to see headlines referencing ashman about disneys ~first openly gay (side character~ like "The Touching Tribute Behind Disneys First Openly Gay Character!” and “Beauty and the Beast has First Openly Gay Character as Director Calls Story ‘a Metaphor for AIDS’. like its so annoying to see disney and others acting like they give a shit about AIDS and gay people like if you really cared why didnt you make the central story gay or at the very least non-villain characters like a gay lady piano or some crap I dont fucking know? my end point is that disney doesnt care about LGBTQ people other than them giving them money and to me its annoying at best and disrespectful to howard ashmans legacy to act like theyre being progressive with this story.

There's something about Mary 12.21 Rant

I honestly can’t even put into words how angry I am at tonight’s episode. I’ve been mad at episodes b4 but this literally pissed me off so much that I don’t even know if I’ll continue like. I just fucking can’t. I honestly am baffled with the way the fucking dumbass writers handled
Crowley’s character. Like??? Are you foreal?


THEY MAKE CROWLEY LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE DUMBASS AND I SWEAR TONIGHTS EPISODE HIT A NERVE IF CROWLEY TURNS OUT TO BE DEAD THAT WILL BE THE END OF THE SHOW FOR ME!! I WILL REFUSE TO WATCH WHEN THEY KEEP KILLING OFF EVERY AMAZING CHARACTER!!!! FIRST FUCKING EILEEN THEN CROWLEY LIKE ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS????!!!!!

THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING CHARACTERS AND YOU FUCKING KILLED BOTH!! CROWLEY COULD STILL BE ALIVE AS THAT RAT BUT EILEEN IS FUCKING DEAD THANKS TO SHIT WRITING!!! THEY TOSSED HER LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!!! THEN THEY PLAYED CROWLEY SO FREAKING OUT OF CHARACTER IT ACTUALLY MADE ME SICK. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD IF THEY EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING DONNA OR JODY I WILL ACTUALLY LOSE MY FUCKING MIND!!!

AND WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING WITH MARY’S CHARACTER I HONESTLY DONT FUCKING KNOW ANY MORE ITS BEYOND ME NOW

I DONT KNOW IF IM GOING TO BE ABLE TO WATCH S13 I THINK S12 MIGHT HAVE BEEN IT FOR ME BC I CANT HANDLE THIS SHIT WRITING ANY MORE. FIX UR FUCKING WRITING SPN THIS IS TOO MUCH GODDAMN

Expectation v. Reality: DMMD Edition
  • aoba expectation: "It's super awesome day to be an innocent protagonist who doesn't know what he's in for!" /sunshine and rainbows and late to anime school
  • aoba reality: "fucking shit im so fucking done just knock me out and carry me home i wanna nap for 12 hours and eat donuts and dicks until i pass out fuckin dON'T TOUCH MY HAIR GODDAMNIT"
  • koujaku exectation: "hello llllladies I have a dark tragic past but awesome swordplay skills ill use to defeat my sworn anime rival" /brooding angst
  • koujaku reality: /drops aoba 12 times "I-I-uuuuuhh kjshdjksd s-so embarrassed DONT LOOK AT ME YOU'RE MAKING ME NERVOUS" /trips over himself hits his face on a curling iron and cries in a pool of his own blood
  • noiz expectation: "im the stereotypical computer nerd going outside is illogical" /uses math in mario kart
  • noiz reality: "Hehehe you like my dick piercings dont you you cum-thirsty twink yeah fight me in rhyme and bite my cock while I hack into your asshole with my fresh meme skills" /stuffs face with pizza and churros and then buys all of mexico
  • clear expectation: "herp derp im a robot i don't understand societal conventions" /zany antics and comic relief
  • clear reality: "Allow us to engage in sophisticated conversation about the particulars of life and death whilst I serenade you, making you fall deeply in love with me before I crush your heart by dying a tragic -- HOLY BALLS A SHINY THING" /vibrates and giggles excitedly "PUPPIES!"
  • mink expectation: /silent brooding character who only says one or two words and beats up everything
  • mink reality: "my navajo ancestors are talking to me and THEY SAID TO KNOCK YOUR SHIT OUT" /punches someone half his size repeatedly in the face "COMMENCE THE PURIFICATION RITUAL" /decapitating people while motorbiking over buildings

Dirk Strider is autistic, and he knows sign language because he often goes nonverbal, especially when he’s very taken by something (ex: he’s working, coding, in general doing things that require his full attention).
Too much light can make him very distressed, so he always keeps his shades on to avoid meltdowns. His special interest are robots and machine-creation in general. He doesn’t really emote, but it’s ok because nobody ever forces him to. He hates physical contact for the most, the only exceptions he makes are Dave, Jake, Jane and Roxy.
He was never raised with the idea that stims are shameful and need to be repressed, so he stims freely. He’s used to create his own stim toys out of spare mechanical parts, and always keeps one or two with him

Jane Crocker is autistic, she was never diagnosed officially but she realized it on her own.
She loves baking because she finds both the sensation of having her hands full of dough/flour/pastry in general and the smell of baked goods sensorially pleasing. Growing up she was really ashamed of flapping in public, but in the post-game she starts doing it again and she’s very happy about it. She doesn’t like making eye contact, and sometimes she wears gloves to avoid touching something that may feel Wrong.
Her Dad taught her how to make her own slime when she was little and she dedicates herself fully to the task of trying to figure out which colours would create the best combinations.
She got Jake into comedy TV shows first, and then the rest of her family (Dad, John and Jade) started joining them when they were watching them. She affirms that there’s something as wonderful as sharing special interests with people important to you!!

Roxy Lalonde is autistic, and she has absolutely no volume control.
She keeps tons of cats around because their fur and purring are sensory heaven to her and she could spend hours just lying down, surrounded by kittens. She bites her nails a lot, and is constantly twirling her hair.
Magicians and coding are her special interests, and she could go hours and hours talking about them - and sometimes she does, because her friends love to hear her talk about the things that make her the happiest. She gets lost and upset if people interrupt her while she’s talking about something, because it takes her a while to get back to the same train of thought.
She hates noises, and is used to keeping noise cancelling earbuds to keep them away. She has also a lot of different playlists for different occasions ready, also adores cataloguing new songs in all the different folders.

Jake English is autistic, just like his grandmother was.
When he was little she would talk to him about all her different kind of plants, and he would memorize the names right away. He still repeats all of them under his breath when he’s particularly distressed because it calms him down. He adores the outdoors, there’s nothing quite as beautiful as the smell and sounds of nature - in particular, he could spend hours in the forest just breathing in and out, because it reminds him of home. He can’t really understand tone of voices and metaphors and puns often tend to slip away from him.
He has a long time special interest for “bad” movies: he knows they’re bad and he doesn’t give half a shit because he loves them. His DVD collection is incredibly important to him and he doesn’t like people touching it, and everyone respects his wishes.
He keeps a chewie toy always with him, and every now and then he alchemizes a new one whenever the one he has seems too worn-out.

Okay but  the only idea I got is that if Geno and Death were to meet after Aftertale story, I think their relationship would go like Hotarubi No Mori E an anime movie I really REALLY love. (Check it out on Daily Motion)

Because the concept that I was interested in is that the two main characters on the movie didn’t get physical contact with each other whatsoever (like touching, hand holding, fucking and shit) but they still managed to make a good relationship out of it. And since like Death just kind of murders everything he touches i thought itd be cool- okay you know what- I’m not really good at explaining anything so just watch the movie and you’ll get what i mean.

Also Bonus art thing: 

Yes i know the branch would die but I’m a lazy asshole who wouldn’t change it with a stone or smth so whatever-

i ALSO WANTED IT TO BE AS CLOSE TO THE MOVIE OKAY ITS A REALLY GOOD MOVIE

mmk bye *flies off to neverland*

anonymous asked:

Don't you wanna share some of your jikook pictures (please say yes)

Ah most of my jikook pictures are on my phone, but lets see what i have in my laptop

KISS KISS KISS

^ He wants to kiss his hyung

JUST KISS ALREADY

I dont really understand this couple

Goddamnit i told you two to just kiss each other on the mouth already

Jimin looking taller < 3

True love is the person you can lean on

smh im so ??? /crying for 99 years/

/Haters voice/ buT JUNGKOOK ALWAYS PUSH JIMIN AWAYAYAYAYAYYY

/Another haters voice/ itS SO OBVIOUS THAT JUNGKOOK IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH JIMINNN!!!?!?!??!?!?!!!!!

Their fixing each other hair thing < 3

Bye feels

I have no comment on this picture

Cuteness overload, look at their expression, im dyign

N O

Kiss me underneath the mistletoe~ Tell me baby that you love me so~

Fetus jikook

/Haters #99 voice/ jungkook never carE ABOUT jIM I n ! ! !

They are beautiful

If this isnt cute, then i dont know what is cute

They be talkin shit, i think

Their cheeks are touching???

Same jungkook

Dont they look a lot like a couple

b o y f r i e n d s

Boyfriends in vacation

That is not a fake sub

Thats all of the jikook pictures that i have on my laptop, hope you enjoy

3

Goin to art shows always touches that small part of me that wonders what if i had chosen art school instead. Tbh i dont think i wouldve been happy. I needed to know some things that i wouldnt have learned if i didnt go to my alma mater… namely, Black shit.
And i dont think i have the skin for the art world. I be so sensitive lmao. And i wouldnt have been anyone who made waves anyhow. Thats not on some poor me shit, its just being realistic. Ive accepted that art is for me. And the small few crazy enough to pay me for pieces.
Le sigh.

iskrowrioutha  asked:

ಠ_ಠ (ಥ_ಥ) ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

ಠ_ಠ: what is your biggest pet peeve?

  • hmmmmm. im not sure about BIGGEST but mums watching a show rn about people adopting puppies with no prior knowledge of how to look after a dog and its pissing me off yall do ya RESEARCH 

(ಥ_ಥ): finish this: i hate it when…

  • UHHH when customers blame cashiers for shit out of their control. ITS NOT OUR FAULT THE STORES OUTTA CABBAGE GUYS 

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ: what is your favorite animal?

  • MAN I DONT KNOW i love so many,,,,i like raccoons and deep sea fish and sharks and droopy doggos  

(づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ: are you a hugger?

  • depends how im feelin! im likely to hug friends but i prefer to be asked first bc my kneejerk reaction when someone touches me and makes me jump is to elbow em in the stomach as many people have found [oops]

[  Get to know the mun ]

RANT (TW: Si, anxiety, panic attacks, slight mention of suicide)

Guys theres a boy ive been friends with for about 4 ½ years and I thought I liked him and he asked me out and all of this shit and I have to see him tomorrow but I dont like him and its so draining just to talk to him over text. I dont know what to do because theres only gonna be 3 otjer people who are gonna be with us and I dont want him touching me, like even hugs or holding my hands. And I told my mom I dont like him or being in a relationship and she said “oh its just cause youre young” and then I asked her why I shoukd stay with him even if im unhappy and she said “because thats what normal people do. Thats how our society works.” And im really stressedand I kinda wanna die and kinda wanna hurt myself and I feel really panic-y and its just a lot for me rn. I also think I might be aromantic and on the asexual spectrum because of how uncomfortable this makes me and its not the first time ive felt this way in a relationship. And thats hard for me cause im still figuring out my gender and now Im questioning my sexuality which I thought I had more or less down. But im also not sure im a-anything because I panic around physical contact and attention and u know thats not normal. Like we were playing volleyball in our class once and I finally served and it went over the net and everyone on my team, like 10 or 12 other girls, rushed in and gave me a group hug and I panicked and was smiling cause thats what I do when I feel really stressed because I stress laugh but I also had tears streaming down my face and I had to go sit down or else I was going to pass out. I dont know what to do and im trying not to relapse again and I dont want to use rubberbands because once I start snapping it I cant stop and then my ENTIRE arm has bruises that I need to figure out how to hide. And I started doing it on my knuckles and I almost split them open and they were swollen for a long time. Im so scared right now. Oh godi feel panicked and I dont remember how to deal and I know I should go back to therapy for self harm and depression and suicidal stuff and anxiety and eating disorders. Im terrified right now cause I havent felt this way in a while and I dont like it. Ive been on the verge of a panic attack for more than a week and its more painful than an actual panic attack and I hate it. I hate this, I hate the guy, I hate my family, o hate myself, I hate mental illness, I hatd everything.

tumblr mobile why u gotta eat my asks huh

at least now i dont feel bad for expanding on this lmao

imagine yachi really liking secretly drawing yamaguchi.  just a sketch here, a doodle there, maybe a lot of full blown colored pieces (you cant prove that it was her! except she signs it in the corner lol) of this cute guy with freckles like stars and maybe she has the tiniest crush on him.  maybe?  it’s just that he works so hard, he doesn’t stand out that much until he steps onto the court and lands amazing serve after amazing serve.

and she thinks, oh, and falls a bit in love with how steady his eyes are even though his fingers shake.

and it’s inspirational, y'know?  eyes bloom to life underneath her pencil, framed by constellations and eyebrows neatly furrowed in concentration.  swipes of hair, and she paints them in like galaxies.  she spends nearly an hour at the craft store getting just the right shade for his eyes,

no one knows about it.  no one even notices her staring at him during practice, hands moving for an outline so practiced and familiar that she could probably draw him from memory alone, now.  so yachi doesn’t flinch when he smiles at her, when they talk, because how would he know about the doodles of him in her bag?

she messes up eventually.  her bag’s a little bit open, she was going to be late for her train, and she doesn’t notice as a portrait falls out of her bag.

yamaguchi does, though.  he picks up a paper yachi left behind, fully prepared to call out to her and hand it back, when he turns it over and sees stars for freckles, a warm smile, and eyes bleeding the night sky.  it’s beautiful, and it takes him a second to place it as… himself?  it’s his face, his hair and his hands, right down to the spattering of freckles on his ears.  in the picture, he’s smiling, confident, intricate and elegant in his own contained universe.

he’s so surprised by it, yachi leaves before he could give it back.  part of him is relieved.  how does one go and tell someone, “hey, you dropped this thing of me, it’s really amazing and I’m flattered, but im a hot mess and this is not?  also would you mind if i keep it bc it’s doing wonders for my self esteem”?  finally, he clips it to his mirror, because really, when someone draws a fucking fantastic portrait of you and it make you happy, you’re going to want to see it often.

but of course, there still is the fact that she saw exhibit a: self-depreciating, self-proclaimed “hot mess”, and drew something nearly unrecognizable to his eyes?  the lines are almost intimately drawn, obviously familiar and loved to the artist, who is most definitely yachi because of the tiny signature in the corner.  and the implications—that she looks at him and sees this graceful, inspirational being—makes his chest constrict in warmth and terror because he can’t?? he can’t look at himself and see battle-worn confidence in his eyes, constellations scattered across his face.  he can’t live up to her sight.

which is why he’s then unable to look her in the eyes for the next three weeks.  he tries to give it back a couple of times, but then she smiles at him and he remembers that THIS ADORABLE PERSON THINKS OF HIS FRECKLES AS STARS and he just dies inside.  at some point he kinda gives up, because constantly blushing and stuttering was not the impression he wanted to give.

and he talks with her more!  because well.  wouldn’t you?  and they get really close and okay he might be developing a bit of a crush for her??  a lot of a bit of a crush on her?  they get comfortable in each others presence (even though yams still blushes a lot).  and then she finds out that the picture had in her bags weeks ago was not, actually, somewhere in her room, but missing.

she spends a really long time worrying about it, tbh.  like, what if he finds it?  what if he sees it and think she’s creepy?  he’ll think she’s stalkerish and he’ll avoid her and hate her and—

the next few weeks, she can’t look him in the face, too nervous for what expression he might have.  and that sets off yamaguchi too, because what if she knows about his crush??  what if awkward??????

and this goes on for a while, them communicating without prolonged eye contact and blushing all the time and literally it’s just very awkward, very embarrassed good friends with a small dose of anxiety.  literally just that.

eventually tsukki makes the connection between the picture on yamaguchi’s mirror, yachi, and their traffic light faces, and he is So Done.  he prods at yamaguchi into either giving it back or confessing, god yamaguchi, just do it she looks at you with heart eyes all the time there’s no way it’ll end badly, jfc.  so yamaguchi tries, and basically it’s something among the lines of “you dropped this a while ago and it’s beautiful and ur beautiful oh god did i say that out loud im so sorry im really nervous but i also like you a lot and u make me feel better about myself and oh god uR SO CUTE”

his speech ends like that mainly because she has that.  that wobbly smile, the really cute one that shows off her pearly teeth and lights up her eyes.  she doesn’t say anything, though, and yams is so nervous he nearly leaves, but she grabs his hand and says something like “i really like you too and ur very cool and inspirational, also im just as nervous as you are” and they smile at each other and iTS SO CUTE MAN

and look, while i can’t dialogue for shit just know that it’s heartwarming and sweet and adorable and imagine all the fluff in the world times ten and thats like.  half as good okay.

and then the rest of the karasuno team, who’ve been conveniently hiding behind some bushes, quietly cheer becAUSE HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM GETTING CAVITIES JUST IMAGINING THEM OKAY

I HAVE FEELINGS, DONT TOUCH ME

also, what if i actually, yknow, sit down and write this out and post it either on my blog (le gasp i fucking have one) or on my ao3?  would there be interest?

BTS actually having the jobs from the For You MV
  • ** Gas Station Assistants Jin & Namjoon **
  • customer: hey can u clean my car and fill up my gas tank
  • jin: u want me to do it for u?
  • c: yes.
  • j: *giggles*
  • c: what's so funny??
  • j: do u see these hands
  • c: yes
  • j: touch them
  • c: umm...
  • j: do it.
  • c: wow they're so soft
  • j: yes. i just put lotion on and they're not going anywhere near ur dirty car
  • c: is there someone who can help
  • namjoon: sure i can do it *drops pump on customer's foot* oops my bad
  • c:
  • n: dw you're on good hands *spills gas on car* ha classic *chips paint off* no one will notice
  • c:
  • n: all done, your total is *smashes gas pump into car window and breaks it* u know what for u it's free
  • n: still want me to clean it??
  • c: dont ever touch anything i own again
  • ** Bear Mascot Jungkook **
  • child: wow look it's a cute huge bear!
  • jungkook: i can't fking see anything w this thing on my head, dont cling on me
  • jk: *steps on toddler*
  • woman: let's take a photo with it!
  • jk: *takes bear head off*
  • jk: i'm on my break lady. not getting paid enough for this shit
  • w: wow aren't u too young to be working?
  • jk: im doing this for my gf
  • w: awwwww
  • jk: gonna buy a train ticket and go to her city tonight
  • w: awwwwwwwwwwwwww
  • jk: she said her parents aren't home
  • w:
  • ** Sales Assistant Taehyung **
  • customer: hi i was looking for baby wipes
  • taehyung: me too, tell me when u find them
  • c: do u not work here??
  • t: yes can't u see i'm stacking mentos boxes
  • c:
  • t: my mom dropped me here this morning, i've been looking for her ever since
  • t: then a kind old man said he'll give me pocket money if i do this and it's kinda fun
  • t: but really i don't know the way back home
  • customer 2: where can I find condoms in here?
  • t: what
  • c2: you know...condoms..
  • t:
  • c2: you're making it more awkward than it already is, just point me in the right direction
  • t:
  • t: do u want a lollipop, they're rly good
  • ** Yoongi the pizza delivery boy **
  • yoongi: here's ur pizza
  • customer: pretty sure it was supposed to get here like an hr ago
  • y: shit happens
  • c: wow it's really cold too, did u fall asleep on the way here or sth
  • y: *grabs slice and bites into it*
  • y: u dont sound too hungry
  • c: wtf im gonna report this
  • y: go ahead, don't forget i know where u live
  • c:
  • y: also i can go back and re-make the pizza for u. personally.
  • c: umm no it's ok..
  • y: that'll be $15
  • c: but here it says $9.99 -
  • y: $15
  • c: ok. maybe can u take the trash on ur way out though
  • y: idk u seem kinda heavy to be carried outside
  • c: *goes back in and starts crying into pizza*
‘I definitely want to wake up to that everyday.'

Author’s note: Somehow between cleaning my room, planning an essay and writing more EWTWE, I ended up writing a smutty Seungri drabble…I dont really know what that says about me xD But I thought i might as well post it- So here you go! ;) 

Warning: Thigh riding kink- …don’t ask -_- (also, i literally wrote it in 5 minutes, so its probably shit, but still.) ;)

A few hours after you’d both fallen asleep, you began to dream of Seungri touching you, his hands running over your hips as you were sat making out on the sofa, and you could feel yourself getting wet from his touch, fingers inching their way closer to your core, your breaths coming out in harsh pants as he sucked at the spot on your neck that he knew drove you insane.

You woke up with a start, face pressed into Seungri’s chest, just like when you’d fallen asleep, but now you were on the bed and somehow you’d managed to entangle your legs with his so that his thigh was pressed closely to your core. You cursed yourself for having woken up, desperately needing the friction that the dream had granted you in the form of Seungri’s hands, the damp between your legs, being embaressingly too close to his, but its as you move away that you realise the man beneath you isn’t actually asleep.

‘Babe, you dont have to stop.’ he murmurs, and you look up to see him looking down at you, eyes filled with lust, irises practically black as his hands squeeze your backside, where you hadn’t realised they had been sitting.

You want to pretend that you dont know what he’s on about, but from your close proximity- his thigh between your legs, and his hands that are beginning to guide your hips in a slow rocking motion against him, its easy to guess that you had infact been using his leg whilst you were asleep as friction for your burning need.

You’re shy at first, as you buck your hips against him, but as soon as your swollen clit rubs against his leg you moan out, stabilising yourself with one hand pressed to the mattress and the other on his chest. Your movements quickly become faster and you press your forehead into his chest as you rock against his thigh, letting out strangled moans when his fingernails dig into the skin of your ass, forcing you to go faster and helping you when your thighs begin to get weak, hearing him panting above you. You cry out as you get closer to your climax, feeling his skin growing damp with your juices and you curl your hips faster, pressing ever closer to him, the friction against your clit become too intense and your nails dig into his chest as you scream out, orgasm flooding over you in waves as he continues to press you against him, rolling your hips for you to prolongue your orgasm, before you collapse on top of him, panting heavily.

As you get your breath back you tilt your head to look up at him, seeing the smug smirk on his face as he looks down at you, feeling his fingers drift between your legs, through your juices, causing you to shiver and gasp and watching him bring them to his lips, sucking his fingers languidly.

'I definitely want to wake up to that everyday.’

—-

P.S. Also I just watched Zico and Zion.T’s new m/v and holy hell, thats some good shit! O.O

i have the worst kid in my chem group

ok 1) hes super super into COD, which would b fine if his whole personalty didnt consist of that alone, and 2) his ONE INTEREST is nuclaer warfare, and he keeps telling us about how hes gonna blow everything up, and his favorite place is russia and all this shit, and 3) he wears those dumb gamer shirts. every damn day. every. day.,,,.

and it all started with our “design thinking project,” which means we have to design and if we want to, make a product or service that would benefit at least one person. and our WHOLE GROUP (mostly me tho) had great ideas, like a plan B that works for any weight, what causes alzheimers and/or ho to cure it, and my shit load of robotics ideas. and then this little shit just says “those are all dumb ideas, what about making (whatever he said) real from call of duty” and obvs we were all like?????? no dude???? n then he said “okay what about a new nuclear bomb” and we had to gently explain that doesnt benefit anyone, and then he got all quiet and started muttering shit under his breath, n me and my group member M (whos the nicest, most intelligent stoner u’ll ever meet) just side eye each other, and M goes “just remember we’re best friends ok dude” ive never had to fight so hard not to piss myself laughing before, BUT THEN HE GOES “don’t worry, i wont hurt you” and thats the most tension ive ever felt in my fuckin LIFE

and then he starts complaining and ACTUALLY THREATENING our chem teacher who wouldnt let him have “full access to the chemical cabinet” (please its only been 3 weeks of school) and hes on of those guys thats gotta one u up on literally everything. and he says to me, a senior whos 3 years older than him, has a job, and handles predators all day, that he knows more than me, and makes fun of me for “only just now taking chem”

and then when i told him i was gonna b a meteorologist, he started askin me all this shit tryin to prove “im a real scientist, not just *gags* trying to impress him” and then tried to quiz me on solar storms, and when told that wasnt in my jurisdiction, PHYSICALLY GRABBED ME and said “YEAH IT IS” like right. in my face

AND I DONT KNOW HOW I KEEP ATTRACTING THESE P E O P L E but the next day he starts like shakin my desk around (its wobbly, but seriously??) and touching my feet under the desk and trying to hold my hand n shit, which is making me very uncomfy, luckily he moved on, BUT TO MY FRIEND J and now im scared for both of us

and he had a bunson burner lab which is SUPER NORMAL like whatever n he gets WAAAAAAAY TOO EXCITED ABOUT THE GAS FIRE PART and M left me for another group, so that meant me and my group member G were alone. with gas. and fire. with this dude. and it was fine until i mentioned how beautiful the copper solution fire was (its green bte, SO PRETTY *^*) and then he looks over, and the fires illuminating his face in a horror-movie esque way, just says “isnt destruction so beautiful?”

i have to work w him the whole rest of the year. look for the body

anonymous asked:

can you imagine tho like SOULMATES JEMMA AND BOBBI?!?

OKAY OKAY YES ANON, YES I CAN.

like different type of soulmate aus tho;

  • do like the color thing? and jemma who gets to see colors one day while working for hydra and is like “wait what no” and in part of being undercover has been trying to figure out how to find her soul mate, but at the same time doesnt want it to be somebody cause hydra. EXCEPT LIKE BOBBI KNOWS, and has to remain in deep cover but is watching this science baby and when they first meet like properly, and jemmas not scared to death shes like “holy shit holy shit im in love”
  • ALTERNATIVELY, realizing that when they touch theyre soul mates, and jemma is on the run from hydra and bobbi grabs her hand to tug her along so she doesnt get captured and its like “woah suddenly this is my soulmate oh my god i need to escape but also my soul mate is so amazing and i am already in love with her, please dont let me die cause i need to kiss her face a lot”
  • identifying mark? jemma with a bird mark on her wrist and is like wait what- buuut then bobbi
  • the first words they say to each other on their skin, and jemma doesnt really put two and two together at first, because this woman is interrogating here. but later it hits her and she’s laying in bed with bobbi and is like “i should have known right away” and bobbi just laughs at her beautiful amazing soulmate and is like “i knew the second you opened your mouth”
  • I CANT REMEMBER OTHER SOULMATE AUS RIGHT NOW, BUT IM PROBABLY GOING TO WRITE THE TOUCH ONE OKAY ANON, HOLD ME TO THIS.

Ive told you once and i’ll tell you again. Dont touch the food in the fridge that you KNOW is fucking mine. We’ve spoken about this dude, its my fucking food. Would you like it if i opened the fridge at 2am and just snacked on your fucking dessert yoghurt that youve been saving for three weeks and your goddamn……red mountain dew? No, you’d fucking scream at me, steven. so fuck off. stop touching my shit in the fridge. im serious.