i know its not a roller coaster

my friends and i have this weird inside joke we do where if we go to an amusement park together and go on rollercoasters we have this game of “rollercoaster confessions” where you have to turn to the person next to you, right at the very top of the hill before the first big drop, and tell them a ~shocking confession~ e.g. “i am secretly an alien” “i killed mufasa” etc

this is best if you time it EXACTLY RIGHT so that you are turning to them and saying “i am the true author of my immortal” and then immediately before they have a chance to react the rollercoaster is falling and everyone is screaming as if in shocked response to your dramatic reveal

anonymous asked:

What.... is the dirty laundry fic???

oh god… is there a generation of vld fans… who DON’T KNOW…. what HELL the dirty laundry discourse was… who DON’T KNOW the emotional roller coaster the original text was…. oh god. i just…. cant tell if this is  JOKE.

IF this isn’t a joke, listen up young one, I’m not going to give you all the gory details, but the dirty laundry fic was basically the first klance fic to get really big and the majority of klance fans read and loved it (so many loved it that it has its own fandom). The author was @gibslythe if I remember correctly, and you can read it on AO3 here if you want to. Fair warning: there is a TON of discourse (and fan art) associated with this fic so just… watch out…

Bands that describe themselves in their song titles
  • Arctic Monkeys: Dangerous Animals
  • Fall Out Boy: Short, Fast, And Loud
  • Twenty One Pilots: Lovely
  • Blink-182: Roller Coaster
  • The Smiths: Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now
  • The 1975: The 1975
  • My Chemical Romance: Dead
Finally Free...

This is a 20 year progression post.

For twenty years (nearly to the day), I’ve been encompassed with CW (then WB) shows.   It started with BtVS and on the same day of its twentieth year debut celebration, it ends with TVD.

For years, it was a roller coaster.   It did not end well for the majority of my ships (Buffy/Angel – though I would argue that their last scenes together left us with a sense of hope and belief that they would find their way back, Dawson/Joey,  Brooke/Lucas, and now Stefan/Elena to name a few) and the writing, while once amazing, seemed to veer so far away from the premise and core of what these series were meant to encompass.

I found it rather fitting that my love affair with this television channel would end exactly where it began.   My heart remembers these moments, but my head can never forget the pain that shipping these true love, albeit non-endgames ships, have caused me.

It’s finally come full-circle and I can let this channel go.

anonymous asked:

I need to get this off my chest. My heart still aches after 2 years of not seeing this one guy. We didn't even date. I don't even know if he ever liked me. He never said it. But the way he looked at me made me nervous, like the feeling you get before you descend on a roller coaster— thrilled anticipation for what was about to happen. I don't think of him often but when I do kick myself bc its been 2 stinking years and it feels like freaking love. Is that even possible??! Gosh I feel insane.

do you know who the guy is? if so then just send him a text or something saying like “hey, we haven’t in a long time. how you doin’?” it doesn’t hurt to try. If you really think that he could have some sort of feelings then go and try to have at least a friendship with him at the beginning. First you’ll take your mind off that douche and move on with your life. If you think that maybe it’s love why not try to see what’s out there? It doesn’t hurt to try and at least you’ll have some answers after 2 god damn years!


I don’t know, I’m really bad at coming up with those “titles”, but I just feel the need to put them…

Anyways, first of all, if you haven’t read “Smá Rob”, and you can handle the stuff that I have in its warnings, I’d appreciate if you read it :)

And if you have read it, yeah, how do you feel about it? Sad? At least a little bit? I kind of hope so? If you do feel sad, then it’s good that I decided to make an extremely fluffy shortie after that emotional roller coaster. Just need to settle back into the nice shorties, and stuff, so yeah, extreme fluff coming your way in a moment!

I don’t know, another pointless post.

anonymous asked:

Personally, you're one of my favorite blogs and I really enjoy reading what you have to say because your personality is so active and cheerful it's just endearing to me. So I try to drop by every now and then and leave a nice message because why not. But I'm happy to know that me and everyone else who does the same have been helping you out when you needed positivity in your life. But honestly, who doesn't? I hope you overcome all obstacles and issues in your life Squeaks. Take care!

my motto is “IF ITS NOT EXTRA, THEN GET OUTTA HERE!” because I’m not just extra when it comes to being cheerful and happy, I’m also EXTRA SAD when the sad times swing around…or really any and all emotions. my life is a constant roller coaster let me tell YOU (I think its hilarious that my manic talking patterns are visible even through text, like NOTHING IS STOPPING THE MANIC TRAIN HAHAHAHAAAA) 

I appreciate the kind messages!! I need get contact with people to keep me grounded, talking to people puts me more at ease and….yeah it grounds me, thats the best way to put it. I think part of the reason I need so much pos from other people is also, I dont get much emotional support at home, so I have to log the fuck in to get the fuck connected with others. 

The Return

Hello Everyone!

I know its been an awful longtime since I’ve updated this blog so I’m thankful for those who have stuck around and also to all the new followers!

Last year was my first year of post-graduation and it was honestly a roller coaster of emotions. The first two thirds of the year I worked on and completed a post-graduation sketchbook that I’m very fond of but never got around to really sharing any work from it. Once Autumn came I just felt completely lost in my personal art and it honestly just felt like there was a heavy fog over me with all the personal issues with my mental illness I was dealing with. 

So I’m hoping that I can start properly posting some of those sketches but also possibly putting together a sketch zine or small art book of that sketchbook. 

The parts of last year that really helped ground me were days I was off tabling at conventions around Florida and a couple of other states. I feel blessed to have been able to table with friends and see new and old friends at those cons. I really love you guys <3 Tabling at cons can be stressful but they really are wonderful experiences as well.

Although I’m still struggling a little I am starting to focus more on my personal art and in a way I’m healing myself through it. I’m gonna try and post on here as often as I can but if you want to see all my art I’ll be posting from now on most actively is on my twitter: @stephescamora! I’ll try and see if I can also make a new instagram account focused solely on my art as well. 

As far as this year goes I’ve completed a couple of illustrations I’ve submitted to some fanzines and anthologies for so I hope to share them soon when artists are allowed to post them! I also have a couple more of those including my own projects that I’ll be working on for the next couple months. 

Thank you for reading and for your support! I look forward to sharing more of my work with you all this year.

Take care! <3

Sam/Josh fic recs

Spiral Down and Back Around by  rainbowLivinda (gaylussacia)

“I just want someone to say to me,
“I’ll always be there when you wake.”
You know I’d like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I’ll have it made.
AU where Josh doesn’t go through with the prank and instead of betraying Sam, he relies on her.”

★ Screen by moenochrome (madkinggangrel)

“I do not know why I would go
In front of you and hide my soul
Cause you’re the only one who knows it.

( A collection of Josh / Sam drabbles based on prompts I received. )”

[This world is] not a place to be on your own by talverrar (joshing-machine)

“Josh doesn’t like diaries. He remembers what’s important and lets go of what isn’t.
Shameless fluff. Like, really. Just snippets from their relationship as it progresses.
This ship is the worst.”

Keep reading

I live in extremes,
There is no in between,
I don’t understand grey areas,
I live in hysteria,
Emotional Roller Coasters,
Ejected like a Toaster,
You are my only friend,
Until I rule this friendship to an end,
Tomorrow I’ll change my mind,
A purpose in life I’m trying to find,
If you discover the source of my anger,
You’ll find yourself in danger,
So hold someone like me at arms length,
Close to my heart you’ll find its strength,
I feel more deeply than you will ever know,
Because extremes is all I can swallow.

Patient 104 | PT.1

Originally posted by lethargicmin

Warnings: violence, mentions of death and killing, swearing. 

Summary: being a volunteer for an asylum had its ups and downs. when patient 104 is admitted and is assigned to her care, work becomes a roller coaster ride for Y/N.

Author’s note: ahHhHh holy crap i don’t have a single clue as to what it is like to work at an asylum nor do i know anything about anything that goes on in there, so i want y'all to know that THIS IS HOW ASYLUMS WORK IN MY BRAIN OKAY. THIS IS HOW ASYLUMS WORK IN THIS AU.  

the video game au fic is still in progress ehey  ♬

i hate how shitty this fic turned out even after working on it for days, but i hate not posting anything more than i hate this fic so..

chapter 01 . 

Screams and strings of incoherent mumbles. These are the sounds that Y/N regularly hears at the place she volunteered to help around at with her friends. As the taxi approached the designated building, her e/c eyes looked through the vehicle’s slightly dusty window and came across the all too familiar sign that read ‘Heatherfall Asylum’. Soon enough the taxi came to a halt and she paid the fare before getting off to start her shift.

No day at the asylum will ever be boring. Getting to interact with the patients while working is always interesting- they’d talk about their dreams, their lives before being admitted to the hospital, why they got admitted, and Y/N would oftentimes witness their peculiar behaviors which ranged from putting three grains of rice at a time on their spoon before consuming it to opening doors with their hands turned at a certain angle before twisting the knob.  

With 3 hours of work left to do, Y/N would roam the hallways of the forensic unit to see if any employee or patient needed any assistance. As she does just that, she spots Dr. Kim in the distance with his clipboard in hand (as usual)- Dr. Kim is an amazing psychiatrist who always looks perpetually concerned; he is unbelievably kind, helpful, and compassionate, always treating Y/N like a younger sister and that helped Y/N warm up immensely when she started working here.

“Namjoon!” Y/N called as she approached him, her white rubber flats faintly squeaking against the white tiles of the hospital. His head shot up at her voice and his deep brown eyes met her e/c ones. “Y/N,” He smiled fondly, “Great timing. I have a task for you. Do you mind?” he asks as he wrote down who knows what on his clipboard. Once she nodded her head he handed her the clipboard and gestured to the door beside the both of them, “I need you to keep patient 104 company while I go attend patient 302 for a while. He’s having another episode.”

“Who is patient 104?” Y/N inquired, curious eyes flickering over to the small window on the door where she could see a pale young man sitting on the bed, dark and brooding eyes staring at the plain white wall.  

“Patient 104 is Min Yoongi. He’s new here and he’s very much alert but he doesn’t respond to anyone that attempts to interact with him which is very unlike the other patients in this unit, but he’s completely harmless so you don’t have to worry about getting tackled like last time with patient 524,” He pats her shoulder and sends her a reassuring smile, “I have to go. Good luck, Y/N.” And with that, the tall doctor hurriedly walks off to tend to patient 302.

Being in a room alone with a patient in the asylum is scary. Being alone in a room with a patient in the forensic unit is terrifying. Y/N takes a deep breath before cautiously entering Room 104. Despite the creaking and clicking of the door and the squeaks of her shoes, the patient pays no heed to her presence. Y/N made her way to the side of his bed, standing there and flashing him a polite smile like how she always does with every patient, “Hi there.” She greeted him, yet he continued to ignore her. “You’re Yoongi, right? My name is Y/N. Nice to meet you!” Y/N extends her hand in front of him, but the young man deems the off-white walls as a much more interesting subject.

After a few moments of silence with y/n’s hand awkwardly extended and empty, she retracts it back to her side and shoots him a quizzical look. What could possibly help her garner his attention? Minutes of awkward silence pass as Y/N tried to think. Remembering the clipboard that Namjoon handed to her, a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips once she realizes that it was filled with information regarding the patient infront of her.

Birth Date: March 9, 1993
Blood Type: O
Hometown: Daegu

Professional Photographer for BH Ent.

Reported by his neighbor after killing his friends in his house. He did not respond at all when he was interrogated by officials and instead kept laughing loudly-’ 

Before she could continue reading the messily written notes, the door creaks open and Y/N looks up to see Seokjin who gives her an apologetic smile, “Y/N. Can you come out for a bit? I have something important to tell you.”

Y/N nods immediately, glancing at the pale young man infront of her for one last time before scurrying out of the room. “How’d it go? Did he give you any trouble?” Namjoon asked as soon as she closed the door. The girl shook her head with an endearing smile, “No. He wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence,” She chuckled sheepishly.

“As expected. Namjoon and I have an important task for you, Y/N.”

The tall doctor said it with a tone pressed in such seriousness and it made Y/N feel just a bit anxious, curious as to how important it must be since she wasn’t at all used to Seokjin being this stern. “I know this sounds difficult, but I know that you’ll be able to do this,” He went on, “Starting tomorrow, Namjoon and I want you to look after 104 in our stead because we have to pay more attention 304. I know this sounds pretty crazy, but I have this strong feeling that you’ll be able to help him.”

“I can’t believe you said yes,” Jimin pursed his lips as he swirled the now cold coffee in his cup, his other hand tightening the scarf around his neck for a bit more warmth as he and Y/N walked to their favorite fast food chain. Y/N had told him about being assigned to Yoongi and all he did was furrow his eyebrows in disbelief along the way. “Do you know how dangerous that is? Sure he’s acting like some brain-dead plank, but you’ll never know when he’ll charge at you!”

The young lady bit her lip in guilt, trying to avoid her bestfriend’s glare as he scolded her like no tomorrow. “Jimin.. Just.. trust me, okay? I know I can handle this. I didn’t take those self-defense classes for nothing, you know,” She said weakly but thankfully the male heard her because as soon as she said that, he let out a defeated sigh and let go of his muffler to flick her forehead.

“Fine, but if anything happens I’ll make sure to kick both of your asses.” Jimin pulled his hand away to rub the back of his neck, “I used to be best friends with Yoongi. He’s very violent, so please don’t let your guard down.”

This made her look up at him in interest. “Bestfriends? Maybe he’ll react when he sees you!” Y/N beamed, clinging onto Jimin’s arm in excitement. After today’s events, she made sure that she’d get Yoongi to respond and it looks like she had found a solution already. “You should visit him tomorrow!”

“No way in hell.” Jimin deadpanned with a frown. “I’m barely okay with the fact that he’ll be in your care, Y/N. Don’t push it.”

“Fine.. just tell me more about him then,” Y/N pressed, giving Jimin the puppy look that she knew he wouldn’t be able to resist. Jimin immediately looked away from her face in turn which only made the young woman block his path and grab his cheeks to make him look at her. “Please.”

“Oh, good morning Y/N!” Taehyung grinned as soon as he saw the said girl in the hallway of the asylum, “You’re four hours early today. What’s up?”

Y/N stopped in her tracks and bowed a bit to greet the man with a smile, “Good morning. I’m on my way to Patient 104,” She tells him, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I’ve been assigned to him yesterday and I’m hoping to coax a reaction from him today. My schedule’s been changed thanks to that.”

Taehyung nodded his head in acknowledgement, a low hum vibrating from his throat. Then, his deep brown eyes noticed her hand clutching a rather familiar book. “Peter Pan?” he raised an eyebrow and smirked playfully, “Never knew you still read those kinds of books.”

Taehyung’s words made Y/N let out a sheepish laugh. “No, I just wanted to see if Yoongi will like this book.” She says shyly, her fingers playing with the hem of her plain beige cardigan. Jimin told her that Yoongi used to always have this book in hand when they hung out, which most likely meant that it’s his favorite and Y/N was determined to read it to him in hopes of at least a look from Yoongi.

“Okay then,” Taehyung chuckled, patting Y/N’s head lightly, “I’ll let you go now. Be careful.” With that, he walks away with his shoes very lightly clacking against the white tiles as he hummed a low tune on his way.

Y/N continued to make her way to room 104, halting infront of it with a determined look etched on her face. Her fingers reached for the door knob and twisted it open, pushing it lightly before slipping inside and closing the door with a gentle click. There she finds Yoongi laying down on his white bed, his milky skin almost as pale as the sheets. Today his empty gaze was focused on the cream-colored ceiling of the dull room. “Good morning,” Y/N cleared her throat and made her way to the side of his bed, “I brought a book for us today.”

Due to the lack of chairs in patient’s rooms, Y/N awkwardly sits herself down on the carpet-clad floor and looks up at the man. “It’s Peter Pan. Do you like Peter Pan?” She questions, opening the book and flipping the pages over to get to the first chapter. As expected, Yoongi doesn’t bother with a reply. Pursing her lips, Y/N held the boook to eye-level for easier reading. “I hope that’s a yes, because I’m going to start reading it now.”

“All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this…”

The most time a chapter of the book would take up was no more than twenty minutes, which is why after an hour, Y/N had already finished reading three. Within that hour she’d crack a smile here and there at parts she’d find rather amusing or peculiar but alas, the pale man on the bed remained nothing but unfazed. At this point Y/N was already parched due to her non-stop reading for the quiet man. Conveniently, it was already lunch time for the patients and soon an employee would fetch Yoongi as Seokjin had told Y/N that she needn’t accompany him to breakfast, lunch, nor dinner which was quite a shame since part of her wanted to see him move more than he did in his room.

Interrupting Y/N’s train of thought, a light rap on the door was heard before she watched it open with a creak to reveal a smiling Hoseok. “Time for lunch- oh, Y/N!” Hoseok cheerfully waved at her as he approached Yoongi, “How’s your first day as Yoongi’s buddy?” He asks before gently telling Yoongi that he had to stand up but the latter didn’t acknowledge him, making Hoseok have to stand Yoongi up himself but thanks to Hoseok’s kind nature he gently lifted the pale man and propped him onto his feet for him unlike other employees who could pass of as wrestlers for handling patients so roughly.

“It’s nice and calm,” Y/N replies after placing the book under the bed for later, shuffling to get up from her uncomfortable seating position on the floor, “I’m enjoying it.” She says as she followed Hoseok who led Yoongi out of the room and down the hallway.

“That’s good to hear,” Hoseok hummed and nodded in satisfaction, “Enjoy your lunch then, Yoongi’ll see you in fourty-five. Bye!” He waved at Y/N as he and Yoongi changed direction to the where mess hall is located.

Y/N let out a small sigh and made her way alone to the staff break room. Twisting the handle of the door and pushing it open the aroma of freshly brewed coffee wafted out of the gap and into her nostrils and only now has she realized that she was starving.

“Y/N, over here!” An all too familiar voice caught her attention and she whipped her head in the direction of the said voice, spotting Taehyung at a table in the far back. Y/N scurried over to the doctor’s side with a small smile and took a seat beside him and he immediately places a pink lunch box infront of her. “For today, it’s octopus sausages and omurice. For being such a good girl, I put in some chocolate in there, too.”

Y/N laughed lightly, unlocking the lunch box and taking the cover off before grinning the cute smiley drawn with ketchup on the scrambled egg. “You don’t have to keep making these for me, Taehyung,” she tells him but starts to dig in nonetheless, taking in first a spoonful  of the omurice and admiring the comforting taste of the tomato-sauce coated rice mixed with corns and peas before taking a bite of one of the three savory, octopus-shaped sausages that had little sesame eyes.

“But you’re the only one worthy of my cooking,” Taehyung pouts, his speech slightly distorted by the amount of food his mouth. “So, how is it?”

“It tastes like home.”

“Tastes like home? Are you trying to be poetic or are you trying tell me that you eat parts of your house when you’ve nothing else to eat?” Taehyung retorts with furrowed eyebrows, making Y/N almost choke on her food. “Just kidding.”

After a few moments pass, Seokjin and Namjoon join the two at the table, exchanging friendly greetings before chatting on as they peacefully ate and after forty minutes pass Y/N excused herself and made her way to Room 104, but on the way she sees Hoseok with Yoongi who were probably also heading back to the same room. She catches up to them and walks beside Yoongi with a polite smile, “Hi,” She greets softly, “I heard they were serving something delicious today.”

Unlike Yoongi who remained silent with his eyes straight ahead as he walked, Hoseok acknowledged Y/N’s presence. “Y/N! Did Taetae make lunch for you again today?” He asks with a teasing smile, his tone laced with playfulness.

“Hobi, we’re just friends, okay?” Y/N assured with a shake of her head. Due to her close friendship with Taehyung, the employes at the asylum would often mistake them as lovebirds which, much to Y/N’s dismay, Taehyung liked to jokingly confirm as true just to mess with her and arouse reactions from their coworkers and patients.

“Sure you are,” Hoseok chuckled in reply, “Since you’re here, I’ll let you guide Yoongi to the common room so he can make some friends on his stay. Is that alright?”

“Yeah. Bye, Hobi,” And with Y/N’s reply, Hoseok waves the two goodbye before heading off to the staff break room for his well deserved lunch. When Y/N turned to look at Yoongi she found that he was walking a bit ahead of her and she, in turn, hurried her pace to match with the pale young man’s steps. Before she even realized it, she was the one following Patient 104 to the common room as if he knew this place like a second home. She watched as his veiny hands held the door handle and twisted it before slipping inside the room with Y/N following him. 

Y/N was pretty sure this taking care of Yoongi thing was going to go smoothly thanks to his behavior of not acknowledging literally anyone,

but what happens next makes her think otherwise.

It took Y/N a bit of time to process the fact that another patient was running towards Yoongi, but she was too slow as the patient had tackled him down on the ground with a very loud crash against a table, hitting Yoongi repeatedly with angry shouts of 'Bastard, bastard!’.

“Yoongi!” Y/N shrieked, witnessing as Yoongi let the patient hit him over and over and over, his previously flawless and innocent features already bruised by the violent man’s knuckles and blood started to drip from his nose and onto his white top. Y/N ran to him and tried to pull the unknown patient away by the arm but she was only elbowed in return on the jaw, the impact making her fall on her bottom. Soon, a code team rushes to the scene and pulls the two apart to restrain the both of them.

“Min Yoongi, you fucker!" 

calli’s fic picks - 10/19/16

We’re on the back side of October already! Where does the time go! How is the fandom doing? Last week was such a good episode, I know a lot of you are cautiously optimistic about what’s to come. I know this is a roller coaster, there’ll be ups and downs, but we’re always headed towards the destination and the ride is the whole point. Let’s enjoy it!

Part of enjoying it is reading fanfic. At least for me. 😉 Fic is what gets me through. Lifts me up, makes me think, gives me hope and soothes the ills. Without further ado, here are my fic picks for the week. 

The Predator by @supersillyanddorky06 - Matty is back! And with her came updates for this amazing fic. Don’t ever leave us again because this is exactly the sort of fic we all need right now. The motorcycle ride in the last chapter (a longtime wish of mine for the show, btw) alone is worth the read. Plus there’s mystery? And did I mention the sizzling sexual chemistry! 

Treading Water by ekbelfield - This is an older fic, but OH MY CHEEZITS. GUYS. This is amazing. In it, Tommy and Oliver own a resort/rafting adventure/wilderness adventure place and Felicity is there on a company retreat. Ray is creepy, Oliver is amazing, the flirting is real and it’s just… everything. I never knew I wanted this fic till I read it and now I wish it was 100 chapters long so I could keep reading it. 

The Jerk by LEYTON_NALEY - She posted the last chapter of this story this last week and the ending was just as amazing (moreso, even!) than I’d hoped. This is about Playboy!Oliver, being a jerk and getting stuck by the thunderbolt of love when he meets Felicity. So much sex. So much awesome. 

Picture Perfect by @thebookjumper - This one is killing me softly, folks. I think I’m as excited for new pics (and updates) as Oliver is. This story is an AU of season 2, where Felicity is anonymously sending Oliver faceless sexy pics of herself. But it’s also so much MORE than that. Because she’s already caught feelings and he’s realizing he caught feelings and he wants these pics to be Felicity… there’s a reveal coming and I CANNOT WAIT. 

The Edge of Hope by @thatmasquedgirl - I love the movie Pacific Rim. Seriously adore it. And this is the best Pacific Rim AU I’ve read. She really gets into what drifting is like, what it takes to be a compatible team and the logistics of operating a Jager. Oh and Oliver and Felicity are AMAZINGLY compatible and the partnership and friendship and respect and growing affection and LOVE is just… right on. There’s one more chapter left and I’m hoping she doesn’t break my heart but so far? LOVE THIS ONE. 

Hauntings of the Future by @geniewithwifi - This was an amazing one shot, a heartbreaking glimpse into Oliver when he’s feeling his worst and how Felicity gives him hope. It’s achingly beautiful. If you haven’t read this one yet, please give it a try. It’s truly amazing. 

Recipe for Romance by Weareallstoriesintheend - You would not believe the noises I made when I read this. In this AU, Oliver owns a farm and has a crush on Felicity, whom he meets at the Farmer’s Market. He thinks she has a boyfriend. Thea and Dig and Tommy all give Oliver a hard time about this. Everything is so sweet I just want to die when I think about it. This will put a smile on your face. I promise. 

I hope everyone enjoys the show tonight! I feel like I know NOTHING about what’s going to happen, outside of Cody Rhodes guest starring. 😂 And that’s a good thing! I love not knowing! See you on the other side, fam! 

anonymous asked:

god your portrayal is marvelous

makes whale noises and flop around like a fish out of water. this has been in my inbox for some time now and i can’t tell you how happy it made me ( and still makes me ) to know that others like how i portray hayley! thank you so much for this, anon! i hope you’re still enjoying the roller coaster that is ms. marshall-kenner as i see her. i really did/do appreciate this <3

“You know me. You know everything about me now.  My heart is in your hands and you know you could break it, but wouldn’t you rather make me sing like this?

You know me. I try to find some good in everything.
Since you came along some of this got easy,
cuz all you wanna do is please me my love.

This could be a roller coaster we’re gonna make the most of it.
Whether on top, or we’re going down, you know me.

You know me. I know you. And how I get when I’m uncomfortable.
If I’m too hot or cold,tired,bored,hungry. I’m fine around you.

And you know me. I’ve never been on time for anything. I do apologize I know its such a bother. I promise to try harder for you I will.

And I’ll never hurt you darling you know damn well.
And I’ll never make you wonder if the things that I tell you aint the honest truth.
I bet a lot of folks can sing in harmony but no one would ever know me like you know me.
You know me.”

Lucifer sang playing the piano upbeat notes and tempo his mouth curved up a bit. Possibly amused by the lyrics as he sang them or just something else. Who knew but he seemed in a decent mood.

My Birthday is officially tomorrow!


It’s past midnight here in Australia (it’s the 31st), which means my 23rd birthday is officially tomorrow (Jan 1st).

I promised myself that by the end of this year that I would write to Taylor. I’ve been putting it off for quite some time now as (in all honesty) the thought of doing this gets me quite emotional (…I know you all know the feeling).

So here we go.

Dear @taylorswift

I’m writing to you to purely say THANK YOU.
The last year and a half of my life has been quite a tough roller coaster…but to explain this all a little better I must back track a tad.

Last November I was a victim of an armed robbery. I was at work late one night when a man walked in with a shot gun and threatened my life, whilst also robbing my workplace. This event really took its toll on me. It changed the way I feel, think and act.

It’s a horrible feeling when you feel as though you no longer relate to yourself or old hobbies, interests and habits. For a long time I felt lost, almost as though time was moving but I was unable to catch up. Anxiety is something I’ve struggled with for a long time…and these events defiantly helped feed on that.

The release of 1989 and the World Tour really did help me get through a lot of my anxiety and healing! The way you came into this era so unapologetically happy within yourself and your actions really helped me analyse where I was in life and where I wanted to be. 1989 taught me that it is ok to be myself, even if that is (..at times) someone who is anxious, scattered and a little bit lost. It also taught me that no matter what, I will be clean again.

I just wanted to say thank you. Counting down to this tour and getting lost in the emotions, excitement and energy whilst attending your Melbourne shows honestly gave me a happiness (and glimpse of my ‘old self’) which I at times thought I had lost.

I know you get a lot of fan mail, and I know you work tirelessly to ensure that we feel safe, loved, motivated and hopeful for our futures…but I’m just here tonight to say that 2015 was a rainstorm…but 1989 helped me realise that in the end this storm makes us clean.

Thank you @taylorswift
Words can not describe what you and this tumblr community have helped me through this year.

Much love.

Rose P.

“I never liked haunted houses” (Jack Barakat Halloween imagine)

~Request: hey, an idea for a jack barakat halloween imagine - y/n is scared of haunted houses and their friends left them behind so jack sees them & is like “i don’t even know you but your friends left you behind so i’m gonna hold your hand and get you through this”?? & like fluff i guess?? (obvs)~

(This was requested a couple days ago, and ya know I dont care that its November Im writing a Halloween imagine!)

“Come on Y/N its not that scary” Your best friend whined. You and your friends wanted to go to this spooky carnival since it was almost Halloween. The rest of the Halloween themed carnival was pretty fun; roller coasters, creepy games where you could win ghost stuffed animals, and more, but you were off put the whole time from the haunted house, which only got worse when your friends decided to drag you into the line. Youve personally never been a fan of haunted houses. First time you went in one, a man with no eyes scared you so bad, you hated them with all your being. That didnt stop your friends from dragging you in

‘Maybe it wont be as bad as I remember’ You thought as you waited in line with your friends, trying to distract yourself by stealing pieces of your friend’s cotton candy. 

One of your friends whispered in your ear. “Dont look now, but theres a guy in line who keeps looking at you. The tall one with the blonde streak.” After a moment, you glanced behind you to see a guy talking with his friends, only two people behind. Pretty cute, you had to admit. “Hey quit looking at the guy and come on” You turned around and felt your heart sink. You guys were next in line into the building.

You hid behind your friends.. It wasnt like a normal haunted house with one path. It was almost like a small maze. The synthetic fog enveloped the floor and your legs, the sounds of evil laughter and chain saws in a different area, making some girls scream. You tried staying close to your friends, who were just as afraid as you. While you all walked around, avoiding eye contact of a fairly frightening clown mask on the wall, the three of you made it to a three way fork in the maze. 

“What do we do?” One of your friends asked. “I think we should split up” The other said. Uh fuck no! Before you had time to say that was a bad idea, one friend went to the right and the other went straight. “Uhhh” you shook a bit. Suddenly you heard stomping behind you, and you sprinted left.

Several things tried to jump out at you, recorded screams, axes in walls, fog, and freaky masks on the walls as you tried to find your way out of the haunted maze. You finally couldnt handle it and stopped, leaning on one of the walls and thinking on how to get out of here without having a heart attack. “Hey” someone said behind you.

 You stood up straight and sighed in relief to see it was someone else lost. More specifically the tall kid with the blond streak who your friend said was checking you out. “You ok?” he asked, a considerate smile on his face. “U-uh yeah..” You stuttered, not trying to hide the fact you were shaken up “I never liked haunted houses.” You admitted. “I could tell” the boy laughed. “You didnt look very enthusiastic on the way in here.. I know the way out if you want to get out of here” he said. You smiled at him and nodded. “Come on.” He said and grabbed your hand “My name is Jack by the way..”

Jack leg you through the haunted house, warning you whenever something was going to jump out at you. Every time you tensed up, you could feel his hand squeeze yours gently in hopes it would help. “How do you know this maze so well?” You asked as you followed “The maze is always the same every year, and I come to this every year. I know the ropes” Jack said. “I know its silly” He muttered as you guys made it to the exit. 

When you stepped down the metal stairs and outside again, you sighed in relief and hugged Jack. “Thank you” You said. Jacks face flushed a bit, he smiled and hugged you back.. You could feel your heart race a bit when he wrapped his arms around you. You felt safe. When you pulled away he said “Youre welcome… but you know, if you ever get scared of anything, you can always give me your number and give me a call. I’ll come save you” Jack said with a wink. You could feel your face turn bright red. You didnt have time to answer before you heard your friends call from a distance “Hey sorry to ruin the moment but we got to go” You sighed and looked up at Jack. “I got to go.. but I may want to have a horror movie marathon some time and cant watch alone” You said in attempts to flirt (you werent necessarily a professional but you werent bad at it either) Jack just smiled and handed you his phone. You gave him your number and handed the phone back to him, before your friends finally dragged you away. 

You and your friends sat in a Burger King having dinner. They wouldnt stop asking you about Jack. Who he was, how you two started talking, if you liked him, how big his dick was(in a joking way) etc. You laughed it off and kept eating your chicken fries (making me hungry :c) when your phone buzzed on the table. Yours friends said “Hey its your boyfriend” You smiled and picked up the phone, seeing the new message

Unknown number: Hey its Jack so I dont know if youre busy on Friday night but ya know Fridays are perfect for horror movie marathons ;)

(Yes its not Halloween I do not care haha. Hope you liked it ^^)

how can a set of books do this kind of thing? (Hollstein fanfic)

“I’m enjoying myself, I will read the…” She searched for the seventh book on the almost empty box set. “…Deathly Hallows, even though you spoiled me…” Laura shot her a look. “…or that I effectively figured out everything.”

“You’re an insufferable—” Her breath hitched as Carmilla laced her fingers with hers.

“—know-it-all? Proud of it.” Carmilla said with a smug, big grin.


(Read on AO3)

Pairing: Hollstein

Word count: 4192

Warning: mentions of depression, abuse, grief, heavy feelings…angst at its finest

Summary: A very eager Laura makes Carmilla read her favorite books-all seven of them-while she studies for finals and both find an unexpected bond on the roller coaster and journey of it all. Carmilla is not so great at the feelings thing, but she finds herself doing this a lot here unexpectedly. Laura won’t kiss Carmilla until she finishes all of them, so that’s a motivator.

[A/N: It was supposed to be all fluff, and whatnot but…going through everything triggered some things and there’s angst with heavy mentions of Carmilla’s and Laura’s past. Well, fluff and angst, what a better combination?]


Laura made Carmilla read the Harry Potter series against her will. Well, not to that extreme, but close. She had read the first book before, but didn’t continue because the idea of something as ridiculous as wizards baffled her. Laura’s father got her the series in one of her care packages for college: “I know finals and overarching stress are approaching, but drifting off to the magical world could help, right?”

“It sounds more like he’s setting off the opposite kind of distraction for you here.” Carmilla chuckles as she puts her philosophy book down and sits up her bed. Laura turned her head guessing the look on Carmilla’s face…yes, eyebrow up and a smirk on her face.

“It’s sweet. Besides, they do help me relieve my stress.”

“Care to tell me how?” She saw her girlfriend’s face light up, just as it does whenever she’s about to passionately explain something.

“Well, it’s this entirely different magical universe with characters developed deeply enough to drag you around like one of their own.” Carmila tried to remember when she started reading the first book. Yes, it was an amusing, different world, but maybe she needed to see more to get invested. “Each book is a roller coaster ride. And even though I read all of them at least five times, I enjoy them just the same.” There was that glimmer in her eyes that told Carmilla these books clearly mean a lot to her. Also, the fact that she’s read them five times is another strong hint. “Was it the same for you?”

“I can’t really tell cupcake. I became uninterested by the first one.” The glimmer in Laura’s eyes instantly disappeared and was replaced with a furrowed look.

“What? You never finished th—” She cut herself, grabbed the package and threw herself next to Carmilla on her bed. “You need to read these. Starting now.” Laura’s voice was now demanding as she put the pile of books on Carmilla’s lap.

“And that’s an order?”

The vampire scoffs, only to be surprisingly met by a pair of lips against hers. Hands also frantically cupped her face and it was all too sweet and endearing to Carmilla to question it, so she went along. A hand was now grasping Laura’s hair effectively deepening the kiss and the other one, after putting the books away, dropped to her hips. Lips parted in a gasp surprisingly coming from her and Laura took the opportunity to reposition herself, fully turning to sit on the bed and pushing Carmilla down to straddle her. They were both humming as they were slowly basking in the blissful sensations.

Laura intended on stopping a few moments ago—trying to be a little considerate—but it all washed away on a haze…until one of Carmilla’s hand started to make its way down her arm. She regained control of her thoughts and slowly separated. When she opened her eyes, she was met with an uncharacteristic dumbfounded Carmilla. She was still on the daze Laura was before, which made the tiny girl let out a smirk and looked at her intently. Once Carmilla touched ground, she silently stared at her girlfriend, looking for an explanation, running ideas through her mind. Panic then flashed across her face but Laura calmed her speculations by lacing their fingers together.

Carmilla, not daring to look away, sat up to level herself. “What the frilly hell just happened?” Laura, once again, snorts at her sight. But then she moved to the edge of the bed.

“As of now, I won’t let you, or the books, be a distraction…” Her tone was playful yet challenging. And the realization came like a bucket of ice. “…at least until you read them.”

Carmilla opened her mouth trying to argue, but she was at loss for a moment. “I find this unfair and nonsensical.”

“Well, I stand by it. You need to read them.” She couldn’t quite understand why Laura was insisting so much, but even less, how she decided to agree to the challenge.

“Fine.” She was met with a broad smile and wanted to tease back. “But how, may I ask, will you keep your hands off me?” Carmilla tried to approach to Laura and put a hand on her lap, but before she even got halfway there, her girlfriend jumped up.

“I won’t talk to you. Only when you finish each book.”

“What?” The lack of response was all she needed to get what Laura meant. “Sometimes you’re insufferable, cupcake." Insufferable know-it-all, Laura thought to herself and started laughing. Carmilla frantically looked for book one of the series and started to re-read it.


"How is Voldemort a threat? The dimwit doesn’t even have a proper body?” Carmilla uttered as she closed the book. Without looking, Laura knew she was finished. 

“Dark magic, Carmilla. And it’s You-Know-Who.”

"Whatever. If he’s supposed to last six more books I better see some progress.” Laura laughed to herself and then continued on writing her lit paper.


“I’ve got two observations. Firstly, the fact that they introduce a new way of racial issues is very amusing—especially because it is detached from the human world. It’s something entirely theirs, which draws me to find out more.” Laura was taken by surprise by the sudden analysis, and turned her chair to face her girlfriend. 

“I can’t believe what’s drawing you into the story is the racial subject.”

“Oh, no. It’s not only that.” Carmilla paused. “It’s just making the fictional world I’m reading worthy of going away to. It’s different.”

“Are you just saying this because you want a kiss?”

“Is it working?” She lowered her tone seductively, hoping it would indeed work.

Laura quirked her face in frustration, but didn’t want to let the vampire win this one. “No.”

Bollocks!” Carmilla spat playfully with her best Enlgish accent. She noticed the non-convincing tone on the other end and wasn’t about to let it go just yet.

Carmilla! It really isn’t. You had a second point?” But Laura wasn’t about to let it continue.

“Right. Polyjuice potion can suck it, I shapeshift into a giant cat, who can beat that?”


This time Laura was resting on Carmilla’s lap while the vampire held the book with one hand and ran the other one through the blonde’s hair. It was a slight violation to their agreement; but it was a long day of studying and if she read another piece by Hemingway she was sure she’d burst. It was all beautifully written, really, but there was so much reading she could take. She didn’t have to say anything to Carmilla. When she saw the exhausted look on tiny girl’s face she gladly welcomed her into her arms and there they were. Laura woke up from her daze as she heard a loud thump of a closing book.

"Sirius Black is my new favorite.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Her voice was low and with a huff she sat up on the bed to face Carmilla.

“He really is misunderstood.”

“I know.” Laura was thrilled at how her girlfriend was becoming invested to the different characters and elements of the book. It was always fun to interact with first time, passionate readers of the series, but Carmilla was utterly endearing. She felt connected to her in a unique way, and she made it her mission to make sure she kept on reading if this meant having conversations like this one.

“Laura?” Carmilla’s tone turned dark all of the sudden, and Laura stiffened, taken aback by it.


“The Dementors represent depression.” It wasn’t a question, and Laura knew that, but she nodded anyway. “I—I lost hope not only once, but multiple times in my long life. It was just obscure and lonely, you know?” Her eyes were now heavy on Laura’s. She wasn’t used to it, but this was Carmilla talking—really talking—and she was happy this side of her was starting to show. “Not to be soppy or anything like that, but I want you to know that you’re a bright light amongst all that.”

Laura’s heart clenched and ached right then. Of course she knew Carmilla was dealing with demons, and shadows and surely other dark entities she doesn’t even know exist, and always will…but it has never looked so raw.

“You’re making it very hard not being able to kiss you.” She knew this moment wouldn’t last too long, or Carmilla wouldn’t let it last long, so she decided to relieve the mood with her unconscious thought on a sigh.

“Oh, you are able, sweetheart. You just don’t want to.” A playful hand ran through Laura’s cheek, and smitten look flashed on Carmilla’s eyes.

“You’re such a soppy mess.”


It was a quick motion, but Laura was sure she saw a book fly across the room from the corner of her eye and hit a wall. “You know those are mine, right?” But Carmilla ignored her. 

“A bunch of sophomoric imbeciles.”

“Who?” Ignored with a huff. “Who are you talking about?” The vampire finally caught the voice coming from the desk and answered.

“All of them. It’s infuriating how they don’t stop and think about what they do half of the time.”

“Well, I find it very human, very real, very me.”

“Exactly. Yet I find myself consumed, utterly drawn by it…” Carmilla starts to make her way to Laura. “…just like I am to you.” She places both hands on her girlfriend’s shoulders and she lets them linger for a while before speaking.

“Three books left, Carmilla.” Her face furrows in frustration and she sits on the bed to open the next book.


It’s 3am and she hasn’t been able to put down the book—she didn’t want to. Carmilla almost immediately noticed the shift in the characters’ tone. This was a darker book compared to the others. There were stupid decisions, but there was also anger, a lot of anger. One of the reasons Carmilla couldn’t put the book down was because she wanted to know if it got better. She thought it was ridiculous, but it reminded her of the lonely centuries she had to spend by herself before finding Ell…and ultimately Laura. Harry felt misunderstood, alone, baffled as to why that was, and Carmilla understood it all too well.

“You felt it too?” A small voice came from across the room and Carmilla almost jumped out of her bed. Her eyes focused on the girl in front of her sitting and curled up on her blanket.

“How long have you been up, sweetheart?”

“I never really went to sleep.” At the revelation, she moved towards Carmilla’s bed. “After I decided to give up on my lit paper I just shuffled for hours. You were obviously too into your reading, so I didn’t want to bother you.” As she finally sat beside Carmilla, the vampire could look at her eyes properly. They were pink and glassy, a hint of tears about to fall—again?

“Whoa, Laura, have you been crying?” Carmilla immediately dropped the book wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. There wasn’t a reason to lie as she sniffled and Laura repositions to fit Carmilla’s embrace.

“Yes.” Her voice was raspy. She’s probably been silently crying for hours and Carmilla didn’t notice. The thought hurt her deeply.

“May I know why?”

“Well, did you feel it?”

“I don’t—” Laura cut her off.

“The sense of incomprehensible loneliness. You’re in the darker chapters, correct?”

“Yes, but wh—" But she was cut again.

"I used to read these books with my mom. She bought the first one when it came out. Same with the next ones until…” She took a deep breath before continuing, and it was all it took Carmilla to understand everything. The connection with the books, and how insistent she was about it all. She wanted her to be part of it, which Carmilla found very sweet. “…until she couldn’t.”

“This is why they mean so much to you.” Laura nods with a heavy, trembling sigh. She’s never talked about her mother to Carmilla until now, but she was willing to. She needed it.

“I re-read them all after she died. It was my coping mechanism. But the fifth book struck me the most. I became distant, but wasn’t really aware of it, so it was frustrating to carry that energy around like a shadow…only that instead of walking with me it was dragging me down…” She paused to look at Carmilla. She looked calm but attentive. The vampire took one of Laura’s hands and intertwined their fingers together, followed by a kiss on the back of them. She was patiently waiting for her girlfriend to continue, but she didn’t. Then she thought about how the purpose of all was also to connect with Laura.

“His feelings resonate with mine before meeting you. After I woke up in this century I also had a shadow. And maybe I always did, but it was only then I noticed. It was a terrible, terrible eternity of constantly confir—confirming Ell’s statement.” At the mention of Ell, Laura stiffened, at which Carmilla responded giving her a kiss on the cheek. "It’s not that I didn’t care back then, because I did—I really did…” Carmilla’s tone turned heavy and dark. “But in order to survive I needed to disconnect myself. So after I woke up it was all so present.” The realization of the anger and regret Carmilla felt was excruciating, and to think she had to still live an eternity of abuse was unbearable…until she met Laura. It was the first time since being tied up that Carmilla talked about her past in detail. Laura could only imagine a slight part of how terrible it feels.

“Isn’t it weird? How we’re not aware of our shadows until something terrible happens?”

“I believe it’s realistic. We’re all naïve until we’re not.”

They stayed silent for a second. Only the ghost of their hands caressing. Laura has thought about it many times—Carmilla’s shadows. She was hard to read most of the time, but every time Laura gets a glimpse of her sorrow she ought to take note. 334 years of miserable eternity, as Carmilla puts it, yet she was capable of opening her doors to Laura—or at least she’s been trying to.

“This book made me realize what I was doing to myself and to everyone else. So I stopped closing the open doors around me.” She drawls so softly it wasn’t almost enough to wake up the vampire from the trance they were in.

“I’m glad, cupcake.”

Silence made its presence again, but Laura still felt bad. “Carm?”

“Yes?” This time her gaze was soft on her.

“I’m sorry.” The vampire didn’t say anything, but squeezed Laura’s hand intrigued nonetheless. “I’m sorry for triggering your memories. I mean—I want to tell you things and connect with you but…” She lost her train of thought for a second but quickly recovered it. “I have my shadow, but you’ve got many more. You’ve been here for so long and I feel stupid talking about myself someti—”

“No, Laura. Don’t even think about belittling yourself, that’s not my intention. The number of years, or shadows, or whatever…they don’t determine the importance of someone’s pain.”

“I know that. It’s just…” She paused again and sighed. “I’m sorry.” The last sentence was delivered with a yawn and Laura knew she needed some rest, but she wasn’t about to move away. Not now.

“And I’m sorry about your mom, sweetheart. You need to tell me more about her because she sounds incredible.”

She was, thought Laura as she closed her eyes.


Laura woke up on Carmilla’s lap. She was still reading book five with a somber look that made Laura’s heart sink, since she knew it only got worse.

She decided not to ask, but reached for Carmilla’s free hand. The latter jolted, but relaxed immediately. Laura then started to study the vampire’s movements in silence. How her eyebrows quirked with probably the mention of something ridiculous. Her heavy sighs when she reached the end of a chapter. And then the sudden still face she had as she reached the last page.

“Harry’s only family is gone.” Laura also hears the stillness in Carmilla’s voice and sits up, searching for her gaze preoccupied. “This is so appalling.” It was hard to read, or maybe it was just expressionless, she couldn’t tell.


“Harry’s only family is gone.” The last word was emphasized with a choke, and as Carmilla pulled her knees to her chest and face to her hands, Laura put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. The sobs came in waves and they took both Carmilla and Laura by surprise.

Laura knew where Carmilla was going with this and she was ready to listen. It was indeed a roller coaster ride, and this was the ninety degrees drop of it all. Had she known these brought a different side of Carmilla, Laura would have thought twice before lending them. It wasn’t her intention to hit her this way. She was meticulously trying to peek through Carmilla’s walls her own way, but the unplanned connection she figured wasn’t a bad option either.

“I lost them.” Then she buried her face on Laura’s shirt. “Twice.” She was grasping so hard at her shirt Laura thought it would rip…but she didn’t care. Nothing was more important than this moment right now. “I’ve lost so many people.” Grief, sadness, those are strange entities that come and go in waves—unexpected waves—and she was going to let Carmilla feel them fully.

“I know…” It’s all Laura managed to say with a hand now stroking Carmilla’s soft hair. She kissed her temple so delicately as if trying to wipe everything away. Of course, she couldn’t.

“I had family, and then I was alone.” She lifted her head from her girlfriend’s chest. “Laura, do you know what the worst feeling really is?” Her eyes were red, puffy and lost…very lost. And then it stroke Laura that Carmilla may have never had a pillar to mourn before—a safe haven.

“What is it?”

“Loneliness.” She pauses to take a deep breath, even though she doesn’t need one. “It doesn’t matter if they made you suffer, or laugh, or cry. When they’re gone, there’s something inside of you that goes with them too, and you feel so lonely.” Laura understood. She understood the feeling, not like Carmilla did, but she understood. It hit her and she was now crying with her…crying the wave away until they fell asleep.


It was quiet in their dorm room. After Carmilla broke down on Laura’s arms the other night, she continued on reading the next book without pausing. They agreed that it was impossible to be too apart from each other, so every now and then Laura would approach towards Carmilla for comfort—or out of plain habit. Enough to not be a distraction.

“Ok, so tell me your theories at this point.” Carmilla was reading resting on Laura’s lap while the latter re-read one of her required books to find more important points to talk about on her lit paper. She eyed occasionally as her girlfriend was approaching the end of book six, and once she did, she peeked her curiosity.

“Well, for starters, Harry has to be a horrocrux, otherwise, why make it such a big deal? It would be a shame if he isn’t.” Laura didn’t think Harry was a horrocrux before. “Hence, he will die.” But she did think he was going to die. “Also, Snape is such a double agent. I mean, it’s clear.”

“That he betrayed Dumbledure’s trust?”

“Oh, no. That he’s doing everything for the dimwit Potter that is—wait, scratch that—the woman he loves.”

“How corny.” Laura mocks.

“Very. Oh, and that adventure they plan on going…full of angst and drama.” Laura quirked an eyebrow because everything up to this point was true. “I also foresee a big battle…” Right. “…at Hogwarts.” Right. “And important deaths.” And right again. “Am I close?”

A repressed huff was all Carmilla needed to confirm her theories. And a satisfied grin was all Laura needed to get the strength to kick her girlfriend out from her lap. With no lap and no comfort, Carmilla scowls, but before she can verbally protest Laura cuts her thoughts. “You just know everything, don’t you?”

“Did you just let me spoil myself? You’re supposed to tell me ‘you need to read it, Carmilla’, or ‘I won’t spoil the fun for you, Carmilla.’” Laura just laughed at the very terrible impersonation of her. There was something in Carmilla’s high-pitched voice that caused Laura to always lose it. Carmilla’s glad she has that effect. And even though she didn’t intend to cause it, the sight of Laura laughing was one Carmilla’s favorite facet of hers.

“It’s just—everything you said is on point.”

“To be fair, it’s a little predictable.”

“Possibly for a 334 year old vampire who has read a life’s worth of literature, and theories, and—”

“I’m enjoying myself, I will read the…” She searched for the seventh book on the almost empty box set. “…Deathly Hallows, even though you spoiled me…” Laura shot her a look. “…or that I effectively figured out everything.”

“You’re an insufferable—” Her breath hitched as Carmilla laced her fingers with hers.

“—know-it-all? Proud of it.” Carmilla said with a smug, big grin.


All was well? That’s it?”

“You get a happy ending.”

“True.” Carmilla’s head was once again on Laura’s lap—this was her favorite position—and her eyes were now heavy on Laura’s. The latter was stroking Carmilla’s hair looking blankly at it, but she felt the burn and turned to look at her girlfriend.

They maintained that position for a while until Laura flicked away to Carmilla’s lips and went down to kiss her softly—so softly. But they were gone too soon and Carmilla found herself once again in a daze.

“I read all seven books for you, Hollis.” Her eyes were closed, but Laura could tell she was teasing. “I deserve my prize. If you’re finished with your studies, of course.”

She is finished with studying for the day. “And what would that be?” She is startled by how quick Carmilla sat up.

“Dance with me.” And how she was out of bed.

“You know I don’t know how to dance, specially waltz.” She was suddenly feeling shy and dumb about the whole thing.

“I know, but I liked book four when they had that ball, and then on this book with the wedding. I…” She hesitated. “I don’t know… I want to dance with you.”

“Would you teach me for posterity?”

“For posterity.” Carmilla extended a hand to Laura, which she gladly took.

They positioned themselves traditionally and Carmilla started swaying as she could to an imaginary tune in her head, pulling Laura with her. She then hummed that imaginary tune out loud to help Laura and she started to get it. Carmilla slowly came to a stop to check in.

“Did you get it?”

“I think so. One, two, three, four. One, two…” She moved at the count with Carmilla and she reached closer to Laura’s ear and softly started to hum her tune again. “Thank you.”

“For?” She extended her arm spinning her girlfriend, looking intensely at her.

“Reading those. They mean a lot to me.” It was a graceful spin. Laura was a fast learner. And even though it was a tiny space, it was enough for them to move happily. 

“I know…they now mean a great deal to me as well.” She meant it. She didn’t think for a second a book series—initially intended for kids—would get to mean so much to her. But it was a big part of Laura’s past, present and future. It explained unspeakable aspects of her and it got Carmilla to show herself to Laura—her own unspeakable aspects. Anything that could do that had to mean a great deal to her.

They were silent for a while but it didn’t last long. Probably not even a minute.

“So which house would you be in?” Carmilla genuinely laughed. Of course Laura would decide to have a conversation in the middle of a graceful dance.

“Definitely Slytherin.” Carmilla drew her girlfriend closer.

“Is it because of your snarky intellect?” Laura scuffed while she moved her free hand from Carmilla’s shoulder to the back of her neck.

“More like my passionate individualistic loyalty.”

“To…?” Laura sounded hopeful, so Carmilla spun her around one more time.

“You, my one safe place.” She placed a kiss on Laura’s temple, and then traveled down her cheek, jawline, up her nose—all between whispered ‘I love you’s—until finding her soft lips to bask in the peacefulness of it all—the peacefulness of her safe haven.

The books provided them something necessary for their bond to strengthen in such a way it promised a forever.

the signs as summer things (based on people i know)
  • pisces: jumping into a pool or lake and hearing everything go quiet
  • aquarius: exploring the beach at night
  • capricorn: backyard sleepovers with your best friend
  • sagittarius: roller coasters and sticky popsicle fingers
  • scorpio: sitting on a dock, feet in the water and liquor in a paper bag
  • libra: flowy sundresses and picnics in the shade
  • virgo: reading on the back porch on a lazy day
  • leo: jumping off the high dive, laughing when you get water up your nose
  • cancer: sunglasses all the time, loitering inside air-conditioned stores
  • gemini: stuffing yourself with watermelon and then laughing so hard your stomach hurts
  • taurus: sleeping in cute pajama shorts
  • aries: water gun battles