i know its been hard on you

Hey cuties! I have an exciting announcement to make! I am going to be attending Sakura-Con this year in Seattle, Washington! 

I’ve never been to Washington state before so I am SO EXCITED! (I am staying with the lovely TABBY so I know its going to be a blast!) This was a very last minute decision on my part so Im sorry that I’m announcing it so late! I don’t know how often I’ll be traveling to West Coast cons in the future so if you’ll be attending this year I would loooooove to meet you!!! I don’t quite know what Im wearing yet (its hard to pack since I’m flying) but I’ll keep you posted! I’ve also.. never flown by myself before so Im incredibly nervous T_T Please send me all of your good vibes lol.


But anyway!!!!!!!!! Im so excited!!!!!!! I have soooo much to plan now with such little time haha! I hope to see you all there~~!!

“I felt you in my heart today.”

Charlie. So she’s been struggling lately - just as Mary seems to have worked through a lot of stuff regarding not going home, Charlie seems to be just starting processing it and she’s grieving and its coming out in al sorts of ways (like telling me I have to be dead soon so she can see her mom, or she’s putting me in jail so she can see her mom). Drop off at daycare has been touch and go, but when she’s having a hard time, its horrendous - not the normal tearful don’t leave then is fine two seconds later that she does occasionally, but blood-curdling screaming mommy mommy don’t leave me. Today was particularly brutal and she was wrapping herself around me legs and none of the diversions that usually work worked. I know some of the teachers  are exasperated (new teachers which is part of the problem) and they always say, she’s fine after you leave, and that may be true, but knowing what I know about what she’s going through right now, I just couldn’t leave her this morning. So I took her with me and we ran errands for an hour and I took her back (very grateful for a flexible work from home schedule today). We talked and talked and we made some deals (that involved stickers, not my fav, but whatever if it works at this point). 

One of the things we talked about was our love strings. I may have mentioned this book before but “The Love String” has turned out to be really good for us. Its bordering on the crossing the lying line for me, but it works. Or so I thought. It talked about how you are connected to every person you love though your love strings and it doesn’t matter how far apart you are, it reaches, or if you are angry, or whatever, you are still connected with your love strings. And this has worked well for us - they have love stings with bio mom and bio sibs, etc. So after we left and she was still upset she talked about how she misses me when I’m gone and she wants to be with me 24/7 (she’s afraid I won’t come back one day like bio mom). So I brought up the love strings, which had always worked well in the past, or so I thought, and we talked about how even when we’re not together we are always connected and if she misses me she just has to think of me and I will be right there in her heart. And she said no, I don’t feel it! I don’t feel it in my heart! And was super upset about it.  And then I realized maybe I had made a mistake - that the metaphor was too far over her head and the lying about the there being actually love stings was well a lie and it didn’t work and made things worse.

Then I picked her up from school this afternoon and the first thing she said to me was, “I felt you in my heart today at nap time.” 

So maybe it worked after all. 

anonymous asked:

ok look i know you're busy but seriously... how hard is it to post a chapter?? you haven't posted in like two weeks and im just so sick of writers posting things with cliffhangers and then not following through. you are seriously the WORST. how about you just don't post things if your not going finish.

Here’s a thought… just don’t read my stuff?

I’m sorry for not posting for so long, I apologize all the time, but school is seriously kicking my ass right now and grades are always going to be a priority for me. So I’m sorry y’all have to wait but I’m not sorry for focusing on school.

i dont really know how to explain how nice is being part of the monsta x fandom,. monbebes are truly nice people trying to make the boys proud of themselves and their hard work. i dont think we can consider ourselves a small fandom but i know we are not really large yet, but monbebes work really hard for the boys, we support them in the way we can. you will never see monbebes bashing other groups, cause we are only here to make our boys happy, because we dont want to see them feeling guilty for not achiving high goals. we are slowly getting there, things just get better. even tho its been almost two years since their debut they improved so much, some members feel more comfortable talking on variety shows, other members are appearing on commercials and dramas, other members are composing and producing their own songs. i hope that with every comeback monsta x gains new fans. i promise you its worth it.

barbiebones  asked:

i've been sculpting miniatures since 2010 but I cant get strawberries right at all :( They always look like shit. I've tried youtube, japanese tutorials.. nothing is sticking.. Help/advice?

2010?? thats amazing!!! im sure you can create some awesome stuff now!! :D

its hard to address the issue when i dont know what you dislike about your strawberries, but i will do my best to describe my process and see if that helps!! i first use a white translucent clay to sculpt the shape of the strawberry on the tip of a needle. i then use a nail dotting tool that comes to a point (like a normal dotting tool, but tapered toward the end?? i guess???? you could file a smaller one down to achieve this shape if you dont have one) to make the seed indentations. you dont want them to be completely random, they do have a pattern to them. 

then i bake, and color with a diluted pinky-orange alcohol ink toward the top to represent the sort of coloring found here

after that dries i do a few thin coats of a vibrant red alcohol ink. multiple thin coats give the strawberries that juicy glossy look!! i unfortunately havent found a good way to give the illusion of the tiny yellow seeds, but i find most miniatures read perfectly fine without them.

for the leaves, i paint yellow tissue paper various shades of green and cut out  sets of leaves with manicure scissors. glue them on, coat them with a matte glaze, and coat the rest of the strawberry with a glossy glaze. that should get you a pretty good result!! 

to me, the hardest part is getting the strawberry to keep its shape as im adding the seed indents. this is because i use premo which is a very soft clay. i suggest a firmer clay like fimo professional or even kato polyclay for projects like this, if you have the same problem as me. 

I really hope you can make some strawberries youre proud of soon!! if youd like a video tutorial, im thinking about filming a few so let me know. :D

anonymous asked:

You've been my hero for a long time. You helped me before when I couldn't see a future. (I still can't really but its w/e) and seeing you happy just warms my heart. You've fought so hard and for so long. I'm glad you are getting time with loved ones to rest and rebuild together.

You know, just last night I was in a huge stadium and my fear of heights had my heart bursting outta my chest and my hands sweating for hours. While we were leaving I couldn’t look up at all, I had to stare straight down at each step I was taking or else I’d get vertigo and feel sick. And sometimes that’s how it goes. Looking ahead doesn’t always help, and focusing on the next immediate thing can be what takes you to the finish line.

My point is, even if you can’t see your future doesn’t mean you won’t make it there. If you can see today, that’s already a step in the right direction.

But thank you from the bottom of my heart, I’m having a blast and I hope you’re doing well too :)

Best Friend Starters!

{Text}: Go to bed and stop texting me. This isn’t the intended use of emojis.

“Hey, I read about this super illegal thing and I think we should do it.” 

“GET DOWN FROM THERE BEFORE I HAVE TO COME GET YOU!” 

“Do you think foods have feelings? Maybe that gumball I dropped today was sad I didn’t eat him…”

“No, we can’t buy five hundred pugs.” 

“What do you mean I’m too loud? It’s not like I’m SHOUTING IN YOUR EAR!” 

“If I go down you’re coming with me! This is a mutual effort!” 

“I’m not picking your drunk ass up at three in the morning anymore.” 

“Stop coming into my house to sleep on my couch! Someday you’re going to find the door locked.” 

“Oof, get off! You’re too heavy!” 

“I honestly think you belong in a cell, but again, I guess we’d be cellmates.” 

“Now who the fuck took my skittles? It was you, wasn’t it, you smug little-” 

“Somehow I don’t think the teacher believed our story about the sword wielding elves breaking the window…” 

“BUDDY SYSTEM IS IMPORTANT, YOU MIGHT GET LOST! NOW GIMME YOUR HAND.” 

“I don’t care if you didn’t wanna share, it’s mine now!” 

“YOU ARE A DICK. Also I’m at your door, let me in.” 

“C’mon, smile…I’ll tickle you if I have to!” 

“You’re sad. Don’t lie to me. I see the pouty thing you do.” 

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?” 

“You can’t even reach me to hit me, shortie-OW!!” 

2

Joyeux Noël à @abadmeanman! I was your @mlsecretsanta 💝🎅✨

It’s a mutual reveal scenario! In which its a direct mirror of the ever infamous umbrella scene (sans the umbrella and rain).

(Shocking, I know) 

So a for the longest ive been wracking my brain on what to get you. Honestly i considered many possibilities and i still am but those, i decided, were better off as separate projects ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) because i wanted to go for a sfw approach.

I know it’s not much (trust me i wish i could have done more bc ur a cool dude) but this is the best i could do atm. it was my first time working with animations and i came across a lot of technical difficulties (like finding the right size so the finalized thing fits under 1MB or tweaking with the settings so it doesnt look wonky) but im actually proud of the outcome :)

anyways, i hope u like this and that you have a neato x-mas and a happy new year!💛🎉🎅

i think posts like “you’re deserving of love even if you have xy symptoms, u dont need to change yourself for someone!” come from a good place and are even true in a Lot of senses, esp on the surface level, but like… i feel like sometimes they kind of stop short of necessary self-awareness. like, sometimes symptoms DO make us hard to be in a relationship with, and like… we genuinely do need to work on those things, if we can, you know? yeah, my being emotionally distant ain’t my fault, but i also get that if i don’t put any emotional labor into a relationship i can’t seriously expect any back, u know.

like self-love is important… its nigh impossible to get anywhere near self-improvement if we’re too overwhelmed by self-hate. i know, i’ve been there! but like… it’s important to know that some level of working on ourselves, of compromising in a relationship, is not only good, but its also very normal! relationships r give & take my friends

Congrats on this crazy huge milestone, Jack!

I want to say something, because I haven’t ever properly done it before… so uh. Jack, if you see this. I want you to know that you honestly saved my life. Probably several times. I can’t remember when I started watching your videos, and I don’t know if that’s just because I feel like I always have been or if my sense of time is really that bad. But in any case… I can say with confidence that you have been a beacon of light at my darkest moments. I don’t watch your videos as much as I’d like to, because I’m sorta convinced that I’ll ruin it for myself somehow, but every time that I do watch I can’t help but feel happy at least for a little while. Thank you doesn’t seem good enough, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

And thank you to everyone in the community that has ever given me support as well. I appreciate it more than you could ever know.

this is your daily reminder to not compare yourself to others. move at your own pace and improve in a way you can. remember this is your journey and the fact the it differs from someone else’s doesnt make you less than them. as long as you keep going you will achieve your goals, so heads up, you can do this!

An Actual Angel™ 

at some point I’ll learn how to properly draw her, meanwhile have a Linna

5

Live with me forever now,

pull the blackout curtains down. 

We could be immortals.

-Immortals - Fall Out Boy

(Click pics to enlarge)

2

I sometimes wish I’d stayed inside


my mother.

Never to come out. 

I want to tell the boys that “It’s okay to cry. Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak. We are all human. It’s okay.”