i know it's not the best but whatevs

My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.

You can call an experience or relationship traumatic even if there’s no one you can/want to blame for what happened.

If you were traumatized by what happened, that impact is real even if it isn’t anyone’s fault. There are situations where everyone involved does their best with the information and abilities they have and someone still experiences trauma.

Abuse is not the only traumatic experience, just a common one. Not having your needs met for totally blameless reasons can be traumatic. Having your autonomy taken away by illness or other random chance can be traumatic. Many traumatizing experiences can happen when you’re utterly alone. Even ‘ordinary experiences’ can be traumatic in some contexts.

There’s no reason for trauma that’s ‘too silly’. If you’re traumatized, it’s not because you’re 'too sensitive’ and it doesn’t automatically mean you’re minimizing other people’s experiences.

You’re allowed to acknowledge your trauma. You’re allowed to look at experiences you’ve had through the lens of trauma. You’re allowed to grieve and process your traumatic experiences even if you don’t understand why they were traumatic or if similar experiences didn’t tramautize others you know.

You’re allowed to acknowledge how badly you were hurt even if you can’t point a finger at one person who hurt you.

i hope louis is surrounded by infinite amounts of love on his birthday and i hope that he feels happy and proud and appreciated and just so so so so loved because he is……he’s so fucking loved, he’s loved by his mom even if she’s not here physically anymore, he’s loved by his siblings, the rest of his family, his boyfriend, his bandmates, his friends, and his millions of fans all around the world. i know this is going to be such a hard birthday for him, but i hope he feels that warmth radiating all around him because he deserves it more than anyone. we’re so so so lucky that he was brought into this world 25 years ago and i’m just so glad that he’s out there existing and i’m so grateful to be his fan.

happy birthday, louis.

i’d like to know where any of the “gabriel reyes is the boss from hell” stuff spawns from because have you listened to his actual voicelines? yeah he sounds kinda rough but like 1/3 of his lines are dead guy puns and one is him purring “haven’t i… killed you somewhere before?” like its the worlds best pickup line. gabriel seems like the kinda boss that lets you stop by a pizza place on the way back as long as you get extra breadsticks. he seems like the kinda boss that’ll let you skirt around the deadline bc he knows you’re exhausted and nobody ever turns anything in on time around this place anyways. made the blackwatch uniforms armor and whatever the hell else you wanna wear, he doesn’t give a damn.

JACK is the one with the “you didn’t make the cut” and the “thats SIR to you” lines like ???? how yall always getting this backwards

here for all my baby aces.

here for all the ace teens being told they can’t be ace.

here for all the ace teens being told their sexuality is somehow putting others at risk (it’s not.)

here for all the teens who aren’t sure, but don’t really get all this sex stuff.

here for all the ace teens who got really worried after health class.

here for all the teens being told they’re just late bloomers.

here for all the teens who just are trying on different labels to figure out which one fits best.

here for all the teens who DO like the label ace, but are scared of all the discourse.

here for all the teens who don’t want a label, but just want to live their lives.

its okay. you’re okay. I love you. You have a right to try out whatever labels you want, or none at all. whatever you choose has no ill effect on other teens, and I will fight anyone who tells you differently. But most of all, know that you have time. If you want to identify as something now, and either keep it or change that later, great! You aren’t too young to try to understand yourself. If you just want to enjoy being a kid and not deal with sexuality right now, also great! You know what’s best for you. You have time.

its been said before but this is a daily reminder that mental illness does not excuse toxic behavior

it can offer an explanation, but you cannot treat someone with cruelty and then just like “well sorry it’s my mental illness i can’t help it”

i don’t have a solution, because i know that mental illness by nature can be difficult or impossible to control, but do not let a friend or partner or parent or anyone be a dick to you and say that you have to put up with it because that’s just how they are

or even worse, guilt trip you about being upset with them

i am saying this as someone with a diagnosed mental illness that im on medication for:

mental illness does NOT give anyone the right to treat you badly

and if someone tries to excuse their toxic behavior by claiming it’s mental illness and they cannot help it, that’s a red fucking flag

Designing a spell:

The best way to learn about magic is to write your own spells. Here is how I break down my own spell writing process.

How will it function

For some people spells are circuits; power source, to module, to switch and all connected. For some, its a mini ceremony that mimics what you want to happen in simplistic terms, sympathetic magic with poppets and writing your intention down. For others, it a map of direction to the spirit, deity or force you are appealing towards. You can use a mix of all styles, none or whatever, but knowing beforehand will help you make the spell.


I’ve done a post already on how the means of a spell can affect the outcome in my opinion, but a good challenge is to think about what materials you have in the cupboard to make it work. A candle spell can yield the same result as a sigil, but if you really care about the outcome, think about the medium behind it. A sigil on paper tends to look more intimidatiing to me, the black ink and mysterious symbols on paper tend to put people off if they are unsure of what it is,so I use it for warding mgic very often. Whereas a candle gives off heat and light, its good for healing and more emotional aspects of magic. But that is just my opinion, take into consideration your own interpretations.


Everything from how you plan to ‘feed’ the spell to what you ‘store’ it in can be tweaked. I like to think in this department about waste not want not, I listen to my music quite loudly, so I like to stake that extra noises out my phone and do a little sigil on my earphones for banishing, so bad vibes are kept at bay. Need charge something with energy? Why not use body heat or a spritz of a certain perfume to get your point across? Everything yields something different in magic, so be careful.


Not everyone obeys ‘as above so below’ but you can think about how timing might affect your work; a crossraods spell in rushhour might scatter better than at a slower pace, a purifiction spell when its raining might well add to the energy you are looking for.

More of ____ Less of _____

This helps hone your intention and gives you a chance to double whammy your issue; creepy person at your workplace you can’t get rid of via conventional means? More peace and less creepy guy. Need some more focus for an upcoming exam? Less distraction, more focus. Attack both ends.

Conjure what you need not what you want.

Okay so this might be a matter of opinion, but I find it far more helpful to do a spell for a job interview success than immeadiate cash, or some other example. There are exceptions to this, of course, but keep it in mind.

Engaging your senses

You don’t necessarily need to be smelling, hearing, touching, tasting and seeing all at the same time to have a good spell, but its worth spending time thinking about what senses affect ou and how. For example, a health spell might be worth making in the form of food stuffs. Think also about the elimination of a sense; a spell for silencing an individual done in complete slilence, perhaps?

Write down the perameters

This is a do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do one… I am always forgetting the rules for my own spells, so just make a little note. I find myself being more conciousof my magic if a spell is only meant to last so long. If your spell affects a particular individual, think about writing down the terms and conditions, especially if it is a curse.

Begining, middle, end

One of my fave ways of doing spell is just ‘I’m gonna charge you object’ and then I charge it with an action, like I kiss my perfume vials for confidence, or blow on a hoodie to instill it with warmth, or stir comfort into tea, and then I nod or smile or clap. It marks the beggininng and ending of the magicing process so that it seperates the middle as the magical part, it doesn’t need to be fancy, it could b a simple ‘so mote it be’ or ‘in your name’ if you’re working with a deity. It really does help mark out the magic part of the magic, as well as letting it end in your head.


In a place far away from everything and everyone, you are the one I want to be with forever.


Sorry for a super late christmas comic but i had to push myself into finishing something.

The year was great but ended less jolly then i wanted but its ok life goes on.
I wish you guys a happy new year and i hope you had a great christmas or whatever you celebrated. The point is i hope you had a great time and I hope this new year will be fine, I know last year we mad bad choices and things didnt go well, elections, strikes, people being hurt, the drought. 

I wish and hope for the best for all of you with kind hearts I hope this year can make you stronger I wish you and your family safe and happy I wish you succeed this year and I wish a lot of animals will be safe and loved 

No matter what they say just follow your dream or plan I believe in you 


I feel like moftiss is intentionally building tension between John and Sherlock. They have very limited physical interaction….and think back to any other tv show or story with two or more implied male “best friends”. They’re always hugging or messing with each other in some form or fashion- there is a physical connection bc they’re ‘comfortable’ with each other’s presence, why wouldn’t they be? I know Sherlock is supposed to be different or whatever nonhuman bs u wanna throw around..but ShErLoCk and jOhN NeVER toUCh. AND WHEN THEY DO. TheRE IS EXTREME EMPHASIS ON THE MOMENT. WHY CREATE SUCH A PHYSICAL TENSION BETWEEN TWO CHARACTERS IF THEYRE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE 'BEST MATES’??? AnSWER??! YOU DONT!!!!!¡¡

(keep reading for evidence)

Keep reading

#1 hoe tip anyone could ever give you

Look girl i want you to fuck whoever you want to fuck. Fuck yo best friend fuck yo friend fuck a stranger fuck your boyf fuck your girlf , Fuck whoever (be safe about it!) as long as your happy doing it.

But that does NOT include someone who is in a relationship/married. I dont care if you love them and they love you, or their partner isnt satisfying them enough, whatever the case may be, it still does not justify how fucked up and disloyal you guys are being. 

Dont try and pull any shit on me like ‘You dont know what its like to be in that situation’ because all of this is coming from someone who fucked around with their best friends boyfriend. Yeah, I know what the fuck im talking about. Let me give you a little background details on the situation. I fucked around with her boyfriend for abt 3 months and it changed me as a person. He made me feel like the most special girl in the world when i was with him, but any other time i never felt more disrespected and degraded. Theres no pride in the side girl title, theres no pride in fucking somebody who isnt yours to fuck. On top of that, the guilt ate me alive. And karma sure as hell kicked my ass for it, because when we ended up dating, he turned out to be a mentally unstable piece of shit who emotionally, sexually, and physically abused me. On top of that he cheated on me multiple tips. Shocker. (keep in mind that if you end up dating the boy thats cheating with you, hes going to cheat on you too. once a cheater, always a cheater, youre no exception.) That was a year ago and ive grown a lot as a person since then, but it is sincerely my biggest regret and it still haunts me. You deserve to respect yourself. You dont deserve to be a dirty secret and a side girl, just like the other person doesnt deserve to be betrayed like that, and just like how the guy/girl whose cheating doesnt deserve either of you. 

And i dont want anyone reading this to think im only going after the side person because to be quite honest, the cheater is the dirtiest one in this situation. Im just trying to tell you guys to avoid a dirty situation of hurt feelings and broken hearts.

Ive been reading a lot of similair blogs to mine encouraging the side girl position and i just cant back it. If you dont agree, unfollow me, you wont be missed. 

anonymous asked:

let us discuss dashiel and/or harvey trying to fight off something that is attempting to latch itself onto his face and insert babies down his throat.

I mean…… LET US. Bringing back one of m’fave gifs for this occasion:

So first of all I feel like they would definitely have different approaches to fighting this thing off:

Harvey would maintain relative calm, knowing that when you encounter an agitated creature that is bigger and more powerful than you, the best thing you can do is just let it do its thing, unless you sense an IMMEDIATE intent to kill. (Unfortunately Harv has been through something like this before, eh @sweetpeasins??) ;) Anyway, Harvey would relax his body while attempting, if he had a free hand, to reach for anything he could use as a weapon.

Dash, on the other hand, would immediately give into whatever his fight-or-flight instincts were telling him in the moment. Which would inevitably just amount to him flailing – and then the creature would shoot him full of pheromones or tranquilizers or whatever, and the eggs/young would be inserted from there.

Either way, the menfolk are getting thoroughly engorged in this situation. ;))))

this blog right now is a mess and i know it

its a mix of being hopeful, and hopeless. so yeah, just to let you know i’m still on the fence about how real this was. however, i will be throwing shade because even if we get a full on new episode of the best storyline ever, and a kiss, and whatever: this was not ok, in anyway. Specially the “who you really are doesnt matter” or however the fuck that was phrased. 

I know its hard right now but you will get over it. You will get over how his eyes sparkled when he held you tight and it felt like he wasn’t letting go. But he did, and you need to realize that he is not coming back. Pick yourself up, stop crying, and get out there. Have the best time of your life, go to parties, have sleepovers with your friends, do whatever you enjoy. Get your mind off of him because if he couldn’t see you past your flaws then he isn’t worth it baby, now its time for you to understand that.

The tech department at my former high school was at the complete end of the school in its own hallway where no one went ever and the teachers down there just fixed all the other teachers broken shit made everything, and did whatever in the world they wanted. They had three 3-D printers and just printed the stupidest but also the coolest shit. There were two of them and they been best friends for who knows how long, they went to high school and college together and I think they knew each other even before then so one would be teaching and the other would be wondering around doing something. Class was often interrupted.

In my middle school we had a very old tech teacher who could build just about fucking anything, and, he must have been 70 years old and 100 pounds but he still rode his motor cycle and parked it outside the tech room everyday. And every class my eight grade year (when he was not my teacher) he’d wander around in the back and bring out whatever we were learning about that day. He took no shits and was the wittiest man I’d ever met.

anyways when isak and even get back together isak probably gives up smoking because he knows even can smell it on him/his clothes, and he knows that it tempts even and makes him want to do it again, so he just decides one day that he’ll stop. it wasn’t even a huge part of his life anyways, it was just a social activity really?? and even’s really adamant, like “no shut up, stop it you don’t have to, i’m fine, its whatever, do whatever you want” but isak insists and brings up a million studies that talk about how bad smoking is for you and tells even that its screwing up his lungs, and would probably give him cancer anyways so its really for the best. but despite the fact that isak wants to convince even its a selfish act thats to only help his own health, even Knows that isak is only doing is because he’s worried and wants to help in any way he can, and isak’s not super great at expressing himself verbally or saying any of this to even, so he does stupid things like this, and to everyone else doesn’t seem like a huge deal, but to even it just shows so much love and affection and concern that he doesn’t really know what to do but feel his heart swell in his chest and accept it.

I never understood this tbh. The success of the Harry Potter movies should have led the way for more movies of this genre to be encouraged and produced (and make a lot of book fans happy). And yet series like Artemis Fowl and Septimus Heap had very few attempts at movies that in the end never saw the light of day to begin with.

And when Percy Jackson did get its movie adaptation it was completely different to the original. Like.. why??