i know it's not much but i hope you like it!

You know what? I’ve never been happy that I’m gay. I may say that I’m happy with my sexuality when straight people ask me, but it’s because the truth is so much harder to explain. I’m not happy, because I would 100% in a heartbeat choose to be straight over being gay. It’s not easy to say, but I want to explain it. 

Ever since I was a small kid, my dream was to be a mum. I love the idea of carrying a child, of holding my flesh and blood in my arms. But now that idea stings because I know that child will grow up being judged because of me. Not only can I not protect my child from bullying, like so many parents wish they could, I have to know, even now, that through some twisted logic they are being punished for me.

I have to carry the fact that my love will always be a political act. Try as I might to divorce my love from that, it never will be. I don’t want to have to fight. I don’t want to have to defend myself. I want to be able to tell someone I love them and for it to mean that, and just that, and only that, and yet because I’m gay our love becomes more than just that. It becomes something for others to state their opinions on, for others to project their beliefs onto. My love becomes a case study, an example point for my friends, relatives, and mere acquaintances to whip out when they want to back up their ideas. 

I’m sick and tired of going online and seeing people complain about LGBT representation “flooding” their screens, tired of going outside and hearing the same feelings echoed, because every time that happens I am reminded that I am a token, not a person. My existence disrupts. I am a discomfort to others.

If I come out early in a friendship, they are uncomfortable because I am forcing my sexuality on them.

If I come out late in a friendship, they are uncomfortable because I withheld information so long.

There is no correct time, because no matter what I will make others uncomfortable.

I have never been happy with being gay, because I wish I could be a person, not a discomfort, not a political idea, not a debate. But I accept myself, and love myself. 

Happy birthday! I don’t know if you watch Free! but I hope you like it either way. ^_^

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Mod: Oh my god I feel so bad I didn’t check this blog around more often! I can’t believed I missed such an adorable picture!! This is wonderful Ellis this is super late but thank you so much ; w ; ! ( and yes I have watched free >:3 !! )

anonymous asked:

People are holding onto literally any sign that GMW gets saved. Like Sabrina with a hairdresser, come on. I think its safe to say I isnt getting picked up.

I think the GMW fandom has a lot of young and/or just plain clueless folks who don’t realize how common it is in show biz to meet a professional hairdresser (or make-up artist or stylist etc) through one job and then continue to work with them beyond said job. And that’s not a knock on anybody—it’s not like Hollywood Working Relationships 101 is a class you take in high school. I get why someone who doesn’t know about that kind of thing might think/hope Laurie doing Sabrina’s hair means something good for GMW.

Anyway, I think if it was “safe to say” the show isn’t getting picked up, we’d pretty much know for certain by now, which we don’t. The fact that we DON’T have negative confirmation from MJ & Co yet means it’s still being worked on, which means there’s still about as much of a shot as there ever was (minus Netflix, who took themselves off the table early) and it could still go either way. 👍

you know i just really don’t understand people who don’t know or care anything about politics… like i get if you don’t like getting political all the time but it’s really fucking important and i just hope everybody is educating themselves about it, especially now. i see people all the time who know absolutely nothing about politics at all, and then they go off about something that doesn’t even exist, or they’re completely unphased by something disastrous, and it’s painful and terrifying knowing that so much of this country doesn’t give 2 shits about politics for the simple reason that they don’t think it matters

If you’re going to call me an asshole and tell me to fuck off, at least do it before blocking me so I can read your full comment and don’t have to lurk to find that shit. Also like, what did I say?? The only “disagreement” we had was me saying any PP that gives hrt scripts will give them for both trans women or trans men. I wasn’t saying like, “transmisogyny is over” or “the US healthcare system is fixed,” far from it. Like, after reading the full comment, I seem to have stumbled into a different discourse about whether women’s health clinics will ever accommodate trans women as well as they should. And I would agree that overall that seems like a distant hope. But all I was talking about is how hrt scripts have become much more widely accessible to underserved populations, not like, the holistic ethics of care. You know, its a funny way to be “tw 4 tw” to label another trans woman a reprehensible asshole over something like this.

anonymous asked:

Hey friend, you don't need to apologize to us! You're allowed to feel however your feeling, and its your blog to post whatever you want about it. I'm sorry to hear about your friend though. I know that can be hard to just lose someone like that. I hope you feel better soon hun. Remember that we all love you here!

thank you <3 its so strange and unreal to see how many people care about little old me, and i cant thank everyone enough for it. thank you so much for your kind words

2

Joyeux Noël à @abadmeanman! I was your @mlsecretsanta 💝🎅✨

It’s a mutual reveal scenario! In which its a direct mirror of the ever infamous umbrella scene (sans the umbrella and rain).

(Shocking, I know) 

So a for the longest ive been wracking my brain on what to get you. Honestly i considered many possibilities and i still am but those, i decided, were better off as separate projects ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) because i wanted to go for a sfw approach.

I know it’s not much (trust me i wish i could have done more bc ur a cool dude) but this is the best i could do atm. it was my first time working with animations and i came across a lot of technical difficulties (like finding the right size so the finalized thing fits under 1MB or tweaking with the settings so it doesnt look wonky) but im actually proud of the outcome :)

anyways, i hope u like this and that you have a neato x-mas and a happy new year!💛🎉🎅

Digital Painting: tips for beginners

Heyo! I got asked if I could make a tutorial on digital painting so I’m gonna throw together some advice meant for people who are starting out and want to figure out exactly how this stuff all works. Because it’s hard! What I hope to accomplish here is to make painting more approachable for you.

Firstly, I have put together something like this before, so for archival purposes here it is: http://holy-quinity.tumblr.com/post/89594801811/i-dont-know-how-much-of-this-kind-of-thing-you

For those of you who don’t wanna bother reading that, here are the main points:

1. Learn your program and its tools, from brush properties to layer styles. And I mean learn them. Make a cheatsheet that shows you exactly what each button and scale does, both in isolation and in conjunction with other buttons and scales. Refer to this as much as possible until it is intuitive. The end goal is to know exactly what to do to your brush’s settings to achieve a given effect.

2. It’s perfectly okay to use your sketches, linearts, and other forms of line in your paintings. They can help guide the form and there’s no need to make something fully “lineless”! I never make things “lineless.”

3. Study other people’s art and try to think how they could have possibly achieved the effects they did. You can learn a lot just by observing and mentally recreating the process stroke by stroke—muscle memory is a powerful tool at your disposal. This becomes easier to do once you’ve started doing item 1 above.

OKAY!

So where the heck do you even begin?

What I’m gonna do is try to make digital painting as approachable as possible for someone who’s never really done it. The main idea here is that digital painting is just like real painting. So if you’ve ever done real painting, you already kinda know what’s coming.

I’m gonna assume you know the basics of digital art: you can sketch, line those sketches using layers and opacity changes, and fill the lines with color, maybe even opting to add some shading…and you’ll get something like this:

You know, cell-shaded, or maybe the shading’s blended, but you’ve still obviously a line drawing with color put down on layers beneath the lines.

The next intuitive step is to try going “lineless”…but when you remove the lines you get this:

idk about you but I’m laughing at how stupid this looks

When I was first teaching myself to paint digitally, I didn’t really know how to deal with this. Without lines, the form of the subject vanished or became a mess like the above. Even if I was meticulous and careful about placing down the color such that without the lines layer turned on, the shapes fit together, it didn’t look quite right. There’d be gaps, I wouldn’t know how to incorporate the subject into a background, the contrast wouldn’t be high enough, or it’d just in general look too much like a screenshot from Super Mario 64.

Painting requires a different process than the above. You’ll have to let go of some of your habits and conventions. Such as staying in the lines. Such as fully relying on the lines. Like, I love my lines, I love my sketches—but in painting, they are guides for form, and are not the form itself. So let me go through how I approach a given painting:


My painting process starts with a sketch (here a boring portrait for demonstrative purposes). I make the opacity of the sketch layer something like 30%, and then throw down my base colors on a new layer underneath. I’m not being meticulous about the sketch itself, because again it’s just meant to guide my placement of color. I’m also not meticulous about my placement of the color.

We’re essentially sketching with color. Because ultimately what we want is for the color to take on the form and shapes conveyed by the sketch.

There’s a lot going into this about how to use value, how to shade, how to use color, etc. that I’m kinda skipping over because it takes a lot of time to explain…but there are hundreds of tutorials out there on those topics so please, google around! I found some helpful tuts that way when I was starting out.

Something I find v useful is to keep selecting colors that already exist in your image for shading and hue adjustment. This is why I start with really blendy, low-opacity brushes when throwing down color on top of the background. I can then select colors within there that are a mix of the two.

For instance, I’ll select the color of the lines here:

…and use that to shade:

And maybe I’ll select one of the darker shades around his eye, but not the darkest, to make the shading a smoother gradient…and so on.

What I do in general at this point is go over the shapes and lines of the sketch. Such that I can turn off the sketch layer and see this:

I’m replacing the lines with shading and value. I’ll continue to do this as I keep adding color.

This is all super loose. I am not dedicated to any particular stroke. I just want the colors and shading and light source to be right. I’ll use overlay layers to boost contrast or add a hue.

Here are other examples where I used this process:

I am constantly changing brushes and brush settings as I paint. It really depends on what effect I want where. I am also constantly selecting new colors and applying or blending those in. I don’t believe in having some uniformly applied base color and then shading with only one or two…that’s what I’d do if I was cell-shading like the first drawing I showed you here, but painting should be about messing with color and opacity and blending to make millions of hues!

Good rule of thumb: Hard, opaque brushes for applying color. Soft, dilute brushes for blending colors. Sometimes hard, dilute brushes can make some cool blending effects! I personally prefer harder edges on my shading so that’s a brush I use often.

This is getting a bit long so I’m gonna split it up into multiple parts, but really what I want you to get from this is:

1. learn the tools at your disposal until they are intuitive

2. sketch and line are guides for form, not the form itself

3. rather, hue and value will produce the form

And of course, practice makes perfect!!! Every drawing you make, every painting you make, will bring you one step closer to the artist you want to be, and thus every drawing and every painting, no matter what, is a success.

surprising your boyfriend like

Bitty doesn’t like lying to his boyfriend. It’s not his style. If anything, he’s honest to a fault. It’s not his speed to perpetrate deceptions, much less relish him.

Oh, but this… this is really kind of fun.

When he first tells Jack he’ll be heading home for Christmas, Jack is visibly disappointed. His face falls, and he heaves a sigh before mustering up his stoic face and telling Bitty “I hope you have fun.”

Bitty feigns concern. “Oh, now, what will you do? I know you’re playing on Christmas Eve day, so I suppose you can’t go home to your parents’.”

Jack shakes his head. “I’ll make do. I’m sure someone on the team will have me over.” But the sad glisten in his eyes is almost enough to make Bitty break down and confess right there.

Almost.

Keep reading

- chapter one: part one -

“There’s a million reasons why this shouldn’t work…but there’s one reason why it should…”


7 Weeks

Two pink lines. What the fuck. No, this couldn’t be happening.

I shook the stick a few good times, knowing the box says you’re really not supposed to but I thought that maybe if I did it hard enough, maybe...just maybe, it would fix the error. Because this was clearly an error. This was clearly a manufacturing error. It was the test, it had to be. The test was defective, the test was clearly defective. Because there was no way this could be right, there was absolutely no way that this test could actually be positive, there was no way I could actually be…pregnant…

Oh God.

The air cinched from my lungs as I plopped down on the toilet seat of my bathroom, the test barely dangling between my loose fingertips over my bent kneecap. Shit. I flicked my head back and forth, shutting my eyes as the heat began to travel from the warped pit of my stomach up to my cheeks, filling them with a sickening flush. Shit, shit, shit. How could this have happened? How could I have let this happen?

My shaken thoughts quickly juggled between ‘what the fuck am I gonna do’ and ‘holy shit….I gotta tell him’. Him. Him being a guy that would probably want nothing to do with this, a guy that had a whole entire world of speculation and scrutiny to deal with considering he was…famous. Him being a guy that I didn’t even really know, a guy that I hadn’t even spoken to since the night he…well, apparently impregnated me. The mere thought of having to speak to him, to tell him this news when we literally didn’t know a lick about each other, made the nerves start to creep up my spine.

I popped my eyes open and tentatively peered down at the little stick of death that was in my hand. Maybe I don’t have to tell him, I innocently thought with a tiny shrug, the idea being swiftly washed away by my own good conscience.

Letting out a loud groan, my upper body tumbled over as I let my head hang down between my parted knees, my arms dramatically slumping to the floor.  

I had to tell him. I had to tell Niall.


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Songbird

A/N: This is the sequel to Silence, which was far more popular than I thought it would be, so thank you all for that! This sequel was requested by @pixikinz (it’s not tagging you I’m sorry!) and a few other people that I’m having trouble finding and tagging… I’ll tag @princess-of-erebor1992 for helping me get up the courage to write it. I hope you enjoy this!

Summary: You adjust to life with Thorin’s Company, and find yourself drawn to its charismatic leader.

Word Count: 1,551

Warnings: Shirtless Thorin (shield our eyes from the beauty!!), mention of wounds


Once Thorin learned your name, he used it as often as possible. It made you feel more at home to hear your name so frequently, even if it was in a voice that did not at all sound like home. Thorin’s voice was deep and resonant, regal with a hint of wildness that you wondered if he might ever tame.

You hoped he wouldn’t.

His company had gotten better about not begging you to sing at every moment. They only asked for music every few hours, which was easier on you. Kili and Ori asked most often, the former with fluttering eyelashes that betrayed his flirtatious youthfulness, the latter with a shy bashfulness that you found hard to refuse. In the end, you sang more than you meant to, though Thorin was always mindful of his dwarves’ requests. He would quell the requests that would tax you the most, smiling in that close-lipped way of his as you nodded your silent thanks. Some days he would not let you sing at all, to your bafflement.

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Happy Valentines Day

Requested: valentines day imagine on valentines day?

Masterlist

~~~

“How are you doing today, buddy?” Your roommate asks as she plops down on the couch next to you. She knows that you’re a little down today because it’s Valentines day so you get to see a ton of couples posting pictures together, but you’ll spend most of the day just missing your boyfriend and trying not to be sad about the fact that you won’t be able to spend Valentines Day together.

“I’m alright.” You reply shortly, not wanting to complain because you really don’t have anything to complain about. You’re just lucky to have Shawn, and you’re proud of everything he’s accomplished, so you won’t let yourself be upset that he can’t be here and that you haven’t even heard from him all day.

“I’m sorry,” She says, even though you said you were alright, she knows you’re not exactly. “Have you talked to him today at least?” She questions.

“Nah, he’s sleeping I think?” You respond because he hasn’t replied to anything you’ve sent him yet, but you’re just assuming with the time zones its probably the middle of the night where he is.

“It’ll just be that much better the next time you see him,” She tries to offer support.

“Thanks, really. I’m fine. It’s not a big deal.” 

She smiles sadly at you, and you hate that she pities you even though she’s not doing it intentionally. At least she drops the subject and you get to talk about other things that puts you in a bit of a better mood and gets your mind off the fact that it’s Valentines Day and you haven’t even heard anything from your boyfriend even though it’s nearly three in the afternoon where you are.

You decide to take a shower, something that normally just helps you to get your mind of things that are bothering you. You’ve probably sent Shawn about ten messages and he hasn’t replied to anything. That’s unlike him, but you know he gets busy sometimes and it isn’t his fault. Or he could be sleeping. Either way it sucks that of all days, he chose Valentines day to not reply to your messages.

When you get out of the shower and get dressed you check your phone again, half expecting to have no notifications, but you’re surprised to see that Shawn has finally texted you. Happy Valentines Day babe xx and the next message asks, Did you get the flowers? You feel a little better. At least he sent flowers, but you hadn’t received any flowers.

You’re alive. No, I haven’t? You reply.

Oh comes his immediate response, and then They should be there soon, are you home?

Yeah You click send and are starting to text him asking about his day just to see how he is, but your doorbell rings. You wonder if it is the flowers he sent, and if it is you’re thinking how it is really weird timing since he had just talked about it. You shake off the thought and open the door without even bothering to look through the peephole. You see the flowers first, probably two dozen red roses. There are so many flowers that you can’t even see the person holding them. You’re about to try to thank the guy who delivered them when the person moves the flowers and you actually see his face. You have to stop yourself from screaming, and your hand goes to your shocked mouth. “Shawn?” You say, not believing your eyes.

“Your flowers are here, baby.” He says, a cheeky grin on his face.

You just hug him tightly, despite the flowers being slightly in your way, then you usher him inside. He hands you the vase of flowers and you quickly put them down before finding yourself back in his arms. “Happy Valentines Day, darling.” He says softly into your ear and you can’t stop yourself from thinking how it really is a happy Valentines Day now that he’s here.

Find You (Part 4)

Summary: Bucky has moved into a new apartment, not knowing that its previous tenant thinks they still live there. And he’s the only one that can see them.

Word Count: 1,364

Warnings: None.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

A/N: Ahhh things are getting more exciting :D I hope you all enjoy! Please let me know ^^ 

Originally posted by gliceria


The woman smiles at Bucky as he calls out to her, as if she knew that he was going to approach her. Bucky gives her an uneasy grin and clears his throat. He’s opening his mouth to tell her something when she thrusts a business card out at him.

“I have an appointment I have to attend right now,” she says, not waiting for Bucky to say anything else. And Bucky feels a shiver go through him. She knew too much, and when she stared into his eyes it was like she was looking at the deepest parts of him. It unsettled him. “You can call me next week and we can settle an appointment.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i love your art so much!!!! the lighting, the hair and expressions, but most of all the poses!! i hope you dont mind me asking, but how do you go about planning the pose for a drawing (especially if its like an action or battle pose) like what kind of references do you use? its really hard to come up with something and i dont know where to look for inspiration. thanks!!

THANK YOU MY DUDE!!!!!! YOUVE LISTED ALL THE THINGS IVE STRUGGLE WITH WHILE DRAWING L OL

when im stuck on pose ideas, i usually just google some example poses L O L!!! i also look over some of my fav artists’ work. although i believe once you can grasp the way limbs etc. work, youll be able to create any pose you want. although i believe the crucial thing is to make sure whatever pose youre choosing is correct.

mia jumping in the air with a one vanishing point perspective

for more dynamic poses, try experimenting with camera angles.

mia with attempted 3 vanishing point perspective L MAO

energy lies in small details and gestures

although there isnt really anything wrong with this pose, you can add more energy by changing and adding a few things.

i hunched lyns back and shoulders more for tension and moved the sword to a more active, dynamic pose. the direction and flow of her hair further adds to the energy. dont be afraid to get our of your comfort zone to try more dynamic poses

hopefully that helps…. GOOD LUCK MY DUDE!!!

Adrinette Month Day 5: Coffee Shop Au 

Back to working loosely haha I enjoy it far too much 8]

He didn’t know when she started sitting there, every morning at eight, with a cup of coffee in her hands. He only knew when he started remembering her. 

Sometimes she was with someone–a friend, he hoped–but most times, she was alone, sitting contentedly with her beverage, enjoying her own company. 

He never could quite muster up the courage to go up to her–what was he going to say? “Hey, I’ve been watching you drink coffee every morning as I walk to work, how’s it going?” Yeah, that’s not a bit creepy.

So one day, when it was down-pouring, and he went his way to work, believing fully that perhaps today, he might not get to see her, he was surprised to find he was wrong. There she was, wearing a bright red raincoat–but no umbrella.

And he finally found his chance.