i know it isn't any good but i needed it

4

destiny. booyah.

1x01 || 4x13

anonymous asked:

oh fuck you

seeeeeeee now, this would be a great come on if not for a few problems, anon.

First?  This isn’t something I do on the first date.  or the second.  Or really, the third.  You want me to put out?  The first thing that has to happen is I have to get to KNOW you.  I don’t fuck strangers.  If I need that kind of a kick I’m good with fictional characters.

Second, see, I can read this in any tone I care to since it’s three written words, so I’m going to choose to read it in the kind of tone that Juliet had when speaking about Romeo on the balcony, and lamenting the fact that he was Romeo.  You, fair anon, may lament the fact that you do not get to fuck me in any hormonally-stupid-teenager tone you wish.  I am not the romeo you are looking for.

Third?  Sweetie, I did the “cool” look but you really have to work on your tan.  That pallor isn’t “cool” it’s dead, and you can call me shallow if you wish but i’m genuinely beginning to fear for your health and mortal soul.

Fourth….oh my god if we’re going to keep playing this game of “I’m gonna throw bullshit asks at Web” can you PLEASE fucking use more articulate language?  Like, make it a challenge.  I like challenges.  THEN we can have fun.

Try harder, Anon.  Like, at everything.