i know im missing something

when i miss something or someone
i know im holding on to the wrong aspect of time
because i’m forgetting to accept the future
i can see now which does not have you;
it’s weighing out the reasons why, and how
it led to this that stops me from
seeing the lessons in every choice i made
just to prove that this love wasn’t crazy, or wrong
because before it made sense, that was a much simpler time
when just to see you was enough.
now i know this kind of love
that takes, and takes, and takes what i have
and i willingly give it all thinking that
maybe this is what love is like;
i drained my roots which you soaked in stupid wishes
that you’ll let my petals flourish
instead of picking them for yourself to waste
and to step on with your ego,
and along the way i realized
in those nights when i strung around messages
that had long been memorized word per word
with the same meaning, but not the feelings
i have come to know that
i should not be lonely at all
and that is not what i deserve.
i deserve to be happy.
i deserve more than this.
it’s okay to realize that when it’s too late
to write again on yesterday’s pages,
but forgiving myself is going to be
tougher, and longer to happen
when i know i should’ve known this
—  dear, you #14 // s.c
2

its still sciles day on the west coast so i didnt miss it >:3c i decided to do a redraw of a trans sciles pic i did last year, and also bc the amazing kat @sleepy-skittles wrote a thanksgiving trans sciles fic for my bday ;_;

Friendly Fire (pt. 6)

part five • part seven

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You were tired and your hair was a mess. All you were doing was putting your hair up, but the hair tie had other plans. Now you’re in this little prank war with Bucky. Who will win, who will lose?

Words: 920 it went back up lol

Warnings: Slight jealousy? Angst?

Notes: ooooooh, things got intense. whaaaats going to happen next? the world may never know… i kid. that tootsie pop commercial popped into my head for some reason. this was a bit difficult to write because its kind of serious and this is a prank war im writing. kind of hard to be serious but alas, here it is. sorry if theres any typos. enjoy :)


“This isn’t a good idea Y/N” Wanda expressed, shaking her head in disapproval.

“As fun as it’s been watching you and Buck prank one another, I think this is going a bit far” Nat chimed in, agreeing with Wanda.

“Are you kidding?? This will be hilarious” Sam said. He was always up for messing with Bucky, at all costs. 

You just finished explaining your prank to the three of them, and boy, did you go all out with this one. When Wanda and Natasha told you about Bucky supposedly having a crush on you, not for a second did you believe them. A part of the reason you were doing this prank was to prove them wrong.


Once Sam was clear on the plan, the both of you walked out of your room and began the charade. You headed to the couch, and started looking for something to watch on Netflix.

“How ‘bout a suspenseful movie, baby?” Sam asked, giving you a soft smile.

Immediately, Steve’s head snapped up from the kitchen.

“Sounds good,” you replied, “It’ll give me an excuse to cuddle closer to you.”

Tony was barely walking into the room, but managed to hear everything. He looked over at Steve with wide, questioning eyes. Steve looked back at him, and just shrugged. Tony made his way over to the kitchen, and tried his best to not grab attention.

“What is birdman doing?” Tony whispered as he passed by Steve, pretending to look for something to eat.

Steve caught on, and took a slip of his drink before answering back.

“I’m not sure,” Steve mumbled, lifting the newspaper up. “But I know nothing good is going to come of it.”

“Jeeze, look at him,” Tony pointed out, watching Sam wrap his arm around your shoulder. “He’s asking for a deathwish.”


A few hours later, Bucky emerged from his room in workout attire. He was heading to the gym, but on his way he stopped by the kitchen to get a drink. As he turned to look at the t.v. he noticed you and… Sam?

He nearly choked on his drink.

Is this a joke? What is Y/N doing with Sam?? She doesn’t know, but he sure as hell does.

Snapping out of his thoughts, he headed to the gym. He turned around once more to look at the both of you, just to make sure this wasn’t some nightmare. He could feel his jaw clench.

When he got to the gym, he noticed that Clint, Natasha, and Steve were having a session. He walked over to observe what they were working on, and caught Steve’s attention.

“You alright there, pal?” Steve inquired, noticing Bucky’s jaw right away.

“I’m fine. What are you guys working on?” Bucky replied, ignoring Steve’s stare and focusing on Clint and Nat.

“Come on Barnes,” Natasha muttered as she pinned down Clint, “You don’t have to keep up this apathetic act.”

“Yeah,” Clint agreed, flipping Nat off him, and pinning her down, “We could feel that tension from outside the gym.”

Bucky sighed, and closed his eyes.

“Y/N and Sam. Please tell me it’s all a nightmare”

Nat’s eyes widened, and looked at Steve. Clint furrowed his brows, let out a laugh and looked at Nat. Steve shrugged.

“I saw it too, so you’re not dreamin’ Buck” Steve stated flatly.

Clint snorted and got up, “Wait, am I missing something here?”

“What did you see…?” Nat questioned, keeping her composure.

“I saw her! All cuddled up in Sam’s arms!” Bucky exclaimed, throwing his hands up, “They didn’t even seem to notice me walk in and out of the area!”

“Calm down Barnes,” Nat suggested, “Honestly, I wouldn’t stress too much about it.”

“Are you kidding Nat? Everyone knows Bucky has a thing for Y/N, except for her” Clint bursted out, “I gotta see this for myself.” And with that, Clint headed out to see if it was true, Bucky following behind.


You and Sam abandoned the couch to go look for something to eat in the kitchen. It was almost dinner time, and the both of you were pretty hungry.

“What do you feel like eating?” Sam asked, searching the pantry.

“Just about anything,” you answered, “Did you want to pick some food up? We can go out-”

“Whoa, what’s this about going out now?” Clint announced, causing you and Sam to jump at his sudden presence.

“Jesus Clint, you scared me!” you said, holding your hand over your chest.

“My bad” Clint apologized, “So are you two really a thing now? Because if so, I did not see that coming.”

You looked over at Sam, giving him this slightly worried look that your plan might be exposed. Instead of looking at you, Sam came up to you and pulling you close to him.

“What’s it to you man?” Sam jokingly asked.

“Oh nothing, just curious” Clint smirked, “I just don’t buy that you two are actually anything.” He said, crossing his arms.

Before you could tell Clint the truth, Sam had placed his hand to your cheek, turning you to face him and carefully placed his lips along yours. You were completely thrown off, not expecting him to actually kiss you. When he broke the kiss, you tried not to look as shocked as Clint.

“Did you buy that?” Sam remarked with a cocky smile, clearly proud of his action.

“I sure did.”

The three of you turned around to see Bucky standing on the other side of the room.

“Shit” Sam mumbled.


any thoughts? comments?

tagged: @mattymattymerduck @winchester-with-wings @just-call-me-mrs-captain @rayswritingcorner @matthewmurrdock @writingbarnes @fallen-stark @bovaria @bionic-buckyb @jarnesbrnes @anitavalija @nopevilleluas @justanotherfangurlz @vverecat @matteblackvevo @toastburninglucy @widowvinter @blueswallow5 @crazychick010 @aesthetic-marvel-trash @existing-on-earth @holydeanmon @imaginehuntress @justnormalnot @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @melonberri @procrastinatingvirgo @iamstupidnini @buchananbarnestrash @priestly-winchested @palaiasaurus64 @jilli72destiel im so sorry i forgot to tag you, did i miss anyone else omg

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Any questions and concerns can once again be directed to my inbox,  because i’m sure I missed a lot. (sorry in advanced;;..)

4

Hearing all this talk about Tegan and Sara being ‘sellouts’  really breaks my heart. They have 6 other records of indie rock. Six. That’s plenty to look back on if you’re not into the pop album they’ve created. Just think of how mundane it would be to come out with another album similar than the rest. In my opinion most of their records are all a far cry from one another. But now that their breaking into the mainstream most of you are bashing them and aren’t looking at it the way I’m looking at it. First off, after hearing all the torment contained in their other albums and other eras and then seeing how happy they are now gives me the optimism that it can get better. That I won’t be stuck like this forever. They’re finally happy. Isn’t that the most important?

Secondly, I’m absolutely sick of seeing all these artists with such fame and not taking advantage of it for the greater good, and instead just ranting on and on about your image as opposed to your heart. 

The LGBTQ community doesn’t have nearly enough queer artists in the industry. I understand that although there are plenty of allies within, seeing queers make something big of themselves shows that you can be queer, and be successful. It gives me hope that someday being gay won’t be such a controversial topic. 

2

[[Um… heey. Sorry for the suddenly disappearence… huh, yeah… and look my style is completely different lmao]]