This is mainly an SIF-style dialogue. Kasumi says everything in the dialogue, addressing the reader, an older student at the school. The rest of the article is her introduction from the PDP website (see here for my translation of that).
boyfriend!Calum furrowing his eyebrows when you’d compliment him during breakfast one morning, because you had a different way of doing so- your so pretty’s and my beautiful boy‘s tumbling from your lips so carelessly from time to time. It wasn’t that he didn’t like your coos, because he did- you knew he did, because his cheeks would burn and he’d have the dopiest of smiles spread across his face whenever you’d whisper them into his neck- it as just that Calum was still young and shy and words like those made him feel weird sometimes, because he was a guy and he was strong and liked rock music and wasn’t into lovey-dovey shit because he liked to think he was cool and manly goddammit- and he was struggling to decode the conflicted feeling within him telling him that he shouldn’t like the sweet nothings you’d always mutter into his ear while you were both laying in bed, or even the way you’d hold him to your chest while you were squeezed on the couch, stroking his hair so gently it took no time to make him drowsy, sending him off to a deep sleep with a kiss to his forehead.
But really, he was just getting shit from his friends since they had gone through his phone when the brunette had carelessly left it on the counter when they were over one day- inevitably encountering your endearing choice of words and picking up a motive to tease the poor boy into thinking the words were emasculating and wrong- something that sounded like a big no no to Calum’s young ego.
So without saying much, Calum lifted his gaze from the soggy cereal he had been feasting on- meeting your smiling form- and moved around the island between the two of you until he was standing tall beside you. Your smile had gradually faltered as he moved, the crease between his brows too deep for your liking, but was replaced by a gasp of surprise at his rough hands. Within a few seconds, Calum’s hands had tugged open his flannel you were wearing and pulled down both of your bottoms- pulling the cups of your bra just so they were below the swell of your breasts- and pulling you to meet him in a rushed kiss as he tried his best to move his hand against you just right to prepare you. Before you knew it, he was moving into you- his hips not faltering since the first deep thrust- watching you throw your head back as your hands clutched to his stiff shoulders, partly because of the feeling he was providing you with and partly because you were sure if you weren’t you’d fall off of the narrow seated stool you were on. Calum watched you with a deep look of concentration as he moved in and out of you-so hard and so fast- one hand on your back and the other clutching the crease of the stool, both keeping you in place to take his pointed thrusts. You thought that your words had ignited this craze,that you had just said them with enough affection that he thought the only way of thanking you was to give you a glorious pounding, but as he rested his lips to your cheek, giving up on moving them against yours with all the movement he was making, muttering out a “this cute enough for ya?” you knew you were wrong, but you didn’t really care at the moment. In the afterglow of it all you thought you’d have to bring it up, and for half a second you worried at the idea of not saying the words anymore, but as you let a “I love you, baby boy” topple from your lips one more time- thinking it the last and hoping he wouldn’t get upset- only to be met with a blushing, smiling Calum burying his head into your neck and kissing your flesh, you knew you wouldn’t have to stop.
demon!luke is on hold atm cuz I’m dumb so I’m stalling with blurbs
Me: Wow wtf the f I worked real hard on this okay??? I know this is funny you know this is funny everyone knows this is funny why is this not getting any notes are you guys seriously only willing to reblog funny posts if they’ve got like a million notes or whatever wow how conceited this website is messed up I cant beli-
Me: *sees funny post*
Me: OMG THIS IS LIKE ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS TIME TO REBL-