i know i thought it was the second one but i googled him

Putting Lipstick On A Pig

by reddit user Pippinacious

Except for the whole murder thing, Courtney James seemed like a lovely young woman. She was bright, articulate, a dedicated college student and well liked waitress at a popular restaurant.

I met her when she was sitting in an interrogation room at the precinct. She was a bit on the larger side, dressed conservatively in pastel colors and minimal makeup, and when I came in, she introduced herself with a polite smile, as if we were meeting for a job interview as opposed to a police investigation. She had declined to have an attorney present, so I got right to business.

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On February 1st John wakes up to find that Sherlock’s half of the bed is empty, and on his pillow is a single lavender rose.  He smiles softly, picks it up, and presses his nose into the petals.

The following day John finds two of the same flower, their stems cut quite short, waiting for him in his favorite mug when he goes to make tea.  He doesn’t ask Sherlock about it yet, and Sherlock acts as if nothing is different.

On February 3rd there are three lavender roses waiting for John.  One is resting in his left shoe; another is tucked inside his jacket pocket; the third he finds on the doorknob when he’s on his way out.  He puts them on his desk at work and thinks about texting Sherlock for an explanation.  But he doesn’t.  Not yet.

Four roses find their way onto the mantlepiece.

Five are found nestled in John’s chair late in the evening on February 5th.

Six are discovered the following morning, wrapped neatly together with ribbon, in the refrigerator.  Still, neither of them say a word.

It isn’t until the 7th of February–when John finds seven lavender roses, cut from their stems, floating in a bowl of water on the kitchen table–that John’s curiosity gets the better of him.  He’s not much for computers, but he knows how to use google at least.  The results make his head feel light.

Eight roses decorate the sitting room in various spots.

Nine are placed into various beakers and tubes.

Ten litter the surface of the sofa all day on February 10th.  They avoid sitting there all day, but neither of them mentions it.

On February 11th there are eleven roses lining the doorframe of Baker Street.

The 12th brings a bouquet to John’s office where he switches them out for the three that have begun to wilt but that he was unwilling to remove.

Thirteen roses hang from the ceiling of their bedroom the following day.  John isn’t quite sure how Sherlock managed that without waking him, but he lays there for almost half an hour, just watching them sway back and forth.

John comes home from work on the 14th of February and finds lavender rose petals scattered up and down the seventeen steps of 221B.  If he had to guess he would say there were enough petals for fourteen roses.  His chest constricts, and he takes the steps slowly, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

He expects to find Sherlock waiting for him, but when he reaches the top he finds the door to the sitting room closed, a note taped to it.  Sherlock’s untidy scrawl reads, You know where to find me.

And John does.  He’s back down the stairs and out the door in seconds, and for once it seems he’s got Sherlock’s luck on his side as a taxi rolls to a stop when he flings out his hand.

The lab at St. Bart’s hasn’t changed much since the day they met, and it’s a bit like walking into the past when John pushes the door open to find Sherlock waiting for him in the same exact spot he had been when John had first seen him.  Only this time John isn’t limping.  And this time Sherlock is holding a single lavender rose instead of a pipette, and his gaze is soft and warm as it settles on John.

“Knew you’d get it,” he says, his eyes crinkling with his smile.

John walks toward him, taking his time even though his heart is pounding.  It’s ridiculous, he thinks, because they’ve been together for months now.  “I’m smarter than I look,” he says, unable to keep from smiling in return.  He stops about a foot away, nodding toward the rose in Sherlock’s hand.  “Isn’t that cheating?”

Sherlock shakes his head.  “You see, but you do not observe,” he says, a mischievous glint in his eyes.  He steps closer, holding the flower up between them.  “There were only thirteen on the steps.  This is number fourteen.”

John steps closer and reaches out to touch the petals, letting his hand slip down until his fingers ghost over Sherlock’s.  “I looked it up, you know. Lavender rose.”

“I know,” Sherlock says, his smile widening.  “On the seventh.  I was surprised you held out for so long.”

John can’t help laughing.  “I’m not even going to ask how you knew.”  

He plucks the rose from Sherlock’s fingers and sets it gingerly on the counter beside them, removing the delicate barrier between them so that he can step into Sherlock’s space and draw him down for a soft, slow kiss.  Sherlock’s hands cup his face, his thumbs stroking along the sharp edges of his jaw, and John clings to fistfuls of Sherlock’s shirt at his waist.

When he pulls away it’s only enough so that he can speak, and his lips brush Sherlock’s with every word.  “Love at first sight,” he whispers, and he frees one hand to touch the petals of the lavender rose beside them.  “And you always said I was the romantic.”

Sherlock kisses him again, lingering for a long, sweet moment.  “I thought you should know the truth.  The whole of it.  How long I’ve loved you.”

Something in John’s chest aches, and he spends long, drawn-out moments pressing his lips to Sherlock’s, murmuring his I love yous into his mouth, hoping that it will be enough, that Sherlock will understand that he’s been loved since the moment John saw him in this very lab so many years ago.


Later that night–after Sherlock has led them home, after John has pressed him against the sheets, after countless kisses and touches and soft, pleading words–later, they sit together in front of the fire, half-clothed, legs tangled together, and press the single lavender rose in between the pages of a heavy book.  And when they’ve finished, John takes Sherlock by the hand and leads him back to bed.

So I finally went through omgeverythingplease and here are things that I didn’t know
  • Bitty is OBSESSED with food. OBSESSED.
  • Boy has a *problem*
  • Like I know we like to headcanon that Bitty goes into some sort of media, but he’s more likely to become a food critic. Basically he’s more into the “baking” part of “baking vlog” than the “vlog” part.
  • Holster is a grumpy messy bitch.
  • For real, the team seriously debated who was grumpier: Jack or Holster
  • (for like, a hot second, before the answer became obvious)
  • (It’s Jack. Jack is the grumpiest)
  • Ransom and Bitty are very close friends. Close enough that Bitty chirps Holster that he’s being replaced via tweet.
  • Ransom and Bitty get PSLs from “ ‘Bucks”.
  • That is a quote. Eric Richard Bittle has called Starbucks, ‘Bucks.
  • (I bet he calls Target, Tar-zhay too)
  • This one was a bit more analytical: we found out about Jack coaching peewee via Bitty’s twitter
  • Bitty is the one who tells us that the Jack says the kids call him “Coach Z”
  • Because Bitty is the one who typed out the tweet, if the kids called Jack “Coach Zed”, he would have spelled out “Zed.”
  • Therefore we can assume that the kids called Jack “Coach Zee” and not “Coach Zed”
  • However this revelation by Jack was immediately followed by a debate over Zee vs. Zed. So who really knows?
  • I still don’t know how either of them pronounces “pecan”
  • More after the cut because this is getting long

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“A Wish for 100″

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Midnight strikes, officially marking Bucky’s 100th birthday. You surprise the super-soldier with a small treat and a gift that has potential to change everything.

A/N: ending the last few hours of the day by wishing a happy 100th to our sweet plum, bucky barnes! // i wrote this in 7 minutes (i timed myself, hurrah) so it’s an incoherent mess. i’ll probably delete this sometime next week xx

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Bucky leans against the headboard of his bed, bringing the covers closer to his body before crossing his arms against his chest. He watches as the second hand of the clock make its way around, hypnotically ticking away.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

In a few minutes, he’ll be 100-years-old, and it baffles him that he’s been on this planet for a century. He’s outlived his parents, his contemporaries, and everything he considered to be home. His age isn’t something he’s too keen on, especially since he’s spent over half of those “one hundred years of life” as a brainwashed weapon for a terrorist organization.

Birthdays are still a weird concept, and he prefers to not make a big deal out of them. He’s requested his teammates to treat it like any other day, and he doesn’t want any special attention. Lucky for him, the Avengers members with a flare for surprises and events are on a mission, and hopefully the rest of the team will oblige to his request.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

His breath hitches.

It’s midnight.

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anonymous asked:

Soulmate AU where your soulmark doesn't only symbolise your soulmate, but also how you'll realise that they are your soulmate. (because unlike the romace novels it isn't always "bond" at first sight, sometimes it takes YEARS to discover what was there all along). Now imagine Stiles so obsessed with his very-much everlasting state of virginity because of his bite mark on his chest and HELLO what else could that mean. (part 2 in the next ask)

Part 2: Or imagine derek trying everything to get rid of his mark, because the bullet shaped mark was the reason his young naive self approached the argents, and KATE, in the first place. And we all know how that went.

The water was cold as it splashed on his face – cold and refreshing – and his hands stayed pressed against his face for a long minute, his eyes closed and a tired sigh leaving him. Slowly, Derek dropped his hands from his face and grabbed the edges of the sink. He hesitated before finally lifting his gaze to the mirror in front of him.

His eyes, blank with a hint of sadness and bags heavy underneath them, found the bullet shaped mark slightly to the left of the center of his chest immediately.

Derek had been five when his mom had sat him down and told him about soulmates and soulmarks for the first time. And because of his soulmark, it had also been when he was told of hunters and how he needed to be careful. More careful than any of his siblings and any of his friends.

He had been five and hadn’t listened. He hadn’t listened when he was thirteen either, nor when he was sixteen and approached the woman he thought he was his soulmate.

It had been years – long and painful years – and he had yet to forgive himself for that. He doubted he ever would,and looking at his soulmark made him feel sick to his stomach.

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I think I took my old company down over a $240 dispute.

I’m honestly not sure if this belongs here, or in @petty-revenge-stories, but I thought you guys might get a bit of a chuckle over this.

Sorry, it’s long.

I was the lead editor for a production house. We did mostly commercials, for radio and television. Small company, but we did pretty well for the most part, but being a small company jobs overlapped, and since I know how to use Google, I also became the “IT” guy.

I worked at this production house for 8 years. Overall, I was pretty content there. I made some awesome friends, but my boss (the owner / production manager) was a real dick. He was the kind of guy who would hire people for as little money as possible, and get them to work 12-16 hour days for the fucking experience.

My boss was the kind of person who would tell you on a daily basis how great a boss he was; how effective a leader he was. Every day wasting his time and money on ridiculous meetings that literally took half a day and consisted of nothing meaningful, but a huge amount of head-inflation. He would routinely deny people any kind of monetary raise, even after years of experience, saying that the company could not afford that. All while he furnished his private office, which was an entire floor above the rest of the office space, with extravagant furniture and expensive decorations.

I could honestly make an entire post on how awful a boss / terrible a person this guy was, so after some quick reflection on how much typing I want to do today, here’s a list of the worst things he was doing on company time:

  • Drinking and driving
  • Would routinely get me to pirate software for him, including software we used to actually run the business
  • Not putting anyone on payroll, which means you are forever a “freelancer” at this company
  • Hired a company who would build an entire second story to the office without a permit
  • Somehow crossing the Canada-US border drunk and with open alcohol
  • Withholding people’s pay
  • Buying things for the office; stealing them for his home
  • No vacation time / pay
  • he expected all of us to either work through a client’s funeral, or take a couple of hours as “no pay leave”)
  • He would degrade all employees, but he was way more harsh on the female employees
  • Would literally scare people into submission
  • Micromanage everything. Blame employees for following directions.

Anyways the list goes on and on. But for the most part, non of this really affected me, until his wife started working for the company.

She was hired on after being fired elsewhere, as our accountant. She would track our hours every day, making sure to conveniently neglect any extra time we put in over weekends, or after hours. Somehow, even after working a 50-60 hour week, she would come after employees saying they were only available for 30 hour or so. Again, these were all things that never really affected me, until Christmas 2015.

I got notice two days before our Christmas paycheck, via email, that the accountant was going to take $240 or so off my regular pay, because I had left the office for two hours during the week. I calmly replied to the email that we all gotta do what we gotta do, and hopped online and started applying to editing jobs elsewhere.

I told my wife about this, and got irrationally mad about it.

Nearly instantly, I was offered a job from my current employer, which I accepted. At that point I told my wife I give my old employer a year before they close down.

We made a list, and dealt with each item to the best of our abilities.

I anonymously reported both my boss and his wife for drunk driving, as well as letting a couple of my cop buddies know about it. On my boss’ Facebook page, he was complaining about how many times he had been pulled over recently. He seems to still be driving, but at least it was an inconvenience to them.

I reported the software piracy. The pirated software was Windows, Microsoft Office, and the Adobe Creative Suite. Adobe didn’t do anything, but Microsoft took it pretty seriously, and I heard from one of my old coworkers that they didn’t fight the fines.

I also filled out form CPT1-E (I think that’s what it was called), which is designed to help employers and employees understand whether or not employees should be on payroll or not. From what I gather through the grapevine, this let to something called a forensic audit, which seems to have led to a lot of back payments or something. I’m not an accountant, and I don’t really know how all this works, but from what I understand my old employer ended up paying quite a few fines. This is all unconfirmed grapevine stuff though.

I reported locally regarding the floor that was built without a permit. More grapevine stuff, but it seems that made selling the office a little more difficult. So I’ll add that to the win pile.

So anyways, I was wrong. I told my wife it would be a year and they would be shut down. It took a year and 3 months. The company is officially closing March 31, 2017. I don’t know if any of my actions are directly responsible for the closure, but I’d like to think I at least pushed it in that direction.

The Void Inside Me (NSFW 18+)

A/N: This idea was sprouted by one of those ads we’re the two people are texting about something really agnsty or suspenseful and you have to download the app to see the whole story. I loved the idea so much and thought no one would be more suited for it than Void. I want to thank @writing-obrien for seriously helping me out with this when I was completely stumped. Also @celestial-writing because this fic would not be finished if it weren’t for her motivating me to push through up until the very end. And @sarcasticallystilinski too for all her feedback. I think they all edited this at some point too so thank you beautiful babes, I love you all more than most. Lastly, Koneko is Japanese for kitten so says google translater. I’m sorry if I got that wrong.

Warnings: Smut; choking.

Word Count: 6860

|Masterlist|

Originally posted by teendeucalion

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ao3 link


Yuuri is in the kitchen when he hears Victor call it out in question. They had just finished up supper and Victor had cooked so Yuuri was in the kitchen washing up the dishes to return the favor. And he’s just standing by the dishwasher, humming idly and wondering if Victor has picked out a movie for them to watch or if tonight is going to be a night where they watch game shows featuring Victor yelling out the answers that can actually be correct on occasion. It had been a long day at the rink and Yuuri even wonders if maybe they’ll have a nice glass of wine before bed.

So, Yuuri is just minding his own business, not thinking twice when Victor calls out his name. He hums back, expecting a question or statement about leftovers but then…

“What’s yaoi?”

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SIX FEET UNDER | SugarDaddy!Seb x Reader

Originally posted by calif0rnia-lovers

Masterlist

A/N: Okay ya’ll there is at least going to have to be a part 2 to this because it’s getting so long. I’ve had this idea brewing for a while, so let me know what you think! (And watch for part 2 later this week)


You stepped out of the elevator, your bright lapis blue suede high heels clicking softly with each step. You were wearing the usual on top – a fitted black dress, as was dress code. Today, your dress had triangular shaped mesh cut outs. Might as well go out with a bang, you thought whilst dressing yourself this morning. Your gold necklace continued to bounce with each step you took as you approached the corner that would take you directly past the boss’s office.

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(Super-fast idea, because I found this picture and after laughing at the Sheriff’s face for two minutes straight, the idea hit me straight in the face)

Several years in the future, Derek and the Sheriff are kind of buddies.

Derek is a consultant for the Beacon Hills police when any kind of supernatural crime occurs, or when they need his super sniffer in critical urgencies (Derek found the lost little girl almost immediately, while the K9 unit from the next town was still lost in the wood. The Sheriff was proud. They never talk about the fact that they had to circle the town in the John’s police car, Derek’s head hanging out of the window like a poodle on a roadtrip).

So the John and Derek sometimes hang out, they watch football match together, they have a beer, they talk about Stiles’ news from college. They enjoy each other’s company in a very quiet, simple way.

Then, Stiles comes back to Beacon Hills for Christmas, and immediately comes out as bisexual to his dad.

The Sheriff blinks, then hugs him. And that should be the end of it. He is genuinely glad that Stiles told him, and happy that he seems to grow up happy in his own skin.

John honestly doesn’t mean to search stuffs online, but he’s bored, and one innocent question about LGBT rights typed into google quickly devolve into following all kind of links and falling deep. Too deep.

He manages to keeps the anxiety at bay all the way to Derek’s home, and his knock on the door is barely frantic. But Derek opens the door as if he was expecting the Sheriff to be on fire, so John guesses that he didn’t control his panic-stricken heartbeat as well as he thought.

After a few minutes of assuring Derek that no, Stiles is fine, John is fine, everyone is fine, no Stiles isn’t hurt, nobody’s kid got missing again, Melissa is fine, there is no monster eating anyone, Stiles is totally ok, and getting a glass of perfectly good whisky from Derek (who apparently keeps it around just for John), John finally explains.

Because Derek? Derek is bisexual.

They have talked about it in passing several times. Derek’s ex, Jeff, used to be a cop in New Jersey until he got shot in duty and became a teacher. Derek spends some nights drinking at the Jungle and he glared while talking about shitty techno music. Derek gives money to an association for LGBT kids and go there to help sometimes.

To the Sheriff, it never seemed like a detail more important than knowing that Derek hates cheap beer or that he is a sore loser when his sport team get slaughtered.

But now, now it is important. Because the Sheriff needs someone with answers, precise answers, about things that he can ask directly to his kid.

About giant sex toys and trip to the ER and drugs use and STDs and biphobia and bullying.

He kind of blurt it all. Derek’s eyes look gigantic and his eyebrows almost fly off his forehead.

So that’s how Derek becomes the Sheriff’s mentor in everything LGBT.

It’s not as weird as it could be.

Derek answers all his questions as best as he can, tries to reassure him and, when he doesn’t know, they look for information together online while staying far away from certain websites.  

(all the while, Derek tries to ignores really, really hard, that Stiles is bisexual and apparently single. It’s impossible).

Then I don’t know.

Maybe the Sheriff brings Derek back home in the hope that Derek will talk with Stiles about all these stuffs (because he’s not sure he has mastered the details enough to give the bisexual version of the Talk, and also, the image of the gigantic dildo is still haunting him).

So they end up all around the kitchen table, Stiles looking bewildered, Derek resigned and awkward and the Sheriff looking at them with crazy eyes (again, gigantic dildo. And ER trips. Melissa works there, this can never happen to him) until they start talking.

Stiles knows all those things. Derek knows that Stiles knows. They talk about it anyway because, well, the Sheriff look kind of grey in worry.

Then Stiles finally understands that Derek is bisexual. And single. And Derek knows that Stiles is bisexual. And single. The awkwardness quickly turns to vague innuendo, then overt flirting, then eyefucking over mugs of coffee.

The Sheriff gets his colors back progressively. He wonders for a second if he should protest this development (the whole, 7 years older and a werewolf thing may be a problem), but really, Derek is a great man.

And he apparently knows how to use lube, condoms, and would never be stupid enough to use a gigantic dildo then lose it somewhere in his son.

All in all, he’s ok with the direction this whole thing is taking.

When Thoughts are Louder than Words

❤ Soulmate Drabble (9/13) ❤

Originally posted by wouhui

Member: Jun
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1,010

At eighteen you form a telepathic connection with your soulmate. 


At the age of eighteen, everyone hears their soulmate’s thoughts for the first time. It’s a simple connection that helps you find the other person, or at least figure out who the person is if you already happen to know them. It’s something that everyone waits with baited breath for; finding out who they’re destined to spend their life with. It doesn’t happen immediately on your eighteenth birthday of course, but somewhere within your eighteenth year. You remember when your cousin first heard her soulmate’s voice; she had been visiting at your house and halfway through dinner she gasped and dropped her fork. Your mom worriedly reached a hand out and asked if she was okay, and your cousin just looked up with a smile and tears in her eyes.

You turned eighteen a few months ago and so far it’d just been silence. You were getting a little antsy, but you knew that it’d happen soon enough. Maybe not this soon, though. You were trying your hardest to go over your notes for a big exam the next morning. It was almost midnight and you just couldn’t get the information down. Your own scribbled handwriting was glaring up at you, and you felt hatred for the lines of purple ink on the page. Why couldn’t you have done a better job at getting down the information from class? You wanted to scream, but you also didn’t want to wake up everyone within a 50-mile radius, so you tried your best to keep the scream on the inside. It turns out that someone had heard you even still, though.

“Nǐ hái hǎo ma?” a small voice asked somewhere in the back of your mind. Your eyes popped open and you sat up straight. Could that really have been what you thought it was? Was that…your soulmate? You focused as hard as you could to try and reach out into the spirit-net and say something back.

“Hello? Are you there?” you all but whispered to yourself, thinking it as hard as possible.

“Ó, wǒ de shàngdì” the low voice replied. Oh, well, shit. Okay. Yep. Definitely your soulmate. And that definitely was not a language you understood.

“Do you know English?” you asked him carefully. There was a long period of silence. You bit your lip and fiddled with the pen in your hands as you waited for him to say anything. The second hand moved all the way around the clock on your wall three times before you heard him reply.

“He…llo. My…name is Junhui.” the voice struggled to say. “I speak…no English, I live from China.” Oh god. Your soulmate was Chinese. You could feel your heart beat a mile a minute in your chest. This was going to make things a lot harder. God, what did you know how to say in Chinese? You knew how to say hello in Mandarin. You prayed he didn’t speak exclusively Cantonese, because then you’d be screwed.

“Nǐ hǎo, Junhui” you thought back to him, quickly grabbing your phone to get to google translate something as fast as possible. Your fingers flew across the keyboard, and you tried your best to read the romanization of the complex characters that popped up. “Wǒ de…míngzì shì…Y/N. Wǒ bù shuō…….zhōngwén” (My name is Y/N. I don’t speak Chinese). You hoped that had been understandable. 

You stayed up way too late that night having completely forgotten about the exam you needed to be studying for, but instead having a slow, broken conversation with Jun through clunky google translated phrases. You learned that he liked acting, singing, and martial arts. You tried your best to tell him about yourself, but you eventually fell asleep as the sun began peeking through your window.

You got a less than stellar grade on the exam the next morning, but you’re not even phased as you race to the bookstore to buy as many beginner’s Chinese textbooks as you could afford. You spent the next year studying as much as you could, and Jun was doing the same thing with English. You loved hearing him excitedly thinking about a new English phrase he had learned that day. You managed to grow close with one another; mentally, of course. You still lived in totally different countries, but that would change soon. After a long year of sharing thoughts, dreams, and songs stuck in your head with each other, you finally were able to communicate well enough to set up a meeting.

You twiddled your thumbs at the airport, waiting in front of the arrival gate and trying to remember to breathe. He had gotten a direct flight from the Shenzhen Bao'an International Airport, meaning he’d be pretty tired. You didn’t want to overwhelm him, but you were also dying to meet him. You looked through the crowd of people walking towards the baggage claim, scanning each face worriedly.

“Where are you?” you thought to him, shifting your weight from foot to foot anxiously.

“Turn around.” you heard much louder and clearer than usual. You whipped your head around, and there he was. Tall, golden, and beautiful; your Jun. His mop of dark hair was swooped to the side, and he was wearing a big sweatshirt that spanned over his broad shoulders. You couldn’t believe your eyes. After all this time he was right there and you couldn’t even process it. He seemed to be drinking the sight of you in just as deeply, and the rest of the world seemed to fade away to the two of you.

“Wow,” somebody thought. You weren’t entirely sure which one of you had thought it, but it represented your feelings just the same. You finally broke out of it, throwing your arms around him.

“Zuìhòu,” you whispered into the soft material of his hoodie. He hummed into your hair, gripping you just as tight.

“Mmhmm. At last.” he murmured back. The sound of his voice was so much more satisfying than the sound of this thoughts. It sounded deep, warm, and so much like home.

- Marcy

Vampire!BTS Reaction to: Being So Hungry That They Accidentally Bite You

Hey! So I just stumbled upon your blog through a quick Google search of “vampire bts x reader” and I fell in love with your vampire!au about the guys biting reader. I was wondering if you could do one where BTS accidentally bites you because they’ve gone a long while without feeding? They haven’t fed in so long because they feel guilty about feeding on humans while they’re dating one. If it isn’t too much, can you make a reaction from BTS and reader’s point of view? Thank you so much!


Jin: Would be the first to stop feeding on humans. The second he starts to form a crush on you, he transitions over to animals. Which is difficult, for a “foodie” like Seokjin. He was well known for only feeding off the most succulent of humans and in comparison, animals are so … bland and boring. It won’t take long until he looses control of his hunger, especially with you around. Your scent drives him insane, until he can’t hold back anymore. He’ll pounce randomly, when you weren’t expecting it. You hadn’t realized how much he was struggling with an animal diet, until you’re pinned to the wall, his teeth sinking into your neck. He’s too strong to fight off and you genuinely think you would have died that day, if it weren’t for Namjoon who pulled him off.

Ashamed, Jin avoids you for a week until you eventually corner him.

“I’m not disgusted by you, Seokjin. I know the diet must be hard for you. You don’t have to stop feeding from humans. I won’t love you any less for it.”

Now that he’s tasted the finest dish in the world, he can’t go back to basic blood. “Can I have a taste of you instead?” he wonders. A drop of you far outweighs the bland blood of hundreds.

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Suga: Didn’t even want to stop feeding on humans to begin with; food is food. That’s all humans are to vampires. But if it made you feel safer, he’ll stop. And the hunger, coupled with how he never even wanted this diet, make him snap. But not fully. He feeds from you, taking enough to make you dizzy, but not threaten your life. He pulls away, a drop of blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.

“I thought … that you were gonna kill me,” you shudder.

He smirks. “How could I kill my favourite dessert?” You were his favourite meal but since he’d starved himself so long, a taste of dessert simply isn’t enough. “I’m going out to find some dinner. Don’t wait up - I might be having seconds.”

Originally posted by yoonseok

J-Hope: You didn’t even realize how hungry he was. Hoseok was good at hiding his real feelings, to ensure the happiness of others. So when he snaps, you know he must have been hurting. You don’t fight him as he drinks from you, lovingly stroking his head instead.

“You were hungry, right? I’m sorry that you felt you needed to starve. Make sure you eat properly from now, even if it’s from humans. I don’t want you to suffer like this,” you tell him.

He pulls away, gasping for air. “I was so, so hungry. Every second of your scent was driving me crazy. I’m sorry I snapped.” He pressed a bloody kiss to your lips. “Thank you for still loving me. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going out to hunt.”

Originally posted by mn-yg

Rap Monster: You can tell that he’s about to break. He had been snapping at you this past week, even if you do nothing wrong. He makes you wear scarves or turtlenecks. And the darkness of his eyes is turning a bright red.

“Joonie?” you ask, pulling off your scarf. “You’re hungry, aren’t you? There’s no need to hide it from me. You can feed from me if you want.” He had gone on the diet to keep him “clean.” He wanted no one else’s blood inside of him, to sink his teeth into no one, but you. So he refused; “No, I’m fine, baby. I don’t need blood - I’m strong enough to resist.”

But two hours later, he surprises you by pouncing and harshly biting you. The pain makes you gasp but he doesn’t care. All he wants is your blood. He drinks until your heart slows down, making him realize just how much he had taken. Pulling away, he apologizes.

“I think you’re right … I’m not as strong as I thought I was. I’m going to feed from now on. Thank you for being so understanding.”

Originally posted by bangtanboys-official

Jimin: His personality had been different this past month. He’d been keeping to himself, pouting and staring into space. He swears nothing’s wrong. And you sort of believe him until you’re jumped one morning, pinned down as Jimin bites into your neck.

He doesn’t feed much, just enough to wet his palette. He knows he needs to hunt, but hadn’t wanted to do so while hungry. His mother told him never to shop on an empty stomach. “Sorry about that, I couldn’t help myself.” You understand that the diet must have been hard for him, but shock keeps you from talking. All you can do is nod. He tenderly kisses the bite mark. “I’m going out to feed. Then I’ll be back, to punish you for putting me on this stupid diet to begin with.”

Originally posted by chimchams

V: The intensity of his gaze confuses you. He’s not your Taehyung anymore, he’s the monster he always warned you he was, but you never believed in. The cute boy was gone and only a hungry beast was left. He snapped, throwing you down, first biting your shoulder. Then your neck. He couldn’t decide where he wanted to feed from, where he wanted to taste you. Afraid for your life, you started to cry. Your tears brought Taehyung back, your Tae, not this monster. And he sits back with big doe eyes, looking sorrowful.

“I’m so sorry. I - I was so hungry and - “

“It’s okay,” you sniffle. “Vampires need to feed, right? Next time, don’t torture yourself like this. You can feed if you’re hungry, okay?”

He had agreed to stop feeding from humans because he thought he could. The thought of hurting one of your kind had been awful. But now his opinion had changed. Lions need to feed, no matter how cute the lamb is.

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

Jungkook: Hadn’t bought into the “vegetarian diet” at all. Vampires fed off humans, that was that. Although he loved you, as long as you were safe, he didn’t care for other humans. But if it made you happy, he would try. Out of stubbornness, he lasts the longest. He refuses to admit defeat until loosing control one day, accidentally biting and nearly killing you.

“I think … I should stop this diet.”

He’ll go clear his head and feed. When he returns, he’ll apologize for his behaviour. And seeing the fear in your eyes, fear of him, breaks his heart. Jungkook listens to everything you have to say. And you compromise on his diet. That way, you’re safe and he’s not starved.

Originally posted by sugutie

When Chasing Love (NSFW 18+)

A/N: Hiii, this is like my first ever Stuart fic. I’ve technically done one with the Hoes a while back but this is my first individual one. The title of this was based off a poem by Michael Faudet that is the bases for this fic. I want to thank @writing-obrien as usual for being my biggest motivator and helper, but I’m also going to thank her for any future help she will undoubtly lend me. This is really different than I’ve written before, but it was the best way I could think to give a good perspective from all sides instead of one. I also wanted to try this style of writing out, because I do plan on writing a Styida fic at some point. I hope you guys like this and thank you all for being wonderfully beautiful people.

Warning: Public Fingering and Alcohol Abuse (Because again, they’re drunk.)

Word Count: 3847

Originally posted by prettiestcaptain

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The Only Exception (Part 6)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,725

Warnings: language, angst, self-reflection, discomfort, melodrama, mentions of trauma, fire, rescue (of secondary character), sad thoughts. I don’t know. I’m no Shonda Rimes, but, tread lightly.

A/N under the cut.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

Originally posted by theworldisworthagif

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anonymous asked:

If you have time (omg I'm sorry but this prompt in my head forever) It's 3am and they are in a community kitchen in college and one is making brownies.

Percy had just wanted to get a glass of water.

When he enters the communal kitchen, blearily rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he realises what had woken him up in the first place. One of his roommates is standing with her back to him at the countertop, cracking eggs into a large mixing bowl. The kitchen looks devastated. Shared by six people, it never looks pristine, but right now a bomb could have gone off for the state it’s in.

“Um,” he says, still disorientated from the light and noise and explosion aftermath.

She turns and swears quietly. “Sorry, I thought I was being quiet.”

She was not, but Percy won’t begrudge her that. Partially because he’s a little bit in love with her (alright, mostly, but that’s not important right now), partially because he knows he’s woken her up at least half a dozen times since they moved into the dorms three months ago.

“S’alright. Just gettin some water.”

Annabeth smiles. “Alright.”

Percy opens the mug cupboard and after several seconds of staring at its contents and coming to terms with the fact that they don’t own any glasses not made of plastic, he grabs a mug with Walt Whitman’s face on it and fills it with water from the faucet. Instead of taking it back to his room with him, he leans back against the sink and watches Annabeth squint at her phone as she holds it three inches from her face.

“You alright there?” he asks.

She doesn’t look away from her phone. “My glasses are somewhere deep within my bag and I have neither the energy or determination to find them.”

“Okay.”

She looks at him. “Do you want to read this recipe for me or keep delivering these brilliant insights?”

He shrugs. “I feel like I could manage both.”

Annabeth hands her phone over with a roll of her eyes. Percy puts down his glass of water and shoves some of the debris aside so that he can sit on the counter top. Then he takes Annabeth’s phone and reads the title of the page.

“You need to google a recipe for brownies?”

“Alright, Martha Stewart. Just tell me what to do to make this delicious.”

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anonymous asked:

Jindosh in modern Academia for a prompt?

first of all, he’d be such a MEME

Rate Your Professor, student reviews:

>For everyone curious - yes, the thumb-vape is REAL

>Can’t wait for the day when T-800 comes from the future to stop Jindosh from inventing Skynet

>If Nikola Tesla and Walugi had a baby, and this baby was raised in a vapor store

>I never knew how great the capacity for hate was in my heart before I met him. I am a very peaceful person, but I could strangle him with his own ugly neck-tie.

>FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOUUUU

>If you thought Severus Snape treated his students badly, get a load of this guy

>My biggest nightmare is that at the greatest moment of my life Jindosh appears and says “Mediocre”.

>One guy was texting during the class and Jindosh jumped from the lector podium, ran up to him, grabbed his phone and threw it out of the window

>The Genius. The Myth. The Dickbag.

>One time he brought something that looked like a box with a periscope on top of it to the class and turned it to us. It pointed laser lines at the foreheads of everyone in the audience and kept tracking people even if they tried to move. Jindosh calmly looked at his clock and said “Hm, 3,5 seconds for a target lock-on.  Needs improvement.”

>There’s a tradition of buying “I Survived Kirin Jindosh’s Murder Course” t-shirts at the end of the year.

> Daddy Long Legs

>One time I saw him drinking coffee from a fancy porcelain cup, then casually chug down 2 red bulls in less than a minute and get back to sipping coffee like nothing happened

>I got a job at Google after I showed them a page from my lab project where Jindosh wrote “Interesting”.

>When I see movies with mad scientists after taking this class: “Pfff, amateurs!”

>He gave us test papers today. We should have been alarmed that it looked like a normal test instead of his usual fucking puzzles, but we were just happy. “He was too busy building death rays in his basement!” we thought. The fools! We started working on a test and after like 20 minutes noticed that our first answers vanished. The paper was dissolving the ink! Jindosh smiled and said that this test will make up one third of our final grade. And then he sat there, smirking and vaping from his goddamn thumb, and watched us panic and try to find something that won’t disappear on these fucking papers.  

>Good luck with your grades if Jindosh doesn’t find you interesting, and God help you if he does.

>This is the asshole that you’re going to hate and curse more than all of the other teachers combined, but then one day he says “Impressive. There might be some potential in you after all” and it’s the proudest you’ve ever felt.

Shit Kirin Jindosh Says, a collaborative documentary account:

“Since you’ve turned in your first homework at the last week’s class, it’s time to address the grades. Everyone gets an “F”.  I didn’t actually read your homework, of course, because I have infinitely more interesting and important things to do than reading your feeble attempts to grasp the obvious. In fact, I could achieve more advancement of the modern technology in a time that this lecture takes than all of you combined will manage in your entire lives. But if anyone thinks that their work deserves my attention, tell me and I will read it right now, and then share everything I think about your papers and you in particular.”

“I took points from the score of your project, Williams, because it’s ugly. Yes, it’s functional, and yes, there’s even an idea that is not completely banal, but it’s put together sloppily. You didn’t perfect the design until the elegance and simplicity of forms could emerge. If you’re not interested in doing this because you want to save your precious time for drinking and orgies, then I suggest you transfer to Sokolov’s class.”

“Today’s lab work is a group project. You will form pairs and each complete one half of the presented tasks. For the next class each of you will also write a program that can complete the same tasks as your partner did. The final goal is to successfully replace the human counterpart.”

“You make me test and challenge myself every day, Parker. I’m used to my genius mind knowing no boundaries, no limits of imagination, yet in the multitude of all possible universes I struggle to imagine a single one where you said anything worthwhile.”

“I have few comments to make regarding a so-called “Jindosh-bot” that roamed the premises yesterday. The integration of a smoke machine for hand-pipe is moderately clever, and the moustache wind-mill was not devoid of originality.  But the movement dynamics are horribly outdated! What did you use as a prototype, an epileptic cow? This is inexcusable as you have an access to the documentation of the Clockwork’s early builds. Overall, B- for the effort.”

SKJS is proud to present our first Kirin Jindosh dub-step remix. Mind your sensitivities, people!

Attached file: “Scintillating_industry.mp3”

(English Subs + Text) Soraru and Mafumafu’s new Cooking Videos

”I tried making Sticky Ramen for my friend”
I’ve subbed Soraru’s latest video on his official channel where he tries to cook a meal for Mafumafu! :O If the English subs don’t pop up immediately, click the gear icon and enable them~

Below the “read more” is the full transcript for Mafumafu’s video!
Watch Mafumafu’s video here.
I can’t subtitle it because his channel doesn’t have community contributions enabled, sorry! ;_; But feel free to share the link to this post if you see people wanting to know what’s happening in the video!
This goes line by line and might be a bit hard to understand without the video side by side, so feel free to ask if you have any questions~ I hope you enjoy both videos! :)
(Please do not use these translations to upload a subbed version of either video to Youtube or anywhere else)

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Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off (Sebastian Stan x Reader) Pt. 5

A/N: hello lovelies! part 5 is finally here! This chap gets hella angsty AND steamy! ;) I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! - Delilah

Warnings: Angst. Sexual pictures. NSFW. Online relationships. Swearing. There is a very graphic picture at the end so beware lol!

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SovietWomble Prompts!

(Because his videos are the funniest and most uplifting thing I know)

“Me and my flip-flops are ready to go.”

“I am now poor.”

*Alone in the woods* A: *weirdly calm* “There’s something walking towards us from behind you guys.” *B and C freak out*

“How can someone be so cute?”

“UNCLEAN!”

“I thought you were watching?” “Yeah, I was, I stopped paying attention.”

“My scuba suit protects me from your bullshit.”

“God, fucking damn it A, you piece of…good job.” “What was that?” “I’m rebranding myself as the nice guy.” … “You lasted all but 7 seconds.”

“Surprise!” *explosion*

“English is not my first language, okay?” “You’re American.”

“A, what’s wrong with him?” “Many things.”

“I have got a plan!” “Which is?” “A terrible plan.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to you when you’re not eating.”

“A, I think you should take one for the team and run off as bait as the rest of us survive.”

“I’m under attack by a bucket!”

“I haven’t heard a word of the briefing, I was too amazed by the hand gestures.”

“We have a small technical issue.” “Which is?” “I seem to have run out of bullets.” “…it’s been five minutes.”

“You need your medication, come back here!”

“Why do you have a gun, A?” “’Cause it’s Thursday.”

“You lied to me!” “It’s not my fault you’re an idiot.”

“I really like dolphins, I wanna see one!”

“You can’t have a secret dance club, we have a job to do!”

“I’m a funky janitor.”

“If A starts saying something odd, just ignore him/her/them.”

“There are civilians in the village.” “I think the way you pronounce that is acceptible casualities.” “NO.”

“So you’re now just gonna kill people for just being tempted for deserting?” 

“I’d like for you to know you are a piece of human shit.”

“OH MY GOD ALMIGHTY, JESUS CHRIST, MARY AND JOSEPH!”

“Turns out these are just the noises A makes when he/she/them is alone in his/hers/their room.”

“Clearly we lead different lifestyles.”

“Were you dropped on your head as a child?”

“SHUT UP, I’m trying to impose Zen you dumb bitch!”

*inhales helium* “Fuck you A.”

“Do NOT search that on Google!”

“I don’t know whether to eat Pringles, breathe or laugh!”

“He’s never gonna shut up about that now.”

“No more button pressing, okay?!”

“Everything is black, is this heaven?”

“Really? You’re gonna hide under the building like a house cat?”

“A? Can you stop touching my knee?”

“Um, my vision has gone green.” “You have green sunglasses on.” “Ah, that might be the reason.”

“If you’re not on a no-fly list somewhere in the world, someone is not doing their job.”

“Don’t open that.” “Wha-” *explosion* “…You could have told me you put a freaking bomb in there!”

*runs by* “EVERYTHING IS OKAY!”

“I HAVE ACHIEVED ULTIMATE POWER!”

“Did you see the way my hips were moving?”

“Are you in the habit of tattooing everyone unconcious?”

“My echolocation was not very effective.”

“My tummy hurts.”

“Is he going to go sulk in the corner?”

“That’s um… staggeringly unhelpful actually.”

“No, I’m having a snack, leave me alone.”

“Do those things and then jump off a bridge.”

“Look, think of it as science.”

“A,” “Yes?” “I want you-” “I want you too!” “-to…” “Oh we were talking about something else, my bad.”

“SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP.”

“I didn’t appreciate your insults to my mother yesterday.”

“I have an auto-sniper and exactly zero shame.”

“Ahahahahaha, you’re so- fuck you.”

“Whenever you do something awesome it’s ‘Oh look at me’ but whenever you screw up it’s ‘Oh we’re a team’.”

“You are actually hiding in a hedge.”

“Don’t worry boys, pappas’ got this.”

“I know Psychology, I use it on you.” “What do you you mean you use it on m-” “Nevermind.”

“I’ll hit you.” “Sorry.”

“A continues to amaze me.”

“We only had about three hundred bullets, and you’ve just wasted all of our ammunition in case we get attacked?”

“Dude, something’s happening.”

“I literally have no control over myself.”

“I just wanted you to know that I genuinely despise your existence you piece of shit.”

“In my eyes A, you are a beautiful caterpillar.” “What?!”

Oh no, what appears to have happened?”

“I will not leave you A.” C: ”I will.”

“I do not trust you, turn around!”

“Where were you guys when they were trying to BLOW UP THE FRICKING BUILDING?!”

“Sorry, is this supposed to be spooky?”

“I technically landed.”

“Make it interesting…nOT THAT INTERESTING!”

“I thought there was a guy in front of me but it was my own shadow.”

“Well we can tick ‘genocide’ off our to do list.”

“That’s a lot of dead people.”

“You ran in front of a machine gun?!”

“I don’t have Medi’stuff’, I didn’t expect the two of you to be this incompetent.”

“Stop parkouring and come get this jewelry.”

“Gayness?” “Gayness.”

“I don’t want to look because I’m scared.”

“Something just went ‘boom’.”

“Okay, that wasn’t where I left it!”

“We’re gonna go around the tornado.”

“No, no, no, don’t you dare say you can’t fly! FLY!”

“You’re so useless it’s not even funny.”

“Hey guys, I have an idea, why don’t you fuck off?

“I’m going to hide and if that fails…surrender.”

“Dipshit?” “Hmm?” “….the fact that you responded to ‘Dipshit’…”

“I have been trapped in my bathroom for the last 3 hours.”