i know i messed up something i swear

Routine (Part 3)

(Camboy AU Parts 1 and 2)

Pairing: Kagehina (NSFW)
Show: Haikyuu!! 

“—it’s three o’clock,” Kageyama says, “on a Thursday. I don’t want beer, I don’t want juice. I want to know why you’re—” he gestures vaguely to Hinata’s whole, squirming torso, “—doing that. What, you got worms? Do you—did you catch something? Have you given me crabs because I swear to god—”

Hinata balks, waving his hands in the space between them to shut Kageyama up.

No, oh my god. I don’t—I don’t have worms, or crabs, or any other…parasites. I’ve just got this, and I’m super excited about it.”

This, as it turns out, is a rumpled piece of paper. Hinata holds it flat on his palm, flicking his eyes between it and Kageyama’s face. He hops a little on his toes, and pushes his hand right up under kageyama’s nose.

“It’s a list!” He goes on. “I thought about it all after our first time, but there was just so much stuff I didn’t wanna forget, so last night, I finally wrote it all down!”

Kageyama blinks down at the wad of paper.

“A…list,” he says slowly. Hinata nods, frantic. “A list of what?”

“Things we can try! Like, you know, sex stuff.”

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Cuddles are the best remedy

Words: 691

Genre: Fluff (that’s all I know how to write apparently)

Warnings: Dan swears a bit, but what’s new

Description: Dan wakes up feeling unwell, and it’s way too early for him to deal with this

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He’s weak for the most ridiculous stuff and they 100% know and take full advantage of it

anonymous asked:

Argh they never let Robert have the sympathetic bit for long:(, I mean obviously people have sympathy for him anyway and loads of people did at his grief at missing Aaron but I feel like they never go out of their way to do that for long. So while I'm praying for a breakdown story it's also with sadness in thinking it won't happen and this is just another Robert messed up terribly Aaron has to find a way forgive him storyline. Gimme something different ED.

Praise that anon, let’s do something different eh? I’m getting sick and tired of the status quo, and who knows, fingers crossed. I swear I’m not making this up, I do honestly see something, and The Mill scene, Danny and the Emmerdale team, something is gonna happen, something none of us are expecting. 

The difference between EXO-K and EXO-M:

all right guys let’s do our best! ^^ D.O. dear, please remember to blink but don’t worry, you always look adorable. Just keep it in mind. ~~ Chanyeol honey, you know we love you just the way you are but try not to be hyperactive… Kai, my boy. Try not to be too shy and have fun!
Sehun, sweetie. Just try your best. Always smile! Baekhyun, just be yourself. Be confident. Let’s do well. EXO-K, fighting!

I swear to god Lay, if you forget your name again, I’ll cut you. Luhan, stop flirting with all the members, the fanfics are getting out of control. Xiumin, cease your endless chatter about food. People will think we’re a bunch of fatties or something. Chen, if you mess up your mandarin again, I’ll fire our translator. And Tao, the aegyo needs to go. Alright let’s do this shit.

Weird meeting/failed first impression
  • “I know you’re looking at me through the window cause I’ve been looking too.”
  • “I know we don’t know each other but what do you say about throwing water or something on those guys downstairs ?”
  • “How can you come in the wrong class EVERYDAY ? Stop waving at me please people are starting to think we’re dating but I don’t even know your name…”
  • “My friends and I approached you but then all that came through your mouth were swear words. Wow your personality really doesn’t match you style.”
  • “For once you missed your bus and I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now. So hi there what’s your name?”
  • “You were that annoying client who kept messing up and now you forgot your things so my co-worker asked me to go after you”
  • “I heard your music because you’re sitting beside me and I MUST talk to you about it.”
  • “You thought I was being attacked one day and not only did you intervene but now you’re playing bodyguard. They were my friends you know ?”
  • “I was walking home late when you suddenly jumped in my way and scared me (/tried to). What a way to make a first impression.”
  • “I don’t know why I took an umbrella but now I’m kind of happy I did because we’re having a good time. By the way I’m sorry I hit you with it.”
  • “I’m here because I heard there was a party but for some reason it seems nobody’s there but you. Hi ?”
  • “I thought you were someone else so I came to you to say hi but then I somehow hit your head I’m so sorry !”
  • “I was in my room when you suddenly showed up at my window and started talking to me. Who the hell are you ?”
Not a Real Werewolf - Theo Raeken

Requested by anonymous:
theo imagine where he’s arguing with the reader about the pack he wants (werecoyote, beta with anger issues, etc) and when he mentions void stiles or the nogitsune she gets really defensive because she’s dating stiles and she ends up going off on theo. please and thank you. and sorry this is so long. Oops
Warnings: Swearing. Angry Theo.
Word count: 1852
Note: I made the reader something supernatural and this is slightly different from the request but not really. I feel like it kind of sucks but I also kind of like it. Let me know what you think! Also, I’m really sorry I’m a day late on this but my internet was super messed up yesterday. 

Stiles was right, just like he always was. I’d believed him when he said that something was off about Theo but I had no idea he was that bad. He was dangerous and I still hadn’t completely figured out how to use my powers and protect myself yet I was standing face to face with the chimera in the middle of a rock parking lot. We were entirely alone.

“Why did you come here?” I asked despite the fact that I pretty much already knew the answer.

Theo smirked at me. “I’ve told you a million times, Y/N. I came here for a pack.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I got the basics of it all. But why don’t you tell me the truth? I mean, you’re probably going to kill me anyways, right? You’re going to kill me and pretend it was someone else, another chimera. Then you’re going to run to Scott and put on your admittedly impressive crying face and convince him that you did everything to try to save me, right? Because the only way you’re going to be in the pack is if I’m dead, right? I’ve always been in your way and you hate that, don’t you?”

His smirk was gone as quickly as it had appeared and he was fuming. “I don’t want to be part of Scott’s pack, I want the pack to be mine!”

I kept egging him on. “You can do better than that, Theo. The villain has to give his grand speech before he kills the person! We’ve all seen the movies. Where’s your grand speech, Theo? Did you write it yourself? Or did the Dread Doctors prepare it for you? Did they give you notecards for reference?”

He finally snapped. “I came for the werecoyote; the one whose first instinct is to kill. I came for the banshee; the girl surrounded by death. I came for the dark kitsune, the beta with anger issues. I came for Void Stiles. That’s the pack I want! Unfortunately, it doesn’t include you or Scott.”

I glared at him. “What the fuck did you just say about Stiles?”

Theo laughed. He actually, truly laughed. “Afraid the big bad nogitsune is going to come back and take over your precious boyfriend? Of course not. The nogitsune is gone but Stiles was never really the same again. You never really got him back, did you?”

I took a moment to think before I spoke. My hands were trembling and I didn’t speak until my hands had stilled. “Do you honestly think Void Stiles would be a good member for your dream pack? In what world do you live? Stiles himself doesn’t even listen to you. Do you really think you could control the Void part of him?”

He growled lowly but didn’t say anything.

I cocked my head to the side almost imperceptibly and examined his body language. He stood tall; legs splayed, arms folded tightly, hands balled into fists, shoulders square, and chin held high. His posture screamed aggression.
I then took note of the way I was holding myself. My right leg was crossed over my left, my arms were folded and I was gripping my upper arms. I looked too fragile and too nervous.

Theo was smart enough to notice body language so he probably knew.

“Your heart rate is rising.” He mentioned casually.

I nodded once. “Anger tends to lead to elevated heart rate. Although I’m sure you can smell my anger as well.”

He chuckled. “I smell fear more than anger. Word of advice, sweetheart-“

I cut him off. “Don’t call me that.”

There were approximately seven feet of space between us but the space dwindled as he rapidly approached me. I should’ve backed away. Any rational person would if someone like Theo rushed them. Despite my fear, I refused to move. Even when the space was reduced to three feet, two feet. Even when his hands gripped my shoulders violently.

His voice was surprisingly calm. “Do you think I’m stupid, Y/N?”

I shook my head. “As much as I wish you were, I know that you’re not. You’re smart. But then again, a lot of people are smart.”

“Then why do you think I’m going to fall for this act? You’re afraid of me, stop pretending that you’re not.” He growled.

“You really can’t stand it when things don’t go your way. That’s why you hate Stiles and I so much. You hate that we figured you out, you hate that he knew you weren’t the same, you hate that I stood in your way.”

“Shut up.” He spat.

I pushed his hands from my shoulders. “I don’t think I will, Theo. You see, I have a lot of things to say to you. So I suggest you shut up and listen.”

His eyebrows raised but he remained silent.

“Good job. You’re learning.” I smirked quickly before going back to glaring at him. “I was nice to you when you first showed up. I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a fraction of possibility that Stiles was wrong and that you were actually a decent guy. It wasn’t until I heard you talking to one of the Dread Doctors at Sinema that I realized you were a complete piece of shit.”

He’d gone pale when I mentioned Sinema, clearly he had no idea I’d overheard him while we were trying to save Hayden.

“Of course, Stiles was right, as always. You’re a manipulative, lying bastard. And I swear to god, if you so much as lay a single finger on my boyfriend-“

He cut me off. “What? You’re going to kill me?”

I shook my head. “Oh, absolutely not. You deserve so much more than what I’ll do to you. I was thinking perhaps Liam could have a go at you. I would say Scott but he’s just too nice, even after everything you’ve done. But Liam… Well, we know Liam. On any other day he might not actually kill you but seeing as it’s the super moon and you knew about everything that was happening to Hayden and you’re essentially the reason she’s slowly dying right now… Oh, darling. He’ll rip you apart.”

“What makes you think he’s strong enough to do that?” He asked.

“Because you’re not even a real werewolf, Theo! Or a werecoyote for that matter. You’re the Dread Doctors’ fucking toy! Let me ask you a question, do you actually think they would ever consider you their equal? They would kill you for even thinking that. And do you know why, Theo? Because you’re replaceable. And more importantly, because you aren’t fucking good enough.”

I could see him slowly crumbling. He was angry but he almost looked sad as well. He knew I was right. Of course I was right.

“Hurts, doesn’t it? Knowing that, without your little operation, you would be just like any other human. Maybe not just like. I mean, as far as I know, most of the population don’t fall under the category of complete-fucking-sociopath. Most of the population wouldn’t just sit by and watch their sister die. And don’t even get me started on those fake parents of yours. Why was it that Daddy Dearest’s signatures didn’t match up? A broken hand? No, of course not. He’s not your father. Did you kill your real father? What about your mom? Did you watch them die too?”

“Just like I’m going to make Stiles watch you die.” He threatened.

My body began to feel warm. I chalked it up to my heart rate continuing to rise but the look on Theo’s face assured me that this wasn’t the case, not entirely. He was staring at me with wide eyes and what almost looked like a smile.

“Well, that’s a surprise.” He chuckled. “What are you?”

I glanced down for a fraction of a second to see my hands glowing with bright orange flames that slowly danced up my arms, delightfully warm and soft. I smiled widely and I felt my eyes change.

His eyes found mine and he stumbled back a few steps at the sight of my eyes that glowed entirely white.

“I’m a witch, Theo.” I continued smiling and extended one hand in front of me, watching the flames grow taller in the middle of my palm. A flick of my wrist sent a small stream of flames shooting towards him, just over his head. I missed intentionally to give him somewhat of a warning.

The way he cringed away from the fire made me giggle delightedly.

“What were you saying about Stiles watching me die?” I asked, extinguishing the flames on my arms.

“I thought you… I thought your kind was killed off years ago.” He sputtered. “There haven’t been any witches for upwards of one hundred years. The humans killed you off, didn’t they?”

“Clearly not.” I laughed, feeling a soft breeze tickle my fingers and curl up my wrists.

“Is that all you can do?” He asked, the faintest hint of a smirk on his face. “Control the elements?”

I shook my head. “No, of course not. But I’m sure you don’t want to see what else I can do, Theo. You’ll be far too scared when you find out. Anyways, where’s the fun in giving away all of your secrets in the beginning?”

His eyes flashed gold before returning to their natural color. “I’m not scared. You’re practically a powerless human.”

“Practically isn’t much of a guarantee, is it?” I glared.

He opened his mouth to speak but instead he collapsed to the ground, a string of pained shouts escaping his mouth as he writhed. His eyes were shut tightly, his arms crossed over his torso as if he were trying to hold himself together. His screams made me feel stronger.

“Stop! Please, stop!” He begged. “Please, I’m sorry! Please just stop!”

I broke my concentration and he stopped writhing but remained on his back, gasping for breath. I walked over and took a seat, one knee pressing into his chest to keep him down. “I’ll make you a deal, Raeken. Stay away from Scott’s pack and that will never happen again. You come near any of us again, I’ll make it even worse. If you do anything to anyone we care about I’ll show you just what else I can do, and believe me, it gets much, much worse. And if you ever think about doing a single thing to hurt Stiles, I will slowly burn you to death. And when you’re just about there, just about to die, I’ll heal you and start all over. You think that the shit the Dread Doctors did to you was painful? You haven’t felt a fraction of the pain I can cause you, Theo.”

The look on his face was one of pure terror.

I stood up. A flick of my wrist carried him swiftly to his feet. He was frozen and had no idea what to do or where to go.

I took a single step towards him and he cowered back. I whispered one word that sent him rushing towards his truck.


Part 2

Part 3

Requests are open!


prompts: i had two requesting this fic and the idea has been haunting me forever. i couldn’t not write it ;D

genre: smut (what else would it be at this point sigh)

warnings: swearing, toys (fleshlight), masturbation uwu

word count: 998 (nice)

A/N: surprise mother truckers, i bring you something that isn’t really written a lot. i know it’s short, but bare with me, i think you will enjoy it…. i hope. i uploaded a fic last night, didn’t i? wow i’m on fire. okay well here’s this mess. hope you like <3

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Fun tip for men: If you admit you are wrong or that you messed up or are the person to blame for how something didn’t go as planned or say that you are sorry for anything ever or spend half a second empathizing, your penis won’t fall off and your testicles won’t shrivel up! I know that middle school health class might have implied differently but I swear that in my 23 years of life apologizing for when I do something wrong, my penis and both testicles are in tact and in perfect working order.