i know he hated doing this commercial

anonymous asked:

Theory: max's parents sent him to camp for praying the gay away (one of the things they do actually offer in the commercial) hence why he hates the camp so much

Ooooh, very interesting!

Honestly, I have considered this as an option in the past, but never had that much evidence to really support it. Looking back, there are scraps here and there to suggest Max was at Camp Campbell for this reason. The first is in episode five. Journey to Spooky Island. when Max says this line: 

Just teenagers from the Church Camp working on those repressions again. Not that I’d know anything about it, being a kid and all. 

This bit of dialogue, while seemingly just a throwaway line on the surface, is very substantial to this theory. It not only shows Max clearly knows more than people think he does on this issue, but also suggests he has gone through them personally. There were a few other pieces I thought might be able to fit in with this theory, but they were such minor things that I felt didn’t really help solidify this theory.

Anyway, I certainly think this theory is quit possible, and I may even revisit it if season two gives us any further hints towards it.

(apologies for no visuals, my computer is being a butt today for some reason) 

Teasing is caring (Derek Morgan x Reader)

Request (by @latina-spice​): Derek Morgan, #12 and #14 please and thanks!⇒ “Wait, I have an idea.” “Really?” s/he looked at him with a fake seriousness “Your mother would be so proud.” & “What’s your biggest regret?” “Trusting you.” “You make it so dramatic. All I did was eat the last piece of cake!” “Exactly.”

Fandom: Criminal Minds (no specific season)
Pairing: Derek Morgan x Fem!Reader (romantic)
Summary: You work at the BAU and, besides your job, the thing you love the most is teasing a certain agent. Valentines Day comes around and you have no date but who knows what can happen.

Warnings: fluff
Word Count: 829

Keep reading

Coffee Shop Rescue IV

Pairing: Peter Parker x Female Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1340

Summary: You’re enjoying your time with Peter, and start making connections. (I’m so so sorry this has taken so long. I just graduated college and had to move and I’m working on finding a job, and I got a one week job at a summer camp, and I got rear-ended, and yeah, life has been hectic, but I’ve missed this story so much! And mostly I miss you all! But I also wrote myself into a corner that I just figured out how to get out of, so here it goes…)

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

You learned a lot about Peter over the following weeks. He was right - he was a nerd, absolutely, but so were you, just about different things. He knew photography and science, you knew literature and grammar. The common ground came to movies and tv shows, which you were both pleased to find out you had a lot in common on that front. You were more into Star Wars while he preferred Star Trek, and he liked Narnia to your Lord of the Rings, but you both loved Harry Potter possibly more than should be considered reasonable (and were both able to realize that Snape is a controversial character but not exactly a good one, which was the most important thing in regards to that fandom). You could debate the two for hours - and had - without actually getting angry at each other.

T.V. was a little different, neither of you had much to get heavily involved in shows, but you were still clinging to the ones you’d had time for in college. Peter, on the other hand, tended to jump between shows sporadically.

Keep reading

Sunflower Tattoo

Hi everyone, this is a small drabble inspired by this prompt http://dailyau.tumblr.com/post/151667685713/i-work-at-a-flower-shop-and-youre-a-tattoo-artist

I’ll post another OS/update one of my MC on Wednesday again after my exam :)

Hope you enjoy!


He does this every other day. Walk into their store, right after he closes his, sits on a stool right across the counter, where she sits day in and day out, faking smiles, forcing small talk and curating bouquets of flowers for other people when she’s never gotten one herself. Yet, she loves her job. It’s her own shop, and she has a set of loyal clientele and makes a good profit, especially considering the fact that she only opened up this store about 4 months ago. Also, it doesn’t hurt that he works right across her.

He owns a tattoo parlor, one of those old school ones, that hosts a niche selection of clients who are willing to pay a ridiculous amount of money to get their bodies inked. She grew up in a very traditional household, Christian and conservative, tattoos were heavily discouraged. It also doesn’t help that she’s always been a little afraid of needles. But there have been times, when she’s looked across the street, and seen him bent over a person’s body, heavily concentrating on his art, that she’s seriously considered getting one. Regardless, she gets her best view of him across her own shop.

It started about a month ago, when he’d walked into the store, and she’d been a little enchanted by him. His face, his eyes, his lips, and even the gorgeous sleeve tattoos that he had. He was a textbook version of the kind of boy April’s parents always warned her against. The one her hormonal infused teenage dreams couldn’t get rid of. And his smile. Oh god, his smile. She hadn’t really heard what she found herself agreeing to, but his voice was low and sharp, and she figured he could convince her to help him bury a dead body, no questions asked.

They hadn’t spoken much after that, except for the hellos, thank yous, you’re welcomes and goodbyes. There’s no small talk, and she appreciates it in a way. But she wants to talk to him, she wants to get to know him. She’s just spent the last few weeks working up the courage to do it. He comes in here, sits and sketches flowers for a good hour and then leaves.

“Have a good day.” She smiles at the man in front of her who just ordered a batch of flowers, for his wife, Megan. He’s a frequent client, and she finds it endearing that he buys her flowers almost every week. Lucky girl.

The bell chimes, as the door closes behind him, and April turns around to clear up her workspace. It’s just the two of them. She’d sent off her two other employees early today, considering how it had been a slow day.

“He’s cheating on his wife.”

April looked up all of a sudden, a little confused as to whom the voice belonged to and realized he was speaking. Jackson. She’d caught that much. He was still sketching, his hand moving effortlessly across the paper, but she was pretty sure he’d spoken up.


“He’s cheating on her.” He repeats, and finally looks up.



Her eyes widen and she wonders how on earth he knows that. It’s ridiculous. Jacob seems like a wonderful man.

“How do you know that?” She asks, a little curious and also a little giddy, because he was talking to her.

“Well, for starters, he says he’s been married for 15 years right?” He asks her, tapping his pencil on his book. She nods.

“Well, no man who’s been married to someone for that long still buys his wife flowers every single week, unless he has something to feel guilty about or apologize for. It’s sweet, romantic, at first. But overtime, the novelty wears off, and she doesn’t expect it. You say I love you very differently when you’re married for that long.”

“Like how?” She asks, a little too curious.

“Well, you do the dishes without them asking you to or you put the kids to bed while the other person takes a bath. Flowers become insignificant next to those.”

She smiles at him, because he’s right. All that sounds much more considerate than flowers. Even she can admit that.

“That’s the only reason?” She perks an eyebrow, and shoots her that half grin she’s starting to get addicted to seeing.

“Well, there’s also the fact that he buys 3 bouquets every week. The same one twice, white and red roses, and the other one is purple tulips. Surely, one woman likes either/or, not both. If that was the case, he’d buy three different kinds of bouquets.” He closes his sketch pad, and stands up.

She leans against the counter, brows furrowed, “So the odd one out is for the mistress?”

“Bingo. The mistress whom he calls, sweetheart. He addresses the other two to, Megan or my beautiful wife. The third is always sweetheart. He never gives a name for that bouquet. And I’m willing to bet that’s because it’s not Megan. Probably Carol.”

She giggles at that, but he’s starting to make more sense now and it’s making her realize how naive she could be sometimes. She’d definitely not be giving Jacob anymore discounts in the future.

“What an asshole.”

“I know right?”

They laugh, and for the first time, the air lightens up, and she finds that she likes him a whole lot better.

“You’re very observant.” She comments, as he leans forward against the counter, and she catches a glimpse of a sketch poking out of his book.

He shrugs, “I also have a photographic memory. That helps.”

She’s impressed.

“Like, for example, I know that your favorite flowers are sunflowers because you love that they turn to the direction of the sun and you also love them because not many people do. You hate roses, they’re too clichèd. Nothing special. Merely a product of mass commercializations thanks to Valentine’s Day. You love when people come here to buy flowers for their friends and family, because you think people shouldn’t just buy flowers for their romantic partners. You hate Debbie. She takes so long in the store asking you so many questions but always buys the same bouquet and you love Mr.Norris who buys flowers everyday to keep in his dead wife’s grave and you don’t mind even a little bit that he only remembers to pay you thrice in one week. You’ve never gotten flowers, but you’ve always wanted to. It’s the way you longingly stare at every bouquet. Which is a shame though, because who wouldn’t want to buy you flowers?”

He stops at smirks at her once more, and she stands there looking at him in complete and utter shock. She’s in awe, but also a little embarrassed, particularly at the last line. Although a part of her is a little warm and fuzzy that he thinks someone ought I have bought her flowers.


“I’m like The Mentalist.”

“But way better looking.”

She says this, and it takes her a minute to realize what she’s done. But she’s sees his eyes fall to hers, and a grin spread across his face, and she blushes like the red roses she hates.

“I’m glad you think so.”

He nods at her, and turns to leave. She stops him before he gets to the door, because all this reminds her of a question that remains unsolved, “Then why do you need to come to the shop everyday to sketch the flowers? Can’t you recall them from memory?”

“Oh, I can.”

She waits, hoping he’d elaborate because he hadn’t exactly answered her question yet.

He takes a minute. Turns away, and holds the door open, and she figures that’s all she’ll get on that, when he speaks up, “The flower isn’t the only beautiful thing worth looking at.”

And with that he leaves, leaving her behind to contemplate how the conversation she’d had with him had ended up being a million times better than the ones she’d been having in her head. She was flustered, and when the next customer came in, her last for the day, she had to give in a little extra to keep herself from getting dazed. He was a smooth talker, she thought, smart, funny, talented and he had a way with words. She’d love to get flowers from him.


April, walks in the next day, half an hour late, thanks to some early morning traffic, and she walks in apologizing profusely to Samantha, a gardener she’d hired.

“No problem. We only had one customer in. And the delivery wasn’t too hard considering how it was really really close by.” Samantha grinned wide, and pointed to the beautiful bouquet of sunflowers, perched on her counter.

“Then why are they still here?”

“Because they just got delivered to the customer.” She says, handing April the bouquet, and she takes a second, standing there, holding the flowers in her hands, and blinking. Once. Twice. Thrice.


“Enjoy.” She winks at her, and walks off towards the employee room.

April stands there confused, and instinctively looks out the window across the street, and faintly blushes when Jackson looks up at her at the same time and waves. She waves back and she can’t tell if she’s seeing it in her head, because of the distance, but she could swear he was wearing a smirk.

She sets the flowers down, running her fingers across the petals, before she notices a small card attached to it. She opens it up, a little afraid because this is the first time she’s getting flowers and she wants it to be special.

To April,

There’s a surprise inside the right hand side drawer. Enjoy!

- Jackson

She quickly puts the card down her heart racing and she gets a quick glance across the street to find Jackson staring intently back at her. She blushes once more, and turns her attention to the drawer, pulling out a piece of paper. She gasps as she realizes that he’s spent the last week sketching something other than the flowers. Her. It’s a lifelike drawing of her, behind the counter, smiling, surrounded by a bunch of flowers, tapes, ribbons and whatnot. She runs her hands over the grainy dried paint, and takes a moment to realize this is actually happening.

She turns the paper around and sees a sunflower in the back, tiny, beautiful, bright yellow. Next to it are the words, ‘You should get this’.

She stares at it for a minute, “Samantha, can you take care of the counter for a second, I’ll be right back.”

She walks right out, and into his store, all the while looking at him look at her, and happy that the confusion is now on his part.

She walks in, the place buzzing, literally. She feels a little out of place, in her yellow sundress, and bandanna wrapped hair, but she sees him walking towards her and it doesn’t feel so bad anymore.

“So?” He asks, but she knows he already knows why she’s here.

She holds up her wrist, points to the area of skin to the right side.


His smile return, wide boyish grin, and she finds herself melting again.

“You sure?”


He turns back to get his sketching paper, and she’s a little unsure of what to feel about how sure she is about this. He’s strange. Not him, per se. This pull. She doesn’t need to question it just yet.

“Oh there’s this special offer that we have. Free tattoo on one condition”

“What’s the condition?”

“You have to go on a date with me.” He shrugs, and leans back and waits for her reply.

She opens her mouth, closes it, and realizes she must look ridiculous.

“That’s a pretty good deal.”

“It is.”

She pretends to think for a while, “I’ll take it.”


Thank you for reading! :)

anonymous asked:

Cell 13 + Upa's reaction to see their s/o cry, only to learn they're crying over a sad commercial?

omg my first crackish ask! tyty also my first ask with Nico and Upa!

Jyugo: At first he would probably have no idea what to do except just hug them till the end of eternity, because he hates seeing his s/o sad. Probably a couple of kisses here and there and sweet nothings whispered into their ear. Once he learns that its just about a commercial, he’s like “Why are you crying? It isn’t real” but if his s/o ends up whaling about it, he’ll just keep on hugging him he loves them too much

Uno: When Uno finds his s/o sad, he goes into overprotective mom mode “WHO DID THIS TO YOU? DO YOU WANT A HUG???” and would hug you so tight you can’t breath. Once he learns it’s just a commercial, he’d probably ask to watch it and probably cry with you if it was really really sad. “THE DOG CAN’T JUST DIE LIKE THAT WHYYYY” 

Rock: He’s lowkey worried about anything having to do with his s/o, so he would pull you into a bear hug and ask you what was wrong, also offering up some comfort food. When you explain that it was a sad commercial, he’s the one that understands the most. “Hey! It’s fine! Everyone needs to cry sometimes!” and would probably suggest watching something a little happier.

Nico: Would try and distract you as much as possible from your sadness “Hey (name)-chan! Why don’t we play some video games?” and try to ask you what was wrong. He would give you lots of hugs and maybe a couple of kisses here and there. Once he learns it’s just a commercial, he would laugh about how his s/o is so caring and cute

Upa: Same with Uno, he goes into overprotective mom mode “Who did this?” but at the same time, doesn’t really know what to do, like Jyugo. He would probably sit you down, make some tea, and talk and cuddle. He really hates seeing them sad, and would encourage them to talk to him. Once he learns it’s just about a commercial, he gets kind of pissed “Why’d you have to worry me so much??” but at the same time, understands that his s/o needs him and tells them it’s okay to be sad over some of the more meaningless of things.

And that’s it from me nonnie! I hope you enjoy! Thank you for the ask!

mcrdeviantclub  asked:

A friend and I have actually been talking about Val a lot lately. I think it's kinda funny that Gerard said in an interview that the Vs took the wrong message from the Four and aren't meant to be heroes, and yet this fandom glorified them (especially Val) for a long time. Like you said, I feel like they represent what Gerard DOESN'T want the fandom to be. All the Vs saw was "omg badass killing blow the heads off dracs!!" and didn't understand that the Four were really fighting for.

Yessssss, exactly!

I think I go on a whole rant about bastardization of ideology in that masks essay (probably gonna post that one day) but now that I’m thinking about it, Val also does that thing where he specifically dyes his hair red like Party in this weird attempt to both emulate and destroy the legacy of the original Killjoys.

What Gerard might have been seeing was people using the imagery as this excuse for violence or acting superior or isolating themselves instead of coping with their inner demons or trying to fix things that were wrong.

Or just to sell things. There’s a lot of frustration towards commercialization and corporate power structure you can hear in Conventional Weapons. Also, because he started the band hoping to create change and do actual good in the world, that must have been immensely frustrating to have the “creative tools” he was using (ideology and imagery) trivialized and commercialized.

But again, this is speculation, because I (sadly) don’t know the guy personally.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the power of ideology and imagery in general recently. Religion is a good way to look at how things can go wrong sometimes, actually. Think about crusades and abuse scandals and hate crimes and even cults: some of these things are in direct conflict with the text or philosophy of the religion. But if the symbols and ides have power, they will attract people who want power, and who can (and probably eventually will) corrupt that.

I like looking for symbols of cultural power in non-religous contexts, because I don’t think we realize what they are often enough. And it’s even more important to recognize modern ideological symbols for what they are so we can think about and understand the culture we’re in. There are TONS of symbols in music or politics that are emerging, or old-school, or have been used in a commercial setting heavily.

Of course, the ones in fiction (like Danger Days) are more fun to analyze. Less scary. Also Gerard creates really fascinating symbolism. I like his brain a lot.

[Well… this is long and slightly tangential. Whoops.]

Your Kids' Bios (Calum)

Sienna Mae Louise Hood

As a baby/toddler:

Sienna was Calum’s little princess. She was his pride and joy. She was his life now that he was a father. He was really jealous when Luke and Michael had their little boys, but now he had a princess to spoil. He loved her to the moon and back. He cried when she was born and when he held her for the first time he promised her that he would never let anyone hurt and and that he would always be there for his little princess. (He also promised to take her shoe shopping whenever she wanted and to Disneyland once a year). You were both so happy to have a little person in you’re life. She was an excellent baby cooing and smiling at everyone, that was until they went home and she cried for half the night. She basically lived in Calum’s arms, she hated when he put her down. So he didn’t basically. She was a giggly baby who loved to show off in front of her uncles, dancing around in a Minnie Mouse dress.

As a child:

Sienna is so dainty, innocent and cute, Calum made sure that no one would be able to hurt her. She was a really well behaved girl, she liked reading, finger painting, tea parties, making friends but mostly ballet. She had been doing ballet since she was 3 years old, in a tutu, tiny ballet slippers and a little bun at the top of her head. She was really good at it and her teacher reckoned that one day she could be an amazing ballerina. Calum is always so proud seeing his daughter on stage, doing graceful little bunny hops and then much more complicated routines as she gets older. He buys her flowers ever time and she runs into his arms every time she gets off stage, smothering him with kisses. She believed everything her Dad told her, whether it was that she was the best dancer and the most prettiest girl in the world or that Santa wont leave her any presents if she pulls her baby brothers hair. She absolutely adored her dad. She was the boss of him though, you had to do it her way or no way at all. She was a bit of a diva, but that was mainly because of Calum’s constant doting and spoiling.

As a teenager:

Sienna grows up a lot at around age 12-13. She quits ballet for cheer-leading. She stops being cutesy and her school skirt becomes shorter each week. She stops listening to her dads ever word, and does the opposite to what he tells her. She gets a boyfriend. She doesn’t do her homework. She sneaks out to go drinking with Alex Clifford and Aria Hemmings. She definitely isn’t her daddy’s little girl anymore. She likes boys, horror films and 13-17 discos, the kind that every parent knows illegally sells overpriced alcohol but they think their child is too innocent and smart to even consider it. She no longer likes Disney movies, playing barbies with Mummy, tour bus cuddles with her uncles and she doesn’t want to spend quality time with her Dad. Ever. The little girl that used to cry everyday that he was on tour, now thinks hes embarrassing and screams “I hate you!” at him every time he tells her that she’s not aloud to do something. She is 5'8 tanned girl with long dark girls and a face that belonged on Maybelline commercials. She is what teenage boys would call “Sexy” and it made Calum worry about her, especially because she had more boyfriends that he had hit songs. They work it out eventually though and she agrees to hang out with him if he tries not to embarrass her in front of her friends.

** Nickname:** Si _(But she prefers her first name) & _Bug-A-Boo (Her Dad, since she was a baby)

Eye colour: Brown

Hair colour: Brown

Style: Girly, Hipster with a hint of stripper

Personality: Confident, bossy, likeable, some might call her a slut, but underneath it all she is a fragile, caring girl.

Likes: Fries, parties, cheer, boys, roller coasters, getting dressed up and milkshakes.

Dislikes: Staying in on a Friday night, idiots, science, sausages and when her dad’s fans call her “cute”.

Best Friends: Aria Hemmings, Maeve Horan, Anna Payne and Ryan Clifford.

Boyfriend: Alex Clifford, much to her Dad’s protests (but he was a sweet guy really).

Pets: Family dog called Molly and a Bunny called snowflake though she desperately wants a snake.


Ethan Thomas David Hood

As a baby:

Calum really loved his little princess, but he was so excited to have a little man in the house. He wanted to teach him to play soccer (Si despised it) and play Lego’s with him. He was so excited for him to be born and once again cried the first time he held him. You thought Sienna cried a lot, but Ethan cried almost twice as much, giving you a headache as soon as you arrived home. You went for a nap and left Calum alone for the first time with him. He left the baby alone for literally a second, when he heard his newborn cry and a little girl’s giggle. Sienna, your sweet little 5 year old, had kicked her newborn brother. Calum screamed at her, which made her cry so now he had two crying kids and that made him cry because he was already so stressed and tired and he loved his family so much and he just wanted them to get along. When you came down stairs Calum had Ethan sleeping on one side of his chest and Sienna half draped over the other, and they we all sleeping. After than your kids learned to get on with each other…well they kid of had a love/hate relationship. Ethan was a really hungry baby and he was so cute. The fans called him a miniature Calum, and that was exactly what he was.

As a toddler/child:

Ethan was such a poser from a very young age. You dressed him up in really cute outfits and he was happy to pose for anyone who wanted to take his picture, whether it was you or a fan. He was literally a selfie “queen” from age 4. He was certainly cute and Calum would proudly say “He gets if from me!” when people would comment on him. Calum had finally gotten all he wanted in a son. Ethan loved playing Legos and was happy to spend all day playing video games with his dad. Best of all he was a soccer prodigy. He loved the sport and was amazingly good at it. By age 10, he was tough for even Calum to beat. He was a funny little thing, joking about everything no matter how serious it was. He was very popular at school despite clinging onto your leg and crying on the first day. He played soccer with the little boys after school and even inviting some girls round for tea. Calum and Sienna teased him, saying that he had lots of little girlfriends. He was really embarrassed and said that he was never ever going to get a girlfriend ad that he wanted to marry you instead. Calum just laughed knowing that that wouldn’t last long eve though his son was barely 5.

As a teenager:

Ethan grew up as quickly as his sister did. As soon as he started secondary school, he wanted little to do with his parents - even though they still had to drive him everywhere and he had to be home before dark. He lost interest in school and video games and instead wanted to be out with his friends. He worried you so much the first time he stayed out past curfew, Calum assured you he would be fine, but started to put his foot down when it became a regular thing. He was determined not to let his son go wild, after completely loosing control of his daughter. Calum warned him many times but Ethan just responded by sneaking out, covering a nearby town with graffiti and even trying weed (but he completely regretted it). Calum was about to completely loose his head, but then he had angry complaints of a dad of Ethan’s ex girlfriends, claiming he had cheated on her. Calum looked into this and was completely outraged when he found out that your son was a player. Ashton’s son, was a bit wild to be honest, but wouldn’t hurt a fly unless they hurt his family. As expected, both of Luke Hemmings sons were the kindest, sweetest most caring young guys he knew. Even Michael Fucking Clifford’s sons were both complete gentlemen when it came to girls (and he would know that because one of them was dating his daughter) but his son - was an asshole. Calum couldn’t believe it. He grounded your son for literally 2 months, and suck to it. Ethan was so angry, but he channeled all his aggression into soccer and by the end of it all, he was still a hard partier, but at least he knew how to respect people. And his soccer career really seemed to be looking up.

Nickname: Ethe (Family) & Lil Dude (Calum, even though he’s taller than him since age 15)

Eye colour: Brown

Hair colour: Brown

**Style: ** Jock

Personality traits: Confident, funny, asshole, smart, honest (after learing that his dad will always find out the truth)

Likes: Soccer, apples, video games, girls, parties and the beach

Dislikes: Horror Movies, lemons, girls who turn him down and his dad (sometimes)

Best Friends: Harry Irwin, Kade Malik, Lilia Clifford and Noah Horan

Boyfriend: Kaylee Payne (after breaking up with her at age 13 and again at 16, when she gives him another change he respects her)

Pets: Family dog called Molly


Ashton’s KidsMichael’s Kids Luke’s Kids - Coming Soon

Pig (Combo Post)

You and Dylan were living together as you both worked on the Teen Wolf set.

You were more behind the scenes while Dylan was obviously in front of the camera. During the previous season, the first time you worked there, the two of you had become friends. When he said that he was looking for a place to stay, you offered the extra room in your apartment.

You warned him beforehand that it was probably more girly than he was used to when he lived with the guys, but it was also going to be cleaner. He had agreed to stay at your place, helping out with rent and groceries.

So for a few months while Teen Wolf was shooting, you had a roommate.

And it was time for both of you to get to work.

“Dylan!” you call again.

Dylan comes in, rubbing his eyes. He has crazy bed head and is lacking a shirt.

“Couldn’t have put a shirt on?“

He grunts in response, obviously not in the mood for your jokes yet.

"Well sleeping beauty, I made eggs and coffee. Want some?”

“Yeah,” he says, laying his head down on the counter.

“You getting a shower before we go?”

He just shakes his head, head still down.

“Alright, whatever.”

You put a place full of eggs and bacon in front of him, along with a smoking cup of coffee.

“Dude, if you don’t get your ass moving you’re going to make both of us late. What’s your deal? I thought you were in bed before me?”

“Britt called me late last night,” he states groggily.

“Oh?” you raise your eyebrows.

“No don’t ‘oh’ me, it’s nothing bad.”


“She just does not understand the concept of a thing called time difference.”

You laugh, “So how’s good ol’ Brittany doing?”

He smiles, “She’s good. She’s excited to visit. You’re still sure you’re okay with her staying over here?”

“Yes for the millionth time. I don’t care if she stays her.”

By now, Dylan has dove into his breakfast.

“How was your date last night by the way?”

“Ugh. Never let me allow Tyler to set me up again.”

“That bad?” Dylan chuckles.

“The dude ended up being this super arrogant, close-minded pig.”

“Oh no! The horror!” Dylan mocks.

You roll your eyes, “Shut up. It’s not funny. Why would Tyler even set me up with someone like that?”

“The pig part. Definitely the pig part. He saw how pig like you are. Thought you two hogs would hit it off.”

“I hate you,” you say, shaking your head.

“Nah you love me.”

“Ha. You wish.”

“I have a girlfriend. I already have someone who loves me. I don’t need your love.”

“You are the biggest liar ever. You’d be lost without me. ‘Brittany isn’t calling me back! What did I do?’ 'How do I iron this shirt?’ 'Can you make me breakfast?’ 'Can you make sure I get up on time?’ 'How does this look?’ 'What should I get Britt for our anniversary?’” you mock.

He puts his hands in the air, surrendering. “Okay, you got me.”

“Hell yeah I got you. Speaking of which, go get dressed man. We gotta leave in 5.”

“Shit!” Dylan says, jumping out of the chair and running to his room.

“Sometimes I’m more your mom than your friend,” you yell after him.

“Go best friend that’s my best friend that’s my best friend!” You and Dylan scream at each other before bursting into laughter as both of you attempt to twerk.

“Oh my god Dylan, what is that?” you cackle.

“I’m twerkin’ bitch!” he yells.

“That ain’t twerkin’!” you yell back.

It was a Friday, after work. You and Dylan had gotten a little…rowdy.

To say it honestly, it was the first chance the two of you could get sloppy drunk together at the apartment since Britt left.

You loved having her at your place, it was nice to have another girl around and someone else to pick on Dylan with. Teasing Dylan was one of your favorite hobbies.

But she had to leave and you and Dylan had a ritual. If you broke up with a boy or whenever Dylan and Britt had to leave each other, the two of you would drown your sadness in liquor the first chance neither of you had to do something the next day.

Today was finally that day.

So you cranked up the stereo and got out the bottles. There was dancing, loud singing-essentially yelling, and lots and lots of drinking.

It was fun. It was carefree and fun.

“Oh my god, change the song!” you yell over the music as you pour two more shots.

Dylan sways over to go change the song, accidentally playing some sad, slow song.

“What the hell?” you hear him say. “Get the fuck outta here,” he says to the speakers.

You chuckle to yourself, the fact that he’s literally talking to an object is too funny.

He changes the song, again, and comes waltzing into the kitchen where you are.

“Yaaass,” he says in his best white-girl voice, “Shotssss.”

You smile, “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” he echoes, meeting your shot glass.

The rest of the evening consists of more drinking, dancing, laughing, and carrying on.

And eventually you both pass out.

“Oh why do we do this to ourselves?” you moan, unmoving from the seat you’ve woken up from.

All you hear is a grunt from Dylan on the couch.

You consider getting up but decide that sleeping some more is the better option.

After an undetermined amount of time, you wake up again, this time to the smell of eggs and bacon.

“What are you doing?” you murmur, shoving your face into the cushion.

“I’m being mom this time.”


“Because I apparently drank more water between shots and am in far better working condition than you.”


“So, I made some eggs and bacon.”

“I don’t wanna eat,” you whine.

“Alright, then will you drink some water for me?”

“Drink your own damn water.”

He chuckles, “Y/N, you know that’s not what I mean-”

“I don’t care.”

“Y/N, please drink some water.”

You only moan some more.

“Dylan,” you while again.

“Y/N, I’m only trying to help you. Here, let me get you some water. And then you’re going to do what I say and drink it.”

“Why are you so mean and bossy?” you ask as he gets up and moves into the kitchen.

“Why are you still drunk?” he teases.

“I’m not still drunk. How could I still be drunk? It’s morning.”

“Actually it’s afternoon and I think you’re still drunk. Now drink this,” he says, coming back into the room and handing you a water.

You begrudgingly do as he says, hating him a little for making you move.

“Good. Now, do you want to eat something?”

“No, I just want to sleep.”  


“I can’t move.”

He laughs, “Yes you can.”

“Can you carry me?”

“Are you serious?” he asks, bewildered.

“Yes, I can’t do it.”

“Alright fine, jeez you’re such a princess.”

You wrap your arms around his neck as he picks you up into his arms. He carries you into your room, tucking you into bed.

“Why are you so mean to me?”

“Mean to you? I just carried you into your room.”

“You call me names.”


“Yeah, you called me a pig and a princess, and last night you called me a bitch. Why don’t you like me?”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true. You know I love you, you’re my best friend.”

“Well you’re my best friend but I don’t say mean things to you.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“Mkay, I forgive you,” you say, already slipping back to sleep.

“I need a man,” you announce, throwing your phone to the side.

“Yes you do,” Dylan agrees. He doesn’t even bother to turn away from the game on TV. He just takes another sip of beer.

“Shut up,” you say as you playfully smack him.

“Hey! Watch it! I have a drink in my hand. Besides, I’m right. You need to get laid or something. Find a…a hobby,” he adds with a wink.

“Oh my god, you did not.”

He smirks, “Yes. I believe I did.”

“I hate you,” you laugh.


“No, pretty sure I hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Did you order that pizza yet?”

You roll your eyes, “Yes, I ordered the pizza.”

“Awesome. How soon will it be here?”

“Like 15.”

The game cuts to a commercial and Dylan turns towards you.

“Okay, now listen up. You don’t need a guy. I don’t know why the fuck you think you do, but you don’t. Guys are dumb and stupid, and they just distract you and get you all bothered. You don’t need a guy,” he says seriously.

“Interesting considering you’re a guy.”

“I’m your friend. And trust me when I say you don’t need a guy.”

“Thanks Dylan,” you blush.

“Alright, now grab my wallet and pay for the pizza.”

You smile, hopping up from the couch. You find Dylan’s wallet and open it to get the money, only a condom falls out.

“Dylan are you serious?” you ask, holding it up for him to see.

He shifts in his seat to see you, and color immediately rushes to his cheeks.


“Now Dylan, I’m glad that you are being safe and using protection, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons,” you mock in your best suburban-mom-gives-the-birds-and-the-bees impression.

“Oh my god, shut up,” Dylan chuckles, rolling his eyes.

Now you’re the one smirking. “I just want to make sure you don’t do anything you’ll regret later,” you continue the impression.

“Why do you love pretending to be my mom so much? Hm?”

“Dylan, didn’t you know? I am your mom!” you reply sarcastically.

“Okay, now I hate you.”

“Good,” you smile.

“Hey hun-” Dylan yells from his room.

“Hun? You are you callin’ hun?” you smirk.

“Oh my god,” you hear him say to himself. Then you hear him walking to find you. And what you find on his face is a look of sheer horror.

“Okay, okay. I totally did not mean to call you that. Like it just slipped. I didn’t mean to, I don’t know why. I was thinking about Britt, and I would call her hun, and then I called for you and…and…”

“Dyl calm down,” you laugh, “I get it. It happens. Don’t worry.”

“I’m really sorry, I really didn’t mean to-” he continues.

“Dylan,” you scold, “knock it off. I’m serious. It’s not a big deal.”

He takes a deep breath, trying to settle his guilt.

“Now, what were you going to ask me?”

“Um… I was going to ask you about our plans for this thing… Like, what am I? Your escort? Or your chaperone? Ohh! Or your wingman? Okay, but seriously, why do you need, or even want, me to go to this thing?”

“Dylan, Dylan, Dylan,” you shake your head, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You simply do not understand. See, as a best friend, it is your duty to go with me to events like this to protect me. So basically, you’re all three of those things for me tonight. I need a date. I need someone to make sure that if some creep tries something on me you get me out safely. Or if there’s someone I don’t like, you get me the hell away from them. And, you know, I mean, you’re always my wing man.”

“Oh great,” he rolls his eyes, “I never signed up to be your best friend. Therefore, these rules should not apply.”

“Oh shut up. You know I’d do it for you. Wait, I have done it for you. So ha. Now go fix that tie, I don’t need to look like I associate with pigs like you.”

“I thought you were the pig?” he asks while walking to a mirror.

“I think we both very well know who the real pig is. The title belongs to you. You leave the toilet seat up, you leave crumbs everywhere when you eat, and honestly when was the last time you did your laundry? Or truly saw your floor?”

“Okay, okay, no need to point fingers here. Didn’t you say we’re all friends?”

“Yeah only if you sign the agreement.”

“Oh we have friendship contracts now?” he mocks.

“I mean, sometimes it’s just needed. I can’t have you calling me honey all the time now can I?”

“I told you it was an accident!”

You give a big, goofy, devious smile.

“I know,” you add with a wink.

“Dylan are you and Y/N dating?”

“Dylan what happened to Britt?”

“Have you and Britt broken up?”

“Dylan what does this mean for relationship status?”

That’s what all the paparazzi and reporters and fans were yelling at you (and more) as you stepped from the car to the few feet to the entrance of the shin-dig that you got Dylan to go along as your date.

You didn’t think about how it would look to everyone else, how everyone would automatically be drawn to Dylan, or how shitty the whole ordeal would make you feel.

And that was only you trying to walking in.

Dylan kept his head down and his hand on your back, helping guide you inside.

“I-I don’t know what to say,” Dylan says as soon as you’ve entered and the doors close.

You’re stunned, at a loss for words-something very unusual for you. Luckily, the two of you are quickly shuffled to a new location to where your special event is taking place.

Your event.

The rest of the night was fairly uneventful. You couldn’t shake that oddly depressing feeling from when you and Dylan entered. People were nice towards you, a few guys flirted but nothing major. A lot of people were intrigued by Dylan, several girls flirted with him.

You were surprised by how jealous you were of the attention Dylan was getting. You were mad at yourself for being jealous. Dylan was your best friend after all. You should have been happy of his success, of his accomplishments, and the people he’s gained supporting him.

And of course you were, all the time. But it was disappointing that this was supposed to be about you, about your newest movie that was coming out.

Sure, you weren’t the main star or anything, but you wanted this to be about you. Or at least more about you.

You just didn’t think about all the attention that would be given over Dylan. Which also made you feel guilty. He’s your best friend.

When it was all over, you and Dylan struggled to get into the car, everyone in your face hoping to draw something from one of you.

You didn’t say anything during the car ride home and went straight to your room to change out of your clothes into something more comfortable. You ran into him in the kitchen when you were trying to grab a beer and mumbled, “Thanks for going with me.”

“Hey, Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything, I hope you had a good time,” you feign.

“I hope you did too,” he says sadly.

You and Dylan have been on rocky, awkward terms to say it at best. He was still living with you, but the conversations have been forced and uncomfortable.

Really, the two of you were just avoiding each other. It had been working out for you guys at work. Neither had to be on set at the same time.

This evening was no different, except for the fact that Tyler had invited everyone on set to go to karaoke and wings night at a local bar.

You had indulged with Tyler’s want to get tipsy. And then drunk.

And then plastered.

Holland, being the mom of the group as always, was trying to take responsibility of you in your disoriented self.

“Sweetie, please drink some water. Like a lot of water.”

“Nah, nah, nah. I don’t need water. I need another shot!” you yelled.

“Y/N, I really think you need some water, and maybe your bed.”

“Oooh, my bed! I love my bed, I’d love to go to bed…No, just kidding, I wanna stay out with you guys!”

“I’m going to call Dylan and have him pick you up.”

You rolled your eyes dramatically, “Psht. I don’t need Dylan-”

“Y/N,” she looked at you skeptically.

“Holland,” you mimic.

She ignores you and calls Dylan. Dylan, for reasons you cannot fathom, picks you up.

He did more than just pick you up actually.

He drove to the bar, somehow convinced you to leave the bar (which was quite a task), half dragged you out, got you into his car, got you home, picked your passed out ass out of the passenger seat and into your room.

You woke up the next morning, unable to remember what happened. Instead, there was a glass of water and a note: Y/N, text me when you’re up I’ll make breakfast. -Dyl

You texted Dylan as you were told, and he sweetly brought you pancakes shortly after.

“Hey, how’s the hangover?” he asked.

“Well it’s a hangover, so…”

“Yeah, that’s why I thought pancakes would be best.”

“Good call,” you lightheartedly joke.

“Alright well…” he mutters as he gets ready to leave your room.

“Wait Dylan-” you say before you stop yourself.


“Um…what happened last night?”

“I think Tyler convinced you to keep up with him, and he’s a tank so you were screwed over from the get-go. Holland had been drinking too so she called me and I picked you up.”


“And what?”

“What embarrassing or hurtful thing did I say to you?” you regrettably question.

“Nothing,” he answers uncertainty.

Advil and Popcorn (Requested)

You are heading over to Dylan’s apartment with a bag of clothes ready and some movies in your hand. It was tradition for you two to stay up late watching movies the first day he came back from filming something for work. When things got serious, you added the whole spend the night part. It just made things more convenient. And let’s be honest, neither of you wanted to leave each other. This time, however, things were different. You have an… “extra friend” tagging along. Your period wasn’t supposed to come for another two days, and this would be the first time you and Dylan did your movie night while you were on it.

You could smell the popcorn and butter as soon as you stepped onto Dylan’s apartment floor. You are so excited to see him open the door that you jump onto him and give him a kiss before he can even welcome you in. You hadn’t seen each other in the longest time. He kisses you back passionately as he grabs your face in one hand and your neck in the other. He looks different, you think to yourself. Different in a good way. You thought this every time you saw him after a long time apart, so maybe it was nothing. Either way, you are happy to be in his arms again.

“Well I guess my girlfriend is happy to see me!” Dylan says.

“Eh. I came here for the popcorn. You’re just an added bonus.” You respond.
“ I made your favorite. Burritos with sour cream and lots of cheese. I know they’ll taste nothing like that restaurants from the food court we went to a while ago, but I wanted to make tonight special.”
“Dylan, wow… You didn’t have to do that. That must have taken you forever to make. I want to try some, but I can’t have too much. We can split one I’ll have some popcorn though.”
“Why can’t you have a whole one? Don’t tell me you’re on one of those crazy diets where you only eat lemons or something.” You aren’t on a diet, but you don’t want to mess up your stomach. It was extra sensitive during this time, and you were already having bad cramps. You don’t want to make Dylan feel uncomfortable in his own house if he knows you’re on your period, but you really need something to take this pain away.

“I’m not on a diet… Do you have Advil?” You asks shyly. You hated looking weak and vulnerable.

“I think so. I’ll check. Why do you need Advil? What’s going on?” Dylan’s forehead becomes creased and his eyes do that thing they do when he feels really bad for someone or sees one of those abused animal commercials on tv. You want to say you have a headache, but you cant lie to him.
“I’m on my period…” You say cautiously.
“That’s all? Y/N! I thought something serious was happening! You scared me! Why didn’t you just say that?”
“Something serious? Something serious IS happening, Dylan! Don’t take this lightly, you don’t know what it’s like to go through this every month!” You get defensive but then realize his comment probably wasn’t meant to be taken the way you thought it was. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable or weird. We’ve never talked about this before. And I feel gross and bloated and just off my game right now. But I really wanted to see you, so I couldn’t cancel our movie night.”

“You shouldn’t have had to even think about canceling. You know you can talk to me about anything, Y/N. And you’re right, I don’t know what it’s like. But I have a mom. And a sister. And I’ve had girlfriends in the past, you know.” His last comment bothers you. You wish you didn’t know. The thought of Dylan being someone else’s at one point made you envious. But you push it to the side and kiss Dylan softly.

“What’s that for?” He looks down at you and asks. You put your head against his chest and wrap your arms around his back.
“I’m just lucky to have you, that’s all.” Dylan kisses the top of your head and everything feels right again.

anonymous asked:

Any tips on how to keep a dog cool in the summer? My dog isn't handling the hot weather as well as I thought he would. He's a 7 and 1/2 year old 14 lb (I know it's a little on the heavier side we are working on it) miniature pinscher, and he HATES water so swimming and stuff like that isn't really an option.

Oh yes! There are lots of ways. Here are some good ones:

  • Wet their ears and paws. The water evaporates and cools them, there is a lot of blood flow through the ears especially so this helps.
  • Keep your dog well hydrated by bringing/providing fresh water at all times!
  • Frozen treats like watermelon (in moderation) or commercial dog frozen yogurts are a bit relieving, but not the most effective at actually cooling them down. Do not!! Give them ice cream.
  • Provide them with a cool place to lie. A slab of marble or cold metal can work, and your dog is small enough you could get a piece small enough for you to fit in your freezer. They make small granite slabs for chinchillas that might work for you! Alternatively, you could use ceramic tile, which is also cheap. Just throw it in the freezer to cool, then lay some outside.
  • This one is a bit obvious but keep them indoors! Especially if you have AC. And only take them out for walks in the morning or evening, when it is still cool.
  • Keep them well groomed. This does not mean shave them! Some breeds of dog need regular shaving, others should not be shaved ever. Your minpin does not need to be shaved but she does need to be brushed to remove shed hairs. Even short coated dogs need regular brushing! Any extra shed hair can make a dogs natural coat less efficient at keeping them insulated.

That’s all I can think of really, for a dog that does not like to get wet.

anonymous asked:

I've just joined Naruto fandom several months ago, I dont know why is Sasusaku the most hated ship in Naruto fandom? I thought it must be the hottest couple in Naruto?! And in Japan, Naruhina is the most favorite pairing!? I'm afraid that Kishi will be pressured from the fans and the commercial stuff so he wont make Sasusaku happen, or if he does, chapter 699 is not as satisfying as we expected :( what do you think?

SS is the most popular pairing anywhere. However outside of Japan, mainly in the West, SS is hated tremendously. Sakura and Sasuke are the 2 most hated characters in Naruto. Guys in the West especially, see Sasuke as the cool, good looking guy who gets all of the girls’ attention, Sakura as the bitch who only goes for the cool guys and ignores the nice guy and Naruto as the nice guy who deserves the girl and is better than the stuck up pretty boy. 

Most of these guys are sexist and abusive themselves so I find the whole ‘I hate SS because it’s abusive thing’ very hypocritical or them. The only reason some of these misogynists even like Hinata is because she is down with Naruto. Even then they see her as some pussy for their boy Naruto to get. The way they view the females in general is disgusting. SS is no different. 

And no he isn’t giving into any pressure. Even if he was, SS is the most popular and NH is 2nd so he’d be giving into NH/SS lol! Idk about everyone else but I read for ME so I enjoy and I will continue to enjoy my SS moments to the fullest and I will be thoroughly and completely satisfied when it happens. 

Drink The Dreams Away

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam
Words: 1539
Requested by Anonymous
Summary: The reader has terrible nightmares and turns to drinking to help her forget them and sleep. Dean confronts her and is determined to help her.

Originally posted by sasquatchandleatherjacket

           You sat up, tears streaming down your face from the latest nightmare. They were getting more and more frequent. It was so hard to deal with them. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do anymore.

           You made your way to the kitchen and sat down at the table. You had grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and popped it open. You needed to relax, but you didn’t know if that was even possible.

           You took a drink of the beer and sighed. You always dreamed about whatever hunt had been the latest. It always came back to you worse than what it had really been. And they kept getting more terrifying as the nights went on.

           “Y/N?” Dean walked into the room.

           “Hey,” you looked up at him.

           “You okay?” he asked, “You don’t normally get up in the middle of the night to drink,” he said, motioning to the bottle between your hands.

           “Just had a bad dream. Needed something to calm my nerves,” you told him, “I’ll be fine.”

           “You sure?”

           You nodded, “Yeah.”

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Merry Christmas, fartherthantherabbithole!

Derek doesn’t like Christmas. He used to, back when he was a kid and everything was bright and cheery and wholly his.

Then he grew up, and the idea of sharing his birthday with an over-commercialized holiday lost it’s shine.

Maybe that makes him a Scrooge.

But it makes him look like a good guy, when it comes to work. Always willing to fill a shift on Christmas, no questions asked.

That’s why he’s in the building that night, just having left an apartment after warning a group of drunk college students to quiet down after a noise complaint.

Keep reading