i knew i was pale but christ

I stared at him without speaking for a moment.

As though he felt the need of air, or perhaps only for something to do, he fumbled with the latch of the shutters and thrust them halfway open, flooding the room with the sound of rushing water, and the cold, fresh smell of rain. 

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want me to stay?” I said, finally. “Because if so … I mean, I know you’ll have a life now … maybe you have … other ties …” With unnaturally acute senses, I could hear the small sounds of activity throughout the house below, even above the rush of the storm, and the pounding of my own heart. My palms were damp, and I wiped them surreptitiously against my skirt. 

He turned from the window to stare at me. 

“Christ!” he said. “Not want ye?” His face was pale now, and his eyes unnaturally bright. 

“I have burned for you for twenty years, Sassenach,” he said softly. “Do ye not know that? Jesus!” The breeze stirred the loose wisps of hair around his face, and he brushed them back impatiently. 

“But I’m no the man ye knew, twenty years past, am I?” He turned away, with a gesture of frustration. “We know each other now less than we did when we wed.” 

“Do you want me to go?” The blood was pounding thickly in my ears. “No!” He swung quickly toward me, and gripped my shoulder tightly, making me pull back involuntarily. 

“No,” he said, more quietly. “I dinna want ye to go. I told ye so, and I meant it. But … I must know.” He bent his head toward me, his face alive with troubled question. 

“Do ye want me?” he whispered. “Sassenach, will ye take me—and risk the man that I am, for the sake of the man ye knew?” 

I felt a great wave of relief, mingled with fear. It ran from his hand on my shoulder to the tips of my toes, weakening my joints. 

“It’s a lot too late to ask that,” I said, and reached to touch his cheek, where the rough beard was starting to show. It was soft under my fingers, like stiff plush. “Because I’ve already risked everything I had. But whoever you are now, Jamie Fraser—yes. Yes, I do want you.” 

The light of the candle flame glowed blue in his eyes, as he held out his hands to me, and I stepped wordless into his embrace. I rested my face against his chest, marveling at the feel of him in my arms; so big, so solid and warm. Real, after the years of longing for a ghost I could not touch. 

Disentangling himself after a moment, he looked down at me, and touched my cheek, very gently. He smiled slightly. 

“You’ve the devil’s own courage, aye? But then, ye always did.” 

I tried to smile at him, but my lips trembled. 

“What about you? How do you know what I’m like? You don’t know what I’ve been doing for the last twenty years, either. I might be a horrible person, for all you know!” 

The smile on his lips moved into his eyes, lighting them with humor. “I suppose ye might, at that. But, d’ye know, Sassenach—I dinna think I care?” 

I stood looking at him for another minute, then heaved a deep sigh that popped a few more stitches in my gown. 

“Neither do I.” 

It seemed absurd to be shy with him, but shy I was. The adventures of the evening, and his words to me, had opened up the chasm of reality—those twenty unshared years that gaped between us, and the unknown future that lay beyond. Now we had come to the place where we would begin to know each other again, and discover whether we were in fact the same two who had once existed as one flesh—and whether we might be one again.

Halloween Starters!

Zombies

“How did the world end up like this?”
“I was bitten…”
“You were bitten, weren’t you?”
“Show me!”
“You’d be glad to see me gone, wouldn’t you?”
“I will not turn into one of those things!”
“There must be some kind of cure!”
“You can’t just give up!”
“You aren’t acting like yourself today…”
“Shoot me, please!”
“We’re all infected?!”
“Those assholes stole our supplies!”
“Let’s just wait it out and looe our minds together.”
“______, your arm…”
“Is anyone else alive?”
“Do you thin there is still a person in there?”

Werewolves

“Just a single silver bullet, and you’re dead.”
“You’ve been acting really… agressive, lately.”
“You’re gotten… hairy.”
“You’re acting like an animal!”
“Look, it’s a full moon.
”*Howling*“
*transforms into a werewolf before you. It is clearly painful.*
"Woah… you’re eyes…”
“I know you’re here! I can smell it!”
“Your hair grew back!”
“Be rational, sure…I’m a fucking werewolf for Christs Sake”
“Beware the moon.”
“Whoever is bitten by a werewolf, and lives, becomes a werewolf himself.”
“A werewolf can only be killed by a silver bullet, or a silver knife… or a stick with a silver handle.”
“Jesus, what big teeth you have!”
“I never knew a wolf could cry.”

Vampires

“I’ve been so… thirsty…”
“You’re teeth… they’re so sharp.”
“Jesus, you’re so pale.”
“I’ve lived since before your ancestors were born.”
“They had forgotten the first lesson, that we are to be powerful, beautifu, and without regret.”
“Where is your reflection?”
“What happened to my reflection?”
“I-I can’t come in unless you invite me.”
“Ugh, I hate garlic.”
“What happened? You used to love garlic!”
“I love the night. It’s the only time I feel really alive.”
“Bring a vampire around, people start discovering religion.”
“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.”
“I’m going out to get a bite to drink.”

Ghosts

“But… but I died.”
“What am I still doing here?”
“I’m so cold.”
“Just let me pass on!”
“I missed you so much.”
“No, you relax, you’re the dead guy!
"Why don’t you go haunt a house? Rattle some chains or something.”
“Now are you going to go away, ___?‘Cause you know what, I got work to do.”
“You can call them ghosts, if you’d like, or as I like to call them, 'the living-impaired.’”
“No such thing as ghosts?”
“I can’t even eat anything now!”
“Can’t anyone see me?”
“You can see me?”
“You can’t hear me?”
“Boo!”
“Thought I was gone, didn’t you?”


Non-Assosiated Ones

“What is that!”
“Monster!”
“I-I’m a monster…”
“Are you sick or something?”
“Is anyone safe?”
“I thought you were dead!”
“Are you alright after that person bit you last night?”
“You’ve been acting strange ever since that kid bit you yesterday.”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I thought they only existed in stories!”
“I thought I killed you already!”
“Why won’t you just die!”
“I thought they only did that in movies?!”
“Run!”
“No! I can’t shot you! I won’t!”
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“You’re in danger”

Seek, and You Shall Find: Chapter 3

I’ve been a little slow with my writing lately, but here’s chapter 3! 

*Note: The italics in quotes are meant to show the men speaking Gaelic. I didn’t want to translate incorrectly, and I wanted you guys to know what they were saying.*

Chapter 1    Chapter 2


They arrived at a crofters cottage an hour later. A dozen horses were hobbled in front; the other men were already there.

Jamie felt Claire stiffen, muscles contracting in fear. He placed a hand on her shoulder, caressing with his thumb. Calming her like a skittish horse.

“Do ye remember what I said? That I wouldna let any harm come to ye?” A sharp nod. “I dinna make promises lightly, Claire. Yer safe with me.”

As she dismounted Donas, Jamie noticed her limbs shaking with effort. She was much weaker than he first thought. He wondered when she last ate.

“Let me tie up Donas, and then we’ll go inside.” Another sharp nod, and she turned her back toward him.

For the first time since they met, Jamie saw Claire as a woman. The setting sun shone through her thin shift, clearly outlining the slim shadow underneath. A lovely nipped in waist flared out to an even lovelier round…

But, he shouldn’t be thinking of her this way. She was injured, frightened, and he was her protector. He turned his head, guilty.

“Mistress? Could ye come here for a moment?” She did, grass crunching beneath her bare feet. Jamie shrugged out of his coat, and handed it to her. “Here. Put this on.”

Claire cleared her throat, still swollen and raspy. “W…why?”

“I promise ye that men willna hurt ye. But I canna promise that they willna look.”

She looked down, as if she had just noticed her undress. And perhaps she had. Being in her state, Jamie thought clothing was probably the least of her worries.

She slipped into the coat, and it practically consumed her. The sleeves too long for her arms, the hem came to her knees. But it covered her, and the woolen garment would keep her warm.

“Are ye ready, Mistress?”

***

Jamie led Claire into the cottage, keeping her behind him. He wasn’t worried; he knew the men wouldn’t hurt her. It was mainly for her, to give her peace of mind.

Jamie!” He recognized Rupert’s boisterous voice in the dim lighting. “We were worried the English got ye! Thank God! We dinna ken…” He paused, seeing Jamie’s shadow.

Every man glanced their way simultaneously, it seemed. It would have been comical in any other situation. As it were…

What have ye got there, lad?” His uncle, Dougal, came forth into the firelight. His eyes were pale and calculating, the lewd possibilities of Jamie’s meeting with this half-dressed woman flashed behind them.

“This is Claire. I found her.”

“Ye found her?”

“Aye. Randall had her. Tied up and beaten.”

“Randall! Christ, and what did he say when he saw you?” Jamie knew what Dougal was insinuating. That he was reckless, stupid. That Randall knew he was alive now, and would hunt him to the edge of the world. And all for what? A girl?

“Nothing. I ran him through.” A short ‘whoop’ came from the dark corner Rupert faded into.

“Ye killed Randall?” This was Murtagh, his usual monotone voice sparking with interest.

“Aye, I did.”

Murmurs waves across the room, all favorable. But, Dougal wasn’t having any of it. “Now we’ll have the whole British army after you! After us!”

“No one saw, Uncle.

“And how do ye ken this woman wasn’t…wasn’t planted there to tug at yer tender heart? Ye know nothing about her!”

“Are her bruises deception as well? Or has she-”

“We canna trust her! She’s could be a spy! Did ye ever think about that, ye idiot?!”

“I dinna-”

“Excuse me.” The raspy voice broke through, distracting with its staccato Gaelic. “I mean no harm. You can trust me.”  

The men were taken aback by this small English woman, speaking to them in their own language. No secrets, then.

“Claire.” Jamie leaned backward, speaking to her in an aside. “I didna ken ye spoke Gaelic.”

“I…I’ve lived in Scotland most of my l…life,” she explained. Turning to the men: “Please. I j…just want a safe place to stay.”

Dougal’s eyes narrowed, wariness apparent. He wouldn’t believe this strange woman so easily. Jamie knew that from the start. But, he didn’t put too much weight in what his uncle thought. “Fine. She’ll come with us, and we’ll puzzle it out later.” He leaned in, inches from Claire’s face. “But, I dinna trust ye. One wrong move, and my dagger might just slip…”

She raised her eyebrows, daring him. But, Jamie saw the slight tremble of her hands.

***

They all agreed to stay in the cottage until nightfall. Until then, the men seemed happy enough to munch on stale bannocks and warm whiskey.

Claire had wedged herself in between Jamie and Murtagh on the splintered floorboards. She took quick nibbles of her bannock, much like an overly large squirrel.

“D’ye want mine?” Jamie reached over to hand his own dry bread to her, but she pushed it away. “Come, Mistress. Ye need it more than I do.”

She looked down, her bannock mostly eaten. Sighing, she relented. “H…half. You need some t…too.”

“Fine. Half.” He broke it in two, making sure to give her the larger portion.The three of them listened quietly to the other men, regaling the tales of the redcoats they bested.

Thud.

“Christ!” Angus, though small in stature, had fallen to the ground loudly, holding his leg. Most men started at the sound, and began crowding him in curiosity. 

Rupert stepped over to him. “What happened?”

“Damn English shite knocked me off my horse earlier. I didna think much about it then.”

“Did ye at least get him back?” Rupert asked, eyes twinkling.

A toothless grin spread across Angus’ face. “Aye.” He gasped again, his grip on his leg tightening.

Jamie glanced to his left, opening his mouth to speak to Claire. But, she wasn’t there.

She had crept over to the commotion in the middle of the cottage. Kneeling in front of Angus, she spoke soothingly. “Let m…me see.”

Angus, surprisingly, was speechless. He did not argue. Instead, he held out his injured leg to her.

She grasped it, feeling around. “It’s n…not broken. Your knee is out of p…place. If someone steadies him, I c…can fix it.” When there was no response, she looked around at the men. “Now.” Rupert, ever the friend, grabbed Angus by the torso, holding him.

“This w…will hurt.” A twist and a push, and with a pop, Angus’ leg was back in place.

Dougal caught Jamie’s eye, giving him a self-satisfied smirk.  I told you so, it said.

And he was right. There was more to this woman than Jamie first thought.

A Thief’s Creed

Request: “Can you please write an imagine for Credence based off of the song Take Me To Church by Hozier?”

Paring: Credence Barebone x Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Angst n implied smut

My lover’s got humour

She’s the giggle at a funeral

Knows everybody’s disapproval

I should’ve worshipped her sooner

A petty thief and a devoted child of God. On Sundays, while Mary-Lou was busy preparing for the early morning service, he’d find you sitting above on the fire escape, just a street away. You swung your leg, taking a bite of your apple while staring him down. Your eyes pierced him so intensely that at times he felt compelled to check if he was still whole; that the dark shadows he sometimes billowed into were not making him transparent in that moment. You gave a quick glance at the church and then a wry smile, followed by the clattering sound of the red ladder descending after it was given a sharp kick.

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The Adoption

Part Six

Justin Withers looked like Albert Finney, the guy who played Daddy Warbucks in the movie version of Annie.  He was intimidating in that respect as well.  I suddenly felt like I was sitting in the boss’s office after getting caught taking too many sick days.

He didn’t say anything for the first few minutes we were in the room after introducing himself. He was reading.  I hoped he was reading our file but I wasn’t sure.  Emily nervously fidgeted in the chair next to me.  I reached over and threaded my fingers through hers, giving her a look of reassurance.  I knew how she felt, I was on edge as well.

I jumped slightly when Justin sighed.  He looked up at me, his brown eyes piercing into mine.  I held my breath when he opened his mouth to speak,

“I’ve been doing this a long time.  I’ve run into a lot of situations that were…”  He smirked, “Not ideal.  One of the parents has a record.  Someone had a drug problem.”  He folded his hands over the manila folder on his desk, “But that all pales in comparison to two people in a committed relationship but not married when it comes to adoption.”

Emily’s eyes dropped and I knew she was holding back tears.  I wanted to protest.  Protest?  Shit.  I wanted to stand up, stomp my feet, fold my arms over my chest and whine until someone agreed that this was unfair.  Emily and I weren’t legally married but we were in every other sense.  We were committed to each other.  We already had two kids.  And Jesus Christ it was 2017 not 1955. 

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“Aye, I see.

And then ye came. But still…why?”I stared at him without speaking for a moment. As though he felt the need of air, or perhaps only for something to do, he fumbled with the latch of the shutters and thrust them halfway open, flooding the room with the sound of rushing water, and the cold, fresh smell of rain.

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want me to stay?” I said, finally. “Because if so…I mean, I know you’ll have a life now…maybe you have…other ties…” With unnaturally acute senses, I could hear the small sounds of activity throughout the house below, even above the rush of the storm, and the pounding of my own heart. My palms were damp, and I wiped them surreptitiously against my skirt.

He turned from the window to stare at me.“Christ!” he said. “Not want ye?” His face was pale now, and his eyes unnaturally bright. “I have burned for you for twenty years, Sassenach,” he said softly. “Do ye not know that? Jesus!” The breeze stirred the loose wisps of hair around his face, and he brushed them back impatiently. “But I’m no the man ye knew, twenty years past, am I?” He turned away, with a gesture of frustration. “We know each other now less than we did when we wed.”

Originally posted by outlassed

Originally posted by sassenach4life

“Do you want me to go?” The blood was pounding thickly in my ears.
“No!” He swung quickly toward me, and gripped my shoulder tightly, making me pull back involuntarily. “No,” he said, more quietly. “I dinna want ye to go. I told ye so, and I meant it. But…I must know.” He bent his head toward me, his face alive with troubled question.

“Do ye want me?” he whispered. “Sassenach, will ye take me—and risk the man that I am, for the sake of the man ye knew?”I felt a great wave of relief, mingled with fear. It ran from his hand on my shoulder to the tips of my toes, weakening my joints.

“It’s a lot too late to ask that,” I said, and reached to touch his cheek, where the rough beard was starting to show. It was soft under my fingers, like stiff plush. “Because I’ve already risked everything I had. But whoever you are now, Jamie Fraser—yes. Yes, I do want you.”

The light of the candle flame glowed blue in his eyes, as he held out his hands to me, and I stepped wordless into his embrace. I rested my face against his chest, marveling at the feel of him in my arms; so big, so solid and warm. Real, after the years of longing for a ghost I could not touch.

Creepypasta #813: There Is A Drug Called PH4 In Circulation. Please Don’t Take It.

Length: Super long

When I was in college in 2010, I was pretty heavily involved with some serious drug trading. I had always kind of been a party animal, and usually if I wasn’t high off of one thing I was drunk off another. Drugs and alcohol consumed most of my life, so I figured that I’d make some money off of that bad habit of mine, and got into the business.

It’s sure as hell not easy or safe money, I’ll tell you that, but it was the best money a college kid with several criminal charges was going to get. I sold all sorts of shit; weed, crack, heroin, ecstasy, you name it. Nothing was off the table for me, and if there was a name for it I probably had it. I’m not proud of it, but a guy’s gotta make money, you know? And it saved me money being able to supply my own addictions.

It was easily one of the darkest times of my life. I’d lost most of my real friends I’d had since elementary school, and I was rolling with the worst crowd you could imagine. Fellow dealers, mostly, and I hung out with some of the people I dealt to as well. I was in and out of jail and rehab, and my parents had cut me off since I was using their money to fund my habits. I was failing most of my classes and about to be kicked out of school. I was hardly lucid half the time, but when I was, I felt like shit. I wanted out. So you can imagine that I’d take the first opportunity I had to build myself a new life, no matter what the cost.

I should’ve known right off the bat that there was something odd about Ben, but I wasn’t the brightest at the time. He was definitely unusual, though. I’d seen Ben in the shadier parts of town where most of my dealing took place multiple times, and the first few times I thought he was a cop or a private investigator or something else that meant bad news. He wasn’t, though, just looked it. Even in alleys and slums I never saw him without a freshly ironed clean suit on and his blond hair done up all fancy-like. He wasn’t old, exactly, but he definitely wasn’t young either, not by our standards. Maybe in his early to mid 30s. Can’t say for sure.

Ben was lurking around our crowds for a while, never buying, never making a move, not doing much of anything. Just observing, it seemed, which was threatening in itself. There was talk about ‘getting rid’ of him, and maybe he caught wind of it, because after he approached me with a job offer I never saw him again.

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poetry4dummies  asked:

Can you do 24 caulscott? I love your stories c:

Fo’sho! Sorry it took so long to do this one!

24. Caulscott

“Are you drunk?”

The first answer was a groan was the sound of confirmation that could be heard as Nathan laid half-on and half-off his couch. He looked like a train wreck, his hair disheveled and covering his face which was probably jaded beyond belief. The second answer was the simple fact he was surrounded by beer cans and bottles. Resting up against the arm of the couch was Warren who was down for the count and partially drooling on himself and the leather couch.

Max let out a sigh as she approached her boyfriend and lifted him so that he wasn’t in danger of falling flat onto the aluminum and glass. “I never knew you’d be such a bad influence on Warren- Or maybe he was with you. I really don’t know. But Christ, how much did you drink? You smell like you bathed in the damn stuff.”

Nathan’s hair was now out of his face as his eyes were squinted up at Max’s and a faint grin was spread across his pale visage. “Oh hey, babe…” He slurred as he reached out and gently grabbed her hand and squeezed it slightly. “Actually, Warren did that. That’s probably the….the…” Nathan ‘s train of thought was derailed with no survivors as he just fumbled for the word. “Smell?” Max helped as Nathan simply nodded.

She groaned and ran a hand down her face, slowly shaking her head. “So I guess we aren’t going out for breakfast then?” It was the main reasons she had come over, the promise of a date for breakfast made earlier yesterday. However, Nathan wasn’t drunk then so he probably had good intentions to keep the promise. But Nathan was so blitzed he couldn’t finish a sentence, the likelihood of getting him to the Diner was not very promising.

Even Nathan knew that as he spoke. “Anything I eat will probably come right back up – It’s like I am a water fountain baby. Except, nasty as fuck.” How charming her boyfriend was when he was drunk. As she prepared to lecture him Nathan squeezed her hand tighter and the smile washed away.

“Get me the trash can.” He stated solemnly, his attention focused on something else. If she had to guess, it was probably not barfing all over himself. Max swiftly moved away and found the garbage can near Warren and already filled a bit with chunks of vomit.

Max bit back her gag reflex as she hastily grabbed it and shoved it towards Nathan, and not a moment too late. Nathan grabbed ahold of it for dear life and put his head into it and proceeded to vomit his poor, drunken heart out. Max sympathetically pulled back Nathan’s hair and stabilized the bucket so it wasn’t jerking about after every retch.

He was used to this with Chloe, and had gone through worse. Chloe was capable of far worse because she wouldn’t drink just beer she’d go for liquor. It wasn’t exactly pretty. What amazed her instead was how Warren stayed fast asleep. She was partially worried he was dead, but even over the sound of Nathan retching she could hear him snore loudly every now and then.

Nathan finally finished as he slowly lifted his head, looking even worse for wear. “I’m never drinking again…” He grumbled as he pushed himself back onto the couch and closed his eyes. Max set the bucket down, knowing full well it was possibly for his stomach to turn on him again.

She sat down beside him as she combed her fingers through his dirty blond locks of hair, as Nathan pressed closer to her. He may have smelled terrible of alcohol- or maybe it was Warren- but she still loved him and wouldn’t leave him. He softly reached for her hand and grasped it as he let out a small groan, probably his stomach contorting and twisting in pain.

“Thanks for not being upset babe…I know I ruined our plans, but I’ll make them up to you. Just when I don’t need a trashcan, which is now.” He reached for it again as he leaned away from Max. Max quickly substituted her hand for the trash can as Nathan was swift to vomit once more into it. This time he was more stable, able to hold it fine with one hand and use his spare hand to pin back his tresses.

With Nathan managing things well, Max walked off to the bathroom and grabbed some toilet paper, returning to Nathan as he set the trash bin back down. She extended the roll of toilet paper to wipe any snot from his nose or tears from his eyes. Nathan accepted as he began to do so.

While he was doing that, Max heard a shifting from behind. She craned her neck to see Warren had arisen, the vomiting finally stirring him awake. He gazed towards Max with a lazy grin and offered a wave. “Heyo Max, killer party last night. Shoud’ve been here.” He staggered a bit ahead, gripping the wall.

Max only scoffed, eyeing Warren for a moment before speaking. “You guys must have really been raging last night with all these cans and bottle.” Warren only gave a thumbs up as he came to the door. “Oh yes we did- it was intense. I think I bathed in some Mike’s Hard Lemonade because Nathan dared me…Either way, see ‘ya Nathan. We need to do this again soon…Just not too soon because I’m probably going to go to my dorm and curl up into a ball.” Warren opened the door and gave a quick departing call as he went off to his own dorm.

Max only chuckled a bit, as did Nathan. He was looking a bit better and didn’t look nearly as terrible. What a wonder two vomits could do to her boyfriend. Nathan reclined on the couch, sitting upwards now as he shut his eyes. Max took a seat beside him and pecked him on the cheek. “Want me to go cook up something? I’m no Joyce, but I can make some mean scrambled eggs.”

Nathan chuckled softly and shook his head softly. “You’re too good to me, babe…But nah, eggs probably wouldn’t go well with me. I’d rather not throw them up. But I could go for some buttered toast, that’d probably stay down and help absorb some of the alcohol.” Max rose and rolled her eyes with a faint smirk.

“As you wish, hangover master.” Max called back as she moved to the kitchen.

“I love you.” Nathan called as he leaned his head back with a grin.

“I love you too, butt-head.” Max called back as she prepared to make the simplest form of breakfast for her love, and then some eggs for herself. He may have been unable to hold it down, but that sure didn’t mean she couldn’t.

anonymous asked:

What if Claire interrupts Jamie taking things into his own hands, Having expected her to not to be home for a while as she had to go heal away from home.

Because I’m really 12 years old, I’ve been giggling about this all day.


It was good to be home. I’d been gone for nearly a week trying to help a young mother give birth. I had told Jamie and the others that I’d be gone for at least a week, maybe longer. The girl was small and her husband was built like a bear, worrying me for her delivery. The worry had been misplaced, though. She’d delivered the little boy with hardly a problem. I’d stayed, at their insistence, for another day until I was sure the baby and mother would be alright.

But now I was home. Home to a house full of… Emptiness? Where was everyone?

“Jamie?”

I hung up my cloak by the door and headed upstairs to the bedroom. If nothing else, I was due for a good wash. The road dust and mud had found its way into my shoes and I could feel the grit between my toes. Having anticipated being alone in my room, I’d already begun to loosen my stays. 

A deep Scottish voice moaned from the corner. I knew that voice. And that moan.

Spinning around quickly, I felt my mouth drop open. Jamie sat on the floor in the corner of the room, gripping himself tightly. My brows slowly rose.

“Oh God…” he panted.

I couldn’t look away and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He couldn’t possibly be pleasuring himself. Yet, that’s exactly what he was doing.

“And just what do you think you’re doing, James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser?”

“ACK!”

Hands on my hips, I waited for him to stumble to his feet and provide me with an explanation.

“Claire!”

“That’s not an answer to my question.”

“Ah… Wheel, ye were gone, ye ken, and…”

“I’m aware that I was gone. But it was only five days. Surely your fleshly desire could have waited until I got back.”

“Oh, wheel… Aye, but… See I had this dream of ye and… I woke wi’ a nasty cockstand and… Wheel…”

“Oh a dream was it?”

He nodded quickly, trying to cover himself with the bottom of his shirt. But there wasn’t a thing in the house that would cover THAT up.

“Aye. A dream. About you, Sassenach. I swear it.”

“And you thought I wouldn’t mind if you just took care of it yourself?”

“Ah… I didna think ye’d be home so soon…”

“I see.”

With a huff and a twirl of my skirts, I continued with my preparations for a bath. If he wanted to make love to a dream, then that’s what he’d get.

“Ah… Claire? Are ye angry wi’ me?”

“Oh certainly not. You did what you had to do, of course.”

His eyes narrowed as he watched methodically undress myself. I knew what he was thinking. The hope practically glowed in his eyes. He honestly thought I’d take care of his needs now that I was home. There were still things he had to learn, even after all these years of marriage.

“Would you mind getting me some of the hot water from the kitchen please?”

His mouth opened and closed before he nodded and rushed out. If he was quick about it, no one would see him. Hopefully.

He came back and poured the water into the wash tub. It was steaming delightfully and I longed to soak my aching body in it. A full day on horseback was not something a woman my age did easily.

“Sassenach?” he asked as I stepped into the water.

“Yes, my love?” I said dryly.

“Ah… What is it ye’re doing?”

“Well, it seems as if I’m taking a bath.”

“Would ye like some help wi’ it?”

Looking him dead in the eye, I smiled the most wicked smile I could muster.

“I think I’m just fine on my own. You just go back to your corner and finish whatever you were doing.”

He stared at me in utter disbelief. He’d seen me touch myself briefly on a riverbank before we’d made love like slippery snakes. I hadn’t really had a need to do it since then, as he was usually within easy reach.

I didn’t need to do it now, but I thought he should learn something today. No matter if it was me he was thinking of, he was pleasuring himself without me. He took something from me, doing that, and I meant to make sure he understood that.

Jamie backed himself into the corner, still staring at me. I sank down into the warm water and sighed. It felt wonderful on my skin, relaxing my muscles and joints. I heard faint popping as I came back into alignment. With my eyes closed, mostly so I wouldn’t break into giggles at the look that would be on his face, I propped one leg over the edge of the tub.

I had to see him, then. I had to know the look of painful longing in his eyes. To be sure he knew exactly what I was doing, I slid my hand up from my ankle down below the water line. He craned his neck to see where it went, grimacing when the water distorted his view.

“Ye dinna have to do that, Claire,” he said, voice pleading.

“Neither did you. You can come closer to watch if you like, but don’t you dare touch me.”

He rushed forward so fast his shirt tails fluttered behind him. Standing over me, he stared down into the watery depths. One thing about being as pale as I was, my flesh wasn’t difficult to see in dark water.

“Christ ye look so bonny in the water,” he breathed.

“Just imagine how much more bonny I’d be if you joined me,” I said, meeting his eyes.

The hope sprang up again and I said nothing, glaring until he settled back onto his feet. I wanted him badly, almost enough to let him in the tub. But no. Looking at the tent he’d created with his shirt, I was reminded of the state I’d found him in.

My own eyes rolled back as my fingers moved lightly over my swollen flesh. I might have made a sound, I wasn’t paying close enough attention. I only knew what my body wanted and how to get it. 

“Jesus, Claire. Please don’t.”

“Now you’ll know what it feels like. Perhaps the next time you consider taking things into your own hands, you’ll recall this experience, hmm?”

My back arched and this time I did make a noise as I slid one finger in. The question now was should I make it fast or make him agonize over it?

Cracking one eye open, I saw the sweat beading at his temples. His jaw was clenched so hard I was absently worried he might crack a tooth. Both hands were in tight fists. As enjoyable as it might be to do this to him, I’d better make it fast before he started breaking furniture.

Toes curling, I felt the little bones pop as I writhed from my own attentions. Jamie was groaning and grunting in time with me. Forcing my eyes open, I realized he was stroking himself in perfect rhythm with my own hand. It was coming, the epic conclusion. I felt it building like a volcano about to erupt.

Unbidden, words came to my lips.

“Jamie!”

I couldn’t stop him even if I’d wanted to. And I did not want to. His hand plunged into the water and tore my own away from myself. He wrapped my fingers around his hardness and thrust two fingers into me so hard my volcano erupted. I cried out and heard water splashing over the sides of the tub. Without thinking, I pulled and squeezed him until I felt him tremble in my hand.

Some time later, when the water had gone cold and he was limp in my grasp, I opened my eyes. He had one hand gripping the rim of the tub to keep himself upright.

“God, Claire,” he groaned.

“That wasn’t what I’d planned,” I said, taking a deep, satisfied breath.

“I’ve half a mind t’ throw ye on the bed and make ye beg for mercy…”

“But you won’t. Get me that towel would you?”

On shaking legs, he straightened and grabbed the towel for me. But, rather than hand it over, he wrapped me in it and pulled me into his chest.

“Forgive me, Sassenach. I didna mean to hurt ye wi’ my actions.”

I stared up at him, shocked. I hadn’t breathed a word about being upset by what he’d done.

“I ken ye verra well by now, mo nighean donn. Ye have a glass face and I can read it like my own mind.”

“Jamie, I-”

“Am I wrong? Were ye no’ hurt by what I did?”

“I… A little.”

“Then I beg your forgiveness. That wasna my intention.”

“I know. I just don’t like the idea that you can get pleasure somewhere else. What need would you have of sharing my bed, then?”

“What need? After all this time, still ye think I find pleasure elsewhere?”

I looked up at him and saw him smile.

“Nae, Sassenach. It’s only ever been you. My whole heart for my whole life.”

** Voyager ** 

He turned from the window to stare at me.

“Christ!” he said. “Not want ye?” His face was pale now, and his eyes unnaturally bright.

“I have burned for you for twenty years, Sassenach,” he said softly. “Do ye not know that? Jesus!” The breeze stirred the loose wisps of hair around his face, and he brushed them back impatiently.

“But I’m no the man ye knew, twenty years past, am I?” He turned away, with a gesture of frustration. “We know each other now less than we did when we wed.”

“Do you want me to go?” The blood was pounding thickly in my ears.

“No!” He swung quickly toward me, and gripped my shoulder tightly, making me pull back involuntarily. “No,” he said, more quietly. “I dinna want ye to go. I told ye so, and I meant it. But…I must know.” He bent his head toward me, his face alive with troubled question.

“Do ye want me?” he whispered. “Sassenach, will ye take me—and risk the man that I am, for the sake of the man ye knew?”

Voyager, Chp. 25 House of Joy

pgs. 337-338

“Are you trying to tell me you don’t want me to stay?” I said, finally. “Because if so…I mean, I know you’ll have a life now…maybe you have…other ties…” With unnaturally acute senses, I could hear the small sounds of activity throughout the house below, even above the rush of the storm, and the pounding of my own heart. My palms were damp, and I wiped them surreptitiously against my skirt.

He turned from the window to stare at me.

“Christ!” he said. “Not want ye?” His face was pale now, and his eyes unnaturally bright.

“I have burned for you for twenty years, Sassenach,” he said softly. “Do ye not know that? Jesus!” The breeze stirred the loose wisps of hair around his face, and he brushed them back impatiently.

“But I’m no the man ye knew, twenty years past, am I?” He turned away, with a gesture of frustration. “We know each other now less than we did when we wed.”

“Do you want me to go?” The blood was pounding thickly in my ears.

“No!” He swung quickly toward me, and gripped my shoulder tightly, making me pull back involuntarily. “No,” he said, more quietly. “I dinna want ye to go. I told ye so, and I meant it. But…I must know.” He bent his head toward me, his face alive with troubled question.

“Do ye want me?” he whispered. “Sassenach, will ye take me—and risk the man that I am, for the sake of the man ye knew?”

I felt a great wave of relief, mingled with fear. It ran from his hand on my shoulder to the tips of my toes, weakening my joints.

“It’s a lot too late to ask that,” I said, and reached to touch his cheek, where the rough beard was starting to show. It was soft under my fingers, like stiff plush. “Because I’ve already risked everything I had. But whoever you are now, Jamie Fraser—yes. Yes, I do want you.”

The light of the candle flame glowed blue in his eyes, as he held out his hands to me, and I stepped wordless into his embrace. I rested my face against his chest, marveling at the feel of him in my arms; so big, so solid and warm. Real, after the years of longing for a ghost I could not touch.

Disentangling himself after a moment, he looked down at me, and touched my cheek, very gently. He smiled slightly.

“You’ve the devil’s own courage, aye? But then, ye always did.”

I tried to smile at him, but my lips trembled.

“What about you? How do you know what I’m like? You don’t know what I’ve been doing for the last twenty years, either. I might be a horrible person, for all you know!”

The smile on his lips moved into his eyes, lighting them with humor. “I suppose ye might, at that. But, d’ye know, Sassenach—I dinna think I care?”

I stood looking at him for another minute, then heaved a deep sigh that popped a few more stitches in my gown.

“Neither do I.”

Dealer Part II (Luke)

Can you write a smut where Luke is you drug dealing boyfreind and he makes drugs in your basement where there are girls basically naked and you are getting tired of it for 1 there drugs and 2 he sometimes sleeps with others girls even tho you are his main hoe so you get mad and you leave and he realizes that he still needs you and he’s crying and veary sad (but plz don’t make the girl be to easy to get back with luke

For: masterbatingluke

Luke

“(Y/N), seriously, just answer the fucking phone, please!” Luke shouted into the voicemail, ending his fifth message to you. Since it was evident you weren’t going to answer his call, or reply to his messages, he decided to head over to your house, figuring you’d have to talk to him then.

~

Pulling up to the familiar pale blue house, he took his time walking to the door, thinking of an excuse for coming back besides “I really need your help moving all this product” or “I need somewhere to work.” Knocking on the door, he made sure to knock in the pattern only the two of you knew, signaling it was one of you. “I can wait here until you come out, it’s fine, I’ve got all the time in the world.” he raised his voice slightly. Waiting a few minutes, it was clear you weren’t going to let him in anytime soon. “Jesus Christ, (Y/N), just open the fucking door!” he shouted, irritated, letting his fist bang against the door a little harder than intended. Creaking, the door opened about an inch before the knob fell to his feet. Too annoyed to care, he pushed through the door, running up the stairs to your bedroom.Not bothering to knock since their was nothing for you to hide from him anyway, he turned the knob stepping into the room. Immediately he was greeted by a cold breeze. His irritation continued to grow when he didn’t see you anywhere. “Seriously (Y/N), it’s not funny, where are you?” he asked, his voice shaking some. Walking around the room, he stopped when he felt the breeze again, turning to your window, he pushed the flowing curtains aside, revealing a shattered window and pieces of glass on the floor. Turning on his heel, he ran to the basement to where you kept the safe under the stairs. Crouching down next to the small black box, realizing the lock had been tampered with, he pulled on the handle, opening the safe immediately, not even needing the code. His stomach dropped seeing everything was gone except a small piece of paper with a phone number.

Running back up the stairs, Luke dialed the number on the paper, praying you would answer and explain all this even though he knew it wouldn’t be your voice on the other end of the phone. Getting in his car, he stopped as he heard the ringing stop and a low voice fill the silence. “Finally found this? You’re not a very good boyfriend, now are you?” a deep voice chuckled. “Where’s (Y/N)?” Luke asked, trying to keep his voice steady. “You’re a smart kid, why would I tell you that?” the voice taunted. “You have something of ours, and we have something of yours, and if you’re not fast, she’s not gonna be here too long,” he continued. “No…no, no, no, please, this isn’t her fault, please,” Luke began to clench his fists around the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white while he tried to keep himself calm. About to end the call, he stopped when he heard a scream from the other end of the phone. “Luke, please!” the voice was high and desperate, he knew right away it belonged to you. “(Y/N)!” he called back. He could feel his heart drop as he heard you sob, a loud smacking sound ringing in his ear before he was disconnected. “No, please, please, please,” he pleaded desperately to himself, his voice becoming weaker with every word. His breaths becoming shaky, he gripped his phone tightly before throwing it across the car, letting out a scream of frustration as he did. Gripping the steering wheel tightly once again, the color disappearing from his knuckles, the tears began to blur his vision. Slamming his head down between his hands on the wheel, he let his tears fall, gasping sobs falling from his mouth in the process. “I’m so sorry, please,” he sobbed, your voice replaying in his head.

~

Finally pulling himself together somewhat, Luke began driving recklessly into the night, hoping an idea of where you might be would come to mind. The lights of a liquor store catching his eye, he quickly cut across multiple lanes to pull into the small parking lot. Parking his car in a way that earned him a dirty look from a man walking out the store, he hardened his expression. Circling to the back of the store, he browsed the coolers looking for something, anything, to help the silence your screams in his head. Finally deciding to just grab some vodka from behind the counter, he left a $20 bill on the counter telling the cashier to keep the change. Keeping one hand on the wheel he used the other to crack open the bottle, bringing the bottle to his lips, he continued swerving in and out of cars, not heading to any particular destination.

Finishing off the bottle, he threw it in the backseat, hearing a loud clank as it came in contact with something hard. The silence beginning to eat away at his mental, he fumbled with the radio, barely paying attention to the road. Deciding on whatever radio station he’d flipped on, he turned his attention back to the road. Hearing a familiar song flip on, his mind blanked before thoughts of the fight you two had flooded in. It was your favorite song and it usually brought a smile to his face, thinking of you singing along, tonight it brought pain.

The last words he had heard from you were ‘I never want to see you again’ and now he was afraid he might not. He felt his eyes fill with tears, his vision blurring while his foot pressed down on the gas even further, trying to keep it together. “Stop, you don’t mean that, baby, you don’t mean that!” He choked out, his grip tightening on the wheel while hot tears seeped down his face, your voice ringing in his head. ’I never want to see you again.’ It probably wouldn’t hurt so much if you hadn’t said it in the way you had; emotionless. You meant it. ‘I want you gone’ Your voice bellowed to him. “You don’t mean that! I love you! Please, I’m going to fix this, it’s going to be just like it was before,” he uttered sadly between gasping breaths, as if you were right next to him. “I’m promise,” he spoke softly, trying to convince himself more than anything.

Forgetting about driving all together, he flew through a red light, silently praying he would make it out alive as he saw headlights come from his right, the sounds of tires screeching against the road in a desperate attempt to stop. As the car slammed into the back side of his, the cars both slid into opposite directions. For a moment he saw the driver, and then, for a split second, he was sure he saw someone in the back, someone familiar. He saw you.

~                                      

Luke, you have to be okay, I need you! Luke, please!“ he heard a helpless voice plead. ”(Y/N)!“ Luke struggled out, things finally coming into focus as he rubbed his eyes. "He’s awake!” He heard someone from around him call, a paramedic quickly rushing to his side. He shook his head ignoring all questions being asked of him from two paramedics. “You have to get her, she’s in trouble, she was in the car, you have to help her!” He pleaded with them, his large hands shaking trying to convince them you were in the car. He pointed to where the other car sat, a few feet away from a streetlight, glass shattered and blood splattered on the ground, he prayed it wasn’t your own, he hoped he wasn’t too late. “Why won’t you listen to me?” he asked, heartbroken. “He’s still in shock,” one explained while the other tried placing an oxygen mask over his face, Luke struggling to keep it off. “No, you have to save her, please! (Y/N)!” He exclaimed, mustering the remaining breaths in his weakening body before two men in uniforms came to his side in attempt to restrain his arms. “Stop, I need to help her! (Y/N)!” He called helplessly before his vision fell black.

 

✧・゚:*✧・゚:* 5SOS PREFS/SMUT *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT, SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, I’M RLY BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING AND ONLY HAVE LIKE 3 NIGHTS A WEEK I’M NOT AT SCHOOL FOR AN EXTRA  4 HOURS BUT THEN I’M DOING HOMEWORK, BUT AFTER NOVEMBER 1ST I SHOULD HAVE WAAAY MORE TIME TO WRITE STUFF, SO THANKS FOR HANGING AROUND. I’ll start working on part 3 soon, i’ll update you guys! (Feel free to request something, I write smut and prefs) -kayla

PART 1 HERE