Fahc au where Ryan and Ray are absolute shit at sleeping. Ryan’s been solo for so long that he’s too used to having his own back, staying vigilant and paranoid cause that’s the only way you don’t get got. Ray lived on the streets for years before some random gang took him in, and even there he wasn’t safe. So they have odd habits, even in the safety of the penthouse, because some habits die hard, but some habits were never mortal to begin with.
Ryan will refuse to lie down to sleep, because it’s hard to spring straight out of bed and into action. He’ll only ever sleep sitting down at best, leaning against a wall standing at worse. It makes his back and neck ache but it’s just flat out impossible for him to relax when he’s reclined. He rarely ever even changes into pajamas, feeling more secure in his leather jacket with its hidden knives
Ray on the other hand, can sleep anywhere in any position so long as it’s not an open area. On the floor or a king sized bed? Too noticeable, no where to hide, no where to pretend like you don’t exist and the people around you can’t see you, can’t sneak up on you, can’t take your things when your not looking and leave you with even more nothing than you had before. So he winds up in cabinets and rafters, closets and on top of the fridge. Michael and Gavin have a game of bingo going consisting of places they find Ray sleeping.
So they grab hours of sleep here and there, never all at once, never planned, only taking what they need when they absolutely need it.
That is until one heist gone wrong when Ray and Ryan find themselves in a safe house to lay low for a while and Ray starts to freak out because there’s not enough furniture in this dinky place to hide, and it’s times like this, when everything goes wrong, that he most desperately needs to find some place secluded.
But Ryan gets it, the need to hide (it took him literal years to take his mask off), the need to return to what became instinct out of necessity. So he wraps Ray up in the biggest, fluffiest blanket he can find and Ray immediately starts to calm. He lets Ryan lead him to the couch where he sits down in the corner, automatically curling into a ball, still not feeling the security he needs.
and then Ryan sits down right next to him, sides pressed together, an arm wrapped around Ray’s shoulder and suddenly Ray goes completely still, then melts into Ryan’s warmth because Ryan is big and strong and is enough to cover Ray up, is always ready to spring into action should something happen. Normally it terrifies Ray when people are too close to him while he’s sleeping, but Ryan just makes him feel safe. And for the first time in years Ray sleeps straight through the night. And so does Ryan, because Ray is warm and calming. He’s good at reading situations, and if he’s relaxed and able to sleep then Ryan knows he can too. Knows for a fact that everything will be fine and calm, and if it’s not, he can handle it.
every night that they’re in the safe house they do this, snuggle up to each other with Ray in the corner of the couch or even just in Ryan’s lap and they both feel the calm and the trust and catch up on years of sleep. When it’s finally time to rendezvous with the others, they return to the penthouse and try to return to their normal sleeping habits. But they’re still on edge, and most of Ray’s normal spots feel too cold, too insecure to find comfort in their solitude, and Ryan feels unsure, unsure if someone will choose now to come after him, unsure of if they will actually reach them, unsure of if he’d be able to stop them if he’s ever caught off guard.
After a few days of not sleeping at all, Ray knocks on Ryan’s door, not sure exactly what he’s looking for, but knowing Ryan can give it to him. And Ryan takes one look at Ray’s worse-than-ever bags under his eyes and pulls Ray into his room, onto the rarely used bed. He wraps Ray up and sits him in his lap while resting his back on the headboard, sighing in contentment when he can feel Ray’s breathing and hold him close. And maybe it’s the sleep deprivation, and maybe it’s the felling of safety and trust, but Ray decides to stretch up and peck Ryan on the lips, nearly falling asleep as he settles back down. He’s asleep so fast he almost misses the kiss Ryan presses to his temple in return.
A song from Clarke to Lexa after leaving Camp Jaha!
Love comes at a cost, We used to drink to those We’d find, and those we’d lost. And I’ve being wandering these lands With bloodshed on my hands. I’m searching for you, Cause only you, will understand. So will you help me carry my heavy heart. And I will hold yours close and try to take apart, The pieces that haunt your days, You’re like home to me, so please say I can stay. Cause you asked me what I would
do after, I never thought that I’d be
here looking for shelter. But maybe it’s meant to be. With here with someone who
bares the cross Of lives lost, To set their people free. You don’t have to apologise, I know the weight of the crown And how hard it lies. You said I was brave and not, To let my emotions show. But now children are being
buried, And it’s all ‘cause I let
myself go. So will you help
me carry my heavy heart, And I will hold yours close and try to take apart. The pieces
inside that haunt your days, You’re home to me, can I stay? You asked me what I would do
after, I never thought I would be
looking for shelter. But maybe this is where I’m
meant to be. With someone who bares the
cross of lives lost, To set their people free. You hoped that Polis would make
me change my views, But what if I’m the monster, it’s
me and not you. We’ll never be the good guys, But we’re bad guys after all, Cause surviving tough, And some live will some fall. So will you help
me carry my heavy heart. And I will hold yours close and try to take apart, The pieces
inside that haunt your days, You’re like home to me, so please
say I can stay.