i kind of want to cry cos my bias is so perfect

Secret Admirer! Mark

[Secret Admirer!GOT7 2/7]

  • Y’all aren’t ready for this because this idiot is my bias and I’m probably gonna die after writing this
  • Expect a shit ton fo fluff okay? 
  • okay. 
  • Let’s begin aka time to RIP
  • When most people go to the park its suppose to be a bright sunny day that’s not to hot just to have fun.
  • A majority of people go in during the day 
  • NNNNNOOOOTTTT
  • IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT LIKE MARK
  • His idiot self likes going to the park in the dead of night when everyone else is asleep.
  • He says its more peaceful and gets to be alone 
  • rather than if he goes in the day time he’ll be attacked by tons of girls and guys and some questionable adults.
  • A peaceful starry night with the love of his life CoCo (which he had to steal her away from a crying Youngjae)
  • This is the type of night he loves, alone.
  • That was until he he saw another person there in his spot with their dog..
  • His first thought was “CoCo is fucking cuter than that dog.” but his second thought was “Who the fuck is in my spot.”
  • He would try to be a spy and sneak up on you and see if he knows you or to see if you aren’t some killer.
  • But his plan got ruined when CoCo started barking at the other dog.
  • And ta-da that’s how you meet.
  • You’re dogs were barking at each other like mad men.
  • But because your dogs hate each other doesn’t mean that you and Mark should hate each other?
  • So you got to know each other.
  • Favorite tv show, cereal, ice cream flavor, music genre and who’s dog is cuter.
  • “CoCo is cuter than your dog just deal with it.”
  • “Wtf no Mark. My dog is better!”
  • That augment lasted for about 20 minutes. 
  • Of course Mark took a liking for you if he didn’t; he would have left the moment he saw you. 
  • The both of you exchange numbers and meet up for lunch in a couple of hours.
  • Even when you went your separate ways you were still communicating with each other
  • EVEN UNTIL YOU WENT TO GO GRAB LUNCH WITH HIM.. YOU TWO WERE MESSAGING EACH OTHER
  • Like you got this boy is whooped but he’s not showing it. 
  • You were having a nice lunch until your boss calls you saying you need to get back to work.
  • Mark insisted to take you to work because he wanted to you to get safe
  • aaannndd he wants to spend more time with you.
  • So now he knows where you work.
  • Of course a light bulb goes off in his head but he doesn’t know when to do it but it’s a perfect plan.
  • So a few months pass by and you could tell that Mark wasn’t interested so you didn’t want to think much of it.
  • Plus you had too much work both job wise and school wise to focus on confessing to Mark that you had a crush on him.
  • So one day while you were at work there was a little gift? in your mailbox.
  • It was a cd..
  • That said “Songs that remind me of you ♡”
  • You looked around thinking one of your co-workers pulled a prank on you but none of them knew what the fuck you were talking about.
  • But once you opened your big mouth they all started to spread rumors that you had a secret admirer
  • They wouldn’t leave you alone about it but they died down about it and so had this “supposed admirer”
  • Nothing came in for you the next day until….
  • About two weeks later a bouquet of pink roses came in for you. 
  • Which happens to be in your top 5 favorite flowers.
  • Along with the flowers there was a note that said “Meet me at the park at midnight.”
  • You look at the clock and midnight was 4 hours away.
  • You were mainly scared because you thought this could be Mark…..
  • But he went back home to visit his family. 
  • You had two options.. 1. not go or 2. take your dog and have them attack them person.
  • You went with option 2.
  • So you went to the park but you arrived a hour before you were suppose to be there and see how this person was..
  • It was 3 minutes till midnight so you knew it was a prank or something stupid..
  • But your dog was starting to wag his tail which meant your secret admirer was there.
  • And it was Mark!!!
  • Mark was your secret admirer you were like happy and nervous and you kind of wanted to throw up because of your nerves but you didn’t.
  • You ran and practically tackled the poor kid.
  • And CoCo and your dog kept licking you and Mark to get off the ground.
  • “Wait did you already knew that the cd and flowers were from me?” 
  • “No I just played spy and came an hour early to see who it was.”
  • “I swear Y/N you give me headaches.”
  • “But you like me so you should have known what you gotten yourself into. I’m just saying.”
  • Mark did like you and even though he hasn’t fully said “will you be mine?” he knew you would say yes.
  • As you got up the moment was killed by two people screaming..
  • “MMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAARRRRRRKKKKKKK”
  • You were like wtf..
  • But it turned out to be Mark’s friends Jackson and Youngjae.
  • Mark: “Why are you two here?”
  • Youngjae: “Well Mark I came here to get my dog back. She needs to be asleep with me not here.”
  • Mark: “What the heck Youngjae.. Jackson why are you here?”
  • Jackson: “I wanted to see who made you so happy. He wouldn’t shut up about you, not even in his sle-.”
  • Mark grabbed your hand and grabbed CoCo with his other and started to run.
  • You were laughing the whole time, you wouldn’t let the poor boy forget about this ever.
Telling them Apart

EXO-K

Suho is the leader, you can tell who is he by looking for the person who is almost all the time ignored and looks like he will cry if he’s made fun of one more time. Most likely when he’s seen with the rest of the group he has the “don’t mess with me or i will ground your ass in no time” look. Suho can sometimes look like the word “daddy” personified or he can look like a 30 year old man who’s given up on life and there is no in between. Can be squishy and cute. $uho’s wallet is thicker than his eyebrows.

Baekhyun is the little black haired shit the one who looks like an adorable puppy that makes you want to punch yourself. Most of the time he’s on screen and when he’s not…no actually he’s always on screen, it’ll be easy telling who he is because he talks a lot and makes stupid jokes that you laugh at because he laughs at them as well. In a performance or a music video you can tell who he is by waiting for the high notes and looking for the person who looks like a baby lion trying to roar for the first time and has neck veins more popping than your booty. A way of finding him is throwing a cucumber into the group, whoever runs away and cries is Baekhyunnie

Chanyeol is the giant, he’s basically a Korean yoda-fairy-elf-puppy. 90% legs, is on screen a lot if not he’s humping fawning over Kai (I’ll tell you about him later) Sometimes makes jokes but most of the time is the one who’s laughing over baek’s jokes cos he has a thing for him. Can be spotted by looking for giant ears that make him look like Dumbo or something. He’s the one with the deep voice, the vibrations from his voice will get your panties wet, trust me I’m a scientist. You can also spot him by looking for the one who’s whoring out on the ‘V’ sign, V standing for virgin.

D.O. i don’t even know how to describe him, he’s either super handsome, super squishy or super satanic, you can never tell which one he’s gonna be.50% eyes 50% lips. His eyes are big enough for you to see the trapped souls of fangirls, the number 1 fangirl being Kai. His lips will give Angelina Jolie a run for her money and her husband cos D.O. brings the boys out, he brings the gay out in everyone. Whenever Baekhyun is around he is the one who looks like he can kill someone, looks like he’s given up on life and doesn’t know who the other members are. When he smiles sun shines check it out using lyrics but honestly his lips are perfect for smiling, but before he smiles he has this little smirk that makes him look like he knows all your dirty little secrets.

Kai is hot as fuck i don’t care, let me hold onto my panties cos shit. In a performance or a music video he is the one who is always, alWAYS hot. He’s on the taller end of EXO. His jawline is sharp enough to cut through diamonds i am not lying. Kai’s lips are like D.O.’s but not as plump. It’s easy to tell him apart he’s the one who either has dark brown/black hair or a greyish blond colour. Either looks like a 5 year old boy or a 20 year old model. Off stage he is cute and looks like a ball of fluff, almost childlike. Like Chanyeol he laughs at jokes but it’s not really a laugh, it’s more of a opening his mouth as wide as he can and shouting “HA HA HA HA” ya feel? Also when he laughs you can spot him by the one who hits people who are next to him. He makes you want to cuddle him but also do very inappropriate things, will hip thrust his way into your heart fuck you kim jongin.

Sehun the maknae. The one with the hair that always stays in shape yet never the same colour, you can tell who is he by looking for the strong eyebrows, he’s the tall hot shit that you really want to do even if he isn’t your bias. When he’s not around all the members he looks really cold and arrogant but in reality he’s a softie. Sehun’s voice is also deep and his dancing makes you want to scream. When he talks he does this eyebrow thing, you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it. Ways to find him: shout yehet and he will be obligated to shout ohorat and you shall find him. Almost always has his tongue sticking out of his mouth and if by chance that’s not happening he’s making the ( -  /\  - ) face, is basically 97% legs.

*takes a deep breath* time for EXO-M 

Xiumin he is your bias even if he isn’t your bias, he used to be chubby and adorable but now he’s xiuman and hot. He’s small but his arms aren’t, you can tell who is by the one that Luhan is clinging on to, it’s kind of hard pointing him out in performances or music videos, or even at all because he’s small and quiet but whenever he does talk you’ll find him because all the attention will be on him. He’s hot and cute at the same time. Sometime he looks like the youngest but then he does the eyebrows and BAM you’re on the floor crying over a 24 year old Korean who has too much power. He can make the boom boom’s in your heart go BADOOM BADOOM with just one look, i want to marry him and that’s that. He’s a real life Disney prince, the end.

Luhan is the finest piece of China available, constantly looks good. If you’re trying to find him in an interview or show wait for a joke to be said and look for the one who looks like they have no chin, he has delicate features and flawless skin which make him look girly but he isn’t, he’s not okay. Looks like Bambi, sings like an angel and dances amazingly well. His thighs are big and muscly so just look for those and you will have found Luhan! Most of the time he is around Xiumin. Luhan is utter perfection, literally idgaf he’s better looking than anyone and it makes me angry and sad because i love him so much. I have so many feelings for Luhan and you will too
IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE: HIS SURNAME IS LU 

Kris okay I know he’s not part of EXO anymore but he’s been in every single era okay so imma do it. Let me explain to you a thing, he is incredibly handsome, incredibly tall, incredibly talented. Whenever EXO wave at the camera or whatever look for the big yaoi hands, who’s hands are they? Kris. This is gonna be short, Kris is hot, tall, fantastic hair, deep voice. His voice is deeper than the ocean and will make you cry, imagine him calling you baby and you have an automatic breakdown why? It’s too good to be real. You can easily tell who he is by looking for someone who looks cool but then he ruins it by saying something stupid. his eyebrows can sometimes make him look like an angry bird The End.

Lay is the angel, the pure heart, the unicorn. A distinct feature is his dimple, it’s deep enough for you to cry into and then drown yourself in it because he’s too perfect to be real, his bottom lip is cute and pops out, why? Cos he bites it so much it’s probably swollen, poor thing. He is incredibly handsome and cute. In Korean interviews he doesn’t say a lot but in Chinese one’s he’s the one who always makes everyone laugh and smile, Changsha’s Pride; that’s what he is. Every member of EXO loves him and he loves every single member too. On camera he’s the one who spends about 60% of his screen time bowing. He’s very forgetful and can seem lost and confused so that’s how you find him. He’s extremely precious and kawaii. Even if you don’t love him, he will love you. His smile will give you diabetes

Chen is the one who you forget is actually talented. All the time he is trolling people, teasing them and mocking them it doesn’t matter if the member is his hyung or dongsaeng he will fuck you up with his words and laugh about it till the world ends, his laugh will echo in your ears at night leaving you with no sleep and you shall shout out his motto “WAEEE”. ChenChen is the one with high cheekbones, just as high as his notes and a kitten like smile and a cute adams apple. There’s something about his forehead that you’ll like, I can’t explain it. In music videos and performances he’s the one who does the high HIGH notes and does a little kick after he finishes. 

Tao: looks like an assassin but is actually a 12 year old girl. He’s one of the giants of EXO. Long ago when Tao’s teaser came out everyone thought he would be the cool mysterious one but boy were they wrong, whenever Tao tries to be cool or cute it fails, but when he doesn’t try it works. Looks like the Asian Miley Cyrus with blond hair. Always, I mean, always with Sehun cos he’s a raging homo for him or bickering with Baekhyun. Basically look like a cat/assassin who sleeps a lot. In airport pictures he’s the one constantly on his phone. Doing what? Looking at his nudes cos he loves himself like that. If you ever hear about an idol being very sexual with the fans, it’s Tao. 

now comes the hard part of deciding which one of these shits is your favourite, it wont matter cos in the end you will cry about all of them at 3AM. Enjoy the ride but even if you don’t they will cos they ride each other till the sun rises

it doesn’t matter because you’ll love all of them equally :)

Sakura as Hokage tho:

  • i was talking to gabzilla-z and then this happened and it got really long so
  • like she’d never marry because she has her five boyfriends and they’re all so needy so sakura literally could have a healthy relationship with ANY people from her team hanging around

  • everyone but naruto being like “wHAT?!! HWYY??”

  • but naruto bless his jesus heart and jesus no jutsu is like super proud and could not be happier for her like he’s just so fucking proud of sakura and he’s so happy for her that he doesn’t think being hokage would ever make him this happy

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