i kind of want this as a tattoo

Hogwarts alumni online dating profiles
  • Harry: Pansexual, looking for a nice person to hang around with. I like Quidditch, wizard chess, and having fun with friends. I'm kind of famous, but it rarely comes up...
  • Draco: Gay, looking for someone who understands I'm trying to be a better person. I like Quidditch, nice clothes, and having long conversations about interesting topics. Don't ask how I got the tattoo on my arm...
  • Hermione: Graysexual with a preference for men. I like reading, and learning about new things. I want to do some good in the world. Looking for a red-haired, tall man with freckles who might maybe see me one day as more than just a friend...
  • Ron: Asexual with a preference for women. I like wizard chess, having a laugh with friends and I play Quidditch as a keeper. Looking for a short, bushy-haired intelligent woman with a love for learning, but who might want to be more than just my friend...
  • Ginny: Bisexual, looking for a sweet girl with the stars in her eyes and her hand in mine. Preferably dirty-blonde, eccentric and cares about magical creatures who may or may not exist...
  • Luna: Pansexual. Ginny's a sweet girl and she means a lot to me, but I don't know why she suggested I register on here. I'll ask her after I ask her on a date later.
My proposal for types of ‘Dream Mommy’ characters
  • Library Mommy: library lady trope, wears an overly large sweater and has a collection of pens; doesn’t actually have kids, but sometimes a family can be one woman, two cats, and a netflix account
  • Mechanic Mommy:  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I want her to fix my car; two twin kids that run around, has three tattoos and a barbershop haircut, fixes other gadgets on the side and shows me how to hold a wrench
  • CEO Mommy: pencil skirt, on the phone, gotta work hard to woo her but she will take you to the pier and you’ll ruin the financial lives of several wall street bankers together, Buff™- works out to get rid of stress
  • Ghost Mommy: floats in and out of the game, totally dead, kind of see-through, solve her murder and you unlock some supernatural lovin’
  • Rockstar Mommy: plays the guitar, ripped clothing, responds in grunts, a lil’ tipsy at points in the game and will show you her gauge collection, wears sunglasses 23/7
  • Susan, from accounting: she’ll have to date me eventually
  • Monster Mommy: straight up funky monster lady of your choice, rips her shirt off at least once during the full moon, route involves getting rid of all the silver in your house; her son trades Yugioh cards

You know what I want? As we’ve established that humans are a race of terrifying omnivores - eaters of chillies and coffee and chocolate - I want Earth alcohol to kick space alcohol’s butt. 

Like I want aliens to be up there going like Winky on buttobeer. Sipping on their malt wine and fermented grains/berries. And sure, they may have great tolerance for that stuff, maybe it just gets them lightly buzzed and then they come down to earth. 

And at first they find it very amusing. Earthlings, getting drunk off downing a couple of very teeny glasses of some clear liquid.  Then one of them makes the mistake of trying vodka. and it knocks them the fuck out. Like waking up in your bathroom with a new tattoo and feather boa on kind of knocked out. And after that humans become much more terrifying. 

“They make alcohol out of everything”, one alien whispers to his stunned friends, “and then,” He pauses to create a suitable air of horror “They mix them together.” 

2

I think he believes that somehow they must recognize that the other one cares. I’m sure she knows he cares about her. The fact that she tries to give him back the sword Oathkeeper and he kind of says, “It’s yours. It’s always been yours,”…the subtext is it’s almost like saying, “You keep my heart. It’s yours. It’s always been yours.” - Nikolaj Coster-Waldau

8

…I wonder if that was actually a good decision to make there, Kuroo

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Pleasure

Theo Raeken

Why does he look so damn hot in this gif? Like he’s getting head?

Summary- The reader is a hunter who’s had a crush on Theo for a while and takes him to her place to torture him with pleasure.

Idk if that make sense but I just got the idea from the gif lol.

In honor of teen wolf sunday.

Warning- Daddykink!Theo Sub!Theo(Begin half) Sub!Reader, Dom!Theo., Blowjobs, chocking, bitting, unprotected sex. That’s all I could think of

Word Count-2,553


Theo pulled on the zip ties groaning at the tightness around his wrist. He had been captured by an unknown hunter, Theo was in his truck hesitant on calling Scott from what he had discovered when he was at the clinic a spider that disappeared into thin air. When he was in his truck a flashlight came into his view, he thought it was the sheriffs department but it turned out to be a hunter by it’s lonesome who shot a dart into neck knocking him out.

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shit my history prof says

some of the bullshit that’s come out of his mouth between my Medieval History and Western Civ 1 transcribed into RP sentence meme form. have a party with it, change pronouns as you need to.

  • “You shouldn’t walk through fire. That’s why God made it so hot.”
  • “Well, I’m ___, so of course I need a GIANT GUN.”
  • “I don’t care what fancy magic armor you wear, if a fat man with no pants hits you with a cleaver, you’re dead.”
  • “He’s like a walking encyclopedia of useless shit.”
  • “___ scared the shit out of everyone back in the day. That’s something that hasn’t changed.”
  • “And it was at that moment I realized there would be no peace.”
  • “YOU’RE THE SHIT!”
  • “At my age, the only thing that scares me is an IRS tax audit.”
  • “You can’t even get me to walk up a block to get a sandwich.”
  • “Come on, it’ll be fun! Do it for Jesus!” 
  • “This is one thing Europe is good at. Exporting violence.”
  • “I’m sorry, I find it a little hard to believe that a bunch of guys smoking hash can attack anything. Unless it’s like, a pie.”
  • “One crossbow bolt later and I learned that toothpaste makes excellent makeshift wall Spackle.”
  • “The question isn’t why or how it could fall, the question is how did it last that long.”
  • “If you haven’t seen a breast yet you need to get out of the house.”
  • “First thing’s first, I’m kind of an asshole.”
  • “And that’s why my girlfriend doesn’t take me out to nice places anymore. Which is good, because I didn’t want to go in the first place.”
  • “Moral of the story? When something isn’t yours, you treat it like shit.” 
  • “I like woodchucks. They’re the fat kids of the forest.”
  • “When the wind blows it’s like Satan’s hairdryer.”
  • “This cognac’s so expensive it’d be cheaper for me to do crack.”
  • “It’s like you know what they’re saying but you’re having a stroke.”
  • “No one likes you when you sleep with their wives and husbands and children.”
  • “Don’t do that. You’ll get warm. Then you’ll get sleepy. Then you’ll get dead.”
  • “This war takes fucking FOREVER.”
  • “It’s like going on a road-trip with Stalin. Like, there are fun times, where you’re in Vegas and drinking together, but then you’re digging your own grave in the desert because he thinks you cheated at blackjack.”
  • “He’s pretty much his sugar daddy.”
  • “Children are like little drunk people.”
  • “If you’re going to go all the way to another country and then still eat McDonald’s, you’re kind of an asshole.”
  • “How many prostitutes can you put in a boat? Let’s find out!” 
  • “I say it’s a dead dog story, but I promise there’s a funny ending.”
  • “It’s like crack, if crack was cheese.”
  • “Picture a Playboy mansion gone wrong.”
  • “It’s like living in some bizarre fantasy porno.”
  • “He smells like something from the X-Files.
  • “There are a lot of ways to die, but not many quite as stylish.”
  • “Why? Aesthetic.”
  • “If you’re looking for a back tattoo this is the one you want.”
  • “Why does he succeed? He has a plan. Sounds stupid, but not many people have one.”
Types of Boys

I love the bad boys 
with perfect smiles and cigarettes clenched in between their teeth
The boys with ruffled hair and ripped jeans.

And the sad and sensitive boys 
who feel too much
who get hurt over small things, 
who send sparks within your skin
every time you touch

The kind of boys who you want
both physically and emotionally 
the boys who when they break you,
leave you with skeletons of them in your closet 
and their names etched into your skin like a tattoo

4

I wanted Emma to have something from her life separate from her parents, before they came into her life, that implied that she had some kind of draw to her fairy tale blood, in some way. So the idea was that when she was like 14 she decides she was going to get this tattoo, and maybe a friend did it, or whatever. It was something she kinda felt like was a flippant decision… x

6

Can you believe I actually sat down and lined this personally I can’t

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Flowers and Inks

Prompt: “I work at a flower shop and you’re a tattoo artist from across the street and you always come in here to practice drawing flowers and you’re really hot” AU by @aesocias.

Word Count: About 3,900.

Warning(s): Swearing, cheesy flower symbolism, all the fluff.

Author’s Note: Modern AU; Sirius Black x Reader. I’m just going to admit that this isn’t my best work and I’m sorry. But I hope you enjoy, nonetheless! Working on a Remus one next. :)

MASTERLIST

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How do Witches Celebrate Birthdays?

My 30th birthday in January will also be my first birthday as a witch. Usually I throw a big birthday party, but this year I have been a bit of a hermit and focusing on me and my husband’s health. So I kind of want to make my 30th something personal yet special.

Some of my ideas to do on my Birthday (as a City Witch)

  • Have a session with a Psychic to talk about my upcoming year
  • Have a session with a Medium to connect with my friends and family who’ve died
  • Get a witch themed tattoo (I have a few ideas)
  • Get my Natal Chart read by a professional
  • Commission a portrait of my witchy self
  • Perform a good luck spell for the year
  • Make an herb bread with all the herbs and spices that would correlate to your intentions for the year. Share with the loved ones you wish to be with you throughout your year.
  • Candle magick, make up an ultimate birthday wish candle spell that is activated when you blow it out.
  • If you have deities, invite them to have a little birthday party with you. Have offerings for them to thank them for your year and to tell them your goals for the new year.
  • Recieve an aura cleanse through smoke, crystals, incense, or Reiki

What have you done to celebrate your birthday as a Witch?

Fuel to Fire (6) Tattoo Virginity

Stucky x reader

Notes: fluff, tattooing, some angst, smut (m/m and m/m/f), anxiety, depression, mentions of parental negligence, swearing.

Summary: Living their dream, Bucky and Steve run their tattoo shop ‘American Ink’ together, happily married for several years and business is going well. When a girl walks into their shop and inevitably into their lives right after they’ve received some exciting news, they have no idea how their lives are about to change with some harmless but straight-forward flirting.

Fuel to Fire (intro) Fuel to fire (2) Fuel to Fire (3) Fuel to Fire (4) Fuel to Fire (5)

A/N: This is not, I repeat: NOT, how a getting a tattoo is supposed to go. Freaking bacterial hazard over here. If that wasn’t clear enough: SMUT while getting tattooed. 

Major credits to @thevillainway for making my next tattoo wish come to life, and giving everyone an image to help with visualising what tattoo is being done in this story! 


“Are you excited?” Clint’s bouncing up and down, excited enough for both Y/N and himself, as they make their way over to American Ink.

“Sure, but settle down will you? You’re like a five year old on a sugar high, makin’ me nervous.” Y/N grumbles, no heat in the jab though it manages to settle Clint down a little.

“You’re starting to sound like your boyfriends, cuddles.” Clint smirks, a knowing, devious little thing, and Y/N manages to look away before he’s able to catch the blush on her cheeks.

He knows it’s there, though, he’s known her too long not to.

“Shut up.” she mumbles, but doesn’t deny a thing.

Clint makes an ooh-ing sound and snickers the last few blocks to the shop, and keeps on giggling like an idiot when they walk in.

“Hey, Darce.” Y/N smiles and knows to open her arms for the impending hug now, though she’s still surprised with the force of it when the girl envelopes her into her arms.

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One of the most satisfying/cathartic things about black sails is the way it completely spits in the face of this idea of being a “good victim”. I’m sick of stories where lgbt characters have to be sad, saintly, pure martyrs in order to be sympathetic and palatable to audiences, as if homophobia is only awful when its directed at soft nice people. Stories that clearly exist so that straight people can sit there feeling sorry for us and be like, “those poor gays, life is so hard for them” and pat themselves on the back for being so open minded. 

Flint isn’t a saintly martyr, he’s not a “nice gay”, he’s angry and violent and complicated and shockingly awful at times, but it’s never like those things make his reasons for being that way any less significant. He gets to be sympathetic and horrifying at the same time, one doesn’t negate the other.

And I just really love the way this show deals with anger and trauma. There’s no false cheerful message that a person can just will away their rage. It’s there and you can either acknowledge it and try to understand it or you can ignore it and pretend its not there, but it is there and it will still effect you, just in ways you won’t understand. This show really helped me in a lot of ways, but one of those ways was helping me allow myself room to be angry. Not even necessarily “be angry”, but to look at and accept the anger that was already there, which actually has helped me start to be more calm and open.

And its not like the story is without kindness or optimism as well. There’s this sort of subtle, quietly compassionate core at the heart of black sails that compliments all that angry gay revenge in a way that’s incredibly beautiful and complicated. I think flints “freedom in the darkness” speech encapsulates that perfectly.

people generally get tattoos for one of two reasons. either a) it’s for someone important in their life, or b) they think that certain piece of art is cool and they direly want that forever inscribed on their body.

but every time I look at ral’s artwork my first thought always lands on that goddamn meme “who is she

so… who are they. who is this dragon. i can’t quite tell if ral’s the kind of guy to say “hey the izzet guild has plenty of cool dragons, i want one on my arm forever” or “me and this dragon in particular go way back. that dragon is a huge prick. that’s why the tail goes down my middle finger. fuck that dragon.”