i keep trying to find a right coloring for it

7

I can’t decide… save it or ship it?

Finding dresses that fit me is a challenge. That is why I usually stick with skirts (which I love) so I am not sure why I keep trying dresses. I always buy on sale and from places that have liberal return policies, I cant tell you how many I have sent back.

I chose this dress because it’s classic and a safe bet. I figured the color blocking would help my figure, which it does if it is the right angle. Unfortunately, if I am not at that perfect angle it has the reverse effect. I think it makes me look a bit chunky, kind of adorable though, but heavier than I actually am.

So what do you think? Keep in mind the photos above are the best ones, others make me look heavier. Should I save it or ship it?

4

“No matter what I attempt, even if it’s the most simple of tasks, it always ends in failure. Unfortunately, I find that my life is one big regret after another. Yet, after all these years, I still don’t know when to give up. Is it my fault to keep trying when the results are always the same? Is it impossible for me to make things right? Even if I’d try to give up, I don’t think I could. It’s not in my nature to submit in the face of disappointment. In the end, I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment. I really am an idiot.”

d gray man + favorite character requested by @aatsushiis
allen walker requested by @nea-chi

1. I’m 5’ built of the remains of the universe. Galaxies run through my veins. My bones are sculpted of gold. I shimmer. I shine. Tiny but mighty. I was always born from better things it just took me awhile to break the porcelain concealing it all away and find the sun resting right at my core. 

2. Ever since I was small as soon as I hit the ground I’d pick myself back up and keep on running. It’s just my way of being. I never stop going, even when the rest of the see through world constructed of glass and fragile things around me begins to shatter. I pick up every single piece and try to turn it into something new.  

3. Every single person I’ve come across says differently about what color my eyes are. Blue, green, gray, hazel. All of the above. Multiple choice. They change. The first person who loved me told me I had oceans in my eyes. My family always said it switched depending on the lighting or the weather or what I was wearing like some sort of mood ring. I still haven’t settled on an actual share and I quite like that.

4. My lips have met with 19 (ish) other pairs. Yet I’ve only ever spilled confessions of love to 1 out of the 19. I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like to want to breathe another human in until they’ve replaced all the oxygen with them. Til my rib cages break, so everything I feel for them and everything they feel for me consumes us both. Leaving us with heavy hearts and light heads. 

5. I carry the entire world on my shoulders. I offer to lighten others loads only to increase my own. I’ve always been like this. Until my back begins to bend and I crumble for everyone else. I’m atlas. I keep the sky above everyone's heads because If I let go  it call comes crashing down.

6. Music has always kept my soul going. It’s my fire. It’s my fuel. Rough finger tips and worn down strings. Secretly lyrics and endless melodies. I’m sorry for the stories I’ve confessed. I’m sorry for the things I’ve not spoken but sang. To the world. I’m also not sorry because they were mine to tell. If you don’t want the last word then I’ll snatch it up without hesitation.

7. I used to pour my heart out to anyone who would listen. I would throw it into shaking hands because it was just too heavy for me. I couldn’t take it along with the sky on my shoulders. But that’s not how you handle a heart. You don’t toss it to the first person who smiles at you on the street or offers an umbrella in the storm. You have someone lock their fingers into your own and carry theirs along side you.

8.  I’m a patchwork person. I have so many different sides to me. I don’t think any one of them is the ‘REAL’ one. Every single stitch makes up who I am. Sometimes I show one side more then the others. Sometimes I hide certain parts that I don’t think people are ready to see yet or understand. It doesn’t make me fake. It makes me cautious.

9. I’ve always hated being stuck in one place for too long. I’m a wanderer. Even if I can’t get that far I will run and run and run until my legs give out and my lungs burn just to feel alive again. If I stay dormant for too long I bubble up and I burst. I’m a volcano. I’m a mountain. I’ve got to stay on my toes or else everything becomes too blurry to understand.

10. I’ve always felt like I had a clear idea of who I am. A strong sense of self. Now I realize that I’m constantly in a state of flux. I will never ever be my 'TRUE’ self because whoever I am right now is who I am. Tomorrow I may be a completely different person. I may have my ideas or views changed. Growths is a part of life. It’s okay not to be 100% sure of myself every step of the way. I’ve never been much for street signs or maps. I’m much more a landmarks person. But I will get there, I just got to do it my way.

—  10 Facts About Myself Part 3