i keep testing when i would stop crying when i watch it

From the Other Side of the Signing Table

“I don’t know what to say to you,” the girl said. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Thanks is good,” I replied.

Silence stretched, punctuated only by the scuffle of a Sharpie on a page.

We were in the same boat, the girl and I — both at a book festival, both at the end of a long day full of people, both in a signing line that had been going on for an hour already. There was only one big difference between us: she was on one side of the table, and I was on the other. Sometimes that difference seems to matter more than others.

Before I was published, I read a lot of accounts of what it was like to have your work out there, but I never read anything about what it was like to have yourself out there. I suppose I never really thought about it, to tell you the truth. I thought you wrote a book and hopefully people liked it and if I thought about book tours at all, I figured they involved standing on a stage for a bit before disappearing into a rental car. The truth, however, is that now — ten years and fifteen novels in to my career — most of my hours in front of people are spent in a signing line. Forty minutes on a stage or behind a table for a panel, and then two or three hours meeting a few hundred strangers. I had no idea what it would be like.

This is what it’s like.


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transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

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"Being Fuckable Does Not Mean Being Date-able." [Dylan O’brien] Pt. 1

THANK YOU FOR 1k FOLLOWERS GUYS!!!! This is probably the last request I’ll ever do. And it’s from a long time ago. Sorry. Requests kind of give me writers block because of the certain plot that has to go with it so forgive me if I never got to yours, but enjoy this last one because after this I will just write what comes to mind! MY BOX IS STILL OPEN FOR COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS THOUGH!!! 

PART 2
anon: Heyyy buddy I think you writing is amazing could you do one where the reader is drunk and at a party Dylan had to take her home and she accidentally tells him that she likes him then the morning after he confronts her about it.

My eyes were very focused on my ipad settled below my chin. Laying on my stomach, I felt my shoulders begin to cramp. I grabbed my ipad and laid my back on the pillows trying to desperately finish the story before I start to get ready for my plans later. I had a guilty pleasure, it was reading dirty stories, Dylan somehow never teased me about it, but from time to time he did laugh a little. 

“Are you reading smut again?” Dylan’s voice rang through my ears. I forgot he was beside me now curiously looking over to see what I was doing. 

“Yes and?” He put his hands up in defense as his eyebrows worked their way closer to each other.

“Nothing Rachel Green.”

“Shut up Joey.” I said responding to his ‘Friends’ reference, the episode where Joey found out Rachel was reading a dirty book. My eyes scanned the paragraphs as I was trying to get back to where I was, “How come you read smut when you literally can get sex whenever you can, “

My attention was very much now on him already knowing what was coming. His eyes wandered and paused directly at my lips. It’s like he realized his stare was starting to affect me that he tilted his eyes back to mine.

“Uh, what I mean is that I’ve seen you do it.” He explained in order for me to not interpret it wrong.

Was he serious? Well because Dylan, you are my best friend, and when I read these books I picture you in them with me but I know fucking your best friend would be weird for you. 

That’s what I should of said, but instead the words jumbled up into,

 “Because it’s entertaining to see the climax and story of the couple right before they fuck, and even staying for the resolution after.” I stated, not even bothering to look at him any longer with the intent of wanting to jump every bone of his body as I kept reading further.

I could see his hands intertwining together as both of them were playing around with each other between his legs. His eyes kept directing at me as if waiting for me to answer sincerely.

“Okay because I have needs Dylan! Did you really want me to say that I get horny a lot?” I rolled my eyes as his smile plastered pure satisfaction after I fezzed up.

“But horny of what? Just go have sex? There’s something you’re not telling me here.” He paused.

 “Better yet,  just fuck me.” he shrugged. He always flirted as a joke so casually  and it irritated the hell out of me. 

For us, saying, ‘fuck me’ is a regular one on one jokingly flirting with each other thing. We always joke sexually but lately it was becoming hard for me to just act like I didn’t want him to pound into me. I had it bad for my ‘best friend’. 

These love stories with smut in them focused on two things I wanted most, Dylan’s affection and his- well, dick. I didn’t want to be just friends anymore, I wanted something real with him. I read the cliche wattpad books with the plot of best friends falling for each other, pathetic in my situation, believe me, I know.

“No.” I rolled my eyes for the second time hinting at him to stop and wasn’t in the mood for casual jokes.

“You wouldn’t fuck me?” His hand went over his chest pretending to be insulted. I was getting really sick of this, I was ready to snap. He wanted to play? Alright Let’s play.

I pressed the button on the corner of my ipad for it to rest, I could feel stare behind me as he watched me place it on the night stand. All the attention was on him now,

“You know, what? I wouldn’t mind doing something right now. And since you keep interrupting me..” His curious eyes followed my actions.

“Let’s have sex.” I could of sworn that if he had water right now he would spit it right out. His eyes were left in shock to what I had just mentioned which caused me to smirk. I never responded to his jokes, I usually just laughed or rolled my eyes, but it was annoying me now. He needed to learn a lesson.

 After several rapid blinks he managed to let out a stutter, “I- do you like me?” A huge smile on his face suddenly appeared, His hand started to caress my cheek. Did he think I was joking?

His question caught me by surprise so I stepped back a little. I was terribly afraid of his rejection. If he didn’t feel the same way, everything would be ruined. 

“What? No!” I laughed it off, “Dylan, I said I would fuck you, because let’s admit it, you are hot. But an emotional attachment? Hell no. You’re my best friend?” That is not what I wanted to say at all, but I did not want to be humiliated. His face dropped and went back to a careless expression, his eyes turned darker and they broke contact with mine as his hand extracted from my face.

“Being fuck-able does not mean being date-able.” I leaned forward as I made my way across him. My legs were now snaking around his waist as he was sitting down gasping at my every movement as I sat down on him quickly.

 “What’s wrong? Tired of all the sexual jokes?” My lips whispered into to his ear. “Cause I am.” I said lower, “You should put them to the test.” Just as I was about to lean a tad bit close to his lips, his hands grabbed my chin and stopped me.

“Can you just drop it? I get it, I got a taste of my own medicine.” He grabbed my arms in a careful way but shoved me softly off him. He was heading out of my door, as he turned around not even looking at me, suddenly he had such interest in his phone. It’s what he does when he’s mad or annoyed. He avoids eye contact with me and goes on his phone/

“Don’t forget we planned a night out today, I’ll come by at eight.”

And with that he rushed out of my house leaving me utter shock. What was with the sudden attitude? His cold answers really started to made me wonder if I made him uncomfortable with my reaction. He has rejected to fuck me? Of course I wasn’t going though with it but he left before I finished.

It stung so bad. As if I wasn’t good enough to have sex with? My ego was getting to me but I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed of this whole situation. He thought he got a taste of his own medicine? He hasn’t seen the half of it. He wasn’t getting away with embarrassing me that easy.

**

Four hours later passed and It was almost eight. I made sure to look extra tonight, cause I was an extra bitch. The knocks on the door soon startled me. He came twenty minutes later than he said but I was okay with it.

 He was moody again. He stood a few more seconds at the door, “are we leaving?” still typing on his phone.

“Yes, i just need to get my purse and put on lipstick. Are you just gonna stand there and wait?” His eyes shot up and once he got a hold of the sight, he stared up and down at me. I was wearing a short black tight dress as my black heels complimented it. My hair was straightened, and I hardly straighten it. I go more for the curls usually. My make up was the same yet I added wing eyeliner.

He gasped for about ten seconds as he moved his hand up on down his lip. “Why are you wearing that?” He quickly rushed to my couch as he grabbed a cushion and somehow put it on his lap. He was fidgeting a bit, a normal person wouldn’t notice but I just paid too much attention.

“I’m going to try to get fucked tonight, you’re right. I shouldn’t be reading things about it I should just go get the real thing.” I replied coldly.

“You know I was kidding about that. Read all the porn you want.” He winked playfully.

“Cute.” I laughed mockingly. His expression turned cold again as he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Um I’m going to wait in the car.” 

“Kay.” This time I didn’t bother to look back as he left to his car. His annoying mood swings were getting on my nerves.

When we got to the club, Dylan’s grip was hesitant, as if he didn’t want to let me go and enjoy myself. “Let’s go dance!” His eyes landed on my dress again, “ Yeah let’s not. Let’s go get a drink or two first.” His grip was still on my waist.

I could see his protective side coming out, and it was irritating to say the least. “Fine.” I fake smiled to show him I was annoyed. 

Six shots later, it was finally kicking in. I was already heading to the dance floor, I could tell Dylan was watching from a far. His eyes rolled so far back every time he saw me interact with a guy, it was ridiculous.

It didn’t take long before he saw I was a little too drunk that I couldn’t keep up with my feet. “Alright, we should go now.”  He gently intertwined my arm with his as he took us to the exit. 

“Dylan! I was about to get some tonight, now they’re going to think you’re like my boyfriend and not want to talk to me!”

“Good.” He lead us towards his car. “How much did you drink?” I asked as we both got inside.

“I drank other beverages, I’m the designated driver remember.” He said harshly. I didn’t say one word to him the whole ride home, but I could tell we were going to his since it was closer. He was being so rude that every time he spoke, my heart ached a bit more.

The silence wasn’t awkward, he knew when something was bugging me so he just doesn’t add to it.

When the car stopped at his house I was afraid of facing him because there was a tear that escaped my eye and I swiped it quickly off. if I said anything he would still notice because of my shaky voice.

“Y/N.” His voice said from a distance but I blocked it out as I kept looking down at my shoes.

“Hey Y/N. Are you crying?” Dylan scooted closer as he cupped my cheeks. 

“You’ve been so distant this whole day after I made a move on you. I mean I get it, we’re best friends and you’d never go for more than that. You’d never love me the way I love you, but the fact that you don’t see me as a desirable person? It’s worse than punching me in the face.”

 I felt my sadness overcome me as my sleepiness mixed with it. My eyes started to close as my tears still kept streaming out.

“And it hurts Dylan.” I managed to say in my sad, sleepy voice. “It hurts so much because I want to be your everything, and seeing you that disgusted of me just teared me.” And sleep soon consumed my brain I was out with my as the water droplets from my eyes barely started to dry. Guess crying yourself to sleep is a real thing?

Dylan however was very much awake. He was speechless, and he was positive I wasn’t going to remember a thing in the morning.

The confronting will be in the second part!

“Some people are meant to be loved and others just naked” (IV)

A/N: Almost 20k words IM TIRED. This one contains smut, daddy kink, and is very very emotional and sad. I listened to this song a lot while I was writing and I wanted to share it with you all. By the way, this is the last part of this series (not of the story!!!). Epilogue coming soon. Thank you for your patience, support and enthusiams because I assure you I would’ve not been able to write without all of you. I love you and I hope you all enjoy this and tell me what you think please pretty please???? xxx ♥♥♥


Harry and Y/N are enemies in the business world but the perfect partners under the sheets.

Based on the song Wrong by Zayn ft. Kehlani

Part I. Part II. Part III. Part IV

Originally posted by ohbabyyeah

In the ideal scheme of things, Y/N shouldn’t have had anything to do with Harry Styles in the first place. Not in any way at all. People like her simply don’t have anything to do with people like him. That’s how things are and how they’re supposed to be, which was why no one who’s ever been an advocate of that implicit social norm would be able to comprehend how it hadn’t been possible for her to shift her sliding gaze from the bodily pull of his charm the moment they’d met in the dim light of a crowded art gallery that had suddenly felt empty and silent, as if the world had shrunk down to just the two of them, the surface under their feet heaving with the sharp metallic sound of attraction, nearly tossing them into the air. Their vastly different spheres of existence had rolled towards each other and somehow it had all made sense.

And now that he was gone without a single trace of him ever being in her life, all she could do was plough through the universe for every possible reason why it wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t stop feeling like there was a missing piece in her puzzle. She hadn’t asked for it. She hadn’t asked for him to barge into her, sweep her off her feet and push her towards a precipice with his delicate but deadly touch. It was fucking unfair that she had to feel that way over someone who was never an option.

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You Don’t Have to be Superman

(Put a read more in cause it got kinda really long oops)

  • Ladybug and Chat Noir are together
    • Like together together
    • Very much together
    • And everyone knows it
  • They don’t know each other’s identities because it’s not safe, not with Hawkmoth still out there
    • When they defeat him, that’s when they’ll tell each other, they promise
  • They defeat Hawkmoth when they’re twenty three and Gabriel Agreste goes to prison
  • Their Miraculouses are running down, or Adrien needs a minute to himself, or something, but the point is, they split up and are going to meet up that night and reveal themselves
  • Marinette doesn’t count on Tikki and the earrings disappearing as soon as she transforms
    • It’s awful, but she and Chat are in this together and they’ve got a hotel room booked so she’ll just meet him there
  • Adrien doesn’t count on there being a lot of paper work when it turns out your father is a supervillain
    • There’s a lot
    • Nathalie is handling it mostly but they still need his signatures and no one is letting him out of their sight
  • Marinette goes to the hotel room and waits for Chat to arrive
    • He doesn’t
  • Adrien glances at the clock every few seconds, trying to pull himself away from the mess of his life for long enough to get to Ladybug
    • He can’t

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Cherry Bomb (Taeyong x Reader)

Rating: M

(A/N) OOPS! I DID IT AGAIN!!!! I GAVE YOU A SMUT, I WROTE ANOTHER ONE…OH BABY, BABY! Anyway, here’s some yummy retro Taeyong smutty goodness. A little short and sweet, but definitely gets its point across if you know what mean :^)))))))))) Enjoy!

Originally posted by jonqins

It felt weird walking into an arcade, having not visited one since when you were younger. The welcoming sounds of heavily synthesized music, trigger clicks, and the smacking of big plastic buttons brought back a wave of nostalgia and made you smile as you peered over the shoulders of people playing. There were no kids in sight though, just people around your age who laughed and joked, drank, reminiscing in their childhood. You’d been coerced into going to a twenty one and older event at the local vintage arcade that had just opened down the street from your apartment. People were going bananas of the shiny restored arcade machines, vintage interior, and nostalgic music.

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Always Love You

Peter Parker x reader

Plot- gonna skip this today cause i feel like it would ruing the story if you knew what was going on so, it s a surprise

Warnings- language like usual, angst

A/n ok so im like super proud of this cause I’ve had this idea for a really long time and i like how it turned out. Let me know what you think!!!

~~


You sighed, leaning forward on the counter and tapping your fingers against the wood, leisurely scrolling through tumblr to pass the time at your job. You were bored out of your mind. Every Friday, you worked the night shift at the small little coffee shop you worked at. It was easy, hardly anyone came in at night, and you were allowed to drink a few coffee’s to keep your eyes open, so it wasn’t anything too bad. Plus, there was the extra cash, so.

But, above all, there was one major plus in working the night shift, and that was your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. He came by to buy a coffee once, you ended up talking for hours, and it just kinda became a thing between you two. Eventually he would bring some snacks, as you often got hungry in the night, and you would sit together and drink coffee and eat snacks with him. Well, you ate, he refused to lift his mask that high, and you respected him as to not lose his trust. Of course you wondered who he was, when you first became friends it killed you (not to mention something about his voice was so familiar), but you accepted his secret and let it be.

To be honest, you really enjoyed his company and looked forward to these Friday nights. You didn’t know how many times you had refused to skip a week of the night shift in order to go out on a Friday with your friends. They all eventually learned to plan their nights out on Saturday. You didn’t want to ditch Spiderman, or have him worry. He had freaked out once when you were sick, thinking something had happened to you, and you thought it was really sweet. You worried about him too, a lot considering what he did. He rushed off all the time in the middle of your conversations, and most of the time you wouldn’t see him until next week. Of course you would see on the news that he was fine and had taken down the threat, and that would put you at ease until the next time it happened.

It was dumb, and you knew it was, but you couldn’t help but have a little bit of a crush on him. He was sweet and kind to you, and you loved being around him. You knew you had no chance, you didn’t even know his name for god’s sake, but it was a nice thought. Not, that you thought about it often. You definitely didn’t daydream about him romantically taking off his mask and taking you into his arms before kissing you and-…no, you definitely didn’t think about that.


A few months ago, the light almost silent sound of someone landing outside your stand would have scared the shit out of you, especially at this time of night. But you were more than used to it now, and smiled as you turned around and saw the mask of your favorite superhero.

“Hey Spidey,” you leaned on the edge of the counter to greet him before turning to make his usual espresso, “Slow night?”

“Ya, but hey I’m not complaining. In this business, you don’t want a busy night.” he said with a dorky giggle at the end.

You had to stop yourself from swooning. God, he was just so cute!

“Can’t argue with that.” you handed him the coffee, and as usual, he tried to hand over the money but you pushed it back, “How many times do I have to tell you, Superheroes drink free.” You winked.

Although you couldn’t see his face, you had a feeling he was smiling, you could tell from his voice.

“Thanks (Y/n). So how’s your week been?” he asked.

You went into the usual retelling of your week, as he listened intently, lifting his mask just enough to get the straw under and to his mouth. He then followed with his own stories from the week, which you often argued was the more interesting part of your conversation but he insisted he liked yours better.

“But by far the worst part was when this dude tried to tase me.” he chuckled, and you too couldn’t contain your own giggles. Just imagining him swinging around trying to avoid getting tased.

“Hey, it’s not funny. See, this is the kind of thanks I get for trying to protect you citizens. I was promised the pretty girls would be swooning over me, but instead all I get is laughed at.”

You only laughed harder, until his words processed in your minds, “Wait, you think I’m pretty…?” you trailed off, your amused smile turning to a hopeful one, and you prayed he didn’t pick up on it.

His whole body seemed to go rigid for a split second as he himself realized what he had said, “Uh, I um- I mean uh-” he floundered for a moment, reaching up and running the back of his neck while looking anywhere but at you as he tried to gather his thoughts. Then he froze, looking off into the distance.

You knew that look. His spidey-senses were tingling.

And the moment was gone.

“It’s ok, go save the city.” You smiled, playfully nudging his shoulder.

He looked at you, and you wished you could see the emotions on his face, but all you got was a rushed, “Bye (Y/n). See you next week.”

And it was over. Just like that, the best part of your week had gone by, and you would have to wait a whole seven days before you got it again.

During rest of your shift, and the moments up to when you fell asleep that night, all you thought about was him. Or, more specifically, what would have happened between you and him if he hadn’t had to go at that moment. That night you dreamt of him, or at least someone like him.


Slamming your locker shut, you dropped your head onto the cool metal, “I definitely bombed that test.”

“Same.” your friend mumbled, her eyes fixated on her phone.

“Seriously am I crazy or was that nothing like the study guide?”

“Both.” she winked as you began to walk towards your car.

You laughed, climbing into the driver’s seat as she got into the passengers.

Looking through the rearview mirror, you froze as you saw an oh so familiar car pulling up.

It was Tony Starks. Or, rather, his drivers, coming by like he did every Monday to pick up Peter.

You felt the air drain out of you as you saw Peter run out of the school and into the car, the tinted windows preventing you from seeing anything else.

You gripped the steering wheel and tore your eyes away, looking down. It was ridiculous really. It’s been so long. Why did it still hurt so bad just seeing him?

“Hey,” you felt a comforting hand on your arm, “Does it still hurt that much?” she asked.

She was right to be surprised, it had been almost two months since you broke up with Peter, and as bad as you wanted to, you just couldn’t move on. It was like something was keeping you hung up on him.

He was the first significant other you had really loved, but you never even got the chance to say it. After just over a year of being together, he began to grow distant. He would disappear, miss dates, ignore texts and calls. And the weirdest part was when he would show up with random bruises and cuts. No matter how much you begged, he wouldn’t explain. According to Aunt May, he was sneaking out at night and not coming home till the morning. Not to mention his sudden friendship with Tony Stark, which he claimed was an internship, but he never went into too much detail about it.

It was all just too much. The lies and excuses drove you insane, and you eventually forced yourself to end it. He had just stared at you with huge eyes when you did it, and you knew if he had simply asked you to stay, you would have. But he didn’t ask. And you didn’t stay.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” you mumbled, putting the car into drive and pulling out of the parking lot.


Standing by the window of your coffee stand, you impatiently tapped a beat into the counter. Your coworker was 30 minutes late with no explanation as to why, which meant you were stuck here until her or your boss showed up, whichever happened first. It was almost 9, and you had a crap load of homework to do, but you were stuck in the goddamn stand.

You folded your arms before resting your head on them. A few minutes passed before you heard the sound of a car pulling up.

When you looked up, and saw a van about twenty feet from the stand.

The side door slid open.

“What the hell…?” you mumbled,  standing up straight.

As soon as the words left your mouth, a man jumped out and began firing at the stand with a machine gun.

You shrieked, and dropped to the ground, covering your head.

The firing didn’t stop, and you began to crawl towards the back door, but as you reached the door knob, it was pulled open. A man stood outside, and grabbed you, pulling you to your feet and dragging you along with him.

He pushed you forward to the center of the group that had exited the van. They didn’t seem like anyone special, just a group of very scary looking people.

You tripped and just barely kept your balance, looking around at the circle that had formed around you.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Call him!” a girl spat at you.

“W-what?” you stammered, “I don’t know what your talking about please-”

“Don’t play dumb with us. You dont think no one’s noticed the Spiderman coming here every week? He obviously knows you and unless you call him here the next time he sees ya is gonna be in a body bag!”

You flinched back, tears filling your eyes, “I don’t, I don’t know who he is he just stops by to talk i really don’t-” you screamed as one of the fired into the air.

“Just kill the crying bitch. Leave her as a warning- mmh!” His mouth was suddenly covered in webs before he was kicked in the face.

“Is that really how you talk to a lady?” a familiar voice asked, standing over the guy as he webbed him up.

There was yelling and a lot of  gunshots, then for some reason you were laying on the ground.

You could hardly keep up with the red and blue blur that was Spiderman. Watching him fight was mesmerising, nothing like listening to his retellings of it. He always down played his feats.

Then all at once there was a pain in your stomach, and you couldn’t contain your scream of pain. It was like nothing you had felt before.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n)! Open your eyes!”

When had you closed your eyes? Nevertheless, you opened them and saw the masked face you had grown to close too. He had pulled you into his lap and was gently moving your hair out of your face.

“What…what happened?” you breathed.

“You were shot oh god (Y/n) I’m so sorry this is all my fault I should’ve come faster or better yet just never let them get to you in the first place just just stay awake ok Mr Stark is bringing help he’ll fix you oh god-” you couldn’t quite hear the rest of his rambles, but instead focused on the increasing feeling of familiarity. His voice,  it made you feel comfortable, and safe, and reminded you of better times. You felt happy, closing your eyes, listening to the sound of his voice, and leaning into his touch. It was soft and loving. And for some reason, Peter was all you could think about. Peter. Why him, why now? Why was he the one?

You could hear him calling your name.

Peter.

Or, was it Spiderman.

You couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes to check.

And as you slipped into unconsciousness, there was only one thing on your mind.

Peter.

~

He felt sick.

He felt tired.

He felt like he had died.

But he wasn’t the one who had gotten hurt.

He sat in the hospital room, everything a sterile, too bright white. The only thing keeping him together was the sound of the heart monitor. Your heart monitor.

He didn’t want to look at you, he had already seen your skin, which was strikingly pale. He had already seen your face, with dry lips and a tube to help you breath. He had already seen your bandged up stomach, where the bullet wou d had been.

He just wanted to see your eyes. For you to be awake.

But until then, he didn’t want to see you because then it became too real.

He did this too you, and it was killing him.

The door opened,  and peter didn’t have to look up to know who it was.

Mr Stark placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Here kid, you gotta eat something.” he place a box on the table next to them.

Peter stayed silent, so he spoke again, “All those times you went on and on about (Y/n) I figured the first time I would be meeting her would be at the engagement party.” he said, trying to lift the mood.

“She wasn’t even my girlfriend.” Peter simply said, keeping his gaze on the floor.

“What? I thought you said-”

“She broke up with me. Because I was keeping secrets. I didn’t tell her cause I thought she would be in danger if I did. And I took her for granted and she broke up with me.” he paused for a moment and Tony heard his sniffling, “But I love her and I couldn’t stay away so I was being selfish and talking to her as Spiderman. And I fell in love with her all over again. And I was an idiot and I almost killed her.”

The room was silent, the steady beating of your heart the only thing making noise.

“You’re right, you were an idiot. You can’t protect people by keeping them in the dark. But this isn’t your fault, kid. You did everything you could, and she isn’t dead, just injured. So my advice is to tell her the truth and pray she’ll take you back when she wakes up. This life isn’t worth losing someone you love over. Trust me.” Tony stood, sympathetically patting his shoulder again, before leaving the room.

For the second time since he had gotten to the hospital, he brought his tear filled eyes up to look at you.

He had missed you more than words could describe. When you broke up with him, he felt his heart breaking, and he hadn’t been able to make himself saying anything. He regretted that everyday. If he had just asked, would he have been able to make you stay?

He took your limp hand in his.

He wanted nothing more but to hold you again, kiss you again.

Finally tell you he loved you.

But for now, this was as close as he could get.

He would just have to wait and hope.


~~


What do you think?? Is it good? Let me know, i love you all!!

Part Two for ya’ll

Realizations

           The first thing Jason realizes once he gets Tim out of his clothes is just how fucking small he is. His hands are on the boy’s hips and he can almost stretch them around his entire waist. And yea, he’s got big hands, but what the fuck? How does Bruce even let Tim out of the house, much less on patrol? Jason suddenly has the strongest urge to keep Tim locked away in his safe house for an immeasurable amount of time like it’s some ivory tower where nothing can ever hurt him and Jason is the big mean dragon hell bent on protecting him.

           It’s a ridiculous thought to have, because if anyone knows first hand just how well Tim can protect himself it’s Jason. Barely a week ago he’d had his head slammed into a wall a bit too hard for even his helmet to take, and he’d been able to do nothing but watch as Tim took down six mobsters twice his size with an empty utility belt and a butt-load of determination. It had been one of the hottest things Jason had ever seen, and if he hadn’t been suffering from a severe concussion at the time he probably would have kissed Tim. (He did get to kiss him later, at least, when Tim was laying with him in his sickbed at the manor after getting Alfred to patch him up. It had even made him a little less salty about Tim having taken him back to the Wayne center of operations).

           But shit, the kid has to only weigh about a hundred pounds. To test the theory Jason picks him up and throws him onto the bed of this month’s safe house. Tim looks taken aback for a very brief moment before his eyes become hooded and focus directly on Jason. He practically purrs, reaching out for the other man, and shit, the nerd liked it. Well, with how easy he is to toss around there’s certainly more where that came from.

           Jason climbs on top of him, pressing Tim’s petit body into the mattress with his weight and keeping him trapped there. He could just keep him like this forever, completely shielded from the world, warm and pliant in his arms. Well, until the next time some little old lady needs help crossing the street and Tim feels obligated to rush out and do the world some good, but hey, a man can dream.

Keep reading

All my Fault

warnings: death

words: 2,305

pairing: peter parker x reader

request: hiiiii love the blog!! could I possibly request some angst? peter cancels their plans to study or something together, and she goes out at night to get some snacks and ends up being followed and eventually killed? if its too much for u u don’t have to do it :’)

a/n: I don’t even know why I wrote such a long thing for this request,, its so sad. I was just gonna make it happy but since I’m tired af I just went with your request. please send in some happy requests so i can make up for writing this lmao. read at ur own risk,..


peter remembers the first time he saw y/n. it was the second day of 3rd grade, and flash had been harassing peter over his lunchbox. he said it was lame while flaunting his captain America backpack, looking down peter in disgust when suddenly it had been torn out of his hands and thrown into the gutter.

flash had immediately started crying while y/n grabbed peters hand and pulled him along to get out of sight. she had smiled at him, still holding his hand as she gave him his lunchbox she must’ve taken when flash was distracted.

“here. I think it’s cool,” she said. peter remembers the way his heart had raced so incredibly fast he was afraid it’d give out. “flash is stupid. want to be friends?”

fast forward to years later, peter has been harboring a crush on y/n for almost a decade. ned knows of course after finding out one night when peter had spilled his guts to him over a star wars movie, nearly crying when ned had laughed.

now, they’re a lot older. teenagers. they’re in high school, learning how to drive, slaving over homework and tests.

speaking of tests, ned, peter and y/n are in the library studying for an upcoming Chemistry quiz when y/n pushes her books away with a loud groan.

peter shakes his head in amusement, doing the same only quieter. “break time?”

“yes, god.” y/n rubs her eyes, looking momentarily dazed when she turns to peter and he bites his to lip stop himself from blushing if he isn’t already.

“I hate my life,” ned cries, breaking their eye contact to turn and pity him. “I would rather eat a can of worms than take this test.”

“I’d eat two.”

“yeah, well, I’d run naked through the halls if that would earn me an A, because there is no way I’m passing this.”

“dude, no!” peter has to cover his mouth from bursting out laughing, y/n doing the same thing as she ducks her head, her shoulders shaking. now he’ll never get the image out of his head.

“what? I suck at Chemistry, peter. desperate times calls for desperate measures. don’t tell me you wouldn’t do it too if it’d earn you an A.”

peter rolls his eyes. “of course I wouldn’t.”

“liar!” ned punches peters arm and he lets out a whine, which is followed by a wave of shushes all around the room.

“quiet guys, or you’ll get us kicked out.”

peter goes back to his notes, but he can’t help but sneak a glance at y/n. she does too at the same time, giving him a small wave. he grins, pulling out a piece of scratch paper and writes at the top would you really eat two cans of worms to get an A on the test?

he passes the paper towards her and she looks at him with raised eyebrows. she writes back only if you’d do it too.

peter returns the look she had given him. you’d have to give me something first.

what, a kiss?

a laugh escapes from y/n’s lips as she sees how peter reacts to what she had written. he’s sure he’s having a minor stroke because he can’t seem to do anything but stare at the paper in shock. he’s so sure y/n is joking, but he rereads her words over and over until she leans closer.

“you okay there, pete?” she sounds so smug as she speaks, one end of her lips pulling upward in a smirk. peter regrets facing her because now he can’t stop staring at her lips, which is exactly what y/n had wanted, he realizes. “see something you like, huh?”

peter snaps out of it, startling ned when he sits up too fast and shakes the table.

“I am trying to study-” ned cuts himself off, eyeing both of them suspiciously. “what just happened?”

“what? nothing happened. everything’s normal,” peter answers too quickly and ned points at him.

“you’re redder than elmo, peter. and y/n, you’ve scooted your chair closer to him. something definitely happened.”

“okay there, nancy drew.” y/n flicks a wad of paper at ned, who smacks it away and hits peter instead. “oops.”

“yeah, oops.” peter takes the ball, scanning the room until he finds a suitable target. flash. one of the only times they have ever seen him in the library, and peter isn’t about to pass up this opportunity. “the second I throw this paper, pretend like nothing happened, okay?”

ned and y/n nod, both giggling quietly as peter takes aim. he sucks in a breath and throws it, immediately leaning his chin onto his palm and tries to appear like he’s emerged in his book.

flash shrieks and they all nearly lose it.

“who threw this!” flash shouts, picking up the paper angrily. peter doesn’t move, but flash spots him and points to him. “penis parker! I know it was you!”

“maybe it was Spider-Man.” y/n shouts back, which is enough to make the others in the library laugh. flash opens his mouth to reply, but the librarian grabs him by the arm and drags him out.

“that was the best thing in my entire life.” ned wheezes out while he wipes his cheeks.

the bell rings, signaling that lunch is over. they all pack up their things and peter quickly slips the piece of paper he and y/n had been writing on into his binder when she wasn’t looking. he’d make sure to frame this when he gets home, which is totally not weird. at all.

“so I’ll see you guys at peters later?” y/n asks as she throws her backpack over her shoulder.

peter freezes while picking up his notebook. oh, right. they were going to meet up at his place later to continue studying. he had completely forgotten. he was planning on staying out later than usual today on patrol, which would be way more fun than sitting around crying over Chem.

“actually, I’m kind of busy..” peter trails off. he feels guilty when ned throws his hand into the air, but feels even worse when y/n’s smile falters. “I’m sorry, really. it’s just I already said I’d stay late at Stark internship and-”

“don’t worry about it, peter,” y/n says. she hides her disappointment by adjusting her backpack straps and peters stomach squeezes.

he can always stay out later tomorrow, he thinks. “how about I call in sick? then we can study until dawn.”

“no, it’s okay. I know how much the internship means to you.”

peter almost says that she means more to him than any internship, but ned clears his throat awkwardly.

“we’d better get to class, guys. peters already on thin ice with the teacher and we don’t want him stuck in detention for another month.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” y/n smiles at peter and he almost doesn’t reply until ned nudges him in the ribs.

“yeah! yeah. see you tomorrow, y/n.” peter watches her until she’s gone, which earns another blow to the ribs from ned. “dude, stop. what are you doing?”

“what are you doing? why’d you blow her- us, off? I really do need to keep studying for this test.”

peter pushes ned slightly as the walk to their class. they only have classes with y/n before lunch, none after, which means they don’t see her until till school ends in almost 3 hours from now. except, they’re not going to hang out today and peter will more than likely be gone by the time y/n exits the building, so chances are that he won’t see her till tomorrow.

his last periods drag on so slowly, but when the bell rings, peters already out of his seat and flying through the halls.

he changes in the same alley, pulling on his suit in a record time and is soaring through the air within the minuet. he stops another bike thief not even an hour into his patrol, leaving a sign on it like all the others. he’s got to start carrying around a marker and paper or something, because it’s starting to get annoying asking around.

it’s about 9pm when peter feels his phone buzz in his suit. he lands on his building to pull it out, the screen showing that y/n is calling. he hesitantly declines, still feeling slightly guilty for earlier. he knows that he shouldn’t of blown her off like ned said, but he what he’s doing is important. he’s saving innocent lives.. and stopping people from stealing bikes.

peter almost tucks his phone away when y/n’s name pops up again. he frowns, but hits decline again and switches it off. even if he answered y/n’s phone call now, it’d be too late for them to study together. may she just wanted to call to see how he’s doing?

he shakes his head as he climbs up his apartment. no, he’ll see her tomorrow. he should just stop worry about it.


peter wakes up late. he had forgotten to turn his phone back on when he had gotten home, which didn’t set off his alarm, so he’s forced to go as Spider-Man to school until he’s a few blocks away. he changes into his regular clothes, nearly losing a shoe to a huge rat that had appeared out of a trash can.

he runs the rest of the way, not stopping once and makes it just as the bell rings. he climbs up the steps when he notices that people are staring at him weird. he runs a hand through his hair, smoothing it out with confusion. there’s nothing wrong with him, unless flash had started some obscene rumor because of what he had done in the library.

still, he can’t shake the feeling that something terrible is about to happen as he breezes into first period. it’s oddly silent, and peter finds that y/n’s seat is empty. he sets his bag down on the floor and jumps when ned plops down next to him.

“you okay, dude?”

“yeah, yeah. I guess I’m a bit anxious.” peter takes out his notebook, unable to tear his eyes away from y/n’s chair. something isn’t right. “hey, have you heard from y/n today? she’s not here.”

ned shrugs. “nope. why, are your spidey senses tingling?”

peter pulls out his phone and presses the power button. it takes a minuet for it to start up, but when it does, his stomach drops as he finds that y/n had called him 10 times and left him a few voicemails.

his throat tightens as he presses the first voicemail and holds his phone up to his ear.

“peter?” y/n’s voice is shaking. peter feels like he’s about to throw up. “I-I, um. just wanted to call you because.. I don’t know. maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I feel like I’m being followed? please call me back.”

“peter?”

he doesn’t even realizes he’s standing until ned tugs on his sleeve. the voicemail ends and peter hurries to click on the next one, ignoring ned as he pulls him down.

“I know you’re busy with the stark internship, but..” y/n sniffles. peter doesn’t hear anything but her voice. “I just wanted to get some chips from that 7-11 a couple blocks away. you know the one we go to all the time? it’s really dark and I can hear their footsteps behind me, peter. maybe it’s just a coincidence though? call me.”

“they’re walking faster now,” the next voicemail plays even though peter hasn’t moved. “I-I’m really scared, peter. I’m going to call the police after this. I’m sorry for bothering you, but I’d really wish you’d call me back.”

the next voicemail starts off with heavy breathing. like she’s running. “I called the police but-I.. I don’t think they’re going to get to me in time, peter. I don’t know what to do except run, and-and now they’re running too.”

“mr. parker!”

peter pulls the phone away from his face slowly. he feels like his lungs are collapsing. his head is pounding as he gets to his feet, facing his teacher and the students staring back at him.

he doesn’t even say anything as he sprints out of the room, barely being able to hear the teacher telling him to stop. he has to get to y/n’s house. he has to get there as fast as he can, because she has to be okay. the police must’ve gotten there just in time. her phone was probably just lost, that’s all.

peter doesn’t even bother to change out of his clothes. he just slips on the mask and web shooters before taking off to y/n’s apartment. the whole time, he feels like he can’t breath. the mask is too tight and it’s suffocating him.

what takes a 20 minuet train ride takes peter 5 minuets to get there. he lands in the alley without grace, tumbling and scraping up his elbows and ripping his jeans. he doesn’t care as he stumbles to his feet, scrambling up the stairs and knocks on y/n’s door.

it opened slowly by y/n’s mother, who looks like she’s been crying all night. peter breaks at the sight of her.

he remembers the last time he saw y/n. it wasn’t even 24 hours ago. she was smiling and laughing in the library because peter had thrown a paper ball at flashes head.

he doesn’t feel the arms wrapping around his shoulders as he lowers himself to the floor, or the hands on his cheeks.

he had let y/n down. it was all his fault. if only he would’ve said yes to studying, then he could’ve walked y/n home and she wouldn’t of been followed. he could’ve prevented this is he wouldn’t of put Spider-Man first. and now he’d never forgive himself.

BTS Single Parent AU

kookies-and-myrok asked: Hello, sweets! I love your writing and I’m not just saying that Lol i always get excited when you post smt, anyways do you write parent au’s? If you do can I get a BTS reaction about what they would be like as a single parent? If not then its okay! Keep up the great work 💜

This doesn’t necessarily work as a reaction, but I can do a little like… bullet drabble or whatever on this. Either way, very doable. - Admin Dayna


Seokjin

There’s like… this anime called Amaama to Inazuma (a.k.a. Sweetness and Lightning) which is basically about a single father who raises his daughter to the best of his abilities but he can’t cook as well as his wife (who passed away). I see Single Parent!Jin being like that… except in Jin’s case he can actually throw down in a kitchen

  • Lots of love and affection
  • Smothers his baby girl with kisses before dropping her off to daycare and after picking her up
  • The daycare moms thirst after him bOI
  • His cookies sold out the fastest at the school bakery
  • Partially because Daycare Moms are trying to give him the succ
  • Mainly because his cookies are bomb asf
  • He got hoes
  • Reads/sings his daughter to sleep at night religiously
  • Chocolate covered Strawberries while they watch cartoons together
  • Shed a single tear in the beginning of Finding Nemo evRYTIM
  • Was literally floating on air for like a month because his daughter told him he was the “handsomest appa”
  • Tries really hard to scold his baby girl
  • Can’t look her in the face when he does it because she’s too damn cute
  • Puppy Dog Eyes work every once in a while tbh
  • Will cAUSE A FUCKING SCENE IF HE EVER HEARD SOMEONE WAS BULLYING HIS CHILD
  • Dad jokes, fucking duh.

Originally posted by meganhyunhee

Yoongi

Picture this: Yoongi is chilling, right? Lounging on the sofa, watching some psychological mystery film or whatever emo shit he watches. His face is pretty indifferent. He’s unbothered asf. His right arm is covered in scribbles and squiggles. His 7 year old son is currently surrounded by markers, casually doodling on his dad’s arm.

  • Lets his son choose whatever toys he wants
  • If his baby boy wants a nerf gun, he’ll get a nerf gun.
  • If his baby boy wants a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv, he’s getting a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv.
  • Also lets his kid wear whatever he wants
  • Supports the creative and imaginative endeavors of his child
  • Does not support coloRING ON THE WALL YOU LIL DEMON BABY
  • Sometimes stares at his child and thinks “whose mans is this?”
  • Also looks at his child and thinks “that’s the love of my life”.
  • One time considered redecorating his closet just so that he can hang a bunch of mirrors on the wall so that whenever his child does something stupid, he can sit him in that closet and close the door so that he can look at his reflection and reevaluate his 7 years long life.
  • All in all he’s a super supportive daddio.
  • He’s not like the other dads.
  • He’s a Cool Dad™

Originally posted by exoticmaknae

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RFA+Saeran Suicidal MC

Can you write headcanons for the rfa and saeran with an mc who wants to kill herself because she feels like she doesn’t matter and nothing she does will ever matter

I got this prompt before things went downhill on my end, and I’m so sorry it has taken me a while until I was able to write this for you, anon.

I really hope you’re doing okay, and know that you’re loved. Please if you need help, remember to talk to loved ones, friends, or to look up suicide hotlines for your area (Google as an incognito mode if you’re stressed about your history). If you’re thinking of therapy I used to use BetterHelp.com. They had an app and it was nice not having to voice all the negatives, just writing them down. And some places offer free therapy as well.

Do not be ashamed for wanting/needing help. It’s so much better than the alternative.


Zen

- He showered you with compliments on the daily.

- He didn’t know you. You were still just some person behind a text message screen.

- Why did he care so much?

- Out of the camera’s prying eyes, you locked yourself in the late Rika’s room, curling up beside her bed.

- She was so much better than you in every way, so much more lovable, likeable. No one ever batted an eye to you unless it was just to be flirted with.

- You knew those advances would go away the moment they saw you for who you were.

- Some over-depressed whiny fuck.

-  You covered your face, hating how harsh you had to be to yourself, when you heard the phone ring. You peaked over, the action seemingly taking over a year, but you recognized the face on the ID.

- Zen.

- You answered, a low “Hello”, to which he acted surprised to.

- “Eh? Are you sick? Did our RFA princess get a cold?

- Silence. Long enough that you heard him shuffle with the phone, probably to check if you were still on the line.

- “Mc? Hey, are you okay?

- “Why do you care?”

- “…What kind of question is that?

- You scoffed.

- “Hey, whats up? What’s wrong?

- “What, you going to just flirt with me? Save the damsel in distress who you don’t even know?” You swallowed, the action making your throat feel like it was being torn apart. 

- “I do know-

- “No you don’t! You don’t even know what I look like, let alone how I act! How I really am! Just some selfish fuck up who can’t even compare to that Rika girl you all keep talking about!”

- Silence again, and your felt your heart manage to break even more. “That’s what I thought, you can’t even-”

- “No, I’m still here. I’m listening.

- “To what?”

- “To you. To you venting. Mc, please just. Keep going.

- Out of anger you did. Anger towards yourself, towards the group. He listened. He listened as anger turned into broken sobs that had your chest heaving.

- He kept quiet for a moment, making sure he wasn’t interrupting you again.

- “You’re right, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you look like, but you know what? I don’t care. Because while I don’t know you that well, I know already you’re a good person. You’re helping us while your heart is so burdened with stress, while you have the weight of us on your shoulders. Do you know how many others would do that? None. In fact, the one that did is gone now. And even as upset you are with us talking about her, you’re still willing to help, you’re still willing to listen to idiot romantics like me, while you’re struggling so much. But you know what? We’re here for you. These strangers that you’re taking care of, we’re here for you too. No matter how silly, no matter how late, you can call me. Text me. If you feel like this please, please, just talk to me or one of the guys who makes you feel more comfortable, if you can’t talk to anyone else. Just please, yell at me, blame me, but god please don’t do anything to yourself.

- “I-I-I’m so ssorry-”

- “Don’t. We all have our bad moment. When I see you at that party, I’ll give you all the hugs I can’t give you right now, and all the ones no one else was able to give you. So stick around until then at least, okay?”

- You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “O-Okay.”

- He stayed on the phone with you to calm you down, getting you to agree to sleep on the couch so Seven could make sure you were okay. He stayed on the phone for hours, just listening, singing at times, humming encouragement. 

- And when the two of you finally met, he couldn’t let go of you, and you never wanted to let go of him.

Jumin

- He was used to coming home and you greeting him with a smile, warming his heart and taking the stress from work that day. Even Elizabeth 3rd didn’t have that effect all the time

- But seeing you curled up on the bed, motionless, face soaked in tears, had him dropping his suitcase and rushing to you

- “Mc? Mc, are you alright?”

- You weakly looked up at him, dried eyed threatening to tear up again. “No.” God, every part of you hurt admitting that, but you just wanting some emotion to grace you, something other than pain and numbness

- “Do I need to call the doctor? It’ll just-”

- “No, no please, just.” You weakly reached out for his hand, and he immediately grasped yours. Even just tilting your head felt like it took your whole energy reserve away. “I need you.”

- He laid down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Love, please. What’s wrong?”

- “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

- “About what?”

- “I’m such a fucking waste of space Jumin, I can’t do anything right anymore.”

- He jerked away slightly, looking you in the eyes.

- “Don’t you dare even begin to think that. Don’t you dare.”

- Tears starting spilling from your eyes again as you were forced to look directly at him, your shoulders shaking.

- “But I am-”

- “No,” He kissed your forehead, but his voice was stern, even slightly shaky. “You are the most amazing thing to happen to me, you are the best thing to grace my presence each morning I open my eyes, you are so much more than that, mc. Please.”

- You had never seen Jumin cry, but now you felt it. He was holding you tight, burying his face in your hair, as he struggled to keep composed as his body shook.

- “Please, mc. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

- You clung tightly to him, muttering a mantra of apologies as he made a mental list of how to help you exactly.

- He would going to start telling you he loved you six times a day, kiss you every moment he could, call you every small two minute break he had just to tell you he thought of you. 

- God, just anything. Anything to keep you here with him, and to feel like yourself again. Not this husk.

Jaehee

- Jaehee knew a few of the signs, just from excessive research she did after hearing about the late Rika.

- Maybe a few other reasons

- The two of you were closing up the shop for the night, you washing the dishes as she swept. However, she had stopped ages ago, watching you stare at a knife with a dead-eyed half lidded stare.

- She knew. 

- Slowly, she walked behind you, taking your hands in hers and getting the knife away from you, holding you from behind.

- “Mc, don’t.”

- That’s all she said. She wasn’t even 100% sure that was what you were thinking, but you bursting into tears on the spot confirmed it.

- She cut the sink off, wrapping you in one of the fluffy clean towels, rocking you back and forth as you sobbed into her.

- She wanted to cry, felt like she needed to, but she held it in. For you, just for you. Just anything to make you happy.

- “Jaehee, I can’t- It’s so painful- I can’t even breathe-”

- “Shhh,” She kissed the back of your head, waiting for you to cry it out.

- When you finished, she turned you around, kissing the corners of your eyes.

- “We’re going to get you to a doctor.”

- “Jaehee, no-”

- “Yes,” Her voice cracked a bit, and she took a deep breath. “Mc, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve learned so much about myself, I’m finally enjoying my life again, I feel like I finally learned what it’s like to feel alive-”

- “With me gone, you’ll-”

- “I’ll break, I’ll be in shambles. And I never, ever, want to see you like that. I never want to see your beautiful, shining, radiant face devoid of life. If that happened, I’d die, Mc. I would just stop.”

- She took a moment to rub her eyes, then to kiss you.

- “Please, please, just talk to me. I promise I love you, I promise I will do everything I can. Just please, god. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Yoosung

- Everything had been numb until now.

- Bad grades? Still workless? Numb.

- Yoosung drowning in games while you silently and mentally begged for his attention? Numb.

- You weren’t even sure what had snapped in you today, but as he was discussing a test he failed, sad over it, but a bit happy it wasn’t as bad as his past grades

- And you just broke down in tears

- He froze up, trying to figure out what he said wrong as you buried your face in your knees.

- “Mc? Mc, what happened? Are you okay?”

- He gingerly touched you, scared of provoking more tears, but when you leaned a bit closer he managed to bring your face up to look at him.

- “Mc, please, please, tell me what is wrong.”

- He was so scared. Were you going to break up with him? Did someone hurt you? What was happening?

- After a few moments of choked sobbing and garbled mutterings, you managed to clear your throat enough.

- “Yo-Yoosung, I can’t stand this anymore.”

- Oh god, you were breaking up, weren’t you? He took a deep breath. “Stand what?”

- “Just, I don’t fuckcing know,” you covered your face again. “Living. I can’t.”

- His heart sunk. Immediately he pulled you to him, tears already leaking.

- “Do-Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare, Mc. Please, god, don’t you dare.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word, he didn’t want to even jinx it. “Please, god, don’t. I don’t know what I’d do.”

- You outright wailed.

- “I don’t have a job, I’m such a disgrace, I just-”

- “No,” He pushed your face into his shoulder, refusing to have you keep on. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, or the people around you. God, please, I went through this with Rika, Mc, just please, please, let me help you. I couldn’t-” His voice broke, “I couldn’t help her, please, god, let me help you.”

- The two of you broke down, just rocking back and forth on his bed, sobbing together. You, feeling so ashamed and sick. Yoosung, so scared and guilty. 

- After the two of you cried it out a bit, he covered you in kisses, refusing to stop until he felt like you knew how much he loved you. 

- He’d nearly beg Jumin to have him help you get help. He didn’t care if he had to become a slave to C&R for the rest of his life. Anything was better than losing you.

Seven

- No matter what you did, how much you told him you loved him, he pushed you away. 

- You couldn’t understand why for the life of you. He was so in love with you a while ago, and now it’s just this?

- It was you, right? You did something. You weren’t who he thought you were…Right?

- He didn’t even notice you leave the house.

- You threw your phone somewhere outside, and just walked. Walked until your feet felt sore, until your legs couldn’t take it.

- When you finally stopped, you were at an old park bench. It was late in the afternoon, almost dark, so no kids were around. You sat down, and held it in as you thought about what you were going to do.

- There was a river nearby, so that was an option, wasn’t it? And if you truly needed to you could fashion your sweater into some noose. It wouldn’t be too hard if you had your phone.

- Phone… Right. You threw that somewhere, didn’t you? You couldn’t even look up proper ways of killing yourself, could you? Managed to fuck up right until the end.

- You laughed to yourself, and as you did it slowly turned into hiccups. Into sobs.

- Soon you were sobbing on this abandoned park bench, like some fool. Some lovestruck fool that had no one to love her back.

- You didn’t know how long you were there, not until a loud screeching noise hit your ears, causing you to blink at the bright lights in front of you.

- “Mc? Oh thank god, thank god.”

- Seven ran to you, pulling you off the bench and hugging you tight.

- “I was so scared, I was so fucking scared. Are you okay? Are you hurt-”

- You shook him off, shooting a bitter glare his way.

- “Why do you care?”

- You could see the life leave him. He instantly teared up, reaching for you.

- “God, mc, I do, I do, god i do please. Please please, please pleaseplease, don’t do this-”

- “What, push you away like you-”

- He pulled you into a sloppy, wet, kiss. His tears mingling with his inability to kiss properly.

- “I know I’m an asshole, I know I don’t deserve you. I just get so scared- I’m so gross, so disgusting, so stupid, Mc. And you’re so smart, so kind, so fucking calm. And I don’t deserve you, not in the slightest, but here you are,” He managed a weak, choked, laugh. “Finally realizing…”

- He held you close, refusing to let go, as he sobbed into your chest. “God, mc, please. Come home, lets talk, and then you can beat me within an inch of my life, but please god don’t leave me, don’t, not like this. Not like this, just any other way, not like this.”

- You put your stubbornness aside. Still angry, but longing some validation.

- The two of you settled in his car, awkwardly cuddling in the back seat in the abandoned parking lot, trying to calm down enough to drive.

- And in that time frame, you realized he was just as scared as you were. Once he heard your plans, he begged you to get help, he even promised he would come along to therapy, just anything so you didn’t harm yourself like you were thinking. He needed to know you were safe, and he would never forgive himself if he couldn’t stop you.

- But you knew for damn sure he wasn’t going to push you away anymore, not even if his mind told him to. You deserved more.

Saeran

- When he saw your recent search histories, he nearly broke down himself, recognizing a few of the searches as ones he used to look up himself.

- You, the wonderful woman who welcomed him with open arms. Despite those he hurt, despite him trying to hurt you. When you first saw him, you immediately hugged him so tightly, whispering on how thankful you were that he was alright.

- Something he would never forget.

- And here he was, reading the results you got for painless suicide methods. Once he saw one connected to your recent behavior, he shot out of his seat and sprinted to wherever you could be.

- When he found you, he was the one to break into sobs. He was so mad, so fucking mad, that he couldn’t stay composed, but he needed you, he needed you so bad.

- He fell to his knees, clinging onto your legs.

- “Mc, please god, please don’t do it, please for fucking gods sake don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me with an empty bed and guilt, god Mc I can’t take it, I can’t.”

- As soon as he started sobbing, you connected the pieces pretty quickly, and felt your own tears pour.

- You slowly met him on the floor, where he held you in a death-like grip, begging you without any shame.

- “Why, why, why? Why?”

- “I’m just. Worthless, Saera-”

- “Don’t you fucking even think that for one moment. I’ve killed people, mc, I’ve killed people worse than you, I’ve beaten people. God, Mc, I’m worse than you. If anything I’m the one more deserving to go rather than you.”

- He broke down again, ending up blubbering. “If you go I don’t know what I’d do. You’re the only thing keeping me sane, please god Mc, please don’t. Please. Please.”

- He just kept begging, and you started to wail.

- The two of you stayed on the floor just cuddling each other, unsure of what else to do. It took hours until the both of you could stop crying, until the both of you held hands so tightly and talked about the help for you to get.

- He would do anything, just anything, for his beautiful heaven like sky not to be taken away from him.

nurseydex royalty au
  • instead of being from Maine, Dex’s family is actually royalty from a small country just outside of America’s east coast with about a million citizens.
  • Dex is born Fitzwilliam Jacob Poindexter II after his mother’s father and is third to the throne after his mother and brother.
  • being the third in line comes with responsibilities much like his brother, but without all of the public recognition, and he has to go through the same kind of grueling education of political wits, charming diplomacy, and easy-going social skills.
  • Dex never did well with the latter. he knew how to talk about his passions and what interested him, how to talk with people he cared for and if they had something important to say. but he hated small talk, never understood why he had to stand around in a room full of people he wasn’t going to see again talking about the weather when he could literally be doing anything else.
  • but he managed, and his advisers all agreed he would make a fine king if tragedy would succumb his brother.
  • so Dex gets that the crown prince’s primary goal is to marry and somehow produce an heir who can further the republic.
  • which is why he politely waits until his brother’s engaged and well on his way of becoming the next regent before he tells his parents that he’s gay.

Keep reading

40 tips for incoming college freshmen
  1. “I’ll sign up for morning class because I tookclasses in the morning in high school.” NO DON’T DO THAT YOU’RE GOING TO WANTTO KILL YOURSELF
  2. If you can,try to spread your schedule so it’s 9-5. It’ll get you used to functioning atthose hours.
  3. Go to seminars. Pick up on some random shit. Impress people with random shit. But don’t be cocky.
  4. There’s literally no popularity so you really don’t have to fucking deal with cliques or anything just find your group and branch out and go from there.
  5. If you’re drinking:
    1. POUR YOUR OWN DRINK I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH
    2. Have a cup of water (or a bit of Gatorade) between every drink. You’ll never get a hangover.
    3. Don’t be fucking loud. Everyone hates the loud drunk and you’ll get the cops called on you and that’s bad shit.
    4. Don’t mix your liquor with other liquor and oh my God don’t mix it with anything else like drugs that’s just asking for a crisis.
    5. If your buddy is in a really bad place call 911. Don’t be that douchebag who thinks that someone can sleep it off.
  6. DO EXTRA CREDIT FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD NOT EVERY PROFESSOR OFFERS EXTRA CREDIT DO THE FUCKING EXTRA CREDIT.
  7. College is for expanding your mind. Talk to friends about their majors. Attend their events or art shows. Talk to someone you met about their religion. Take an English class on Lord of the Rings. Learn things you wouldn’t normally learn in high school.
  8. Love might come. It might not. Don’t worry about it and it won’t be a problem. You’re young.
  9. Don’t be the douchebag who plays acoustic guitar in the lounge.
  10. Have fun because you’re spending a fuckton of money to be there but do your homework.
  11. There’s a general rule of college that if you were sitting in that seat for over two weeks, that is your seat. Not many if any professors have seating arrangements but switching seats will fuck everyone up.
  12. Get there early and stay late. As soon as you get home you will not want to do shit. Stay on campus and do some homework while you’re in the environment.
  13. SIT UP FRONT. The best way to start understanding something is to listen to someone talk about it and you can’t do that from the back of the class trying to listen over everyone whispering to each other. LISTENING WILL MAKE HOMEWORK SO MUCH EASIER. 
  14. Be childish, but be respectful. Have a massive snowball fight across campus, but don’t aim for anyone not taking part. 
  15. SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THE LIBRARY. Some people work there, some people sleep there. It is a quiet space. 
  16. Don’t be afraid to talk to professors. They are not there to flunk you. They would rather you pass than not.
  17. IF YOU NEED TUTORING GET TUTORING DON’T WAIT UNTIL YOU’VE DUG YOURSELF INTO YOUR GRAVE.
  18. Get involved. It will help you make friends, give you new skills to learn, and even help you get a leg up in the work place if you know the right people.
  19. Take time for yourself—buy a planner, figure out when your best study hours are, figure out WHERE you study best, and figure out how much time you need to complete an assignment—AND THEN make sure to pencil in an hour for video games, some time to watch a TV show, or time to just lay on your floor and blow bubbles. Whatever you like. Don’t forget about YOU.
  20. SLEEP. EAT. DRINK WATER. Don’t die. Caffeine =/= sleep. I cannot emphasize that this much.
  21. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR INSTRUCTORS! If you’re sick, shoot an e-mail and say “Hey, I’m sick today. Can I set up a time to talk to you about what I missed?” If you’ve got a good opportunity (scholarships, to go to another country, to check out a cool lecture, etc.) let your prof know ahead of time. If you just need time to work on projects, all it takes is an e-mail. We understand. I gave a student a free skip day because he e-mailed me and said “Hey, look, I have two massive tests and a project due and I need the time to study.” And THAT IS OKAY
  22. Before signing up for classes, look on “ratemyprofessor.com" and see if the teachers at your campus are included. There may be two or more teachers for the same course, and you want to try and pick the good/easy one. Who your professor is can have a great affect on what grade you make, even for the “same” class. 
  23. Look for a facebook group for your “graduating class” set up, which is a good way to make friends and find people with similar interests (particularly for introverts). 
  24. Look for a facebook group for your “graduating class” set up, which is a good way to make friends and find people with similar interests (particularly for introverts). 
  25. If no one else does it, make a google doc of the exam reviews and post it on the class facebook page. That way everyone contributes to the review. 200 brains are most definitely better than 1. 
  26. During lectures, unless Internet is required, TURN IT OFF. If it’s on, you WILL end up on tumblr or some other site, and you will miss important shit. 
  27. For the love of God, pay attention to your syllabus. Sometimes assignments are listed there, and that’s the only place it’ll be mentioned. Also, if it says to do a reading by a specific date, DO THE READING BY THAT DATE. Otherwise you will get behind, and you will have 200+ pages of textbooks to read in one night before the test, and you will cry.
  28. Yes you actually need to do the readings. Yes it is a lot. Yes it will suck. Do it anyways. 
  29. If you are used to getting all A’s, do not cry when you get a B. Take it from someone who killed herself for two years to maintain a 4.0, it feels like the end of the world when your GPA drops, but it’s not. You’ll be okay. Just breathe and do your best. Your best is good enough.
  30. Try to make sure you leave an open hour around midday so that you have time to get food in you. A lot of people forget to do this. If you have to have back to back classes, check your syllabus or with your teacher—some midday classes allow you to bring in a drink and a snack. Some will even allow you a full meal.
  31. If you can get an online/pdf copy of the book without busting the bank, DO IT. Sometimes there are even annotated versions online. This can make notetaking a shitton easier, because you can highlight printed-out versions of the book and they won’t dock you on the money back. Sometimes professors move through their lecture too fast for you to write stuff down. Shrugging off that old ‘don’t ruin your books’ rule you had in high school may be your only hope.
  32. UNLESS YOU NEED THEM OR REALLY WANT TO KEEP THEM TRY TO SELL BACK YOUR BOOKS—maybe even offer them online to incoming students. You won’t get nearly the worth of them but someone after you will thank you a million times over for providing a used copy. If you take good notes, you can sometimes buy/sell those as well. A lot of professors teach literally the same class every time.
  33. IF YOUR PROFESSOR PUTS NOTES ONLINE GET THEM. GET THEM NOW. TRUST ME. YOU WANT THOSE NOTES. Bring them in with you if it’s possible to get them before class.
  34. Keep change on hand. Always.
  35. The Best Way To Make Friends:
    1. Bring a printer with you to college and offer to print people’s stuff for half of what the school does or for free if you can afford it.
    2. Carry around small candies with you and offer them to people while waiting outside of class. If you are the ‘candy person’ this gives you an in for starting conversations.
    3. Buy a jumbo pack of chalk and find an open sidewalk on a free day. Write the words ‘Come draw with me?’ and begin doodling.
    4. Have a pack of cards.
  36. If you go onto campus and you can’t find what you’re looking for, and you are afraid to go up to someone and ask, find an open, well-populated area, hold your schedule/map in hand, and walk in circles for a few minutes, looking up and around in obvious confusion. Other students know this body language well. Someone will stop and point you in the right direction. (if you are worried that the person’s directions are a joke or faulty, wait for them to leave and take up the stance again; if the directions match-up the second time, they’re legit; do not allow a person to ‘show you the way’ unless EVERY STEP is along an obvious walkway, just in case)
  37. For those of you who fear assault, most campuses aren’t much for small blades or mace. Carry a pocket air horn or a hand bag of those little pop-rock fireworks unless you can get a concealed weapons permit.
  38. Make friends with transfer kids. Chances are, they won’t be able to live in the dorms and it’ll be ten times harder for them to meet people since they have to drive to and from campus. It’s also fun hearing about their experiences before the college you both go to. 
  39. Make friends with an older student. I’m talking about students who have families and full-time jobs. You can learn a lot from them, and they honestly have the best stories. They’re often the smartest and the most dedicated, so they make great study buddies. 
  40. Your teachers are people! Joke around with them, talk to them a bit during break. Make sure they at least recognize you as “that dude with the god-awful puns during break”. In my experience, professors are even more willing to bend over backwards to help the students they know. (But also, in general? They want you to learn! If there’s a way they can easily help, there’s a really good possibility they’ll do it!

Just cleaned up this post ≧◡≦

Green-Blooded Matchmaker (Bones x Reader TrekFest 2017)

Originally posted by anastasiacoburg

Pairing: AOS Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy/Reader, featuring nosy!matchmaking!Spocko

Rating: PG for language because McCoy is a potty mouth doctor and drug mention

A/N: Guess who did some heavy tweaking to their unfinished Spock Week fic to create THIS beautiful mess. :) Also, dammit guys I am a writer not a doctor (nor a biochemist) so please excuse any technobabble/misattributed terms. (See also: Sara slips in a Hidden Figures reference because she deserves it.)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hello I am potato anon and I love your blog! How would the RFA and V and Saeran react to MC telling them that they're pregnant? It would also be funny if MC told them in a funny way, like putting a bun in the oven. Thanks and keep up the awesome work!!!

The calm before the sin….. or was it after? Oh, and keep tissues nearby just in case.

~Nao

RFA + V + Saeran react to MC announcing her pregnancy

Yoosung

  • You’d been trying for almost a year now
  • You’re both lowkey afraid that one of you might be infertile or what
  • You’ve visited specialists, but there’s nothing wrong with both of you when it came to fertility.
  • It’s just that… the embryo couldn’t hold on long enough to develop
  • So you undergo a special treatment to prevent miscarriages.
  • The pregnancy test comes out positive one day.
  • However, you wanted to make sure that it holds, so you wait a few more weeks before officially breaking the news to him.
  • “Yoosung, do you think I look pregnant in this?”
  • “Of course not, MC, and even if you do get f—–can you repeat that?”
  • “I said, do I look pregnant in this?”
  • WHAT
  • You almost gave the poor boy a heart attack
  • Envelopes you in a tight embrace and bawls incessantly for a few minutes
  • Both of you waited so long for this, you couldn’t help but cry with him
  • See MC, I’m not a baby. I was able to make one with you

ZEN / Hyun Ryu

  • You weren’t really sure how to bring the subject up to him when you found out.
  • He was busy with his projects and you wanted to support him with all you had.
  • Will the baby get in the way?
  • You’ve been together for a while now, but you never talked about having kids.
  • The opportunity arrived when you were both lazily spending your day off cuddling on the couch one day
  • So you try for subtle and see where it takes you.
  • “Zen, can you read the thermometer for me? I’m feeling a little warm.”
  • “Of course, babe” 
  • Absently takes the “thermometer” from you.
  • It takes him a while to realize that he’s looking at a pregnancy test strip.
  • Is SPEECHLESS when it finally sinks in
  • “Z-zen? Are– are you alright?” you worriedly ask
  • He turns to you, eyes shining and hopeful, “Really?”
  • “Yes.”
  • Is so excited, he tackles you into a hug Zencontrolthebeast
  • Quickly backs away when he remembers your condition
  • “I’m sorry, MC, I’m just so happy!”
  • You chuckle as he moves close to your abdomen and whispers, “you’re going to be the most gorgeous potato baby ever, I’m sure of it. Daddy loves you, okay?”
  • His popularity just rose up to 1000% when he wore a “call me daddy” shirt to an interview 
  • As if it weren’t bad enough with his narcissism, will spam the chat room with monthly updates

Jaehee

  • You were both busy at the cafe so it took a while before you both decided that you were ready for kids
  • Was afraid that either one of you might lose the other if there were complications during or after childbirth
  • You finally convince her after attending numerous lectures on family planning and in-vitro fertilization
  • However, being a same sex couple, it was hard to find a willing and qualified sperm donor
  • Even Zen volunteered to donate his seed
  • But not in the fun way, no
  • You were considering the sperm bank, while Jaehee was considering adoption
  • You received a call from the facility one day, saying that one of your candidates’ sperm was healthy enough
  • So you both have your eggs harvested and fertilized in a lab
  • The procedures took time, but the waiting was longer.
  • You tried to surprise her one day by eating the test dessert with “special” spoons
  • You were discreetly watching her when she seemed like she was thinking during her fifth bite
  • Thought it was odd that the spoon had grooves on it.
  • Were spoons supposed to be like that?
  • So she takes it out of her mouth and examines it.
  • Engraved on the silverware were the words “we’re expecting”, with little feet decorating the end of the text
  • “How… how many?”
  • “Three”
  • The spoon falls out from her grasp and she covers her face, crying
  • But they were tears of joy
  • You go over and hug her, and you stay like that for a couple of minutes

Jumin

  • Came home to find you decorating the dinner table
  • ???? 
  • Was there a special occasion? Assistant Kang never mentioned anything
  • “Jumin, you’re right on time!” you approach him and welcome him home with a kiss
  • “Are we celebrating something?” he asks, confusion written all over his face
  • He’s probably thinking of ways to make it up to you in just in case
  • “Jumin, stop thinking, and just take a seat, okay?”
  • Noticed that the plating wasn’t as professional as the ones you regularly had
  • “The food presentation isn’t as extravagant as they should have been, I must contact the chef about this”
  • You stop him in time and explain that you insisted on personally preparing and cooking the food 
  • Apologizes to you, but then he notices that there’s no wine to go with the steak
  • “Oh, I left it chilling by the counter; I should go and get it.”
  • “No MC, stay there and I’ll get it,” he says, and makes his way to the kitchen
  • “While you’re at it dear, can you also check on the oven? I was baking earlier,” you call out to him
  • You wait expectantly as he moves around the kitchen
  • He comes out dazed, holding the wine with a special label that says “baby arriving on [due date], so drink for the two of us?” on one hand and a plated bun with a black and white photo on the other.
  • “Dear, what is the meaning of this?” he demands
  • “It’s what you think it is, love”
  • ……………
  • Couldn’t contain his joy at your admission, and pulls you in for a deep kiss
  • Vowed to be the best father to his children
  • Finds the best ob-gyne to take care of your needs 

707 / Saeyoung

  • Rushed you to the E.R. one day when you couldn’t stop retching.
  • He thought you were food poisoned
  • MC I told you to stop eating my chips when are you going to listen
  • But it turns out you were pregnant.
  • Can you imagine how excited this bean is
  • Reads books like “what to expect when you’re expecting”, and “Dude, you’re gonna be a dad!”
  • Oh, and did I mention that he had you attend a birthing class too?
  • Buys every imaginable baby item he finds
  • Saeyoung we aren’t putting up a store, stahp
  • Was sulking when you strongly refused to take him along for your ultrasound
  • Is confused when you hand him a box instead of an envelope when you return.
  • Opens it to find…peanuts?
  • Notices how all the peanut pods come in twos
  • Takes out all the peanuts from the box and finds an ultrasound photo at the bottom
  • His eyes bug out as he looks at it and reads the note
  • “TWINS???”
  • He couldn’t be even happier than he was at that moment.
  • His wish was finally coming true — he was going to have a family, and he sure as hell would do his damn best to make it a happy one.

Saeran

  • Freaked out when he found a small, plastic baby in his cake pop one day
  • “MC, are you trying to make me choke? Why is this on the cake?” he demands, storming into the room
  • Finds you in the middle of setting up a crib with Saeyoung
  • “What… what’s all this? MC? Saeyoung?” he says in a panicky voice
  • uh-oh
  • You decide to use caution, and approach him carefully.
  • “Saeran, I think it would be best if we talk first, okay? Would you like to take a seat?” you suggest in a calm, soothing voice
  • He takes a seat, but you and Saeyoung both notice how his breathing has started to become shallow and rapid, signalling the start of a panic attack
  • You both take a seat on either side of him
  • Saeyoung instructs his brother to take deep breaths while you hold onto one of his hands to show your support
  • “Saeran, breathe, okay? And hold for 1…2…3… yes, yes, you’re doing fine….”
  • Saeyoung leaves the two of you when Saeran had finally calmed down, letting you discuss it with his brother privately.
  • “Why…. why didn’t you just tell me?” he asks, his expression pained.
  • “I….I don’t think I’m ready for this, MC. I might be okay now, but what about tomorrow? Or the day after that? You know my childhood was one of the worst, right? And then there was my stay with Rika and Mint Eye… I need more time to think about this.”
  • Your heart breaks a little at his admission, and more so when he leaves the room, not wanting you to follow him.
  • You tell his brother about what happened, and he tries for optimistic and advises you to observe first, that maybe Saeran was still warming to the idea
  • However, he avoids you for the days that followed; the air around the two of you especially awkward when you’re in the same room
  • Finally fed up with seeing you both suffer, Saeyoung declares that he was going for a drive with Saeran, and yanks him forcefully to the garage
  • During their absence, you think about just giving up the baby if he were still against it after the talk with his brother even if you knew that it would hurt you the most
  • He returns alone after an hour, plopping beside you on the couch. “So… MC…” he starts
  • “Saeran, I think… maybe I’ll give up on the baby if you’re really uncomfortable with it,” you say in one breath, trying to keep the tears at bay
  • “What? MC, no, I….” he sees the tears finally flowing uncontrollably from your eyes, and he embraces you. 
  • “We’re keeping the baby, MC. I’m still not sure if I could be a good parent, but after my talk with hyung, I… “ he releases you and wipes a stray tear from your cheek. ”I decided to give it a try, if you’re willing to work together with me and my issues.” 

V / Jihyun

  • “MC, I don’t understand why we have to hire a photographer. I AM a photographer, you know”
  • You found out that you were pregnant for 12 weeks, and you wanted to catch his expression when you finally told him about it.
  • So you convinced him that you needed to hire a photographer for a special set of photos
  • He wasn’t new to these quirks of yours, you wanting to capture moments where you’re together, and him giving in even if he only wanted to take pictures of you.
  • He arranges for Rui, his friend, to do the photoset.
  • You insisted on making the other preparations, and you all drive to a spot with a nice lake view
  • You gave him an A3-sized white bristol board and a black marker
  • “Write something that you love about me, V. But just one. And you have to do it facing the other way, so I can write mine.”
  • “Just one? But MC….” he stops when you give him “the look” and accepts the materials without a word.
  • With Rui taking pictures of the whole affair, you write “You’re going to be a Dad!” in big, block letters.
  • You both turn at the count of three to show what each had written, 
  • V drops his card when he reads yours
  • His expression is a mix of surprise and joy, and… something else.
  • You immediately understand where his thoughts were going, and threw the card to approach him.
  • He wasn’t crying, but you run soothing circles around his back anyway.
  • “I’m sorry, MC, I just remembered…” he said brokenly, trying to rein in his feelings.
  • This causes him to sit down on the ground, the announcement and his thoughts suddenly weighing down on him.
  • You kneel in front of him and take his face in both of your hands. “I know, V. I can’t and won’t stop you from loving her, but remember that the baby and I will still love you no matter what happens.” 
  • He looks up at you, the pain and unshed tears showing in his eyes. 
  • “Thank you, MC” he says, and leans into your touch.
  • Needless to say, V kept that emotional photoset close to his heart.
Playing dirty / Chapter 2

Originally posted by adoringdo

Pairing: You / Xiumin / Baekhyun

Type: Smut, explicit language, illegal gambling

Word count: 3,3K

Summary: One night you met Xiumin in an illegal casino and he made you an offer you couldn’t refuse: help him win by cheating and get part of the profit. But one day someone comes in and tests your partnership and relationship. Will you stick with Xiumin? Or will Baekhyun steal you away?

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3


“I like that smile. You should smile more, it makes you even more beautiful,” he got closer to you.

He stood there for a minute studying you, eyes getting darker. “I’ll tell you what, you can have all of your money back.”

“Really?” a tone mixed with relief and excitment in your voice.

“Yes. But you have to stay at my house for a week,” he smirked.

“What?”


You stood there with your eyes wide open, not wanting to believe the words that just came out of his mouth.

“You heard me,” he got closer to you and held your chin up with his right hand. “I give you your money back, and in exchange, you keep me company for a week.”

“Who the hell do you think I am?!” You grabbed his arm, freeing your chin. “You think I’m just going to sleep with you to get my money back?”

“Woah, calm down! I just thought you were an interesting girl and I wanted to spend a week with you, nothing more.”

“Well, sorry to ruin your plans, but I have a boyfriend.”

“You mean that guy that just left you crying in this parking lot?”

“Y-yes,” you hesitated.

“You don’t seem so sure,” a grin spread all over his face.

“Well, that’s none of your damn business!” 

“You’re right. It’s not. But it seems to me that the reason he’s mad at you is because of the money you lost to me,” he placed a hand on your arm. “And I’m giving you a chance to solve that.”

You let your eyes wander around looking at anything but his face, while you weighed in your options. You really wanted to get that money back for Xiumin. You wanted to make everything right again. You wanted him to forgive you. But you didn’t know if you could trust this Baekhyun guy. Your inner voice was telling you he was not dangerous, but that voice had already failed you once when it came to him.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I just want to get to know you. I promise,” he reached for you chin once more to make you look at his soothing eyes.

“Fine. But if you even think about hurting me, I promise I’ll kill you,” you threatened.

“Feisty. I like it,” he smirked and recieved a punch in the arm in return. “Ouch! I was just joking,” he said while rubbing his arm up and down on the place where he got hit.

“Don’t do it again.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it sometimes,” he stuck his tongue out in a playful gesture. “By the way, what’s your name?”

“Y/N”

“Y/N. I liked it! I’m Byun Baekhyun,” he smiled at you.

You smiled at him. You didn’t want to aknowledge that you knew who he was for fear he would tease you about it.

“So Y/N, shall we go?”

“Yes.”

When you arrived at his house your jaw dropped so low you thought it might hit the ground. You knew he must’ve had a lot of money with the amount of luck he has, but this?

His house looked like one of those celebrity mansions you always saw on TV. When you entered through his huge gate your eyes were met by a beautiful fountain surrounded by cobblestone ground. Just behind the fountain was the entrance, with two pillars supporting a balcony above the main door.

After you went in, Baekhyun showed you to the room you would stay in, it was very modern. It had a dark wooden floor and a huge cream carpet under the bed. You had an amazing view of the pool and the garden thanks to the huge sliding glass door that led to another balcony. There was also a bathroom in your room with a big ass tub, which you already planned to use later.

You dropped the bag full of stuff you picked up from your house before coming here on the floor and threw yourself on the bed. This might not be so bad after all.

“Well, I’ll let you get accomodated and rest. See you tomorrow,” he winked at you before turning his back to you and closing the door.

Before you went to try out the tub you decided to call Xiumin so you could tell him that you were getting the money back and that everything was going to be alright.

You gave up after the third try, him not picking up. Fine. You want to be that way, then be that way. You went to take a bath in the tub and quickly fell asleep on the bed.

When you woke up you showered and got dressed and went to the kitchen looking for something to eat. As you came closer to the kitchen you started to feel the smell of pancakes, your mouth watering.

When you entered the kitchen your eyes doubled in size at the sight. Baekhyun was the one making the pancakes, but he was only wearing some loose boxer shorts and nothing else.

“What are you doing?” you said as your eyes fixated on his toned back.

“Good morning! Do you want some pancakes?”

He turned around and your heart almost stopped. Your couldn’t help but to admire his defined abs and chest, and to make everything worse he had that sexy morning bed hair. You had to admit that he was a really good looking guy.

“Like what you see?” He smirked.

You blushed and quickly looked away. “Just shut up and go put on a shirt.”

He got dangerously close to you. “Did I ever tell you that I like bossy girls? It’s just much more pleasurable to break their persona and watch them beg in the bedroom,” he smirked.

Your cheeks were tinted with a shade of pink, eyes wide open. You were so flustered that, if somebody asked, you couldn’t even answer a simple question like ‘what’s 1+1?’. 

He chuckled due to your nonresponsiveness. “I’m going to change. You can eat my pancakes, I’ll make more,” he winked before turning his back and leaving.

After he left you felt your stomach protest with hunger, so you sat down and started eating Baekhyun’s pancakes. They were actually pretty good.

You picked up your phone and stared at it. Xiumin hadn’t called you or sent you any text messages since last night. You went to recent calls and tapped on his contact. The phone rang and rang, but he didn’t answer. You were starting to get worried, had something happen to him?

“He’s still not talking to you?” Baekhyun was now standing behind you, wearing some ripped jeans and a white t-shirt, hair wet from a quick shower.

“It’s none of your business,” you said taking the last bite from the pancakes Baekhyun made.

“It is when he’s treating a girl like you this way.”

“A girl like me? I’m nothing special. I live off of illegal gambling, and the worst part is that I like it. I’m not doing it out of necessity or despair, it fulfills me, gives me a thrill. I’m scum, this is the kind of treatment I deserve. So just let me be, I can take care of myself.”

“Hey,” Baekhyun was now sitting next to you, hand on your shoulder, “No one is perfect. Hell, I’m tainted as fuck. But if I was with a girl that I loved you could be damn sure I would give everything not to see her drop one single tear.”

You both stared at each other for a while, tension building with each second. Each heartbeat pumping harder and louder, heat radiating from your bodies.

“I’ve got to go,” you quickly got up and went to your room, laying on your bed.

Who the hell are you and why are you doing this to me Byun Baekhyun?

The rest of the day passed quickly. Xiumin kept ignoring your calls, and you and Baekhyun barely talked throughout the day, keeping the conversation only to the essentials.


“Can you tell me where are we going? I’m starting to think you’re taking me to the middle of nowhere so you can murder me and dispose of my body”

Baekhyun woke you up early in the morning, saying he wanted to take you somewhere. You threw a pillow at him screaming for him to let you sleep, but he was as excited as puppy to take you on this journey, so you slowly got up, took a shower, ate something and went with him to the car.

“Don’t worry, I plan to kill you quickly. You’re great and all, but I regretted saying I would give you your money back, so you see, this is the only way out.”

“Very funny. Tell me where are we going.” You said while pinching his arm.

“OUCH! We are going skydiving! Can you please stop now?”

“You’re kidding me. I’ve always wanted to do that! How did you know?” You couldn’t control your excitement.

“Yesterday you said illegal gambling gave you a thrill, so I just put two and two together and thought maybe you would like to go skydiving.” He smiled at you.

“Byun Baekhyun,” you put your hand on his right arm. “I know we barely know each other, but you are now my favourite person ever.”

“Really?” The corners of his mouth lifted, giving him the birghtest smile ever. “I’m honored.”


When you were up there in the plane ready to jump you admit that you felt a little nervous. Looking down at the ground from far up in the sky makes you see things in a different way, it makes you feel so little, so unimportant.

You were going to be the first one to jump and Baekhyun would be the second. As you sat there at the edge of the plane you looked back at Baekhyun, him giving you a reassuring smile. And then before you knew it, the man who would jump with you let you both go.

All you could feel was the adrenaline charging through you, letting your mind and body go. There are no problems up there, no bills, no jobs, no fights with lovers  – just you and the sky. And before you knew it, it was over. You were back to the ground and back to real life.

You waited for Baekhyun to jump, watching him slowly turn from a small dot in the sky to a normal sized human as he landed on the ground.

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! That was fucking amazing!” He said, adrenaline still pumping through him.

“Right? I feel like everything from now on is going to be boring compared to this,” you said as you reached closer to him.

“I have the perfect solution: we come back every week!” he said, his eyes full of excitement. “No. Every day!”

“Calm down Baek,” you laughed at his sillyness. “Don’t you think that’s a little much?”

“Already giving me pet names?” his expression darkened really fast, “I like it.” His face came close to yours, making you blush.

“I-” you avoided eye contact, not knowing what to say. “I think it’s time for us to go home now.” You said trying to get away.


The ride back home was quiet and awkward. You didn’t know how you were growing to like this guy who took your money so quickly, but you were. You felt you could trust him, and that made you angry. Angry because you were letting your guard down for another man when you have Xiumin. 

While laying on your bed, your mind kept running back to Xiumin. Was what you did that bad that he would ignore your calls and texts for days?

You decided to call him again, and as expected you got no answer. Maybe I wasn’t that important to him. Maybe it was just sex and an easy way to make money. Maybe I was expendable, and after I messed up and lost our money that partnership was over.

You decided to go to the pool for a midnight swim. You were tired of spending time thinking about him when he clearly didn’t give a fuck about you or your feelings.

When you reached the garden your ears were met with a beautiful singing voice – It was Baekhyun.

“Don’t lose this moment
We’re going crazy, my lucky lady
This day will be remembered once again
I’m thirsty even now, there’s still so much to give you
I don’t need no money, I just need you
I want you so bad
Lipstick, Chateau, wine color
White champagne, shower with bubbles
It might only be once in my life
My pressed down instincts are popping up
What to do, I just hit the lotto”

“I didn’t know you could sing.” You said while sitting down next to him at the edge of the pool.

“Yeah, I actually always wanted to be a singer as a little kid, but my parents had other plans for me. You know, family business and all.”

“Must be a very large business, for you to have this huge ass mansion.”

“My father runs a lot of illegal establishments, the main one being The Big Royal Flush.”

“Holy shit, are you serious?”

“Yes. He made me spend most of my time there so I could understand the business and learn how to deal with the type of people that go there. Eventually I started playing poker and became quite good. Father liked that because people would lose to me, and if the clients lost, the casino would win, and more importantly, he would win.”

“Did-did you ever cheat?” You managed to release the words that were stuck in your mouth.

“Nah…I never felt the need to do it. And you?” he looked at you, as if sensing something was wrong.

“Uh…yeah. Me and Xiumin, the guy who left me in the parking lot, we used to cheat together and then we would share the profit, but then I lost our money to you and…well, you know the rest.” You looked at your feet splashing in the pool.

“Pff, I always knew he was a fucking idiot.”

“Wait. You know him?” You looked back at him.

“Yeah, I’ve seen him around. He would always bring a new girl to flash around everytime he went to the casino.”

“Oh…” Your expression dropped, doubt feeling every corner of your head. Maybe you were just a temporary thing to flash around like those girls. And that’s when you remembered that the night you had your three month anniversary dinner and he recieved that call. “What do you want? I told you not to call me tonight, I’m busy with work.” Maybe it was her, your replacement. Maybe that’s why he lied and said he was working.

“Hey,” his long fingers reached for your chin, making you look directly at him. “I’m sure he didn’t use you. You’re so much more than those girls could ever hope to be.” His gaze was burning into yours, mouth moving closer.

“I-I think I need to take a dip in the pool.”

You quickly got up, removed your clothes, leaving just your underwear, and graciously entered the pool. It felt good to be submerged in the cold water, but it did nothing to calm the heat radiating from your body, your mind racing like crazy.

After your head came back to the surface you felt a big splash of water –  Baekhyun had just jumped in the pool, and was now standing right behind you, bodies touching. How was it possible that both of your bodies could still produce so much heat while being surrounded by the cold water?

“How can you look even more beautiful under the moonlight?” Baekhyun whispered in your ear.

“Baekhyun…” All your body was filled with electricity, and when he slowly started to kiss your neck you gave in. You turned around and met his sweet lips with yours.

The kiss started off slow and sweet, as if your lips were getting the time to get to know each other. As the intensity started to rise Baekhyun backed you to the corner of the pool, eventually swirling his tongue around yours.

As he started to kiss your neck again you circled your legs around his hips, signaling him that you wanted more. He reached for your back and unclasped your bra, throwing it over to the grass around the pool. His eyes scanned through your whole body, backed into a corner and wrapped around him, need flowing from your every pore.

“Fuck. I guess I really am a lucky guy.” He bit his bottom lip to try and control himself, but he just couldn’t. His mouth attacked your breast focusing on the nipple, while his hands grabbed your ass.

“Baek..” You moaned.

Your pussy slowly started to grind against his dick as a response to his teeth tugging at your nipple. Your hand slowly reached for his boner under his boxer shorts and started to rub him up and down.

“Fuck. You drive me fucking crazy Y/N.”

He was looking at you with such intensity that you thought he was looking right at your mind and reading your thoughts. As your hand kept pumping his dick, his hands reached for your panties and pulled them down your legs, forcing them to unclasp from his hips.

As soon as your underwear was thrown to the other side of the pool, your legs went back to surrounding his hips, your pussy directly grinding on him, skin to skin. He went back to kissing you, while thrusting his pelvis forwards, his dick rubbing on your clit. 

“I want you now Baek,” you begged, half moaning.

He quickly answered to your request and inserted himself inside of you. Both of you had your arms around the other, his were at your waist and yours were around his neck. You stood like that just breathing and looking at each other while waiting for you to adjust to his size.

When you felt you were ready you went back to kissing his lips, telling him he could move. Like the kiss, it started off slow, but it soon built to something more.

“You feel so good Y/N,” he said in your ear, bitting your earlobe.

The rhythm started to accelerate and you felt your orgasm starting to build up inside of you, your walls clenching tighter around him.

“Don’t fucking stop,” and as soon as those words left your mouth you felt that overwhelming sensation running through your core, Baekhyun reaching his high right after.

After a while of just staring at each other forehead to forehead Baekhyun gave you a quick peck on the lips. 

“Sleep with me tonight,” he smiled while putting a piece of hair behind your ear. “I want to cuddle with you.”

“Who would’ve thought that the son of a man with multiple illegal businesses likes to cuddle,” you smiled, teasing him.

“Shut up and cuddle me.” He quickly grabbed you and snuggled against you.

After that, Baekhyun carried you bridal style to his room, dropping you in his shower where you went for round two.

When you left the shower you went back to your room to get some clothes to wear to bed. Baekhyun offered his boxer shorts and a t-shirt for you to sleep in but you insisted on getting your pajamas. 

As you picked your underwear from your drawer your phone started to ring. Who could it be this late? You picked up your phone and looked at the caller ID – it was an unknown number.

“Hello? Who’s this?”

“Y/N? It’s me.”

Your body froze. “Xiumin?”

“Yes baby, I need your help.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you keep ignoring my calls? And why are you calling me from an unknown number?”

“Baby I’m so sorry, but I was kidnapped.”

“WHAT? Oh my god are you alright? Why did they kidnap you?” You were shaking, voice filled with worry.

“My father owed some money and so they kidnapped me. I managed to escape but they might come after me, you need to help me.”

“Who’s coming after you?”

“Baekhyun. My father owed money to his father, and when he saw me at The Big Royal Flush he sent his men after me.”

Your body froze in horror. No. It can’t be.


A/N: Hey guys! So after much request here it is: the second chapter of ‘Playing Dirty’. I hope you guys like it as much as you did the first chapter!

Love Ana,  💜

Comatose-Chapter 1



Summary: You are the sister of Charles Xavier, You are part of the Avengers and Dating Bucky Barnes, Unbeknownst to you Bucky is having an affair with Natasha, you catch them in the act and things go downhill from there. You are a Mutant with Similar powers to Jean, Only with Immortality thrown in. 

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Bucky X Natasha, Logan Howlett X Reader

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Cheating, Feelings of worthlessness, Depression.


Originally posted by oreo-wonderbatch


The mission had drained you; Covered in bruises and dried blood, there had been too many agents and you cursed your lack of backup;You were sorely outgunned,but you had gotten the intel that you needed., It wasn’t uncommon for you to be sent on solo missions, your powers and skill set affording you the privilege of never really being the underdog, so while it was sometimes tricky, you usually came out on top.

Stepping out of the quinjet and into the hanger,you hurriedly make your way toward your shared bedroom with Bucky, relishing the thought of a hot shower and a night in his arms.,You missed him terribly while you were away., Things had been strange, distant between you of late,Your sex life had dwindled down to zero. He had refused to talk to you about it, and you were genuinely worried about the state of your relationship with the super soldier. Chalking it up to, too many missions and not enough quality time, you swallow your fears and with renewed vigour, strode through the compound looking for the man you love.

Nearing your bedroom, you can hear soft moans filtering through the door. You stop, listening intently,straining your already taxed senses. “Bucky,” you hear Natasha gasp, and your hand flies to your mouth; eyes wide with shock. As you gently open the door, fighting down the rise of bile in your throat, you can see Bucky moving languidly on top of Natasha, hand wrapped around her throat, her back arching off the bed, as he fucks her in a way he hadn’t with you in a very long time. Red hot flaring anger replaces the horror in your chest.

“Having fun?” you say loud enough for them both to hear. Bucky’s movements stop almost instantly, his head whipping around to stare at you with mouth agape. Natasha pales, lips opening and closing, searching, apparently, for a way to justify betraying her best friend.

“(y/n)” Bucky says as he pulls out, both of them scrambling for clothing. “I can explain,” he starts.

“Oh spare me the ‘I can explain’ bullshit, Barnes!” you spit, eyes blazing red with power. He flinches visibly at the use of his last name. “I do not want to hear your flimsy excuses. Just get your shit out of my room and leave. Both of you. Now!” You turn to leave, desperately needing to get out, get away from him. From her. From this place. From the people you have given up everything for.

“Wait!” Bucky yells as he catches up with you, grabbing you by the arm. He spins you around, and you try yanking your arm away, shoving at his chest to dislodge him. “Listen,” he hisses, grabbing your free wrist with his metal hand, effectively cutting off your assault. “I’m sorry, it just happened,” he states weakly.

“It just happened,” you echo duly. “How did screwing my best friend just happen, James?” Your anger is mounting, overtaking the pain in your chest by miles, but he doesn’t seem to recognise the danger because he forges on.

“She was there when we started drifting apart. She always had a way of pulling me back from the edge. I just… I need her,” he sighs. “Please understand. I love ya, doll, I do, but Natalia…”

You’re dumbstruck. Feelings of worthlessness worm themselves into your mind, testing your already fragile control, and he seems completely oblivious to your internal struggle.

“I think I’m in love with her…But i’m still in love with you too. Please… I just… I made a mistake,” he says, rather uncertainly.

“Then let me make it easy on you, Barnes,” you sneer as you unleash your power, divesting yourself of his hold. “If you ever put your hands on me again, I will kill you,” you state simply as you advance toward him. Held up by your power, Bucky is flailing in mid-air. “If you ever look at me again, I will cut out your eyes and feed them too Natasha,” you say as you slam him against the wall. “If you ever say my name again I will cut out your tongue and leave it for Steve to find,” you forge on as tears spring unbidden to your eyes, trying frantically to regain control of yourself. “I loved you, gave you everything I could, James, and you ripped it all away from me. Everything I held dear with no thought of what it would do to me,” you whisper as you release him, and watch while he falls heavily to the floor. You turn to leave, seeking any reprieve from the hell you seem to have walked into, only to see Natasha standing in the doorway looking pale and strained.

Ignoring her completely, you focus a final time on Barnes and murmur, “Maybe you are the monster you think you are, James.” It’s the last thing you say before you climb onto the elevator, listening as he breaks down on the carpeted floor.

The elevator ride is the longest you had ever endured, and you pray that you can make it to Tony’s lab without turning into a sobbing mess. You are barely keeping tumultuous control of your emotions, fighting your very nature, your very urge to cry, to sob, to scream. But you can’t. Not yet.

When the elevator doors pings open, you step unsteadily out, and make a beeline for the billionaire’s lab. Barely able to pay attention to your surroundings, you ignore the calls of your name from fellow agents, desperate to get to Tony. You need to get out of here, and soon, before you breakdown.

Throwing open the door to Tony’s lab, you call out gently, receiving an affirmative response, followed quickly by the man himself. “What’s up, sugar?” he asks.

“I need a few days,” you reply.

He quirks an eyebrow. “A few days for what?”

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “T, I really can’t explain right now,” you say, heaving in a breath. “I need you to let me do this, please,” you beg, while he eyes you warily.

“What does the tin can have to say? Is he going with you?”

You hiss at him, “No, he will be staying right fucking here, far away from me.” Tony has the good sense not to question you further, agreeing to give you three days off, but only if you check in once a day. You agree without hesitation and finally take your leave of the compound, making your way to the apartment you keep in the city.

Fifteen minutes later, you step into your apartment, stripping off the combat suit you’re still wearing. As you head for the shower, you pay no mind to the framed photos of you and Bucky that seem to shatter as you pass, until you can finally let the hot water cascade over you. Letting the bottled up emotion spill over, you scream desperately at nothing, praying for some sort of reprieve from the pain that’s coursing through you.

How could he? How could he do this to me? Sobs racking your frame, you slide down to the floor, curling yourself into a ball beneath the spray. Why wasn’t i good enough? What’s wrong with me?

Self-hatred prevalent in your mind, you cry for what feels like hours before you finally find the energy to pick yourself up, dry yourself off and climb into bed, hoping that when you wake, this would all just have been a bad dream, and Bucky would still be here with you.  

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