i keep finding myself more and more appreciative of living so close to la

9

they/them/theirs pronouns. do not delete caption

art by rommy torrico, rommytorrico.com

haven’t had the opportunity to post up the final tidbit of my series for womxn’s story, past present and future, month. i would have loved to have made the portraits of all the 31 individuals i wanted to, but alas, birthday trips consume a bit more time than i had imagined. anyway, here you are. 

Ty Underwood: I’m too proud of myself, I have everything i need and want, i enjoy every minute of this wonderful life of mines.- Ty Underwood. Fallen sister, I honor you and the all of the fallen sisters of color that have been taken from us or have left us. You are all so amazing, powerful, beautiful. We will celebrate you and fight fiercely to protect trans, gender non conforming and queer of color lives and destroy transmisogyny. I love you and I will remember you. Rest in power and radiance, #TyUnderwood

Radical Brownies: The Radical Brownies create opportunities for young girls of color to form fierce sisterhood, celebrate their cultures and contribute radically to their communities.- Radical Brownies. Perhaps it’s safe to say that we are all a little jealous that we didn’t have a #RadicalBrownies troop when we were growing up. I’m all about these young little folks and the founders of @radicalbrownies . Any space that nurtures growth, love and social consciousness all while staying deeply rooted to the community is where it’s at. This is their mission statement: “The Radical Brownies empower young girls of color so that they step into their collective power, brilliance and leadership in order to make the world a more radical place.” How beautiful is that? I wonder if they’re thinking of opening up a chapter for folks between the ages of 18-55… I know a lot of individuals within that age group that would benefit from having a space like this.

If you don’t follow the Radical Brownies on social media, you should. Find them on FB: Radical Brownies and on IG. Consider donating to this amazing bunch, while you’re at it. Much love, strength and protection to you, young Brownies. This little brown, trans, undocuqueer is proud of you  keep rocking on

Assata Shakur: We need a r/evolution of the mind. We need a r/evolution of the heart. We need a r/evolution of the spirit. The power of the people is stronger than any weapon. A people’s r/evolution can’t be stopped. - Assata Shakur. Truth is that there are no words to describe the magnificence, wisdom, love and power that this womxn possesses. I’m not even going to try. I will humbly just be an eternal student of hers. Unconditional gratitude for your existence, #Assata

Frida Kahlo: Soy mi propia musa. Soy la persona que mejor conozco. Soy la persona que quiero mejorar.- #FridaKahlo. I think I missed Frida Friday…

bell hooks: The rage of the oppressed is never the same as the rage of the privileged. One group can change their lot only be changing the system; the other hopes to be rewarded within the system.- bell hooks. You have been so important and so essential to my growth, bell. You’ve nourished me and helped me blossom in ways I never expected. I’m still learning from you which reminds me that my potential for growth is limitless. If only I could own all your books. Eternal gratitude, #bellHooks

Carla Morrison: No le pidas tiempo al tiempo, yo no voy a estar siempre aquí.- Carla Morrison. I really appreciate la Carla. The older I get, the more I realize that mi vida amorosa is basically all of her songs. Vulnerability and feelings are some of the most magical things- wish more folks opened themselves up for that. Typical water sign ramblings.

Antonia Castañeda: Who are these children who speak in tongues and live in fire?- #AntoniaCastañeda. I’m a good bit behind on my power-up portrait series, I know I know. BUT we’re back and today is Antonia’s day. We talk about decolonizing as a process and I’ll admit that Antonia JUST appeared in my process of decolonizing. I didn’t know much of anything regarding her or her work until this weekend… but now that I know you, Antonia, and all the work that you’ve done, trust that I will be an avid student of yours. I was able to be part of a celebration that honored her and the amount of people she’s touched with her wisdom and warmth is astounding. San(ta) Antonia. This mujer is such a badass Chicana historian, writer and activist. Born in Texas and daughter of farmworkers, she’s worked closely with organizations within her community and is constantly advocating for an intersectional approach to race, class, gender ad sexuality when it comes to history and politics. She’s published several works which focus on gender, sexuality, and women of color in California and the Borderlands from the 16th century to the present.

I’ll leave y'all with this tidbit from her work, Language and Other Lethal Weapons: Cultural Politics and the Rites of children as Translators of Culture
“If we are to decolonize national myths, surely we must understand how different people have lived the american myths: the historical myths about inventing America that refer to invasion as discovery and the ideological myths that sustain US imperialism, genocide, racialism, and economic exploitation and have done so since the founding of this nation. These myths, and the attitudes they foster, are intrinsic to the political, economic, social, and cultural values of the United States and are the toxic particles that we ingest with every breath.” BOOM.

Rinelle Harper: I ask that everyone here remembers a few simple words: love, kindness, respect and forgiveness. As a survivor, I respectfully challenge you all to call for a national inquiry into missing and murdered Indigenous women.- #RinelleHarper. This is what power looks like. My heart beats for this girl. Rinelle, a teen from Garden Hill First Nation in Manitoba, Canada, was attacked in November of last year. She was beaten and sexually assaulted by two men, thrown into the Assiniboine River, where she managed to get out but was again met by the same men, who continued to beat her. After being left for dead at the banks, she still managed to survive. She was able to make a full physical recovery, and in December she spoke at a gathering of over a hundred chiefs, where she specifically called for a national inquiry into the violence toward indigenous women and girls that have resulted in them missing or being found dead. We need to protect indigenous women at all costs. All my love is radiating to you, Rinelle. You are beautiful, powerful and I’m in awe. Rest in power, all indigenous women that we’ve lost.

Angela Y. Davis: This is the ideological work that the prison performs - it relieves us of the responsibility of seriously engaging with the problems of our society, especially those produced by racism and, increasingly, global capitalism.- #AngelaDavis. I love you. There’s honestly nothing more I can say about this amazing being that hasn’t already been said so… I’m just going to leave this right here for you. I’ll just gush inwardly with gratitude and appreciation for your existence. You take my breath away, goddess. What a way to wrap up my favorite month.

My Bias List

1.      Changkyun (I.M; Daniel)

Originally posted by seunqyoun


           So anyone that knows me will tell you that I used to pride myself on having never fallen for a maknae. It’s nothing against maknaes but I’m part of the ‘94 line so I’d feel conflicted if my bias was underage. However, I was casually bingeing Giriboy’s music videos one day when my perfect record was shattered before I even knew it. This disrespectful cutie climbed my list so fast and severely strained my relationship with Namjoon in the process! I’m not as salty about it as I once was now that I’ve gotten to know Monsta X a bit better.

           To me, Changkyun is like the human epitome of a cat; so incredibly caring and affectionate to those he is close with but a bit wary of strangers to the point where they’re like, “why do you keep this thing around?” To which I reply, “because he is the most precious, infuriating creature I’ve ever beheld and I have no choice but to love him!”

            Also has a sense of humor that leaves me in tears and sass that makes me want to slap kiss his smug face. And he speaks English which I never knew could be such a sexy thing before I heard his voice. Like I know he doesn’t speak English with the same confidence as Namjoon but he knows enough to rap and flirt in it which is really all I can ask for from a living meme.

           Fun fact: my friends and I have a group chat called “the prime time hummus” (BTS cypher part 2) in which we send devastating pictures of each other’s biases because we are gluttons for punishment apparently. They bombarded me with I.M pictures the moment they found out until they realized that I had stopped retaliating. They asked if I was okay, and in truth I was coming to terms with the moral quandary of having a maknae as my ultimate bias, but all I could say was: I’m fine. Thank you and you? (Blue Moon reference for my Monbebes)

Recommended Song 

Recommended Song 

Bonus Video 

Extra videos are an ultimate bias privilege

2.      Lee Sunghwa (Gray)

Originally posted by kimhoody


         Between black and white there are a lot of shades of Lee Sunghwa and I want to experience all of them. Gray is another one that caught me by surprise. I was caught up in the whirlwind otherwise known as Jay Park when I stumbled across him interviewing Sunghwa about his new album. The whole thing was just too damn cute so I checked out his music. Pretty much as soon as I heard that “Gray” intro on the track I was hooked. Fun fact: that’s Zion T’s voice.

            Gray is a sweet, reserved guy in general and takes some encouraging to get him to talk during interviews. I think that would make a relationship with him all the more intimate. Getting him to open up from his shy exterior would take some time but still endearing. I can picture him being quite talkative to those he is close with and hearing his notoriously cheesy jokes would be a privilege.

           Gray is the balance that AOMG probably needed when you have a couple of flirts like Jay and Simon D running the company. He works so hard for his boys (and Princess Hoody) and deserves to be appreciated. I’m genuinely torn between wanting to tuck him into bed so he sleeps or cuddling the stuffing out of him.

Recommended Song 

Recommended Song 

3.      Woo Jiho (Zico)

Originally posted by ygnj


           My sweet, sweet Woo Jiho. Another truly talented name on this list if I do say so myself. The thing that gets me about this boy is just how versatile he is when it comes to his music. I love how serious he is about being successful in this industry despite the hardships that Block B endured in the past and that he encourages his big brother to do the same (the best brothers in kpop tbh). He seems to encourage everyone around him to live up to their potential and I stumble across so many great artists because of their collaborations with Zico.

            Zico is that guy in school that has more than one friend group and loves them all equally. The boy has legs and lips for days and knows how to use them both. I am forever grateful that I find 50% of his hairstyles tragic. He’s still a lovely string bean and would be a confusing mixture of sexy and fluffy in a relationship that’s borderline addicting. Also, he laughs like a fake bitch and I love it. Just saying.

Recommended Song 

Recommended Song 

4.      Jay Park

Originally posted by sukiieeeee


         I love and hate that Jay’s extra self is on this list. He was the first one of the AOMG crew that I discovered because of course he was. “Mommae” was the first mv I watched and I was a little put off by it. It’s just nothing that I had come to expect from kpop or khh and I did judge him a bit for it. “I mean yeah his voice is good and the song is hella catchy but objectifying women is not that cute. Why is everyone so thirsty for him?”

           However, the thing about Jay is that he’s so much more than a good body/face. Yeah he’s the leader of his own fan club and he knows how painfully sexy he is but I actually think he’s humble for all his accomplishments. I mean, he left Korea and his group amidst so much controversy only to be welcomed back and start his own record label. And when both Simon D. and Gray say that meeting Jay was one of the best moments in their lives, you know the boy is good people. He’s also low key the fucking fountain of youth but c'est la vie. He always picks up the tab whenever they go out to eat and he paid off Loco’s debt for crying out loud! If you needed more convincing about how good Jay is then just look up pictures of him with kids and weep. I don’t even want kids that badly and it hurt me.

           Finally, I can’t help but mention those tattoos. Never did I think I would go for someone with “King Life” written on their fingers but oh how the mighty have fallen. Having one sleeve with half the chest tattooed has always appealed to me but I foresee Jay getting a lot more coverage in the future and I don’t mind. As long as Jay keeps showing that beautiful smile of his, he can do whatever he pleases.

Recommended Song 

Recommended Song 

5.      Dean

Originally posted by korean-rnb


          My strange, precious Eskimo. Thank Zico that I found you. It’s like someone took all of my favorite traits in a person and made Dean. Artsy and talented? Check! Humble and hardworking? Check! Handsome? Check! (Though Dean only thinks he has good lips).

           If you haven’t experienced his music (and yes, it is an experience) then stop reading this, get off tumblr, and go check out his work immediately. It doesn’t even matter if you watch his live performances or his recorded work because they are equally sublime. It has been a while since I bought a complete album but I love every single song on his so I splurged.

           Music is this boy’s life and he pulls inspiration from an eclectic group of artists. He’s a visually oriented person so when it comes to composing his music he builds from an image which I think is an interesting process. His emphasis on visuals also kinda dashes any of my hopes because his ideal type includes someone with brown eyes.

           I feel obligated to address the fact that Dean is low key sassy and I endorse it. He’s humble and his goal is to make music that he likes as opposed to any sort of glory that comes with being successful but if you perform his songs then you better come prepared. He did a q&a recently and someone asked what he thought of another artist that performed his song. To paraphrase, Dean basically said that everything he does (like the extra noises and shifting melodies) has a purpose and that if someone is going to perform his songs then he hopes they will have actually listened to it first.

Recommended Video 

Bonus Video 

6.      Namjoon (Rap Monster)

Originally posted by simondismydaddy


           Oh Joonie… where to even begin? He was the first one to ever knock TOP out of the number one spot in my bias list which was an ordeal. Let me paint the picture: me with a huge bottle of wine (drinking straight from the bottle cause real life breakups and stuff) sitting on the floor of my friends’ apartment with a picture of Joonie enlarged on an ipad so that we could watch Moulin Rouge together. That was our first “date” and my friend has the regrettable snapchat to prove it.

           When I started following BTS I really did not see the sexy appeal to him. I admitted that he was attractive but that doesn’t mean much in the crazy world of kpop. I’m not the type to fangirl over dimples or someone’s visuals alone. I have to love their personality before I can commit them to my bias list. I didn’t actually notice Namjoon like that until I figured out how smart and dedicated he is.

        There was just so much passion put into his mixtape and the way he plays with the flow of his words against the beat that was like heaven to me. Don’t even get me started on that voice. When Namjoon turns into Rap Monster on stage it makes me feel like I need to go to church immediately with all of the sin running through my mind.

           He’s also one of the idols that I follow that would have some idea of what to do in a relationship, and more importantly, knows what they want in a partner. Namjoon gives me the impression that he is caring towards most people but only opens up to those he is close with. Like you know you’re seeing the real Namjoon when he keeps you in late night conversations or constantly asks your opinion on things. It’s that closeness that would speak for itself when Namjoon forgets can’t find the words to express how much you mean to him. There is a kind of security in that unspoken understanding that makes me weak.

Recommended Song 

Recommended Song 


7.      Min Yoongi (Suga)

Originally posted by sugaglos


          Min Yoongi. Genius. Those words should be enough… but I’ll keep going if you insist. Grandpa Yoongi is a bit of a secret bias for me because he was my best friend’s bias. Was.

           That being said, I technically saw Yoongi first. He was in all of his “rich housewife” aesthetic glory and I looked over at TOP like, “this boy is gonna be trouble for you.” However, Yoongi got overshadowed by Namjoon and never really usurped TOP but he’s higher on this list because TOP is at an age where I really just want him to find someone that makes him happy.

           Surprise of surprises: Yoongi is my bias because of his personality. He’s the quiet, sassy hyung that does a lot of behind the scenes caring for his members. I feel like I could go to him with a problem and his energy would be enough to reassure me that everything was going to be okay or at least make me take a nap. He can be a bit blunt but he usually does it with the best intentions. And if he was serious about the relationship, I think Yoongi would do his best to take care of you but he would also depend on you a lot. He’s a workaholic and would need the emotional/mental support of someone he loves. The thought of being both protected and needed is what makes Yoongi such boyfriend material to me.

           Min Yoongi is another one that transforms on stage and damn can Suga rap. Too bad I’m still waiting on his mixtape but at least Rap Monster’s second one will keep me company in the meantime.

Recommended Song 

8.      Seunghyun (TOP)

Originally posted by b-wtabi


          The original bias who will forever have a home on this list. Little did I know what was coming when I watched my first kpop mv and casually announced to myself, “the blue haired one is kinda cute.”

           Bigbang was my introduction into kpop and for a long time they were the only group I followed because I’m stubborn like that. And what a time to get into Bigbang because 2012 was the golden year. I still find myself reminiscing about their 2012 comeback. I love their old stuff too but working your way from debut to “Fantastic Baby” leaves you questioning where the hell they got the nerve to get so good.

           I digress because The Original Pimp *cue cringe* has been my neglected bias for too long. I fell so hard for this man it’s not even funny. Like I made an instagram account for the sole purpose of admiring the hot selfies and artsy shit he posts. His voice made me swoon and I’m pretty sure he can cut diamonds on those cheekbones. He always looks put together yet never seemed too flashy about his body considering how rarely Bigbang likes to keep their shirts on.

             Being a formerly chunky person myself, I suspect most of that comes from the self-conscious habits he picked up when he was overweight. I am a sucker for guys with some struggle in their past. If only TOP had left me with more than Doom Dada, he would probably be higher on this list…

Recommended Song 

9.      Jackson

Originally posted by b2utygot7


       I’m not even sure if Jackson should be counted as a bias because if you love got7 then you love Jackson by default. That’s just how the world works. You can say you have a different bias but you are painfully aware that Jackson can make a move any time he pleases. Like, he can just demand compliments whenever he sees you and then one day you realize you’ve been complimenting him for weeks without him having to ask and that little voice in your head just whispers, “shit…”

Recommended Video 

10.  Siyoung (Giriboy)  

Originally posted by blobyblome

          And here we are; the bias I would argue is the most stubborn and confusing on my list. At least he is to me but my heart skips a beat whenever I hear “G R Boy” on a track. Giriboy came to my attention at an interesting time. I am a self-proclaimed music addict, and though I do have my genre preferences, I try my best to give everything a chance. The same goes for my dating history; for better or worse there is a lot of variety there.

           But I was surprised at myself for having such singular tastes when it came to Korean music so I did one of my favorite things when it comes to music: I explored! I listened to everything that I came across and Giriboy’s name kept popping up. “Take Care of You” was the first song of his that I listened to and there was something about it that felt sincere. Then I watched the mv with subtitles and cried my eyes out. I have since learned that when he is composing, Giriboy thinks of the saddest situation he can imagine which explains a lot but also leaves me a little salty.

           But I don’t think Giriboy would really care about me being salty because he is a stubborn, high key sass king with an ego to boot. He is so unapologetically himself and I adore it. Like, I’m imagining a healthy amount of banter, cussing, and lazy days in with this boy. Don’t forget the snacks. Just so many snacks that it makes you wonder how the fuck he manages to stay so small…It all sounds like a dream until the realistic part of my brain kicks in. We are way too similar to make things work  which is why I’m keeping him at the bottom of this list. It’s for the best or so I tell myself.

Recommended Song 

The Amazing Maleeni

Morning, January 10

She’s on her third pass with the broom in her bedroom when the phone rings. Leaning the broom against the wall, she grimaces at the sound of yet another missed piece of glass crunching underfoot on her way to pick up the receiver.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Scully, it’s me. Pack a bag. We’ve got a flight out of Dulles in two hours.”

“Whoa, whoa, what? Mulder… you said you were just running by the office to check on a few things.”

“I did. And we’ve got a case. A really interesting one.”

She closes her eyes, sighing through her nose. “Mulder, I was really hoping to make some progress on my apartment today.”

“Did I mention it’s a really interesting case?”

Ordinarily, she might welcome the opportunity to be distracted by work, but the longer it takes to clean up the mess left behind by Donnie Pfaster’s attack, the longer it will be before she can start leaving the psychological mess behind as well.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to handle this one on your own.”

“Well… I already got two plane tickets. But I guess, if you really don’t wanna come along…” She knows the hurt in his voice is mostly just an act.

Mostly.

She sighs again. “Fine. I’ll go. But you have to promise to help me clean here when we get back. For real, this time.”

He’d driven her over this morning and helped for about ten minutes before deciding he should go check in at the office “real fast.” That was three hours ago.

“Hey, I was gonna come back. But then this case–”

“I know, I know. It’s fine, Mulder, just… when the case is over–”

“We’ll get it done. I promise.”

She nods, even though he obviously can’t see her through the phone, then glances over toward her closet, wondering how much she’s going to have to pack for a trip in January. “And where, may I ask, is this case taking us?”

“The City of Angels.” She can hear the smirk in his voice, and she shakes her head, grinning just the tiniest bit.

Great. At least she can leave the heavy coat at home.

***

Keep reading

Imagine Jared coming to see you after a long time

I’ve been at the store all day sitting in front of my computer, wishing that someone would enter and ask me for a book. Most customers just enter, look around for a few minutes and then leave. At first, I approached most of them, asking them if they were looking for something in particular, but I was dismissed in just a second. I’m beginning to loose all my hope, when two girls enter the store, both giving me a smile before approaching my desk.

“Do you have any novel really related to music?” The younger one asks me. “Like, they talk about songs and bands, and that kind of stuff”

“I think I have something for you”

I take the girls to one of the shelves and hand them some books. The bell at the door rings again, so I leave the girls to walk to the front door.

I don’t even have to ask who is the man just casually walking towards my chair behind the desk. The hair is longer, and the beard is trimmed for once, even the smell is the same.

“I knew I would find you here”

Jared takes his sunglasses off and I’m finally able to see his eyes. It takes me a second to run and hug him like I haven’t seen him in years, and it actually has been one year since I last saw him. One really long year.

He holds me in his arms, not wanting to let me go, my heart threatening to escape from my chest and my face hidden on his neck, absorbing the smell that I’ve missed.

”It’s been so long" He whispers in my ear, and I finally lose my grip on him.

“And whose fault is that?” I ask, crossing my arms around my chest. “Not even a call the last three months”

“You can call me too, you know?” He mutters, standing up from the chair.

“Yeah, but every time I tried calling you, it was Emma who answered the damn phone, I think she’s my best friend now” I say, poking his chest.

Jared laughs before leaving me alone in the desk, he starts walking around the shelves, looking at the books, picking some to check them and then leaving them in the same place. The two girls are still deciding what to buy, and when one of them notices Jared’s presence, I remember why we usually don’t hang out downtown.

“Oh my god, oh my god…” The girl whispers, hitting her friend on the arm with her elbow.

When the second girl acknowledges what’s going on, I decide to intervene.

"Did you liked them?” I ask the girls, trying to get their attention, but they are still looking at Jared.

"Is that…?” The older one tries to ask, but I look at Jared, who just noticed what’s going on, and then at the girls.

“Who?”

“Jared Leto” The younger one mutters.

“Jared Leto?” I ask, laughing, “Hell, no. Believe me, I’ve seen him a few times, and that’s definitely not him” I see how Jared puts his sunglasses on and walks to the back of the store, “That’s just a friend, we always make fun of him because people think he’s Jared Leto, but the real one actually looks like a God”

I know they are not convinced by my stupid comment, but they decide to believe me. Besides, Jared is hidden in the back, and I’m not letting them get in there.

“So, did you like the books?”

Both girls buy a book, and decide to stay for a few more minutes looking at nothing in particular around the shelves. I know they are waiting for Jared to come out again, but now that he knows the girls recognized him, he wasn’t gonna do that. After a few minutes they finally desist from the idea of staying around till Jared reappears, and finally leave the store.

When I’m alone in the store, I run to the front door to lock it and hang the “We’re closed” sign.

“I didn’t know you thought I looked like a God” Jared laughs, coming out off the storeroom.

“Oh, shut up, everybody calls you Jesus now that your hair is long”

“Yeah, but you’re not everybody”

My heart starts its race again and I feel my hands shaking.

“Anyway,” he says, picking my bag and jacket, “You’re coming with me, there’s something I need to tell you”

He doesn’t give me a chance to ask anything, when I’m already outside the store. His car is parked right in front and once I’m inside I start asking all the questions.

“Where are we going?”

“My apartment” he answers, while starting the engine.

“I didn’t know you still had your apartment here” I mumble, surprised.

“Of course I do, where would I stay every time I come to visit you?”

My jaw drops and I feel my cheeks getting red.

“Anyway, you never come” I mutter crossing my arms on my chest.

“Yeah, because I’m busy, now stop complaining about my absence and tell me about you, something I should know?”

“Everything is pretty much the same” I say, shrugging, he gives me a quick look clearly not believing a word, “Really, nothing has changed, I still work in the same store, don’t I?”

“I already told you, LA could be your solution, there are way more opportunities than here!” Another quick look before reaching for my hand, "You could live with me till we find you a something”

“I’m not leaving this place, Jared, you know that” I mumble, playing with his fingers, avoiding his eyes, “My whole life is here, my family, even that future that I planned and it still hasn’t come”

His hand leaves mine, and I can clearly see that he’s pissed, I decide not to continue with the same old conversation and stay quiet on my seat. The music is the only thing filling the silence on our way to his apartment and I feel uncomfortable around him, we haven’t seen each other for the past year and he hasn’t called for the last three months. Living with him would be the great opportunity to see him almost daily, but I know Jared and we have already been there, once he starts seen me more often, his “asshole side” appears.

It isn’t until we are in the elevator that I have the guts to start talking again.

“So, how is… what’s her name?” I start to ask, obviously faking my memory loss.

“Anastasia, and I don’t know” He answers, shrugging, his eyes on me through our reflection in the elevator, “I haven’t seen her”

“You two are no longer together then?” I ask, coming out of the elevator, and I see him shrug again.

“We had a fight, why do you think I’m here?”

I don’t know, maybe to see your best friend in the world? The one that answers your phone calls at 4 in the morning, even when she has to be up at 6 to go to work?

I end up laughing at myself, for being so stupid. It’s always the same with Jared, I don’t get why I keep doing this to myself, when I know that the only thing I get from Jared are stories about the amazing Los Angeles and all those marvelous countries I would never even dream about visiting.

I leave him when he opens the door to his apartment, but he catches me before I can get in the elevator again.

“What are you doing?” He asks, holding my arm.

“Leaving, why do you think I walked here?” I answer, imitating his tone from before.

Jared realizes what is going on and lets go off my arm. His hands start running through his hair, and I want to believe that he feels as ashamed as he looks.

“I didn’t meant that, you know it”

“No, I don’t” I press the elevator button again, and I stand there waiting, “I don’t even know what I’m doing here”

“I need to tell you something” Jared repeats his words from before.

“Yeah? Well, I have something to tell you too” I turn around to face him, “I may live in this fucking city, with no job opportunities, with the most boring shops and parks that you will find in all America. But at least I don’t forget that you exist and only remember your existence when I have a problem or need to tell someone about all the shit that happens in my life. Three months since the last call, you didn’t even answered my messages!”

“I told you, I was busy”

“Oh, right, your work. Have fun with your interviews and concerts” I mumble, getting in the elevator, “And next time you need someone to squeal with about your infinite love affairs, don’t call me, I would really appreciate it”

“I don’t do that!” He screams, holding the elevator door open, “Every time I call you, whenever I ask about your life, you don’t want to talk about it”

“And why do you think I do that?”

My life is a mess, I’ve been working in the same place for years, I spent four years at college and for what? To live the rest of my life working in some old library. I have the same routine everyday, nothing changes. No boyfriends, because I’m too busy being in love with Jared, longing for his return to Crap City, like he’s my sweet prince in his shining armor that will come to my rescue.

But maybe I don’t want to be rescued if that means that I will have to see him with his long list of lovers, I had enough of that when he lived here and I don’t want to experience the same again.

He knows that my life sucks here, and that his stories help me get my head to other places. But I don’t want to be the best friend, the one listening about his lovers and then crying alone in my room because he will never be mine.

“You’ve always been here for me, you’re my best friend” Jared mutters, tears threatening to come out.

“But you are never here for me!”

“I already told you…”

“Yeah, you were busy”

“You haven’t let me tell you with what. Give me two minutes, you don’t have to enter the apartment, just wait here”

I nod and get off the elevator again. Jared disappears inside his apartment and I can hear him running from room to room looking for something. When he appears again, there’s an envelope in his hands, he hands it to me almost desperately. Jared’s hands are shaking when I take it, and once I open it I find an airplane ticket to LA. I don’t even take the thing out, I just close the envelope handing it to him.

“I can’t”

“Of course you can! You’re stuck in here, you deserve better, I can give you better!”

I take his hand to leave the ticket there and return to the elevator. I start pressing the button almost desperately, only to stop when his hand reaches mine.

“I need you there” Jared mutters, forcing me to hug him.

“You were just fine for the last year without me” I mumble in response, “I can’t be the wipe that dries your tears whenever you fight with one of your girlfriends!”

“I don’t want you there because of that, just receive and think about it, it’s due next month, you still have time”

“Just let me go, Jared”

He does what I ask and I end up receiving his envelope with the ticket inside.

“Promise me you’ll think about it” He asks me when I’m entering the elevator.

“Just give me one good reason”

“I love you” Jared whispers before the elevator doors close and I’m left alone with my thoughts.


Imagine Jared coming to see you after a long time | Part Two

4

Emma Watson’s interview for the Sunday Times

The joy of youth

Growing in confidence, learning to handle her fame and dating a rugby hunk — Emma Watson is a girl in bloom

Emma Watson claps her hands to her mouth as if I’ve asked her to do something naughty. “Oh gaaawd, no. I couldn’t do that,” she says, when I ask her to describe herself. “Can I phone a friend? I’ll ring my best friend, Lauren.” She grabs her phone, jiggling her foot nervously. “Pick up, pick up.”

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seanspedicey  asked:

do 33 pleeaasee!

33. celebrity/fan au

I’m already actually writing something like this. Is it cheating if I just c&p some of it? It’s totally cheating, isn’t it? Aeh. I’m gonna do it anyway because who knows if I’ll ever actually finish writing it.

OKAY, BASIC PREMISE: Stiles drunk-dialled the wrong number, and then texts the following morning to apologise and thank Derek for not being a creep. Stiles doesn’t know who Derek actually is until the ensuing weird fluff.

*

Derek doesn’t forget about Stiles, but the week that follows is hectic with auditions and appearances, and trying to keep Laura from putting him forward for the male lead in another romantic comedy—you don’t understand, Laura, they’ll make me shave—all the while keeping Cora from disappearing to Antigua for a year, or whatever stunt she’s trying to pull of late.

 So the text exchange with Stiles is quickly buried in his phone’s inbox, and Stiles doesn’t contact him again until around a week later, when Derek gets a phone call not long after getting back from a magazine interview.

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Real Life Fan Fic

Anon requested -  I was wondering if I could request an imagine where (Y/N) writes fanfic on a blog about the boys and somehow she becomes really close friends with them. She’s closer to Ash than the others and then one day he finds all of the fanfic about him on her laptop and starts to make it come true? (Like what happens in the fanfic he does for her in real life).. All of you are amazing writers btw :))

Thank you :) We love when people love our stuff. I hope you enjoy this one!

I finish typing up my latest of the stories for my tumblr page when my brother pounds on my bedroom door. 

“Dorkweed, you have mail” he slides it under the door. I open the brown envelope to see the lease agreement signed by my cousin Stacy and ready for my own signature. As soon as I mail this off then we will officially be renting a new apartment in LA for the year. Stacy lives in Ohio and can’t wait to get out while I have been living in New York for far too long. I enjoy the bustle of the city but after a while, the rain and snow get to be a bit much on a person’s happiness. We decided last December that we were going to fly out to LA, find a place and we did. We found a place 2 block from the beach that was a little beat up but we got a rent cut if we offered to spruce up the place. I signs the papers, put it in a new envelope and stick a stamp on it. I grab my keys and skip down the stairs.

“I’m going to the post office!” I shout to my mother. 

“Didn’t the mail just come?” She shouts back. 

“Lease papers so I want to send them certified” I answer. 

“Drive safe!” She reminds me as always. I step out into the heat and look around. Our little section of Brooklyn is mostly older couples who have been here for over 60 years and would rather give a limb then move from their apartments. ‘One more month’ I remind myself as I am sucked into another long conversation with Mrs. Johanson. ‘one more month’.

——————–

I have the last box in my hands and bring it to my room. That’s it, it’s final, we are all in. I place it on the floor and let out a huge breath. Last month I flew out to interview for a job and found out that I got it the day I flew home. I start next week so I knew I had to write a few stories ahead of time so I had something to post if I was too engrossed learning my new job. The box that I had just placed on the ground happened to be my notebooks that I had filled with stories. I open one and start to write. By the time I finish the story I realize that it had gotten dark out but I hadn’t taken anything out of the boxes piled in my room. I made my way downstairs where I found my cousin sitting on the couch with her laptop open and a video up. 

“I see you got as distracted as me” I joke. 

“I thought about setting up the tv so I could watch Netflix. That was like 2 hours ago” she told me. 

“How about we order some food then set the tv up?” I suggest. “That way we can have something to watch and we can unpack the living room and kitchen.”

“I like that plan.” She picks up her phone and looks for the closest pizza place and orders a plain pie to the house. I get a power strip out and plug in the cable box that the man had installed today, and placed the tv on the stand. Stacy unpacked the xbox and set it up in the tv stand as well as placing all the dvd boxes and game boxes underneath. We connected to the wifi and that was that. The pizza arrived just as we picked a show to watch.

——————–

“Okay Y/N so here is the deal. We work with some pretty big name people here and the goal is to keep them as happy as possible. Your job is pretty much to do whatever it is that you are requested by them.” My new boss Jen pauses for a moment and cocks her head to the right a bit. “As long as it’s reasonable. Obviously no killing anyone or anything” she adds an uncomfortable laugh. I wonder if it’s been requested before. I nod my head along as she continues. “Do you have your license?”

“Yes, I don’t own a car though” I tell her. 

“Oh that’s fine. We have a company car that you would be using anyway. I know you aren’t from here so there is a gps in there for if you need to find a place and here is the company card” she hands me a black credit card. “Use this for anything that they request.” 

“Okay” I nod again. 

“Your first clients are a band, I’m sure you have heard of 5 Seconds of Summer.” I feel my heart rate increase and I stare blankly at her for a second.

“Uh yeah, I know them” I try to play cool. I fail horribly but I tried.”

“Well they are due in any minute which means that they will be here in half an hour because stars are never on time” she teases. “You have my number, call if you need anything.” She walks out the door. I grab my phone and dial Stacy. I know she is currently at her first day of work too but this can’t wait. She answers the phone on the second ring.

“Hello”

“My first client is 5SOS, what the fuck do I do?” I whisper almost aggressively into the phone. 

“Oh relax drama queen. Just do your job and be normal. I’m sure you can figure that one out.” 

“Are you kidding me? I spent 2 hours yesterday writing a fanfic about Ashton using his bandanas as a restraint” I reminded her. 

“Stop it. Just act like you aren’t part of the fam and that you just appreciate their music. Don’t mention anything about their fabulous bodies or the way that Ashton’s smile makes you melt and want to…”

“Shit, they’re here bye” I hang up the phone. I close my eyes and take a deep breath to relax. “I got this, it’s all good’ I tell myself as I turn around and there he is, Ashton Fletcher Irwin, inches away from me with his hand stretched out for me to shake. 

“I imagine that you are Y/N” he says to me and I stop myself from drooling. 

“Yes, and I’m here to help you with anything you need” I said as if I rehearsed it. “Apart from murder because apparently that is against company policy” I add in for a humorous effect and it works. Ashton laughs along with me and it is the most amazing sound I have ever heard. Ashton quickly introduces me to the other guys and I shake all of their hands. “I guess I should probably just go out and say it that I do listen to your music and I do find it enjoyable.” 

“Anything else you want to tell us?” Ashton asks with a cocky face and I almost think for a second that he heard Stacy when I called her but I pretend it’s not possible. 

“Um, I like short walks to the couch and Netflix with pizza, my favorite color is teal and If I could get a dog I would name it Steve because really…who names a dog Steve?” I look from face to face and get blank stares until Ashton bursts out in laughter. 

“We may have to keep you around” he tells me.

———- 2 months later ———-

“Y/N?” I hear from my living room. Ashton must have let himself in again because Stacy is out at a training seminar for the next couple of days. Since that first day in the studio whenever I was asked to do something, Ashton asked to join me in my task. I couldn’t exactly say no anyway because it was my instructions to always say yes, unless he was told by someone else no. We traded numbers pretty quickly and I began to get a little weirded out by my own stories because now we were friends. I posted that I wasn’t going to be writing anymore stories on the 5SOS boys because of other circumstances but that my fan fictions that were non-5SOS would continue. That was only yesterday though.

“Bedroom” I shout back and I hear his heavy steps coming my way. 

“I was hoping that we could just hang out here tod” he stops short when he sees me standing in a towel in the middle of my room. 

“Oh no!” I laugh “It’s not what you think.” I open the towel to reveal a new bathing suit that I had been trying on. “I wanted to see if this fit but I was just about to hop in the shower. You got here a little earlier then I thought.”

“Yeah, I’ll just go…uh… wait in the…” he started to stutter. 

“Okay” I laugh. 

“Can I use your computer really quick? I want to look up which movies to watch but I think it’s easier on there then xbox.”

“That’s fine. I’ll be quick.” He walks out of the room and I head to the bathroom. I turn the water on and hop in but as soon as I finish my shaving and shampooing I heard movement in my bedroom again. “What are you doing?” I shout over the water. 

“Power is low” he says but it’s a bit quick. 

“Cord is plugged in under my desk” I dry myself off and change into the clothes that I had brought in with me. When I come out I see that there are candles lit around my room and Ashton is standing in the middle. He clicks the space bar on the computer and music starts. He reaches out his hand for me and I go to him as the lyrics start. My heart beat won’t slow when I notice that everything has turned out exactly as I had written it in the last story I had put him into on my computer. I try to ignore the similarities as he sways us back and forth and sings along to the song. 

“You read my story, this is so embarrassing” I tell him when there is a break in the song. 

“Did it work though?” he asks. He abandoned singing and stopped his movements before gently pushing a piece of hair out of my face. “I was hoping that the story was what you wanted.”

“I’m sorry I’m so weird” I say shyly and look away. 

“I’m not” he answers back. “Please answer me though” he laughs a little. “I feel kinda caught in the open with my pants down.”

“You guys do that all the time anyway” I tease. 

“So you are avoiding it?” he steps back. “I’m sorry, I just assumed….I shouldn’t have, it was just a story.” 

“Wait” I put my hand up and to his shoulder before he gets a step away. “You’re right. I just didn’t want you to see it. I mean, I know fan fiction freaks you guys out or whatever so I told them I was stopping.”

“I’m still wondering if you will like date me or whatever” he rubs the back of his neck. I shake my head yes. 

“I’m trying not to vomit” I say. When I realize the way it came out I shake my head no. “I mean because my heart is racing!” to clarify. He hugs me with his hands around my waist before he leans back out he giggles. 

“I may have read more then this one” he admits. 

“Oh Jesus” I think of 2 weeks ago when I wrote a story that I said that after things got a little hot between us.

“Yeah, I read that one too.” My face turns bright read and he pulls me back into the hug. “I can’t wait to get to that one.”

-Kimmie

Engaged- Part 3

Part 1 - Part 2

Also on Fanfiction HERE and Ao3 HERE. 

LOVESTRUCK LOVEMARKS? ADRINETTE HEATS UP!

Marinette Dupain-Cheng either got in a fight with a tiny-fisted wrestler, or she had a hot date last night. 

Cheng and her new fiancé, model Adrien Agreste, have heated up the city of love this week with the announcement of their engagement, and now it looks as if someone has marked his territory with more than a ring! Le Monde’s photographers spotted the 26-year-old fashion designer on her way to Coccinelle headquarters, and it looks like she was sporting a hickey on her neck.

Nothing makes us quite as nostalgic for high school as a hickey does, but we have to wonder if Cheng appreciates the love bite – which we’re assuming is courtesy of Adrien– since it’s also a little embarrassing.

Well, to each their own!

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[TRANS] Ceci September Issue Wooyoung Interview

DAYS OF HEAVEN

The first time he flickered across in my path, he seemed to be a young boy who looked even younger than I thought. When we met for a photo shoot for the second time, he was still brimming with raw and delightful energy. For the third time, an obviously grown-up and experienced appearance was a welcoming sight. Thus, he picked out the growing pains of the harsh 20s one by one. As if it was nothing.

 

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That One Teacher...

Context: Long story short, I had a phenomenal teacher during a rough patch in my youth, I heard he’s retiring, and I had to write him in order to thank him for his impact on me. I’ve decided to make this public in the hopes that other teachers will see it and remind them that in a thankless job they are appreciated, even if it’s not always said in a verbose manner such as this. I have sent this letter to his daughter in the hopes that his eyes see it.

 ——-

Dear Mr. Clague,

I’m not sure if you remember me, you hopefully don’t even need to in order to read this letter and understand where I’m coming from. I entered your drama course in 1992 and graduated the year of 1993. I’ve had many fantastic teachers throughout my years of education but you were the one that went above and beyond and really had a significant impact on my life at the time, as well as for many years to come.

When I was 15 years old my father suddenly passed and I found myself, a New England native, suddenly being whisked off to Southern California to finish up high school and for our entire family to start anew. My mother had a sister over in Glendora, and in tough times such as one whereas you lose your father, it’s important to keep whatever family support network you have as close as possible. Since my mother was moving to La Verne the natural choice for finishing high school was Bonita High. I vividly remember going down to see my new school before we enrolled and being surprised by the fact that it was a campus. It was wide open, and why not, it hardly rains in Southern California, as opposed to New England where the weather is often terrible and the schools are entirely enclosed to stave off the elements.

When I first arrived at the school I had a hard time finding friends. I loved my video games, but I couldn’t really find anyone else who was as die hard as I was. (This was also at a transitional time for gaming whereas if you still played your Super Nintendo it was considered Kid Stuff, and if you played on your PC you were a dorky outlier, as opposed to now, whereas nearly everyone plays games and uses the internet.) I liked…hockey…so I wore a hockey shirt to school sometimes and made a couple of friends over that. I had forgotten my drama roots to some extent; I had dabbled back in North Andover a bit (lots in middle school, was Michael in Peter Pan in sixth grade) but really forgot how much I loved acting – and what it could do for me.

When I got involved in your drama plan it was the best possible thing for me in every way. You were teaching so many basic life lessons beyond simply how to act. It gave me confidence. It gave me friends and community when I desperately needed it. It gave me identity. It also taught me how to work with a myriad of unique unicorns and their personalities towards a goal – a deadline – without strangling one another.

To this day whenever I talk to a relative, or a friend, or an in-law who has kids I bang the drum of encouraging their children to get involved in the arts, in drama, in particular. And, inevitably, those who I do manage to convince come back with glowing things to say about how their child has “come out of their shell” or “seems so much more confident” or “has met all these new friends and is having a blast!”

I, myself, knew that I was only an average actor. (My Iambic Pentameter as Mercutio was laughable!) When I go back and take a peek at my senior yearbook I see an overwhelming trend in the signatures from my peers. The majority of the writings read “Good luck with the video game or acting thing!” By making video games for the last 20 years and being visible doing it – talking to the press, doing lectures, showing off products on stage – I’ve found a way to do both.

I hear that you’re retiring shortly. From what I’ve noticed about the Facebook group created in your name I’m clearly not the only one who has been impacted by you and your program. We live in a country where athletics are sadly valued much more than the arts, where teachers are not paid enough and spend their own earnings on supplies, and regardless of that you did something amazing. You chose to teach at a public school, you cared, and you made an enormous impact, and not a day goes by that I don’t thank the fact that I participated in your classes and your program. As you enjoy retirement you can rest easy knowing that you impacted hundreds if not more impressionable kids who went on to bigger and better things.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you, so very much.

Cliff Bleszinski, 4/22/14