i just want you to get home

Random thoughts Slytherins have

• Is it acceptable to say gucci and fam in the same sentence?

• I’m gonna be the most aesthetic

• actually, fuck that

• I just want to go home

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

• I’m just gonna pretend that didn’t happen

• ew look at that person over there… breathing like a bitch

• I’m too tired for this

• I’m gonna shove a cactus up your ass

• Google that shit

• Is it possible to get high off crispy onions?

• fuck this

• Maybe if I say ‘fuck me’ more often when I do something wrong, someone will say ‘I’m trying’

• Why are people so stupid sometimes?

• I’m back bitches, missed me?

• how come no one ever misses me

• you’re all gonna be sorry when I’m richer than you

• CHECK IT OUT THIS CHILD ACTUALLY LIKES ME

• I hate hugs

• If I don’t get a hug in the next two minutes I’m literally going to start crying

• wHy Am I cRyInG

• fuck this, fuck you, fuck that, fuck me

• Your rules don’t apply to me

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

• I like being alone

• I hate being alone

• If you tell me what to do one more time I swear I will slap a bitch

• Well fuck me up and call me Florida

All Mine

Originally posted by stylesinthewild

A/N: This a requested imagine about Harry getting protective with y/n when a guy starts to hit on her at a party. (Harry looks kind of annoyed in this gif but it’s really hot?? the daddy vibes got me feeling some type of way. Anyways let’s get on with it)

Warnings: Smut, a guy being pushy with a girl also PSA i did not proof read so warning you of typos, v sorry I’m tired but i want to get this out!

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist

It was Harry’s first night back in town and you could not be more excited. As much as you loved seeing him living his dream, it was always hard to be away from him when he was on tour. All that sadness was forgotten now, as the two of you and a couple of your friends decided to go out to celebrate Harry’s return. 

Keep reading

Dude… You Set Me Up (Dean Ambrose)

Originally posted by taaeehyungs

Anon requested Cocky Dean. Hopefully this fic delievers 😉

________

Dean’s used to getting whatever girl he wants with no problem but what happens when he sets his sights on one girl but she’s not falling for his charm? HUMOR

________

Warnings: SLIGHT CURSING

________

“Dude. I bet you can’t take that girl over there home.” Seth smirked looking over at a random girl in the bar.

Dean smirked back.

Was he serious? Dean asked himself looking at Seth.

He looked over at the girl who was sitting alone by her self.

Of course I can get that home.

I mean, I am Dean Ambrose of course.

“Seth don’t play yourself.” Dean said his smirk becoming more defined on his lips. “I can get her and two others if I want.”

His friend just laughed momentarily, while shaking his head. “That one is good for now.”

“Watch closely and maybe you’ll learn something, Rollins.” Dean said getting up and making his way to the girl.

_______

Y/N sat at the bar deep in thought when she felt someone brush up against her.

She glanced over to the left of her to be greeted by a man with hair slicked back and a clean shave.

She smiled politely before turning her gaze elsewhere.

“I’ll have another beer.” The man said. “And the lady will have another of whatver she’s drinking.”

“Oh no.” Y/N said with a slight giggle. “I was just about to leave anyway.”

Even better Dean thought.

“Mind if I join you?” He said smiling to show off his dimples.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, tying her best not to scoff.

Ew, he’s one of those, she said to herself.

“You wanna come back at my place?”

Dean nodded trying to fight the urge to smirk again. “If that’s what you want babe. I’m down for a good time.” He replied.

_______

Seth sat in his seat watching the scene in front of him unfold.

“Are you joking..?” He heard the girl yell.

Seth almost chocked on his beer, from a uncontrollable laugh.

“…You think, you can just come up to me, then five minutes later, I’m supposed to invite you to my place so we can fu–”

He watched as Dean quickly covered the girl’s mouth before she could finish saying the word.

_______

“Shh.” Dean said covering the girl’s mouth, but then quickly snatched his hand away when she bit his finger. “Ouch.”

Y/N slapped him. “I don’t know if that shit works on other girls but it’s not going to work on me.” She said making her way from the bar.

Dean groaned, of course it works with other girls.

Could I be losing my charm? He wondered before something made his eyes get huge.

The girl that just slapped him was at the table talking to his friend Seth.

Dean laughed to himself.

He won’t get anywhere he thought, taking a sip of the beer he’d previously order from the bartender.

But as soon as he took a sip he spit it out.

The girl leaned over giving Seth a quick kiss on the cheek.

“You did good Y/N.” Dean overheard Seth saying.

Dean stood there with his mouth opened as he put the pieces together.

Dude… You set me up. You know her.”

Seth laughed shrugging. “Dean, meet my friend Y/N. Y/N.” Seth started laughing again. “I’m sure you know Dean.”

“That was wrong, Seth.” Dean said frowning as he took his seat at the table him and Seth shared. “But at least I know my game didn’t really fail me.”

_______

Tag List: @littleprincess1621 @princesstoniii @eshia16 @panic-angel3314 @wwe-rollins-lover

Napoléon: I am the emperor of France now suck it y’all

Robespierre, appearing as a ghost: Hey there buddy, chum, pal, friend, buddy, pal, chum, friend, fella, brother, amigo, pal, buddy, friend, chummy chum chum, pal, I don’t mean to be rude, my friend, pal, home slice, bread slice, dawg, but I must warn you; If you take one more diddly darn step right there, I may have to diddly darn return from the dead to guillotine you, and wowza would that not be a crummy juncture? Do you want that? Do you wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? Because, friend, buddy, chum, friend, chum, pally pal, chum, friend, if you keep this up, then well gosh diddly darn, I just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend, pal, friend, buddy, chum, pally, friend, chum, buddy…

anonymous asked:

The missus really early in her pregnancy and she just feels like shit and one day she’s asleep and bed and harry comes home and lays down next to her and puts his hand on the tummy and she wakes up a lil and she goes “I kind of want some ice cream” and he goes “there’s some chocolate ice cream waiting for you in the freezer baby” Harry’s just the best hubs ever

MY HEART. :”((

He would go and get her ANYTHING that sounded remotely appealing just to get something in her belly. She’s been so sick most of the day. He brought her a pillow and the thickest, fluffiest blanket (probably his blanket) because at one point, she crawls into the bathtub and stays. The surface is cool on her skin and it’s quiet and she doesn’t have to go far if she needs to be sick. He brings her cups of ice to crunch on because liquids sound like too much and ginger candies to suck on. Wipes down her clammy skin with a cool, wet washcloth and sits on the bathroom floor with her while she drifts in and out of sleep. Only leaving her when she croaks out that, “Harry, I love you. But the way you smell is making me feel sick.”  

He peeks back in an hour later. Her cheeks and skin have more color when he kneels beside the tub and finds her awake. Her eyes a little brighter.  She warns him not to kiss her. 

“I just threw up,” she rasps, so he settles on her forehead and then cheek instead. 

“You look better,” he observes, cupping her cheeks tenderly. 

“I feel better.” 

He carries her to bed, even though she insists she doesn’t need him to carry her there. 

He settles them down, not before pulling the wastebasket from the bathroom around to her side of the bed…just in case. He tucks his blanket over them and massages the pads of his fingers against her arm. 

“Anything sound good yet?” he asks, hopefully. 

She pauses, thinks for a moment. “Ice cream?” 

And Harry can’t help but giggle and nuzzle his nose to hers because only his sweet wife could spend the day being sick and immediately want ice cream after. “That, we can definitely do.” 

xx.

4

I watched him adjust the cufflinks on his tux for what seemed the tenth time as he paced in the small garden area outside of the church.

“Why are you so nervous?” I finally snapped, “Aren’t you two already married?”

“I’m not,” he lied.

“Yes, you are,” I argued. “Do you think she’s going to say ‘no’ and what? Go back to that house you guys just closed on? Get a divorce? Because you guys are already married.

“It’s not the damn wedding,” Yulian bit out. “Today just marks the start of me taking over. I’ve got to grease up a lot of assholes that I don’t care about all night long. All I want to do is go home and fuck my wife.”

Hector snorts, “You’ll grease them because if you mess up, that’s the only thing you’ll get to fuck tonight.”

“God, don’t fucking remind me.”

“Trouble in paradise already, boss?” I tease lightly.

“Em was seasick the entire way here and when we finally got in town, she’s been too tired to do anything. I haven’t gotten laid in almost a week.”

“Poor baby,” Hector croons dramatically.

“Yep, get married and she stops putting out, that’s the way it goes,” Lobito grouses. The sharp sound of a top being taken off a bottle makes all of our heads swivel to where he’s sitting. “What? It’s true.”

“Where’d you get the beer, man?” I ask suddenly thirsty. I figured it wasn’t going to be a dry wedding, but I hadn’t found the bar, though they probably hadn’t set up yet.

“I asked The Shepard and She provided,” Lobito answers with mock piety. “Through her-“

“Shut up, Lobito. Where?”

“The bar in the reception hall. They wouldn’t give me any liquor but I saw Em’s skinny little brother run off with some. The fucking jerks.” He takes a swig, “I brought up a case. Want one?”

“Pass that shit over!” I made to hand the first one to Yulian but he shook his head.

“My Nonna caught me drinking out here one night. She dragged me by the ear all the way to the confessional. She’s buried somewhere in the church’s crypt. Her ghost would rise up against me if I did it again.”

“But the reception hall here is a-okay?”

“My Nonna’s whims do not have to make sense to you. You just obey and pray to god she’s not carrying a spoon.”

“You want one, Hector? Or are you afraid of your spoon wielding grandma, too?”

“Different Grandmother,” Hector says, taking the top off with his teeth. “Mine was Chief of Police in Newcrest, she’s already spinning in her grave. A beer won’t make it worse.”

Tiny rant

I really wish I’d stop hearing things like ‘You’re like an old married couple’ when 2 people are arguing. Things like ‘you better marry a rich man’ , ‘you need to learn to cook cause he wont’ , ‘enjoy your freedom before marriage’ , ‘better buy your wife roses after that’.

Stop. Romanticizing failing marriages. Like just stop. This behavior isn’t cute. It isn’t good. It isn’t healthy. It’s things nobody wants. Besides the blatant sexism here that I hear ALL THE TIME at work and at home, this is literally the kind of marriage nobody wants, but the kind everybody normalizes.

I dunno. It bugs me so much. Marriage should be a partnership, not, 2 people living in 2 different worlds, getting irritated every time they come in contact with each other, and rarely speaking about anything that’s wrong because what’s wrong is ‘normal’.

Okey, I just sent messages to so many people and Tumblr just said I had a smelly internet but it worked totally fine and then my Tumblr just shut down. I just wanted to tell you that I wrote so many of you messages but I don’t they came through thanks to Tumblr….

@seleniftie @taylorsreputation13 @shakeitoff6202 @wond3rstruk @writtenreputation @13alltooswiftie @your-eyez-look-like-coming-home @fortheloveof-swift and many more!

I just wanted to say that i hope everyone of you are having a wonderful day and that i love you and some other more personal stuff to each of you. Sorry if it didn’t get through 😔

Commissions and Merchandise

Hey guys! I need your help!

TLDR: I need either requests for commissions, or even just ideas of what you guys would want to see on stickers, shirts, posters, etc. You can shoot me an ask on my blog, or formally commission me [here].

Long story for anyone who’s interested: due to my depression, rather than being hospitalized I have been taken out of school. Obviously at the moment I can’t be doing much except for sitting at home, so getting a job isn’t an option either. It’s nice that I have extra time to draw (god give me energy) and I’m hoping I can make at least a couple bucks! I have shops open but I really have no clue what people want so that’s where I need help!!! To be more clear, you can help out by:

  • sending a request for something you’d wanna see in my shop
  • commissioning a work of art 
  • reblogging!

Anyways thank you guys so so much for reading, and blessings to whoever drops by with ideas!

Well, I am starting to understand why I am not getting as much support on my IC blogs anymore and wow - is it really bleeding into my art blog? I see that it’s quite likely people are running their mouth about me who really have no damn right to. It’s really quite distressing all in all - but I am not going to let it get to me much. I know you are home 24/7 without much of a life outside of WoW.

For some, you don’t even know me outside of a few tells here and there or like ONE RP session. Omg or like - me getting drunk and just being a blabbering ball of liquor. I am a grown ass woman who will enjoy my drink if I want to. Guess what? We are all fucking dumbasses when drinking and may be silly as shit. 

Others? You were too butt hurt that I cut the cord because you were being obsessively creepy and pissed off at me for not being at my comp constantly to respond to you talking to me literally every minute of every day. Or, you were just being an asshole that deserved me distancing myself from you. 

I can’t really think of a thing I’ve done to anyone - so know this…

You toxic fucks, you’re not going to get rid of me. So, suck my dick.

Originally posted by ralucagreen

tagged by: @mads—world

Rules : tag ten of your followers you want to get to know better

Name: Logan

Gender: A good question, I usually just say female though

Star Sign: Scorpio

Height: 5’10"

Sexuality: I just say gay but at this point who honestly knows and or cares

What images do you have set as your desktop/cell wallpaper: my phone lock screen is me and my partner (a sweet man), my home screen is some IT fanart from the Losers Club Circus AU cause I fuckin’ love it (#tlccircusau if you’re curious. The art was done by @phsfg, and the AU by @pictorch-art), and my laptop background is of some fuckin’ colored dice cause I think it looks awesome

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: nah

What was your last text message: I would say yowza but I don’t know how to accurately say that with sarcasm over text so like

What do you see yourself doing in 10 years: probably still in some type of school, whether it be graduate, or hopefully medical school. Who knows though

If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?: Olympia, WA would sure beat the void of Montana in which I live in. Mostly saying that cause all the amazing people I know live there and I love all those dudes

What was your coolest halloween costume?: I’m too lame for Halloween costumes so I don’t have one

What was your favorite 90s show?: I’m also too lame to have a favorite 90s show, whoops

Who was your last kiss: a good question, man, but honestly like who knows. Probably no one. Ever. Whoops

Have you ever been stood up: maybe by a friend once but I honestly don’t really think so

favorite ice cream flavor: I don’t really know if I have a favorite flavor, but I just love ice cream with butterscotch and sprinkles on it

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: hell no

Favorite pair of shoes: I got some sick Pride Converse that are rainbow and I love them

Whats your favorite fruit?: cherries all the way

Whats the stupidest thing you have ever done?: probably the one time I tripped trying to put my pajama pants on after a shower and I hit my bathroom counter and broke my foot. There honestly may be something stupider though

Whats your favorite book?: I’m gonna have to say IT, but Welcome to the Dark House and Ealeanor and Park are close seconds (one of these books is not like the others, I know)

What loser is your favorite?: I live for Bev and Eddie, like they’re so god damn precious, wtf

Taglist:

@get-fcking-reddie

@mockingmeadows

@wyattghouleff

@spidey-boo

@caffeiic

@bi-bi-agu

@bleep-bleep-richie

@eddiespaghettikaspbrak

@ohmynameissarah

@howellhxlic

Five Minutes

Rules are: write a title, set a timer for five minutes, and write like mad! Post whatever you come up with, whether it’s turned into a story or not. Feel free to join! (And to tweak a few sentences once the timer runs out. No judgement! It’s just for fun.) (I changed this to five minutes to allow a little more time to explore the ideas. Let me know what you think!)


Blackbirds

They wait for me in the old churchyard, among the gravestones. Their feathers are black as soot, their beady eyes watching the lane they know I’ll be walking along.
I don’t want to pass them. But I have to, if I want to get home.
They’re only here at night, only for an hour or two. Blackbirds, so many of them I sometimes wonder if they roost there. But they don’t. The priest has never seen them, nor anyone else who lives along this lane. Only I see them. Every single night.
They’re perched on the stones when I pass, on the wall. They’re all silent, every one of them, as if they can hear my footsteps on the gravel path, my breathing in the cold air. I try not to look at them, not to breathe, and keep to the other side of the lane as far from them as I can get. I hate blackbirds. They’re nasty, vicious creatures, and they’re thieves too. I’ve never liked them. Not once.
They know I don’t like them. They know I’m afraid too, I think, although whenever I tell anyone that I get laughed at. Birds are too stupid to hold a grudge, to feel fear.
Aren’t they?
The shadows are coming out of the trees when I finally pass the church, reach the bend in the lane. I look back, but the birds are gone already. Disappeared into the darkening sky, just as quickly as they came. But they’ll be there tomorrow night. Waiting for me.
They always are.

seriously though when the whites lose home farm and they’ve moved everything out I want them to say to robert “robert come on we’re ready to go” and then he’s like “thank god. I need to settle in” and then their all confused and he just turns and says “did you honestly think I’d let you get away with me loosing aaron? Now if you don’t mind I’ve got a housewarming to prepare for”

anonymous asked:

hi. so i know this isn't like.. something you guys really do, i just really need help and just.. really don't know what to do? i've been struggling with depression for about 3 years, and i've finally been getting better, but my close friend also has depression and their home life has been getting worse recently. as we're close friends, they often talk to me about it, but it makes me think of my own home life and really upsets me. but, they don't have anyone else to talk to and i don't-- (1/2)

–want to just cut them off from being able to talk about it, and i don’t want to be a bad friend, but i’m afraid it’s making my depression worse again. i don’t know how to tell them without having them blow up on me for not being a good friend or something.. im just!! really stressed over this and i Don’t want my depression to get worse but i Do want to be able to help them.. can you guys offer me any advice? i can’t dm you guys btw, since i use tumblr on mobile and it won’t let me dm people..

Oh wow that’s really tough, and I definitely understand what you want to do for the sake of your mental health, and you’re not a bad person for that.
Can followers suggest a good way to approach this with the friend? -Matt

This was such a wonderful thing to go home too! I wish i could have drawn something for it, but I’m exhausted and I just really want to thank everyone for the 9000 follows. I never expected this to happen in such a short time, and the amount of support I’ve been getting from you guys warms my heart. I don’t think I can say this enough, but you guys keep me motivated and inspired to keep creating and it’s thanks to you guys that I’ve been able to love my art again. Thank you so much for your kind words and headcanons and continuing to love yoi. I probably wouldn’t have stayed so long in this fandom if it weren’t for the people in it. I hope we can still enjoy it together in the months and years to come.  Cheers!

  • Alec, drunk: Are you a cactus?
  • Magnus: What?
  • Alec: because I want to pat you
  • Magnus: ...how often do you have urges to pat cacti?
  • Alec: It's just that I feel like no one touches them because they're put off by the spikes and that must be a sad life. They're just an outer wall of defence and inside the cactus is just like us, I'm willing to push past that defence to get to them, y'know? Anything to make them feel better
  • Magnus, blinking slowly: ...definitely, darling. I think it's time we go home now
dating tom holland...pt. 3
  • if i’m being honest, he’d probably smell amazing 24/7
  • not even his cologne just like his scent, there’s just something so comforting about him too
  • the day before he had to leave for press or filming he’d cling onto you like a koala
    • “I’m not letting go until I absolutely have to,” he’d whine as you tried to push him off
    • “tom I have to pee,”
    • “no you don’t that’s false,”
    • “GET OFF ME BEFORE BAD THINGS HAPPEN”
  • reluctantly letting go of you so you could go pee
  • hearing your name through the door
    • [Y/N]!!!”
    • “come baaaack”
    • “….I can hear you pee” followed by loud giggling as you flush the toilet and quickly was your hands
  • he promises to call, text, and facetime you as often as possible when he’s away
  • and obviously he sticks to his promises cause he’s that guy™
    • “I miss yoooouuuu”
    • “harrison doesn’t cuddle like you”
    • “I miss your cooking” 
  • reuniting with each other is both your favourite things
  • you’d be waiting at the airport, trying to be as lowkey as possible since there was already a swarm of paparazzi’s
  • him noticing you as soon as he stepped through those doors
  • running and jumping into his arms as he threw down all his belongings
    • multiple kisses all over your face
    • whispering “i’m gonna make up for all our lost time when we get home”
  • and he so does
  • not being able to keep his hands off you the second you step through the door
    • “what gotten into you, tom?” you ask as he nips at your neck and collarbones
    • he freezes before shyly looking up at you, “I-I had a dream…about you…” he trails off
  • you nearly moan at the thought of him having dirty dreams about you
  • sloppy makeup sex 
    • both your actions would be so rushed, just wanting to be connected with each other
    • “fuck, I missed you so much babygirl,” 
    • him trying to make you come at the same time as him
  • as happy as he is to see you, he’s also exhausted and starving so you tell him to take a nap as you make something for dinner
    • “but I wanna nap with my girl,” he’d try to coax 
    • “after dinner,” you bargained as he let out a huff but agreed
  •  waking him up with head scratches 
    • whining when you stop and throw the blankets off him
    • not at all fazed by his naked body
    • him being surprised at you being unfazed because ????? 
  • him always trying to get you naked
    • “let eat dinner…..naked,”
    • “let’s play strip monopoly!” “not a chance tom,” “strip uno?”
  • “tom no”
  • “TOM YES”
  • he can be such a child, hiding all your left shoes or the toothpaste because it’s only a minor inconvenience 
  • whenever you’re at home with him and his family he becomes so much more british
    • “tom I can’t understand what you’re saying anymore”
    • “WHADYA MEAN M8″
  • him getting genuinely jealous when you pay more attention to tessa than him
    • “I’m spider-man though!!!!” he’d whine as you rolled around with tessa
    • having enough of your shit and picking you up, throwing you over his shoulder and bringing you to him room
  • when tom is sick its so much worse because he’s so much more clingy but you also don’t wanna get sick
    • “just a kiss on the nose, please darling” he’d beg as you sighed, finally giving him
    • tilting his head up so you end up meeting his lips instead
    • “if you get me sick i’m gonna kill you, holland”
  • you sitting on his lap because he loves having his arms wrapped around your body
  • if you were in public he’d always be checking behind your back for paparazzi’s because it was date night 
  • baking together becomes a tradition with you guys
    • him smearing icing down your nose before licking it
    • “you taste amazing, sweetheart,” him winking before you choke on a breath  
  • you lying in his lap in bed on nights you can’t sleep
  • so he begins playing with your hair and softly singing to because he knows that’s what puts you out like a light
  • waking you up with slopping kisses all over your face
  • you’re not a morning person so you don’t appreciate being woken up and put your pillow on your face
  • so he ends up eating you out and you can’t even get angry cause it was one of the best orgasms ever
    • “still hate me for waking you up?” he asks cheekily as you roll your eyes playfully
    • that day ends up full of sex, cuddles, and food
  • working out with him but he just ends up getting distracted by all your movements 
  • which leads to post workout sex
    • “your ass looks amazing in those pants, but it looks even better without them, darling,”
  • he secretly loves being domestic with you
  • like he loves doing laundry or cleaning the apartment and even going grocery shopping because he’s imagining your future
    • “you ever think about us? in the future?” he’d ask one day and he immediately regrets it thinking you’ll start freaking out
    • “all the time, bubs,” you say with a smile and he thinks his heart is gonna leap out of his chest
  • his parents and brothers already call you an old married couple
  • both of you agreeing that you’ve still got a long ways ahead of you before you wanna get married or start a family 
  • but you both want to 
  • you’re both each others rocks, always there no matter what time it is
  • sweet little kisses throughout the day 
    • like on the nose
    • or the forehead
    • of the top of your head
  • if you’re wearings rings he’s 100 percent going to play with them when he’s holding your hand 
  • he makes sure to bring you back a souvenir from each place he visits, even if it’s a magnet you love it so much 
  • sharing headphones while waiting for the plane to start boarding 
  • playing ‘guess the song’
    • “i lose every time though,” he’d whine but you just stuck your tongue out
    • purposely playing songs he doesn’t know just to see him pout
    • “you’re just too cute,” “i’m not cute, i’m hot,” “okay, tommy, whatever you say,”
  • him getting tipsy on the plane 
    • “let’s join the mile high club,” while giggling
    • “tom i’m trying to watch a movie,”
    • “and i’m trying to get laid,”
  • he’s actually such a child sometimes and you have to threaten him with no more sex until he finally calms down
  • if he has a random question he will ask you as if you have the answer
    • “how long are giraffes necks????”
    • “how do dolphins sleep with one eye open??”
  • poking your cheeks whenever you’re ignoring him 
    • “pay attention to meeeee,”
  • lying in between his legs on his chest because he insists on having you as close to him as possible
  • YOU’RE BOTH HEAD OVER HEELS FOR EACH OTHER AND ADORE ONE ANOTHER 

A/N: i died and came back then died again i h8 myself