i just want you to be in decent things omg

Consent Required

Context: Lengthy battle with undead and demons, Lia(Sorceress elf) really does not deal well with being surrounded and being hit. Has had enough, no longer thinking straight, she just wants to see blood now.

Lia: I want to rip its head off its shoulders. (Rolls Decently for touch attack and Rolls a Nat 1 for strength) DM: You firmly grasp the ghoul’s head, and pull it towards yours, the ghoul panics and tries to scream, his screams muffled as your mouth closes over his.

Lia: … Eeeeeewwwwwww Gross OMG

Fiver(Eladrin Rogue): *Throw up noises*

Alain(Human Cleric): *Face Palm*

Fluffy(Shifter Warden): *wets himself*

NEXT ROUND Ghoul Rolls successfully to push the sorceress off, and is comforted by other nearby ghouls, therapy is mentioned.


  • he’s an abuse survivor.  something that’s incredibly common  ( too common, ugh )  is men becoming territorial when they’re dating a woman with a son.  these are SHITTY MEN, mind you, not decent guys who want to be nice and good and loving.  given liz’s past, i’m gonna go ahead and assume she didn’t date a lot of winners.  so this is a DEFINITE headcanon of mine.
  • he shuts his eyes when people are physically affectionate with him, like he’s trying to commit the moment to memory. 
  • he’s wary of his mom  ( with good reason, lbr )  without being cruel to her.
  • he had to beg his father to let him stay for EVEN A MONTH.  rewatch ‘here comes the son’ if you don’t remember that heartbreak. 
  • he learned magic tricks to make his mom smile.  another headcanon of mine, but it’s wonderful and feelsy and my favorite. 
I’m Done, Like so Done

I have been waffling with this relationship, we go back and forth and back and forth. I think my problem is I tend to remember the fun times more than the shit times. Bad thing happen and then I freak out and refuse to talk to him.

The problem, I realized, is that he is so entitled and he just does not get it at all. He literally said to me “I don’t know that you really like me, I think you just want what I can offer to you”. Whaaaatttt?!

Okay mediocre white man, you make a decent salary and you are educated. You have an attractive face and you are semi-athletic. That’s about all you have going on.

You’re going to tell a woman who speaks three languages, is educated, is in peak physical condition, makes 2.5x what you make in a year, has a credit score over 800, is a good cook, and most of all isn’t demanding of things, that she is looking for what YOU have to offer? omg. I’m not saying I’m perfect because I am far from it but seriously. Please bask in your own mediocrity forever and be alone. He wants a woman to take care of him but also to be the breadwinner. Not going to happen bro