So I get a lot of anons from people asking why I appreciate joji, max, and ian so much. And there’s no simple way to explain it. They all help me in small ways that probably seem really fucking dumb but it still helps. Joji is my inspiration. His passion and motivation for music helped me realize how much I missed it, and how much I missed performing. Hearing his music and seeing the livestream of him at the Boiler Room just filled me with so much confidence. He’s a true success story-despite everything and everyone doubting him, he did it.
When I’m angry or depressed I watch Max because everything he does makes me smile. Every single one of his channels is hilarious in its own way and you can tell he’s so proud of himself. You can tell he loves what he does, and that he loves his subs, and he puts all of that love into his work. I truly wish he wasn’t so underrated. And after years of toxic friendships where I was constantly put down and abused, seeing him support Ian fills my heart with so much happiness. Their friendship made me believe that friends CAN support each other, and they can love each other without tearing each other down.
(This next part is sad and cringy so. be prepared.)
I often get severe panic attacks, during which I can barely move or even breathe. The most recent one was last night, but my worst one was about a month ago. I had just gotten an email from one of my professors saying I was failing the class- and I kind of just snapped. It was 2:45 in the morning, I was already delirious from having not slept in days and this almost killed me(figuratively and literally). While panicking, I accidentally clicked on the tab I was previously on- YouTube. Ian’s Kickstarter Crap: Toilets video was paused, right in the beginning. Needing to distract myself, I played the video and couldn’t stop. There was something about him that just calmed me down and made me feel like everything was going to be fine. Now, whenever an attack hits I immediately go to his channel, and it helps to calm me down. He makes me laugh during a period of time when all I want to do is die. I hate to sound cheesy but Ian probably saved my life that very first night because if I hadn’t kept watching his videos I don’t think I would have wanted to keep living.
So why this super long, extra ass post no ones gonna read? Because I’m worried. Now that people are coming on tumblr just to try and police others content, I’m scared I’m going to be exposed and vilified just for appreciating what they’ve done for me, especially Ian. I don’t try to come across as cringy and I’m sorry if I do- I only have respect for them. This community is so loving and caring, and I cherish every single friend I’ve made here- you know who you are and I’m love you. I know we joke around but we all have so much respect for Ian, Joji, and Max and for what they do for us and hopefully these fandom police will see that. I wish with all my heart that we could all just get along but i know we can’t and it makes me so sad. No matter what, I just want us all to be happy.
So, to sum it up- I love you all so much. I hope we can ALL rise above this petty business and go back to loving and respecting ian, max, and joji.
I really need some like, otayuri fluff in my life rn?? Like pls
•At the beach and Otabek cant swim so Yuri tries to teach him how to swim
•it turns into a giant mess tho because Yuri is apparently a really shitty teacher
•Otabek kisses his frustrations away and instead they make sand castles
•Otabek can draw?? What?? So Yuri lays down on the couch in the LEAST sexy pose and says “draw me like one of your french girls”
•Beka takes a whopping 5 minutes on it, coloring and all, and they laugh at it for 10 minutes
•Later when Yuri falls asleep during the movie at the other end of the couch, Otabek sneaks down and actually does a very nice portrait of Yuri asleep
•Yuri has them both framed in his apartment next to each other
•Yuri constantly buys shit for Beka because he has like no impluse control
•Guys this boy has like a $1,000 backpack okay dont talk to me
•Anyways one day he buys Beka this leather jacket that looks like it belongs in a Lady Gaga music video. Its a crop top jacket with studs and fringe EVERYWHERE and Yuri LOVES IT
•After mails it, like, a week later, Otabek posts a pic on instagram of him, leaning against his bike, in leather skinny jeans and the jacket with ray bands on and it goes like, viral over night. Yuri is s h o o k. Otabek texts him later like, “Oh, by the way, thanks for the jacket Babe”
Give me the boys being silly and stupid and in love p l e a s e
What new vegas features do you miss the most in f4?
honestly? the writing. New Vegas had excellent writing, from the plot to the characters to just the dialogue options available to the courier. Having a voice is nice but with the limited dialogue you just can’t roleplay the same way you could in NV. Sole can only either be a bit of a dick, a totally nice guy or a smartass, while the courier can be anything from a complete moron, to an insufferable know-it-all, a smooth talker, a bit of a slut, a violent brute, a sarcastic douche, a by-the-book hero, a quiet badass and anything in between.
And while we’re on dialogue, I really miss the Skill Check dialogue system from NV. You either had the skill needed to get certain things (or just finish quests on an alternate path) or you didn’t, and it was always clear because you got a display that told you how high of a skill you needed (like “Speech [25/30]). Most importantly, if you didn’t have the needed skill, the actual dialogue would change, giving a good reason why the NPC you were talking to would react differently than if you had said the right thing. Plus some of the failed dialogue checks were some of the funniest parts of the game.
In FO4, if you pass a speech check or not is determined entirely by chance. You can have a CHA stat of 10 and still fail. Then you reload, your character says the exact same thing in the exact same context to the same character at the same time AND NOW IT WORKS FOR SOME REASON. That’s annoying busywork and kind of breaks my immersion. They had the same thing in FO3 where your chance of success in speech checks was given in percentages and I didn’t like it there either.
I also like that the courier’s backstory was kept relatively vague, so you could make up your own story for your character. FO4 gives you a pre-baked background that is pretty lukewarm for my tastes and doesn’t leave much room to make up your own character interpretation (unless you do some hard retconning/headcanon action to get around that, but even then it’s not amazing).
But other than that, New Vegas generally just didn’t take itself as seriously as FO4. FO4 has all this big focus on how miserable everyone is and how shitty life in the wasteland is. There is so much drama with families being torn apart, everyone being afraid of the Institute, the Brotherhood stomping about the place, children dying of incurable diseases…it is all so dark and serious and miserable it gets exhausting after a while.
New Vegas has dark stuff too, with drug use, slavery, prostitution, bureaucratic fuckery costing lives, war crimes, lack of medical aid, lack of food and fresh water and power, economic inequality…i could go on. So it absolutely has serious and dark issues. I mean one of the companion characters mercy killed his pregnant wife to spare her the horrors of slavery for fuck’s sake.
But you know what it also has? Ghouls flying to the moon. A gang of grannies in pink dresses beating people to death with rolling pins. Cyberdogs. A big blue grandma who looks like hulk and wears a cute flower hat. A gang of elvis impersonators. at least two (2) robots who think they’re cowboys. People cosplaying ancient romans. A dude wearing a dog for a hat. A giant plastic dinosaur with a store inside that sells tiny plastic dinosaur souvenirs. A sexbot called “FISTO” that you can hire for yourself if you wish.
What I’m trying to say is, New Vegas had a lot of serious themes (I’d argue them being even portrayed better than in FO4 but that’s a matter of opinion). But at the same time it didn’t lose it’s sense of humor. This is a world where science can make people live 200 years, create super mutants by dipping people in green goo, and radiation is basically magic. It’s not super serious all the time or tragic. Might as well have some fun with it. Fallout has a long history of dark comedy after all.
FO4 kinda lost the humor aspect and maybe it’s personal preference, but I never liked media where everything is just sad and miserable all the time because you get kinda tired of it and desensitized after a while. I don’t hate it or anything, but it can never reach the same place in my heart fnv did ;-;
god sorry for the novel i could just talk about fnv all day
Omg your tags on you ore monogatari post. Imagine Nino having Marinette do the same thing and when she's done confessing Nino just looks under his bed and Marinette is like "What are you doing????" and Nino's goes "Just remembered there was something I needed to get...." and he just pulls Adrien out.
Based on this. Once again, thank you for reading my tags lol.