i just want someone to look at me like tony looks at ziva

Surprise Visitor

For the Anon who requested “Hey could you please do one where you’re Tony’s baby sister and you come to visit him at work and no one knew you existed. Thank you love your writing ❤️” 

A little bit implied McGee x reader but it’s mostly just a cute little Sister Tony blurb. Hope you all like it, I felt like I rambled a little too much but ah well. Tony’s sister is one of my favorite things to write for (*wink wink nudge nudge*)

People gave you odds looks as they past and you knew exactly why. Reason one; You probably were not supposed to be here. Reason two; you were currently lounging in a desk that wasn’t yours, reading a book and drinking a coffee. Reason three; you were far too relaxed for someone who did not even belong here. For examples see reason two. Reason four; everyone felt like they’ve seen you before, but none of them were sure were they might know you from.

“Uhm. Hello?” You glanced up from the book you’d been staying busy with and grinned, tilting your head to the side and looking over the man in front of you .

“Hey there.” You greeted, grin turning into your family famous smirk. You watched as the man became slightly flustered, unsure what exactly to do.

“That’s- That’s my book.” You glanced down at the novel in your hands and shrugged, tossing it onto Tony’s desk.

“Sorry, you left it out. I was bored.” He gave you an incredulous look, leaning forward to quickly grab the book, not taking his eyes off you. As he stared at you, you smirked again, giving him a moment to try and work it out.

“You look… Really familiar, have we met before?” Really? Could noone put two and two together? God you guys looked similar, you were sitting in his desk, you told him you’d be in town… Unless.

“(Y/N)?” You spun in the chair, smirk dropping and glare coming on full throttle.

“Anthony.” You stated. His face paled slightly and he looked from you to the other man who was still standing there confused.

“Anthony? What could I have done, I just got here! Probbie, what did you say to her?” You got up from your chair and rolled your eyes, glare only dropping slightly.

“He didn’t say anything because he doesn’t know who I am, did you not tell them!” Tony gave you a sheepish grin before shaking his head.

“Never came up?” Another eyeroll from your end before you opened your arms, “Well come on, I haven’t seen you in months, and so far this has been a pretty subpar hello.” Tony grinned widely before coming around his desk and enveloping you in a tight hug, lifting your feet from the ground momentarily.

“What is going on?” A woman with an accident asked from behind you, and while Tony continued to squeeze the life out of your body you heard the other man answer.

“I’m… not sure?” When you finally broke apart Tony kept an arm slung loosely around your shoulders, turning to his team and smiling brightly. You grinned as well and watched as it clicked on the other man’s face, his own mouth turning into a surprised ‘o’.

“DiNozzo.” Both of your heads jerked to the side, but your brother quickly dropped his arm from around you, standing slightly straighter.

“Yes boss?”

“No girlfriends in the office.” You both made nearly identical faces of disgust and you stuck your tongue out slightly with a small ‘eyuk’.

“I don’t think they’re dating boss, I think Tony has a family member he’s neglected to tell us about.”

“Right you are McGeek.” Tony gave the other man a dirty look, and you elbowed your brother in the side.

“Introduce me,” You demanded, “Before I actually start thinking you don’t want them to know I exist.”

“Right, Right.” Tony nodded, watching his team began to smirk at him. He crossed his arms moodily. “This is my baby sister (Y/N). Emphasis on baby, and sister, McGeek. Which means hands off. Not that I think my lovely sister has such bad taste as to-”

“Tony.” You quipped, rolling your eyes.

“(Y/N), This is my team, not my team, since Gibbs here is the boss, but that’s Ziva David, and Timothy McGeek.”

“Why didn’t you tell us you had a sister?” Ziva asked, raising an eyebrow. You turned to look at your brother, arms crossing over your chest as you smirked.

“It never came up! And besides McGeek never told us about his so it only seemed fair. (Y/N) and I have a very good sibling-ship going. I was not hiding her. I wasn’t hiding you! It’s just, It’s kinda like in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, I’m Ferris, and you’re Jeanie, and sure we love each other but we love to piss each other off more, and-”

“Shut up Tony.” You laughed, watching your brother flounder trying to find a suitable answer for everyone in the room. Tony listened to you at once, grinning sheepishly again, and McGee let out a low whistle.

“She can shut him up in two words, and we haven’t had a moment of silence in two years. I like her.” He announced. Tony sent him a glare, protective arm going around your shoulders.

“Better not like her too much.” You laughed, patting his chest slightly and grinning up at your brother. It was good to see him again, it’s been too long.

Say Hello

Read on FFN here

Washington, DC, USA

“You should contact him.”

McGee looked up from his computer and gave Bishop a sad smile. She had tried so hard to convince him over the past weeks, and she did not seem to be planning on giving up any time soon.

He sighed, “Bishop, we’ve been over this.”

She rolled her eyes at him, “If you would just stop being so stubborn.”

“I’m not,” he huffed.

“Look, if you won’t contact Tony about the wedding, I will,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

He shrugged, “Whatever.”


She started typing on her computer, but could still feel McGee’s gaze on her.

“Fine,” he huffed loudly.

She looked up at him, a sparkle in her eyes, challenging him, “Fine.”

Paris, France

The loud ping of his phone woke Tony up and he rolled over with a groan. He reached for his phone blindly and blinked as the bright light hit his eyes. An email notification had popped up on his screen. A small smile formed on his face when he saw who it was from.


The sleepy voice brought an even bigger smile to his face, the email suddenly less interesting than it had been a second ago. He put his phone back onto the nightstand and turned back around.

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The Admiral

“Why can’t you just be more like Gibbs?” His dad sighs and your mouth drops open. Is he KIDDING right now? You had to have misheard him or something.
“What did you say?” You ask ignoring Tim’s silent pleads to stay out of it.
“I asked my son why he can’t be more like his boss.” The Admiral says not even sort of ashamed that he’s humiliating his son in front of his coworkers, and girlfriend but he probably thinks you’re another NCIS Agent.
“That’s what I thought. And how dare you?” You say lowly but you know the rage is evident in your voice.
“Why does it matter to you?” The Admiral says coolly.
“Because I’m your son’s girlfriend and since he respects you he’s not going to say anything about what a massive dick you’re being.” Tim clears his throat and you hold up a finger. “Timothy I am not finished.” You say not looking at him. You can see Tony, Gibbs and Ziva in your sight line as well as his father but not him. Tony looks, shocked, is probably the best word for it. Ziva looks delighted and Gibbs looks, well, proud. “Tim is a good Agent. He’s brave, smart, loyal, and a good man. You should be proud that you raised a good man.”
“You don’t get to talk to me like this Agent.” The Admiral roars taking a menacing step toward you.
“Hey! Don’t raise your voice at me!” You snap, “Besides, I’m not an agent.” You smirk at him.
“Then I can have you thrown out of here.”
He threatens.
“You could but then I’d call my boss who’d call your boss then you’d get a really unpleasant phone call.”
“My boss is the President of the United States.” He scowls at you and you laugh.
“I mean your direct supervisor. The CNO.”
“Who answers to the president.”
“Who is my direct supervisor.” You say crossing your arms over your chest, “And she really likes me because her kids really like me.” He stares at you and you continue. “Gibbs is a good leader because he knows how to play to all of his teams strengths. If Tim was a mini Gibbs he’d never have survived on this team. He’s good at his job, he’s the best computer guy in this room and we adore him.” You shoot Tony a look stopping the joke on his tongue. “You should be proud of him. Not ridicule him.”
“At least someone knows how to stand up for him.” His dad mutters you march up to him and poke his chest.
“You’re not fucking listening to me.” Tim’s had enough and has wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you away from his father before the two naval officers with him get involved.
“Sweetheart calm down.” He murmurs into your hair before kissing the side of the crown of your head.
“He doesn’t say this shit because he loves you! You’re his father for crying out loud! I don’t give a shit what you think about me because I love your son and you hurt him! I don’t want to see the man I love get hurt over and over by one of the men he looks up to! That’s not fair! He’s a better man than you’ll ever be!” Tim still has his arms wrapped tightly around you but you’re so focused on his dad that you don’t notice the shift in his body language right away.
“You’re right.” His dad says softly. “I am proud of you Tim. I just want you to be the best version of you that you can be.”
“I know Admiral.” Oh god he can’t even call him dad? You roll your eyes but let it slide this time, the fact that you’ve won even a small victory here is enough. You’ll take it. His dad nods then leaves with his two officers at either side. Tim turns your body toward his and you rest your forehead on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” You tell him, “Not that I said it but where and how I said it.”
“I know. It’s okay. I do have one question.” You lift your head off his shoulder and look up at him. “You love me?”
“Hell yes I do.”
“Good.” He smiles, “I love you too.” He whispers into your hair before kissing you soundly to a loud whoop from Tony.

Utterly Perfect

Ziva’s finger tapped each box on the calendar as she counted back from the day that was currently dawning outside the little house. Her mind raced as she flipped the page to the previous month. She swallowed hard as her finger traced the days that he spent with her, a tear slipped from her eye and flashes of him danced in her memory. She could still feel his gentle caress and his whispers in her ear. His pleas for her to join him back home echoed loudly in the house. Her finger pushed past those days until she reached the day she was looking for and her free hand instinctively went to her stomach. Her eyes widened at the realization, she wasn’t just late, but she was very late.

“I cannot be,” she whispered to herself. “I just cannot be!” How was it possible that it had been forty-four days since her last period?! She had been so regular these days. And how had she missed that she was so late until now?

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Gift Exchange

His apartment is quiet.

His keys clank as they hit their dish by their door, his coat shrug off calmly beside them onto the old wooden table. He slides out of his boots as he smiles at his goldfish, reaching behind the glass bowl to feed her.

“Sorry to leave you alone all evening, Kate” he speaks softly as he leans over to look at the creature, small flakes trickling from his fingers onto the surface of the water below. “Boss insisted on the party at his place. And they would have noticed, of course, if I wasn’t there.” He stands back up, dusting off his finger tips on his thigh. “But hey, no need to be jealous of the attention. Tonight, it’s just you and me.”

A grim look appears on his face as he thinks about what he said.

He crosses the room to the couch, falling back into his usual corner seat. Glancing down, the emptiness of the couch seems vast. Like something is missing to make it real.

Or someone.

He sighs.

His thoughts always lead back to her.

She’s what needs to be there. She’s what’s missing.

But he knows he can’t change that. No matter how badly he wants her there, it’s not his choice to make.

Too consumed by his thoughts, he dozes off after a while, only to be woken later by the shriek of the landline. Startled, he reaches for the table nearby and answers it straight away. “Mhmm, yeah?” he mumbles.

There’s a pause before the voice speaks. “Tony? Did I wake you?”

A jolt of energy shoots through him at the familiar voice. “No no, Ziva, no. I, um-I just got in from the Boss’. His party ran a little late.”

“Tony,” she says suspiciously, “it is almost two in the morning there.”

Confused, he glances over at the wall to see the hanging clock’s little hand lingering by the 2. “Yeah, well, McGee is surprising good at keeping the party going.” He pauses for a moment, waiting for the white lie to sink in, when a thought pops into his head. “Wait, if you thought I would be sleeping, why did you-”

“You keep the landline in the living room, and you close the bedroom door at night. If thought that if you were asleep, you wouldn’t answer. You sleep like a tree.”

A small smile shows up on his face. “Log, Ziva. Sleep like a log.

“Well, the point is, you would not hear the phone if you were asleep. I was going to call earlier, when it was still Christmas Eve and not Christmas Day, but things got a little bit crazy, and I could not call.”

He frowns, worrying what such ‘things’ entailed. “May I ask what postponed this holiday phone call?”

“A bit of traveling troubles is all. Nothing new.”

“Oh, another country,” he relaxes, comforted by their usual course of conversation. “And to what exotic land do you enter now?”

She laughs, and his chest tightens at the familiar sound. “Oh, nothing exotic this time. Somewhat familiar territory. I have been able to get around on my own.”

“Good, good to hear,” he answers, her unknown whereabouts slightly dampening his smile.

A moment of silence falls between them, and he glances over at the tree decorated in the corner of the room, with a small box underneath.

“You know,” he begins, eyes still lingering on the box, “if you ever do feel like telling me where you are, it’d be great to send you something I think you’d enjoy. I found-”

“You got me a gift?” She interrupts him.

He pauses. “Yes, I did. And-” he says quickly, “before you interrupt, I know we have a ‘no-gift’ policy. But you aren’t here to enforce it, so I’m choosing to ignore that silly rule. We never see each other, we barely catch each other on the phone-please, just-” he takes a breath. “Let me send you this one gift.” He smirks. “Besides, it’s Christmas. You can’t say no to a DiNozzo on Christmas.”

There was nothing on the other end for what felt like hours, but was merely seconds.

“Alright,” she answers. “You can send it to me.” His smile widens at her approval.

“But,” she adds.

His smile starts to fade.

“You have to open mine first.”

His face scrunches in confusion. “Yours? You-”

“Yes, Tony. I…ignored the ‘silly rule’ this year as well.”

His face lights up at the thought, and suddenly he’s standing, pacing back-and-forth in front of the couch. “Oh! Okay. So, when can I expect it? Do you know when it’s getting in?”

She waits to answer.

“Open your door.”

He stops walking, and turns to face his front door. “Ziva, there wasn’t a package out there when I-”

“Tony,” she sighs. “Open. Your. Door.”

He tilts his head as he walks up to the door, carefully turning the knob, and pulling the door open completely.

The phone falls from his hand as it drops to his side.

Two large suitcases. A backpack. A royal blue jacket. A small black purse.

And a woman.


He is stunned, catatonic at his door, unable to move or speak, because she’s here.

A warm but smug smile branches out across her face as she watches him react. “Tony,” is all she says.

Hearing her voice, the world starts coming back to him, and the scene playing out begins to make sense.

He looks at all her items, then directly into her eyes, wonder pouring out from his own.

“You’re my gift.”

She laughs, then walks towards him, leaving only inches between their bodies. She looks up at him and tilts her head to the side, glancing down at his lips for a moment before returning to those bright blues she’s always loved.

“Merry Christmas, Tony.”


For whatcha-gonna-do-about-it-huh who requested Halloween angst with Gibbs

Tonight was supposed to be fun. One of your best friends was having a Halloween party at her house, and you’d gotten Gibbs to agree to go with you. You even got him to dress up, even if it was just T-shirt with a superhero logo on it, it was something.

Now you were more than half an hour late, and in the midst of the biggest argument your relationship has ever seen.

“You’re my boyfriend! Not my father! You don’t get the right to tell me what I can and cannot wear!” You shouted, for what felt like the hundredth time. There was only so many ways you could argue the same point over and over again before someone got exhausted.

“I didn’t tell you that you couldn’t wear it!” He snapped at you, throwing his hands into the air, “Stop putting words in my mouth!”

“Oh, right! Telling me that you refused to go a party with me when I’m dressed like this, wasn’t telling me to change?” You asked, following him back out of the kitchen and into the sitting room.

“No! It’s not!” Gibbs walked over to where you kept your drinks and started to pour himself a glass and you scoffed, throwing yourself down onto the sofa.

“That’s fine. Drink! Drink instead of actually trying to sort this out! You are so immature!”  You bit at him, regretting your words but God you were so mad. He gave you a dirty look and took a sip.

“You’re impossible to deal with sober.” He threw back and you felt like someone had stabbed you directly in the chest.

“All of this because of a fucking Halloween costume.” You spat, getting back off the sofa, and pushing past him to get to your bedroom. He followed.

“No, all of this because I don’t want to go to some party where I’ll have to watch grown men ogling my girlfriend all night!”

“Why does it matter who oogles me! I don’t oogle them back!” You cried, moving to your dresser and pulling out a pair of pajamas tossing them onto the bed. “I’m wearing a catsuit! I am covered from my ankles to my wrists! What else would you like covered, Jethro? My face?”

“Skin tight, (Y/N) I can see literally everything!” He put his cup on the dresser, coming towards you slightly. “What are you doing?”

“I’m spending the night at Alice’s. I’m going to the party, late, with or without you, and if it’s really without I’m going to go sleep at Alice’s.” You muttered, zipping up your overnight bag.

“Oh I’m the immature one?” He laughed bitterly, “You’re the one who’s running away from any sort of conflict!”

“This! Isn’t conflict!” You yelled, throwing your hands up, “Conflict is an argument about bills or something! This is you being controlling!”


“Yes! I get it! At work you’re in charge! That works for you and your team! I am not your team! I am your girlfriend and we are equals or we’re nothing!” You finally yelled at him, feeling hot tears on your face you turned away quickly. You hated being an angry crier, it made your point a lot less effective.

You felt hands on your shoulders and attempted to shrug them off, but they merely moved down your arms pulling you closer to him.

“You are my team..” He murmured to you, rubbing his hands up and down your arms in a soothing motion. You let out a choked sob and tried to walk away, but he continued, “You’re my teammate. My partner. I’m not your boss. But we are a team and we do things, we face problems together. We work together.” He kissed the spot where your neck became your shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I overreacted.” You muttered, sniffling softly. Gibbs laughed into the crook of your neck and placed a few more gentle kisses there.

“No, you needed to put me in my place.” He assured, “Now why don’t we go to your Halloween Party. I can’t promise you I won’t glare down every man that looks your way, but I promise not to leave your side.” You grinned and turned in his arms, giving him a soft kiss.

“Sounds like a plan, partner.” 

Tony DiNozzo

You were the younger sister of Timothy McGee. Like him, you were also an agent of the NCIS. You were three years younger than him. Your father never took care of you and your brother, he was too occupated with his work. Ever since you were in the NCIS, Gibbs always consider you like a daughter.

Your desk was in front of Tony’s one and beside Gibbs’ one. You replaced Ziva after she left to stay in Israel. Before working with Tony, Gibbs and your brother, you were working with Abby in the lab.

Today, you had no crime scene, it was calm, so you could help Abby with old proofs of old crime scene. As you examine a t-shirt piece, you hear the door open. “ Something for a crime scene boss ? ” “ No, just someone to see you ” you hear Tony says. You turn around. “Oh, I thought you were Gibbs, sorry ”. Tony smiles. You both walk upstairs. When you arrive, you saw a guy waiting at your desk “ Oliver ? ”. He turns around and you smile. “ Oliver ! I’m so happy to see you ! ”. He smiles and hugs you. You hug him back and you say" What are you doing here ?! “ ” I wanted to see you ! It’s been a while we haven’t see each other. I called your brother and he told me you were working with Abby today, so that meant that I could come and see you “. You smile and sit with Oliver and talk. You could see Tony looking at you. Was he jealous ?! No way, he couldn’t be, why would he be jealous ? You continue to talk with Oliver for a while, until he left to go to his work. When he left, Tony looks at you and says ” So, he’s finally leaving ! “. Tim looks at him and says ” Why are you saying that ? Oliver’s nice, he’ve always been “ ” Talk for you, he knows everything and nothing “ Tony says. You sigh and turns your eyes and sit at your desk. You continue to work and after a while, you felt Tony looking at you. “ Tony… Why are you always looking at (y/n) ” you hear Gibbs says, which confirm your doubt. “ I wasn’t looking at her boss! I was looking at the desk behind her and wondered why there was no one, that’s all ”. Gibbs nods but didn’t felt convinced.

Later in the day, you had a crime scene so you, Gibbs, Tony and Tim drive to it. When you arrived, you saw the dead body lying on the right side on the ground. It was a woman of maybe approximately 25 years. There was a lot of blood around her. She had a lot of cuts and bruises, which shows that she fought back. “ Dying at such a young age, disappointing, this woman could have lived so many things in her life, but seems like someone didn’t wanted this to happen ” you ear Ducky says. You nod in agreement and take pictures of the body while Tony takes some pictures of the scene and that Tim gives information to Gibbs. You help Ducky examine the body, because you also knew how to do autopsy and these things. “ I say she’s dead 18 or 24 hours ago ” “ Hum, I was thinking the same agent McGee ”. You continue to take picture and after a while, you all left.

In the car, Tony looks at you and says “ You know, I’ve been looking at your demarches today, ;why are you an agent while you could be a judicial anthropologist, risking nothing, just talking to dead body like Ducky does ” “ Because I like action, and as you just mentioned, there is no action in being an judicial anthropologist ”. You say him nods while smiling. After a while, you squeeze his hand “ You know, we all see that the left of Ziva is affecting you… More than all of us. Normal when the person you love stays away from you for an indeterminate period of time ”. He squeezes back you hand and give you a little smile. You both continue to talk until you arrive back to the NCIS.


[Few Weeks Later]

[Tony’s POV]

It’s been few months that Ziva left and, even if I couldn’t believe it, I fell in love with another person, (y/n). I didn,t knew how I fell in love with her, I mean, I was in love with Ziva for so many years and now that she’s gone, my heart was falling in love with another girl. But I didn’t want Tim to know! He would kill me! But I didn’t wanted to be heartbroken again. So I decided that today I would tell her. Today, she was working with Abby with proofs. I walk to the lab and saw her working on a bomb. “ Hey (y/n), mind if I talk to you, in private? ”. She nods and we walk to a hidden place of the lab, part that I never saw before. I sigh and when she turns around, I started to talk. “ You know, I’ve look at you lately and, I know it might sound strange, but, I’m in love with you ”. She looks at me with shiny eyes. Without saying anything, she kisses me. I kiss her back and put my arms around her waist and she puts her arms around my neck. We kiss for few seconds until she broke the kiss. “ I love you to DiNozzo ” she says. I smile and kiss her back.

Father’s Day

Tony thought that he may have groaned louder than the train coming to a stop at the Gare du Nord rail station. He wondered if train seats had always been so hard or if he was just lucky enough to be the one seat that hadn’t been replaced since the 1970s. A yawn escaped him as his hand gentle rubbed the back of the little girl who was snuggled, sleeping against his chest. Tali had crawled into his lap only an hour after they had left the station in Berlin the previous night and hadn’t budged since. He had spent most of the ride committing everything about her to his memory, just as he had done from the first moment he had laid eyes on her. The way her eyebrows furrowed in her sleep and her pouty little lips puckered as if she had just tasted something sour. The way her curls would brush across her brow when her little head shifted on his chest. She had her stuffed puppy tucked under one arm and her other was wrapped tightly around his bicep. He thought he could stay in that position for the rest of his life and be happy.

“Do you need help, Monsieur?” The question came in annoyed, clipped English.

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I hardly ever add text to my caps but I had to here. 

Just look at him. Just look at the way he is looking at her. Ever since they met he is always trying to find something out about her life, constantly digging and digging. When he does actually learn something new, he just becomes completely engrossed in her and her everything. He looks so happy to be able to picture life before NCIS, kinda make a connection to her before he even met her. I am probably talking a load of crap here but I can’t help but watch him watch her when he is taking in all this information about Ziva. I want to know what’s going on in his head at this moment. 

To have someone so interested in you and your life is something she could have had. Her dad had 0 interest in her life, she’s never had that. And just across the table, and for years, across the room from her sat a man who smiles like a god dam idiot and concentrates so hard when he learns something new about her.

Again, I am sad. I am sad that this is all forgotten about. Not only was he interested in her past, he was involved in her present and suddenly not even remotely interested in her future. Makes no sense to me and no matter how many times I try to understand how this has all ended up, I just can not. 

Yearning, a Tony/Ziva fic.

note: It’s here, it’s here. An extension of this post. Thanks to Jessica and also to my sister.
ffn link: (x)
summary: “Jimmy and Breena had their kid. A little girl, Holly.” He can’t stop thinking about a perhaps similar little girl with dark brown eyes and wild curls who might just call him Daddy. ; When Jimmy and Breena’s baby is born, Tony makes the call he should’ve made a long time ago.

The baby’s fussing by the time he gets his turn. Abby’s squealing in his ear as his arms slide round the tiny newborn, and he wonders if his friends can all sense his uncertainty. He can feel the little girl tense in his arms, and he cringes in anticipation of the inevitable scream.
As quickly as it happens, though, she relaxes, and he smiles in relief before gently rocking her.

"Welcome to the family, Holly.” he murmurs, looking up to find Jimmy beaming at him. Breena’s sat in bed, suitably exhausted but smiling nonetheless; her husband sits next to her, arm wrapped round her shoulders.

McGee shifts to Tony’s right, and he looks back down to the girl almost sadly at the prospect of letting her go.
Her eyes are wide, a shade of bright blue that he can’t seem to look away from, and her slow blinks make him smile. He can feel her gentle breathing against his palm; sense the slight twitches of her arms as he makes to move her. She’s somehow captivated him and she’s not even a day old yet.

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Make Room (Tony/Ziva)

Note: Hey look I wrote a Tiva fic. Haven’t done that in a while. It’s mostly a conglomerate mess of sudden feels and fatigue. Set post-departure. Enjoy. 

He just can’t seem to piece it all together; her, and him, and blame, and the distant but ever-present possibility of happiness. They don’t all fit in this world, and in the end, one piece of the puzzle just has to leave to make room for the others.

He never imagined it would be her.

He’s spent so many Saturdays pretending that maybe, just maybe, he heard a knock at the door. And in his mind, he imagines having that conversation. Some nights, he is gentle with her, and they talk about everything, into the small hours of the night. Some nights, he can barely choke out her name. And on others, the only words that fall from his mouth are those muffled against her skin between kisses. Sometimes, it’s so real that he can almost feel her in his arms, so much smaller than he remembers.

He remembers reading something once that said each time a person remembers something, it becomes more and more distorted, for they are only recalling the last time they remembered it, and not the thing itself. He tells himself this is the reason why he tries not to think about her, and them. It is far more favourable than the truth, which simply is that it is far, far too painful.

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Apologies for the delay, but here is is part 3 of the 4-part mini-fic series. Here are part 1 and part 2

The creak of the floorboard at the top of the stairs formally announced his arrival, though his presence had no doubt been noted long before. Tony paused briefly and looked down at his boss, illuminated by the warm glow of the lamps as he remained transfixed on the whittling before him.

A pensive exhale, reminiscent of a sigh, escaped Tony as he began the descent. His footsteps landed heavily and lingered upon each step as he rehearsed the conversation he was about to initiate for the umpteenth time in his head.

He made his way over to the table, the gentle, rhythmic ‘shhk shhk’ of the rasp against the wood providing a soundtrack as he stood contemplating where to start. It had been almost three weeks since he had seen or spoken to the man in front of him and Tony was already anticipating a scolding of sorts for his obvious avoidance. He could feel himself beginning to fidget as he brought his hands together and cleared his throat.

'You just going to stand there Dinozzo?’ came the familiar voice, Gibbs lifting his head to look at his most senior agent.

'Ah, hi Boss’, Tony replied, 'I guess you’re probably wondering what’s been going on the past few weeks?’

Tony knew better than to wait for a response, his boss cocking his head and raising an eyebrow ever-so-slightly, indicating that an explanation was indeed necessary.

'Ziva’s back’, he announced matter-of-factly, deciding that there was no easy way to broach the topic, 'and I know, I should probably have told you or got her to call you but…well…’

Nerves suddenly took a firm hold and Tony paused and swallowed hard, averting his eyes as he considered how to proceed. He could feel Gibbs’ unwavering gaze and he knew that he would wait for as long as necessary for Tony to continue.

'I guess it’s probably easiest to say that things between Ziva and me…I mean since the last time…I guess it’s complicated. Or it was’, Tony tried to explain, becoming increasingly frustrated at himself for feeling like a teenager trying to justify his behaviour. And so, in an attempt to start over he added, almost bemused, 'what am I doing?’, before dropping his hands and pulling a stool to the table and taking a seat next to his mentor.

'Boss, you told me once, right here in this very room, not to be like you. At the time, I don’t think I fully understood what you meant. But these past 12 months, personally, they have been tough. And I know they’ve been tough on all of us, but I also know that not much gets past Leroy Jethro Gibbs so I’m fairly sure that you know how I feel about Ziva. These last three weeks, I needed that time with her to figure out what this all means- her, me, her and me together. I didn’t tell you because to be honest, I wasn’t sure if there was anything to tell’. 

'So?’ Gibbs responded, 'is there something to tell me now, Tony?’, bringing the old jar to his lips and taking a swig of the amber liquid.

'I’m putting in for an extended leave of absence from NCIS’, Tony explained, though he realised the news did not appear to take his boss by surprise. 'I really want to make this work Gibbs, and I think that the best way to do that is for Ziva and I to be somewhere where we can just 'be’ for a while. I’ll stick around until we find someone to take my place but I…need to do this’, he finished.

Gibbs stared into his empty drink, mulling over the words, 'how is she?’

Slightly thrown by the question, Tony answered, 'Ziva? Good, she’s doing well, Boss. She is going to come and see you…’

’…in her own time’, Gibbs finished knowingly with a small half-smile, before lifting his eyes to meet Tony’s and rising to his feet.

Tony mirrored the action and looked down to see Gibbs’ outstretched arm.

“It’s been a pleasure. You’ll be missed’, Gibbs said sincerely as the two men shook hands, before adding, 'I’m proud of you, Anthony’.

Risk, a Tony/Ziva fic.

note: Thanks to a bunch of people, but especially to Allison because I rambled at her.
ffn link: (x)
summary: “I… I have to leave.” And just like that, he knows what to do. ; A mildly AU fic in which they’re on the run together, and all the difficulties they encounter.

The first thing he takes in when he wakes up is that his head hurts. His temples are pounding and his limbs feel heavy and god he wants that incessant knocking to stop.
It’s when the blurry red haze of his alarm clock comes into focus that he realizes someone really is knocking.

A 4am house call can’t be good, he knows, so he stumbles to his feet and runs a hand through his hair as he pads heavily to the door, pulling it open right away after checking the person on the other side.


Before he can say another word she’s clutching at him, lips pressing against his messily as she pins him to the side wall by his door. The kiss is rough and hurried and he thinks it’ll leave his lips bruised. He doesn’t know why this is happening or why she’s chosen now but he doesn’t dare stop her, merely wraps his arms round her waist and relishes in the heat of her breath on his skin.
When she pulls back, he’s sure he can see tears in her eyes.

“I… I have to leave.”

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Eight Ways - Tony/Ziva

Note: So, I wrote Tiva. That hasn’t happened for a while. Anyway, hope it doesn’t suck. I’m a little rusty with those two idiots. Based on this post [x]


He used to keep count of this stuff – the stupid fights, about petty things. Keeping count was simple when problems could be solved by blatantly ignoring them. Stubborn refusal is no longer a tactic at his disposal – the game of relationships is a different one entirely. One in which he promised honesty to himself, and to her.

He sees no point in stalking through the office all hurt inside when that’s clearly not the solution. But talking, communicating, is so goddamned hard. It’s exhausting. And now he’s run out of fingers to count the number of stupid fights on.

The more whiskey he choked down, the less guilty he felt. A bad work day had turned into a worse evening. There was some shouting, some door slamming, and a whole lot of that sick feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach when he knows he’s screwed up. And he just wishes it’d go away, because they’re both as terrible at this as each other. Screwing up is what they do sometimes. But it always gets fixed, one way or another. So far, the solution is worth the heartache. The good days are worth every dreary raincloud in their sky.

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“Come on!” Tony pleaded, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him.
“Tonyyyy…” She gritted through her teeth, bare feet hitting the wet sand.
“I do not want to get this dress all wet,” she complained.
“Did Ziva David just sound like a girl?” He smirked, teasing her when he received a glare.
“I like this dress, Tony” she reasoned.
“So do I,” his body pressed up against hers.
Ziva wrapped her arms around his neck, staring into his emerald eyes “it is good to be back…”
“Christ, I was going to lose my fucking mind if you stayed one more minute in Israel” Tonys eyes grew closer to hers as he brought his forehead to rest on hers.
“How many other women did you bring to this little hide away on the beach while I was gone?” she questioned and saw the defeat in his eyes.
With a discontented sigh, Tony spoke “None. I swear to god, Zi…ask anyone, you were the only person on my mind for a year. I just couldn’t function or move on…” His pupils watched as hers soundly became cloudy.
Knowing something was up and the unusualness in her demeanor, he stepped back, unhooking his arms from around her waist “why….did you..did you see someone?” He coughed the words out, not wanting to believe this was how things were going tonight. For the past year, he’d spent every night dreaming about what he was going to do with his ninja when she set foot back in the country.
“Tony, I…” She paused, crossing her arms and rubbing them as she caught a cold chill “I had a date…”
Every feature on his face fell and Tony looked up at the sky, the sunlight hitting the horizon over the water.
“Tony,” Ziva sternly stated, “Tony, look at me… Do not shut me out now,”
He gave out a deep side before glaring at her. The look made her heart grow cold and tears fill in her eyes, “I went to dinner with an extremely nice man. He was cracking jokes and being very charming, but” she watched Tony look away “but he suggested we go back to place and watch a movie…” She watched him step back away from her, still looking away.
“Tony, I left before our dinner even arrived to the table”
Tony moved to face her again, she could see all the emotions going on in his mind “why…why’d ya leave?”
She moved closer to him, bringing her palm up to caress the side of his face and noticed how he leaned into her touch “Because, Anthony Dinozzo Jr…” she smiled “in that moment, I realized that I felt like I was cheating on you. No, we were not together, but the idea of dinner and a movie with a man who isn’t you, really made me realize that the only man I want to do that with is you..” Her thumb moved around his jaw “and the only man who can make me truly laugh… is you”
He chuckled, kissing her hand “Ziva David, are you admitting that I can make you laugh better than he could?”
A smile crept on her face knowing he understood and she giggled “He was funny, yes? But, he was not you.” She smiled up at him, her eyes giving him all the answers he needed to know.
Before she could react, Tony leaned down and connected their lips together. It was soft at first, neither of them barely moving. Quite different from the kiss they shared on the tarmac in Israel that was filled passion and need. Now however, was filled with love and new beginnings as they started to move against each other’s mouths. Tony stroked her bottom lip with his tongue, her mouth letting him in and groaning at the contact.
Moments later, the kiss heated up and Ziva pulled away. Her forehead rested against his, both trying to regain their breath.
“It’s been too long since we last did that,” He nipped at the bare skin on her neck.
“I have been waiting for you to kiss me again,” Ziva giggled, moving her head to allow him better access as he sucked at her pulse point.
Tony lifted his head and grinned at her. His eyes telling her all she needed to know.
“I am glad you waited for me,” she grabbed his hand and interlocked their fingers as they started walking back towards the beach house.
“I’d wait forever, sweet cheeks” he squeezed her palm.
“Good to know you were not just selling out because of this dress,” she teased.
“It does looks beautiful on you, but…. I wonder how it would look off you” Tony smirked, raising his eye brows suggestively at her.
Just then, Ziva broke free from his hand and started running in the sand ahead of him. “Catch me if you can Dinozzo,” she smirked.
“Hey! That’s not fair!” he started to chase after her.
“Is the hair on your butt slowing you down, mon petit pois?” Ziva giggled, run faster towards the beach house.
Feeling his lungs needed to recuperate, Tony slowed down and watched as the love of his life kept giggling like a little girl as she ran into the beach house.
Damn, this was a beautiful life.

Final Shot-(T/Z)

 So I’m not entirely sure what this is. It was supposed to be for Jae’s birthday, but then I got behind and it got weird. So here ya’ go fandom and happiest of belated birthdays to our dearest Jae

He can hear her staring at him and he knows that when he turns around she’ll still be in her nightshirt, basked in the glow of the hallway. The goodbye he’s saying right now is hard enough. The next will only be harder.

“Are you trying to wake her?” she asks, voice low and barely there.

He sighs; he’s really not. He drops one more kiss on her forehead and then pushes himself up from her bed. He’ll see her soon; he will.


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Loyalty (Tiva Drabble)

A/N: During my recent re-watch, I noticed that 3x09 Frame-Up would have been better with a scene between Tony and Ziva while he was locked up. So here it is: a missing scene between our favorites when they were still getting to know each other. Enjoy. :) 

She should have gone home to her apartment.  Showered. Rested. Gibbs was going to work them hard again in the morning.

When does he not, Ziva wondered. She didn’t mind it so much at the moment. This was no ordinary case. One of his own was charged with murder, and the response from the team had been…

Well.  It was refreshing.  These Americans…they were loyal to each other, their team.  In Mossad, loyalty was to country, first and foremost, and everything else was to the success of the mission, regardless of collateral damage.

She was still getting used to it at NCIS.

And she really should have gone home. Except that Gibbs had mentioned how badly his Senior Field Agent was handling the situation, and now her new mini was zipping through darkened D.C. in the wrong direction of home, and she was allowing it.

Visiting hours were long over at the FBI holding facility, but when it was clear she wasn’t leaving until her request was granted, the guards chose against waking their superiors and let her in to see Tony.

What a sight it was.

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I have been quiet since Cote’s departure of NCIS and I’m definitely not going to make this about what I think or don’t think at all here. But seeing how Michael Weatherly and Anthony „Tony“ DiNozzo are being treated in this whole mess, I’m losing my good will to stay quiet so I’ll leave this here on my blog now.

I loved Tiva and I liked the Ziva character a lot. Cote is a fine actress and so on. I try to respect everyone and every opinion and let people do whatever they think it’s the best for them. But whenever I read posts or comments from people about this situation with Cote and how the show has gone „downhill“ without her, I’m having a hard time to find that respect to be honest.

1. Michael Weatherly does not depend on Cote de Pablo
2. Anthony „Tony“ DiNozzo does not depend on Ziva David
3. NCIS does not depend on Cote de Pablo and Ziva David

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