The lovely @crossedbeams tagged me to celebrate a female friendship that is important to me and I’m going to try doing that!
I’m just going to start out by accepting the fact that this won’t be nearly as eloquently written as I want it to be. I don’t even know what to write, and reading the other #FemaleFriendshipFriday posts makes me happy while scaring me to death, but I will try and see where this takes me..
I’m used to being around people who don’t lift each other up but instead tear each other apart - and I’m part of this. I see no point in denying it. I used to think I had a healthy, strong relationship to my mom, but a lot of things made me realize that it wasn’t so. We love each other but we have stopped speaking the same language. My hope is that we can find a common ground someday. My family is complicated. But I wouldn’t know what to do without my older sister. She’s without doubt the reason why I’m here today. She challenges me, she keeps me grounded, she makes me see more clearly, she makes me relax, and she makes me hopeful. There tend to be some kind of barrier between us, and I’m not sure we’d be friends if we weren’t sisters, but we are sisters, and it makes me grateful. We couldn’t be more different, I’m fire and she’s water, but it’s magic when we make it work, and we do.
I also have a little sister, and it’s scary how much we are alike, which makes our relationship complicated. Two Nannas are 1,5 too many. But I love her so incredibly much, and I’m finally starting to be in a position where I can be the sister I’ve wanted to be for such a long time.
The reason why I’m able to do that is because of you. The women of Tumblr.
I was a completely other person when I first got here. I didn’t really have a sense of direction, I’m not sure I do now, but I feel more comfortable with not knowing. All of you inspire me to do better, to help, to be more selfless, to show up and do my best, to be more honest, and all of you represent something I aspire to be. All of you mostly lift each other up and it’s fantastic and inspiring to see - much needed too.
I am not who I want to be but hopefully I’ll get there.