i just want an apartment ; ;

anonymous asked:

Can I ask a mini fic or scenario where unknown breaks into Mc's apartment but Mc is quite loopy (like from meds w side affect or maybe she's a bit drunk) but like she's super affectionate, so she leans against him or rubs up against him cuddling and nuzzles into him innocently, and plays w his hair and boops his nose etc Just silly affection, but she does this as unknown takes her all the way to mint eye, so then he's just in front of rika with mc leaning against his shoulder all happy

Hello~! I’m not sure if this is quite what you want, but it’s still pretty cute, I think~! Hehe!

– R.I.


God, where is this woman??

6 hours. He’d been waiting for her for 6 hours. Granted, it wasn’t like she was supposed to be quietly waiting for me to break into her apartment to scare her, but- but… Okay, no that actually sounds reasonable. Never mind.

A part of him was a bit worried if you’d found out about his plans somehow, and you’d already taken shelter with one of the RFA members. But he decided to wait it out for a while longer. According to his research, you were always home by 12 in the morning.

Finally, the door unlocked, and he could hear the jangling of your keys as you pushed through the door. Before he could step out creepily, he could hear the bounce in your steps as you skipped through the entrance, shutting the door closed behind you. Well, you seemed to be a great mood.

(Or he’s just in a bad mood, after being left to wait 6 hours to scare you. At this rate, maybe he should just stay for a sleepover or something. He deserved it lololol)

Unknown stepped out from the shadows of the wall he hid behind, a sinister glint in his eyes as he eyed you carefully. “Well, well, well… Look what we have he-“

You notice him and jump over to him excitedly. “Ohmigosh! I didn’t see you there!!” you exclaim happily. “Welcome to my humble abode~ Let’s play!”

A bit offended by your lack of reaction, he furrowed his eyebrows in frustration. I swear I had the creepy act perfected. Why is it not working?

You sniffed him, then suddenly pressed your nose into his chest, wrapping your arms around him. “You smell soooo nice~” you sigh dreamily, burying yourself into his scent.

“Are you… drunk?” he asks cautiously, feeling a bit overwhelmed. This was not going according to plan. In fact, it was the opposite. You were creeping him out.

“Drunk? No way, I don’t drink!” you glare at him for his assumption. “But I diiid just grab a niiice cup of coffee from Jaehee earlier… Seven was there too!! He was acting a bit weird though, he laughed the entire time…”

My stupid, idiotic brother must have put drugs into her coffee… Unknown realized, mentally facepalming. He figured that the caffeine’s effect on making you act hyperactive plus an enhancement drug probably brought you to this… unrefined state.

“Well, come on, let’s go,” he stated, dragging you to the window.

“What? No! You just got here,” you pouted, tears welling up in your eyes. “You smell so nice, please don’t leave…”

His cheeks reddened, embarrassed by what you had said. “Sh-shut up already!” he mustered a weak glare at you, which only served to make him look absolutely adorable.

You giggled at the sight, and raised your hand to his nose. “Boop!” you pressed his nose. “Daawwh, you’re so cute~”

Annoyed (no, he’s actually enjoying this, guys), he drags you to the window, where a safety line has already been attached. He holds you in his arms, (in which you lean into his chest because man, he has some nice muscles) and jumps out the window.

“WHEEE!!” you screamed as you felt the wind blow against your skin from the force of your fall.

“ARE WE DYING TOGETHER LIKE JACK AND ROSE?” you shout. “BUT I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU YET!! CAN YOU WAIT??”

Seriously? That’s what you’re worried about? Unknown mentally sweat-dropped from your random statement. No, more importantly, what do you mean by yet? I’m kidnapping you, woman. What the hell are you going on about?

Finally, the two of you land on the grass, and he takes the brunt of the fall on his back. You lie on top of him, feeling the aftereffects of the fall in your head—you felt a bit dizzy.

“Are you okay?” he cautiously asked.

“Man, you’re a weird kidnapper! Who asks their victim if they’re okay?? This isn’t like the movies at all… or maybe you’re just a nice guy!” you wonder out loud.

Well, at least you were aware that you were being kidnapped.

He leads you to his car, and puts it into autopilot as you hop into the passenger seat cheerily, swinging your legs. “THIS IS COMFY! You have good taste in cars, Mr. Kidnapper~” you compliment him. “And the car smells just as nice as you, wow!”

Again, his heart seemed to skip a beat. “You… you’re really… strange,” he muttered, suppressing a blush from spreading across his cheeks.

You crawl over to his side of the car, and sit on his lap. “Hehe~ you’re even more comfortable, Mr. Kidnapper,” you mumble as you hug his chest, suddenly falling asleep.

His heart beat insanely fast, but you were already close to losing consciousness.

“Your heartbeat… sounds nice,” you yawn before the darkness faded in.

One can only imagine how flustered Unknown became throughout the ride back to Mint Eye Headquarters.

Christ that hurt.

Rob is going to break. He’s trying so hard to be ok and to keep it together and make jokes and I don’t think I can watch him find out how long they have to be apart.

And Aaron. Oh god he’s shaking he’s so scared and frustrated because he doesn’t want to leave, he’s practically clinging to Rob’s back. He’s trying everything he can to prepare himself and he just wants reminders of home.

Hurts like a MF. Jesus Christ. Screw any of the angst they’ve gone through before, THIS right here is the worst.

Kind-of-Girlfriend, Kind-of-Enemy

#20 - “You’re so sexy when you’re mad at me.”
- ruby x reader, requested by @blacksiren for my two year drabbles

“What the actual fuck?”

You’d just stepped into your apartment, wanting nothing more than to kick your shoes off and relax, only to see your kind-of-girlfriend, kind-of-enemy lounging on your couch.

“Oh, come on,” Ruby grinned, getting to her feet. “Is that any way to greet the love of your life?”

“Love of my- for fuck’s sake,” you grumbled, toeing off your shoes and letting your hair down. “Do you know what kind of day I’ve had?”

“Well, yeah,” she shrugged, walking over to you. “You had to deal with demons. Must’ve been tough.”

She draped her arms across your shoulders, smiling as you frowned at her.

“How did you know?”

Ruby smirked. “I was asked on the job. Turned it down, though.”

You glared at her, caught between pushing her away and pulling her close, slamming your lips to hers.

“You’re so sexy when you’re mad at me,” she told you, grinning as she brought you closer, kissing you forcefully.

I really love our downtown studio apartment so much, but I’m starting to love the idea of a small house just outside of downtown.

I’m going to be working from home full time soon, and I just don’t have enough space here for the “office” area I’d like. I want a nice setup with two monitors for streaming and enough space for my mic and some of my plushies/ amiibos and a cute background of gaming stuff for my videos.

plus we’ve gotten a couple of noise complaints bc we like our tv/ movies nice n loud, so a lil house would be so nice since we wouldn’t have neighbors close enough to disturb.

plus we could get a puppy (✿◠‿◠)

Friendly Competition (TEASER)

Summary- In which two life long friends make a silly bet, that starts as a joke, unknowing it would turn into something that will eventually tear them apart.

AN- So this is a little teaser for something I am planning, hope you guys enjoy. Also this is a flash forward, the actual story will start nearly a year before.

MASTERLIST  REQUESTS  PROMPTS

JUNE 2017

“You’re unbelievable. You know that?”

Her fingertips, which were just about touching the bar of the fire door, retreated immediately. Past intentions of wanting to get out of the building, and away from him, were forgotten.

He needed to be put in his place.

“Me?”

Turning around, her hair which was currently pulled up in a high pony, flicked onto her other shoulder.

“What about you! These past few months you have done nothing but publicly humiliate me!”

Both of their eyes, which were complete opposites in colour, narrowed. The tension was thick in the air, and would be clear to anyone who was near. Luckily for them, everybody was perfectly fine in the theatre, watching Peter Parker swing around New York.

“It was just friendly competition, or don’t you remember?”

She scoffed, crossing her arms and jutting her hip out.

“It was a fucking joke Tom. Or don’t you remember.”

Tom ran his hands through his previously neat hair, pulling slightly at the ends in frustration. Frustration she caused, because in his mind this entirely her fault.

“No, you probably don’t remember, because your jealous ass couldn’t take someone being better than you!”

Just as she was about to leave again, her fist turning white as it was clenched around the bar, he grabbed her arm. She span into him, her hand resting on his chest, before she shrugged him off.

“Because I’m always second best to you!”

She took a step back, the door opening slightly at the pressure of her body on it.

“In everything, you’ve always been hotter, a better dancer, singer, always got good grades. So I thought finally, acting is something I can do better-”

A laugh left her mouth as she turned away, one foot out the door.

“I’ve always been second best to you.”

Looking over her shoulder, one last time before she left his life forever, she replied.

“Oh darling, what makes you think you’re as high up as second?”



PERMANENT TAGS

@bucky-with-the-metal-arm @johnmurphys-sass @princess-scamander @latenightbooknerd @tomhollandlibrary @fandom-flash @spawn-of-the-devil

anonymous asked:

Alright what in the world is gonna happen with Fitzsimmons? Do you think we'll see Jemma try and make alternate Fitz realise? Will they even know each other? Will she be alive in her grave? Are we going to see them fall in love again? I just hope they aren't in there for too long because I want to see their relationship develop not be torn apart again! (Although I'm guessing this means women on fire?!!!)

HI Anon!

Literally we have SO many options on the table its rally hard to narrow it down.  So here are a few things I’ve got to toss onto theory mountain.

First HERE is my Meta on Jemma not being in the grave.  

Originally posted by chinesebakery

  • “In no Universe does Fitz NOT want to Marry you” and it is indeed Jemma he’s helping out of the Car.  
    • This puts Jemma in prime position to get the Fitz she knows and loves back  Helping him find that loyalty, kindness, and compassion that she fell in love with.
    • Its also gut wrenching because Jemma will have to play along.  Not only with a Fitz she doesn’t know but those around him.  (That quote from Jed at SDCC where loving someone means you have to take their families too…well she’ll have to deal with Papa Fitz and/or Radliffe here…and be civil).  Despite both of these men hurting Fitz dearly in the Real World…in the Framework they likely haven’t.  Then throw Big Bro Ward into the mix.  Jemma will have her work cut out for her.  
    • This also gives Jemma a glance at the life they would have had if they hand’t gone out into the field and on the Bus.  
  • Aida went for the jugular and wiped over a decade worth of memories from him and he never met and doesn’t know Jemma.
    • This allows us to see him fall in love with her all over again.  They can drag this out even longer in that not only does Jemma have to get close to him again personally she just has to get close to him period.  He’s got bodyguards, its not like she can just walk up to him on the street.
    • This option is just an all around kick in the feels that I REALLY don’t want but its AOS so that kind of pain is totally on the table.  
  • The hand belongs to a Rando.
    • AOS writers…ya’ll remember the firestorm that was Space Rando.  And how you said you were done with that kind of stuff for them (I also believe amnesia was on that list.  For the love of all things DO NOT GO THERE AGAIN!
    • If IF its Framework Rando, its just that, a Framework Rando and will mean nothing once he’s out.  
    • I also really don’t like this option because we need to stay away from anything about Jemma “winning him back” from another woman.  Just..NO.
  • The hand belongs to Agnes.
    • I don’t think if it is she is with Fitz, rather Radcliffe.  We have to remember Radcliffe gets some sort of story in all this and he did see Fitz as his surrogate son.  AIDA could totally give that to him with the bonus of Agnes being at his side.  
    • Fitz was just being a gentleman and helping his surrogate step mom out of the car.  
    • AIDA doesn’t seem to be in the Framework, though she could pop up in there once she realizes Jemma and Daisy are in there.  And even if she does she’s not going to be romantically after Fitz.  She’s got them all as hostages, she can tell the girls to get out or she’ll forcibly remove those she has and destroy them.  

No matter how this goes down with Fitzsimmons here are the key points to get us through.

  • MARRIAGE is now the endgame.  Fitz wants to propose.  Jemma will say yes.  And she is going to tell him so when she gets him back.  
  • Just as Fitz dove through a hole in the Universe to get her back…Jemma dove through a hole of her own, into an unknown world to save him.  (yay parallels).
  • What happens in the Framework, while feeling real there is distinguishable once the person is back in the real world.  Yes there will be fall out but they know it didn’t really happen.  
Coming Home Chapter 6 (Shalaska) - Jem

AN: sorry for the horrid wait because I’m terrible and thank you to the anon who told me you really wanted the next chapter. That honestly motivated me to post and any feedback always boosts the drive to write. xoxo Jem

Summary: Violet tries something new.

Tw: very brief past child abuse mention

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oh god. she makes me smile when i talk to her. ‘cause we were talking and i don’t remember what about, but i know that she didn’t seem to want to stop. like how sometimes a conversation will dwindle towards a dead end - it’s not like that with her. and i feel good because she makes me calm. warm and calm and like i could fall apart but she’d be right there to put me back together. and i just want to tell everyone about the little things she does. and i want to tell her about the nights i can’t sleep, and the days where things feel so heavy i can’t move. and i want to tell her she makes me smile when i talk to her. and that i don’t want to stop. i don’t want to stop.
—  she // r.e.s

qvoro  asked:

drabble prompt~ how about.. rhys is moving in and and jack discovers something *mega embarrassing* while unpacking

It was happening, Rhys was finally moving in with Jack. He had been reluctant to say yes at first, because he didn’t want to throw Vaughn to the curb, where to his best friend had told him; “Honestly Rhys, I’ll just be happy to get some rest, with the two of you gone from the apartment,” and Jack had in all seriousness proceeded to pay him to kick the leggy brunette out. He couldn’t exactly argue after that.

Moving the few boxes of possessions he owned, had taken little to no time, and they were quick to get to unpacking. Rhys had never been more happy to have gotten rid of all the Handsome Jack posters, motivational posters that was, now that the real deal was currently digging through one of the boxes, no doubt he would have teased him relentlessly.

Rhys had just unpacked the last of his picture frames, one him and Jack in fact, it was just one from a lazy morning where he had taken the opportunity to take a quick snap, but he’d loved it so much that he got it framed, when he heard his boyfriend let out a whistle. He turned his head to him, ready to ask what he found, but immediately lost his words when his eyes zeroed in on the article of clothing in his hands. He’d forgotten about that.

“Oh boy, cupcake,” He began, Rhys already wanting to disappear far away as his face flushed a deep red. “First the socks, now this?” He cackled.

“Please put them back in the box, so I can go burn them, thank you.” The programmer hid his face in hands, letting out a small whine.

“How many of these do you own?”

If someone had been around to shoot Rhys at the given moment, he would have gladly taken them up on their offer.

“Well would you look at that, this pair has a bow and-Oh oh, no, these definitely take the cake!” Jack held up a pair of pink, leopard printed panties, turning them around and studying them, a mischievous grin on display.

Rhys was glaring at the CEO from behind his hands, face ablaze. He remembered those, they had been a joke gift from Yvette, back when he and Jack weren’t together, said they’d help him bring home the boys, before laughing at his embarrassed state, but joke’s on her, because he ended up keeping them.

And then he might have acquired a few more, because panties were oddly comfortable and they made his ass look great.

“I bet you’d like the Hyperion issued ones better.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

“Huh, I didn’t see any-”

There was a moment of silence, Jack’s gaze dropping to Rhys’ lap.

The younger brought his hands down to the hemline of his shirt, pulling at the fabric to cover his nether regions, looking anywhere but the CEO.

He cleared his throat. “Let’s, uh, keep unpacking, and, and forget about my panty collection, okay?”

“Yeaah, no can do, you don’t dangle a piece of meat in front of a hungry skag without facing the consequences, kitten.”

Jack was already dragging him away from the boxes before he could protest any further.

….and Rhys had been right, he did like the Hyperion issued pair the best.

Does this happen to you guys too?

So i’m 21 which is about 5 years apart from most of the youtubers i watch (except bby Ethan >w< <3). But I find myself sometimes thinking, “ i’m just a kid compared to them, they probably wouldn’t want to be friends with me.” And i know that’s so not true because we have the same scene of humor and stuff, but i don’t know, this is just some of the random crap that goes though my head.

Originally posted by xlucvvs

anonymous asked:

Do you have any tips for someone who wants to be a garden witch but doesn't necessarily want to do the altars and praying to deities thing?

Well, I’ll start by two things:

  • you do not have to work with deities to be a witch (Example: I don’t)
  • you do not have to build an altar to be a witch either (again, I don’t :p)

If you want to be a garden witch, I guess your practice will be gravitating around plants. You can simply grow plants in your garden/apartment, use their magical properties, make teas, her bundles, charm bags, jars. You can use flowers in your practice in many ways too. Anything you can do that includes herbs and plants can be part of your practice! You can use your garden for grounding (or just your plants in pots!), build nice terrariums, etc.

If you are just starting, you may want to first learn tons about plants, how to grow them, their properties, etc. You can start growing your first plant when you feel ready too and include it in your practice.

Check my green magic tag if you want, not exactly the same thing, but it can still be helpful :)

In the Dark ~6~

To read 6, y’all should read the other 5 parts! I’m nice so here are the links

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

This is not my best chapter, but I have plans for 7 that will make this story not suck! 7 might be the last one… but gotta end it somewhere, right? If you want it to continue, then please tell me! 

Now, be prepared for this my friends. You’ll hate me now if you haven’t already. 

Enjoy! ~Lucy


Originally posted by goktugeminsafli

“J! What the fuck!” I screamed at the clown as I woke up from my drug-induced slumber, my body tied to the bed. My hands tried squirming against the restraints but it was to no avail. He just stood in the doorway of the room he kept me in, a smirk gracing his handsome features. 

Some time apart had given me a chance to rethink the way our relationship was built. I couldn’t even call it a relationship, really. J just sorta kept me around to show off to business partners or so he could have some fun with me. (I mean that in the most perverted way possible.) My brain had cleared of its infatuation with the madman and now I was as levelheaded as I could possibly be. The voices in my head were still there guiding my every move, but it seemed that now every single one of them put me as their number one priority. Not him. Don’t get me wrong, some of them still told me to go to him so we can be as we used to before he pushed me into Batsy’s not-so-loving arms, but it was just less

His body wouldn’t move near me as if he was just enjoying the fact that he had me back in the same bed he slept in. “Oh my little princess.” While he was smiling, I knew on the inside J was overly pissed. “I leave you alone for a while and you immediately go and fuck your therapist. I should’ve known you were a desperate one.”

Anger boiled through me and all I wanted to do was make him as mad as he made me. So, what would any other girl in a situation like this? Obviously, say something that would be regretted right after the words came from their mouths. “At least he pleased me in bed.” Of course my lips clamped shut, hoping that he heard my dishonesty. 

But of course, he was too blinded to know that it was all a lie. J got to my side in a few strides, the smile on his face gone as if it was never there to begin with. He raised his one gloved hand, but hesitated bringing it down to smack me. 

“Do it J!” I yelled, my voice breaking as I fought an internal battle of whether he was what I wanted or not. “If you’re gonna hit me then fucking do it! Don’t be a pussy.” Anger flared through his eyes as he lowered his hand. A wave of relief crashed through my body, but it was soon replaced with sadness as he stomped from the room. 

It was like the hole in my heart reopened, even after it had just closed. I was still tied into the bed and the ropes dug into my flesh, but the physical pain couldn’t even compare to the emotional pain that was running through my body. I still craved his touch even after all this time. He mentally hurt me so much that the sane part of me knew that it wasn’t healthy to run back to him. I needed to get away from him. He can not be my priority, not after him proving that I wasn’t his. 

I’d get away. And I’d make sure that he would never hurt me ever again. 

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The days passed and the years grew long. 

No one remembered the woman beneath the facade.

As she slowly disappeared into eternity within.

// I intentionally just wanted to practice expressions but yknow, broken and tainted Evaine is fun too. Just a rough sketch, I’m not too happy with a few things but BLUH. IT LOOKS OKAY FOR A SKETCH. She’s falling apart like a porcelain doll :> 

Any fool could fall in love with someone like you. You’re charming, handsome, funny, supportive, and you have a great personality. So sure, you can get anyone you want. But it takes someone incredible to fight for you. All of you. Someone who’ll be there for you not just on the good days when you make them feel in top of the world and they can brag about you. Someone who won’t just be there when the love feels good. But also when you’re falling apart and when you stop giving them as much attention and when you disconnect from them. And it takes someone incredible to put you first, someone who won’t betray you even if it’s easier to. The that someone incredible was me so it’s your fault for not seeing it
—  The New Normal // Life Without You

anonymous asked:

Omg I just read the fic you linked someone to (they have breakup sex) and as much as I love angst could you do a fix it part 2??

Alec decided two days later that he refused to give up. 

He went over to Magnus’ apartment, determined and wanting and anxious. He didn’t bother knocking, he didn’t bother announcing himself. He strolled right up into the apartment, and nearly bumped into Magnus who was in his way of leaving with a luggage. 

Alec glared at him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Magnus started at him, trying to work out his surprise and confusion. Magnus Bane, the usual picture of elegance and grace, barely managed to get his words out. “I-I’m going on vacation?” It was a question, as though he no longer believed it to be true. “Alexander, what–”

“You’re not going on vacation.” Alec snapped and shut the door behind him. 

Magnus’ confusion remained intact. “What?”

“We’re fixing this, you and me.” Alec told him. “So you might as well put that luggage down, because I’m not leaving until we do.”

Magnus looked him up and down, in complete disbelief. “You really think you can stop me?”

“Maybe not physically.” Alec admitted. “But I love you, and you love me, so all of this,” he motioned to the luggage and the distance between their bodies. “is stupid. So we’re going to fix it.”

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Ever since I broke up with my ex my life has completely gone to shit. Every thing that could possible go wrong, has and I don’t see and end to it any time soon. It’s like he was some magical glue holding me together and now everything is falling apart.
I miss him so much. Not in a romantic way but the way you feel after you haven’t seen someone in a long time. I care about him a lot tbh and I know he hates me which makes it worse. I just want him to be happy so I’m leaving him alone but. I miss his presence a lot and I just wish I could see him and talk with him and apologize. Nobody can fucking stand putting up with my shit, and he always loved and supported me no matter what…
I guess this is just karma. Idk I’m gonna stop rambling

Snakes and depression: Two-ish years later.

Just… need to take another minute to rhapsodize about snakes.

I have a post that became somewhat popular and every now and again gets a flurry of notes, about how snakes are the right animal for me and my depression. I wrote that post after I’d had Biscuit for two-ish months, and I wanted to give an update on how I feel about it a year and some change later.

This July I’ll have had Biscuit for two years. I can honestly say that she was the best decision I’ve ever made, apart from getting Puddin’ and Jaffa. All three snakes have helped to stabilize my mood to a point I didn’t think was possible. As soon as I come home and see them peepin’ their heads out at me I feel the day lift off my shoulders pretty easily. 

But making me feel peaceful and content is only part of what they are doing to help me. 

Because of them I have been finding it easier and easier to “just get things done”, which is a big deal for someone with an executive function disorder. I think it’s because I get a lot of practice at just getting things done for the snakes–I need to get their food, I need to clean their bedding, I need to change their water, I need to update their hides, I need to maintain their temps and humidity, I need to take them to the vet, and there is no procrastinating on this. They have a need, I need to get it taken care of. 

They have enough needs that I get regular practice at making myself get something done, but not so many needs that I’m getting exhausted (like when I had pet rats).

That has started to translate to being able to do things that I need to do for me and my life. I finally got my gallbladder out after two years of just suffering through gallstone attacks periodically (which apparently are supposed to hurt worse than child birth? and there I was, writhing around on the floor for two years just going “maybe this will go away if I ignore it”. Ah, the power of depression). I recently got a Japanese futon and replaced my bed like I’ve wanted to for ages, and freed up so much space in my room, which makes me feel more peaceful. I wrote about four novels worth of fanfic last year; I have never, ever finished a single story, much less something that could be considered novel length, and yet last year I wrote four stories that totaled more than 60k words each. It gave me the confidence to finally focus on writing my original work this year, which I’m aiming to send to publishers before 2018.

In a nutshell: working to be competent at snek has helped me develop enough strength to be semi-competent at person.

So, almost two years later and I still stand by what I originally said. Sneks are good for my depression. I love sneks. 

a new family moved into the apartment below mine and they have the World’s Worst Child™ that just fucking SCREAMS whenever they want something/they’re denied something/they’re fucking bored.

what’s worse is that when the parent wants to teach that hell child a lesson they take them outside and LEAVE THEM THERE. they fucking LOCK the front door and let the child kick and scream in the middle of the apartment hallway.

the old lady down the way has called security on the family (twice) but they couldn’t do anything about the screeching wunderkind because 1) the child isn’t being abused (thank goodness) and 2) the child is never left out past 8pm so they’re not breaking any rules (okay that’s bullshit)

it’s gotten to the point where the kid has started kicking the doors of OTHER apartments and holy shit it’s all such a mess what the hell do i do???