*listen to all i wanted by paramore,ilusm by gnash, and Make me (cry) by Noah cyrus*
“Even if we tried, it wouldn’t work”- Jack Gilinsky
This story begins in highschool. It was the beginning of your Junior year. You were kicking off the year by going to the first home football game. You always get there early enough to watch the boys run out onto the field. Most of your friends were already there. Everyone mostly knew you because of your boyfriend, Jack. Jack and you met when you both were camp counselors this past summer. You were new in town and he was the first person to make you feel at home. You two mostly talked about music and it was history from there.
You and your family sat in the stands by Jack’s family. Your brother Derek was also on the football team. While waiting for the announcer to announce the players, you took your eyeliner and wrote number 10 on your cheek. “Alright ladies and gentlemen please give a hand to our Panthers”,you announcer spoke. He went down the line of numbers and introduced every boy. They lined up on the field and waited for kickoff. “(y/n), come join us in the student section”,Taylor said. “Ok”,you said following them. You noticed everyone was covered in baby powder. Someone handed you a bottle and other dumped it all over you. “Why baby powder”,you asked. “It the whiteout game, one of our school colors”,Taylor said. “Hey (y/n)”,someone said making you turn around. A guy then threw powder all in your face. “Oh my goodness, Ow”,you said looking down. The asshole threw it right into your eyes. “Sammy, whats your problem”,Taylor said hitting him in the chest. “Oh my bad, I didn’t mean to get it in your eyes”,he said. “Come one lets go to the bathroom”,Taylor said taking you under her wing. “Here let me help”,Sam said. “I’m fine, really”,you said. Taylor took you to the bathroom and helped you clean up. “So thats Sammy Wilk”,you said. “Yea, he’s cool. He just plays too much”,she said. “Thanks for helping me out”,you said. “Its no problem”,she said smiling. “I feel like we’re gonna be close”,you said to her. “I guess i’ll be your best friend”,she said sarcastically. She smiled at you and you finally felt like this year is gonna be awesome, well you thought.
Highschool was the shittest time of your life. The only thing that made your day was your friends. They made you forget about all the drama school caused. Jack was always there when you needed someone. Of course Taylor was there, but you didn’t wanna put everything on her. You didn’t want her to see you as the depressed, crying girl you were behind closed doors. You only wanted her to see the bright side of you, always. Anytime you were upset, you thought Jack could always feel it. Everytime you shed a tear, Jack was always parked outside your window ready for you. You’d scale your house and sneaked out and go driving with him. Sometime you wouldn’t talk and Jack understood. Mostly it was being neglected by your parents, or only getting negative attention from them. They only saw the bad in you. Your brother always got all their love. He was the first born who was planned and got straight A’s. You weren’t a planned baby and they reminded you all the time. You made B’s but that wasn’t good enough. They were never physically abusive except once. It was mostly verbal. Your brother knew about it, he always tried to protect you. Lets just say, not every family is perfect even if they look like they’re right out of a catalog.
You two walked back to the field. You saw that the boys have already scored twice. Jack turned around and waved to you. You smiled and puckered your lips to him. Derek looked at you and pretend to puke. You scrunched your nose at him and shook your head. “You and Jack are too cute”,Taylor said. “We’re okay”,you said. “You and Jack”,sammy said in a questioning voice. “Yea”,you nodded. “cool, again sorry about earlier”,he said. “It’s fine”,you said smiling. “We haven’t formally met yet, Sammy Wilkinson”,he said sticking out his hand. “(Y/n), (Y/f/n) (y/l/n)”,you said shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you. We’ll probably see more of each other since me and Jack hangout alot”,he said. “You do. Well you probably do he hasn’t introduced me to many of his friends”,you said. “that’s not surprising”,Sammy said under his breath. You furrowed your eyebrows. “What do you me-”,you were about to ask Sammy but interrupted by the buzzer indicating it was halftime.
Jack and his sweat drenching body ran toward you. It was so crowded because everyone was going to get food. You saw Sammy wiping his nose and cramming something into his pocket. “Baby, hey”,Jack said behind you. “Hey”,you said smiling at him. “Are you enjoying the game”,he said kissing your cheek. “Yea, you kinda suck at football”,you said srunching your nose. “Why is there powder all over you”,he said wiping some off you. “School Spirit?”,you said raising your shoulders. “You and school spirit”,he said laughing. “Hey, I’m trying okay”,you said throwing powder on him. “Oh no you didn’t”,he said. “Jack no”,you said running down the bleacher stairs. “Come here, come give me a hug”,he said. “No you’re sweaty”,you said running around the back of the bleachers. “But I just wanna show you how much I love you”,he yelled back. You keep running until you see two guys smoking. “(y/n), whats up”,you heard one say. “Sam?”,you said looking into the shadow. “Hey Jack! You didn’t tell me you were dating my new friend here”,Sam said flicking his cigarette. “Yea. Hey, lets go get some food from the consession stand”,jack said putting his arm around you. “C’mon Jack, lets hangout now. I know you need your fix”,he said flashing the little baggy that he crammed into his pocket earlier. You looked at the bag of cocaine and then jack. “How about you and your fine ass girl come back to my place and we have a little kick back”,the other guy said. “Fuck off Skate. You graduated two years ago and you’re still around. Plus I’m not that guy anymore”,Jack said.
You couldn’t comprehend what you just heard. You were appalled and disappointed. You took off running to find Taylor or Derek. “(Y/n), wait let me explain”,Jack said behind you. “What? That you’re a coke head?”,you said. “I used to be, not anymore. Those guys are bad news. Please don’t ever associate with them”,he said. You didn’t say anything and turned around and walked away from Jack. “Where are you going”,he said. “You said not to associate with guys who are bad news, so I’m walking away from you”,you said. “I don’t talk to those guys anymore! I’ve been clean ever since summer, when I met you. When I met you, I wanted to be good for you.”,he said grabbing your hand. You turned to face Jack again, but with tears streaming down your cheeks. “Don’t cry”,he said wiping your cheek. “What if you died, or got so stoned you did something terrible that you could harm you or someone else”,you said. Jack looked down and the the buzzer sounded saying third quarter is starting. “I gotta go”,he said walking toward the field. “Jack, tell me what you did”,you said grabbing his hand. He yanked his hand back and put his helmet back on. “Jack, I will leave if you do not talk to me”,you said. He stopped and you were desperate. “If I tell you, i’ll loose you. I don’t wanna lose you. You’re too important”,he said.
“Do you love me”,you said with a course voice. “Of course I do”,he said smoothing down your hair. “Then why won’t you tell me”,you said laying your cheek in his hand. “I’m not telling you because I love you”,he said kissing your forehead. “See you later”,he said jogging off. “Jack”,you yelled after him. He kept running not looking back or acknowledging your desperate call for him. “Guess lover boy won’t tell you about his interesting past”,you heard someone say behind you. You turned to see Skate. He looked like a true smoker. Baggy clothing, pungent smell of weed and cologne, greasy long hair. “I can tell you everything”,he said taking another hit. “And what he doesn’t know, I can fill in”,Sammy said walking up next to Skate. “You been crying babygirl”,Sammy said getting closer to you. This guy was starting to give you a creepy vibe. And when the words ‘babygirl’ left his mouth, they made your whole body cringe. “The wind make my eyes tear up”,you said. “bullshit”,sammy said whispering into your ear making goosebumps cover your body. “I have to get back to my friends”,you said backing up. “We are you friends”,Skate said looking you up and down. “Look, I don’t wanna hear anything. Plus you might tell me bullshit”,you said folding your arms. “Why would I do that? Why would I try to make Jack look even worse, the truth will already do that”,sammy said. “Jack will tell me when he’s ready. And if it is anything bad, he’s changed. I only care about our future”,you said. “What fututre? You think you two will last?”,Sammy asked. “You can’t change your past, but you can let go and start your future”,you said.
“Once you learn what he did to Addie, you’ll never see Gilinsky the way you do now, ever again”,Skate said with grief. “Who’s Addie”,you said with a soft voice. “Why don’t you ask loverboy at the after party tonight”,Sammy said stomping on the rest on his blunt. “Cmon, we have to go get booze for tonight”,Sammy said to Skate. “See you there”,Skate said to you.