i just wanna cry because my baby is leaving

The Winchester Way

Characters: Dean x Reader (Y/N), Sam,  Bobby (mentioned)

Summary: The reader has this ratty old sweatshirt that she always wears around the bunker and Dean thinks it would be funny to hide it from her. Little does he know that that sweatshirt is very special to Y/N and when she realizes it’s missing she is not very happy.

Word Count: 1658

Warnings: Language, minor anxiety attack // If any of this might trigger you please do not read!!!

———————————————————————————————————–

“Come on Y/N it’s just a sweatshirt calm down.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want pop spilled all over it!” I half yelled at him out of frustration.

“Jeez chill out, just throw it in the wash or somethin’.” he murmured through a mouth full of burger. I loved the man, but that was one habit I’d wish he drop.

“Yeah whatever.” you sigh as you stand up from the bunkers kitchen table.

You loved this sweatshirt, you wore it to the point where the fabric was faded and it was filled with random holes. Some of which you cut yourself as little thumb holes. But that was a long time ago. If anyone outside the bunker had seen you in it they would have thought you were homeless, hell, you would have thought yourself homeless if it wasn’t for the roof over your head. The thing was this wasn’t just some sweatshirt you grabbed at an old store when it was cold. No, this was your mother’s. She gave it to you when you were 10 just 2 years before her and your dad were murdered by some demon. The same demon that would try and kill you on multiple occasions later in life, and would later burn down your house and force you to move in with Bobby Singer. The man that made you the hunter you are today. So yeah you would rather not spill pop over one of the few things you had left of your family.

———————————————————————————————————–

Dean POV.

“What is up with her and that sweatshirt man?” he grumbled to Sam who was casually researching. “I mean seriously the things a mess. Why not just get a new one already?”

“Dean, who knows? And since when do you care what her wardrobe is anyways?” Sam chuckled as he went back to his book

“Whatever” Dean stuttered, looking away. He was gonna get that sweatshirt and show her how ridiculous it was.

———————————————————————————————————–

The next day

“Dean have you seen my sweatshirt?” you snarled at him as you scramble around the bunker.

“Not a chance sweetheart,” he muttered as he took a sip of his drink. “Why do you care it’s practically decaying in your hands.” he laughed.

“I just want to find it alright.”.

“Yeah, alright princess” he scoffed.

Not good, not good, not good. Where is it? You threw it in the wash yesterday and now it’s magically disappeared? “Saaaaaam!”

“Y/N, whats up?”

“I can’t find my sweatshirt” you grumble.

“ Sorry can’t help you there, I’ll let you know if I see it.”

“Yeah ok…”. This was not good, you loved that sweatshirt, you needed that sweatshirt. You felt tears swell up in your eyes as you walked away from the library. you couldn’t save your parents and now you can’t even keep track of a damn sweatshirt? You useless and pathetic scrap of a person, why do you even care so much, their dead, get over it you baby.

You’re now in your and Deans room and god you just hope they can’t hear you sobs through the pillow You’ve shoved your face in. You try and control your breathing but it’s no use. All you hear is your own damn voice, or worse, Deans, yelling “Get over it you fucking cry baby is just damn sweatshirt move on!” You just sob harder attempting to muffle the noise with the pillow.

You know what this is, it’s happened before, and your best bet is to wait it out. You have assumed you had anxiety before but had never bothered to mention it. Didnt need your cry baby ass getting in the way of things. You just sat them out the best that you could and then moved the hell on. That was the winchester way, wasn’t it?

———————————————————————————————————–

Dean POV.

I was just walking to one of the spare rooms in the bunker to grab Y/N’s sweatshirt from where I hid it. I thought that it had been pretty uneventful she asked me if I’d seen it then asked Sam, then just disappeared off somewhere. And then I heard it, crying. And not just the type of sniffling if you stub your toe, like full on sobbing.

“What the hell have I done.” I muttered to myself and a stopped and mine and Y/N’s door. I ran into our room only to see Y/N lying face down on the mattress, violent sobs shaking her entire body.

“Sweetheart… hey, hey, talk to me.” I said depressedly.

She just looked through me with glazed over eyes as a sat her up.

“Oh darlin’ what have I done?” I said mostly to myself.

“Is this about the sweatshirt?” she started to cry harder as her eyes closed and her body trembled more. She just nodded.

“No no, I hid it, I just hid, it I’m sorry, sweetheart please.” she just continued to sob as she slouched into my chest. Tremors shaking her body as she cried.

I didn’t want to leave her but I need to grab that damn sweatshirt.

“Baby I’ll be right back just try and breath for me” she took in a large shaky breath before looking down at the bed sheets and nodding again.

I ran just two doors down and grabbed it off the shelf I threw it on last night and darted back to our room.

“See Y/N its right here, I got it.” she grabbed the sweatshirt and clung to it like it was here life. I expected her to calm down but she only seemed to cry more.

“oh god, come here. I’m sorry.”

I held her close and stroked her hair as she started to calm down. The sweatshirt crumpled up in between us was wet with her tears. She took a few shaky breaths before lifting her head from my shoulder and looked at me with red puffy eyes.

I saw her cheeks heat up and then her body start to shift away from mine.

“Hey, hey, no don’t do that” I said tightening my grip around her torso. She seemed to shake a little with tears I could tell she was holding back.

“No, it’s alright, please can you talk to me.”

She looked down and started to shake slightly, I was about to tell her it was fine, when I heard her mutter something.

“It was my mom’s.”   

Oh.   well shit Dean you really screwed that one up didnt you.

“Sweetheart I-I had no idea im sorry.” I stuttered. Of course she was in love with that sweatshirt it was her moms for cryin’ out loud.

We lied in each other’s arms for a few more minute before she slowly sat up and wiped her eyes.

“You know I really didn’t know it meant that much to you” I said sympathetically

“Yeah I know.” she said it with a sigh as she looked back down and the rumpled sheets on the bed.

“Uhh, do you want anything to eat?” I ask cause this awkward silence is, well, awkward.

“Yeah”

“Ok I’ll just grab some leftovers”

“Sounds good.” except she doesn’t Sound good. She sounds exhausted.

I left the room the grab whatever I could find in the kitchen. Hopefully we had some pie left I know she would love that.

I ended some leftover burgers, 2 slices of pie, and some root beer.

“God I’m not looking forward to this conversation.”

“Hey Y/N here ya go, eat.” I insisted. She took the food and sat at the edge of the bed  just pushing it around on the plate. But in her defense I hadn’t eaten either.

“So are we gonna talk about this?” I began. I saw her shift under my gaze and

redirected my eyes to door, which was obviously a bad idea because she blurted out-

“I’m not just a cry baby.” I look right at her “Please don’t go.” she mumbled in the quietest voice I’d ever heard.

“I won’t leave I promise, but I wanna know what that was all about,”

“Nothing”  

Yeah sure Nothing.

“You know Sam’s not the only psychologist Y/N.”

“Hmm?”  Jeez was she gonna make me say this right out.?

“I know that was an anxiety attack.” I saw her expression shift for shock, to shame, to what looked like downright fear,

“Oh.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” said in a voice slightly to demanding cause as soon as I said it I saw her flinch slightly.

“ I-I didn’t wanna seem weak.” she stammered tears welling up in her eyes.

“Baby, id never.. I, why would you think that?” I was so lost as to why she wouldn’t tell me something she knew, Something that was hurting her.

“It’s the Winchester way isn’t it? No weakness,” Did that seriously just come from her mouth? This-this is My fault?

“Y/N no- that’s, that’s, not right. You should have told me.” I couldn’t believe she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to seem weak.

“Ho-how many?” I asked

“What?”

“How many attacks have you had?” I practically whispered.

“I don’t know maybe 1 every few weeks. Not bad, I manage.” I couldn’t breath, Every few Weeks? God, how didn’t I notice.

“Come here” I got up from where I was sitting and pulled her into my chest, there she slumped down and sighed into my shoulder“you should have told me”

“ I know”

“And just FYI” I chuckled “The Winchester way is crap.”
















Companions React to Dogmeat Having Puppies

Request: Hi! Could i have a Fallout 4 companions react to Dogmeat having puppies?I mean not like,him having puppies i mean like being the father to adorable little poof balls. You know what i mean. Thanks! Love ya!

Love you too, anon😊💗


Cait: “Well, damn. Who wouldn’t want one of these fluffy beasties?” Cait couldn’t resist the fuzzy temptation of hugging on of Dogmeat’s puppies. She’d let them lay on her lap at the end of the day and fall asleep with them, but then Cait would deny it in the morning.

Curie: “What adorable puppies! They look just like their father!” Curie would love them all, but probably bond with a specific puppy. She’d insist that she had to take that one home with her, so Sole and Dogmeat of course agree. Curie would bond with her new pet and be nearly inseparable.

Danse: “I should probably get out of my power armor for this, huh?” He would be so scared of stepping on one of these little fluff balls. Danse would be overly gentle with them because he didn’t want to hurt them, even though he was being way too dramatic.

Deacon: “Nice work, Dogmeat! I’m proud of ya!” Deacon would want to name all of the puppies. He’d give them ridiculous names like Dr. McSnuggles or Mayor Pawington, but Sole couldn’t bare to crush Deacon’s heart by rejecting the terrible names.

Dogmeat: “Boof💗” He’d be such a proud puppy daddy! He’d be super protective of his lil babes, so only close friends were allowed to come see until the puppies got older.

Hancock: “Hey, I may look like a chew toy, but I’m not!” The puppies would be all over Hancock, trying to play with him and jump into him. Hancock would eventually just accept his fate and lay down, letting the puppies rampage over his body.

MacCready: “Heh, this one’s kinda cute…” He’d be super embarrassed to let anyone know he’s got a thing for puppies. MacCready would sneak to the puppies at night to play with them, but he’d get caught and go bright red. MacCready is a big softie for little puppers.

Nick Valentine: “Wait! No- stop chewing on my wires!” Nick would be a little grumpy towards the puppies at first, as they would bite in his exposed wires. One puppy even peed on his coat, which caused Nick to be even more annoyed. However, once he saw how happy it made Dogmeat, Sole, and the others, Nick couldn’t help but smile.

Piper: “These are so freaking adorable! I want them all!!” She’d squeal a lot from the cuteness overload. Piper would try to smuggle the puppies with her in her coat pockets, but Dogmeat would sniff them out the second they left his side. She would beg Dogmeat to let her have just one, but he would refuse to give up his babies.

Preston: “Oh my goodness, General… Can I hold one?!” Preston would die from how cute the puppies are. He might even start crying a little bit because of how soft and loving they were. He’d lay down with Dogmeat and his puppies for hours and just love them.


This request was super fluffing adorable😍 I hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

If you have any requests of your own, feel free to leave me an ask! Or if you just wanna say hi!

10/10 mind of mine lyrics

• She got, she got, she got, her own reasons for talking to me, She don’t, she don’t, she don’t give a fuck about what I need.

• She’s crying out that she loves me, holding my hands so I won’t leave, cause baby don’t wanna be lonely, she says “I just want you to hold me”.

• Right now I’m emotional, I lose control, when I’m with you, I hope I haven’t said too much, guess I always push my luck when I’m with you.

• Melodies and memories, stories that sound absurd, I will tell no lies.

• You’re looking in the wrong place for my love, don’t think because you’re with me this is real.

• This love is tainted, I need you and I hate it, you’re caught between a dream and a movie scene.

• She is the life of the party, Don’t stick that knife in my body, It’s something she always wanted, It’s for a good cause, You’re doing a good job.

• I got caught up in this game and you know I won’t say names of who’s to blame.

• No lies in my eyes, nothing but truth will leave my mouth, I’m tryna fucking scream but the words won’t come out.

• In the clouds where the angels sing, In your eyes, where I wanna be.

• I found my life in between a first kiss and a last goodbye

• Saw your face and got inspired

• I’d love to hold you close, tonight and always, I’d love to wake up next to you.

sadness after pd101 ep8

i just hope that top 11 trainees are among those trainees that really got talents and work hard to improve,not someone who is famous because of his look..

im so sad talented trainees are eliminated and unappriciated for their talents! its ok they gonna debut and im going to support them..

wish to see them again soon enough because im going to miss them so much T_T

lets just pray that knetz vote for the right top 11 trainees or else im going to korea and put all their heads under boiling water because they are super dump!

Connor McDavid #5.1

Requested by Anon:  Can u do a connor drabble where his girlfriend prank texts him the lyrics of HSM’s I Gotta Go My Own Way and he legit thinks she’s breaking up with him cuz and at the end she tells the truth thru facetime and you see that he’s tearing up!! Such a qt.

*Quite long, I hope you like this!! :) I had so much fun writing this. Hihi*

Part 2 here.

Word count: 1,326

Originally posted by dallas41chicago88

“Connor, listen…” You sent the message before you changed your mind.

Rolling on your bed, you waited for Connor to reply. Long distance sucks and you’re not even in a full-time long distance relationship. Come to think of it, you’re still lucky that you and your boyfriend live in the same city even if he’s gone for multiple days at a time.

Keep reading

How I’m dealing with EunSiHae

Okay first, If you feel like crying, then do it. I swear you will have a smile on your face that you won’t be able to take off afterwards. That smile is because of profoundness isthatevenaword?idkIdontenglishgood . If you need someone to cry with I’m here. Whether you just wanna talk or skype, I will cry with you if you need a friend. 


After a good cry for a couple of hours, I feel better, I will wait for my babies to come back, first it was sungmin, I lost my 4th bias, then my top 3 are going now, I’m left with my kyukyu and the rest of my babies. I will support my boys until the day I die, I’m never gonna leave them. 2017 is the year I’m turning 18, the year I’m graduating from High school, the year I will become an adult, the year I will try to figure out what I want to do in life, the year I will go into college. It’s also the year my babies will comeback. So let 2017 be a happy year, not just for me but for all of us. I hope that when 2017 opens its doors for me for a new chapter and into adulthood, my boys will still be by my side. “It’s not an END, but an AND” Prom15e To 13elieve.

Hyukjae, Donghae

Winter Lover - D&E 

(Lyrics trans) 

[Eunhyuk]
A lot has changed, except for both you and I
In another start, anxiety always showed in my eyes
Its hard right, it’s as though our front has become a small candle
Everything is like a dream
As if my white surroundings has all melted
The cold that braced me
Didn’t even know that my words of apology has made you cry
The footprints that were covered by the white snow
Don’t know where to go back to

[Donghae]
I’m suffocating (It’s ok ok ok)
There are too many things that I want to say (there are still a lot of things to say)
There are too many, too many things that I couldn’t say (too many)
You’re slowly going away (It’s all good all good all good)
Your back view
Those hands that held me (Don’t wanna let you go)

*Chorus*
I’m crying because my heart hurts
I just can’t let you go like this
Close both your eyes
Can’t see you no more baby
The unstoppable farewell time
It’s still a pity for us
Now no more no more
Oh no this isn’t the end baby
*

[Eunhyuk]
Our conversation for the two of us, we’ll cover it and leave it there for just a little while
Don’t forget about it, I will keep a bookmark there
This is a comma, not a fullstop, a tempo that is a beat slow
When we meet again, let’s stick together side by side
The falling white snow will cover us
My tears that are running down my face in the cold wind
Perhaps, even at this spot that you’re not at
I will draw your footprints
For you to be able to come back anytime

[Donghae]
I’m suffocating (It’s ok ok ok)
There are too many things that I want to say (there are still a lot of things to say)
There are too many, too many things that I couldn’t say (too many)
You’re slowly going away (It’s all good all good all good)
I watch your back view
(You’re now far away, can’t see you anymore)

*Chorus*
I’m crying because my heart hurts
I just can’t let you go like this
Close both your eyes
Can’t see you no more baby
The unstoppable farewell time
It’s still a pity for us
Now no more no more
Oh no this isn’t the end baby
*

[Donghae]
I’m suffocating
You’re going away
Calling for you, I’m calling for you (The time has come, now I have to go)
Calling for you, I’m calling for you (The time has come, I will go first)

*Chorus*
I’m crying because my heart hurts
I just can’t let you go like this
Close both your eyes
Can’t see you no more baby
The unstoppable farewell time
It’s still a pity for us
Now no more no more
Oh no this isn’t the end Baby
*

[Donghae/Eunhyuk]
Calling for you (calling for you once again)
Calling for you (Hello hello)
Calling for you (I’m still)
Calling for you (I’m calling you)

Korean lyrics: DirtyPop1938 ] Trans by teukables

  • Me, externally: I'm so glad rwby is coming back! I can't wait to see where RT takes the story. The promo pictures look g o r g e o u s too! <3
  • Me, internally: l i s t e n, I am not okay and I wanna die because all my children are separated and their relationship is on a fragile point. Ruby over here left to unravel the whole Cinder mystery and backstory and boi oh boi will she come upon so many things and volume four takes place six to nine months after volume 3 and boi oh boi how is my bby coping?? She ok??? She O K??? She probs isnt bby needs a hug but I mean....Then we have Weiss having so many hints of her giving up and filling the role her father gave her and boiii do I wanna cry 'cuz I know she wants to reunite with her team of course bby would!!! And Blake oh my Blake I can't??? Even?? Start??? Baby needs a hug like give her tea and a hug pls and a nice book p l s like bby feels guilt and it torments her so she just??? Leaves?? Because what else can she do???? She did it on impulse and boi oh boi and oh my bby Yang like my bby Yang is she??? Okay??? Like is bby slowly getting up??? Like???? Is bby coping right??? Is she speaking up?? Has she gotten off bed and decide to defy her newfound challenges??? And how will they all meet like???? My bbys??? They gonna be treated okay by RT, ok probably not but-
  • Me, externally: Yeah! Can't wait for volume 4!!!
We Can Find a Way - An Ashton Irwin Imagine

Your POV:

According to most magazines and websites these days, it seems like Ashton and I are the “it” couple. Originally, I stayed out of the spotlight, declining the few stray interviewers that came my way; as Ashton’s fame increased, however, our relationship became much more public.

The big topic lately has been our engagement, and the extravagant ordeal that Asthon planned for me before getting down on one knee. I was surprised and speechless, and tears couldn’t help but fall from my eyes. I can say that without a doubt, it was the happiest day of my life. Realizing I got to spend the rest of my days with the boy I’ve loved for ages made me the happiest girl alive.

Today, I’m at a local coffee chain with a representative from Glamour magazine who claims she wants to be the first to get exclusive details on my relationship with my fiancee. 

“So, (Y/N),” she says with eager eyes, “How does it feel to be engaged?”

I blush just at the thought of Ashton, and she can tell instantly.

“Wow, the sex is that good huh?” She chuckles at her slightly sexual innuendo, and I look at her with wide eyes, slightly uncomfortable. I laugh along anyways, as she responds. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. But speaking of sex, have you and Ashton talked about starting a family anytime soon?”

A small knot begins to swell in my throat; I knew this question was coming, but it still hurts to think about it.

“Oh, a family?” I say, trying to hide any negative thoughts of mine by forcing a smile. “I don’t know about that,” I exaggerate. “Right now I’m just enjoying being engaged. I haven’t put much thought into having children yet.”

That’s a lie, I think to myself.

The truth is, I went to the doctor just a few weeks ago because I stopped having regular periods. I was so excited, because I thought I actually was pregnant, but after the pregnancy test came up negative, my obstetrician ran some more tests. The result was almost unbearable.

My doctor explained to me that I was simply born with way fewer eggs in my ovaries than the average woman, and that the eggs that were still in my body would be too weak to actually progress to form a child.

I was in shock. I never imagined not being able to start a family.

This news depressed me for weeks, but I couldn’t find the courage to tell Ashton. Even in the open, honest and trusting relationship I have with him, I couldn’t find it in myself to break his heart and tell him that I, the girl he wants to marry, will never be able to provide a family for him.

“(Y/N)?” The interviewer asks.

“What?” I shake my head slightly, pulling myself from my deep thought.

“I was just asking, as I’m sure the public would love to know, how long do you think you and Ashton will wait to start trying for a baby?”

The question tugs at my heart strings yet again, but I force a grin to please her. “I don’t know, ask me again a year after we’ve been married.” I laugh and smile, but on the inside, I’m broken.

And I know that while I may be broken, Ashton deserves to know.

——————————————————-

I get home from the interview and feel completely determined to tell him. 

He’s my finacee, I tell myself. He deserves to know the truth.

I know he deserves the truth, but I’m simply terrified to tell him. I know I shouldn’t be, because I know I can trust him with anything, but a small part of me, deep, deep down thinks that maybe he’ll call off the engagement if he finds out I’m infertile. Everyone knows Ashton’s always wanted a big family, and that’s what he deserves.

I hear the doorknob to our bedroom turn, and I instantly try to pull myself from my solemn, self-pitying state.

“Babe!” Ashton exclaims. “How was your day? Did the interview go well?”

He kicks off his shoes as he takes a seat next to me on the edge of the bed, planting a quick kiss on the top of my head.

“Uh, it was good,” I say while I shrug. “Can I, uh, talk to you about something?”

He smiles, “Of course, now scoot over.”

I move further onto the bed as he reclines with his head on the pillow.

“So, uh, Ash. I wanted to talk about starting a family.” My heart skips a beat as I nervously fiddle my thumbs.

He looks eagerly at me, but I avoid eye contact. “Wait, babe, you wanna start a family? Really?”

“Ash-”, I try to say.

“No, no really babe, this is great. No, this is better than great. This is amazing. (Y/N), having a baby with you is going to be the second best part of my life, and the first part was meeting you. I honestly can’t wait.”

“But, Ash-”. With every word he speaks, my heart breaks a little bit more.

He takes a deep breath, continuing his rapid pace of talking. “We can move the wedding up if you’d like, that way no one thinks we’ve been together before the wedding–though let’s be honest, everyone knows we can’t keep our hands off each other–” He smirks as he continues. “I seriously can’t wait to start trying babe, we can even start trying tonight if you want.” He sighs, exasperated and exhilarated.

I inhale deeply, but I can’t bring myself to let the deep breath out, because I know that as soon as I do, I’ll fall to pieces.

Ashton’s friendly grin is suddenly replaced with confusion when I don’t respond. “Babe? We don’t have to start tonight I mean I wasn’t trying to pressure anything, we don’t have to start right away I just meant, well, we should start trying soon okay?”

I look down at my lap, closing my eyes softly as tears begin to drop from my lids. 

“(Y/N), is something… wrong?”

I nod, still looking down. When I can’t hold my breath any longer, I exhale in sobs. 

I can’t even look at the expression on Ashton’s face, I just fall to his side in a ball of tears. He tries his best to console me, but it’s no use: he has no idea what’s wrong.

“I…” I cry, “I… Can’t… Have… Kids…” I sob between words.

He pushes my hair off of my neck and drapes his arm over my waist so that he’s face-to-face with me. “What? What do you mean, baby?”

I shake my head. “I’m infertile, Ash.” I try my best to slow the tears. “I, I just can’t have kids and I know you’re going to leave me because I know that having a big family has always been your dream and I know you don’t wanna be with someone that can’t start a family with you and I know you’re gonna call off the engagement and I know that’s probably what you want to do but please don’t please I’m begging you”.

His eyes widen, even though they look wet with tears. “Wait, you thought I would leave you?”

I nod, using my sleeve to wipe my runny nose as my crying ceases.

“Baby,” he whispers, placing his hand softly along my jaw. “I would never”.

“But, but aren’t you upset? A family is what you’ve always wanted.”

He sighs, “Babe. I love you with all of my heart. You are my family. I mean, I guess it’s a bit shocking to hear all of this right now, but,” he sniffles, and I can tell he’s truly upset. “But there are other ways, right?”

I don’t say anything.

“There’s adoption and there’s surrogates and there’s a bunch of ways baby.”

“But none of those ways let me have a true baby, with you Ash.”

He kisses me softly. “It’s okay babe. I know this is hard, and I know it’s maybe not what either of us wanted, but there are other ways. It shouldn’t matter how the baby is conceived, honey. All that would matter is that we love him or her, right?”

He uses his thumb to wipe stray tears from my cheeks, and he exhales onto my skin. “I love you, (Y/N).”

We stay quiet for a moment, but I finally find the courage to speak. “But, aren’t you mad at me?”

“Mad? Never. Maybe I’m a little disappointed, but I’m not upset with you, I’m just upset with the universe, okay? I promise you, (Y/N), that when you’re ready to start a family with me, whether that day be near or far, we’ll find a way, okay? Please, please, know that I would never think less of you, and I would absolutely never leave you. I love you. We can always find a way.”

He plants a soft kiss on my lips, and I cuddle closer into his body.

He’s right.

Together, we can always find a way.

——————————————————

hey guys thanks for 3.6k xo this is just a short blurb/imagine that was requested by a close friend. let me know what you think xo

My thoughts on the leaked naruhina kiss

And why it means so much to me…

this is extremely personal. just a heads up.

I got bullied a lot in elementary school. Weather it was for my bad skin (which I grew out of,thank god) my weight, my doodles…..you name it. At one point, almost every guy in my grade would tease me.

I was humiliated, and I used to hate going to school. I was lucky enough to have wonderful friends, but they could only shield me so much. I began to hate myself (I still do to an extent). I became quiet, shy, withdrawn and depressed.

While all this was was going on, I had a crush that lasted for many years. I found out that he liked naruto. In my desperate attempt to have somthing else to talk to him about, I started reading/ watching it. Meeting Hinata was a turning point in my life. Most kids my age had Harry potter, but I had her. With her cheerful but shy disposition, her large round eyes, lack of confidence, longtime crush and huge spirit felt like home to me. Like her, I was overshadowed by an awesome sister (who I resented for years, but I have recently become very close to) and I have parents who typically don’t believe in me. Seriously, I overhear them say shit like “Lauren will never get married, so she’ll probably take care of us” or another classic, “this child can’t handle school”. The best was in 11th grade…. They were supposed to write me a letter of recommendation for college, and they wrote a two page essay on why no school should ever accept me, and forced me to read it out loud. And the most painful thing….first came my sister, and then my mom lost a boy 8 months into her pregnancy, and she alwaysssss wanted a boy. to get under my skin at times, she’ll make remarks like “if only we didnt lose andrew, it would have been wonderful. I doubt he would have given us the problems that you do”. Anyways, I never related to a character so much in my life. I rooted her on in all her trails, and I carried her and naruto through all of mine. There were so many times I wanted to crack and just give up….like when my grandma, who really was more of a mom to me, wasted away from cancer in front of my own eyes, or when my dad goes on one of his psycho rampages and takes it out on me, or when hurricane sandy nearly destroyed my entire community. It took a lot to not have a nervous breakdown while sledge hammering the walls of my own house. Every time I wanted to just cry and become bitter, I looked towards her character to guide me through it.

To sum things up a little…I ended up getting the guy too….for 8 months. He turned out to be a dick. But that’s ok. After we broke up, I continued to love the series more and more. I just so desperately wanted her to find her happiness. Seeing as she meant do much to me, her getting a happy ending would have made my year.

When chapter 700 came out, it was a huge victory. However, that kiss….. I can’t really justify how I’m feeling lol My first reaction was “WTF I WAITED 9 YEARS FOR A KISS SND WE SEE IT FROM FAR AWAY???? I WANNA SEE THEIR SALIVA!!!!” But before I realized, I had to leave class because i started crying. Claire de lune was playing while I saw it. It just KILLED me. My baby got her happy ending. AND IN THE SNOW (side note, I find snow to be so romantic. Winter is my fave season!! My dream proposal is on Christmas Eve in the snow!!) I also just can not believe that BEAUTIFUL “naruto and hinata” song.it really sounds like something from a Disney movie.

She was there with me, keeping me strong when (recently) my best guy friend of 7 years dumped me on our two year anniversary. She was with me when I worked my ass off to get into my dream school. And she was with me basically any time I needed a big push.

I’m so happy for you hinata, even though you’re not real. And I hope I stop sobbing soon lol

You Are My World (lrh)

Imagine: Luke and you are married and you have a fight and you hear him talking to your baby on the baby monitor.

Warnings: none really lol maybe the feels

y/d/n is your daughters name lol


“Whatever Luke!!!” You say, yelling. You’re surprised that your daughter, (y/d/n), hasn’t woken up from the screaming yet.

Luke rolls his eyes. “Just stop, (Y/N).”

The two of you usually don’t fight a lot, but you have both been under a lot of stress lately, causing you to fight about the stupidest things.

You huff, and angrily walk to your room. 

You come back and throw a pillow at him, followed by a blanket. Your way of signaling him that he’s ‘sleeping on the couch tonight.’

You close the door behind you once you enter your room. You laid in your but you couldn’t sleep. You often couldn’t when you fought with Luke. You started crying silently, and then the baby monitor sitting next to your bed came to life with the sounds of your daughter crying. You rubbed your eyes, stopping the tears as best as you could. You figured Luke would be asleep, so you knew you had to get the baby to stop crying. Just as you were about to stand up, you hear a voice on the monitor.

“Shhh it’s okay, princess. I’ve got you.” Luke says.

The baby stops crying, but Luke continues.

“Mommy and I love you. I love both you and your mommy. I haven’t been good to her recently, and I can hear her crying herself to sleep when we fight. I don’t ever wanna make mommy cry again, princess. You know why? Because your mommy is a queen, and I love my royal family more than anything.”

You smiled, and soon after you hear Luke leave the baby’s room. You open the door to your bedroom, and invitingly open your arms to your husband. You both go lay in the bed, and he wraps his arms around you in a hug.

“I love you.” You mutter into his chest, falling asleep to the steady sound of his heartbeat.

Chapter 5

Chris P.O.V

“Com’on lil mama you gotta eat. Just a little bit more.” I said as I tried to put the spoon full of mashed bananas in Asias mouth but she wasn’t having that. Every time I tried she moved her face from side to side only letting the food land on her cheeks.

It seems like the food was getting everywhere but inside her mouth. I tried again but this time she began to cry. Her high pitched screams filled the air and quickly started to give me a head ache. I sucked my teeth as I sat back in my seat watching her throw her little fit.

“Man aint nobody got time for this shit this morning A.M” I said. Rubbing my hand up and down my face.

I soon heard high heels mix in with her screams then the a sweet fragrance fill my nose.

“Why are you cursing at my baby.” Tyler said as she came into the kitchen, placing her bags down on the counter.

I removed my hands from my face and looked at her from head to toe. She wore an all black bodycon dress that hugged all of her curves. To match she had on some basic Louis. She paired it all of with a gold chain and gold hoops, not forgetting to throw in my promise ring. She never walked out the house without it. I watched as she looked down at the papers in her hand with a focused face. She pushed the glasses up her nose and tucked a few curly strands behind her ear.

To me she looked like the sexiest woman right now. Nothing turns me on more than a business woman that can handle her own and knows what she’s doing. I guess she felt me looking at her or the sound of Asias cries were getting to her because she dropped the papers on the counter along with her glasses.

“What?” She asked as she walked over to me with a slight smile on her face.

“Nothin, just admiring my beautiful Queen.” I replied once she stopped infront of me.

“What you should be doing is feeding our child. Why is she crying her eyes out?” She sat down my lap and took the food off of Asias table, placing it on the kitchen table.

After wiping her face off she unlatched the table and took her out. Immediately her cries turned into small whimpers as she clung on to her mommy.

“Un fucking believable. ” I mumbled to myself making Tyler giggle.

“Say daddy I full. My tummy can’t take no more.” She cooed to Asia as she wiped her wet cheeks.

Asia rested her head on Tyler as she soothingly rubbed her back.

“Why don’t you just take her to work with you.” I suggested, yet again.

“I already told you I can’t Chris. I have a truck load of meetings and I do not need her crying every thirty minutes because no one is showing her any attention.”

I sighed as she stood up and started doing things around the kitchen with Asia still in her arms.

“Why don’t you have a daddy and daughter day. Considering that you are leaving tomorrow.” She mumbled the last part but I still heard her.

I sucked my teeth. “Baby don’t start this shit again. I don’t wanna argue plus its not like imma be gone for long.”

“I don’t want to argue either but it would be nice to have you home for more than 2 weeks.” She said, now leaning against the counter.

“The why don’t we move back out to L.A”

She sighed. “Chris you know I can’t do that-“

“Why? Because of the warehouse? What ever happened to getting out of the game huh? You wanted me out so bad but yet all you did was get deeper in it. If I can give it up, why can’t you?”

“I just can’t! ” she said, her voice raising alittle.

“Why the fuck not? I know damn well its not because of money because we both have enough of that and if its because of ya pops-”

“-its just complicated!”

I shook my head and added a dark chuckle. “Yea… complicated. Just wait.” I mumbled to myself.

“Chri-”

“Aint you got somewhere to be?” I said, cutting her off.

She rolled her eyes and placed Asia into my arms. After grabbing all of her things she was out the door without saying another word to me.

She claim we supposed to be a team and shit but yet she can’t do this one simple thing. If I can give up the game for her and Asia why can’t she do it for me? I understand she’s trying to live up to her fathers legacy and all but im pretty damn sure he wouldn’t want his daughter doing most of the shit he was doing when he was alive.

Sometimes I wish she would listen to the words she preached. She don’t want Asia in this life but she still living it. But im not gone say anything else. Imma just surprise her ass.

Two can play this game.

___________________________

“You sure you wanna do this?” Ty asked again for the umpteenth time.

I sighed as I rubbed up and down Asia’s back. She squirmed a little but I made sure she didn’t fall off my chest. After hearing her light snores again, I continued my conversation.

“Nigga didn’t I say im positive. Don’t go back on ya word man.” I said.

“Man its not even like that. You already know the deal. Whats yours, will always be yours. Its just what about Tyl-”

“Ion give a fuck what she say no more. She bein a real hypocritical ass bitch right now if you ask me and that shit is starting to piss me off. Real talk”

He chuckled. ” I swear yall relationship is so damn confusing. I wonder what Asia gone be like when she grow up. She gone have the temper and the attitude of a life time.” Ty said making me laugh. She probably will.

“Shut up nigga, leave me princess alone.”

He laughed while mumbling a “soft ass nigga”

“So when you comin back out here?”

“Tomorrow so we can handle everything when I land which should be sometime in the afternoon.”

“Aight and are you sure your sure about this?” He said.

“I’ve never been so sure about a damn thing in my life.”

“Well shit. Thats all I needed to hear. It’ll be good to have ya back man.”

“Shit it’ll be good to be back.”

“Michael hurry up and get of the damn phone so you can feed yo son!” I heard Ashley yell.

I sucked my teeth. “Ashley shut yo ass up. Always trynna rush nigga’s and shit. Sit down and breath ma” I said making Tyga bust out laughing. I started to laugh with him.

“Oh so you think that shit was funny? Just wait until you get here we gone see who gone be takin the breath.” She said. Tyga must have had me on speaker. Thats the only way she could have heard me.

I rolled my eyes like she could see me. “Whatver ma. But aye im bout to clear it. Tell Mj Uncle Chris loves him and ill see yall tomorrow fam.”

“Aight bye nigga.”

And with that I hung up, placing my phone down on the nightstand. I wanted to sit up but I know that if I did I would wake up this sleeping thang on my chest so I decided to stay put. This actually gave me time to figure out what the hell we were going to do today.

“Do a little turn for daddy” I said as Asia held on to my finger also chewing on hers I’m the process. I slowly made her turn in a small circle, making her giggle and me smile. All the lady’s in the store awwed.

I decided I would take AM and I shopping since I didn’t have shit else to do but a radio interview.

“She’s to cute, she looks so much like you.” One lady spoke. She looked about my age with smooth chocolate skin. Her hair was strait with a few curls in it, stopping in the middle of her back. She wore Jean shorts that showed off her smooth legs. You could have easily mistaken her a VS model. I’m tellin y'all these chocolate beauties startin to show face. Redbone what?

I didn’t realize I was stating at her for so long until she cleared her throat. I chuckled a little “My bad, but you know you have the face and body of a model?” I spoke boldly making her giggle.

“Well I hope so considering I am on.” She said proudly.

“A man always knows. ” I stated as I stood up with Asia in my arms.

She chuckled. “Her mother must be beautiful.” She said now looking at Asia in my arms.

I smiled as I also looked at Asia as she looked around at nothing in particular. Every time I looked at her I always saw Tyler. Which is one of the things I hated when I was mad at her.

“Yeah she is.” I said. “Well I should get going. We have a lot if things to do.”

“Same here. Bye Asia and bye Chris. ” she said sending both of us a warn smile. Sometimes I forget that I’m famous and that about everyone knows me, Asia, and Tyler’s name.

“Say bye Asia.” I said as I took her tiny hand and waved at the girl. I realized I didn’t even get her name.

“Uh I didn’t get your name.” I shouted out before she walked out the store.

“That’s because I didn’t give it to you.” She responded then left, leaving me dumbfounded. I chuckled.

“Will that be all sir.” A female worker came up to me, batting her eyes.

“Uh yeah.” I said, tearing my eyes of the door. We both walked to the counter but she went behind it.

The whole tie she was ringing Asia’s clothes up she kept eyeing me. Now one thing I hate is a disrespectful ass bitch. Now in pretty sure everyone and they momma know who my girl and that I have a lady. And what makes it even worse is that I have my daughter right here!

When she handed me my receipt she made sure to give me another piece of paper. I chuckled as I licked my lips. I quickly took in her appearance.

“I love that dress ma.” I said smoothly.

I watched as she smoothed the dress out with her hands. “Really?”

“Yeah….. I remember when my girl made it.” I said then grabbed by bags and walked out, leaving her dumbfounded.

1 week later

Tyler P.O.V

I swear as much as I want to hate him and say fuck all this, I can’t. I love his stupid as too much. The fact that when he left and didn’t say nothing but “im taking Asia with me” hurt me. No kiss nor hug goodbye.

I personally thought that he was taking this whole situation a little bit to far. He just doesn’t get why I can’t leave this life behind. This is the only way I can connect with my father. Be with him and see things from his eyes.

I sighed as I stood up out of my huge chocolate brown leather chair. I straightened out the plain white tee I was wearing then grabbed my belongings. Which only was my phone and keys.

I decided to come to the warehouse and distract myself with some work . . Since it was Sunday no one was here but me. After locking the up the doors to the brick building i made my way to my Mercedes. A beeping noise caught my attention once I was inches away from the white beauty.

But before I could put all the pieces together the car exploded. Sending me fyling until I hit the ground. The smell of burning gas and the feeling of glass stuck all over my body was the only thing keeping me from blacking out. Luckly, i landed on grass. But still that shit hurt like a bitch.

Everything felt numb and it literally felt like I was stuck. I tried sitting up slowly but the pain in my stomach was unbearable. I didnt even have to lift up my shirt to see the huge piece of glass sticking out of my stomach. I slowly grabbed the sharp piece and yanked it out, causing me to yelp out in pain.

I tossed it to the side and tried my hardest to get up. Once I was finally on my two feet I looked at what one point was my car. Soon the pain was replaced with anger.

Who and why the fuck would someone do some reckless ass shit like this. I huffed, trying to keep my anger in control but it was no use.

After finding my keys and my now cracked phone i made my way back to ther warehouse only to find a red note taped to the door.

-I told you to leave while you could. Now you suffer the consequences.

- Yours Truly.

Who the fuck was this nigga?

________________

I sat on the hospital bed, waiting for the nurse to return with some bandages for my arm. She had already sown up the big ass stab on my stomach. She wanted to put me to sleep for it but I quickly shut that down. Im not the careless, especially after what just happened.

I looked down at my dirty Jordans as I seung my feet back and forth. Trying to figure out who did this shit was starting to give me a headache, not to mention all the pain that was running through my body wasn’t helping.

Hearing the door open made me snap my head up, in hopes of the nurse returning. But it was far from her.

The sight of him made my blood boil as he stood there with that stupid ass smirk on his face. It only made me think it was him behind this whole explosion.

This nigga better be glad I wasn’t strapped because I would have offed his ass in a heart beat.

“The fuck you doin here?”