Sodalite’s gem is blue, angular and smooth like his eyes, sprinkled with flecks of white that look like tiny stars against the navy depths within. It glimmers in the sunlight between curtains of silver bangs and Carnelian’s breath catches in his throat.
Sodalite’s gem is beautiful, just as beautiful as the day Carnelian first met the other gem, after he crashed into Earth in a stolen Kindergarten ship.
“Well?” came Sodalite’s grumble. Carnelian glanced down at his best friend and bit his bottom lip to keep himself from laughing aloud at the pout on Sodalite’s elegant face.
“It looks fine to me, Sodalite,” Carnelian answered honestly.
“It doesn’t feel fine.”
Carnelian tilted his head to the side. “What do you mean? You don’t think it’s shat-”
“No!” Sodalite rushed to say. “No, of course not. It’s not like Red Beryl would do us that much damage. She still wants to teach us stuff, after all. But…”
Sodalite shrugged moodily and some of his bangs slipped over his gem. “I dunno. ‘S weird.”
Carnelian hummed thoughtfully. He ran the tips of his rust-colored fingers over the azure gem and felt warmth swell in his chest as he watched it start to shine. Shocks of light broke across Sodalite’s pale blue skin like lightning, setting his whole body aglow.
Carnelian would never get tired of seeing that; Sodalite’s powers were amazing and incredible, and he loved feeling that power flicker through his limbs whenever they joined to become Agate.
“Y’know, Sodalite,” he began and the taller gem’s gaze flickered to his face. “Maybe it feels weird because we used up a lot of energy when we were Agate. That was the most power we’ve ever used.”
Sodalite looked away, but not before Carnelian spotted the blue blush spreading across sharp cheeks.
“I guess it could be that,” Sodalite muttered. He kicked his legs against the rock he was sitting on and Carnelian almost missed Sodalite’s quiet next words- “That was the longest we’ve ever been fused, too.”
Carnelian swallowed thickly. His ears burned and something was twisting and turning inside his chest.
He thought about earlier that day, when he and Sodalite had fused for training on Red Beryl’s insistence. The rush of energy that came from becoming one gem out of two, the joy of being as close to Sodalite as he could ever be-
It was addicting. He hadn’t wanted it to end, to turn back to being a lonely, helpless carnelian. He wanted to bask in Sodalite’s life force forever and never be alone ever again.
So they’d fought Red Beryl as Agate. She forced them to unfuse- she was still stronger than them even with their powers pooled into a single source- and they’d been nearly delirious afterwards. Fighting, thinking, moving…all of that took so much concentration because he and Sodalite had to be in total agreement with how their body should move.
That had never really been an issue, though. Sodalite knew Carnelian better than Carnelian knew himself by now. Two hundred years was a long time to spend with each other but those two hundred years were the best in Carnelian’s entire existence.
“I’m kind of sad,” Carnelian admitted, letting his hand fall from Sodalite’s forehead and stepping away.
Sodalite frowned at him. He almost looked disappointed that Carnelian had let go of him when he asked, “What are you talking about?
“I mean.” Carnelian dug the tip of his shoe into the sand. Waves crashed against the shore and seagulls called overhead.
He took a deep breath to fight down the butterflies in his stomach. “I mean, I was happy. Being with you, as Agate. I like being fused with you. It makes me feel…whole, somehow. I didn’t want us to separate.”
Sodalite made a choking sound. Carnelian lifted his head just in time to see Sodalite flush a deep, rich blue. His eyes darted everywhere but towards Carnelian and his nails scraped against the rock.
“D-Don’t say stuff like that! Seriously, how can you even admit something so- so-”
Carnelian doesn’t bother to fight the grin spreading across his lips. “So, what? Are you embarrassed, Sodalite, because you feel the same way? Hmmmm?”
“Shut up!” Sodalite snapped. “You already know the answer to that, dummy!”
Carnelian laughed freely, happily. He did know the answer. Agate had revealed as much Sodalite’s feelings as Carnelian’s when he had refused to split up.
“I’m glad,” Carnelian gasped and Sodalite’s thin eyebrows shot upwards. “I’m glad you agree with me, Sodalite.”
His best friend turned even darker, which Carnelian didn’t think was possible.
Sodalite stared down at the sand. “’Course I do. I-I don’t want to separate, either. But because of that….we probably shouldn’t fuse for a while.”
The air vanished from Carnelian’s lungs. “W-What? Why?!”
“You heard Red Beryl, it’s dangerous! We might never unfuse again!”
“Red Beryl doesn’t know everything!”
Sodalite’s tone made Carnelian’s words die in his mouth.
“We- we can’t,” Sodalite said and his voice shook. “We just. We can’t. I’m not saying it’s forever, but for right now it’s just not good for us.”
Sodalite’s eyes were pleading with him to understand, and Carnelian did. Really. But that didn’t mean he was happy with it.
“There are tons of other ways of staying together,” Sodalite cut him off. He slowly reached out, curling long fingers around Carnelian’s red-tinted one. “We’ve been together for two hundred years, right?”
Carnelian’s mind flashed through two hundred years of bursting laughter, soft silver locks and beautiful, pure blue eyes and skin and gems-
“Yeah,” Carnelian said roughly, struggling to speak around the lump in his throat. He tightened his grip on Sodalite’s hand until his knuckles turned white. He can feel his own gem pulsing where it touched Sodalite’s cool skin.
Fusion wasn’t the answer. Not right now. But that was okay, as long as he and Sodalite stayed together in the end. That was all that mattered.
((Hey everyone, I hope you’re all enjoying Stormblood! I just have a couple of updates that I wanted to share with you!
Don’t be alarmed if you’ve not seen me on Balmung recently; I’ve been playing Stormblood on Tonberry since the queue times are much better and to catch up with my friends on that server. Once things settle down, I’ll be running my alts through Stormblood on Balmung. I’m loving the expansion so far and it’s been amazing to meet up with so many old friends!
When it comes to irl stuff that I have posted in the past, I just wanted to share with you all that the boss who was giving me such grief at work has recently left to manage another store. One of our grocery managers has taken her place, and my stress levels have plummeted and my hours have increased. I’m no longer hating my work, and I’ve decided to stick it out there until I find something more permanent. My mental and overall health has improved since she left, and I’ve finally been able to come off one of the awful medications I’ve been stuck on for the last year! Things are looking up! ♪
Finally, I know that many of you lovely people have sent me asks that I’ve left unanswered for a long time now. So I’ve decided that every Wednesday from here on, I’ll be borrowing a computer at the local library to answer asks/ reblog and post any memes I’ve been tagged in. This should help me be online a bit more, help me save money on my phone bill (my last one was over $200, eeek!), as well as letting me respond quicker to things.
That’s all for now; please look forward to this blog being more active! Be kind to one another ♥ ))
1. I literally have answered the same ask about AcnoxZeref but if you want more of my opinion… I think they can also share cute fluffy moments. I just dunno how or what?? Not enough hc in my mind about them yet ^^;
2. omg yes!! Erik’ll rock a monocle! I just pictured him as a magic school librarian. I mean c’mon, he’ll be one hell of a librarian! (with his hearing and all)
5 and 6. If I put Natsu and Mest here I will connect Natsu with everyone except Richard and Racer. And I’ll connect Mest with Erik, Jellal and Sorano. Then, I’ll rate Midnight/Natsu and Cobra/Mest as ‘really cute’!! >///<
i am so happy to have met the people i have met in my life. i have been blessed to have beautiful people in my life so are so inspiring and encouraging and the thought i am alive the same time as them makes everything worth it. even if i have nothing else going for me and i was born just to prop them up and assuage some of their worries from time to time its all just so worth it i can die happy knowing that even without having a purpose in life ive found joy just in talking or being near them
imo neji puts almost zero effort into being beautiful he was just born looking like a j crew model but he still goes around acting like it’s something he worked for. like whenever someone asks what conditioner he uses he’s like “oh nothing special my hair is just really healthy because i take care of myself :))))”
small summer self-care tips from one mentally ill person to another, based on ur hogwarts house
more books if you can, video games that are happy if you can’t.
find one project you love and chase it doggedly, even if it’s fanfiction. ideally, work on this project w/other friends that are working on projects, so u have accountability and community.
set small goals and crush them, even if they’re managing to get rid of the Depression Water that’s been sitting on the side of your bed for three weeks with a dead moth in it
whenever you hear yourself call yourself bad names, whisper “shut up, salasar,” and fix it. call yourself the most ridiculously pretentious and complementary titles you can think of
every time ur brain tries to kill you, tell it you will succeed out of spite
acrylic nails, regardless of your gender. sometimes they are 50 cents at the drug store. click click click
don’t get caught up in the wildness of summer, try to take a few steps back from friends when stuff starts getting dangerous. write down “we are about to do X” and decide if it’s something your mom would be okay with.
blanket cape + make urself a paper crown
for every liquor drink please drink 1 glass water. friendship hydration challenges are also a lot of fun, but as a warning, i will win them
roller coasters will make u feel awake for a bit and that’s fun but friendships shouldn’t make u feel like you’re trapped on one
courage is your crest. remind yourself of that when ur facing your demons. also, dye your hair a fun color.
you’re not too much for someone to handle just because you’re energetic or whatever. this summer relish in not toning it down. take your meds with water and bite anyone who makes fun of you for them.
give urself time to recharge. know your limits. sometimes courage is also saying “no thanks”
the sun isn’t out all the time. you don’t have to always be the cheery one. if you fall, your friends will catch you. keep yourself around your loved ones. they’ll forgive you, even if you’ve been gone.
cooking and baking for other people is actually so much fun, try and eat a little while you get it done
watch children’s movies and shows. it’s okay. take a little while and let yourself feel like you’re seven and the world isn’t as loud as it is.
dark scary makeup and instagram photos
be patient with yourself. okay you’re not getting better right now but that’s okay. the slope is very slippery. it’s a long climb to the top, but you got badger claws. start with washing your hair. you’ll get there.
when they are only hurting you, they do not deserve your loyalty. it hurts to say goodbye, but it will be better when they leave.
hard work does include dragging yourself into the shower after six days without it, good job, you
find something to be curious in every day, keep that mind working. it helps to slowly teach yourself something, even the anatomy of a bird wing.
you aren’t bad if you can’t focus. neither can i and i’ve been a ravenclaw all my life.
it isn’t about being “smart” and you don’t need to fit some neurotypical version of that to be clever; wit comes in all forms and if you chase something unconventional at least you’re chasing something
tuna and rice is a good meal with a low price and v low production abilities. turn on TedED while it’s cooking and zone out to something vaguely educational. at least you’re learning?
you aren’t and you’ll never be only good at things because of your disease. if someone says you paint beautifully because you’re sad, paint them eating their words. also, peaceful coloring.
bird mouth from pringles chips. caw caw
go outside. catch breeze, draw leaves, eat fruit, discover small happy.