i just thought this was funny hahah

40 Thoughts You’ll Have While Dry Humping Your Girlfriend

This is so funny but so right hahah made by : Kitschmix.com 

1. She’s literally just rubbing herself against my butt right now.

2. This doesn’t really do anything for me.

3. Oh wait, that moan in my ear does a little something.

4. If I moan back maybe she’ll fondle my boobs.

5. OK, she’s way more excited than I am – boob fondling is not the business.

6. For the love of all that is holy, please stop humping my butt.

7. Maybe if I roll over, she’ll hump my front instead.

8. Oh yes – now she’s on top of me.

9. Wait, why did she slow down?

10. Is she about to finish?

11. Nope, you’re not getting off if I can’t get off.

12. She’s trying to undo my pants. Do I let her?

13. She started teasing, so she should definitely keep teasing for a while.

14. Screw this, teasing sucks.

15. Wait… Teasing isn’t so bad after all.

16. Is it bad that I want her to beg for it?

17. Crap… I’m about to beg for it.

18. LOL, I can feel how wet she is.

19. Can she feel how wet I am right now?

20. Well, she definitely noticed – and for some reason felt the need to comment on it.

21. Why is someone grinding against me so sexy?

22. That face she just made isn’t very sexy, though.

23. But that moan definitely was.

24. Can’t we just get to business already?

25. Note to self: I am a classy lady.

26. Second note to self: Dry humping doesn’t make me feel very classy.

27. Dry humping makes me feel like a teenager.

28. Did I dry hump when I was a teenager?

29. I definitely dry humped my first girlfriend.

30. I wonder what she’s doing now.

31. No – stop! Don’t think about your ex right now!

32. Didn’t she eventually decide she was straight though?

33. Didn’t really seem so straight when she was pressed against me.

34. This dry humping thing isn’t really doing it – maybe if I take off my pants, it’ll work better.

35. I repeat: I am a classy lady.

36. Classy ladies don’t take off their pants right away.

37. But classy ladies don’t dry hump either.

38. Why can’t we be classy and still have lots of sex?

39. Why am I not having sex right now?

40. Screw it – let’s have sex.

the magicians 2x01 - “you’re wiping your own ass”

So I thought I’d do lil reviews of The Magicians season 2 after each episode airs, bc it’s not like I have coursework or anything to do hAHAH kill me 

anyway

  • Things got zany reeeaal quickly, like the switch from tragedy to humour kind of gave me whiplash, especially bc I just binged season 1. I was annoyed they were playing Penny’s hand amputation as funny til I realised he’d get them back this ep, so whatevs. Nothing really fazes the Brakebills kids anymore lol
  • “We are fucked without grease.” “Sounds like us. Must be a Monday.”
  • Not sure where they’re going with Martin’s fixation on children’s hangouts? Like. Dodgy or is he trying to recapture the childhood that was taken from him? @ writers, clarify pls
  • The Swayze monologue was cutesy and all but there’s only so much I can handle in terms of modern pop culture refs in my magical medieval-era worlds, ,,  stop
  • Was that Lovelady that put Penny in his place, I hope so
  • Why Is Penny Such A Dick For No Reason? Experts Are Baffled
  • That rainbow bridge was fab, Fillory is pretty u can quote me
  • “I seem to have died waiting for you” <- me when my friends don’t show up on time
  • Penny’s exasperated “oh jesus” when Eliot whips off his coat dramatically
  • THE QUELIOT IN THIS EP. It made me sad at the end though I am so worried they won’t get back to Fillory until like… episode 5 when a year or two has passed for Eliot. That messes me uP
  • The coronation was crazy adorable, Quentin was so sweet with Eliot and Margo apologising to Quentin was sad and lovely at the same time. I guess this means the power threesome won’t reconvene any time soon, which sucks, but it looks like Quentin x Alice is back, my nerd otp!
  • High King Eliot the Spectacular, Queen Margo the Destroyer, Queen Alice the Wise, KING QUENTIN THE MODERATELY SOCIALLY MALADJUSTED 
  • Alice the superpowered Goddess.   Love of my life
  • sigh.  when will Julia stop making bad choices
  • I know I already mentioned it but that queliot hug added 4 years to my life

VERDICT: solid opening. Set up some intriguing possibilities for the season overall, so 8/10

2

Sooo I’ve heard that it’s Matt x Mello Day?? What??? Hahah. Well, whether it is or isn’t, it gives me an excuse to post more of these two!!

I seriously LOVE MxM. Like, they wormed their way into my heart, my life, my every thought. Cosplaying Matt is literally like being myself. We are so similar it’s not even funny. (In fact, my close friends just call me Matt) He’s such a sassy, sarcastic little shithead. And it’s wonderful. Matt and Mello are so destructive, so innocent and sososo broken (and let’s face it, the sex is freaking kinky as hell and HOT). They are so dynamic and relateable. Cosplaying them and receiving such positive feedback is a dream come true!! (So thank you all~)

anonymous asked:

ok so you know when jughead and archie finally come to terms, and jug is like "just as friends right?" Like idk abt you but when he said that I was thinking about how they might have been something more before;)))

Hahah that’s a funny thought and jarchie is definitely one of my ships but I doubt it’s gonna be canon anytime soon (these writers are probably gonna force varchie on us tbh). That would be something interesting for them to explore though, their relationship and perhaps they broke up right before the Fourth of July road trip.

Wait wait… @vitruvianwatson you mean you really read it?! I didn’t think people would actually read it coz it was just my depressed tormented thoughts being disguised as Sherlock’s and what “John” did is 1000% canon irl hahah someone I believed was my “best friend” did THAT to me when I was already suicidal and depressed 😂😂 it’s funny coz it’s true, I’m so sorry I made you read my disguised diary, I didn’t think people would really read it

40 Thoughts You’ll Have While Dry Humping Your Girlfriend

This is so funny but so right hahah made by : Kitschmix.com

1. She’s literally just rubbing herself against my butt right now.

2. This doesn’t really do anything for me.

3. Oh wait, that moan in my ear does a little something.

4. If I moan back maybe she’ll fondle my boobs.

5. OK, she’s way more excited than I am – boob fondling is not the business.

6. For the love of all that is holy, please stop humping my butt.

7. Maybe if I roll over, she’ll hump my front instead.

8. Oh yes – now she’s on top of me.

9. Wait, why did she slow down?

10. Is she about to finish?

11. Nope, you’re not getting off if I can’t get off.

12. She’s trying to undo my pants. Do I let her?

13. She started teasing, so she should definitely keep teasing for a while.

14. Screw this, teasing sucks.

15. Wait… Teasing isn’t so bad after all.

16. Is it bad that I want her to beg for it?

17. Crap… I’m about to beg for it.

18. LOL, I can feel how wet she is.

19. Can she feel how wet I am right now?

20. Well, she definitely noticed – and for some reason felt the need to comment on it.

21. Why is someone grinding against me so sexy?

22. That face she just made isn’t very sexy, though.

23. But that moan definitely was.

24. Can’t we just get to business already?

25. Note to self: I am a classy lady.

26. Second note to self: Dry humping doesn’t make me feel very classy.

27. Dry humping makes me feel like a teenager.

28. Did I dry hump when I was a teenager?

29. I definitely dry humped my first girlfriend.

30. I wonder what she’s doing now.

31. No – stop! Don’t think about your ex right now!

32. Didn’t she eventually decide she was straight though?

33. Didn’t really seem so straight when she was pressed against me.

34. This dry humping thing isn’t really doing it – maybe if I take off my pants, it’ll work better.

35. I repeat: I am a classy lady.

36. Classy ladies don’t take off their pants right away.

37. But classy ladies don’t dry hump either.

38. Why can’t we be classy and still have lots of sex?

39. Why am I not having sex right now?

40. Screw it – let’s have sex.

Omg. So I’m at work and it’s like 3:40am and this little old lady and a younger woman was in here shopping. Night shoppers are my favorite.

Any ways this little old lady who looks like she goes to church and has that sweet warm old lady face was examining one of those hillshire farms summer sausages and then she gets a very serious look on her face and turns to the younger woman and goes, “yep. This looks like your grandpappy.”

At this point I’m like DID….DID SHE JUST MAKE A DICK JOKE OMG. The younger lady says, “Grandma!” And I’m trying not to laugh because I don’t want them to know I’m listening but I couldn’t help it and they walk away and all I heard was, “well the white girl thought it was funny” followed by grandma giggling at her joke hahah