i just thought this part was hilarious

good responses to being stabbed with a sword (part 2)

  • oh no i’m allergic
  • it sword of seems like you’ve got a problem with me
  • laughter. not the word “laughter”, just. laughing
  • sure it’s the thought that counts and i appreciate the sentiment but does this gift come with a receipt
  • you wound me. literally. you just. actually wounded me. that thing is really sharp. so you. don’t even look at me like that they can’t all be winners
  • wouldn’t it have been hilarious if i just flew back like balloons do when you pop ‘em? can you even imagine? god. just. do it again, pretend the first time didn’t happen. come on. please
the story of the underwear cockles op

y’all wanna hear the story of how @amazinmango and i got this photo op at phxcon this weekend?

PART ONE: BEFORE THE OP

so here’s the thing: n o n e of this was planned. it was amazing, hilarious, ridiculous kismet. 

mango’s had his birthday recently, and so i brought his birthday present with me to phxcon. part of the present was a pair of jensen’s underbears (i think the text i sent mango right after jib was, “we’re close enough that it’s not weird if i buy u underwear right????”) bc i thought that was hilarious from jib and mango is a huge jensen fan and dean!boy. so the original joke was just that mango could have the bear underwear. i also got him a second pair in orange, bc orange is his fav colour. this was as far as i thought this would go. 

so i get into phoenix thursday night and give mango his present. we didn’t know there were cockles photo ops until friday afternoon when we saw hard tickets for sale. i distinctly remember being bummed that my hometown con had cockles photo ops for sale online but phxcon, the one i was actually going to, did not. but obviously once i saw they were available, like. THERE WAS ONLY ONE CHOICE. so after deciding it was completely financially irresponsible when we have no money, i bought the op. 

i can’t remember when it occurred to us that we had both the underbears and a pair of lucky orange underwear for misha in our hotel room. we wanted to do something fun and funny for the op, and cracked ourselves up at the idea. but we were also aware that it could be, you know, kind of sort of maybe intensely uncomfortable to be like (a) i know what underwear u were wearing and (b) here i brought pairs of them for you to further laugh over. i have a T E R R I B L E akdslkjkas embarrassment squick, so we didn’t want to do anything that made us uncomfortable, and we definitely didn’t want to do anything that would make misha or jensen uncomfortable. we wanted them to have fun with us and play around with us. 

we ran our idea passed our roomie, who has some good con experience, to see if she thought it would fly or not. we agreed on judging our plan based on their mood on the day and asking them if they felt comfortable enough to do it was the best course of action, with a back-up plan ready to go immediately just in case, so j+m knew we were serious that they could totally pass on it if it was weird. CONSENT AND SAFE SPACE. we were hella concerned about this. 

Keep reading

GoT S07E01 Thoughts

I don’t know if this will be a regular occurrence, but for the first episode, I’m going to be laying out my thoughts about the premiere in what will probably be a lengthy post that’s half gibberish and half maybe something substantial. Undoubtedly, not eloquent. These are just thoughts and nothing more that I’ve jotted down while watching and am now about to elaborate on. 

Let’s begin with what has to be one of the most epic intros in Game of Thrones ever. No, I don’t want to hear your counter. You will not sway me on this. I don’t care, mate, because this scene was bloody awesome. The minute Filch Walder Frey’s face popped up, I knew it was Arya and I knew shit was about to go down. Now nobler humans might be like ‘Oh, Arya is going down a dark path; this is bad’ but her gathering all of the Freys in one room was poetic justice. What they did at the Red Wedding warranted retaliation and this has been a long time coming. 

It was beautiful the way it happened too – a dark sadistic glee washed over you as you watch a room full of men choke on their drinks as Arya stands there telling them they should’ve killed all the Starks, and “leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe.” 

Look, people really hated that line prior to the premiere, but in context, it was wonderful, it was justified, it was so unbelievably satisfying. Then when Arya goes, “tell them the North remembers; tell them Winter came for House Frey”, you bet I got goosebumps. Like I’ve said time and time again, ‘Winter is Coming’ is not just a warning, but it’s a battle cry for the Starks. This is their season. When the world dies, the lands become barren and the knights of Summer struggle to survive, the North prevails, and the Starks are at the helm of this changing tide. It’s their time now, and beginning it with Arya avenging the loss of her family is a truly poignant way to set the tone for the rest of the season. Yes, we’ll see Cersei and Dany duking it out, but at the end of the day, this is about the Starks. 

The next thing I jotted down was ‘zombie giants’, which is just to say that: holy shit, there are zombie giants! Seeing the sheer number of White Walkers, it makes you realise how utterly inconsequential Cersei and Dany’s fight for the Iron Throne is. There won’t be a kingdom to govern when those icy bastards get past the Wall, and believe you me, they will eventually. No matter what anyone says, that Wall is coming down probably at the end of this season. 

Seeing Dolorous Edd as Lord Commander gave me goosebumps as well. I adore him; I love him, and I swear to god if he dies, I will kick someone’s ass, so he’s probably going to die. But him meeting Bran and Meera made my heart race. They are so close to Winterfell and we’re so close to another Stark reunion. Also, hey Bran, I know the world is ending but cheer up, pal. 

Now we get to the highly talked about scene with Jon and the Northern houses. First of all, I felt so euphoric when Jon told the North that they would need every man and woman, boy and girl fighting in this battle. Even more so when Lyanna spoke up and basically told the men in the room to shut up about it. Her “I don’t need your permission to defend the North!” speech was seriously my top five favourite moments of the episode. The look of pride on Brienne’s face as well. I wonder, however, if this means Sansa might learn how to fight? I don’t see it. She’s a diplomat, a politician, but she should know some self-defence. Jon should teach her. Late at night. Alone. Some flirty teaching…. I’m getting sidetracked. 

Speaking of Jon and Sansa though, can I just say to that redditor who apparently saw the first episode: ‘Hey buddy, you were wrong! And if you interpreted that scene as Jon putting Sansa in her place then you really are a sexist creep.’ Because while yes, Sansa does argue with Jon in public and Jon does tell her his word is final, he in no way puts her in her place. And there is no moment where the other Houses laugh at her. In fact, going by the murmurs of agreement, quite a large amount of lords and ladies wanted Jon to give Umber and Karstark lands to the houses who didn’t fight for Ramsay. 

I also want to clarify something here before anti’s get all up in arms about this scene (not that I think any of them follow me or stalk my blog but if you do: hi, how are ya?). While I do agree with Jon’s decision, in the end, I also understand Sansa’s opinion on the matter. If I had gone through what she had under the ministrations of Ramsay and knew that these Houses who have sworn up and down in the past to fight for the Starks sided with him, I’d be furious. There wouldn’t be a damn thing anyone could say to me to get me to forgive their indifference and compliance in the trauma I went through. Sansa has every right to want to strip the Umbers and Karstarks of their land. I can even understand being angry with Jon for not understanding this, but here’s the thing, she wasn’t.

Immediately after this extremely public argument, it cuts to a scene of Jon and Sansa talking about it. They didn’t fight, let the emotions fester and build up resentment. No, Jon and Sansa talked it out. He told her not to undermine him in public and she told him a king needed to be questioned lest he ends up like Joffrey. Then when he asks her if she thinks he’s like Joffrey, her eyes lose that fight and there’s fondness in it, as she tells him firmly that he is the furthest man from Joffrey she had ever known. Although they’re arguing and disagreeing on important political decisions, there’s fondness and trust and respect in the way they talk to each other. 

What I find interesting is that after Jon and Sansa’s scene, they cut straight away to Jaime and Cersei. Two pair of (sort of) siblings and yet two vastly different relationships. The placement of these two scenes is no coincidence. The two relationships act as literary foils for one another. Both are fighting and arguing, but in contrast, Jaime and Cersei are clearly on very different paths from one another. There’s wariness, disbelief, and disappointment in the way Jaime looks at Cersei; and she is so consumed with her grief, anger, power, she can’t see that he is questioning her very right to be on the throne. They are shot as two opposing figures circling each other with lots of space in between them. On the other hand, Jon and Sansa were shot close together, always within inches from another, with dimmer lighting, and more physicality (ie. Sansa touching his arm to assure him and let him know she may argue but she is on his side). 

Don’t dismiss the sequence of these scenes. Nothing in this show is a coincidence. 

Moving on, I love Sam and I am so excited to see him again, but dear lord, that was the most disgusting series of shots ever. I felt physically ill. Please never again. But I wonder if he discovers the dragon glass at Dragonstone this early in the season, what else will he uncover in the Citadel? There’s definitely more in store for Sam’s storyline and I wonder if it might be something to do with R+L=J. People have theorised about Sam confirming it somehow. We’ll see, I guess.

Nothing really of substance to say about the Brienne, Podrick and Tormund scene, but it made me laugh out loud. Tormund is the physical embodiment of the heart eyes emoji. And his “you’re a lucky man” to Podrick when he gets knocked down by Brienne was such great comedic timing and brilliantly hilarious. 

I wish I could play this next scene on a loop. Sansa telling Littlefinger off has to be the greatest ‘screw you’ to all the people clambering for StarkBowl just because they don’t like Sansa. I love when she says to him, and I’m paraphrasing here, “you don’t have to get the last word. I’m sure it’s probably something clever” and just dismisses him like he’s nothing, which he is. It was so queenly, so regal and so cutting. It was exactly like Sansa. She may not have a sword, but her tongue is sharp enough to wound. 

The biggest surprise of the episode was seeing bloody Ed Sheeran. When we heard the singing, I said that whoever that was had a great voice, and low and behold, it’s bloody Ed. I knew there was a huge musical guest star but this totally surprised me. I love this scene though. Arya’s always been on a very rigid path for vengeance. Those who serve the Lannisters are in the wrong and there’s no grey area about it, but you can see her sitting there listening to these men caught in someone else’s war longing to be home with their fathers, wives, daughters, etc. and realise that they are victims of this war just like everyone else. I wonder how that’ll change (if it does at all) Arya’s journey towards vengeance because truth be told, I am worried about her this season. Next on her list is Cersei, but we all know Cersei will either die by the hand of Jaime or by Tyrion (probably Jaime), so where will that leave Arya? Will she give up her quest and head home to Winterfell? Or will she die trying? 

You know what? I do like the Hound. I like his redemption arc. And although I don’t believe it makes up for all the bad shit he did prior to it, I am intrigued to see where he goes from here. Also, this line is hilarious: “it’s my luck I’d end up with a band of fire lovers.” 

Now, what I’m about to say people might nitpick with me being an anti-Dany person, but honestly, I’m not. I just thought the whole Dragonstone sequence was incredibly boring. It was exciting the first thirty seconds, but it dragged on for so long. Then when she stands at the table and says, “shall we begin?” it was just so anticlimactic. It was the dullest part of the episode and I’m hoping it gets more interesting for her soon. Actually, no doubt it will be considering this is her make or break moment, but let’s be honest, that sequence was way too long. 

Anyway, I’m done. Those are my thoughts. Let me know what you guys think!

anonymous asked:

Hey I love your blog! It's my favourite! Could you do a Shiro imagine where it's years after Voltron and him and his s/o have children and it's all cute and fluffy! 💖💖💖

ok, so I got a lot of this type of request so I’ll just do random HC’s, yeah? Mostly because if I broke these all up they would probably be extremely similar


  • Shiro’s got twin girls and he’s Blessed™ every morning he gets to see their beautiful faces
    • we’re continuing with the twins from earlier posts: Astrid and Hayden
  • if you didn’t think he cried when he got his first ‘#1 Dad’ you’re fucking wrong because this man bawled
    • it’s his favorite mug
    • until his daughters grow up more and start making him one every year, then those are his favorite
    • also he loves the crazy ties they choose for him each year. 
  • you thought he was romantic before marrying him? Well buddy, i have some news for you
    • takes every opportunity to say “Wifey” any time he possibly can. You are his ‘wifey’ and he loves saying it.
      • or ‘husband’ if that is what you prefer. every time. “Hey Husband.” what is your name? Husband.
    • flowers/chocolates/food/gifts weekly. just because he likes the look on your face when he comes home
    • you know that Roseanne post where dan gets her flowers? Yeah, that’s him
    • date night every wednesday (bc Fridays are busy) and sometimes it’s fancy, other times it’s not (”What do you mean Panda isn’t romantic? This is peak romance right here.”)
    • randomly massages parts of your body without asking
    • “What are you looking at Shiro?” “Only the most beautiful person in the universe.” “You’re a loser.” “But a loser who’s in looove~”
    • *soft sigh* “How did I get so lucky?” you’d think you’d be used to this, but it still makes you blush years later
    • “You’re so perfect, absolutely perfect.” “Shiro…I’m picking up dog shit.” “Yeah~”
  • has pictures of you, your daughters, and your pitbulls (3) all over his work area
    • there’s a small voltron dedicated area too, but it’s tiny compared to his family area. Lance is appalled.
    • “You won’t believe how cute my girls were this weekend!” proceeds to whip out the new 63 photos long album on facebook
  • speaking of, amateur Dad Photographer Shiro
    • he’s got a fancy Cannon with a bunch of different lenses
    • weekend daughter photoshoots are a hoot
    • your girls grow up loving it, being dramatic, imitating tyra banks, wearing ridiculous outfits, they are owning that back yard
    • they continue pretty much until the girls are like 13, because “It’s embarrassing dad!” “Ok, but I’m supposed to be embarrassing?” 
  • Soccer Mom Shiro
    • he’s got shirts that say his daughter’s names and numbers for every sport
    • he’s got noise makers and flags
    • the obnoxious parent who heckles the refs
      • “Hey ref! Did you come from FootLocker!? Because that was BULLSHIT!”
      • “oH SCREW YOU COACH! YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER THERE AND SHOW YOU HOW A REAL ELBOW GETS THROWN??!!”
      • he gets red carded, a lot.
      • you don’t even fight it anymore
    • the team loves him though because he’s super supportive of the other girls and he brings some killer snacks
      • not homemade though, he can’t cook for shit
  • remember his Expedition? He finally traded her in for a new version and is the official Mom Car™ for team/friend trips
  • let me repeat, he can not cook for shit. but for some reason he can throw it down of the barbecue
    • convinced it’s a perk you unlock after childbirth
  • very protective of his daughters, but respects their right to privacy and right to do their own things
    • but he taught them how to fight, so every fuck boi within a 10 mile radius knows not to fuck with the Shirogane Twins
    • he chugs that Respect Women Juice
    • wants to break a kid the first time a daughter cries over a romantic partner. but then he remembers murder on Earth is illegal. 
  • overly supportive in whatever his daughters and you choose to pursue
    • just overly supportive in everything really
    • he basically lives for you guys 
  • doesn’t get sick for some reason, so whenever someone is sick in the house, Nurse Shirogane/Dad is on it
  • “Who wore their shoes in the house?? Seriously?”
  • *pinches his nose with a deep sigh* “I’m sorry, my daughter punched Travis. But frankly, he kept harassing her even after she told him to stop snapping her bra strap. So the question we should be addressing here, Principal, is why your teacher allowed this sexual harassment to continue and did nothing to help my daughter?” Guess who got detention? Not his daughter.
  • Wants to cry a bit when his daughters start asking questions about sex
    • but he’ll be damned if they don’t know everything
    • it was actually a good family talk, after the initial awkwardness
  • The Hot Dad
    • his daughters’ friends all have a crush on him and he can’t figure out why
    • it’s totally not because he’s hot
    • or that he’s actually interested in what they have to say
    • or that he does yard work shirtless
    • or that he remembers random facts about them that they thought he would forget
    • nope
    • his daughters are grossed out
    • you think its hilarious because you get to tap that
  • drops off his girls at school
    • “Have fun! I love you! Make good decisions! I miss you already!”
    • “OmG DAD GO HOME!”“GROOOOSSS!”
  • goes to pick them up and has a little sign like people do at the airport that says “Shirogane” with like glitter and hearts and shit
    • the twins are embarrassed each time but they secretly love it
  • threw up the first time he had to change a poopy diaper
    • he did it though. he did it.
  • sings around the house a lot, just little random song parts or to the dogs
    • “Where oh where are my pup-py dogs~?” the dogs come slipping and sliding around the corner every time you guys come home
    • *badly and purposely out of tune* “And there’s the love of my liiiiife!!!~” “Oh stop it Shiro!” “She thinks I’m talking about her~. but I’m talking about the noo~odles~” *you throw a noodle at his head*
    • accompanied by bad dance moves
  • speaking of puppy dogs, has 3 pitbulls that look vicious as hell but they’re just as sweet as him
    • they are wonderfully trained and big babies
    • his ‘other children’ 
    • wouldn’t hurt a fly, but ain’t nobody fuck with you guys on walks
    • Their names are Mr. Murder (Murds for short), Cupcake (Cakey), and Rebel (Bells). He didn’t name them. The girls did.
  • There is also a grumpy house cat that nobody knows how old it is or how you acquired it. The Captain has just, always been…
    • Cappy showed up one day and never left
    • he’s a solid grey Blue Russian/Siamese mix with green eyes that rules the dogs
    • only loves Shiro and tolerates everyone else (he loves you guys really, but Shiro is his person)
    • Shiro baby talks him, “Who’s a good murder cat? You are! Yes! You!!!”
  • the house cleaner, his house and yard is spotless.
    • once broke out a ruler to measure the grass. you made fun of him.
    • “I swear to God, if Jim’s nasty ass tree grows over the fence this year, I will cut it down. I don’t give a fuck.”
    • fond of power washing
  • hot mechanic, does his own car work
  • head kisses for everyone! you are a well kissed family
  • also you’re the couple that’s always got your hands linked, arms wrapped around each other, or just leaning against each other
    • you’re always touching. always.
  • family Halloween costumes
    • Halloween is his JAM
    • lives for Halloween decorating
  • watches House Hunters religiously
  • The one who drags the family to World Market and Kohl’s for house decor
    • the house is definitely decorated for every major holiday
    • and he’s actually really good at decor? Like, you wouldn’t think so given with his clothing style and bad hair cut, but wow. you’ve got a nice house. (yes, i’m dragging Shiro)
  • you’ve come home routinely to the girls doing is hair and makeup and nails
    • “Hey honey, look how pretty I am. Didn’t the girls do a wonderful job?” “Just…marvelous dear.” “Right? Your turn is next.” oh no…
    • doesn’t wash off the nail polish, nobody makes fun of him. nobody.
  • tries to make you breakfast in bed on your birthday and valentine’s day
    • he can only make harboiled eggs and toast
    • when the girls get older, it gets more elaborate because they can help
  • super excited to teach the girls how to drive, but worried about dying
    • screamed more than once in the car and tried to slam on his invisible break
    • “Please…stop… you’re making my hair whiter…”
    • “I said SLOW, THIS IS NOT SLOW!!!”
    • Hands are pressing on the roof of the car and he’s twisted in the seat trying to brace himself
  • one day he figures out how to work the crockpot and can now contribute to family meals
  • loves taking you guys camping
    • tent camping, because RV camping ‘isn’t real’
    • a pyromaniac
    • everyone needs a personal bear mace and a dog at all times
    • the cat goes too, on a harness
    • family snuggles in the hammock for star gazing. including said pets. it’s a big hammock. 
  • everyone has an absurd knowledge about space. he was an astronaut and lived in space for a few years, so yeah
  • routinely uses Scary Aunt Allura as a threat
  • selfies!!! he has a lot of surprise ones where he just comes up and kisses you and takes the picture
    • the girls are selfie queens too family pictures happen. a lot.
    • “Family selfie!!” “We’re at Albertson’s????” “Don’t care, get in here.”
  • just, embarrassing but totally authentic dad!Shiro melts me

dlightwoodbane  asked:

Hi Cassie! I really love your books and I’m super exciting for LoS's release (one week!!!). I can't wait to see the Lightwood-Bane family. However I’m writing you because I’ve a question: I’d like to know why Magnus’s title is “High Warlock of Brooklyn “. Should not be “of New York”? Otherwise I’m asking if there was a Warlock for each New York’s boroughs. The question is born thinking about Ragnor, who was the High Warlock of London and Malcom, who was the High Warlock of LA. Thank you!

The title of High Warlock is something that warlocks determine among themselves. Since there aren’t very many of them, sometimes a warlock will start using the title “High Warlock” because they are the only warlock around. In other cases, a group of warlocks in a given area will choose one of their number for the title; usually the one who is most powerful, or most open to conducting business with Shadowhunters and other Downworlders. There are many cities and towns that have no warlocks, and thus, no High Warlock. There are also cities that have warlocks but no High Warlock, since many warlocks like to lie low and are not interested in the title.

Warlocks have occasionally fought over the title, but they are usually able to come to an understanding civilly.

For Magnus’s part, he likes Brooklyn, and keeps very busy with the affairs he conducts there. After living in the city for awhile, he decided that if he was going to be a High Warlock, a single borough was a more manageable area than all five. : ) Also I thought it was hilarious, but that’s me…

At this point, the other boroughs have warlocks who live in or frequent them, but none have been interested in stepping into the role of High Warlock. (Maybe this has to do with the New York state of mind—they all just want to mind their own business.)

chickenpox is honestly? one of the weirdest cultural things to exist. yhyh i know its not a cultural element, its a disease, but the culture that surrounds it is fucking ridiculous

like,, everyone’s just Expected to get chickenpox. its a part of childhood and because of ykno, developed immunity, you can only get it once, so you get hoards of ppl telling sick kids to enjoy it while it lasts because its become a SYMBOL of childhood. how hilarious is that?!

when i was 10 i did a school project on viruses and discovered tht a chickenpox vaccine exists, and let me tell u, that class of 9-11 year olds was outraged!! we thought it was so ridiculous tht ppl would get a vaccine to stop this universally-relatable fun-to-compare-experiences-about thing.

and, most amazingly: Chickenpox Playdates. possibly like the Weirdest thing people do wrt/ chickenpox right? so one kid gets ill and ofc suddenly everyone arranged playdates bc they want their kids to catch chickenpox asap. i mean it makes good sense but like, humans are fucking ridiculous

Weekly Reading List #5

Alright y'all… here’s my weekly reading list, hope you like it. I’ve added a ‘Keep Reading’ this time, bc freaking Smut Appreciation Day made this list pretty long. Enjoy it, and please feel free to leave a feedback, my askbox is always open!


Hookup by @jpadjackles
Prompt: Sam meets up with the reader at a bar, and neither of them want to go home alone. Both their jobs require them to move around a lot, and sometimes, they get a little antsy and crave the affection of another person. That leads them to Sam’s motel room for one night of pure fun.
Warnings: smut, oral (female receiving) fingering, this is PWP

this was incredibly hot and sweet. sam’s character was on point. i can imagine that they exchanged phone numbers to met again someday. at least that’s what i wished for.

Originally posted by demondetoxmanual


Slow Ride by @rizlowwritessortof
Yeah, you all should have known this was coming… They don’t call me Cowgirl for nothing…
Warning: Smutty Smut

Good god, after that scene, i hoped that someone would write a fic about it, and this is absolutely perfect!!!

Originally posted by faramaiofnerdwoodforest


The One With The Poking Device by @eyes-of-a-disney-princess
Summary - An awkward moment while sharing a bed leads to an interesting morning.
Warnings - Swearing (duh), injury (very slight),smut, oral sex/face riding (female), fingering, unsafe sex (remember irl to wrap it before you tap it)

This Fic is hilarious, seriously, it cracked me up. Awesome work, and hot af. Love it!

Originally posted by evergreendean


Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You're totally right about us missing a Sam snark-fest while he was labelling the room, bc I'm pretty sure when Dean's watching ScoobyDoo there's a lamp next to the bed labelled 'ANOTHER LAMP' like wow OK Sam. Also interesting to note is that while emphasis was put on the lightstick lamp, the other lamp is the regular DRESS lamp. Kinda almost masculine vs feminine lamps... I just think it's great that light can come from lamps of all shapes&sizes. It's all valid. Like male sirens. Just a thought

I was cracking up about the post-its because of this, went to look, totally over-shot the part of the episode I was looking for, and caught Rowena moving the labels around just to be petty about Sam being rude to her

^ that chair in the corner

Anyway proving Sam is hilariously petty is way more important than meta to me so I carried on looking and

Have I mentioned how much I love Sam Winchester today? I’m also cracking up that he felt the need to label the art “Art” which is probably a type of art all by itself. Like you could find this in a gallery and be “yeah okay” and wonder what the statement the artist was trying to make was.

Maybe after all this is over Sam goes on a motel art stealing spree, and puts them in a gallery with his post-it note commentary. I used to be sold on writer!Sam as an endgame but pretentious art weirdo Sam is also perfectly good by me.

I have got to stop before I screencap every single even slightly legible post-it

Although I think this is possibly the pinnacle of Sam’s labelling spree:

You know what now I’m actually trying to focus on answering this all I’ve got is laughing at how the “stick light” is kinda phallic :P It’s also at the desk and a reading lamp, and despite everything I think desks are still seen as kind of masculine spaces - at least, you’d think they’d be gender neutral enough but between years of patriarchy and the fact you KNOW manufacturers would find some way to make desks girly if they thought women were going to be using them and that’s who they were marketing to, that kind of practical sleek metal design of the lamp is probably something marketers and manufacturers would subconsciously assume was for men… TBH Dean not knowing wtf it was kind of draws attention to its design because it’s not exactly the archetypal light in the same way the bedside lamps looked pretty normal run of the mill lamps. Labelling one “lamp” and the other “another lamp” is like… drawing attention to sexual dimorphism in lamps? Pfft :P 

But yeah even setting aside the entire weight of what the Siren episode meant for Dean, I think it’s neat to revisit it just to point out that Sirens aren’t “all hot chicks” because it leaves the world open for that kind of more thoughtful exploration. If you take it at total face value, the siren episode seems fairly conscientious of toeing the line between gratuitous fanservice and NOT relying on said fanservice by just making it about Dean being needed to be saved from some scantily clad woman who sleeps with him and all that very typical narrative of lustful women ruining men. Which is like, a half credit when that was the entire set up for the episode plus multiple trips to the stripclub, but I suppose you could argue that was another age of the show (THREE ages of the show ago), and perhaps the thing we take away from it should be the unexpected twist on the trope. Like, looking at it with Dean’s total obliviousness, it’s playing off his expectations, because the social stuff is still deeply ingrained in him as one of the layers that is much further down than his memory to go. 

And then we have Sam’s expectations that Dean would be upset by that, like, sorry to break it to you, but Dean’s just like, “huh”, because he’s already ditched HIS personal crap which would make him weird about it. He just takes the sirens how they come :P Pfft.

Trying to Leave Him- Taehyung and Jungkook [Gang!AU]

Part of Trying to leave him

Part I, Part II, Part III

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B.A.P: Part I, Part II, Part III; BTS: Part I, Part II, Part III; Dean; EXO: Part I, Part II, Part III; Got7: {coming soon}; Monsta X: Part I, Part II, Part III

xoxo

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anonymous asked:

How do you feel about dan talking about phils innuendoes in the ls?

I WAS LIVING IM SO GLAD HE BROUGHT ATTENTION TO HOW EXTRA PHIL WAS IN THAT VIDEO!!!!!! the fact he described phil as ‘absolutely disgusting’ and also himself as phil’s cheerleader,, that whole thing was SOOo funny i actually laughed out loud bc you can tell dan just thinks it’s hilarious that a video now exists of phil making so many filthy jokes in a row (its kind of like when the baking vid happened last year and dan was so fucking obsessed w how dirty it was and kept drawing attention to any innuendo phil ever made for like two months after, as being a part of this post baking universe. i think dan lives for the demise of innocent!phil) 

I hope Y'all ready for the new kidge theory because oh boy I’m ready to show you guys my thoughts! This one is so interesting to think of and makes me wonder many times, many doubts and fears…
Anyway, let’s take a closer look at “Greening the Cube episode”

This particular episode is focused on Pidge’s element; nature and technology.
We are introduced to Olakrion and people who live there are called Olkari.
Olkaris are similar to Pidge, of course except the fact they love their natural environment, full of trees and flowers and many sorts of things you can find in the woods. Their technology was forced to evolve in a symbiosis with nature, they grow and they never stopped learning and progressing. Instead of just dealing with nature, Olkari used their surroundings to accomplish something more. Would be weird, if we Picture Pidge as Olkari for a one second? Not at all But, we will get back to this later.
So let’s stop right here, and talk about Keith’s performance in this episode.
He was very concerned about the possibility of him being a galra, that sometimes he looked like he was lost in thoughts, but that’s just the part of the deal.

So I just took an opportunity to make this because they’re staring at each other, first Pidge and then Keith.

And Keith, still being worried about his possible connection to Galra, noticed Pidge being a goofball against the air. I found it hilarious, “Yes, I’m not paying attention to anything” *Pidge fly away!* “Okay, I’m paying attention to one thing”.
So after that, Keith seems to be very focused on the task and being the one who took Pidge from her rambling mode “Pidge, what does it say?”
He knew, she was going to ramble for too long and she wasn’t mad or sad, she just gets to the point. He brings her back to focus.
Maybe, it’s just me, but Keith was so curious, and asked so many questions in this part, like, it’s interesting to think of.
First, he asks about the cubes, I’d never seen Keith being this fascinated ever.

The second thing is, how he sees the Olkari. He described them as “Literal tech Wizards” which leads us to think about a parallel between their power and power of the Galra druids. Both use the energy of life in some form and are able to manipulate it.Olakirs believe that every living creature is made from the same cosmic dust. But what if, this dust they’re talking about is a reference to the Quintessence, the same Galra are sucking from the whole planets?
I see here a parallel between Pidge and Haggar as both are able to work with these energies and both are scientists.

Of course, something else that is interesting is the fact how Keith is the only one who speaks about Pidge’s element. He compliments it, he likes nature, because it’s quiet. Why anybody else said nothing? Like, this was a conversation just between these two and no one was willing to interrupt their chit-chat.
Later he, Pidge and the rest of the crew are amazed by technology Olkari created, he is willing to get one tree robot, but, only Pidge was able to connect with the nature enough to pilot one of these things.
Slowly, getting to the point.
Meanwhile, Voltron Team was informed about Olkari’s problems with the Galra, and how Lubos is a hostage, they decided to help them.
So, listen.

First, we see how the team is looking very confused at the King Lubos watching a romantic - drama movie. Look at the team. Everybody except Keith is kind of “What the hell is this”, while Keith is more like “Hmm, this is interesting, I’m invested in this movie”
And then there is this scene:

At first, you see two aliens who seem to be arguing and maybe something more
Look what they’re wearing and what this scene reminds you of.
Their colors are mainly green, black and red. 

And then they’re going to kiss. What’s interesting, the green crock man is roaring at her.
Now King Lubos is screaming very interesting lines:

“BETRAYAL” “SHE LOVES YOU”

What if this is a reference? A symbol? What if there is more to this scene that we all were thinking there is? I told you, to try imagine Pidge as Olkarian right?
Let’s take a few steps back and remind ourselves, what happened between Keith and Pidge in the first season.
Keith was furious when Pidge wanted to leave Voltron.
He took it more personal, and from what we heard about his mother, we can assume, he felt betrayed by Pidge, leaving the team, leaving him for her brother and father. What if, he yelled at her as a defense? To do not let her reject him first? And don’t forget about the fact, Keith actually remembers that and we all saw it in the flashbacks from his blog. That was the only one time, he took that situation personally and yelled directly at one person.
You can say:”Okay, Jay, so what’s the point?”
The point is, DW always tend to show prophecies in this show and never put something just for the sake of showing it and not doing anything with it later. Prophecies in this show and never put something just for the sake of showing it and not doing anything with it later.
There are always hints, you could catch if you pay more than enough attention.

See, if we just answered what could “Betrayal” mean, there is still “She loves you” to explain. See, in this picture, we can already catch some petals in the background of the movie, it might represent a “blossoming romance”
Or… Blossoming relationship. Remember how Bex described the potential Pidge and Keith’s interactions? As “adoring each other secretly” and how she would like to see it turning into a blossoming EMOTIONAL relationship, friendship at first.
Notice, how crocks facial expression is similar to most Keith’s reactions.
My point is. These characters are simmiliar to Keith and Pidge.

Notice, Keith used to have a similar piece of clothing, he is actually the one who used to wear that kind of thing. 

And now look at his screenshot of Pidge in season 4.
She has a similiar hood as the Olkarian Lady from the movie.
In summary, I have a theory - we are missing something between their interactions. AND WE ARE BEING TROLLED ALL THIS TIME, ALL THE SMALL HINTS, ALL THE SIMILARITIES, ARE SLOWLY MAKING BIGGER PIECE AND MAYBE… It’s just the matter of time before we will see a big Keith/Pidge interaction plot in the show.
But hey, that’s just a theory.
A KIDGE CONSPIRACY THEORY.
Go ahead and feel free to add your own thoughts!

This is why I’m at peace with Episode 12 

Part 1 of 2 - Katsuki Yuuri’s journey

I have a friend who was somewhat disappointed with the ending of Season 1 of YOI, so I’ve written a full analysis on Yuuri and Victor’s motivations and goals.

It’s lengthy, but I hope it does help some of you feel more satisfied with what happened in Episode 12. Yuuri and Victor will have separate posts.

Click here to read Part 1 - Yuuri’s analysis.
Click here to read Part 2 - Victor’s analysis.

(And I am really sorry about the length of this, guys. There is a KEEP READING cut beneath this paragraph, but I know sometimes phone apps ignore them. I apologize in advance that tumblr doesn’t always recognize its own coding.)

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Thanks Again for Participating in the Fresh_Hell/Fatal Fools Event!

It is, unfortunately (or fortunately) over. All radical things must come to an end, my dude. For those who missed it or missed part of it, or just want to relive the nightmare fun all over again, the first official post of the event was THIS ONE. I added a ‘next’ button to each post to take you through the event, all the way through to the end. Once I get the chance, I’ll add this entire event to the Story Archive page.

I’m really glad so many folks got a kick out of it! I actually wasn’t planning on releasing the YOLO.exe comic just yet but then I thought of this silly idea and the timing was right and I just thought it was way too entertainingly dumb to not go for it XD And I’m glad I did! I didn’t get to do all that I wanted to do, but it turned out so much better than I had planned :D

AND A REALLY REALLY BIG THANK YOU GOES TO ALL OF YA’LL WHO SENT IN MESSAGES THROUGHOUT THE EVENT!

I didn’t get to answer anywhere near as many as I wanted to, but I read them all and thought they were amazing, hilarious, and sweet XD Thanks for all of your great questions and support. You’re all so awesome <3

Also, running an ask blog (even for a few measly hours) is HARD WORK. OH MY GOSH. If you follow any ask blogs go tell them thank you and that you appreciate what they do. Draw them a picture or something. They deserve it.


Lastly, let me just clear up a few things about what was part of the joke and what wasn’t:

* YOLO.exe is a real side comic (still non-canon) that will be completed

* I’m not going on a mini-hiatus because of computer issues (of all things this was the thing I was most nervous joking about XD). Chapter Three isn’t ready yet and I’m still planning, but no hiatus for me right now

* Fatal_Error’s fine, he just needs to walk it off, or…something…probably?

* Dunno where Fresh is? Not here probably. Also Fresh_Hell isn’t available for questions :)


Okay I think that’s all!

Peace out, brahs <3 BD

Best Quotes of Experimentation

Hey @redlance, remember that anon? That was me.
My “collection” of your quotes sprinkled with my thoughts turned out a mess tbh, and it’s kinda really late, and way too long, but here you go anyways:

Best Quotes of Experimentation, aka The Bechloe Bible™. Chapters 1-35.

[or: what you should read if u love that fic but ur too lazy for a whole reread.]

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The College Years - Freshman Year (Chapter 12) - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “The Second Victim”

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Scott McCall & Reader/OFC

Warnings: Depictions of violence, explicit language.

Summary: Lydia and Stiles discuss the past and their current relationships and mend fences for good, while on a mission to find the second attack victim, a UC Berkeley student named Bridget Keller. The gang figure out what the vampires have been doing.

Chapter Eleven - Chapter Twelve - Chapter Thirteen

Originally posted by teen-martinski


“Do you actually think that Y/N and Scott have a group project for a Western Civ. class?” Lydia asked, breaking the silence in her small Toyota Corolla.

“I don’t think that they absolutely had to work on the project tonight…” Stiles replied, glancing over at Lydia.

“Mmm..” Lydia didn’t know what to say in response. She sat in silence for a minute more, waiting for the traffic light to turn green. “We used to be better at this, Stiles.”

“I know..” Stiles fidgeted with his hands. “You know, I never thought that I’d get over you and Parrish. I thought that I’d hate him until the day that I died…” He began admitting.

“Stiles… you don’t need to do this.” Lydia interjected, her voice quiet and cracking.

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Tutor | highschool!au

Originally posted by black-pink-lisa-stuff

Lisa x Reader (fem)

Fluff/Angst

Summary: You think it’s hilarious that Lisa, one of the most popular girls in school, who, by the way, has never talked to you in her entire life, wants you to tutor her. You decline, of course, but you didn’t expect her to turn up on your doorstep the next morning with a mocha in hand and a too bright smile on her face.

A/N: This is something I thought of and I kinda just winged it, so I apologise in advance if this is crap. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Part I | Part II

Word Count: 3,912

Warnings: Nothing much, a couple of swear words.

Platinum blonde hair frames her face and she looks at you through wide, compelling eyes, lower lip sticking out in a surprisingly endearing pout. You look away, staring at the quickly fading sunset in the far distance with an absent minded look in your eyes as you ponder over the words that had just slipped from the girl’s mouth.

     Lisa reaches forward, touching your arm softly and you resist the urge to recoil but you can see from the hurt flickering through her eye that despite your best attempt at shielding your emotions, she’d still seen it.

     You sigh and look away again, running a hand through your hair.

     “Look, Y/N, I really need your help.”

     You detect a pleading note in her voice and spare her a brief glance, your gaze drifting from her eyes, large and imploring - you make sure to look away quickly - to her lips, to her collarbone and downwards until you catch yourself and your gaze jerks upwards, just in time to catch the knowing smirk dancing across the dancer’s lips. You scowl and turn away, grabbing your stuff from the park bench.

     “Find someone else, Lisa,” you say, your voice quiet and emotionless. You sling your backpack over your shoulder and you’re just about to leave when someone grabs your arm. Her grip is surprisingly strong and you find yourself unable to move.

     “Y/N, c’mon, I don’t know anybody else who can help me with this.”

     You don’t look at her, still trying vainly to tug yourself out of her grip.

     “First of all, Manoban,” you say as you turn around, giving up on your attempt to free yourself from her grip. “You don’t know me. I doubt you’d even know who I am, if, let me guess,” you tilt your head, allowing a sardonic smile to slip lazily onto your lips, “Jennie? It was Jennie wasn’t it? You probably wouldn’t even know I existed if it wasn’t for her. So, you would understand if I don’t quite see why I should help you.” Her grip falters and you take the opportunity to jerk your arm away. “Unlike some people, I don’t feel obligated to do whatever you tell me to do just because of your status on the high school totem pole. So, either tell Jennie to tutor you herself because I’m not going to, or find somebody else. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who would gladly do so, although, whether or not they actually have the brains to tutor you is another story.”

     Lisa looks somewhat startled as if she didn’t expect you to turn on her and fling a lecture, or a rant of sorts, in her face. Now that you thought about it, she probably hadn’t expected it, because why would she? She’d asked nicely, right? She hadn’t done anything particularly out of hand to get you to comply with her request.

     For a moment, you take pleasure in Lisa’s stunned surprise, then, catching yourself, you give her a two fingered salute and turned away. As you walked away, hands shoved deep inside the pockets of your jeans, you find yourself somewhat amused over your interaction with the dyed blonde girl.

——

     That night, at about 2:47am, your phone buzzed and rang. Your eyes open groggily and you blink before reaching over to grab your phone, stabbing the answer button with a finger without checking for the caller id and holding it by your ear.

     “What?” you growl.

     “I see you’re chipper as always, Y/N,” Jennie drawls and you can hear the spark of amusement in her voice. You’re suddenly overcome with the temptation to yell a string of profanities and hang up on her. You just manage to resist the urge and after a moment, find yourself somewhat unsurprised that it was her on the other end of the line.

     Jennie, Lisa, Jisoo and Rose are from the popular end of the high school totem pole - most of the time, they did not acknowledge the presence of your kind (those that possessed a place on the lower end of the totem pole) and you did not acknowledge theirs, given that you could hardly give a fuck about popularity in general.

     Jennie was an exception. You’d known her since you were young and the two of you had been extremely close in Kindergarten. You’d grown apart over the years, but the two of you still remained friends of sorts, often competing to see who would get the better grades. She was also crazy, as demonstrated by the phone call in the middle of the night.

     “What do you want?” Your voice cracks embarrassingly and even in the darkness, you can feel a flush on your cheeks. You scowl.

     You know Jennie is itching to say something snarky, but perhaps out of fear of upsetting you further, or of you hanging up the phone, she refrains from doing so and instead gets straight to the point.

     “Why won’t you tutor Lisa?” she asks and distantly, you can hear papers rustling.

     “Please don’t tell me you called at three in the morning just to ask me about that,” you groan, shoving your face into your pillow. “I’d be forced to kill you tomorrow.”

     “No, you can’t, you’d miss me too much.” Jennie’s comment is almost too offhand, and once again, you’re almost tempted to hang up on her. You don’t, however, and not for the first time, wonder if you’re too good for this world. “But seriously, why won’t you tutor Lisa?”

     “Why won’t you tutor her?” you throw the question back in her face, your words somewhat muffled by the pillow. “You’re almost as good as I am. And you know her.”

     She ignores you. “I can’t tutor her,” she says instead, “because I know her. And I’m busy.”

     “I’m busy too,” you mutter. “I’m going to hang up now. Bye.”

     “Wait, Y/N!”

     You grumble something incoherent which Jennie takes as her cue to continue. “Can’t you do it as a favour for me?”

     You’re surprised to see her so insistent and you blink, suddenly intrigued. “This is new,” you say, amused. “I didn’t know Lisa’s education meant so much to you, Jendeuk.”

     “Whatever,” she doesn’t appear to hear what you’re saying, or she’s pretending not to. You roll your eyes even though she can’t see you and you rest a lazy hand across your forehead. “Will you tutor her or not?”

     “What’s in it for me?” You don’t want to admit it but you want to know why Jennie is so insistent. Especially on something which did not directly involve her.

     “It’s a favour for me, Y/N,” Jennie sounds somewhat exasperated and you hear a drawer slamming in the distance. “I guess I’ll owe you. But since you owe me for last time. Consider this your only way of paying off your debt.”

     You mutter something inaudible. “Whatever. I’ll think about it. See you tomorrow, deuk.” Without waiting for her reply, you hang up, slam the phone down and close your eyes.

——

     Someone taps your shoulder as you lock the door behind you and you turn around abruptly, key in hand, as if you were about to drive it into the other person’s eye. Which, if you were being honest, you would’ve if the person wasn’t someone you know, and unfortunately, you thought with a mental sigh, that said person was someone you did, in fact, know.

     “Lisa.” You rub your eyes, the conversation from last night slowly returning and a grimace flickers across your face. You don’t bother to hide it. “What do you want?”

     The dyed blonde appears unperturbed by your standoffish attitude and instead, beams at you brightly. She shoves something into your hand. “Hi!” she chirps, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “I bought you coffee.”

     You glance down. “I don’t drink coffee,” you deadpan, placing the paper mug back into her hand.

     She pushes it back, still smiling. You’re beginning to wonder if she too, is crazy. Why the hell is she smiling this early in a school morning? Even you aren’t smiling. But then again, you rarely smile.

     “I know,” Lisa says and taps the paper mug in your hand, “that’s why I bought a mocha. And I know there’s coffee in a mocha, so what you said about not drinking coffee is technically wrong. And don’t say you don’t drink mocha, because I know you do. You buy it every morning from the shop by the corner of this street.”

     You stare at her, caught off guard. You don’t like being caught off guard and quickly disguise your surprise with a scowl. Your scowl darkens when you catch Lisa staring and your grip around the paper cup tightens considerably.

     “You do realise that that’s incredibly creepy and stalker-ish, right?” you say to Lisa, taking a reluctant sip of the mocha as you set off down the road towards school.

     “Yep!” Lisa bounces beside you, too bubbly for your taste. You glare at her.

     “How do you even know my morning habits?” you ask tightly.

     “Jennie told me,” Lisa glances over at you, her eyes widening. “Hey, Y/N, slow down, you’re going to burn yourself.”

     For some reason, you’d decided to throw your head back and pour excessive amounts of hot mocha down your throat. You grimace, your face scrunching up as you swallow thickly, wondering what the hell had gotten into you. Lisa offers you a bottle of water which you stubbornly decline with a dismissive wave of your hand. You don’t need help, least of all her help.

     “I’m fine,” you grumble, your pace quickening. It does nothing to deter Lisa, however, as her legs are significantly longer than yours. Once again, you find yourself blaming your parents’ genes for your height. You might just as well be a dwarf, honestly.

     “Why are you following me, anyway?” you find yourself glowering and you look away quickly. “And why did you buy me coffee? Also, how the fuck did Jennie know I drink mocha from the corner shop? And why did she tell you?”

     Lisa glances over at you mildly and grins widely. “You said you aren’t going to tutor me because I don’t know you,” she lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “This is me getting to know you. And Jennie might pretend to hate me, but she secretly loves me.”

     You shoot her a dry look. “This is a bit excessive,” you deadpan. “And don’t be sure about Jen. She often has secret motives hidden behind her secret motives.”

     Lisa frowns. “I didn’t think this was excessive,” she says, tilting her head thoughtfully. “I thought this was pretty mild.”

     “Wow,” you shake your head and hurry forwards, turning around the corner. Lisa catches up effortlessly and you’re suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to stick your foot out to trip her. That childish urge vanishes as soon as it arrived, but it leaves you suddenly unsure. You don’t like being unsure and you scowl. “And this doesn’t mean I agree to tutor you.”

     For a moment, you think Lisa falters and you shoot her a sideways glance. She appears unperturbed however, and instead offers you a shrug. “Okay.”

     You look at her suspiciously. “What do you mean, okay?” Hadn’t she been begging you to tutor her?

     Lisa just grins and grabs your arm. “C’mon, we’re going to be late.”

     “Lisa, let go of my arm,” you glare at her and she ignores you, practically dragging you up the steps into the building. You fight back for the first few seconds, then fall limp in her grip, wondering what you’ve ever done to the universe to deserve this. You conclude, as Lisa draws to a stop and your eyes land on a familiar figure, that you just have plain bad luck.

     “Hi Y/N,” the corner of Jennie’s lip quirks upwards in a smirk and her eyes twinkle with suppressed amusement.

     You scowl at her and shove a finger in her direction. “You,” you mutter darkly.

     “Me?” she’s grinning now, books in hand. “What about me?”

     “I’m going to kill you.” For what? You weren’t too sure. For waking you up at two in the morning, for telling Lisa about the mocha, for putting Lisa up to this? Wait, how did she even know you buy coffee from that corner shop every morning? Also, how could you even be sure it was her behind all this weird and sudden hospitality from Lisa?

     Jennie waves at Chaeyoung and Jisoo as they walk past, then flashes you a bright smile and a wink. “You’ll thank me soon enough, Y/N. See you later, Lisa.”

     Lisa, you realise suddenly as you turn to face her, has been unusually quiet.

     “Yo, earth to Lisa,” you wave a hand in front of her face, rolling your eyes when she focuses and blinks.

     “Oh, sorry,” she smiles sheepishly at you to which you reply with another roll of your eyes. You sling your bag over your shoulder, give her another one of your two fingered salutes and walk off.

     You find yourself grimly unsurprised to see her beside you a moment later and you let out a resigned sigh.

     “We have English together,” she chirps, happily slipping an arm through yours. “Let’s go!” You give her a look and shake her off, but her other hand is already encircling your wrist and you find yourself being half dragged, half walked towards your classroom. People watch and stare as the two of you pass by and you can hear whispers: ‘what is Y/N doing with Lisa?’ ‘I thought Y/N didn’t have friends’ - and you resist the urge to stick your tongue out.

     “Ignore them.”

     You look at the blonde and narrow your eyes at the concern flickering across her dark gaze. “You do realise I don’t give a fuck about what they say, right?”

     She just gives you a look, the kind of look that says something along the lines of ‘please, we both know you’re lying

     “I’m not lying.”

     “I never said you were.”

     “Then don’t look at me like that.”

     She doesn’t ask you what you mean and falls silent, but you don’t fail to notice Lisa glaring at a boy who had been badmouthing you seconds ago, and a smile adorns your face as he scurries away, looking a lot like a pitiful dog with its tail tucked securely between its legs.

     You realise that don’t exactly hate her company as much as you thought you would.

——

     “I can’t believe you’re still following me,” you deadpan as you make your way out of the school doors, Lisa at your side.

     “I said I was going to get to know you,” she smiles softly at you, “I’m a girl of my word.”

     “You still know fuck all about me,” you look at her, unimpressed. “I mean, other than the fact that you know about my morning habits, which I still think is creepy as fuck.”

     “Okay,” Lisa links arms with you which you resist almost immediately, but she persists and eventually you give up. “We’ll get to know each other then. Come over to my house.”

     “What if I don’t want to get to know you?” You look at her, expressionless.

     “I’ll be hurt,” she does an exaggerated expression of her being hurt and it’s so funny that you can’t help but laugh. It’s only for a second or two before the sound fades away as you compose yourself, but it’s enough to have Lisa is smiling like crazy because your laughter is the prettiest sound she’s ever heard.

     “Hey, you laughed.” There’s something like wonder in her eyes and your face reverts back to a scowl almost instantaneously as you glower darkly at her, silently daring her to make another comment about your laughter.

     “You wish,” you retort and look away, refusing to meet her eyes. You’re somewhat embarrassed and there’s a flush creeping up your neck and colouring your cheeks. Silently, you curse yourself.

     Lisa notices it and opens her mouth, ready to say something.. She thinks twice, however, and shuts her mouth, thinking that if she did say something about your blush, you would probably never talk to her again.

     “You have a nice laugh, you know,” she says instead and casually drapes an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. You don’t even bother resisting anymore and just grumble incoherently. “You should laugh more.”

     “Whatever.”

     “So, are you coming to my house or not?”

     “No.”

     “Then I’m going to yours.”

     “You can’t.”

     “You can’t stop me, Y/N. Besides, I just wanna hang out. C’monnn.”

     You don’t look at her because you know you’re going to crumble and instead, you storm forward with dogged sort of determination. “If I agree to tutor you, will you stop following me around?”

     You stop in your steps and turn to face her.

     Lisa stops as well and shakes her head. “I promised myself I would get to know you,” she says. “I’m nothing if not a girl of my word. And anyways, why are you so determined to shake me off?”

     “I’m not determined to shake it off,” you mutter, running a hand through your hair. “I just want to know why you’re suddenly so interested in getting to know me after not talking to me for your entire life. You do realise that there are loads of other people who are qualified to tutor you, right?”

     Lisa grins cheekily at you. “I’ll tell you if you come to my place.”

     “I’m not going to go.”

     “But you don’t have anything else to do!”

     “I have a lot of things to do, Lalisa. Things that you can’t even begin to comprehend.”

     “Name one, then.” Lisa lifts an eyebrow and crosses her arms across her chest, patiently waiting for an answer.

     You hesitate and rack your brains for a legitimate excuse. “I have an appointment with someone,” you say at last, and technically, it’s true. You do have an appointment with someone this afternoon, although if that someone knew what was going on right now, they would probably cancel on you without a second thought.

     “What, with Jennie?” she grins at your reaction, knowing she’d caught you out. “Don’t worry. She’s at my place, along with Chaeng and Jisoo. You can get to know them as well! It’ll be fun, I promise.”

     “And why would I want to get to know a bunch of stuck-up, arrogant, popular kids?” you bite out. “I’m totally fine alone.”

     Lisa just rolls her eyes and grabs your hand. “We’re not as stuck-up as people think we are, Y/N.”

     “Stop touching me,” you try to jerk your hand away but Lisa is strong, really strong and your attempt ends in vain.

     “I’ll stop if you come with me.” She sticks out her other hand for a handshake and after a moment, you reluctantly clasp hands with her. “I have free food, as well,”

      Free food?

     “Fine.”

——

     Lisa’s friends, you realise, aren’t as you’d imagined them to be. Jisoo is delightfully weird and she constantly makes you laugh which, for some reason, Lisa appears to be slightly miffed about. You dismiss that thought, however, chalking it up to the fact that the youngest didn’t like being outplayed by the oldest.

     Chaeyoung is surprisingly sweet and you grow to like her almost immediately. In fact, aside from Jennie, you probably get along best with her. She was fun and quirky without Lisa’s weirdness and Jisoo’s 4D personality.

     Well, you thought absentmindedly as you lay on Lisa’s couch and watched the four of them attempt a ridiculous dance move, they were all weird. It was their charm.

     That night, Jennie offered to drive you back home and because you’d rather not walk back in the dark given that your house was quite a distance away from Lisa’s, you agreed to her offer.

     “So, you’ll tutor her, then?”

     Jennie glances away from the street for a moment and meets your gaze evenly.

     You lift your shoulder in a shrug and a sigh escapes your lips.

     “I dunno.” You reply honestly and look away. There’s honestly no reason why you shouldn’t tutor Lisa. She was nice, funny and she’d gone out of her way to get to know you even when there were dozens out there who would’ve jumped at the chance to tutor her. And even though you don’t want to admit it, you kinda like Lisa. She seems like the kind of person you could use as a friend.

     “C’mon. I know she’s annoying at times but she has a good heart.”

     “I know,” you rake your fingers through your hair. “I still don’t get why you can’t tutor her.”

     The car slows to a stop in front of your house and Jennie turns to look at you, a smile on her lips.

     “I told you. I’m busy, and I can’t tutor her. It’s hard to explain.”

     You lean back in your seat, your lips curving upwards into a lazy lopsided smile. “I’ve got all the time in the world. Shoot.”

     She laughs and rolls her eyes. “No, you don’t.”

     “I don’t. Exactly. I don’t have time to tutor her either.”

     She gives you the look that you’re becoming all too familiar with. The ‘please, we both know you’re lying’ look.

     “It’ll give you something more productive to do than sitting around and watching whatever TV shows you’re into now, all day, and you know it.” She leans over, pushes the door open and gazes at you expectantly.

     “Why are you so insistent?”

     “Why can’t you tutor her?”

     You grimace and grab your bag, stepping out of the car. “I’ll think about it,” you say finally, with an air of reluctance, scowling when Jennie flashes you a knowing smile. You slam the door shut with more force than intended.

     ——

     Lisa shows up the next day, at the same time, with a mocha in hand, a grin on her face, and a joke on her tongue.

     On the third day, you don’t even react to the tap on your shoulder. Instead, you ignore the mocha and stare her through narrowed eyes. “Fine,” you say after a moment of silence. “I’ll tutor your dumb ass. But you’ll have to drive me to your house, and then back to my house after tutoring sessions.”

     Lisa stares at you silently, her expression blank and you’re beginning to have second thoughts about this whole thing. A scowl descends on your features and you grab the mocha in Lisa’s hand before walking off. “The deal’s off in five seconds, Manoban, if you don’t agree to it.”

     She’s by your side a second later, beaming so brightly that you feel the corner of your own lips quirking upwards into a smile and a scream erupts from her mouth. You wince, your face scrunching up in pain. “Jesus Christ, woman. Are you trying to kill me, or something?

     “This is awesome, Y/N! Of course I’ll drive you.” She slings an arm around your shoulder, completely ignoring what you said. “I knew you’d come around eventually.”

     “There’s no need to sound so happy about it,” you mutter, adjusting the strap of your bag, somewhat caught off guard. “It’s just maths.”

     But Lisa is past listening to you, too busy babbling about something else. It’s a habit that you’re soon beginning to find both endearing, and incredibly annoying. With a tired sigh, you take a sip of your mocha and wonder how you’d gotten from a happy loner to the unhappy Maths tutor of Lalisa Manoban.

Bad dates- Peter maximoff x reader

Requested by: @mutantsandproud

Warnings: none unless you count a bad date

Request: “You think I’m nervous because you’re interviewing me for this high end job but it’s actually because you’re really hot” AU would be amazing with Erik Lehnsherr Or “I’m on a bad date and you’re my waiter please help” AU with Peter Maximoff would be hilarious Could you do one of these please? Or both if you want :D Thanks!

More specifically this part: “I’m on a bad date and you’re my waiter please help” AU with Peter Maximoff would be hilarious Could you do one of these please? Or both if you want :D Thanks!

I’m doing both!

This is random by Ms.Hunter comes from Stevie Hunter who was a dance instructor there (It’s not what I used her for in the story but it’s kind of similar) Also she’s in here just as a name iit’s not her personality at all, I just thought it would be an interesting reference

It felt like years since Peter’s been on a date. It was more like two or three months, but to Peter it felt like years. He had never been the best with girls, or really wanted to go on dates. For this girl he made an exception. She was the music teacher at the school, Ms. Hunter. One of the things Peter loves is music, he’s almost always listening to it. Half the time he has his headphones on, which does tends to annoy people. So when Peter learned that Ms.Hunter or Stevie, as he is going to call her on his date, showed interest in him, he jumped on the opportunity to take her on one.

Peter knocked on her eagerly awaiting to see her. Stevie opened the door and smiled at Peter, her brown eyes lighting up as she saw him. Peter looked at Stevie, her brown hair was in cornrows with golden beads at the end. She wore a red plaid skirt, and a white tubetop, the only thing that didn’t look very formal about her outfit was her white sneakers. This is kind of awkward Peter thought to himself. Peter was wearing what he always wore, a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and his silver jacket.

“You look nice.” Peter commented

After a moment of silence, and Stevie staring at Peter’s outfit, Stevie finally said, “You do to,” Peter could tell it wasn’t sincere, it sounded like a question, and not a compliment.

“So, is it ok if I run you their, I can assure you it’s safe” Peter asked

“If it’s ok, I’d rather not. We can just take my car, you can just give me the directions and i’ll drive.” She declined

“If that’s what you want,” Peter answered with a fake smile.

Peter never liked driving, it was to slow for him. He also found driving really boring. If peter knows where he’s going, he would much rather run.

The car drive was bland. It mostly consisted of small talk. He also messed up the directions a few times, because he memorized how to run there, and not how to drive. Peter was very relieved when they got to the restaurant.

“So tell me a little bit about the restaurant.” Stevie stated

“Alright, it’s not to big, and not super fancy, but I did make reservations, because the wait can take forever sometimes. It’s not super exotic because I didn’t know what type of food you like. The food is good, I’ve been there a couple of times. It’s mainly known for being a nice pizza place, but they have other stuff too like salads.” Peter responded trying to make it sound as nice as it can, without overdoing it.

“It sounds pleasant!” Stevie commented

They walked into the small restaurant together. Stevie looking around as they entered. Stevie wasn’t very satisfied. The restaurant was small, and rustic, but still very nice. It had wooden chairs, and tables. The fabric on the booths chairs was an off-white, and the walls appeared to look like walls you would find in a cabin. In the corner there was a small bar with some bar stools that were made of the same wood as the chairs. The restaurant smelled very nice like a burning campfire, probably because of the wood ovens they used for making their pizzas.

Peter looked at Stevie, who was clearly disgusted by the smell Peter enjoyed. He walked up to the host, trying to take his eyes of Stevie’s look of disgust. The host smiled, and complimented Stevie on her skirt, Peter could tell he was trying to get rid of her look of disgust. Stevie smiled at the host, but quickly went back to the disgust face.

“Do you have reservations?” The host asked.

“We do,” Peter responded “under Maximoff.”

“Alright!” The host said getting silverware, and menus out of the tubs next to him, “I’ll show you to your table.”

The host took them to a small booth near the back of the restaurant. It was next to a window, That’s nice Peter thought to himself, If It gets any more boring I can stare out the window. Peter and Stevie sat down across from each other. Stevie quickly grabbed the menu, and quickly began flipping through it.

“Your waitress should be here in a moment,” The host said before walking back to the front.

Peter picked up the menu and looked through it a bit, in less than a minute their waitress was their. Peter looked at the waitress, She’s very pretty Peter thought.

“Hello,I’m (Y/n) i’ll be serving you today” The waitress greeted “Can I start you off with some drinks?” She asked

Wow her voice is as pretty as her. Peter thought, What am I thinking? I’m on a date. Focus Peter, focus. Before Peter knew it Stevie started ordering, for both of them?

“We’re actually ready to order. Two caesar salads please! Also water for both of us.”

“Alright, I’ll be back with your drinks in a moment.” The waitress, Peter now knew as (Y/n) said.

“Great, thanks!’ Stevie thanked her.

“Oh.., sorry thanks!” Peter quickly said before (Y/n) went off the get their drinks

I can’t believe she ordered for me. I could understand her getting me a water, but ordering me a salad. I would rather have a pizza. Peter complained to himself, Can today get any worse?


“What do you think of the restaurant.” Peter questioned, not expecting a good answer.

“It’s alright, I’m not a fan of the smell, or pizza. I hope it’s alright I got you a salad by the way.” She answered.

It’s not he thought. He didn’t say that of course, instead he responded “It’s alright, I haven’t had their salad before, but if it’s as good as the rest of the food here it will be amazing.”

“I’m sure it will be better than it smelled.” she laughed “I was expecting something more romantic though, like a candlelit dinner and flowers, but this…works, I guess”

“I’m glad it works.” Peter said coming off more unfriendly than he intended.


The conversation was luckily cut off when (Y/n) returned.

“Here you go! Two waters.” She said sweetly setting the water down on the table.

“I’ll be back with the salads.” she said hurrying off again.

“So on a different note,” Peter started “What’s your mutation?”

“I’m actually not one, I’m just a teacher. But i’m very supportive of mutant rights, and believe that they deserve them. ” She answered

I thought everyone at the school was a mutant? Maybe they made an exception. Peter thoughts were cut off when (Y/n) put a caesar salad next to him.

“Two caesar salads!” She stated “if you need anything let me know.” She quickly walked away, and to the next table.
“Speaking of mutations!” Stevie stated “You’re an X-men! You’ve saved the world! What’s it like?”

Then it clicked. Stevie wanted to go on a date with Quicksilver, not Peter Maximoff. Even though they were the same they were different, ones a hero and saves the world, they other is the person behind the one who saves the world, the one with personality, thoughts, and emotions. Stevie just wanted a hero, Quicksilver, not Peter.

“Peter! Hello! I asked a question!” Stevie said tapping his shoulder.

“Sorry I was lost in thought. To answer your question, it’s nice, I guess, knowing I’m doing good for people.”

“Your very heroic! It must be scary, I would be worried about getting hurt.” She responded “I’ll be back I’m going to powder my nose.”

“Alright.” Peter said

I need to leave now. I can’t just skip the bill, and leave her here, that would be awkward tomorrow. It hasn’t even been a long time, so I can’t say I’m tired. I’ve got it! I’ll ask (Y/n).

“Excuse me, (y/n) right?” he asked as she passed, even though he very well knew her name was (Y/n) “Can you help me?”

“Yes it’s (Y/n) she answered, and how can I help you?

“I need a really big favor!” Peter laughed awkwardly “It’s really big…”

“What is it? I can atleast try.” she said sweetly

“My date is in the bathroom, it’s been a very bad date, I mean really really bad.” Peter explained

“I’ve been their,” (y/n) laughed, “You want me to ruin it?”

“Well,” Peter tried to think of a better way to put it but couldn’t think off one

“Um,” he laughed awkwardly “Pretty much.”

“I’ve got an idea. It involves me dumping water on her. Is that alright? She seems very rude, and something tells me we won’t be losing a customer.”

“I don’t mind, in a way you could even say she’s using me so, go ahead. But what about your job, will your boss get mad.” He asked

“My boss is my uncle. He’ll probably figure it out right after I do it. I hope this doesn’t make it weird between you, and her.” She explained

“It may, but I really don’t wanna see her again.” Peter laughed

(Y/n) picked up Stevie’s almost empty glass and said, “All right, operation spill water on- I didn’t get your name.” She said

“It’s Peter,” he told her.

“Operation spill water on Peter’s date,is a go!” She laughed, rushing to kitchen to fill Stevie’s water up.

From the corner of his eye, Peter saw Stevie. Stevie flashed a toothless smile at Peter, it looked kind of sarcastic though.

Stevie sat down, and looked at the table. After a second, she asked “Where’s the water?”

“I had the waitress get you some more, since it was almost empty.” Peter lied

“That’s nice of you, thanks” Stevie said flashing another sarcastic smile.

Peter held back his laughter as (Y/n) approached. He felt kinda bad, but she only went on a date with him because he was an X-men which is very shallow, she has also been rude to him all night. This date has been amazing so far, Peter thought sarcastically. This will be the best part of the date.

(Y/n) rushed over to Stevie, and ‘tripped’ on her foot, causing water to start splash on Stevie.

“What the hell!” Stevie screamed.

“I’m sorry! I’ll go get napkins!” (Y/n) apologized trying to sound sorry.

“No you won’t! Not before I yell at you at least! You’re salad taste like trash! This place smell disgusting! I also hate pizza! This date has been awful! To top that I saw you flirting with
my date, before you ran off to get me water!You’ve lost a customer today!” Stevie ranted

(Y/n) and Peter looked down to hide their laughs. A couple people who, probably heard Peter, and (y/n)’s plan laughed. Stevie stomped her foot, and ran out. The moment Stevie ran out Peter, and (y/n) laughed.

“That was awesome!” Peter yelled, a little too loud, “Do you do that for every guy who has bad date?”

“Only the cute ones!” (Y/n) giggled “I also only offer the cut ones a free pizza, and their salad on the house.”

“You don’t have to do that!” Peter said

“I want to! I haven’t had this much fun at work ever! My shift ended a couple minutes ago, I could make us a pizza, and we could watch movies at my place!”

“I would love to!” Peter answered

“Good I’ll make the pizza and be back!” (Y/n) said rushing to the kitchen

Later (y/n) returned to Peter, and they went to her house. Peter’s new date turned out well, complete with pizza, movies, and conversation that wasn’t small talk.

4

Cate Blanchett on working with Barry Levinson in Bandits

I’m really enjoying working with Barry. He’s such a fantastic audience and such a terrible singer. He is shocking. Every we’ve been talking about what songs I would sing at certain points in the film and he goes you know the one ‘Bill, Bill’ and he said you know the other one ‘my part…’ I have no idea what he’s talking about.and we had a bit of a language problem I couldn’t understand him. For the first few weeks and I thought it is because you know he is from from the Baltimore area and I’m from Sydney. It’s some sort of…but he’s just he’s got his own very particular language and his own very particular take on things which is hilarious. ( x)