Broken Heart ☂ pt. 4 (final)
Title: Broken Heart
Pairing: Hanbin x Reader
Genre: Romance, Slight Angst
Length: ~1350 (in this chapter only)
Request: Hanbin makes mix-tapes for his ex-girlfriend but she throws them away, so you listen to them instead
A/N: it’s finallllllyyyyyyyyyy doneee~ yoo idk i kind of feel sad to end it here but yeah. If i have any good ideas there might be a sequel! And if you haven’t read the whole thing yet stop and click on this first aka pt. 1. thanks for reading and all the feedback, you guys are <3333.
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Strong enough to leave you, but weak enough to need you…
You weren’t quite sure how much time had passed– how much time had passed since those hands had just let go of you when you needed them the most, when you needed them to hold you even tighter. Maybe you had hoped for too much. It was wrong and you knew it, keeping your hopes up for something that was impossible all along. How could a broken diamond be fixed by just an average human-being you were?
The apartment felt so empty without him, you suddenly missed his early-morning visits and the crazy places he always brought you to. Your eyes met the white ceiling and you could swear you could see the imprint of his smiling face just in front of your eyes. “Hanbin”, you called quietly before closing your eyes, hoping it would disappear but secretly holding the picture with your heart tightly to not let it slip. Why couldn’t you let go? A question that was left unanswered for another night when you fell asleep to the soft sound of his voice, mixed with your quiet sobs that only stopped when you felt yourself falling asleep.
The sky looked sad today. The grey clouds piled up into one big cover to swallow the earth any second. You tried to run but it looked like there was no escape. The tapping of the sky ringed in your ears, before the wet sorrow of the clouds showered your already sad heart with more grief. It was raining, but you couldn’t move. You hated the rain, but you couldn’t move.
“Hey stupid, you’re freezing!”, Hanbin said while putting a jacket over your head and shoulders, leaving himself in his sweater only. “But you’re cold and it’s raining–”, “Ah i’m fine, i love the rain”, he said with a smile while stretching his hand out to catch some of those raindrops. His face lit up as he watched them meet his hands. You shuttered at the sight, his sweater was completely drenched now. “You know, whenever i catch these, i feel like i’m being more loved.”
“Wow you love the rain this much?”, you teased with a laugh. “Just imagine all these raindrops were fractions of feelings from the people who are precious to you. And as more as you catch them, the more those people love you.”
The memory automatically put a sad smile on your face, while you stretched out your hand, hoping for something that you had actually forbid yourself.
If i catch these, will you finally love me?
“You’re completely drenched!”, Eunhae came over immediately and eyed you, “You look– sad too”. Such a nice way to describe how miserable you probably looked at the moment, you thought. “Thanks”, you said before sitting down. You didn’t want to talk, especially not to this one person right now. Even if she wasn’t at fault, she was one of the reasons your heart had been aching for all this time. She was the reason you felt like suffocating when no one seemed to watch. But above all, she just reminded you more and more of him. She did look… gorgeous. No wonder he couldn’t forget her. “Uhm okay, there’s definitely something wrong”, without another word she disappeared behind her desk and came back with a CD.
“Maybe this will light you up? You always take my mixtapes”, Eunhae placed the CD on your lap, not even expecting a no from you. “For Eunhae”, it said in his messy handwriting. You felt something stuck in your throat. It was hurting too much to listen to it– no you couldn’t– not after he had left you just like that. You had always lived in that little bubble of yours, not realizing you were just pretending to be her when you heard his songs. However that wasn’t the case. Hanbin’s songs were never meant for you, his tender words that wrapped around your chest, making it feel so warm, that was never meant for you, it was meant for her and the thought destroyed you slowly.
Your hands brushed over the letters he wrote. Such an ugly handwriting, you laughed in tears. You knew that you had to throw it away. But your hands didn’t let go, no matter how much you tried. “Only this last time”, you said to yourself before running back home, ignoring the shouts from behind.
With shaking hands you put the CD in but paused as soon as it was about to play. Was this really what you wanted? Was this how low you got? Something tucked at your heart-strings as you thought of his voice that could cure a little bit of your sadness if your fingers just danced on the buttons which said play and + for the volume. Without any further thoughts, you let your feelings overtake you and you pressed play.
Silence expanded itself in the room. Confused you checked the volume which was on 100. Your heart had been beating so fast in excitement, now you felt the disappointment even stronger. Maybe it was broken. You took the CD out, when it rang at the doorbell. You sighed, it was probably some of your colleagues to beat the sanity out of you, it wasn’t like you had just left work to listen to some stupid CD that didn’t work. As you went to the door, expecting the worst, what met your eyes was even worse then that. It was Hanbin.
“Hanbin–”, “What i am about to do is unbelievably and unforgivably selfish of me”, you looked at him confused. “What do you m–”, something interrupted you. Your heart twitched as you realized it were his lips that found itself against yours, like a puzzle piece that finally found its missing fragment. His kiss was so sweet, it put a spell on you and you couldn’t help but automatically dance along to the rhythm his mouth was dancing to. You closed your eyes as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your fingers disappeared into his messy hair and the melody of your heart melted into one with his.
Just a dream, you told yourself, enjoying the last seconds before you would wake up. To your disappointment he pulled away as soon as the thought crossed your mind. It was definitely over too soon. “Don’t stop before i wake up”, you suddenly sobbed not even realizing you were crying this whole time. “What– Y/N, i’m really here…”, his hands went over your features and he embraced you so softly as if you were something fragile that would break any second.
“I miss you”, he whispered into your ear, “I’m sorry”, he repeated, only pulling you closer. “I hate you”, you pulled away to hit his chest. “You confuse me”, you turned around, not wanting to look into his eyes. They looked so sincere… it– just couldn’t be. “I was wrong, I was just… scared. I’m such a coward and I know I don’t deserve someone like you. I was so selfish all this time… but i”, his arms found their way around your body to keep a hold of something that belonged to him all along, he had just lost it at some point. He held you tighter now. “I want to be the one to fix your broken heart, since you had fixed mine. Now it’s my turn.”
You knew it was wrong, all this was against the rules of dating. However this was love, love had no rules. Your heart told you it was right, so without another thought you were back to being one again. His kisses lasted till the faint sunlight seeped into your room to sheen on your bare bodies. Maybe it was just the sweat, maybe it was your imagination. But it didn’t really matter. Kim Hanbin was finally yours.
I watch your troubled eyes as you rest,
And I fall in love with every breath.
Wonder if those eyes are really shut,
And am I the one you’re dreaming of?
‘Cause underneath the darkness
There’s a light that’s trying so hard to be seen.
And I know this ‘cause I’ve noticed
A little bit shining through the seams.
And if this is what it takes,
Then let me be the one to bear the pain.
Oh if this is what it takes
I’ll break down these walls that are in our way,
If this is what it takes.