i just thought it was a pretty moment

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

5

“This gift that you gave me for my birthday. You never got to tell me why you gave it to me or what it means… but I think I know. I think that you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women and… extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals. That what can be imagined can be achieved… that you must dare to dream… but that there’s no substitute for perseverance and hard work… and teamwork… because no one gets there alone. And that, while we commemorate the greatness of these events and the individuals who achieve them, we cannot forget the sacrifice of those who make these achievements and leaps possible.”

“I just thought it was a pretty cool key chain.”

Ok like we have Yuri being seen as cute by Otabek but like… what if Yuri found subtle things that Otabek does as sorta cute?

For example Otabek in practice successfully does a jump and does that little baby fist bump. Otabek is so stoic but Yuri can see his happiness and think it’s pure.

Or Otabek gets super excited about something but doesn’t want to show too much of it. Though Yuri can see right through and just sees how endearing it is. He loves that sorta childish excitement from Otabek.

4

stylized fur tutorial. thanks for the question! i’ve been getting quite a few requests regarding how i paint fur, but honestly even i don’t have a set procedure for it yet orz

still i thought i would take a few moments to randomly blob out a clump of fur just to see for myself what techniques i’m using right now. so for brushes, i generally like using the watercolour ones. i have two atm, one set to a larger min. diameter (with high ease of mixing), and another set to a smaller min diameter (with low ease of mixing and high load colour).

  • (1) i use the smaller brush first to sketch in the general fur shapes, they’re pretty big at this stage, we’ll be adding in smaller clumps later
  • (2 - 3) using the larger watercolour brush now, i blob in a few shadows - keeping in mind the light source. i then select a lighter colour and make the brush smaller to make the definition between the light and shade sharper.
  • (4 - 7) now i take out the smaller brush again and refine the edges and points! i also use it to quickly add extra tufts of fur and then i’ll switch back to the larger brush to blend the new tufts in. and i basically keep doing this until i’m satisfied with the level of detail.
  • (8) i adjusted the levels to make the contrast higher. you can do this to make the character blend into whatever environment you’re painting them in.
  • (9) added colour with an overlay layer! although tbh i usually paint in colour to begin with in most of my drawings. but overlay/add layers are still super helpful for creating nice lighting effects and interest! you can add highlights and rim lighting at this stage too~

hope this was helpful!

Loose thoughts by Jayalvarrez

I’m usually pretty closed off to sharing any thoughts or feelings but whatever, fuck it maybe I can make someone feel something, these are just thoughts and feelings of MY opinions that I pulled from my list of notes scribbled down in different moments.. I’ve always said it before I barely show 5% of who I really am on social media.. Thank you to everyone who supports me.. I couldn’t live my life like this without you.

Confidence

Confidence is natural, arrogance is forced.

Never think your to smart that you can’t still be the student, wisest people die still learning and improving.

Focus on your own ideas and directions, don’t let others & your mentors tell you everything and influence everything because even the most helping hand has biased ideas and thoughts

Trust your past self on ideas and thoughts it’s the same person you got you to where you are in this moment

You have to believe yourself and convenice your self to feel powerful about what you say, hearing your own voice has a certain ring to it like no one else’s.

Use yourself for everything you are, you truly are amazing and unqiue be loud about it but be humble & do with love.
You are undefinable, You have no single label or group you belong to.. and your mind isn’t even slightly opened yet.

Being honest with yourself saves you in the long run always.

Never be insecure of your creativity.

Don’t live a life based only around how you look, Spending time on your mind and soul is everything..
Determining your self worth off your looks will leave you empty & with short burst of satisfaction.

Remember where you started from and where you are going, You use to dream of the things you have now.. even though this life style becomes casual never forget what got you to this exact moment.


Girls & Sex

My brain is built more like a female than a males, It’s giving me an emotional reach to deeply understand and open up to any feelings or thoughts of any human being. Being soft & loving is being strong.

If she doesn’t want it as much as or more then me I have no interest, sex is mental and eye contact can give you more then anything, giving love is more then expecting all the other persons attention and actions , unless it’s feeding the soul, passionate with a twisted mind it’s a waste of time.. treat every touch on her body like it’s art. 15 second feelings are nice but a feeling in your mind for hours after is even better.


Gorgeous girls and body’s are easy, gorgeous minds and souls are hard. A girl with a beautiful body doesn’t always make for a beautiful girl.

Remember there’s always far better things ahead then anything left behind.

Being sweet & loving to girls will never not be cool, but regardless of gender actions get reactions.

Energy is EVERYTHING.

Never worry about a good looking guy stealing your girl you better worry about that guy who emotionally gets your girl more & makes your girl laugh more 😉.

Getting under a girls skin with just my eyes and words as a connection makes it taste so much better (literally) than relying on physical looks or surface substance to entertain my mind.

I think few people are really built for relationships, I think technology will save us all.

It doesn’t matter how it looks and feels to anyone else it’s how it looks and feels to us.

Don’t let chasing pussy control your life or distract your big plan.

Being physically beautiful is nice but let it be nothing more then the gates to the soul.


Human Relations

i’ve got more personalities then the people i’ve met all together in my entire life combined, I don’t expect people to understand me, more likely expect them to judge me then to ever care to think past clueless first thoughts.

Take everyone with a grain of salt and a open mind, people don’t come with directions.

Peoples opinion of you is their truth, it’s not necessarily your truth or could be even close with to right at all.

The way you talk about the people you hate is a transparency of your own self esteem.

Don’t worry about trusting people, just don’t trust their emotions. Most people can’t understand them self how could they truly trust and understand you, & that’s fine.

Study psychology and history it will give you understanding and every answer you need, the world evolves but human emotions never will, people really aren’t that complex at base.

Don’t fight back into negativity and childishness insecurity, it only makes things worst.

If you want to hurt someone do it mentally, actions are short lived.

If you constantly blame other people for your problems take a look in your own soul.

make peace with your past so it doesn’t ruin your future

Standing up for someone who can’t stand up for them self is the coolest thing you can ever do.

To truly love someone is accepting someone for every thing they come as.

World & thoughts


Language is a forum of communication not always a measure of intelligence, At times I’ve had deeper conversations with just my eyes and touch then I have with words. You could be the most understanding person on the verbal side, but without a emotional understanding you may never be able to communicate with some people.

You don’t need to be any skin tone or ethnicity to practice and enjoy any cultural feelings, every human on this planet bleeds the same blood chances are you ain’t that special.

your not meant to be accepted or fit in, if you were you’d probably not of left that old life.

You can’t blame any one person or culture for anything, this planet is more diverse then you could ever process, Don’t get mad at a person for believing or acting a certain way even if it seems wrong or foolish in your eyes.

Being a good person won’t always benefit you, but there’s some emotional satisfaction in helping others.

You can’t fight science wether you like it or not, it holds the answers to all your fears and to all your questions, It’s a depressing beautiful thing.

Just because the Mass of people believe something is right or wrong doesn’t mean it’s either right or wrong, Most people go off emotions not logic, 1st world go figure.

I feel most alive in moments I don’t feel human. It’s all I really care to live for at times, these split seconds that my mind gives me these chemicals is all I crave at times.

ART HAS NO MASTER OR CRITIC JUST DIFFERENT OPINIONS.


I stand by no perfection and i’m a complete psychopath, I’ve been told i’m crazy outta my mind but attest it keeps me from going insane.. Anything said above can change in the moment & a mind with rules & barriers is limited, a wise & witty mind is what I work towards 😉 I'f any words can make you feel or relate it was worth me sharing! If I annoy and get under your skin for being..well just who I am.. I hope it hurts 👁

Love - @jayalvarrez

@jayalvarrez

“Prom was invented just to make girls starve so they can fit in a dress and compete over a stupid title.”

“Uh –” Derek blinks, eyes his sister dubiously, “I’m not a girl?”

Cora huffs. “Whatever.”

In the kitchen Laura bursts out laughing. “Don’t worry.” She yells. “Cora is just jealous she will have to wait five years to go to her own prom.”

“I’m not going!” Cora yells back. “Prom is stupid, I don’t even know why you’re going,” she tells Derek, “it’s not like you know how to have fun.”

Derek raises an eyebrow while Laura just laughs harder. “Oh my god.” Their older sister says. “I stay away for six months and Cora turns into a sassy queen.” She walks into the living room, pretends to wipe at her eyes. “I’m so proud.”

“You two are ridiculous.” Derek says, turning around. “And I’m just going because Erica promised to pay me. With ice cream.” Then he gives Cora a wicked smile. “That I’m not going to share with either of you.”

“You are the worst brother!” Cora yells as he begins to climb the stairs. “And I hope you fall on your ass while trying to dance!”

“Can’t hear you!” Derek’s cell begins to ring. “Too busy getting ready to prom!”

Laura lets out a high-pitched laughter. “I love you two so much.”

Derek shakes his head fondly, closes his bedroom door behind himself just as Cora tells Laura to shut up. “Hey.” He answers the phone, collapsing on his bed. “What’s up?”

“Yo,” Stiles answers, “whatcha doing?”

“Listening to my sisters fight.” He says, snorting when he hears his dad start complaining about all the yelling and ‘no, Cora, I’m not letting you go to prom, you’re thirteen!’. “I’m gonna have to check the trunk of my car tomorrow night.”

Stiles laughs. “She’s not that good.”

“If you keep teaching her, she will be.” Derek blurts out, curses himself mentally when he realizes it came out harsher than he intended.

It’s just – sometimes he can’t help it. He’s known Stiles since they were four, Cora wasn’t even born then, but one day she turned eleven and Stiles became her new favorite person. Stiles couldn’t find it funnier and took Cora as his little apprentice. He even taught her how to cheat on Mario Kart.

He’s never taught Derek that.

Derek rolls his eyes, thinks about his little sister still downstairs pouting and trying to convince their dad that she’s old enough to go out. He shouldn’t be jealous of her, but the thing is – he grew up with two sisters, he knows how to share toys and food, but he doesn’t know how to share Stiles.

Because Stiles is his.

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I AM SO OVERWHELMED BY THE FEELINGS IN MY HEART RIGHT NOW. MY TINY HEART IS TOO TINY FOR THIS NONSENSE LIKE WHAT IN THE FUCK

EMMA IS MAKING FUCKING PANCAKES

IN A ROBE AND WE ALL FUCKING KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE WHILE KILLIAN WALKS UP BEHIND HER IN AN UNBUTTONED VEST WHICH LBR IS BASICALLY HIM BEING NAKED LIKE THE NUMBER OF LAYERS ON THIS MAN AT ALL TIMES IS ABSURD BUT LIKE

THIS IS TOO MUCH. I CANNOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT IT.

THIS IS LIKE THE FUCKING SUN. I AM BLINDED BY THE JOY AND THE HAPPINESS AND THE CONTENTMENT AND THE WAY HE’S GRINNING INTO HER SKIN AND THE WAY SHE BITES HER LIP. THIS IS AHHHHHHHHH MAKE IT STOP

AND SHE LIKE FUCKING POUNCES ON HIM AND HER HANDS DON’T FUCKING STOP MOVING AND HER LIPS ARE SO INSISTENT AND 

SHE KEEPS FUCKING PULLING HIM CLOSER AND CLOSER AND WHAT T H E F U C KKKKK I CANNOT HANDLE THIS EVEN A LITTLE

ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW WILD HER HAIR IS? SHE CLEARLY JUST WOKE UP AND CAME DOWN TO MAKE THEM BOTH PANCAKES BECAUSE THEY MUST BE STARVING AND HE GOT DRESSED HALF WAY AND CAME DOWN TO FIND HER WHEN HE SMELLED ALL THE NICE THINGS AND THEN HE SEES HER WITH HER HAIR ALL WILD AND HER FACE ALL FRESH AND GLOWY AND HAPPY AND WHO CAN BLAME HIM FOR WANTING TO KISS HER OK?

OK BUT WHAT KILLS ME THE DEADEST IS THAT SHE PULLS AWAY JUST SO SHE CAN LOOK AT HIM. CLEARLY SHE WANTS TO KEEP KISSING HIM BUT IN THAT MOMENT, SHE NEEDS SO SEE HIS FACE, TO SEE AGAIN HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER AND WHAT SHE HAS NOW AND I CANNOT LOOK AT HIS SMILE THIS IS TOO MUCH *SHIELDS EYES*

GUYS, GUYS, GUYS. I THINK SHE LOVES HIM.

AND I THINK HE LOVES HER.

SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY AND SHE LOOKS SO YOUNG HERE AND SO HAPPY AND IN LOVE AND SHE LOVES HIM SO MUCH OMG

HE CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER BECAUSE WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT RIGHT? 

AND THEN SHE’S LIKE FUCK WAIT MUST GET BACK TO THE KISSING. HE’S SO GOOD AT THE KISSING. MUST TOUCH SOFT LIPS AGAIN.

AND UGH IT STARTS SO SOFT BUT PICKS UP SO FUCKING QUICK LIKE WTF AND HE JUST RESPONDS WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT LIKE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND WANT EACH OTHER SO MUCH, IT MAKES MY HEART MELT ALSO SEEING THAT RING ON HER FINGER IS HURTING MY EYES AGAIN.

THE HANDS, THE HANDSSSSSS

WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE POOR FANGIRLS?! WHY WOULD YOU KISS THIS WAY?! WITH THE FRANTIC PULLING EACH OTHER CLOSER AND THE HANDS THAT WON’T STOP TOUCHING. WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME THIS WAY YOU ASSHOLES?!

I CAN’T TAKE IT BECAUSE THEY’RE SMILING THE ASSHOLES DO THEY NOT KNOW WHAT THIS IS DOING TO MY SMALL TINY HEART?!

TO HELL WITH THE PANCAKES. YASSS EMMA, YASSSSS.

AND SHE FUCKING PUSHES HIM INTO THE TABLE AND SHE’S PROBABLY BETWEEN HIS LEGS RIGHT NOW AND HIS HAND IS RUNNING UP AND DOWN HER BACK AND HIS HOOK IS HOLDING HER STEAD BECAUSE SHE CANNOT STOP MOVING HER HANDS

AND LIKE FUCKING SOMEONE HAS TO KEEP THEM FROM FALLING ONTO THE TABLE BUT BY THE LOOKS OF IT, EMMA TOTALLY WANTS KILLIAN TO FALL ONTO HIS BACK RIGHT THERE OK?! LIKE NOPE LET’S JUST DO THE DO RIGHT HERE. SMOOSHING BOOTIES ON THE DINING TABLE.

AND LOL THE SHOCK! THEY’RE SO DAZED THIS IS HILARIOUS

AND KILLIAN SAYING LIKE OH YOUR MOTHER HAS A KEY. THAT’S GOOD INFORMATION. YES OK. TRY TO CALM DOWN NOW.

THE SHOCK AND THE WIDE EYES LOLOLOL

BUT OK I FUCKING LOVE HOW EMMA JUST LOOKS AMUSED PRETTY MUCH THROUGH THIS WHOLE EXCHANGE BECAUSE THOUGH SHE REALLY, REALLY WANTS TO DO THE DO WITH HER FIANCE IN THEIR HOUSE (WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID WE GET HERE FROM CLIMBING A BEANSTALK TOGETHER ONE TIME FUCK FUCK FUCKKKK) 

SHE NEVER THOUGHT SHE’S HAVE THIS EITHER? HER MOTHER ACCIDENTALLY WALKING IN ON THEM AND LIKE IT’S LIKE EMBARRASSING OR WHATEVER BUT SHE’S JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY TO HAVE ALL THIS IN HER LIFE NOW? THESE MOMENTS OF PEACE AND LOVE AND SILLINESS

AND LOL SHE’S LIKE NOOOO AND KILLIAN IS LIKE HAHAHA YES WE WERE ABOUT TO BANG YOUR MAJESTY. I HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM RN LOL ALSO I LOVE THAT THOUGH SNOW IS RIGHT THERE, EMMA STRAIGHT UP DOEAN’T MOVE FOR FUCKING AGES AND JUST KEEPS RUNNING HER HANDS OVER KILLIAN’S SHOULDERS, SOOTHING HIM  AND TOUCHING HIM STILL AND KILLIAN’S HAND DOESN’T MOVE FROM HER WAIST EITHER

LIKE DESPITE THE DISCOMFORT, IT’S ALSO SUCH A COMFORTABLE MOMENT?! IT’S SO DOMESTIC AND ORDINARY AND EMMA IS STILL STROKING KILLIAN’S ARM HERE AND I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN *CRIES TEARS OF BLOOD* AND THEY ONLY FUCKING STAND WHEN SNOW IS LIKE UMM PANCAKES LOLOL

AND THIS ASSHOLE LOLOLOL HE IS SO UNAMUSED. I’VE LOST MY APPETITE. BRACING FUCKING SHOWER HE SAYS  LOLOLOL

THIS CHEEK KISS, THE PANCAKES, THE KILLIAN’S HAND ON HER WAIST AGAIN. THE DOMESTICITY OF IT ALL

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS. DO YOU SEE IT? DO YOU SEE THE JOY IN HER EYES?! SHE’S SO HAPPY GODDAMNIT

*THROWS ALL THE THINGS*

THIS IS TOO MUCH. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS. FUCKING FUCK FUCKKK

3

Tom Felton: Yeah, a lot of people have commented on the Voldemort/Draco moment. It was special… It was special. He has a firm grip. It was pretty terrifying. It wasn’t in the script and we did that take about 25 times, he only hugged me once. It was a one-off thing that he just threw at me. I’m standing there going, “What the hell is he doing? Why is he hugging me in this weird fashion!” It’s pretty terrifying stuff - He held it for about ten seconds and I thought, “Is this going to end?” I was baffled and even more baffling was that that was the take they used!

So I’m a big fan of Spooky Altean thoughts and here’s a thing that just occurred to me:

The mermaid planet basically confirms in VLD’s verse that creatures from human mythology actually exist and are out there, just, they’re aliens.

So let’s look at Alteans a moment.

They’re very similar to humans, physically- albeit they average smaller than us. They’re very long-lived, have pointed ears, and the ones we’ve seen are all very pretty- like basically all it took was Coran with a ponytail and half the fandom was charmed by him.

They also have significant magical power and are described as a highly diplomatic species.

Proposed theory: Alteans are the Fair Folk. They chilled out significantly in the process of becoming a spacefaring empire but truth, bargain, and agreements are still very important to them.

The plot in the comic with Coran’s fake hostage situation involved a deal with very steep interest rates- which is classic fae lore. Usually it’s the normal person indebted to the fair folk but there’s also stories of people outfoxing or capturing a fairy and getting massive riches out of it.

Consider how all Alteans, seemingly, can make themselves look almost like any other species they want to- but always come across just a little bit off.

Consider how Haggar is received by the empire. There’s this interesting thing about who uses Haggar’s name, and who doesn’t. With the exception of Zarkon and the Druids, most of the empire refers to Haggar obliquely as “the witch.” And it’s very likely “Haggar” is not her original name at all. When she’s trying to flush out the spy in high command, it gives some context to why the main empire is so scared of her, and her druids. 

With Haggar in particular I think about how there’s lore around the fair folk that depicts them as kidnappers- and people returned do not always return the same way they left, or, entirely… right. And how in-universe Shiro’s prosthetic is evidence that he attracted the “attention” of Haggar. Sendak also shows us some people do it on purpose but desperate or avaricious people barter with the fair folk all the time in fairy tales.

I don’t think the Alteans were secretly evil or anything like that- but a race whose main M.O. is diplomacy had to have some way of dealing with people who were not really interested in negotiating, or who were more interested in negotiating with the Alteans at swordpoint. Having a suitably intimidating reputation, or just a very special gift with words and arrangements would make perfect sense of that.

It is unwise to cross an Altean in a deal.

Good Girls Don’t

There are a lot of things good girls don’t. They don’t laugh too loud, they don’t dress too short, they don’t swear and they don’t put themselves out there. They wait, and they do it while sitting properly in their pristine white dresses, with their hands crossed over their laps and their back sitting up straight.

There’s a lot of things good girls don’t and getting their panties wet every time they see a guy is definitely one of them.

You rubbed your thighs together as your fingers pressed tightly to the table you were sitting on, trying to hold on to a reality that was slipping away as you looked at him. You imagined the taste of his skin, and how it must have felt against yours when he was lying on top of you, and you thought about the fire of his kiss, and how it probably tasted like peppermint and just a tiny hint of sin. You thought about heaven and having him lie next to you at night.

The fire that had settled in your lower tummy was going to consume you all at any moment, and you shifted in your seat, trying to release some of the pressure that had built between your legs. You were definitely wet.

But as much as you tried, you couldn’t stop thinking about him, imagining yourself on your knees while your eyes obediently locked in with his. You imagined your lips wrapping around the two fingers he was offering to you, and the light bob you would do to take them all the way in, while your tongue pressed to them to suck them lightly, looking at him as his eyes, usually green and sweet, turned dark, the burning lust covering them as he gazed down at you. You even imagined the light gag of your throat as he pushed his fingers all the way in, and the moan that bubbled up from your very core when he slid them out, the strings of spit that fell down making you blush as you looked down.

“Look at me, yeah?” He would say, with his voice a little raspier than usual as he kneeled in front of you. “C’mon, kitten, look at me.” He would repeat his command slowly, a smirk curling up the corner of his lips as your eyes fluttered open to obey him. “Look at me while I fuck ya with my fingers, yeah? Use all that spit you left. Were you imagining my cock?” He would ask, his smirk growing bigger as you nodded, still unable to speak your own words, as your heart was knotting on your throat and beating rapidly at the sight of him. “You’re such a fucking good girl.”

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Wanna Bet? (M)

Rich Fuckboy!Jimin x Tutor!reader

PART II  |  PART III

Word Count: 2,782

Summary: Working as a private tutor at the most prestigious university in the region, you had to put up with a lot of bratty kids. Though none were as bad as Park Jimin. Just as your luck would have it, you’ve been assigned to be his full-time tutor for the year….great. After many failed attempts to get his grades up, Jimin comes up with a bet to raise his marks. What’s the worst that can happen, right?

A/N - This is my fic, just re-posting on my sideblog!


You were grateful for this job, you really were. Some days, it was just really hard to be grateful. You worked at the wealthiest, all boys university this side of the country. You’re a private tutor, working with a maximum of five students a year. Things have been going well for you, you’re known as the best tutor at the school, so parents are flocking to you to help their precious spoiled brats. Hey, at least the money is decent.

Your whole week, scratch that, year has gone downhill the moment you get a call from the Dean.

“Y/n? Yes, hello. We’re going to need you to take on a student full time at the start of the new school year. I know this is a lot, so the pay will be increased, and you won’t have to take any other students. You will be tutoring five days a week for this student. Can you do it?”

“Um, yes, I don’t see why not…” growing a little curious as to why the dean himself is contacting you, you ask, “who is the student, Sir?”

“Park Jimin.” Shit.

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yondadudonta  asked:

TALK STARKQUILL TO ME I NEED

Their meeting was a little less meet-cute and a little more,,, meet-ugly sort of thing.


Mainly because they both read the situation very badly and ended up trying to kill one another. Completely accidentally, but.

Still.

And really, can you blame Tony? Their ship does crash-land in the middle of a crowded highway, and barely manages to avoid civilians. Then they pop out, and they’re armed to the teeth, looking pretty threatening and…well… alien.

People end up calling (what’s left of) the Avengers- which happens, at the time, to be Tony and Tony alone.

Except the Guardians crashed in Florida; when Tony got the call he was in New Orleans at a science convention, and the suit was still in New York.

But he went anyway. Suit or no suit, he had to try. He was the only line of defence now, after… everything.

So, armed with a sophisticated watch-gauntlet and a gun he always kept tucked in his jacket pocket, he takes the jet and leaves to try and stop them from potentially, y’know, annihilating the world or whatever.


Except things don’t really happen like that, in the end.


“Listen, what are the chances you’re gonna do as I say when I order you to drop your weapons and leave?” tony asks wearily, as he holds the gun at the biggest guy’s weirdly patterned face and the gauntlet at the woman holding the largest gun he’s ever seen in his life. He doesn’t even bat an eyelid toward the talking walking raccoon or… the tree…thing.

Just another day in the life, at this point.

Although it would be kinda embarrassing if he ends up getting murdered by the raccoon. What the damn hell would they put on his grave? Here lies Tony Stark- saved New York, but unable to protect himself from the dangers of the Mighty Raccoon?

As soon as he’d spoken, about 13 different weapons were pointed in his face. Which hardly made sense, considering there were five of them and they all only had two hands. But whatever.

“How’s about we ask you the same? Except more forcefully, considering we got all the guns,” the raccoon said.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Where the fuck would I go then, what with me being a human being who lives here? Just fling myself into the void of space? And yes, tempting as that might sound, I’ve been there done that. Not as appealing as I would have thought, to be honest.” 

The five stared at him in confusion for a moment, before what looked to be the only actual human stepped forward, head cocked. His eyes were bright and beard scruffy- Tony thought it suited him.

Tony also thought he should probably focus on the task at hand, and his ever-growing chances of imminent death, rather than how pretty his opponent was.

“You’re just a human, huh?” Hot Scruffy Man asked.

Tony raised an eyebrow, and then pointed the gun at him when he took another step. “What gave it away? The fact that I have the same composition and structure as every other human on the planet? The fact I look just like you, who is also a human?”

“Half human,”

“What was the other half, pure asshole?”

“Actually… kinda, yeah.” The Hot Scruffy Man paused, and then shrugged. “Daddy issues.”

Tony had a brief moment to wonder what the fuck he was doing before an involuntary snort of laughter had escaped out of him. “Yeah- rode that train before, buddy- still doesn’t explain why you’re on the planet I protect, waving your guns around at innocent people and causing millions of dollars worth in property damage.”

The team in front of him paused, and then the man looked back at the green lady, who just shrugged and put down her gun. “We were told there was an imminent threat to your planet. We were in the neighbourhood, so we thought we’d come save you.”

Tony stared at them, contemplating. “Where are your sources from?”

“The fine NovaCorps,” Massive Bulked Alien Dude spoke up.

Tony squinted, running a hand across his forehead. “Am I… supposed to know what that means?”

“Fancy space police,” Raccoon told him.

“You seen any apocalyptic aliens round here lately?” Hot scruffy Man asked him again, slightly confused now. 

Tony just sighed. “Nope. And if there were, I would handle them. You can go back…wherever you came from, guys, it’s fine, Earth is fine-“

“You? You’re gonna protect the Earth? With your fancy little handgun and hand-firey thing?” The Raccoon laughed, and Tony scowled.

Luckily, because he had been counting the seconds in his head since he’d called it, he knew he was about to do something really badass, and it wiped the scowl off his face, replacing it with a little smile as he stared at the stupid talking Raccoon. 

“No,” he said, shrugging as he heard the familiar whirring sound of metal moving at hundreds of miles an hour up ahead of him.

The aliens looked up, one of them pointing their gun at the source of noise, like it would do anything. But in the space of a few seconds, it had already reached its intended target, slowing down just enough to not vaporise his body and wrapping around him, every piece fitting in a way that made Tony want to give himself a round of applause.


“I’m gonna protect Earth with this,” he said, raising his two repulsors and loading them right in the Raccoon’s little face.


There was complete silence for a second, before Hot Scruffy Man made a noise that should really, for the sake of Tony’s sanity, be kept in the bedroom. “That was literally the coolest and most attractive thing I have ever seen ever. In my life.”

Tony couldn’t help himself; he smirked and cocked his head Hot scruffy Man. “Sweetie, I appreciate the sentiment, but you’re gonna have to keep it in your pants until we can sort this out.”

Green Lady sighed, and walked forward to smack Hot Scruffy Man around the back of the head. “You know what we talked about, Peter- no flirting with potential targets. It’s in bad form.”

“This guy certainly hasn’t got a bad form,” Hot Scruffy Man- Peter- nodded over to Tony and smirked.

Green Lady sighed, and then turned to Tony. “Listen. You want to protect your planet. We want to protect your planet. How about rather than pointing our weapons at one another, we try and… you know, do what we set out to do?”

Instantly, the smile slide off Tony’s face, not that any of them could tell behind the faceplate. “I work alone. Sorry. You’re gonna have to l-“


And that was when the world sort of exploded around them.


Without even thinking about it, Tony shot forward and wrapped his arms around the two closest to him- the Green Lady and Peter- rolling them to the ground and hoping that the rest of his team, especially the more flammable ones, were okay. Green Lady yelled at the sudden-ness of his approach, but Peter just sighed. “Here we go,” he muttered into Tony’s shoulder.

Tony was inclined to agree, there.




Half-way through the battle, Peter AKA Starlord AKA Galaxy’s Number One Asshole asked him out.

Tony looked at him for a good four seconds before he got tackled to the ground by… (Dracula? Dracker? He was having to learn the names on the go, and his mind was currently on other, more explosion-based things) the Massive Bulked Alien Dude.

“THAT IS VERY UNPROFFESSIONAL, PETER!” He yelled, before looking down at Tony. “Are you well? I thought you may have been hit with a paralytic beam of some sort.”

Tony nodded, and then sat up. “No paralytic. Just your team-mate.”

Massive Bulked Alien Dude nodded wisely. “He does tend to have that affect on people.”

“What? Endangering their goddamn lives on the field?”

Massive Bulked Alien Dude paused, and then shrugged as he rolled off Tony. “I was going to say rendering people speechless with his idiocy, but that too.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, I’m actually clever, Tony, I promise! Boyfriend material, right here!” Peter yelled across the battlefield, looking over to them and grinning as he shot an alien in the back of the head without even looking.

“You’re a god damn alien!” tony yelled back exasperatedly, trying to keep the smile off his face as he jumped high into the air and then landed on an unfortunate opponent.

“Yeah- think of all the new tricks I must know, then,” Peter countered, winking as he dived behind a car and then threw what must have been a fancy bomb over the bonnet.

Tony’s mind briefly short-circuited at that (Holy mother of God) astute observation- but he quickly regrouped and fired a repulsor at an alien attempting to sneak up behind Rocket. “I’m gonna need a few examples before I agree to anything, sweetie,” he replied.

Peter laughed and opened his mouth, but then the Tree hit him over the head. “Ow!” he complained, looking betrayed.

“I have enough issues dealing with one distracted team-member whilst in the middle of a battle, I will not be dealing with two! Cut the flirting out!” Gamora yelled, as Tony watched her utterly destroy two different aliens at once.

“She thinks we should be ‘professionals’ and ‘focus on the mission’ when we’re in battle,” Peter said grumpily, wiping a cut across his face and then shrugging. “I respectfully disagree.”

Tony had to cut the conversation short again in order to swoop up and laser his way into the main hull of the ship that loomed barely even twenty meters over the battlefield, but he still had the team in the comm that FRIDAY had patched him into. “So what about Monday? You sticking around until then?” He asked.

Rocket swore at them down the line, but Peter just laughed. “For you, baby, of course I am.”

“Good. I’ve got a meeting with… let’s call him an ex. Be nice to have an excuse to blow him off.”

Peter whistled, “Oooh, want me to sweep you off your feet and declare battle with him for hurting you? I’m always up for it.”

“Much as I would like to see that, he’s kind of peak physical perfection. Plus I’d rather just make out with you,” Tony admitted.

“That’s fair. I want to make out with me too.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yep- welcome to the Guardians- we’re all assholes here. You’ll fit right in,” Peter told him.

“I am GROOT!” Came a rumbling voice that Tony could hear even off the comms, and he looked down in time to watch the tree grab Peter around the wait and haul him, flinging him up in to the sky with a yell.

It was a perfect throw, to be fair to Groot. Peter’s momentum cut out just as he was level with Tony, who grabbed his shoulders and lifted his faceplate, just for a second, in time for Peter to plant one on his mouth with a grin and a raised eyebrow, before he began falling again, right into Groot’s waiting arms.


Through the comm, Gamora just sighed. “Idiots. All of you.”

Car Troubles

Mechanic!Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,120

Warnings: nothing….just yucky fluff lol

A/N: This is for @dancingalone21‘s AU Funny Quote Challenge!! My funny quote was “Are you having a stroke? Do you smell toast?”
Hope you guys (especially Lau!!) enjoy it, thanks to @mamapeterson for the beta and feedback is greatly appreciated!!!

Keep reading

One Day

Summary: pastel!dan is a kindergarten teacher and is married to punk!youtuber!phil, who he hates and doesn’t get along with at all. They’re parents forced them to marry each other. Dan is unhappy but things finally take a turn.

Genre: AU, Fluff

Word Count: 2,792

A/N: I changed the prompt slightly because I can’t enough of pastel!dan.

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anonymous asked:

Polydins

Honestly, i love it. Whether it be platonic or romantic, polydins are adorable, man.

(I’ll give some headcanons bc why not)

  • Lance, Hunk, and Pidge were probably the first three to get together
    • Lance and Hunk started dating first before they ended up dragging their Pidgey (Lance’s nickname for her) into the relationship
    • The other two would walk in on Lance nuzzled into Hunk’s side, arms wrapped around Pidge’s waist as she sat in his lap
    • They were usually either talking about life before the garrison, laughing about dumb stories Lance and Hunk would tell Pidge about things that had happened in their dorm, or just sitting in silence
    • Lance would just be cuddling his partners as Pidge and Hunk go over something, putting in his thoughts every now and then
  • Shiro and Keith ended up getting together not long after
    • Lance constantly sang that dumb ‘sitting in a tree’ song when they came out to everyone, much to their dismay
  • Lance was the first to realize he had feelings for the Red and Black Paladins
    • he talked to Pidge and Hunk about it and they’d just smile at each other when he’d say something about their pretty eyes or amazing fighting skills
  • He thought it was one sided for the longest time when one day, he ran into Keith in the hallways
  • They had just stared at each other for a long moment before Keith stated in a stern tone despite the flush spread across his face ‘Shiro and I need to talk to you’ before bolting to his boyfriend’s room
    • Confused baby Lance
    • “Lance, we talked to Pidge and Hunk and-” “Oh no, they told you, time to go die” “Lance, please”
    • it turns out they had actually gone to his boyfriend and girlfriend to talk to them about Keith’s feelings for the Blue Paladin
  • Lance now has two boyfriends and a girlfriend
  • Shiro and Hunk were actually the next two to start dating
  • Then Pidge and Keith
  • Then Hunk and Keith
  • Then Lance and Shiro
  • Then Shiro and Pidge
  • In the end, all five were in this big relationship that was full of so much love
    • Allura said they were “sickeningly sweet”
    • Lance stood and kissed every single one of his partners while no looking away from her
    • The princess has fled
  • Lance and Pidge are the ones who find a bedroom that is way bigger than any of their’s and with a lot of convincing, Allura lets them claim it as their own
    • The babs all sleep in there together now
  • Hunk and Lance like to bake/cook (Lance bakes, Hunk cooks bc he learned his baby is an amazing baker) for the others
    • Lance won’t let them touch the sweets until they eat their real food first
    • Pidge once distracted him with a kiss and stole a cookie
    • Lance chased her down the hallway
  • Lance will carry Pidge and Keith around on his back if one of them is too tired to bother with walking
    • if they’re both tired, Lance convinces Hunk or Shiro to carrying the one he can’t
    • he can almost always be seen carrying Pidge around in a piggyback ride
    • she loves it
  • Shiro and Lance plotted this big date night and with the help of Hunk, they surprised Pidge and Keith with it
    • they got a lot of kisses as thanks
  • Just five babes all happy and in love with each other
  • Give me more of this
English Is Hard, Okay?! Langst Prompt Fill

For the anon who wanted a story where Lance had a hard time speaking English and the paladins teasing him for it.


Lance walked into the kitchen one morning with dark circles under his eyes. He trudged over to get a bowl and began filling it with food goo.

“You look like shit, Lance” Keith teased, trying to egg Lance into one of their normal fights. The other paladins ignored the banter, used to the Red and Blue paladins fighting.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t feel like fighting today, Keith, sorry,” Lance said, trying to get his food goo and leave as quickly as possible.

Keith frowned. Lance wasn’t playing along.
Usually this kind of stuff cheered the Blue paladin right up!

“Wake up on the wrong side of the bed? I was just teasing, you just look a little tired,” Keith said, trying, again, to lighten the mood.

“No, you know what Keith? I didn’t wake up on the wrong side of the bed I woke up in the wrong fucking bed after a dream where I had to watch my family die!

And I can’t even know if they’re actually alive because I’m not even in the same fucking galaxy as them and I didn’t want to fight and I thought I made that clear when I literally told you I didn’t want to but obviously I was wrong.

Hopefully I made it clear this time so I can go eat in my room and nobody will bother me,” Lance said calmly. The lack of emotion in his voice was unnerving. He took his bowl, grabbed a spoon, and left the room.

The other paladins glanced at each other with wide eyes as they watched the usually energetic and fun paladin walk off to his room.

Keith ate the rest of his meal with his head down, and nobody dared to break the tense silence.

After breakfast everyone broke off to work on their own projects or do whatever they needed until group training.

A few hours later, everyone was waiting in the training room for Lance. He walked in about ten minutes late, dressed in workout clothes the castle provided. He stared silently at the ground as Allura began to lecture him on his tardiness.

Training began with a few warm up laps around the room.

Lance visibly pulled himself together and worked a smile onto his face.

He nudged Pidge as he passed her, and high fives Shiro as he passed him.

Lance always enjoyed this portion of training since he was undeniably the fastest paladin (without their lions anyway).

When they slowed to a stop after five laps, Allura directed everyone to different parts of the room to work on things each were bad at.

Lance was shown the middle of the room, to fight close range with the gladiator. Hunk gave Lance a sympathetic glance.

Lance fought the gladiator for almost two hours. The other paladins had been allowed a break when they managed to finish whatever task they were given, but Lance had been at a stalemate with the damn gladiator.

The blue paladin began to slow down due to exhaustion, and the gladiator got in one well placed hit before it shut down.

Lance plopped himself down on a bench with the rest of the paladins as Allura and Coran talked.

Shiro leaned forward to look at Lance, whose eyes were closed as he leaned against the wall.

“Hey, you did good, buddy,” Shiro said, knowing that Lance had worked harder than any of them had that day.

Lance opened his eyes at the praise. He was sure he was going to get scolded for losing, and a smile worked it’s way onto his face.

“Thanks, Shiro. You did really well too. Hunk, you were really awesome with that thing you were running on.”

Pidge barked out a short burst of laughter.

“What was Hunk running on, again, Lance?” Pidge asked, barely concealed laughter coloring her voice.

“Um the thing where the ground moves so you can run in place?” Lance explained, frowning.

“Oh my god, Lance doesn’t know what a treadmill is!” Pidge shouted, cackling.

Her laughter prompted everyone but Lance to laugh along with her. Everyone had needed a laugh after a tense morning and a hard workout.

The laughter died down and Hunk looked over to see that Lance had tears in his eyes and his muscles were tensed.

“Hey, Lance, buddy, you alright?” Hunk asked, drawing the team’s attention.

Lance shook his head.

“I know it’s stupid and you guys think I’m stupid but it’s really fucking hard sometimes. I never learned the damn word.

Just like I don’t know what half the stuff Hunk and Pidge are talking about because I learned science and engineering and math in Cuba. In SPANISH.

I have to translate everything I’m thinking into a different fucking language because I grew up with no English at all!

And when I got to the Garrison I had to deal with people’s bullshit on my accent and how I couldn’t speak English correctly and I thought you guys didn’t care about stuff like that but maybe I just hadn’t messed up yet!

I’m sorry I suck at English and I forgot what a fucking treadmill is, but I promise you, I didn’t forget because I’m stupid. I remembered what to say in Spanish.

I’m sorry if my explanation wasn’t good enough, but I’m pretty sure you guys wouldn’t have understood it if I told you Hunk was running on a cinta de correr!!!” Lance yelled, taking a few deep breaths as he finished ranting.

Lance stood there, fuming for a few moments, tears openly streaming down his face. Everyone stared in shock, unsure what to make of Lance’s outburst.

The blue paladin waited for someone to say something, and when no-one did he bolted from the room, eyes wide and terrified.

Hunk ran after him after a moment. He knew exactly where his best friend would be.


Thanks for this prompt! Hope you like it! I’m thinking of posting a part two?

As a long time fan of Archie comics, lets talk about Barchie.

I have told y’all before that I have been a long time reader of Archie comics since I was a little girl. I have had a lot of fans of the show writing to ask about the love triangle dynamic/Barchie relationship in the comics. I have also noticed a number of fans who have not read the comics thinking that the triangle has to happen or that Barchie is a given.

Long ass meta post for those who are curious.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

RFA + V and Saeran react to overhearing MC's family scold her because they despise who she's dating? Maybe they think they aren't successful and responsible enough or not loyal or trustworthy or feel like MC deserves far better than what she's getting our of them? Specifically I'd like to see Saeyoung's reaction given his insecurities.

And we’re back! Did you guys miss some scenarios?

Hope you like this! ^^

RFA + Saeran and V finding MC’s family disapproval

Zen

  • “Sweetie, I just think he’s playing with you.”
  • He heard that coming from your father when you two were washing the dishes in the kitchen, Zen noticed you two forgot a plate and was bringing it to the kitchen.
  •  “And what makes you think that, dad?” “Well, he’s handsome, I bet he has tons of women running after him. Maybe famous women? What makes you think he won’t dump you for some famous actress? He’s a public figure, honey, his image is everything. Plus… he sounds shallow like that.”
  • Shallow? Zen could deal with being called narcissist, workaholic, but… shallow? He was sounding shallow to your father?
  • He wanted to walk into the kitchen, maybe subtly, maybe not. He wish he had some really witty and smart statement to give so your father would realize he wasn’t just image
  • And he was about to step into the kitchen when he finally heard your voice: “If he sounds shallow, maybe you didn’t pay attention enough to what he was saying, dad. Have you listened to his story? His problems with his family? The way he struggled when he started his career as an actor? Have you heard when he told you how much he loves me and how guilty he feels that we’re still not married? Come on, dad. Either you weren’t listening, or you don’t know what shallow means.”
  •  “But, honey…” “His family is broken enough, dad. Let’s not break ours too just because you’re seeing Zen as just another actor, not as the man I chose to share my life with.”
  • Zen could almost cry right there. How did he manage to find someone who can see so deep inside him? Yeah, he definitely likes being known for his looks, but the fact you see beyond them is really overwhelming.
  • When you two are saying goodbye to your father, he gives a firm handshake to the man.  “I hope we can spend more time together, sir.”
  • “I would like that a lot. I see you have a bike, what brand is it?” that goodbye turned into a long conversation about bikes, which was super boring to you, but seeing them bonding was worth it.

Yoosung

  • “I honestly thought it was a joke when you introduced him as your boyfriend, sis.”
  • He heard when you and your sister were in your bedroom trying to find something for you to wear, Yoosung accidentally spilled wine on you.
  • “Shut up.” “No, I’m serious! What are you thinking, MC? He seems like a teenage mama’s boy. Look at what he did to your shirt, he’s so clumsy and… nerve-wracking! You’ll have to play his mommy all the time!”
  • Well, it’s not like he haven’t thought about himself like that before, but listening when it comes from another person, that person being someone who grew up with you hurts a lot more.
  • His first instinct was head out of there without anybody noticing he’s gone. But… then your sister would be completely right.
  • “He just spilled wine on me because his spatial notion is still a little compromised due to his eye. Have I told you he hurt his eye trying to protect me, sis? And yeah, he’s still a little nervous because he doesn’t know my family too well, but your hostility definitely won’t help him calming down. If you’ weren’t such a bitch, maybe you would have noticed by now he’s an amazing smart man that makes me really happy.”
  • “You just called me a bitch because of that guy?” “I did, just so you know how serious I am about him, to the point I’m fighting with my favorite person in the world.”
  • Well, he’s glad he didn’t run and stayed to listen to this. You made him sound like a really cool reliable guy, the type of man he’s trying to be for you.
  • After you and your sister go back to the living room, she makes sure to sit next to you two. “So wait… you asked her to be your pre-girlfriend before you got together? Oh my God, that’s so adorable…”
  • Then you two kept squealing over that photo of his with the roses, and though he’s super embarrassed, he couldn’t help feeling a little smug when your sister said ”Huh, I wish my boyfriend were like this.”

Jaehee

  • “She seems a little cold, MC. Are you sure she really likes you?”
  • She heard when you and your brother were setting the table while she was talking to your parents in the living room, she decided she needed to help as well.
  • “Ugh, don’t even start, bro.” “I’m not saying this to be an ass! Come on, MC, she’s so formal! She’s almost like a granny, you’ll get bored if you stay with her! This if she doesn’t dump you first, she seems cold like that.”
  •  You warned her about your brother’s brutal honesty, but this still felt unexpectedly hurtful.
  • She was really trying to loosen up, and she honestly felt she was doing a good job, at least next to you and to your friends, maybe she wasn’t and people close to you were feeling she wasn’t real about your relationship?
  • “She’s been working her ass off on a very strict company basically since she graduated, she’s still learning to loosen up. You would have noticed this if you weren’t so desperate about finding something to complain about my girlfriend, as you typically do.”
  • “Jeez, MC, calm down! I’m just worried for you.” “I appreciate it, but you’re the one boring me right now, let’s end this before I stop feeling bored and end up getting angry.”
  • She can’t help feeling this warmth growing inside her. Knowing that you are willing to fight for her like this is amazing! Not only because she never had that before, but also because it’s you.
  • Your brother decides to talk a little more to her. “Whooooa, so you’re a judo blackbelt? That’s awesome! You gotta teach me some moves!”
  • Well, giving this guy an ippon after he pissed you off would satisfy her more than she cared to admit.


Jumin

  • “Are you sure this is a healthy relationship, honey?”
  •  Your mother asked you when you two were making dinner while he was setting the table, as you asked him, but he didn’t know where to find the forks.
  •  “What do you mean, ma?” “I mean, he seems so intimidating and, everything is happening so fast, you barely know each other and are already engaged, he seems very intense, for that matter.”
  • Well, he was indeed very intense, but… intimidating? He never wanted to come across as intimidating, not to you, not to the woman who raised you.
  • Was he intimidating you to the point you were feeling pressured to get married?
  •  “Mom, I know what you’re trying to say. He’s not like dad, okay? Yes, he is very intense, just because he never had the chance to express his feelings like all of us do.“
  • “Well, your father wasn’t good at expressing feelings either, then he expressed with actions…” “Ma, Jumin would never hurt me, emotionally or physically. I know you might be thinking I’m on a cycle, that I have daddy issues, but… just give him a chance, okay? Let him prove he is nothing like my father.”
  • He was really sad for you and your mother. Two amazing women were suffering due to a man’s behavior, this was awful in so many levels…
  • He walks into the kitchen, pretending he didn’t hear a thing. “Why don’t you just rest while MC and I cook, maam?”
  • “Oh wow, what a gentleman… nothing like her father.” He smiled genuinely, neither of the women were feeling intimidated by that smile.

Saeyoung

  • “Your mother and I think you deserve better.”
  • Your father says when you were helping him changing a light bulb, Saeyoung decided to help when he heard this.
  • “Why would you think that, dad?” “Sweetie, he’s a train wreck! He’s immature, irresponsible, you told me how rude he acted with you. How can you be sure he won’t start pushing you away again?”
  • Of course he knew how immature and irresponsible he was, but he never really thought about what if he started getting snappy to you again. He promised he wouldn’t, but… was he good at keeping promises? Ask his brother.
  •  If he had any good sense, he would walk away and pretend he didn’t listen to any of this. He was already immature and irresponsible, he didn’t need o be nosy as well.
  • “He just pushed me away because he was worried and pretty sure he would die at any moment back then, dad. He was scared, he’s been scared his whole life! Have I told you what kind of hell he and his brother grew up at?”
  • “Sweetie, it still doesn’t justify…” “It does to me. He is scared and willing to change for me, I know that because I trust him. Can’t you trust the man your daughter loves? Not even a little?”
  • Well, if you asked him anything with that tone, he would oblige without thinking… ugh, you’re so sweet, so lovely, so caring… he can never push you away again! Not right now his life is so great with you and his brother, but it isn’t perfect, since your parents don’t like him…
  • “I’ll be honest with you, son. I still don’t trust you, but my daughter does and she never failed her judgments, that, and only because of that, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” You looked at him and smiled.
  • “Thank you, sir. I’ll prove it will be worth it.” Not so immature and irresponsible right now, is he?

Saeran

  • “MC, listen to me, this guy is trouble!”
  • He heard this through the baby monitor when you and your sister went to check on her son.
  • “Why are you saying this?” “MC, he is… creepy! Are you dating him to punish dad? Look at him, he looks like he’s on the edge of a mental breakdown! Are you sure you want to play his nurse forever?”
  • He wasn’t on the edge of a mental breakdown! At least not now… at least not since you came along, but there were a few says, though…
  • Your sister is so right! He’s so weird and creepy, he doesn’t deserve you at all! Why did he even think he could handle trying to be normal and do normal things with you?
  • “I’m not playing his nurse! I like to help him because I love him, and he had mental break downs in the past, you would have too if you were locked up and forced to drugs after growing up with an abusive mother. All he needs is support and a loving family, not this… judgment from you!”
  • “MC, calm down, I was just…” “I know you’re concerned, but focus your concern on helping me give him what he needs. If you have nothing else nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
  • Saeran didn’t hear any of this, he hid in the bathroom when you two left the bay’s bedroom and kept talking as you walked into the living room.
  • Then you two heard the baby crying through the baby monitor, but he quickly stopped, you two found it odd and went to check on him.
  • He was fine, Saeran was holding him. “Am… Am I doing this right?” Making yours and your sister’s heart explode from sweetness? Yep, he was doing this right.

V

  • “What are you even thinking dating this guy, MC?”
  • Your brother asked you when V went to the toilet, he got lost and tried to get back to ask your brother where was it, exactly.
  • “What do you mean?” “I mean, he’s an old blind man, MC! You’re wasting your youth with a guy like this, he won’t be able to keep it up with you!”
  • V already thought about it, yes, you were so young, did you really need to take such a responsibility by dating him?
  • And that coming from your brother, who sounded so worried… he hated being a burden and provoking this arguing between two family members…
  • “He’s just one year older than you, so chill. And what century are we in? Do you think just because he’s blind, he’s not able to have a normal life? Dude, we’re planning a trip to Italy for my birthday, I think that’s pretty normal, don’t you?”
  •  “MC, take I easy, I’m just…” “You’re concerned, but you don’t have to.  He’s pretty good by himself, and he’s independent, he doesn’t need me, yet he wants me, and I want him, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”
  • He needed you, maybe not to do things for him, yes. But he needed you because he loved you, and he was so happy that you were so sure about him not being a burden.
  • You were saying goodbye, when your brother said: “I’m sorry, dude.”
  • “If you want to apologize, apologize for stressing her out. As for me, don’t worry, I’ll make sure to bring you a gift from Italy as a peace offer.”
I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.