i just think its pretty funny

i know it’s kind of a meme in the fandom that viktor thought making A SCENE and greeting yuuri naked in japan but i think that was completely unintentional? which makes it even funnier imo?

allow me to explain

i don’t know exactly how long after yuuri’s video went viral that this scene happens, but it’s safe to say that at least a couple of days passed? perhaps a week or a bit more, even though the anime makes it look like it’s on the next day?

so he’s been avoiding the media for days, keeping his phone off so absolutely nobody’s going to be able to reach him until people forget about this madness 

which means he’s also entirely clueless about the rumors of viktor being his coach

and it makes it so much funnier because we know yuuri’s dad doesn’t know jack shit about figure skating, and viktor doesn’t know how to speak japanese AND IT WAS PROBABLY TOSHIYA WHO FIRST TALKED TO VIKTOR WHEN HE ARRIVED AT YU-TOPIA?

TOSHIYA IF YOU’D ONLY GET INTO YOUR SON’S ROOM, LOOKED AROUND AND DID THE MATH YOU WOULD KNOW

so what has happened was probably something like “i have no idea what you’re saying mr. foreign-dude but you’re probably here for our famous onsen so yes make yourself comfortable” which viktor, tired as fuck from his travel (a long ass flight from st. petersburg to tokyo, probably? plus the train from tokyo to hasetsu?) GLADLY ACCEPTS

hell yeah i’m going to enjoy the fuck out of his hot spring

since yuuri is nowhere to be seen why not take some time to relax after a long travel, am i right

it’s not like viktor would understand if yuuri’s parents were to say “oh yes yuuri is holed up in his bedroom but he’ll come out eventually” so as viktor is pretty sure he found the right place and that yuuri is there he’ll just wait and have a nice soak meanwhile

AND THEN YUURI JUST BARGES INTO THE ROOM WHERE VIKTOR IS BATHING

well, this was not how i had planned this to go but here you are?

AND OF COURSE, STANDING UP WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY BUT VIKTOR BASICALLY INVENTED BEING EXTRA AND… LET ME SHOW YOU MY HOT BOD BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE YOUR ALMOST-EVERYTHING AT THE BANQUET SO I THINK IT’S FAIR YOU GET TO SEE ME NOW AM I RIGHT??? 

in viktor’s mind, yuuri is this extroverted, outgoing party animal he got to know at the banquet and was absolutely mesmerized by, so he probably thinks yuuri’s going to be alright with this extra introduction? also knowing yuuri lives and probably worked at the onsen for a while viktor maybe just assumes he’s probably unfazed by nudity?

oh viktor, little did you know

it just gets funnier the more you look into it

2

I’ve actually had this rolling around in my head for weeks and it was funny when I first thought of it. Sometimes I am self-conscious of my dumb ideas.  

kravitz not knowin how 2 be an alive person. its funny. he doesnt kno how to cook. do elves need sleep? taako does it a lot but hes not sure, he thinks taako might just be Like That. he gets asked to babysit angus one day and has no idea what to do. kids definitely need sleep dont they?? hes like. pretty sure. angus keeps trying to trick krav into letting him stay up later. i actually need two helpings of dessert sir! for my growing little boy body! sugar is important!

Welcome to the deep end, kid

EXO as High School Seniors

김민석 // Minseok Kim ° Xiumin
¤ its been four years but people still call him minSOK
¤ he was born a year before all the seniors so he’s older than all of them
¤ “I have two part time jobs so shut the fuck up”
¤ doesn’t have any really close friends but still has some
¤ wears ear buds EVERYDAY, can’t live w/o them

김준면 // Junmyeon Kim ° Suho
¤ is the class president even though nobody knows who he is
¤ took every AP and Honors class possible from freshman year till now
¤ was on the national honors society every year and got the Summa Cum Laude award (4.0+ gpa ofc)

¤ very nice!!
¤ father friend but not a pushover

张艺兴 // Yixing Zhang ° Lay
¤ he always looks high but has never smoked in his life
¤ nobody knows he can dance hella good but he’s always doing dance moves in the air
¤ “bro , I don’t smoke weed stop asking”
¤ he laughs at people crying
¤ asks dumb questions in class “so is math related to science?” (everyone sighs)

변백현 // Baekhyun Byun ° Baekhyun
¤ a THOT
¤ wears tight pants so he can “enhance his curves”
¤ loud everyday for no reason!

¤ friends with all the janitors
¤ if you see him around chanyeol you know shit is going down (not in a good way)
¤ throws parties but gets drunk ; hooked up with Chanyeol (who follows him like a dog)

김종대 // Jongdae Kim ° Chen
¤ the sensible friend
¤ whines for e v e r y t h i n g, but its cute so cant get mad
¤ can’t never do nothing by himself (people always ruin it for him)
¤ short but strong
¤ has a car and people only want rides
(“youre all SNAKES” he whines)

박찬열 // Chanyeol Park ° Chanyeol
¤ ANNOYING ASF
¤ and tall for no reason!!
¤ hangs off of his shorter friends because he “gets tired of walking”
¤ doesn’t know when to stop playing!!
¤ tries to turn in assignments at the last minute
¤ a part of the drumline in marching band
¤ in LOVE with baekhyun, doesn’t care what Baek does to him (“hes my cinnamon apple” he screams)

도경수 // Kyungsoo Do ° D.O
(literally me!!!)
¤ very very average student
¤ grades are good, test scores are qualifying
¤ everybody thinks he’s smart asf when he literally does nothing
¤ pretty asexual (but literally wants to hold jongin)
¤ only in the psychology club
¤ took cooking twice in a row (when he got to put in his schedule)
¤ “why are you looking at me, stop”


김종인 // Jongin Kim ° Kai
¤ “wheres this class again?”
¤ laughs at anything and everything because “its just funny” (with tears in his eyes)
¤ sleeps in class and super grumpy for the rest of the day
¤ acts condescending sometimes
¤ takes 47809678 snaps before sending them to kyungsoo (“omg I look so ugly 😥”)


오세훈 // Sehun Oh ° Sehun
¤ immune to people saying “Oh, its Sehun”
¤ has a sugar daddy, he calls him Lulu (“we wont even meet, he lives in China”)
¤ always absent for some reason too
¤ copies people’s homework and acts surprised when he gets caught

¤ VERY sassy , rolls his eyes 24/7

¤ “oh my GOSH , JUST SEND THE SNAP” (he yells at jongin)

so i hate almost the entire flooded district level, but corvo waking up in a cage looking, feeling and smelling like shit, his palate probably tasting wierd and gross after the poison, probably pretty hungry, stealthing his way around acid-spitting oysters to get his gear and then crawling through this entire wet dumpster to finally kick daud in his nasty face, all powered by the force of sheer spite & endless love for his daughter, is a mood

Thanks, Cas

Pairing: Sam x reader

Warnings: swearing, smut, the usual

Requested: yeperoni, on wattpad

Word Count: 2325

Tags: @winter-in-wakanda

Originally posted by demondetoxmanual


“You ready?” Sam asks, knocking on the bathroom door where you’ve locked yourself away. It’s your birthday, and Sam is taking you out to a fancy dinner for a night of pretending to be normal people who don’t hunt monsters for a living. You went to a good bit of trouble to get dolled up; hair done, heels on. Taking a deep breath and smoothing out your tight black dress, you smile at yourself in the mirror.

“I am. But are you ready to see me?” You tease Sam, and he chuckles.

“Yes, I think I-” Sam’s words cut out as soon as you open the door. His eyes rake up and down, from your heels to your curls and back again.

“Told you to get ready,” you smile, and Sam licks his lips, running his hands over his suit jacket. He clears his throat, finally making eye contact.

“This is going to be fun,” he says mischievously, and you shoot him a questioning look. He quickly shakes it off, clearing his throat again.

“Shall we go?”

-

“Shoot, that soup looks good too. Sam, what are you ordering? Can we split… hey, are you listening?” You wave a hand in front of your boyfriend’s face from across the table, and you can see his concentration melt away as he stops staring at your water glass and returns to reality. You give him a confused smile, unable to figure out what’s been making him act weird all night.

“Of course I’m listening. I- wait, what was the question?” he asks, and you laugh, shaking your head. Sometimes you think you’re dating the smartest man alive while simultaneously dating the dumbest dork alive.

“Sam, are you sure you’re you alright?” You inquire, setting down your menu and leaning forward on your elbows. He nods quickly, licking his lips and diving into his menu.

“Want to split some soup?” He asks innocently, and you smile broadly. He may be a dork, but boy do you love Sam. You two have the same thoughts at separate times.

“Sam, I tried to ask you that exact question about sixty seconds ago,” you tell him, laughing lightly as a blush creeps up on his cheeks.

“Not how this was supposed to go, Cas,” you hear Sam mutter under his breath, clearly frustrated, and you feel more confused than ever. What the hell?

“Okay, look, I know something is- oh-h, ah, S-Sam,” you suddenly stutter. Your accusation was interrupted by an absolutely bizarre feeling between your legs. You clamp a hand over your mouth, because although it’s not a particularly strong feeling, you can’t imagine what the source is, which freaks you out.

You look up at him, panicked, and feel your heart rate pick up at his expression. He’s smirking triumphantly. Your brows furrow, and you pull away your hand, opening your mouth to ask him what the hell is happening. Instead of words, all that escapes is a shaky sigh of pleasure as the feeling gets stronger. Fucking hell, it’s like Sam’s touching you.

“Enjoying yourself, baby?” He taunts, and with that, you know that somehow, he is touching you. Just.. without actually touching you. You glare, mouth sealed shut as you push your thighs together just as tight.

“I wanted to give you something special for your birthday, baby,” Sam says, and you grip onto the tablecloth desperately as the feeling takes over your clit.

“And so Cas lent me some of his grace. Turns out, he knows some fun angel secrets. Pretty powerful, isn’t it? Feeling me touch you with my mind?” he explains, outwardly loving this. You, however, feel like everyone’s staring at you try not to get any wetter than you already are. No way you’re coming in the middle of a fancy restaurant.

“Sam, stop,” you say through gritted teeth, looking around warily. Surprisingly, he does as you say, the sensation disappearing. You feel a little cold and left out in the wake of it, but try not to show your disappointment. This is what you wanted, right?

“Sure thing, baby. So, soup?” He asks cheerily, taking a sip of his water. You want to pull your hair out, but go along with it. Maybe it’s best to just pretend nothing ever happened.

“Soup.”

-

“And can I get you two any desserts?” the perky waiter asks, and you smile at Sam, hoping he’ll let you get some obnoxiously chocolatey dessert. He nods slightly, and you brighten up.

“Yes, we’ll ha-aa- oh, uh,” you’re taken aback by the sudden pleasure between your legs. This time, Sam is going all out, and you swear you can feel his fingers pumping inside you even though you’re staring at them resting on the table in front of you.

“Are you alright?” the waiter questions, looking lost. You glare at Sam, mentally begging him to either let up or cover for you.

“Oh, she’s fine. We’ll have the chocolate mousse, please,” Sam brushes you off, and although the waiter still looks wary, he writes down your order and hurries away nonetheless. Meanwhile, the tension in you is building as Sam changes his speed constantly, switching from faster than you thought possible to tortuously slow.

“Are you alright?” Sam feigns concern, and you swear if you weren’t so desperate to kiss him, you’d murder him. You’re about to verbalize that when, of course, Sam puts pressure on your clit, sticking with the faster pace.

“Ah, fuck, oh, fuck you, Sam,” you whisper, clenching your hands into fists. You want nothing more than to throw your head back and enjoy the feeling, but the chatter all around you reminds you that you’re entirely in the open.

“Fuck me? Well, actually, I was kind of hoping you would do just that,” Sam teases, lowering his voice so no one overhears. You want to scream his name; he’s going so fast and so hard on you that you can barely breathe.

“S-Sam,” you whimper again, looking at him with pleading eyes. You aren’t sure what you’re begging for - an end to the torture or an orgasm - but at this point, you aren’t sure it matters.

“Are you close, baby? Are you about to cum in front of all these rich, elegant people? Are you going to cream in your panties and fancy black dress? Hm?” Sam leans forward, and hearing him whispering dirty words makes you feel even hotter, if that’s possible.

“Sam, oh god yes,” you try to stay quiet, but simply can’t. You lean forward, one forearm resting on the table, head hanging low. Sam is actually going to make you cum in a crowded restaurant.

“One chocolate mousse- uh, hey, are you sure you’re okay?” The waiter approaches, and you snap your head up as Sam once again takes away your pleasure in an instant. Your pussy aches in complaint, but you force a smile as the chocolate mousse is placed in front of you.

“Oh, I’m just fine. Could we get the check now, please?” You say, giving Sam a pointed look. He’s got a mischievous glint in his eye as he pretends to be confused.

“Don’t you want to eat our mousse, baby?” Sam raises his eyebrows, knowing full well you’re throbbing for him.

“We’ll eat it as the check comes,” you promise, and the waiter gives you both another weird look as he turns to get the check as you asked. Once his back is turned, you drop the smile and glare at Sam.

“There’s something fucking wrong with you,” you hiss through gritted teeth, but Sam just grins, picking up his spoon and digging into the dessert.

“Want more, is that it?” Sam taunts around a mouthful of chocolate, and your grip on your spoon tightens so much you feel you might bend the metal.

“I swear to god, if you use that mojo on me one more time while we’re sitting here, you will never again get to have sex with me,” you threaten, dead serious. Sam drains of a little color, nodding in defeat as he eats some more. You sigh, exasperated.

When the waiter finally arrives with your check, you’re more than a little relieved that Sam isn’t messing with you as you talk. You hastily pay, and don’t hesitate a second to get up and start walking out. You weave past other diners and feel as if they all know how on edge you are. Sam follows behind you, trotting along and outwardly showing his rejection. You aren’t sure why exactly he’s being so mopey and dramatic, but you don’t have time to care. You need him alone, now.

The minute you’re in the parking lot, you just about fall to your knees. Sam has started up again, and your knees are going weak, making you wobbly on your heels. Sam strolls up behind you, letting you lean on him for support as you hold in moans. He’s going slow again, nice and easy.

“Sam, oh, fuck, oh, I’m going to kill you, I swear. I said… fuck… no more,” you say, blissed out with your eyes closed and head leaning back. You can feel his breath tickle your neck as he laughs.

“Oh yes, you sound very scary. But your rules were not while we were sitting there. I’m entirely in bounds,” he teases as he nudges you forward. With his help, you stumble your way to the impala, ankles twisting in your heels every other step as Sam keeps the hits coming. He opens the door to the backseat and helps you lie down in it. You grab his jacket lapels in your fists and pull him down on top of you. It’s a bit ridiculous with his height, but that’s not your concern right now.

Still gripping his jacket, you pull Sam’s mouth to yours, kissing him passionately. He laughs a little at first, but melts into it with you, one hand cupping the side of your face as his hair tickles your cheek. Your tongue slides over his, and you’re moaning freely into his mouth as he keeps slowly building up speed.

“I want to really feel you inside me, Sam, no more teasing,” you whisper, and Sam groans. He nods, sitting up and closing the car door behind him. The sensations are subsiding, but you don’t mind, knowing you’re about to get the real thing. Sam reaches into his pocket and pulls out a condom, and you laugh a little.

“You came prepared, didn’t you?” you joke, and Sam laughs with you. Not wasting any time, you undo his pants eagerly. You let him put the condom on as you hike up your dress and shimmy out of your soaked panties. Sam realizes what you’re doing only when you’re nearly done, and pouts.

“Hey, I wanted to do that,” he whines, having finished putting the condom on his hard length. You try not to get distracted by it and roll your eyes at Sam.

“You’ve had more than your fair share of fun with teasing me, Sam. I’m ready,” you tell him, and he smiles, leaning down to kiss you again. He lines up with your entrance, then pauses, looking down.

“Holy shit,” he murmurs upon seeing how wet you are. He got you so close to coming that your arousal is literally dripping, and Sam licks his lips at the sight. You sigh impatiently, not wanting to wait a second longer. So you grab his lower back and push him into you without hesitation. It’s a little sloppy and it startles Sam, but the sweet relief is enough to make you moan nonetheless.

“Woah, eager, are we?” Sam says as he starts to thrust in and out against your slick walls. You hum in pleasure, gripping him tighter and pulling him closer. The fact that you’re both still nearly fully clothed doesn’t phase either of you, hands still roaming.

“Shut up and fuck me,” you instruct, and Sam kisses your ear, making you smile.

“I think we can manage that,” he replies, picking up momentum. Soon enough, he’s slamming into you hard enough to rock the car and you’re both moaning and sweating like crazy. His hair is swinging in your face, and your nails claw at his back through his jacket and shirt.

After a full night of teasing, you reach the edge of your orgasm quicker than ever. You try to tell Sam you’re close, but all that comes out is more moans. He seems to get the idea anyways, reaching a hand down to rub circles on your clit.

“Oh, hell yes,” Sam mutters as you reach your high. Your walls clench around him, your back arches into his chest, and you curl your toes in pleasure. You can hardly breathe, and feel Sam fill up the condom as you come down. He keeps thrusting through both of your orgasms erratically, losing control of his rhythm as he comes.

When you’re both done, both panting heavily, Sam collapses on top of you. You let out an ‘oof’ along with strangled laughter, and Sam giggles. Picking himself up again, he smiles down at you.

“Sorry, baby,” he whispers, leaning in to kiss you. You hold his jaw as you return the sweet kiss, reveling in the afterglow.

“You know that you’re going to pay for what you did tonight, right?” you say between kisses, pulling back and making him pause. Sam closes his eyes, sighs, and nods.

“I know.”

“Don’t look so sad. You’ll love my punishment,” you whisper the last part against his ear, and Sam gets that devilish smirk back on his face. He leans in to kiss you some more, but you stop him again. Hand on his chest, you look up to the sky - well, the car’s ceiling. He follows your gaze, and you smile widely.

“Dear Cas, please accept my many, many, many thanks. Amen.”

THE SIGNS AS GUYS I KNOW
  • Aries: TRASH COMPLETE TRASH. He used to be really sweet and was pretty much the king of cute guys two years ago, but now he thinks being a jerk that only talks about having sex with his girlfriend is cool. IT'S NOT FYI
  • Taurus: Really chill and funny, but he gets randomly depressed at times and it makes me sad because this dude deserves to be happy.
  • Gemini: Great fashion sense and he always keeps it 100 percent, nothing more and nothing less. He's honestly one of my favorite people, but we don't hang out much these days. Hmm... sad.
  • Cancer: ALSO TRASH. Passive-aggressive and annoying. He doesn't like to look at himself as the problem and just blaming everything on other people. [Micheal Jordan voice] Stop it, get some help.
  • Leo: ANNOYING AND LOUD. Breaks up friendships too because some people (me) become super petty and annoyed when this person is around that they (me) have to stop talking to one of their best friends for a whole year.
  • Virgo: Comes across as really strange and probably has some weird fetishes, but he's nice so yeah.
  • Libra: Pretentious and douchey. Everyone seems to like this dude for some reason though. I can see why people do sometimes, but then he just does something and I HATE HIM AGAIN. He might be really successful in the future though.
  • Scorpio: Video game nerd, but not smart nerd, ya know? He gets a new crush every other week and has probably liked all my friends at some point in time. But he's super nice and gave me candy once so I'm not a hater.
  • Sagittarius: SUPER FUNNY AND SMART. But always seems to have a crush on someone and it's just sad seeing him try to flirt. I cringe as I type.
  • Capricorn: I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, HE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (even though he doesn't know I exist oops). HE'S SO TALENTED AND SEXY I COULD DIE. But he seems to not think before he speaks (or tweets in this case) and it makes me sad. (Me: Doesn't know any Capricorn guys, so I write about my celebrity crush lolol)
  • Aquarius: He's probably always high or drunk. BUT still pretty cool... in small doses. If I had to spend more than an hour with this dude I'd probably die.
  • Pisces: Innocent and sweet. He is an innocent child, I will personally fight anyone who tries to corrupt this innocent baby. Ok? Ok.
3

 NCT’s reaction to one of the hardest/fastest girlgroup choreography😂😂

Oh.

That awkward moment when you realize Redwall Abbey is the richest place in the entire Redwallverse.

Things The Abbey Has That Blow Vermins’ Minds:

  • Stained glass windows. Windows that aren’t just a hole in your wall.
  • Fruit trees. All in one place. With several varieties available.
  • Really big well-built stone walls.
  • Fireplaces constructed so the room doesn’t fill with smoke.
  • Actual beds. No seriously. Think about it.
  • A hand-woven tapestry that decorates an entire wall.
  • Multiple ovens.
  • A fish pond. And it’s not just for decoration. But it kind of is.
  • A deep cellar that keeps drinks cool. (That’s like the future.)
  • Stone floors, not dirt floors.
  • An apiary. Just… just go in your backyard and grab some honey. Do it.
  • Wall sconces.
  • Random assorted objects made of metal and not wood. Whoa.
  • Books. Parchment. Quill pens. Ink. More than one of these items each.
  • A well-stocked food and beverage collection.
  • Abbess Germaine’s spectacles. Like, glasses.
  • Legitimate stonework. Decorative gargoyles, statues, etc.
  • Martin’s sword.
  • Furniture. Chairs that are at least mildly comfortable. Cabinets.
  • Two ridiculously huge, shiny metal bells.
  • Soap.

annisweirdlittleworld  asked:

Can we just put it out there that screaming stuff like "lady door" or whatever that might be the thing by the time the tour comes around when in the audience, is not funny, Dan and Phil won't appreciate it, it's so cringe and embarrassing.. can we just keep it nice and happy and not just scream all those things that's so "lol random!1!!"? Please? I can't be the only one with this opinion, can I?

i don’t think there’s too much to worry about! at tatinof everyone was pretty chilled (at least at the show i went to).. and lady door will be dead and gone by then

things cis people say

“wait ur nonbinary? I thought you were trans!”
“But using your pronouns are hard!!”
“Cis is a slur!!!”
“I hate those trans people who always make a fuss!”
“Is that a man or a woman? *uses it/its*”
“I’m alright with trans people, I just hate those fake genders”
*Insert 500 transphobic jokes*
“They’re just jokes oh my god! You’re so sensitive”
“Lmao men in dresses are so funny”
“But what if a man says he’s a woman and sneaks into the bathroom to assault people”
“you’re pretty cute for a trans man/woman”
“which bathroom do you use”
“what’s in your pants”
“are u pre op?”
“How do you have sex?”
“so technically you’re a (insert assigned gender)”
“So she- well, she thinks she’s a boy but I’ve known her for a long time so it’s okay”
“I’ve never met a trans before !!”
"i can misgender you cos you’re a cunt”
“you’re not even trans”
“But you don’t look trans!”
“I wouldn’t date a trans, I’m just not attracted to them”
“i identify as a dog LOL !!!”
“transgendered”
“down with trans”
“Cisphobia is just as bad as transphobia”
“how can you hate someone just for being transphobic?”
“down with cis is harmful”
“dysphoria cant be that bad”
“down with hate”
“I’m not transphobic my sister’s friend’s cousin’s nephew is trans!”
“You transgenders will say anything’s transphobic”
“im not transphobic i thought i was trans 
"are you sure you’re not just butch?”
“you’re too young to know your’re trans!”
“you’re too old to know you’re trans!”
“why is being trans suddenly a trend?”
”*t-slur*“
"i can say that i have a trans friend”
“this is (birthname) she thinks she’s a boy!”
“oh she’s playing dress up”
“i’ve never dated a trans but i’m up for experimenting”
“i can say that i have a trans friend”

2

northern downpour // panic! at the disco

anonymous asked:

i love the 'my man' headcanon omg tell us more about it! when was the first time alec called magnus that? was it a slip of the tongue sort of thing or said on purpose? what was magnus' reaction to the first time it happened? does magnus ever say "as your man,..." with a tiny smirk on his face as he continues on? omg i swear to god if alec has magnus as "my man" on his phone, im gonna die what a sappy dork

ausdfjasdfa I could talk about this headcanon all fucking day. 

Okay, so the first first time Alec says it, Magnus doesn’t hear him. He’s talking to Izzy. 

“Magnus looks pretty good today,” Izzy said with a smirk while nudging his shoulder. She’s observing 

Alec scoffed, “my man always looks good.” 

And Izzy just raises an eyebrow and laughs at him while he blushes and looks away- but he doesn’t take it back. 

The first time he says it actually TO Magnus was a total slip of the tongue. He 100% saved Magnus in his phone as “My Man” because he’s a disaster romantic dork he just hasn’t really been given the chance to be up until very recently. Also- side note, I just think its super funny that Alec is definitely the more romantic of the two. Like, Magnus thinks he is but his idea of romance is a little bit quirky and Alec is the true traditional romantic. Ngl he 100% has also whispered poetry in Magnus’s ears under the stars on the roof of Magnus’s apartment. 

But the first time Magnus hears it is when Magnus is getting ready to go out. They have reservations at this really nice restaurant that Magnus loves and Alec is super excited to go with him. Anyway, Magnus is wearing this really well-tailored suit, with signature jewelry, and a perfectly tied Winston knot on his bright blue tie that matches the blue eyeliner he’s wearing. 

And Alec just runs his hands up and down the lapels of his jacket (jfc Alec has such a thing for lapels #confirmed). And sort of murmurs to himself, “by the Angel, look at my man.” 

And the second he says it he realizes what he said and he kind of freezes and blushes, but he also has that signature Alec Lightwood Defiant Glare™ just daring Magnus to say something about it. 

“Your man, huh?” Magnus asks. His tone is snarky but his eyes are soft- and one hand reaches to grab one of Alec’s which is still resting on his jacket. 

“Yeah,” Alec says with this super dopey smile and then he raises this challenging eyebrow, “got a problem with that?” 

“Of course not, darling,” Magnus replies. 

And Alec just pulls him in and kiss him, they just barely make their reservation.

Of course, Magnus also uses this against him. Alec is just so weak and soft whenever Magnus refers to himself as his man. Just falls apart, Magnus has one too many arguments by slipping that in. Cheeky bastard. 

Alec is trying to explain why they can’t make out in the Institute but Magnus is kissing down his deflection rune and Alec is this close to cracking. 

“As your man, don’t I get special privileges?” Magnus asks. 

And, as always, Alec always just melts, and is like “yeah- yeah, you do.” 

BUT ALSO! (wow someone please stop me) He also uses it hella to defend Magnus. 

“What the fuck did you just about  my man?” Alec said glaring at a Clave official. Magnus isn’t even here, they’re just making joking comments about the slutty, bisexual, biracial Warlock and Alec won’t have it. 

Normally, if Magnus is around, Alec lets him defend himself because he knows he can. But you’d have to be a damn fool to insult Magnus Bane in front of Alec Lightwood, especially behind that Warlock’s back. 

“I- I-” 

“Don’t you dare talk shit about Magnus again. No one gets away with insulting my man, understood?” 

And the Clave official just shakes in his boots and nods. 


…. Yeah… So this got away from me….. My point is, Alec is just so soft and wants cuddles, and wants to be around his man. And he’s just so super happy that he gets to declare that he’s with a man, a great man, his man, whenever he fucking can. 

anonymous asked:

Did you know that libra has got a low strenght growth of 25%, which is one of the lowest str growths in the game? Not only that but his str growths are the same as lissa's, libras got the arms of a little girl lmao

Hey man, he’s more the cleric sort, he doesn’t nEED TO HAVE A HIGH STR GROWTH (and besides, I class him as a dark knight as soon as it’s convenient anyway, it’s all about that mag stat akjfkahgjfhagf)

But besides that, I mean. Lissa is pretty strong. Like. Have you seen her in Warriors? Girl’s wielding a big ol axe. I wouldn’t wanna get hit by her or anything.

And then because apparently I’m not done with this subject, he is implied to be fairly physically strong in a few of his supports (especially the supports with Virion) and like?? the stats don’t mirror that but don’t be mean, anon–

Random Starters [ send me one maybe? ]
  • "Do you believe in the tooth fairy?"
  • "I think I'm pregnant. And it's not yours."
  • "I feel like I'm going to puke."
  • "Are you seriously wearing that to the party tonight?"
  • "You need to change that attitude before we leave this house."
  • "I AM NOT CRAZY!"
  • "Stop staring at me like I grew a second head."
  • "Are you drunk or do you just act like that all the time?"
  • "I forgot where I parked my car."
  • "I'm not going to lie to you anymore. I do love you, but I..."
  • "It's only a slice of pie."
  • "I just want to be loved again. Is that so wrong?"
  • "The cat is looking at me funny."
  • "YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"
  • "I think you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
  • "Care to join me?"
  • "I would rather not eat dinner alone."
  • "Did you remember to lock the door?"
  • "How do you live with yourself everyday, doing what you do?"
  • "I don't feel pretty enough for him."
  • "You can do anything you set your mind to."
  • "People say ignorance is bliss, but... I just want to know the truth."
  • "People are stupid today."
  • "I'm in the hospital. Can you come?"
  • "You're act liking I'm in love with you or something."
  • "Go ahead and leave. I'm not going to stop you."
  • "I'm tired of fighting."
  • "I think you need help."
  • "Do whatever you believe in, and I'll support you."
  • "What is it like being you?"
soulmate! Seungkwan

requested by anon: “Soulmate Seungkwan please?🤗🤗 ”

Summary: in which you have your soulmate’s initials under your collarbone, which glows once you meet

  • “GUYS! SEUNGKWAN! COME LOOK AT THIS!!" 
  • soonyoung barges into the dance studio excitedly 
  • everyone complies with confused faces 
  • soon enough everyone has a perfect view of a paused video on his phone 
  • "LOOK!! (his soulmate) sent me this!! and i think- you know i’ll just let you guys watch!!!" 
  • seungkwan himself has a front and center view of the video as a result of soonyoung pulling him right next to him
  • "isnt this l/n y/n??" 
  • seungkwan asks recognizing your face, the name always stuck because those were the initials
  • most of the younger generation knew you due to your comedic skits that you korean subbed or did in korean 
  • svt murmured in agreement
  • soonyoung shushed them and turned on the video, it was some type of q&a 
  • but that’s not what some of the members noticed first 
  • in fact seungkwan, 
  • "SHE HAS MY INITIALS?!?!?!!" 
  • svt equals chaos
  • "if she is your soulmate i feel bad for her, she has B.S. under her collarbone" 
  • joshua immediately burst out laughing at vernon’s words 
  • they got stared at oddly but seungkwan just held a hand over his own tattoo 
  • it was always covered carefully in makeup, and it seems like yours was normally covered too 
  • he’s always watched your videos, admiring how funny and easy going you could be and pretty 
  • but to think…what are the chances you both have the same soulmate mark and each others initials, its not possible you guys arent,,, 
  • "HYUNGS WHAT DO I DO NOW?!?!

  • like every morning, you wake up and check your email 
  • as a youtuber and college student, your career definitely wasn’t ideal 
  • most told you to just choose one 
  • but you were determined to get your film & directing degree while maintaining your channel 
  • you felt so blessed to have almost two million subscribers with the four years you’ve done youtube, and at your age 
  • even tho it’s summer break and no college, you are swarmed with youtube events and get a ton of emails everyday 
  • after replying to many, one stands out 
  • no mother effing way 
  • PLEDIS???? 
  • what the heck did you do 
  • "blah blah blah we believe your soulmate is part of our company and we’d love it if you come for the week blah blah blah" 
  • your scream was probably heard by the entire floor but you don’t care 
  • you quickly type and answer back saying you would be free the upcoming week, 
  • your excitement was practically oozing out the message but hello your about to meet your fluffing soulmate 
  • the wait was a total b tho 
  • and so was packing 
  • you couldnt ignore your youtube duties as you post two videos a week in the summer and do daily ish vlogs 
  • so you had to pack all your equipment along with your regular things 
  • while you vlog your trip to korea you simply tell your subscribers it’s simply a business/vacation trip 
  • your plane arrives late at night and drive isnt short so by the time you arrive at pledis, you’ve already fully freaked yourself out 
  • you think it’s probably just some company worker but it’d be really cool if you like walk pass one of svt’s studios or maybe even catch them practicing??? 
  • you really enjoy svt’s music and think they all have so much talent 
  • you haven’t really gotten into them yet due to your busy schedule but you listen to their music 
  • a staff member is waiting for you at the front and you make small talk 
  • she sets your luggage to the side and brings you down the hall where you see a huge blown out poster of svt 
  • which they look really cool in
  • "he’s in there,” the staff member leads you to a door than leaves, smiling knowingly
  • you open, introducing yourself, “hello i’m y/n-" 
  • the thirteen boys stare at you with wide eyes and you stare with equally wide eyes back 
  • "ARE ONE OF YOU???” you shriek, hello svt n right in front of you
  • one of the boys gets pushed forward and tumbles 
  • “HII MY NAME IS BOO SEUNGKWAN IM PRETTY SURE WE’RE SOULMATES!!!" 
  • he does wild hand motions towards his neck, where your initials are glowing 
  • you look down where yours are glowing 
  • "YOUR THE SOULMATE WHO’S INITIALS ARE AN ABBREVIATION FOR BULLSHIT. THANKS A LOT" 
  • he looks shocked for a minute but laughs, "YOUR WELCOME”
  • “AHHHHHH!" 
  • all the screaming starts and you both get pushed together into a hug,
  • pulling away, you both laugh at the situation 
  • they all introduce themselves to you, some more loud than others 
  • "HIII MY NAME’S KWON SOONYOUNG AND YOUR WELCOME BC I SHOWED YOUR VIDEO”
  • he immediately gets tackled by the guy seokmin 
  • “LIAR (hoshi’s soulmate) DID!!!" 
  • "HEY HEY Y/N SEUNGKWAN ALWAYS WATCHES YOUR VIDEOS AND HE REALLY LIKES YOU!!!" 
  • seungkwan’s ears turn red and his face gets defensive 
  • "YAHH-" 
  • "awe you cutie~ i listen to svt and i really like your music" 
  • seungkwan blushes and the members turn silent 
  • until jeonghan smirks and asks 
  • "who’s your bias, you dont have to lie" 
  • everyone looks at you expectantly 
  • you wrap you arm around seungkwan’s waist, shocking him, and grin
  • "ayeee what kind of question is that, mr. boo seungkwan of course" 
  • they immediately begin protesting, teasing seungkwan 
  • in the mist of this, seungkwan wraps an arm around you shoulder, with your arm still around his waist 
  • he looks at you with a shy smile making you giggle
  • "okay so who’s the best looking?” you get asked 
  • in the corner of your eye, you notice seungkwan’s smile become just the tiny bit smaller 
  • “who else is there, all of you are ugly besides seungkwan” you playfully stick your tongue out at them 
  • “YAH HOW OLD ARE YOU PUNK!" 
  • they start teasing both you and seungkwan now 
  • you feel a hand grabbing you hand and pulling you out the room 
  • "come on, let’s go eat all the chicken in the other room" 
  • "ooh okay ill remember to lock the door" 
  • you both sprint hand in hand to the room down the hall 
  • from behind you, you hear,
  • "YAH!! i heard that seungkwan!!" 
  • he looks at you with lowkey panicked eyes 
  • "hurrrryyyyy”
  • “for the chicken” you smile 
  • he stifles a loud laugh at he closes the door to the room and you lock it
  • “we need to eat as much as we can before they find a key" 
  • you both stuff a chicken wing your own mouths and laugh 
  • "you got something there" 
  • you almost roll your eyes at the cheesy line, ‘like really dude lmao’ 
  • licking your lips you ask, "did i get it" 
  • "no" 
  • faster than you can process, he picks up another wing and smothers it around your mouth and cackles 
  • "YAH!!" 
  • by the time the others got the key you and seungkwan were in serious need of some face wash

Originally posted by misckpop


The Seventeen Soulmate AU Series:

|| Seungcheol / Pt. 2 || Jeonghan / Pt. 2 || Joshua / Pt.2 || Jun / Pt.2 || Hoshi / Pt.2 || Wonwoo || Woozi / Pt.2 || Seokmin / Pt.2 || Mingyu / Pt.2 || Minghao || Seungkwan || Vernon / Pt.2 || Dino ||

MASTERLIST

~ admin seri

Health class- Kurt Wagner x Reader part One

Requested: yes
A/N: I’m totally doing more to this. I’m sorry if its short, I’m backed up on requests for Kurt. I need some of the others.
Word count: 432
_______
It was a normal school day and of course, being a teenager, you were required to take health class. After you took your seat, you noticed a very uncomfortable looking Kurt Wagner trying to situate his tail as Scott giggled. Today’s lesson was about a more promiscuous topic, sex. You were dressed in comfortable clothes and a lot of students murmured about how this was probably jean and Scott’s fault.

Yes. Because not everyone gets laid, right? You were being sarcastic, even in your head, which earned a smile from Jean, even if it wasn’t out loud. “Thanks, (Y/N) ” her voices was soft in your own head before you nodded quickly,looking up to the front of the room in time to see Charles holding out a condom. Out of the packaging. Almost instantly, your cheeks were pink and you glanced away as he rattled off that the condoms were to be used so there wouldn’t be any crying tiny baby mutants around here since we were all basically children still. Charles then turned to Scott directly, “and I expect theses to be tied and thrown away properly, not everyone needs to know about your sex, Summers”.

Yep. Its Scotts fault. Your mind basically yelled and jean laughed before you seen Kurt shift awkwardly out the corner of your eyes. “ its not funny Jean! You’re all like my children and I know you will experiment, but please stop experimenting each others bodies!” Xavier sighed loudly. You looked up. Just was blushing a dark purple at you and once he caught you, he looked away quickly.

Of course he’s uncomfortable, he was pretty much the most innocent person you’ve ever met and right now,Kurt wasn’t thinking so innocently and it was a total shock to him and the other telepathic mutants that could hear him. You however, weren’t telepathic. You were pretty damn flexible, and that’s where most of Kurt’s dirty thoughts went, straight to your mutation. But he didn’t mean it! He thought, no, he definitely meant it.

As soon as class was over, there was an all too familiar BAMF and black sulfuric smoke, Kurt was gone. He didn’t feel like facing you at the moment to say that he wanted to have sex with you, not only that, but he was completely for saving himself for marriage and wasn’t entirely sure that someone as amazing as you would want him. He had to take care of problems, and he knew, he just knew that Jean also knew his reasons to leave. He just hoped she wouldn’t tell anyone.

6

[TianShan Week]

Day 3: Hunger

…a need for dumplings noodles!

Wow, look at all that dialogues– It’s scattered everywhere lol ^_^; I didn’t have time to draw so many panels so I hope it’s isn’t too confusing to read!

I wasn’t supposed to spend so much time on this but I really wanted to do a good job at it– ”Look ma, cleaner lineart!” XP I have added two extra panels. I was going to skip the “dumplings” part but I thought it was pretty funny so it had to be in there! :P

I haven’t really started Day 4 at all, I’ve only just finished this now! X_x Oh man, I don’t think I can keep up at all lol– I’m feeling very tired, staying up doing these so I’m considering skipping some~ There’s not enough hours in a day… TT_TT