i just think its pretty funny

It’s been like a decade, but I still think of my AP US History textbook, sometimes. There were some pretty funny little asides and such within the text, but my favorite has got to be in describing the lead up to the Civil War thusly: “Slavery had become the cancer in the bosom of the South.” I just. That phrasing is so perfect.

i know it’s kind of a meme in the fandom that viktor thought making A SCENE and greeting yuuri naked in japan but i think that was completely unintentional? which makes it even funnier imo?

allow me to explain

i don’t know exactly how long after yuuri’s video went viral that this scene happens, but it’s safe to say that at least a couple of days passed? perhaps a week or a bit more, even though the anime makes it look like it’s on the next day?

so he’s been avoiding the media for days, keeping his phone off so absolutely nobody’s going to be able to reach him until people forget about this madness 

which means he’s also entirely clueless about the rumors of viktor being his coach

and it makes it so much funnier because we know yuuri’s dad doesn’t know jack shit about figure skating, and viktor doesn’t know how to speak japanese AND IT WAS PROBABLY TOSHIYA WHO FIRST TALKED TO VIKTOR WHEN HE ARRIVED AT YU-TOPIA?

TOSHIYA IF YOU’D ONLY GET INTO YOUR SON’S ROOM, LOOKED AROUND AND DID THE MATH YOU WOULD KNOW

so what has happened was probably something like “i have no idea what you’re saying mr. foreign-dude but you’re probably here for our famous onsen so yes make yourself comfortable” which viktor, tired as fuck from his travel (a long ass flight from st. petersburg to tokyo, probably? plus the train from tokyo to hasetsu?) GLADLY ACCEPTS

hell yeah i’m going to enjoy the fuck out of his hot spring

since yuuri is nowhere to be seen why not take some time to relax after a long travel, am i right

it’s not like viktor would understand if yuuri’s parents were to say “oh yes yuuri is holed up in his bedroom but he’ll come out eventually” so as viktor is pretty sure he found the right place and that yuuri is there he’ll just wait and have a nice soak meanwhile

AND THEN YUURI JUST BARGES INTO THE ROOM WHERE VIKTOR IS BATHING

well, this was not how i had planned this to go but here you are?

AND OF COURSE, STANDING UP WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY BUT VIKTOR BASICALLY INVENTED BEING EXTRA AND… LET ME SHOW YOU MY HOT BOD BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE YOUR ALMOST-EVERYTHING AT THE BANQUET SO I THINK IT’S FAIR YOU GET TO SEE ME NOW AM I RIGHT??? 

in viktor’s mind, yuuri is this extroverted, outgoing party animal he got to know at the banquet and was absolutely mesmerized by, so he probably thinks yuuri’s going to be alright with this extra introduction? also knowing yuuri lives and probably worked at the onsen for a while viktor maybe just assumes he’s probably unfazed by nudity?

oh viktor, little did you know

it just gets funnier the more you look into it

2

I’ve actually had this rolling around in my head for weeks and it was funny when I first thought of it. Sometimes I am self-conscious of my dumb ideas.  

Welcome to the deep end, kid

THE SIGNS AS GUYS I KNOW
  • Aries: TRASH COMPLETE TRASH. He used to be really sweet and was pretty much the king of cute guys two years ago, but now he thinks being a jerk that only talks about having sex with his girlfriend is cool. IT'S NOT FYI
  • Taurus: Really chill and funny, but he gets randomly depressed at times and it makes me sad because this dude deserves to be happy.
  • Gemini: Great fashion sense and he always keeps it 100 percent, nothing more and nothing less. He's honestly one of my favorite people, but we don't hang out much these days. Hmm... sad.
  • Cancer: ALSO TRASH. Passive-aggressive and annoying. He doesn't like to look at himself as the problem and just blaming everything on other people. [Micheal Jordan voice] Stop it, get some help.
  • Leo: ANNOYING AND LOUD. Breaks up friendships too because some people (me) become super petty and annoyed when this person is around that they (me) have to stop talking to one of their best friends for a whole year.
  • Virgo: Comes across as really strange and probably has some weird fetishes, but he's nice so yeah.
  • Libra: Pretentious and douchey. Everyone seems to like this dude for some reason though. I can see why people do sometimes, but then he just does something and I HATE HIM AGAIN. He might be really successful in the future though.
  • Scorpio: Video game nerd, but not smart nerd, ya know? He gets a new crush every other week and has probably liked all my friends at some point in time. But he's super nice and gave me candy once so I'm not a hater.
  • Sagittarius: SUPER FUNNY AND SMART. But always seems to have a crush on someone and it's just sad seeing him try to flirt. I cringe as I type.
  • Capricorn: I LOVE HIM SO MUCH, HE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE (even though he doesn't know I exist oops). HE'S SO TALENTED AND SEXY I COULD DIE. But he seems to not think before he speaks (or tweets in this case) and it makes me sad. (Me: Doesn't know any Capricorn guys, so I write about my celebrity crush lolol)
  • Aquarius: He's probably always high or drunk. BUT still pretty cool... in small doses. If I had to spend more than an hour with this dude I'd probably die.
  • Pisces: Innocent and sweet. He is an innocent child, I will personally fight anyone who tries to corrupt this innocent baby. Ok? Ok.
3

 NCT’s reaction to one of the hardest/fastest girlgroup choreography😂😂

Oh.

That awkward moment when you realize Redwall Abbey is the richest place in the entire Redwallverse.

Things The Abbey Has That Blow Vermins’ Minds:

  • Stained glass windows. Windows that aren’t just a hole in your wall.
  • Fruit trees. All in one place. With several varieties available.
  • Really big well-built stone walls.
  • Fireplaces constructed so the room doesn’t fill with smoke.
  • Actual beds. No seriously. Think about it.
  • A hand-woven tapestry that decorates an entire wall.
  • Multiple ovens.
  • A fish pond. And it’s not just for decoration. But it kind of is.
  • A deep cellar that keeps drinks cool. (That’s like the future.)
  • Stone floors, not dirt floors.
  • An apiary. Just… just go in your backyard and grab some honey. Do it.
  • Wall sconces.
  • Random assorted objects made of metal and not wood. Whoa.
  • Books. Parchment. Quill pens. Ink. More than one of these items each.
  • A well-stocked food and beverage collection.
  • Abbess Germaine’s spectacles. Like, glasses.
  • Legitimate stonework. Decorative gargoyles, statues, etc.
  • Martin’s sword.
  • Furniture. Chairs that are at least mildly comfortable. Cabinets.
  • Two ridiculously huge, shiny metal bells.
  • Soap.
6

[TianShan Week]

Day 3: Hunger

…a need for dumplings noodles!

Wow, look at all that dialogues– It’s scattered everywhere lol ^_^; I didn’t have time to draw so many panels so I hope it’s isn’t too confusing to read!

I wasn’t supposed to spend so much time on this but I really wanted to do a good job at it– ”Look ma, cleaner lineart!” XP I have added two extra panels. I was going to skip the “dumplings” part but I thought it was pretty funny so it had to be in there! :P

I haven’t really started Day 4 at all, I’ve only just finished this now! X_x Oh man, I don’t think I can keep up at all lol– I’m feeling very tired, staying up doing these so I’m considering skipping some~ There’s not enough hours in a day… TT_TT

anonymous asked:

i love the 'my man' headcanon omg tell us more about it! when was the first time alec called magnus that? was it a slip of the tongue sort of thing or said on purpose? what was magnus' reaction to the first time it happened? does magnus ever say "as your man,..." with a tiny smirk on his face as he continues on? omg i swear to god if alec has magnus as "my man" on his phone, im gonna die what a sappy dork

ausdfjasdfa I could talk about this headcanon all fucking day. 

Okay, so the first first time Alec says it, Magnus doesn’t hear him. He’s talking to Izzy. 

“Magnus looks pretty good today,” Izzy said with a smirk while nudging his shoulder. She’s observing 

Alec scoffed, “my man always looks good.” 

And Izzy just raises an eyebrow and laughs at him while he blushes and looks away- but he doesn’t take it back. 

The first time he says it actually TO Magnus was a total slip of the tongue. He 100% saved Magnus in his phone as “My Man” because he’s a disaster romantic dork he just hasn’t really been given the chance to be up until very recently. Also- side note, I just think its super funny that Alec is definitely the more romantic of the two. Like, Magnus thinks he is but his idea of romance is a little bit quirky and Alec is the true traditional romantic. Ngl he 100% has also whispered poetry in Magnus’s ears under the stars on the roof of Magnus’s apartment. 

But the first time Magnus hears it is when Magnus is getting ready to go out. They have reservations at this really nice restaurant that Magnus loves and Alec is super excited to go with him. Anyway, Magnus is wearing this really well-tailored suit, with signature jewelry, and a perfectly tied Winston knot on his bright blue tie that matches the blue eyeliner he’s wearing. 

And Alec just runs his hands up and down the lapels of his jacket (jfc Alec has such a thing for lapels #confirmed). And sort of murmurs to himself, “by the Angel, look at my man.” 

And the second he says it he realizes what he said and he kind of freezes and blushes, but he also has that signature Alec Lightwood Defiant Glare™ just daring Magnus to say something about it. 

“Your man, huh?” Magnus asks. His tone is snarky but his eyes are soft- and one hand reaches to grab one of Alec’s which is still resting on his jacket. 

“Yeah,” Alec says with this super dopey smile and then he raises this challenging eyebrow, “got a problem with that?” 

“Of course not, darling,” Magnus replies. 

And Alec just pulls him in and kiss him, they just barely make their reservation.

Of course, Magnus also uses this against him. Alec is just so weak and soft whenever Magnus refers to himself as his man. Just falls apart, Magnus has one too many arguments by slipping that in. Cheeky bastard. 

Alec is trying to explain why they can’t make out in the Institute but Magnus is kissing down his deflection rune and Alec is this close to cracking. 

“As your man, don’t I get special privileges?” Magnus asks. 

And, as always, Alec always just melts, and is like “yeah- yeah, you do.” 

BUT ALSO! (wow someone please stop me) He also uses it hella to defend Magnus. 

“What the fuck did you just about  my man?” Alec said glaring at a Clave official. Magnus isn’t even here, they’re just making joking comments about the slutty, bisexual, biracial Warlock and Alec won’t have it. 

Normally, if Magnus is around, Alec lets him defend himself because he knows he can. But you’d have to be a damn fool to insult Magnus Bane in front of Alec Lightwood, especially behind that Warlock’s back. 

“I- I-” 

“Don’t you dare talk shit about Magnus again. No one gets away with insulting my man, understood?” 

And the Clave official just shakes in his boots and nods. 


…. Yeah… So this got away from me….. My point is, Alec is just so soft and wants cuddles, and wants to be around his man. And he’s just so super happy that he gets to declare that he’s with a man, a great man, his man, whenever he fucking can. 

Random Starters [ send me one maybe? ]
  • "Do you believe in the tooth fairy?"
  • "I think I'm pregnant. And it's not yours."
  • "I feel like I'm going to puke."
  • "Are you seriously wearing that to the party tonight?"
  • "You need to change that attitude before we leave this house."
  • "I AM NOT CRAZY!"
  • "Stop staring at me like I grew a second head."
  • "Are you drunk or do you just act like that all the time?"
  • "I forgot where I parked my car."
  • "I'm not going to lie to you anymore. I do love you, but I..."
  • "It's only a slice of pie."
  • "I just want to be loved again. Is that so wrong?"
  • "The cat is looking at me funny."
  • "YOUR HOUSE IS ON FIRE!"
  • "I think you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen."
  • "Care to join me?"
  • "I would rather not eat dinner alone."
  • "Did you remember to lock the door?"
  • "How do you live with yourself everyday, doing what you do?"
  • "I don't feel pretty enough for him."
  • "You can do anything you set your mind to."
  • "People say ignorance is bliss, but... I just want to know the truth."
  • "People are stupid today."
  • "I'm in the hospital. Can you come?"
  • "You're act liking I'm in love with you or something."
  • "Go ahead and leave. I'm not going to stop you."
  • "I'm tired of fighting."
  • "I think you need help."
  • "Do whatever you believe in, and I'll support you."
  • "What is it like being you?"
  • Kimberly: Why won't you ever hold my hand? If it's not your thing that's fine but you love cuddling so I don't think that's the issue.
  • Trini: You can't laugh. Cause I want to but... Just don't laugh.
  • Kimberly: I promise.
  • Trini: You make my palms sweat.
  • Kimberly: ...
  • Trini: Thank you for not laughing.
  • Kimberly: *smirks* Seriously, you're worried about getting my hands sweaty?
  • Trini: It's not funny and don't say whatever sexually explicit thing you are thinking right now.
  • Kimberly: It's pretty funny considering last night we generated a fair amount of sweat. *wiggles eyebrows suggestively*
  • Trini: Kim!

anonymous asked:

Shane's video: conspiracy theory that they're in a relationship. He brings up "uma thurman watched me have sex" with phil's old poster in his room, then there's a screenshot with "exposure editing" that shows them kissing in a halloween gaming video when lights are off and then the formspring where dan says interrupted by fireworks reminds him of phil. THEN shane straight up says he thinks they’re not in a relationship and are just fucking with the fans cuz they think it's funny. yikes

i can’t believe i even have to deign this with a response but i feel a slight responsibility to do so, so here it goes.

first, do not click on this video or watch it if you can avoid it. a large part of the motivation to even broach a topic like this in this way is for attention and to stir drama. don’t play into the blatant attempt at exploitation and justgive this video a pass. the summary above is pretty comprehensive from what i can tell.

second, i do think there is a difference between someone with the platform that shane has making a video like this and viewers of dnp discussing their own opinions on dnp’s status in their own forums. shane has a public audience. shane has influence. shane is, on paper, a colleague of dnp. digging up old tweets and fs screenshots that have since been deleted and essentially making fun of them in front of a large audience is a pretty lowly thing to do.

third, accusing two people of blatant manipulation of their audience is an even more lowly thing to do. this has been such a shift in tone for people who seek to “debunk” the idea of dnp’s romantic involvement. instead of ridiculing or deriding fans for delusional thinking, many people in recent months have instead shifted targets to instead accuse dnp of lying, manipulation, and exploitation for profit and for fun. that’s not a casual claim to make. it implies that dnp have taken some sort of pleasure out of lying on an enormous scale over many years and that they continue to do so in order to drive speculation about their private lives and, in so doing, drive consumer interest in their brand. it’s a weighty allegation with enormous moral implications and what it really seeks to do, make no mistake, is place pressure on dnp to clear the air. either come out/confirm their status explicitly or sit quietly while people accuse them of despicable motivations and actions left, right, and center. those accusations are one thing from viewers. they take on a totally different weight when they’re put forward by someone who is a colleague with an audience of hundreds of thousands, and potentially millions.

pressuring anyone w a non-het orientation or anyone in a non-het relationship to out themselves (and otherwise submit themselves to being accused of these lowly forms of mass manipulation) is a shit thing to do. while i will always advocate for critical thinking and holding powerful public figures to account, neither d nor p have ever done anything to suggest that a large part of their public presence in the last decade has been founded on intentionally crafted lies and deceit for their own gain. they’ve instead shown every sign of being two people whose connection with one another is something they cherish and seek to protect from public scrutiny. this video was grossly irresponsible and, whether or not it was intended to be so, the effects of it are malicious and totally unwarranted.

anonymous asked:

Funny how reynos go running to comfort some white bitch whos celebrated Finn's getting hurt. You don't call out racism in your fandom but you'll run to comfort them when they get called out. I just think it's funny :))

Let’s go through your message, anon.  

First, yes I did comfort a fellow Reylo recently.  I’m assuming you are talking about @coupdefoudrey , who received some pretty vile Anti-Semitic messages recently.  What you and your friends did isn’t calling out, it’s harassment.

Second, I comforted her because I value her feelings because unlike Finn, she’s a real person.  This is something you and your little group of victim playing sociopaths forget when you go to avenge imaginary slights against imaginary characters. 

Third, I have yet to see an incident of racism not addressed in this fandom.  In fact, for the longest time, many people would rush to attack a person when what they did was not intentional and was the cause of being from a different culture.  I am honestly proud of Reylos for taking a step back from the callout culture and attempting to educate rather than eviscerate. 

I’m not sugar coating this next part; every single one of you and your anti friends are sociopaths.  You take pleasure in harming real people under the delirious reasoning of helping.  If you wanted to help people, you would spend your time doing productive things.  You could volunteer to work with disadvantaged children, walk shelter dogs, raise money to donate to real victims of abuse if you truly wanted to help.  Hell, you could make content for your own ship and be far more productive than you are now.   Instead, you and your sociopathic friends spend their free time circle jerking to something that supposedly triggers them.  Each one of you competing to cum the hardest while shouting all the ways an imaginary ship has victimized you personally.  You and your friends are so completely pathetic and your lives are absolutely disgraceful.  

Your parents should be ashamed of the monsters they have raised, ones that believe it is okay to threaten real people over imaginary characters.  What you are doing isn’t because of immaturity from youth or from mental illness.  All of you are just horrible assholes who lack empathy because you were raised to believe that everything you think and feel is incredibly important.  You truly believe that the importance you personally place on a fictional character is more important than someone else’s mental health and therefore have the right to send them threats and Anti-Semitic messages.  You derive pleasure from harming real people and I worry for the safety of the people around you.

Since we are talking about things we find funny, I think it’s hilarious that you would reach out to me over this matter and expect me to address it in any other way than what I just did.  Now if you will excuse me, I have to finish editing stories for a Reylo project that is coming out soon and am very busy.  Since you obviously have nothing productive to do, I would offer for you to come help me, but from your original message, we both know your editing abilities are not up for such a task.  

jedileiaorgana  asked:

top five things you love about finn!

oh boy… here we go. 

1. he’s literally just… so nice?? he’s so friendly and encouraging to rey, immediately gets along with poe, and that part where he calls leia “ma’am”??? pure. blessed. 

2. he isn’t a pushover, though. finn stands up for himself and isn’t afraid to bite back when someone lashes out at him. he stands his ground and commands the attention of others when he speaks- its no wonder he was on course to becoming a respected leader in the first order! 

3. in spite of his upbringing, finn has a strong sense of right and wrong. he has seen true evil at the hands of the first order, and yet he internalizes none of that as acceptable behavior. after his first battle, he decides that he can’t kill innocent people. his FIRST BATTLE. 

4. i think it’s worth mentioning how handsome and funny and adorable he is?? his smile is so radiant and his eyes are so pretty?? finn just oozes charisma and there’s no way any of you can convince me that people won’t be falling in love with him right and left at the resistance base. 

5. he is so, so brave and selfless. its funny because despite all his talk about wanting to run away, despite how obviously scared he is, finn does the exact opposite. when their ship crashes on jakku, finn rushes to the wreckage hoping that poe had survived the crash. when rey is attacked by unkar plutt’s cronies, finn runs to aid her despite not even knowing her yet. finn returns to maz’s palace as soon as he senses the destruction of the hosnian system and fights the first order, even after he’d sworn to run away and never look back. he runs after rey, screaming her name, as she’s captured on takodana. he lies his way on to starkiller base to rescue her and is the first person to ever come back for her. people like to call him cowardly because he’s afraid, yet i believe he’s one of the bravest- if not THE bravest- characters i’ve ever seen. he acts in spite of his fear to do what’s right. he would put himself through hell for the people he loves and that? that makes him a hero. 

* note that these aren’t in any particular order bc i just love finn so much

thank you so much for asking me this because i got to think about finn exclusively for ten minutes while i wrote this and already my day is infinitely better. 

ask me about my favorite things and i’ll give you my top five ____!

Health class- Kurt Wagner x Reader part One

Requested: yes
A/N: I’m totally doing more to this. I’m sorry if its short, I’m backed up on requests for Kurt. I need some of the others.
Word count: 432
_______
It was a normal school day and of course, being a teenager, you were required to take health class. After you took your seat, you noticed a very uncomfortable looking Kurt Wagner trying to situate his tail as Scott giggled. Today’s lesson was about a more promiscuous topic, sex. You were dressed in comfortable clothes and a lot of students murmured about how this was probably jean and Scott’s fault.

Yes. Because not everyone gets laid, right? You were being sarcastic, even in your head, which earned a smile from Jean, even if it wasn’t out loud. “Thanks, (Y/N) ” her voices was soft in your own head before you nodded quickly,looking up to the front of the room in time to see Charles holding out a condom. Out of the packaging. Almost instantly, your cheeks were pink and you glanced away as he rattled off that the condoms were to be used so there wouldn’t be any crying tiny baby mutants around here since we were all basically children still. Charles then turned to Scott directly, “and I expect theses to be tied and thrown away properly, not everyone needs to know about your sex, Summers”.

Yep. Its Scotts fault. Your mind basically yelled and jean laughed before you seen Kurt shift awkwardly out the corner of your eyes. “ its not funny Jean! You’re all like my children and I know you will experiment, but please stop experimenting each others bodies!” Xavier sighed loudly. You looked up. Just was blushing a dark purple at you and once he caught you, he looked away quickly.

Of course he’s uncomfortable, he was pretty much the most innocent person you’ve ever met and right now,Kurt wasn’t thinking so innocently and it was a total shock to him and the other telepathic mutants that could hear him. You however, weren’t telepathic. You were pretty damn flexible, and that’s where most of Kurt’s dirty thoughts went, straight to your mutation. But he didn’t mean it! He thought, no, he definitely meant it.

As soon as class was over, there was an all too familiar BAMF and black sulfuric smoke, Kurt was gone. He didn’t feel like facing you at the moment to say that he wanted to have sex with you, not only that, but he was completely for saving himself for marriage and wasn’t entirely sure that someone as amazing as you would want him. He had to take care of problems, and he knew, he just knew that Jean also knew his reasons to leave. He just hoped she wouldn’t tell anyone.

Band kids do the weirdest things

So at every competition, during awards our captains have this dance that they do on the field while waiting. Its literally just air thrusting. And every time, at least one band joins in. We’ve gotten our whole band to do it. Its literally just a bunch of high schoolers air thrusting. Its a tradition at this point it’s been going on for years.

We had an old snowman prop from a show just sitting in the copy room. A tuba player entered the copy room and turned the lights off. Everyone heard him moaning, the lights were turned on and he’s jerking off frosty’ nose.


People printed a bunch of pictures of our band director out and hung them up all around the band room. No reason, just because.

Feel free to add more stories!
things cis people say

“wait ur nonbinary? I thought you were trans!”
“But using your pronouns are hard!!”
“Cis is a slur!!!”
“I hate those trans people who always make a fuss!”
“Is that a man or a woman? *uses it/its*”
“I’m alright with trans people, I just hate those fake genders”
*Insert 500 transphobic jokes*
“They’re just jokes oh my god! You’re so sensitive”
“Lmao men in dresses are so funny”
“But what if a man says he’s a woman and sneaks into the bathroom to assault people”
“you’re pretty cute for a trans man/woman”
“which bathroom do you use”
“what’s in your pants”
“are u pre op?”
“How do you have sex?”
“so technically you’re a (insert assigned gender)”
“So she- well, she thinks she’s a boy but I’ve known her for a long time so it’s okay”
“I’ve never met a trans before !!”
"i can misgender you cos you’re a cunt”
“you’re not even trans”
“But you don’t look trans!”
“I wouldn’t date a trans, I’m just not attracted to them”
“i identify as a dog LOL !!!”
“transgendered”
“down with trans”
“Cisphobia is just as bad as transphobia”
“how can you hate someone just for being transphobic?”
“down with cis is harmful”
“dysphoria cant be that bad”
“down with hate”
“I’m not transphobic my sister’s friend’s cousin’s nephew is trans!”
“You transgenders will say anything’s transphobic”
“im not transphobic i thought i was trans 
"are you sure you’re not just butch?”
“you’re too young to know your’re trans!”
“you’re too old to know you’re trans!”
“why is being trans suddenly a trend?”
”*t-slur*“
"i can say that i have a trans friend”
“this is (birthname) she thinks she’s a boy!”
“oh she’s playing dress up”
“i’ve never dated a trans but i’m up for experimenting”
“i can say that i have a trans friend”

just some thoughs on the “new character” sihlouette of Sonic Forces

  1. its not Bubsy, of course XD but it’s sihlouette looks too much like that due to their head shape and because the kind of body it has and its just funny to joke about it.. (although it’s already getting old X’D )
  2. i highly doubt its Blaze or Shadow XD
  3. it looks pretty classic styled, his hands and feet proportions look less big than a modern styled character.
  4. it has pointy ears and it looks like it has a tail but that’s still not something for sure; people think it could be a cat or a wolf
  5. if this is going to be a character customization thing i don’t think that would be that bad and it kinda would fit with the “join the resistance” thing…
  6. and yet this is still just speculation.  º3º
  7. still if its just a new character, i hope is a lovely one :)