i just sort of blurted it out

Today I walk into work and there are a ton of people in my building and it’s kind of a mess and everyone is talking and I sort of just blurt out:

“Man, it’s a zoo in here!”

Everyone stopped and looked at me as though I had 2 heads.

Then I realized.

I work at a zoo.

Hogwarts Headcannons
  • Give me Dean, muggleborn that he is, imitating Steve Irwin in Care of Magical Creatures class, much to everyone's confusion except for Harry and Hermione who are. On the ground. Unable to breathe. And refusing to explain why.
  • Give me Harry, demisexual that he is, realizing that the reason he can't stop obsessing over Draco is because Draco is the one who saw - and subsequently disliked - 'Harry', and not The Boy Who Lived. Realizing that Draco was the only one to first talk to him for HIM, in that robe shop, and not his parents or fame (because even Ron and Hermione did that at first). And thus, leading to him randomly starting crying in the middle of lunch and claiming he's doomed, much to everyone's fear.
  • Give me Seamus, pyro that he is, super happy one Christmas when Hermione buys him a book on fire caution, flammable materials, and elements such as magnesium. Thus afterward, the mysterious fires that have always happened are far more safe and controlled.
  • Give me Luna, wonderful airhead that she is, being stared at as, calm as anything, she waltzes right into the Slytherin common room and starts talking to the mermaids like its absolutely normal. A first year drops a book he's staring so hard, because HOW DID SHE KNOW THE PASSWORD. Draco just sighs, gets up, goes over to her, and offers her tea.
  • Give me Draco. Who looks on as Neville offers Harry rhubarb pie that he made himself, as Harry stares forlornly at his Treacle Tart, and makes and annoyed sound. "Dammit Longbottom he hates bittersweets." The Slytherins stare and Pansy just mutters "How do you even know these things. Merlin, help him realize."
  • Give me Parvati, who is being constantly mistaken for her sister by Ron, who panics and screams "IM A LESBIAN" when it gets to be too much.
  • Give me Ron, who stares wide-eyes from a distance whenever he sees Padma from that moment on for a full week, until Padma flips out too and hexes him. Parvati awkwardly wonders why Ron starts getting scared whenever she tries to approach from then on, since she knows Ron doesn't have problems due to that sort of thing from how he handles Harry.
  • Give me the thirty or so of the school's Muggle-raised, who made the mistake of showing their folks howlers, and react accordingly whenever one of the families sends one that is just a recording of Rick Astley, or High School Musical, or spoilers for Doctor Who. And the Wizard-raised just... staring... in fear... watching their savior and multiple other students as they run around screaming and crying in an absolute panic for some reason even though it was a different student that got the weird howler.
  • Give me Harry, whose hair surprises people by being dark red like his mother's when in direct sunlight. And usually at the Weasley den they're inside, but one day Harry joins them outside for a picnic, and Molly is so confused about where Harry went to then has do do a mental tally of her children.
  • Give me George, who in the midst of the final battle, hit Lucius with an Anaticula curse, so that every spell he tries makes a duck instead. And the Death Eaters are just so confused. "Lucius... is that a duck?"
  • Give me the Gryffindor common room. The new first years suggest Monopoly for game night. The entire room goes dead silent. One first year tries to ask what they did wrong. "Never mention that game again," is the only response they get. "But why-" "NEVER TALK ABOUT SIXTH YEAR. WE NEVER TALK ABOUT SIXTH YEAR." Their brave upperclassman Neville yells, trembling. Hermione starts crying. Harry goes into a panic attack. Ron whispers, "There are many reasons we don't talk about sixth year. If The Incident had been the only thing that happened, we would only not talk about The Incident. Many things happened that year. Thus, we do not speak of that year, or of that game."
  • Give me McGonagall, who struggles to control the cat population, because while students are told to have their cats fixed you know not all 100 students that brought cats did so. Her curling up around a litter that lost their mother to illness. Training them to stalk the corridors. Albus had his ways of getting information, and hers is the spy network of cats.
  • Give me muggleborns singing everything from Phantom of the Opera to Katy Perry in the corridors. Singing We Will Rock You to a pureblood who disses them for it. The purebloods thinking the weird songs and their tunes are some kind of Rite of Passage and fleeing whenever a muggleborn student starts singing. Altering song lyrics. "I throw my ferret in the air some-times, singin EEEEEEEYO, this is DRAAAAAACO!"
  • Give me muggleborns that are really confused about the whole quill instead of pens things, throwing transfigured pokeballs in Care of Magical Creatures, the band students bringing kazoos and harmonicas and the wizrd-raised students that are just so confused as to how those things even work, because it must be some sort of air magic, right??
  • Give me muggleborns making entire conversations out of pop culture references specifically to confuse some Slytherin who just called one girl a Mudblood. "These are not the droids you were looking for." "I'm right on top of that now Rose, I promise." -jazz hands-
  • Give me muggleborns with Patronus that are things like Pikachu, velociraptors, the quiet Canadian transfer student with a moose patronus the size of a SMALL HOUSE, the one whose is a angeled-out Castiel, the one whose patronus is the democrat donkey and another the republican elephant and the two, previously best friends, become mortal enemies rivaling the fame of Harry and Draco.
  • Give me muggleborns hugging each other before break, promising to 'call' each other, trading weird codes, how they can't wait to go for 'sushi' or planning that trip together to 'disneyland' where they can go flying?? But no one's allowed magic?? Or flying?? And the wizard-raised think that somehow, shockingly,<i> these children totally new to our world have developed a way to cheat the system?? Muggleborns are badasses!!</i>
  • Give me muggleborns who are fully aware that the anti-tech wards were made when, like, radios barely even existed, much less cellphone towers and microprocessors, so while they can't turn them on inside the stone school walls there's this group that Harry joins constantly that just sit there in silence staring at these tiny things and sometimes randomly laughing hysterically, and every now and then standing and just running all the way across to the other side of the lake all at the same time with no signal whatsoever. The purebloods are <i>terrified</i> of this frequent happening.
  • Give me Harry, Hermione, Dean, and Justin from the D.A, muggleborns they are, doing a movie night every week to help the D.A. relax and bond. They re-start this after the battles, during eighth year, with several other people such as the returned Slytherins joining in. The entire year they play things like Tangled, The Breakfast Club, Brave, Lion King. But then the last four weeks, they announce they don't want to mislead everyone that everything is all fun and rainbows. The last four movies are My Sister's Keeper, The Shining, Marley and Me, and for the last week, a marathon of the entire Jurassic Park series.
  • Give me Hufflepuffs, who secretly are very relieved to be the 'normal' House. Jocks over there, know-it-alls over there, goth wannabees over there, now lets go camp out by the kitchens we're gonna need it to survive the next seven years like this.
  • Give me Ravenclaws who are so done with the riddles when they stumble back at midnight after having fallen asleep in the Library. "What's the truth?" "THE TRUTH IS THAT I WILL SET YOU ON FIRE IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN."
  • Give me the Trio, who use the Marauder's Map to find the most absolutely ridiculous routes to class, knowing every single one of the shortcuts. It's not odd for them to simply appear out of the ceiling. One day the new first years try to follow them, to learn the school better, but it doesn't go so well because then they try to go through a disappearing wall the Trio just did they instead run headfirst into it, and the next time they do behind a tapestry, down a waterside, around some sort of tower, causally past an entire doorless room full of bats, and somehow come out on the complete other side of the castle.
  • Give me Draco whose just completely had it with Harry's staring and confronts him, like they always do, and Harry just blurts out that he likes Draco's new haircut and can he touch his hair, and Draco so shocked he lets him. "Potter stop treating me like a cat I'm evil remember? Bloody hell have you gone daft?!" "But... it's soft..." "I hate you." But he just can't find any anger over this, so there's like no venom whatsoever in it and Harry can't stop giggling.
  • Give me Ginny, who can't stop giggling as Luna confuses the fuck out of an entire crowd with her way of speaking, and who during seventh year could 100% get away with insulting the Death Eaters because of the way she said things. Who after Luna used said tactic to get her out of a Crucio punishment just clung to Luna, shaking, and realizing that she loves Luna so much for this very reason. That there will never be another person like Luna in her life, ever.
  • Give me Harry, who was not really well educated while living at the Dursleys, who couldn't read very well but was wonderful at sneaking around, little tricks like hiding things, and loved music. He taught himself magic tricks, and MERLIN ALMIGHTY THIS 11 YEAR OLD KID HAS MASTERED VANISHING SPELLS, WHAT, HOW, and Percy, uptight prefect he is, just looses it.
  • Give me Ron walking in on Harry talking to some random snake in their dorm room, laughing like the snake said a particularly good joke, tipping his head and smiling as he responds, the python slowly curling up his arm to rest over his shoulder. Ron freezes, stares, and then slowly backs away, closes the door and stands there staring at it for a full half hour in absolute horror.
  • Give me the rest of the D.A. walking into the Room of Requirement and hearing screaming, Dean shrieking that he's going to murder someone, Hermione crying, Justin cursing like a sailor yelling for everyone to stop, and the rest panic and run around the corner and there the four Muggle-raised students are. With some sort of odd device in their hands. Playing Mario Kart.

Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career.
Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.

“I don’t even know who he is, Niall! I just want to know his name or some - ” 

“So why do you keep fucking blushing while talking about him!” 

“You know what, fuck off! I’m gonna find him myself!”

or, The morning after his party Harry wakes up naked on his bed, and there is a Polaroid photo of a stranger right beside him. Harry wants to know who is this tiny little boy that has soft fringe and a smile from heaven. He has endless hope.

The study was to see if two strangers could live together for a month and fall in love.
“We are a new organization working to prove that love can do extraordinary things.”
“You will do everything together & you are not allowed to leave the resort for the whole month.”
“We want to prove that opposites attract.”
Louis is allergic to peaches, Harry smells like peaches.
Louis just came for the money.

It’s June 2013, and the legalization of gay marriage is the most discussed political issue in the country. As a member of parliament Louis Tomlinson has decided to do everything under his power to keep marriage between a man and a woman. Little does he know a boy with green eyes and pink lips from his past is on a mission to change his mind.

Leaflet for Over Again Inc. 
“In relationships, there are three types of people: those who are happy, those who are unhappy but accept it and deal, those who are unhappy and in denial.Handling this last category is our job: we are professional couple breakers.To reach our goal, we use all means necessary.”

Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up.

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what really gets me about the deepest love thing is how much he actually means it like it’s not corny bullshit meant to oversell their writing process or something, louis says it with such fervent sincerity and he just sort of blurts out “deepest love” like he was looking for the right words to explain his inspiration and deepest love was what came up…i really hate it, it fucks me up, harry is his deepest love

Humans are Weird- Side Effects of Exercising

The other day I convinced myself I would be fit for when school started *not happening btw* and the thing is that after the hard work of trying NOT to die, and sweating LIKE A PIG, I felt awful. 

I began to become dizzy, started to shake and spots began to appear in my eyes. 

 The thing is, we feel as if our muscles tear apart, and then sometimes after, we feel LIKE WE ARE DYING *fml*

After I began to feel like a normal human being, I began to think the alien reaction to this. They would be all concerned and then be so damn confused that exercise is healthy for us. they would be like WTF?? and i can’t stop laughing.

  • The side effects can be pretty damn horrible like I’m dead serious. 

*———————*

The Humans entered the cafeteria, all *laughing* and enjoying each others company. However, Human-Jennifer walked like her limbs didn’t really belong to her and as if each step was a negotiation rather than an order

As she was shuffling past the people, Ligton could make out her discomfort. Her mind was else-where and seems as if she couldn’t  seem to to focus on anything but her desire to sit down. Something was wrong. 

“Human Jennifer, are you injured?” blurted out Ligton, concerned for her well-being. 

You could see the confusion on their faces. How could his question be even more direct?

“As far as i know, I’m fine Lig. Why did you think that?”

“You were limping across the room, and with every step you seemed to wince as if you were suffering some sort of pain

“Oh, it’s just I may have done too much exercise, but don’t worry, I’m fine.”

Is this exercise bad for you?” 

“Nah mate, you just feel like your muscles are tearing apart. But you just get over it” added Human-Liam, with such a tranquility it horrified Ligton. 

“Don’t get me started with how they feel after. Sometimes they’re so sore I can barely even get out of bed.” blurted out Human-Jake

“Guys, don’t you dare complain. After working out, I always feel like shit. I get dizzy, start to shake and even have trouble breathing.” she expressed.  

“I have an explanation for that: you’re a pussy.” said Human-Liam while laughing. 

While Human-Liam & Jake were howling and Human-Jennifer were scolding them for being rude, Ligton could not get a thought out of his head.

How could they have survived?


*—*

Thank you @rightphist for commenting how aliens would react to exercise? on one of my posts :) 

carried on the breeze [you’ll never find me]

inspired by this post from @stranger-who-writes-fiction

kara has flown myriad out into space,

and alex has gone after her in that damn pod. sure, getting the thing to space wasn’t a problem - reentery however was where things were going more than a little screwy. in no seconds flat  alex finds herself in a falling deathtrap with her unconscious sister draped mostly uncomfortably across her.

this pod was not meant for two.

nor, apparently, is it meant for rouge humans hijacking and then flying it, poorly but still functionally, into space to save their superhero little sisters. yet, alex had done it anyway.

and now, well, with the planet rapidly rising up to meet them, alex realizes the steering is gone. realizes that the best she can hope for is sending out some sort of signal and hoping that wherever they landed…the deo finds them first.

too bad it was going to be a water landing. which, god, that wasn’t what alex wants. any type of crash landing would probably kill her on impact, but at least crashing into some sort of land might ensure kara’s survival. kara who is still unconscious.

alex knows she has seconds left to come up with a plan. she’s feeling a little ill, the pod spinning around and with one arm holding kara to her chest, alex is left to crane her neck over her little sisters shoulder just to look at the console.

her eye catches a red button.

under the console, hidden from the normal line of sight - alex has to wonder if red buttons hold the same meaning on every plant. alex has to wonder why she never asked.

[to be fair, it’s an obscure question, but god, alex wishes she’d had  the foresight to see this coming]

what she doesn’t see coming are the clouds, the fog that seems to be way too high in the atmosphere, plunging the pod and the danvers sisters into a grey half light.

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3

Prompt List

Fandom List

Requested By Anon


“That one’s dating Brett.” You heard muttered behind you as you sat watching Brett practise.

“No way, she’s nowhere near as hot as Brett, no way does he like her!” Another voice joined the first and soon there was a slight buzz of chatter among the group sat behind you on the bleachers.

Just when you were ready to go home Brett caught your eye, resting the lacrosse stick over his shoulders as he stared up at you, smiling softly when you didn’t wave or smile at him like you normally would.

“Hey, I thought we were going to watch Brett and study.” Lydia almost yelped when you collided with her.

“I think I just want to go home.” You snuffled and she frowned, glancing over your shoulder where she spotted Brett looking in your direction.

“Why what’s wrong?” She asked quickly, hugging you when you tried not to cry.

“None of the girls here like be because I’m dating Brett and they don’t think I’m good enough.” You took a deep shaky breath and stepped away from Lydia. “I know it’s a stupid thing to get upset about but it sort of gets lonely.”

“You’re Brett’s mate, not them, just walk it off.” She rubbed your arms and smiled when you laughed. “Besides, I bet they couldn’t tackle an alpha.”

“I told you I didn’t mean to trip Scott over!” You sighed, mortified that no one would let it go. “I wish I could transfer but then I’d miss Brett.”

“You belong to me and you need to accept it.” Brett blurted out, making you jump.

“How long have you been standing there?” You asked him as he dumped the stick by his feet and hurried to hug you tightly.

“Long enough to know you needed me.” He said as he nuzzled against you.

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gruntledbananafish  asked:

Hi there! I have a situation and I'm not sure what to do. I just joined a D&D campaign and I'm really enjoying it. However, one of the guys in the campaign made a rape joke in the middle of the session. Everyone kind of ignored it. I don't know the guy super-well so I'm not comfortable talking to him directly, but it really made me feel like shit, especially because I have some personal experiences (which I don't wanna disclose). Should I talk to the DM about this? What do I say?

I can’t tell you what to do, or how to feel in those situations. I can only tell you what I would do.

I would talk to the DM right away, and I wouldn’t apologize for my feelings. This is one of those things that I think is pretty binary: rape jokes aren’t okay, and I don’t want to be around anyone who thinks that they are. If the DM makes excuses or isn’t willing to take your concerns seriously, I would tear my character sheet up right there and leave the group.

The problem isn’t just that this guy thought it was okay to make that joke, but that everyone at the table didn’t have a problem with it. I don’t know how far you want to take it, and what your personal red line is, but I’d talk to the DM first, and then I would ask for a moment at the beginning of the next session to address the group about it.

I would say something like, “I really enjoy this campaign, and I like being part of this group. But the last time we played, I felt really uncomfortable when a rape joke was made at the table, and nobody seemed to have a problem with it. If I’m going to continue to be part of this group, I want you to know that I’m not okay with that. Maybe you don’t know that 1 in 4 women has been sexually assaulted or raped, and maybe you don’t know that when you make those jokes or go along with those jokes, you’re communicating to the women around you that you don’t take it seriously, and that you’re subtly communicating to the men around you that rape and assault isn’t a big deal. Literally every woman I know has been sexually harassed at some point in their lives. More than half have been sexually assaulted, and I know several rape survivors. Rape jokes aren’t funny to me.

“I hope that this was a thing that was just sort of blurted out, that wasn’t considered, that doesn’t reflect your values or who you are. Like I said, I’m having a really good time being part of this campaign, but if this sort of thing is not a problem for you, I can’t be part of this, and I’m ready to leave right now if that’s the case.”

Or something like that. I think you get the gist of what I’m going for. If they minimize your feelings, get up and leave. There will always be other games to play in. If they want to deflect it minimize it, because they’re embarrassed, give them a moment to react, and see if you can engage in dialog about the realities of sexual assault for women.

I always believe that it’s worth making the effort to educate and enlighten someone, but that’s not the only way to deal with these things, but that’s absolutely not your responsibility. Their feelings aren’t your responsibility. What I’m suggesting is that you make it clear that this isn’t funny or acceptable, and that if they think it is, you’re not going to be part of the group. In a perfect world, they’ll sincerely apologize. In a perfect world, they will realize that they hadn’t seriously considered the reality of sexual assault, and they’ll own their actions.

I know that a lot of gamers read this Tumblr, and I know that a lot of women read this Tumblr. Maybe someone else has advice or experience they’d care to share with you.

I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, and I hope that it’s resolved in a way that lets you continue to play in the campaign, and helps these dudes grow a level in humanity.

Something Just Like This

Summary: AU. This is the story of an ordinary couple with an extraordinary love.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,652 (without lyrics)

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, pregnancy, mentions of bullying, illness, and death, song fic style

A/N: This is my oneshot submission for the poetic noble land mermaid @whothehellisbella and her Bella’s Cool Time Summer Jamz Mix Writing Challenge. My song prompt was Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers, Coldplay. I hope you approve and enjoy!

Originally posted by duckybarness

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Home (Sidlink oneshot)

Here’s some more sidlink. This one is really short and fluffy but oh well.

Pairing: Sidlink (prince sidon x link)

Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild

Rating: G

Word Count: 689 (Wow this one is really short sorry.)

Warnings: PDA


Most people just looked at Link strangely whenever he talked about ‘home.’ Out of all the places he had discovered during his travels, why would the Zora Domain be the one he considered ‘home’?

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Not so hypothetically, but actually, a date

aka, what could have happened if Chase’s minions had been so kind as to hold off on their kidnapping spree an extra 24 hours

for my friends on twitter who told me I should write this and know I can’t say no to them :) 

psa: this is unbeta-ed and it’s past my bedtime, so read at your own risk of grammatical errors lol


Felicity opened her refrigerator in search of the leftover takeout she could’ve sworn was still in there somewhere. To her dismay, all she was greeted with was mostly empty shelves. She was not a big grocery shopping person to begin with, and with everything they had been dealing with over the past couple of weeks, she couldn’t remember the last time she pushed a cart through those fluorescent lit aisles.

“How did Oliver manage to be the Green Arrow and keep our refrigerator stocked,” she muttered to herself as she checked a container of yogurt to discover it had expired months ago.

Her eyes caught the box from Oliver’s party the night before and she slid it out, remembering that there had been a few leftover slices of cake. They were on summer break after all, so cake was an acceptable dinner… right?

She was debating eating it straight from the box versus preserving some of her dignity and getting a plate when she remembered that she didn’t have to spend her evening sitting at her counter eating cake alone.

Setting the box down and reaching for her phone, she hit her first number on speed dial and waited while it rang. Which wasn’t a long wait since he picked up before the first ring had finished.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes… Am I only allowed to call when I’m in danger?” she teased.

There was a pause. “Well, no I just—“

“Do you want to come over tonight?” She needed to get the words out before he gave her enough time to talk herself out of it. She could practically see his eyebrow rise in that way it did when she said something that could have multiple interpretations and she hastily added, “There’s just leftover birthday cake and I was about to eat it but I realized that you should probably get dibs on it since it was for your birthday.” And also, I just really want to see you. “I promise this isn’t a ruse. But if you’re busy I understand and—”

“No,” he interrupted her. “No I’m not busy. I’m just finishing up at City Hall and then I can be right over.”

The corners of her mouth flicked up in a small smile at the eagerness he was trying so hard and yet failing to hide in his voice.

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Move, Made.

Muse: Min Yoongi x Reader
Genre: Lots of fluff and the usual pinch of angst!
Word: 3.5k
Type: A friends with benefits AU ─In which one of you falls in love with the other and confesses without saying the three little words. + College AU

Parts: I, II & III

Originally posted by leojuseyo

+You’re in love with your fuck buddy, Yoongi’s best friend, Hoseok. And Yoongi recently made it known that he more than likes you in his bed, naked.

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Summer of Love Chapter 1: Cute

Originally posted by stallingdemons

Masterlist 

Relationships: Peter Parker x fem!Stark!reader, Tony Stark x Reader (father-daughter relationship)

Warnings: Light cussing, tons of fluff :)

Summary: Over the Summer Tony decides to have Peter come to the Avengers facility for a little “Summer camp” to help train him to be a hero. Peter comes ready to become an Avenger, but he didn’t expect to fall in love with with his mentor’s adopted daughter along the way…

A/N: Yes I know another Peter series! Don’t worry I’m still working on Partner’s in (Fighting) Crime, but I’m having a little bit of writers block for it at the moment, and I had this idea rattling around in my head and thought it might be nice to write so I thought I’d give it a shot! Please read and let me know what you think!


“This is so amazing this is going to be the best Summer ever!” Peter exclaims as he runs out of the car and Happy gets his bags out of the trunk of the car. 

“Yeah it sure will be.” Happy grunts and Peter rushes over and helps Happy out with the bags. “A whole Summer spent with you. Good times…” He groans and walks up the steps of the Avengers facility with Peter. 

Peter was practically exploding with excitement and happiness once he was inside. Sure he had been here before and even turned down Tony’s offer to be an Avenger but this was different. He wasn’t being pressured into anything this Summer. He was just going to be training with the team to hone in on his skills a bit more before school started again. He walked by the training facility and looked inside and smiled. 

“Wow…” He says and watches Iron Man and War Machine train in the big room through the window. “This is gonna be so awesome!” He squeals and hops a little bit. Happy sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“What is awesome?” Vision asks and goes through the wall, making Peter scream and jump onto Happy, in turn making Happy scream. 

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boyfriend!mark lee

• adorable laugh
• you never get tired of hearing it !! bc !! it’s !! so !! cute !!
• really precious
• sort of intense
• but only because he really likes you and wants to be open with you
• and it’s his first relationship he doesn’t really know what he’s doing
• always paranoid he’s gonna scare you off
• but it’s ok you feel the same as him

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a really interesting thing about cashiering is the stuff people choose to share about themselves that they absolutely are not required to do. like one time I had a guy ask for paper bags, then immediately follow that up by adding that he’s a paper maker and wants to support other paper makers (aww). or today this lady asked if I could sort of hide some of the things she was buying because they were Christmas presents for her son, then added that she’s pretty sure this year is the last year he’s going to believe in Santa. idk I just think it’s neat how people will blurt out little things about their lives to me. 

I have another au idea but I’m just too lazy to write it right now. But anyway. I wan an au where Calamity Ganon didn’t attack, but Hylians are still very low in numbers. [[Maybe there was a plague that wiped most of them out or maybe the environment is getting harder for them to survive, either way.]] They live in a secluded village, so other races in Hyrule doubt their existence. But one day, Sidon catches a glimpse of Link while he is swimming, so he spends days trying to track down a fabled Hylian.  

He spots Link again a few days later, gathering some water and checking on a fish trap set up in the river. Sidon just observes because he isn’t sure how to proceed. Does he risk trying to greet the Hylian and scaring him off, or does he wait for now??? So Sidon decides to wait and after Link leaves, he examines the fish trap out of curiosity. But right away, Sidon decided to help make it more efficient. The branches are just too far spaced and the fish easily slip through, so Sidon alters the trap just a bit. And then he goes and catches some fish and leaves them in there.

So he waits some more and when Link comes back the next day, it’s so nice to see how amazed Link looks when he discovers several large fish in his traps. Then Sidon decides to start leaving more and more things near the trap on the riverbank. First some flowers and special herbs, then some potions and some fabrics and cloth and layered clothes–honestly what Link is wearing at that point is just thin and very short… 

Eventually, as Sidon returns again late one night to drop off a bundle of more gifts, he hears a whistle from the tree tops and Link just LEAPS down and waves at Sidon. Sidon’s a bit sheepish at being caught redhanded but still thrusts the gifts at Link and blurts out: “HI I’M SIDON. I’ve never seen a Hylian before.” and then I imagine Sidon jumps in the river and swims away. When he is collected enough to return, he spots Link sitting on the edge of the river and he waves for Sidon to come join him.

So then Link and Sidon start bonding and meet daily. Sidon asks Link all sorts of questions about Hylians and offers help in anyway he can: i.e. food, weapons to defend themselves, medicine, etc etc. When he returns back to the Domain, he just rambles on and on to Dorephan. “Father I met a real live Hylian and I love him!!!! 😍😍😍”

“Instagram frightens me,” Bucky said, frowning at the screen on his phone.

Steve peeked at it as he passed by, then took a step backward to give it a good, long look. “…Why are they talking about our pecs like that?”

Natasha perked up from playing on her own phone. “How are they talking about your pecs?”

“Look what you’ve done,” Bucky hissed at the blond, hurriedly pulling his phone to his chest protectively.

Steve shrugged and held hands up helplessly. “Sorry.”

Natasha had already pulled his Instagram up on her phone. “You accepted my request, idiot.”

“Show me how to delete her, Steve,” Bucky ordered, shoving his phone at him.

“Too late–Oh my God.” She began laughing, and it had just an edge of meanness to it. “You guys actually thought posting a picture after one of your runs while your white shirts were saturated with your sweat was a good idea?!” Natasha actually began rocking side to side in her seat, cackling. “I’m dying–oh my God someone help-!”

Bruce walked into the living room and frowned when he saw her laughing. “What happened? Did an enemy meet a hilariously gruesome end?”

“They’re talking about Steve and Bucky’s tits!” Natasha shrieked, and finally rolled off the love seat, she was laughing so hard.

Bruce looked at her a long moment before he said, “Okay.” Then he turned on his heel and left.

Natasha was still laughing, so Steve and Bucky left too, before they had to listen to her tell someone else about how their fans were talking about their chests.


Unfortunately, for the next three days, Natasha burst out laughing every time she saw them, and soon the rest of the team knew about it. Apparently no one actually looked at the comments on their posts anymore since they could only handle so many heart-eye emojis, but they were suddenly willing to bear with it for the hilarious comments.

“Oh God damn it,” Bucky whispered when Sam handed him a plate with two pancakes on it, whipped cream nipples standing nearly as proudly as the other man’s smile.

“Sorry, man,” Sam laughed, not sounding sorry at all.

Steve looked like he might laugh as well, until Sam gave him a plate with the same thing. “Sam.

“What, you thought I wouldn’t make fun of you, too?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow, before brightening when Natasha came in. “Natasha, did you see my masterpieces?”

Natasha looked at them, their pancakes, and then turned around to walk right back out, laughing again.

Bucky bent his fork in half.


Tony had been overseas for a business meeting, so he’d missed everything, and Natasha had finally stopped laughing herself to tears when she saw them. They were pretty sure they would get away with Tony never finding out.

Except Natasha was a huge fucking BITCH.

“Tony, you’re back!” Natasha exclaimed when he walked in, still wearing a rumpled suit.

Tony squinted at her, still jetlagged, but he’d wanted to see everyone before he crashed and slept for eighteen hours. Seeing nothing immediately out of the ordinary, he simply agreed, “Yes.”

She skittered over to where Steve and Bucky were sitting, grinning. “Tony, who do you think has the best tits?”

Steve and Bucky both had the distinct thought ‘I’m going to murder her.’

Tony blinked at her slowly. “…You do.”

Natasha opened her mouth, then closed it. “…That’s so sweet,” she finally decided, actually looking flattered, before she slapped her hands down on each of the men’s shoulders. “But I meant between Steve and Bucky.”

“Oh.” Tony wandered closer, humming thoughtfully as he peered very intensely at their chests.

After a moment, he reached out and cupped Steve’s pecs in his hands, either ignoring or not noticing the way he tensed up and squeaked. Bucky would have made fun of him except he made the same noise when Tony abruptly turned and did the same thing to him. He hummed again, then placed a hand on both of their pecs.

“…I can’t decide,” Tony said, and then did not move away.

They stared at him for a little while, worried, before Steve cautiously said, “Tony?”

Tony jerked as if he’d been shocked. “Huh?” He looked at his hands on both of their chests. “…I need to sleep,” he decided, and gave their chests a pat. “I apologize for molesting you.”

“It’s not molesting if we want it,” Bucky blurted out, and then set his jaw, because what the fuck, brain?!

Tony patted his cheek just a little too hard. “Maybe you need some sleep too.”

Bucky gaped as the other man turned and sort of… tottered away.

“He’s going to fall asleep in the elevator,” Clint said fondly.

Bruce sighed and got up to trot after him. “Tony, let me help you.”

“Be careful, Bruce,” they heard him warn as the doors began to shut. “I’m molesting people.”

“Quite honestly I would prefer that to you stabbing me to see if I’ll turn into the Hulk,” Bruce replied blandly.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest when he noticed Sam grinning at him, blushing. “What?!”

“Tony grabbed your boobs,” Sam said, then burst out laughing. “And he didn’t even notice!”

Steve turned to look at Bucky, frowning. “Do you just wanna leave the country?”

Yes,” he answered immediately and viciously.

“I think,” Natasha said, leaning down to put her face between theirs. “That you’re missing the point.”

Bucky glared at her. “And what point is that, you troublemaker?”

“Tony couldn’t decide which of your chests he likes better,” she explained, as if he was an idiot. “So maybe when he’s not about to fall asleep on his feet, you can offer to let him check again.”

“…I don’t understand why you’re like this,” Steve admitted.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “You’re both hopeless.”

“Seriously,” Clint said, raising an eyebrow. “She gave you the perfect opening to hit on Tony and you’re being too prude to do it.”

“Am not!” Steve answered immediately, because he never liked being told he was too anything, and Bucky got the sinking feeling that Steve was going to march him to Tony as soon as he heard he was awake to do just that.

“Couldn’t we just buy him flowers?” he asked, but Steve had that determined look to him. “Steve please.”

“We can get him flowers and ask whose chest is better,” Steve allowed. “It will be mine, by the way, so you can pick out the flowers.”

Bucky turned to glare at him, appalled. “No way, my chest is way better than yours! You’re gonna be super embarrassed when Tony tells you so, too!”

Natasha rolled her eyes as they began bickering and walked over to flop down next to Sam. “What did we do to get stuck with these idiots?”

“I don’t know about you, but Steve basically harassed me,” Sam replied, shrugging. “Whenever someone says ’on your left,’ I still get irrationally angry.”

Park woojin as your boyfriend

- very shy
- as in, does not dare talk to you or come within a metre of you
- but then you start to notice the small glances he gives you every now and then during lunch in the school cafeteria
- then you decide to start glancing back at him
- and at one point it almost seems like the both of you are having a staring contest…
- anyway, moving past that weird phase, woojin’s friends have had enough of him doting over you
- they decide to set you guys up!!!
- unexpectedly its not awkward at all, you both instantly click finding out you actually have a lot in common
- and what a shock, your both into dance!
- anyway you guys become really good friends and you realise woojin seems to have a habit of drifting off subject…
- “y/n you’re actually kinda cute, you sort of remind me of this cartoon character I’ve forgotten its name… I’m waffling on right?” he blurts this out in the middle of lunch break
- “sort of… But its ok, I actually really enjoy when you do that you look cute when you’re like that.”
- so yeah… That was sort of both of your unofficial confession? But it left you both confused as hell
- after a week or so of awkwardness, woojin decides to take action and drags you all the way to the empty nurses office and coNFESSES sort of…
- “y/n, I just feel that you should know- I mean, maybe you’ve already known, I don’t know but-”
- “park woojin, I feel like if you continue like this we’ll be late for class so let’s make it quick. I like you.”
- “I also really like you y/n…”
- loaDS OF BLUSHING
- and yes, your first kiss was in a nurses office…
- awkward and cute, like woojin but over time you both become more confident
- enjoys playing with your hair during make out sessions!
- a lot of cute picnic dates during the warm weather, in which you both debate what type of kimbap to bring
_ “it’s seriously a sin not to bring tuna kimbap to a picnic”
- woojin seems dead serious, and you on the other hand cannot contain your laugh and so you decide why not have both
- intertwining his fingers with yours is something he does often and he doesn’t really care if your hands are sweaty
- you forget how tall he is in comparison to you, so when you suggest taking a picture it becomes more apparent…
- lmao only the top part of your head appeared in his selfie and that wAS you on your toes
- your shy with skinship in public at first but you both steadily become confident
- he enjoys wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck when there is no one looking
- “you guys are gross”
- that was something daehwi said often whenever he’d spot you guys hugging or just in general being near each other
- “you’re just salty because you haven’t found someone to love yet” a series of laughter followed at woojins remark
- all jokes aside, that was the first time woojin associated you with the word love
- and there would soon be more to come
- in the middle of a commercial break he all of a sudden turns to you
- “I want to tell you something so just ignore the chicken advert… I didn’t plan to say it like this but I just couldn’t help it- I love you.”
- intense staring!!!
- “park woojin, I love you too.”
- and let me just say his smile and hIS TOOTH, soon enough he has you wrapped around his arms
- so yes, you both said ‘I love you’ with a chicken advert playing in the background…
- woojin being happy makes you happy, and he feels the same about you
- but a relationship also comes with downs
- he trusts you enough not to get too jealous but today just didn’t seem to be a great day
- it was a party and you were both looking hot, woojin in all black and you in a tight dress
- “did you see the way he was looking at you- he even asked for your number and you’re wondering why I’m annoyed”
- “so you don’t trust me? You seriously think I would give him my number, how little faith do you have in me- in our relationship?”
- a lot of hurtful remarks, screaming and crying from both you and woojin
- by 1am your both exhausted from arguing and the neighbours sure as hell are
- “I’m sorry i made you cry, and I’m sorry about how I’ve acted. I trust you, y/n, it’s just that I’m a dick sometimes and-”
- you cut him off with a kiss
- “I probably shouldn’t have cut you off but I don’t want to hear you talk negatively about yourself, I love you and you should realise that i only want you…”
- you start to fall asleep in his arms until you are awoken by the sound of his voice, deep and hardly hearable, woojin was going on about cats and advantages and disadvantages of having them as a pet
- surprise!
- week later he buys a cat from the shelter named and you both decide on naming her sunny
- “yah, y/n! Is it me or sunny?”
- “hehehehehehehe, my first choice will always be sunny”
- woojin then proceeds to tickle you until you change your choice to him, sunny on the other hand only looks on in disgust at the pair…

Teen Wolf Imagine- What Happened to Y/N? (Part3)

Part1   Part2   Part4

Author’s Note- Guess What’s coming back after pretty much a year, I know I suck. The Third part to this series, HIGHLY SUGGEST reading part 1 and 2 if you already have because I’ve made slight alterations and it’s going to get complicated, enjoy x

Lydia’s Pov

“Look, I’m sorry for not telling you guys sooner. I just didn’t want to break Y/n’s trust” Lydia spoke quietly. “Lyd, you did nothing wrong, she asked you to keep a secret and you stuck to your word” Allison reassured, rubbing her arm for comfort. “How long was it going on for?” Scott asked, pacing back and forth his livingroom.”Not very long, a few months maybe” she answered truthfully. “Are you sure you want to hear about this?” Stiles asked, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “No, but if it means finding my sister I’ll do anything” he stated. “She didn’t mean to tell me- it just kind of slipped out one day” she began. Scott let out a small sigh, and flashed her a sympathetic smile. “I’m not angry at you, and I don’t think it’s your fault in the slightest. I just need to know all the possible facts to try and find her” Scott crouched beside her, sensing the guilt and upset radiating from her. She nod her head slowly and gave a weak smile back, as tears began to well in her eyes. She had been holding onto them for so long that they chose that exact moment to make an appearance. Scott reached to hold her hand for added comfort, as she began to tell her side of the story.

It was a few weeks ago, at the seasonal party the sports players would throw to celebrate all of their achievements. Your brother and friends being on the Lacrosse team earned you an automatic invite each time. It was basically just another excuse for the Beacon Hills High jocks and friends to get wasted. You decided to go over to Lydia’s to finish getting ready, because you two are both usually an hour late and the rest of the pack end up having to wait around for you. “Heyy” you beamed, as she opened the front door. “Someone seems very happy” She laughed, as you walked in. “That is becauseee” you anticipated, before showing her the bottle of alcohol in your hand. “Y/n, are you encouraging the participation of underage drinking?” Lydia faked a gasp. “It appears I am” you laughed, as you headed up to her room. “How much have you already had?” she asked, shaking her head with a smile. “A few shots, maybe more” you shrugged, flopping onto her bed. “We’re going to be wasted before we even get there” she claimed, taking the bottle and taking a large drink of it. “That’s the point, we get there an hour later but we don’t need to catch up with everyone else’s drinking” you educated. “Y/n most of our friends are supernatural and cant even get drunk, your brother being one of them” she laughed. “Oh yeah” you giggled. “I’m almost ready, so I’ll do your makeup for you to save time” she said, fixing her neckless in the mirror. It took her about 45 minutes or so, giving you time to sober up a bit more. “Why do you keep smiling like that?” she asked, while applying the finishing touches. You smiled and looked up at her, “Guess who I’m hooking up with” you slurred slightly, with a mischievous grin.

“Wait, so were they just hooking up, or were they dating?” Allison asked, edging forward. “She never said” Lydia shrugged, shaking her head. “Did you ever ask her?” Stiles questioned. “No, she didn’t really like to talk about it that much, so I didn’t ask questions” she answered. “I cant believe he still hasn’t come forward” Allison mumbled. “It’s the first thing he should have done” Lydia agreed. Scott stood staring at the ground in thought, he didn’t really know how to feel right now. “I need to talk to him” Scott eventually spoke. “I think you should wait a bit, give yourself time to take it in” Stiles suggested rationally. “Do you know anything else, anything at all?” Allison quickly asked. “Ermm- the pep rally. He was the last one of us to see her” she suddenly remembered, widening her eyes. “Wait- what?” Stiles asked. “We were dancing with her, and then she disappeared” Allison said, looking at her quizzically. “I saw him staring at her from over the crowd, the next time I looked he was walking off with her following” the image was a little fuzzy due to her being slightly intoxicated back then. “Are you sure?” Allison asked. “I’m sure” she claimed. “We need to find him, now!” Scott said firmly. Everyone stood up, as he grabbed his jacket. “Scott wait, you need time to cool down” Stiles tried to diffuse. “We need to talk about it, before we make any decisions” Allison added. Scott swung the door open, almost crashing into someone on the way out.

“Woah” Isaac said, by the sudden movement. “Scott are you okay?” he asked, as the other three made their way over to the door. “My sister” Scott growled. “You know don’t you” he said, looking down. “Yeah I know” he said between gritted teeth, eyes glowing red. “Let him explain” Allison said, pushing past and standing in-between them both. Scott’s rage came second, to the grounding of his anchor, as his eyes faded back to brown. They all walked back inside the house, taking a seat on the sofas. Isaac put his head in his hands, slightly tugging on his curls in frustration. “Why?” was all Scott managed to say. “It wasn’t planned, we just started kissing one day and one thing led to another and it became a regular arrangement” he justified. “Oh god” Stiles murmured, sensing the awkwardness himself. “You like her don’t you” Lydia pointed out. Isaac glanced at Scott, before gently nodding his head. “Do you know how she feels about you?” Allison asked. “No, I couldn’t tell if she liked me or if it was just for-” He began, but cut himself off. “Look I don’t know where Y/n is, I know just as much as you do” he claimed. “You were the last one to see her” Stiles stated, folding his arms. “I was also the only one to notice she was gone” he quickly fired back. “If I hadn’t texted her, then you wouldn’t have known that she went missing at the rally” he explained. He then proceeded to pull out his phone and pull up the texts. He handed his phone to Scott, who began to read them and conclude that the date and time matched up. “Why are you apologising, what did you do to her?” Scott asked, looking up at him. “We had an argument earlier on, when Lydia saw us” he stated. “Explain” Stiles imputed.

You followed Isaac into the men’s bathroom, which was empty luckily enough, before pushing the trashcan in front of it so no one else could get in. “What is the matter with you?” you asked him. “Nothing” he shrugged, not looking at you. “You have been avoiding me all day, I didn’t even know you were coming tonight until Scott told me” you complained. “I’m sorry, next time I’ll ensure to be on my phone for all hours of the day” he commented. “No Isaac, don’t make me sound petty when you know yourself that you’re being off with me” you stated. He was about to speak before there were loud knocks on the door. “Are you going to let them in? Considering it is a public bathroom and all” he asked, clearly so he didn’t have to continue with the conversation. “Not until you tell me what’s wrong” you crossed your arms. “I needdd a weee” a deep voice called from outside the door, followed by laughs. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong” he said, walking over to you. “I love you Y/n, and you don’t love me back and it is fucking killing me” he blurted out. You just sort of stood there staring at him, not sure what to do. “Isaac” was all you managed to murmur. “I’m sorry- just forget I said anything-” he suddenly said, brushing past you and out of the door. Everything seemed to feel hot, suffocating even. You then shortly walked out, pushing past the drunken boys who had chosen to fall asleep outside the toilets instead. That’s where you felt the clarity of the air.

“So you told her how you felt and she freaked out?” Lydia asked. Isaac simply dropped his head. “I’m so sorry-” Allison said, knowing how shit he must currently be feeling. Scott locked his phone and past it back to him. “I’m mad at you for doing it behind my back, but I know you wouldn’t hurt her” Scott spoke. Isaac looked up, as Scott pulled him into a man hug. He had to remember that he wasn’t the only person to lose you, when you disappeared that day. “Do you know anything else?” Stiles asked. “Well there is something, she’d lie about it every time I would ask” Isaac began. “When I’d see her she’d be covered in bruises and cuts, and sometimes she’d be hurt pretty badly” he told. “Just like when she came home that day” Scott mumbled to himself. “She’d say it was from pack training or gym class, she would always have tons of excuses lined up” Isaac furthered. “We need to find out why she kept getting injured” Stiles suggested. “And who by” Scott finished.

Hope you guys enjoyed, it Is back at last. Let me know if you enjoyed this part or are enjoying it so far. Already started on the next part, I promise you wont have to wait another year for this one x