i just really like my patrons ok

How Fe Works in ENTPs

By marvoliarty

Just because I saw the post with this question (which was totally random happenstance and not because I check this blog on a daily basis, nope hahaha *sweats nervously*).  Ok, I already just wasted half an hour scrolling down tumblr because I wanted to take a peek and forgot that I was doing this (which is really just me ignoring the fact that I don’t want to query more agents (thanks Ne)).  

Anywayyyyy,  actually talking about Fe. Fe is basically the plight of my existence; more than Si because Si is so low that it pretty much never shows up in my life.  Let’s see how to put this.  Fe turns me into a paradox, and I’ll discuss how here.  It’s always present in my life, much like an irritating child that keeps kicking you in the leg, and no matter what you do THEY WON’T GO AWAY AND YOU CAN’T MAKE THEM STOP KICKING YOU.

Ok, so basically, Fe is the cause of my freaking huge ass ego.  I need to be loved by everyone.  I need to be the center of attention.  I do things just to make people laugh, for attention, so that they think I’m funny.  I say things as a joke, but really they’re true, but I need to share them in a socially acceptable way. With my writing, I get ahead of myself and share the document before even the first draft is complete.  I need your input, I find it fun.  

On the contrast, FE IS EFFING TERRIBLE.  I am super insecure because omg what if you’re lying to me, if you’re trying to spare my feelings, or what if you actually hate me?? WHO KNOWS???? CERTAINLY NOT MY FE.  I can’t discern people’s feelings well, because once my personal emotions get involved, I don’t know if it’s me or you or if I’m just imagining everything and wtf.

Fe makes me a super people pleaser, because I lowkey/highkey both want people to like me.  It’s like ‘eh, I don’t care what people think of me’ and ‘BUT I WANT YOU TO LIKE ME’.  I will try to make you like me, but once you establish that you hate me for absolutely no reason, I will derive great pleasure from making you hate me even more.  Tert Fe is a dick.  I will go out of my way to outdo you in absolutely everything and thanks to Ne’s completely awesome to be good at basically everything right off the bat, I’m typically going to win. #Evil. 

However, it still is Fe, which provides the lovely thing called social obligation and feelings ugh.  For example, I was super tired yesterday, but my mom was going to the store and asked if I wanted to come (she’s an Fi user, so she doesn’t really understand this struggle), I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT but because of Fe it went 'look at all she does for you, don’t make her sad! Go with.’ and that’s why I had to go to the store.  I need social approval on things as well, which is why when I wanted to skip school because I WAS really sick, I couldn’t do it until someone else told me that I could choose to.  

In emotionality, it kinda turns me into that tumblr romance movie trope about 'the plan’.  Basically, I have a plan for my life and then Fe goes 'look at person, have feelings’ and I feel as if I was hit by a bus, because I typically just don’t have actual feelings for anyone in that aspect.  My upper two functions go NO THIS ISN’T THE PLAN while Fe goes la la la la.  Also, because Fe is so low, the way my liking you comes out is weird…..  My ego, and the fact that I really can’t take rejection (lower and underdeveloped as of yet) means that when I like you, I have to hide it.  I always hide it so well that I go to the opposite end of the spectrum and either make it super uncomfortable or you end up thinking I hate you because I act really aloof towards you.  GAH I JUST WASTED ANOTHER HALF HOUR ON TUMBLR.

Um, ok, upside; I am really not the type of person to be socially correct just for the sake of being socially correct, and having it low down actually makes me a pretty genuine person?  Like, for example, I intern at an office with two Fe dome ladies who are super nice, but also, pretty catty.  After we all went to a holiday lunch, the two of them start complaining about this one woman who I happened to like.  I had never noticed that they didn’t like her, but they were faking it.  I can’t really do that.  Since I have super impulsive/creative Ne and kinda socially inept Ti in front of it, Fe tends to bleed my true feelings through.  When I don’t like you, typically I make it known, or at least it is seen without ever being socially rude.  Another example, there’s this girl in my dance class who is pretty backstabbing, and so I am cordial, but I just let her talk, and occasionally, I will nod.  I can’t pretend that we are friends without it coming out super patronizing.   

DAMNIT TUMBLR.  Ok, um let’s see what else.  EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION.  Alright, yes, we do that, we’re super good at it, book look, it’s not some Hannibal Lecter crap, we aren’t psychopaths.  Here’s the deal: we completely understand societal rules and expectations, know how they work, and how to respond to situations, we just typically lack the element that Fe doms and Auxes have, you know, caring about it.  We pretty much have an emotionally detached textbook understanding that allows us to follow typical textbook responses to achieve the desired result.  That’s how I literally created a persona that made me the concentrated embodiment of exuding brilliance and success: I in fact built it like Frankenstein out of pieces of other people’s personalities.  Like I said before though, with romantic feelings, once my own emotions are introduced, it get’s hard and I can no longer predict and manipulate with ease.  Then enters from stage left, guilt, doubt of what I am seeing, my own act either going too much or not enough, crashing and explosion.

Also, a weakness that comes with Fe, no matter where in the function stack, if the need to share, which sucks.  When one of my classmates shared that she was going to an audition, I immediately perked up, because I knew that if I went, no matter what it was, I would get the role.  Now, I, of course got the role, but it was because of her Fe that she needed to share it, and because of my lower Fe that I need to share things like the premise of my book to other people, which my Fi mother would never do.  'don’t be stupid,’ she’d say, 'someone will take that idea and steal it’.  Still, Fe makes me need to share.    

Ok, this may or may not be the final point, depending on whether or not Ne gets another idea (which it always does after I submit and then I want to stab myself in the eye. #why does every paragraph end with me wasting an hour on tumblr???).  Fe is super confusing and weird.  Goodnight California

Mod:

Dat be too many feelz + Ne brain puke to read without a drink.

anonymous asked:

Adam, I know you've got quite a fanbase, being typically thought of in the top three Slender mockumentary series. But their are a lot more series that don't have any sort of your fanbase. How did you build your fanbase up like you did?

I tasted this really good soup once. Then I tried to make a soup that tasted similar, just to see if I could. I did and it was an ok soup, but people thought my soup was a knockoff. So, I scrapped the original recipe and added some new ingredients that I thought would taste good, cooking it differently. People began to like my new soup so much that I opened up a soup kitchen, consistently making more and more, adding new ingredients with each soup. Each new dish offered something novel and interesting to patrons, and despite some negative Yelp critiques, I continued on making soups because I loved that people kept coming to try them out. Suddenly, over 3,000,000 people have tried my soups and nearly 40,000 people come to my restaurant regularly whenever I premiere a new soup bowl. One day I get asked by a reporter, “Adam, I know you’ve got quite the customer appreciation, being typically thought of in the top three soup restaurant chains. But their are a lot more soup kitchens that don’t have any sort of your costumer appreciation. How did you build your customer appreciation up like you did?“ and I replied, "I just kept making soup.”

 

8

i went thru my /tagged/rocks and drew some more oreads!! uvu

  1. Rosasite - just a cute lil oread babby hehe
  2. Crocoite - a mammoth rider! wooly mammoths are native to the lowlands of Pathara, and used as heavy transport
  3. Wulfenite - a cleric of Ferrakus, the patron deity of Pathara
  4. Amethyst - since oread hair is rocks, oread hairdressers have to be pretty handy with a chisel! who is that lovely lady getting a haircut?~

laurenhansen  asked:

Alright, this is going to be my last message. Liv's love for Fitz isn't a weakness. I didn't say that. But Fitz is her weakness - if a villain wanted to control her, they would hurt Fitz. And Liv is Fitz's weakness. It's not a bad thing, it just is. My only problem is that the writers chose to maker her weakness a character like him, because it's a theme we see repeated over and over again. I really admire your eloquence. Thank you for replying to my messages! xxx

Ok, since we are writing our good-byes, lol, this will be mine. It’s a long one…

I like words. I like them so much, sometimes I think it’s important for the discussion that we define key terminology we are using. I do not do it to be patronizing or facetious. It seems we have a miscommunication over the word “weakness”.

Here’s your direct quote from your last message to me:

“…It just seems sort of disempowering to me to make her weakness a white republican politician, as if “even Olivia pope falls on her knees for this perfect white man.” I’m sorry. But I guess that’s just because again, I just don’t see enough positive or mature traits in Fitz (to me, he’s just a whiny child a lot of the time, but I accept that you feel differently).”flymetothelostmoon

According to my interpretation, you are saying that having a black woman be “weak” for a “perfect” (don’t know how you arrived at that deduction) white man is disempowering. The very thing for which she appears to be “weak” in your eyes IS her love for Fitz. You then go on in your current argument to state that others try to exploit Olivia via Fitz. The only way that  is possible is through love. Therefore, you are indeed accusing that Olivia’s love for Fitz is a “weakness”. Speaking of which…

Weakness (n):

the state or condition of lacking strength.

“the country’s weakness in international dealings”

synonyms:

frailty, feebleness, enfeeblement, fragilitydelicacy; More

a quality or feature regarded as a disadvantage or fault.

“you must recognize your product’s strengths and weaknesses”

synonyms:

faultflawdefectdeficiency, weak point, failingshortcoming, weak link,imperfectionAchilles heelfoible

a person or thing that one is unable to resist or likes excessively.

“you’re his one weakness—he should never have met you”

 

So in every which way, “weakness” is not a word people use favourably. It is not a word by which people want to identify themselves. I’m going to quote what I said last night in a follow-up q&a:

“I have a problem in general with how some people view “weakness”. The root of the issue is that we see and value “strength” in really narrow, masculinist terms. Therefore anything that falls outside those narrow confines is seen as “weakness”. It becomes a kind of feminized trait to be eradicated, especially if you wanna get your grown woman on. It’s ridiculous. We are all made vulnerable by someone, or something…”

You could just as easily say that Mellie is made “weak” by the supposed love she has for Fitz. That Fitz is made “weak” by his love for Olivia. That Olivia is made “weak” by her familial love for her father. I think the better word to use when we are talking about Olivia and her love for Fitzgerald is “vulnerability”, which means open to attack, harm, or manipulation. All of that is true. But is the vulnerable party at fault, or is it the motherfuckers who try to take advantage of the vulnerability?

From where I am sitting, it’s the latter. Vaginas are open to attack, harm or manipulation by their very existence on a human woman. You wouldn’t call having a vagina a weakness, would you? Yet the possession of one was the basis on which Olivia’s father, Jake, Cyrus and god-knows-who-else manipulated Olivia in S2 B with that misogynistic ass seduction story line. You see, her father thought Olivia was just Fitz’s favourite concubine, and that if evidence could be shown to Fitz that Olivia slept with another man, then surely he would reject her. Literally, that was the premise and it did not work because Fitz is not that kind of asshole. So, again, loving someone isn’t a “weakness” so much as it is can make you vulnerable, ceding a sense of control.

So here we have the perfect storm of Ms. Pope being at the intersection of blackness and femaleness, wrapped in the inherent imperfection of humanity. Actually, I guess this discussion is about the impression that Olivia is made “weak” by the writer because she doesn’t love the right person.  Fitz’s good and bad qualities are not the point at all, so we can agree to disagree on him as a love interest.  This discussion is about Olivia’s choice in love interest. But you do say that a black woman loving a character “like [Fitz]” is a theme we see over and over again. What is that exactly? Black women who genuinely desire a white male love interest (as opposed to being in love with whiteness as means of salvation from black self-hatred—itself promulgated by racism)? A pulled-together black woman being in love with someone others regard as a fuck boy? Black women whose projection of perfection belies a more complicated being underneath? What is it that we see “repeated over and over again”? By the way, are you totes OK with the problematic relationship of Olivia and Jake?

The core issue of our discussion from tonight and today is an insistence that there is a type of man to whom our black anti heroine  would be most suited. A suitable boy, if you will. Or perhaps, you wish for our heroine not to be made vulnerable in any way by romantic love at all. Perhaps, then Olivia could exist as some feminist fantasy trope instead of a woman who wants and is going after everything. And I’m saying that as a feminist who rejects the paternalism of grown women telling other grown women how to behave in order to further the cause of equality. Similarly with my own folk—black folk—I reject the notion of embodying some Christian respectability (cultivated as a direct response to the de-humanization of racism) as the antidote to racism. Because then I don’t get to be fucked up and human in my own way.  Reading Olivia as “disempowered” by the love she chooses tells me that you don’t see Olivia’s full being as a character, but rather her archetype. You seem to judge Fitz in the same way: a representation of white perfection, which is a way of seeing that is absolutely dismissive to the point of caricature.

I want you to be aware that the lens through which you are regarding Olivia convinces you that she is “disempowered” (your word) through her choice in lover because that lover is white (you have emphasized his whiteness in every single response, so clearly that’s a problem for you), yet perplexedly simultaneously “perfect” and “selfish, immature and self-entitled” (again, your words). You are reading the narrative as Olivia being in-love with the idea of perfection of whiteness (“even Olivia Pope falls to her knees for this perfect white man”). I think you have to dismiss a great deal of the narrative in order to arrive at that conclusion, so I reject it. It’s too simplistic and doesn’t work.

You know what would be actually disempowering? If, in order to be considered “strong” or “great”, Olivia had to choose between the imperfect love that fulfills a great desire within her, and being a kick-ass business owner who restores order. If Olivia had to be judged in narrow masculinist terms of “strength” and “power” to be seen as powerful. If everything Olivia’s brilliance and slayage loses their shine for the audience because she wears the battles scares of familial and romantic love. Now that is disempowering.

Before you cry “the writers!” when you disagree with the parts of the narrative, question yourself on why you don’t do that for aspects of the narrative you accept. Why is what you accept more valid for the writers to portray? Our readings are only as good as our eyesight—and those are limited. 

“Being an ally is like being a parent at a sporting event.” okay okay i know i’m a killjoy and they meant well (you’re not in the game, you won’t get hurt, you have no stakes, you’re not really the one who wins or loses, etc.) and whatever but like… ok you’re not my fuckin parent though