i just realized i never posted this up on tumblr

fall is strange

Football games, candy apples, and piles of leaves: Mike and El fall-ing more in love with each other in autumn.

(read on ao3)


El knew it was the beginning of the fall season when football games started once again.

The cheerleaders would wear their uniforms to school and the boys would wear their football jerseys, turning the halls and classrooms into a sea of white and green. Lucas was among one the jersey wearing football players, deciding to join junior year and easily making the varsity team. That sent Mike, El, and Dustin to the bleachers near the football field to support their friend.

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Hi guys!! Long time, no post, I know, I’ve been super busy, but I’ve been planning on writing this post for a while, so I’m glad I finally have the time! 

Which brings me to the topic of this post. It’s so hard to find time for our hobbies, like reading, blogging, writing, etc. But honestly, we have more time than we think we do. It’s just a matter of finding it. And as someone who managed to finish all seven seasons of “Parks and Recreation” in a month and a half while also finishing all of her homework and getting a halfway decent amount of sleep, I’m here to give you some tips that have helped me find some time in my day, and hopefully they’ll help you find some time in yours.

Bus rides will become your best friends •
Seriously. They will. I take the bus to and from school every day, and I use that time to read, add stuff to my tumblr queues, and occasionally watch shows on Netflix. It may feel like it’s only a little bit and that it’s not worth it, but I promise, every little bit adds up. Even ten pages every time you’re on the bus adds up to a whole book before you know it! And a few episodes may not feel like much of a binge-watching session, but they’ll fly by before you know it. Use that time. It makes so much of a difference when you do. Bonus: it makes your bus ride feel so much shorter, and it gives you something to get you out of bed.

And even if you drive, you can still use that time
Obviously, you can’t read or watch Netflix while you’re driving, but you can listen to an audiobook, or catch up on that podcast that you’ve been meaning to listen to. BUT do not let it distract you from driving. Nothing is worth that. Don’t put it on too loud and make sure you can still concentrate on the road. But if you’re the type of person that focuses just as well or better with stuff playing in the car, then by all means, make the most of your time.

• Bring stuff with you wherever you go in case you have a free moment •
I always carry a book and my journals with me in case I have a random, unexpected bit of free time that I can use. Sometimes I’ll have a substitute teacher and I’ll finish the assigned work early, or I’ll be waiting to be picked up from somewhere, or I’ll get somewhere early and have to wait around for a while. Those moments are the perfect opportunity for me to read another chapter or write a few hundred more words. You never know when those moments are going to happen, so it’s good to be prepared just in case they do.

• Sometimes, you have to put your phone down •
I know, I know, I love my phone too. I’m on Tumblr and Twitter all the time. But sometimes, you have to put your phone on Do Not Disturb and focus on what you love. Social media takes up more time than we realize, and that time could be better used working on something that you love. Work on a new blog post, write a poem, take out a sketchbook and draw something. Leave the internet behind for a while and dedicate yourself to something else, something wonderful that you’re proud of.

• Trust me, you’ll thank yourself later •
I can’t even tell you how many more blog posts I finished, words I wrote, books I read because I used all of those small windows of time. Even if it doesn’t seem like a lot, every little bit of progress matters. You’ll start to notice it after a while, and it’ll all feel so great. You’ll be so proud of yourself, and I’ll be proud of you, too.

Hope this helps someone out there!! :1

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Iris from Lolirock!

I drew this close to two years ago, and never posted it up here, for some reason. I drew it without realizing that just a year after, I would end up working on the second season of Lolirock when I got my first job after graduating, hahah. Life is funny.

(Actually, I’ve been pretty absent from Tumblr for quite a long time now… Am I back now? I don’t know, we’ll see.)

Lori’s Recs: The Great Suspender

So if you’re like me, and I know I am, you’ve got a million tabs open constantly. I hadn’t realized how much this could slow down my browser until I installed this Chrome extension, and thanks to whoever reblogged the Tumblr post about it. Seriously.

You install the extension, and it will automatically suspend any tab that’s been inactive for a bit. You just click on the suspended screen to reload the tab. You can also designate certain tabs NOT to ever be suspended (I have my Big Four on “never suspend,” that’s Gmail, Tumblr, Twitter and FB). My browser has been running much more smoothly, and it wakes up faster after I’ve been away from the computer.

You can find it in the Chrome extensions store. I’m sure something similar exists for Firefox but I don’t know what that would be.

Wow, I must have loved you a lot. I subconsciously wrote 36 poems for you and about you. I subconsciously pictured you in my mind every time I picked up a pen. You became my muse without realizing it. In addition, I gave you my heart without knowing the pain that it would bring in the future.
HOT off the press!! Read My EXCLUSIVE interview “FROM RAGE to REDEMPTION” in which  Joseei/ @irishking-vu sits down and tells ALL.

“ Its one thing to say sorry but if you don’t step up to the plate and say why you did what you did, then its just a word. “ ~ Joseei /@irishking-vu 

Muse: Hello, Joe

Joseei: Heya Muse, how are you?

Muse: Wonderful. This is actually our first time meeting I think. And you came in a designer suit - looking good I have to say.

Joseei: Thank you. Very rare I wear suits. You look wonderful yourself.

Muse: Oh what a charmer - I didn’t expect that! So let’s just jump right into it. The scandals. The controversy. The harassment. The change of heart…I’m sure you know that many people are going to be wondering why I interviewed you and they will have a lot to say. But it took guts to do this. And even more guts to make your apology post. So the first question I want to ask is something that is on everybody’s mind…

Muse: Why? Why Apologize?

Joseei: It was long overdue. I’ve said sorry privately etc to people before but people would never believe it really cos I’d be in some other hot water the next day. and rightfully so. People didn’t believe me if I would just cause shit the next day. I never made a public apology before, so I layed it all out. Listed all my horrible actions and said sorry to everyone I could think of while writing and I know I left a few out by mistake.

Muse: Are there any people you’d like to mention now that you didn’t?

Joseei: Destiny, Janice, Paige, Nizael (who doesn’t play anymore I believe), RosieLauren, Way1 aka Kate, Chyna -

Muse: *scribbling in her notebook, furiously trying to keep up* Goodness.

Joseei: I am sure I am leaving more people out. I’ll be going down my old messages from tumblr/IMVU later and making sure everyone gets their apology.

Muse: Wow, it sounds like you’re committed to this.

Joseei: Mhm. I spent like 1 to 2 hrs writing the post itself. I was realizing how much I fucked up as I was going. I was so ashamed of myself.  I even apologized to people like @gem-spot, @mzkoko1, and @voodoodahl-vu (Nat) in that post etc who I knew for a 100% fact would reply negatively and never accept it but I unblocked them and let them say whatever they wanted… It just had to be said. I fucked up big time.

Muse: That’s what made so many people in the industry take notice. I mean, you could’ve just posted a simple, generic, apology. But you really took the time out to not only list all of the individuals you could think of, but to also be specific about what you were apologizing for. That had to be hard…did u almost change your mind and scrap it during the writing?

Joseei:  Yep. Gem’s reply was along the lines of “Jump off the tallest building with your apology” and Koko was along the lines of “I never will forgive you, I would spit in your face” Did I nearly scrap it? No. I thought about doing the post a few days ago and didn’t start it but the post you see now, I started and didn’t stop.

Muse: How do you feel when you get responses like that?

Joseei: How do I feel? Ashamed of myself. I pushed people that far to give me those replies. I deserved them.

Muse: Tell me, who were u most surprised that forgave u?

Joseei: Carmen / @queenmajestyvu

Muse: Why were you surprised?

Joseei: She thanked me for the apology. As did @Afrodizac aka Aly. I was suprised cos I gave Carmen and Aly alottttttttttttttttttttttttttt of shit.

Muse: It’s well known now that Diamond Enterprise, in terms of public opinion, has pretty much been blacklisted by almost every company that’s relevant now. Do you think that’s deserved considering that - in many people’s eyes - as a company, they stood by and not only enabled that behavior but supported you and your work during all of the harassment? And if not, why?

Joseei: I don’t think Diamond Enterprise ever deserved any of that treatment. That’s why I started my apology list off with Jess (moaneyyx on tumblr, BimboArely on IMVU). I’ve had a off and on again romantic relationship with Jess, I still do. So people always assumed she was biased towards me. If anything I would argue so much with Jess and give her shit and I would claim she was biased towards whoever was accusing me of X Y Z. She was never on any sides  She was always in the middle, always asking for proof etc from my side and their side. She is one of the sweetest people ever. Recently though before my apology, the drama was so much she just gave up all together because she has a busy real life and plenty of stuff going on. Alot of stress. She was never biased towards anyone. I wish she would of taken my side without question but she was true to her job at all times.

Muse:  Do you understand how some of your targets would not want to associate with someone who seemed to stand by you during your darkest times.

Joseei: I understand why people walked away for sure.

Muse. What was the thing that changed your mind and made you want to apologize? Did something happen?

Joseei: Nothing happened really. I already lost a lot of friends weeks/months ago. Me and Aly would have our stupid love/hate arguments on the daily but that was about it but @elijahyounglion from LyonsDen did say to me “I know the old Joe is still in there, you used to love and care about everyone and vice versa, but look what you did. I know because I been down that path”

Joseei: “You let argument after argument ruin everything. You are better then this.”

Muse: if u could use one word to describe the old joe and one word to describe the new Joe who has apologized to everyone what would those two words be?

Joseei: Well, right now I think I am back to how I was originally so I am now “old Joe” again. Caring.
The “new Joe” which is now the past. Disgusting.

Muse: is there anything else u want to clear up or say to the people who u have already apologized to?

Joseei: The people who are my friends, who never said anything, ever , during everything. They got dragged through the dirt too just simply for knowing me. That is unfair.

Muse: Dragged through the dirt? How so?

Joseei: and even for my friends that stood up for me, they don’t deserve being dragged through the dirt. Blame me. Not them.

Joseei: I am guilty of that too. Staying away from certain individuals, cos they associated with someone I hated. That was my downfall. Honestly, nobody should do that stuff. Judge each person individually for yourself. Don’t let others think for you.

Muse: Out of the women you have harassed in the past, who are the top 3 you’d like to work with again if any?

Joseei: Dolly. i was very mean to Dolly. We used to be close. I worked with her plenty of times, she was my first ever scene. If anything, I’d just be grateful if she accepted my apology…

Joseei: Krisa. I think we only ever modeled together.

Joseei: and of course Carmen. We’ve worked together before and she is very talented.

Muse: For my readers who don’t know who these women are, I’d like to clarify. He is referring to the wonderfully talented and highly successful Dolly ( @dollyxplayhouse ) of @imperialxxxstacy, the beautiful Krisa ( @krisamaevu ) of @savagehustlers and the Queen, @queenmajestyvu of Majestic Productions, former president and star of ( @lowlifeent-vu ) 

Joseei: I am pretty much done with tumblr though i gotta say. Hence why I said sorry. Put it to bed. I might do something from time to time in the future. We’ll see.

Muse: So let’s move on to other things outside of the porn industry. What’s next? I know you are now a creator and have been putting a lot of work into your products in addition to still owning your own stripclub.

Joseei: Well tomorrow, there is a hurricane hitting Ireland. So I’ll try to be safe from that first (*he laughs*). After that though, yes I create and I rebooted my strip club which is now freelance stripping.

Muse: I’m sure the hearts of my readers, like my own, goes out to you and all those who will be affected. What do you look for in a stripper?

Joseei: Well its called Thickest. So… a big ass. To be blunt. Big boobies are a bonus of course. (*he laughs again*)

Muse: If you were to hire any of the women you’ve apologized to, who would be your top 3?

Joseei: Probably the 3 females I mentioned before haha. They tick all of the boxes obviously.

Muse: Can you tell my readers what projects you’re going to be working on in your Shop? Why should everyone Shop Joseei?

Joseei: My public shop is pretty bare, basic designs such as posters. I sell custom scalers privately. My most popular though is a female chest scaler/enhancher that work on any “musubi” shirts, keeps the musubi roundess shape perfectly and increases the size.

Muse: I have to ask you about a post from I believe….@kiingreapa in which rl pictures are exposed of someone who is allegedly you. Would you like to comment on that?

Joseei: Someone made a tumblr page against me using my real name and some old pictures they found from when I was 14-17ish? I’m 22 now so I’ve been impersonated left right and center but that page took it too far. I never hid my real name or pictures but jesus. They titled it like “Joseph from Ireland. Gay. 22.”

Muse: So to set the record straight you’re saying that you never solicited Mr. Reapa for sex?

Joseei: No. I’m straight. My only tumblr account is @irishking-vu. I’ve made alts and anons before but they were usually jibberish to send a quick message, which was wrong of me. People have been impersonating that style too. But the account with real pics and stuff. That is not me. Someone clearly hates my guts.

Muse: I like to end my interviews on a good note with a couple random lighthearted questions. What’s your favorite sexual position?

Joseei: Oh shit. Hmm. From behind, female pushed up against the wall probably.

Muse: What was your favorite scene that you’ve ever done, the scene you’d like to be remembered for should you indeed decide to leave the industry for good?

Joseei: The one Carmen ( @queenmajestyvu ) posted of me and her. Amazing video editing. 

Muse: Is there anything you want to say at the conclusion of this interview?

Joseei: I am truly sorry to everyone I hurt. Don’t hate my friends, give them a chance. I don’t expect forgiveness either. Everything I pretty much said in my post.

Muse: I’m glad you sat down for this interview. I wish you the absolute best.

Joseei: Thanks for taking the time for doing it. I didn’t really deserve a interview.

Muse: You’re welcome. Should you have any news you’d like to break, I’m only a message away. I’ll come running with my pen and notebook.

Joseei: Gotcha. Thank you. I wish you the best too.

                                                          The End.

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I’m a pathetic a** loser with weight problems, depression, anxiety, and a brand new diagnosis of borderline personality disorder.
My ex girlfriends sister just hit me up trying to torture herself about the night that I had a threesome with my girlfriend at the time and her boyfriend at the time.
She thought he’d be the love of her life and I thought she’d be mine.
What she doesn’t realize is that I never consented to what happened that night…..
I kept pretending that I wanted it to have happened… Because that seemed better than admitting that I never wanted it….
Going so far as to even post fake posts on my personal tumblr about how much I wanted it because I knew she was following me…
Now I’m drunk and I want to die and she passed out.
I don’t want to realspe tonight…

I don’t know what I’m running from but I always feel like I’m only one step ahead and I feel like it’s catching up to me like I’m running out of time and I’m holding myself back also I just realized this sounds like one of those fake deep vague depressing posts they have on normie tumblr but this is literally just how I always feel like day in and day out I’m doing the same thing and I’m wasting my own time that I’m never going to get back and bleh I’m just hhhhggggg

Aiji Yanagi is here! I’m so sorry that took forever… I’m trying my best to juggle illustration and work at the same time xD

[Previous post update}

Just realized I never uploaded these WIP! I haven’t posted the final artwork but Okazaki Kei is finished! Here is my line-up:

  1. Okazaki Kei (COMPLETE)
  2. Sasazuka Takeru (COMPLETE)
  3. Yanagi Aiji (COMPLETE)
  4. Shiraishi Kageyuki (Working)
  5. Enomoto Mineo (Queued)

Follow me on Twitter for faster WIP updates! (I-I’ll love you…) (m;_ _)m

I was binging on some BtVS on Netflix this evening and couldn’t help but watch ‘Seeing Red’ (S6E19) this evening. I’ve seen this episode many times… First when it aired (back when we taped shows on VHS), then later when the series box set came out. Around the time Tara and Willow got together, I was figuring out my sexuality. To say the character of Tara Maclay and the Willow/Tara relationship was important to girls like me is an understatement.

At the beginning of this episode, Willow and Tara spend entire *minutes* onscreen wrapped up in bedsheets and each other and basically talk about how they spent the entire night having make-up sex. (I’m resisting going off on a tangent about Tara’s “Can we just skip it; can you just be kissing me now?” speech from the previous episode)

Anyway, we received the gift of the girls in bed with extra kisses. Keep in mind, back in that year we could all count the girl-on-girl kisses we had seen on TV on both hands so this was a big deal…

Then we saw the captain of the Willow/Tara ship, Dawn Summers, fan girl all over the couple in the hallway once she realized Tara had stayed over and the two had been sexing it up. I never fully appreciated that scene until now, years later. I could totally see Dawn posting on tumblr about it all.

But the thing that killed me all over again about this episode was remembering that Joss added Amber Benson to the opening credits. For this single episode. The episode her character is killed in.

If I recall correctly, Joss said he meant it as a tribute of sorts. A tip of the hat to Amber for the 40+ eps she guest starred in. But, I also recall that people speculated that it was meant to throw fans off from the fact the episode had accidentally been released to affiliates a week too soon and the storyline had gotten leaked. So, how does a show runner try to cover up a huge spoiler like a popular character’s death? Well, speed up the opening credits music a little and add a name in! Sigh… The sad thing is that I’m glad he did it regardless. I’ve been fortunate enough to have met Amber several times over the years and she is so sweet and kind and respectful of her work on BtVS. Her character didn’t deserve that shitty ending but she sure deserved to be in those credits (although arguably waaaay before that episode!)

Anyway, I’m rambling on about this because I’ve seen a lot of people on here criticizing the Clexa shippers for still being bitter about Lexa being killed off (Tara Maclay style no less). But Clexa is to teens and 20-somethings like Willow/Tara was to my generation and I’m still irked about it 14 years later, so, four freaking months is nothing.

Alright, enough sad shit. Time to watch Once More, with Feeling.


Amber Benson only got added to the opening credits of the show in the episode her character was killed off in by a stray bullet through the window and I still have feelings about it. Also, I want to hug the Clexakru.

“Tama na muna. In time siguro we’ll meet again pero ngaun i have to leave you. Bigyan kita ng freedom na makahanap ng better saken na obviously marami naman talaga. Kung makakahanap ka man ng iba, kasalanan ko un pero ayokong ikaw ung magsuffer emotionally just because sobrang duwag ko” -Dj.

couldnt be more bittersweet.

so that’s it. The end of the story. Sa ilang buwan ring lumipas, ang dami rin ng nangyari. And honestly, kahit puro rants ako dito sa blog ko about him? Honestly, i’ve never been this happy everytime na kasama ko sya. Everytime na magkausap kami sa phone. Everytime na gigisinging nya ko so early in the moring just to force me to get up and eat breakfast kahit 1 pm pa ang pasok ko. I know puro rants ako about you sa mga post ko dito sa tumblr but i just want to say that u really gave me this feeling and made me realize that fantasy can be real pala talaga. Every moment with u was enchanted, babe. From beginning to the end. I’ll never forget how we start talking; how playful u were that day. How our endearment came up. Nung una “love” hanggang sa naging “babe” bcause u told me it’s sweeter but i prefer calling u love. Huehue. Anyways. Thank you, love. It was very nice meeting u. U imparted a big role in my life and God knows how grateful i am for having u kahit na saglit lang.

Salamat sa saglit, babe. I cherished every second, every moment and every glimpse at you.

i love you, babe.

ebumimasaru replied to your post15 & 36

I always thought the tumblr crushes were the 9 blogs that popped up on the side of the page when you go to the list of the people youre following. I think it used to be called Tumblr Crushes, but it doesnt seem to be titled that anymore 🤔

Oooh that’d make sense!!! I actually remember reading something like that too… In that case, I’ll just write those down too!!


soooo..im alex, i dont really have much to say haha. i havent really come out yet in real life, except to a close friend and my boyfriend. ive always felt like something other than just a person with a vagina, but never decided to dwell on it growing up. i was always confused about if liking all genders was something normal or acceptable, and if someone would love me for the way i felt about my gender. when i found tumblr i learned about being genderfluid, and the community love and support kept me around long enough to realize there’s nothing wrong with how i felt, and now here i am!! keep posting pictures of yourselves, and please dont ever be afraid to be who you truly are

((they/them pronouns please))