i just realized i messed up on the shirt

Take a Chance

The gifset of Dean giving himself that little pep talk from 7x04 inspired me to write this. Dean x Reader, Dean’s POV. Hope you like :)

For fuck’s sake, Dean, you’ve done this a thousand times. You can charm a woman without even breaking a sweat. Why are you so damn nervous?

Because, dumbass, it’s Y/N. This time it’s not some random bar chick that I’ll probably never lay eyes on again. And I don’t want to mess things up. I don’t want to do something that’ll make everything all awkward.

I just want… I just want to be with her. Whatever that means. And I don’t even know how to say that without making things all fucking weird.

Just tell her the truth. Well, the surface truth. Say you’re bored. Take a chance.

She doesn’t need to know you hate being in a separate room from her, that you miss being around her. That you feel not all there when she’s not around, like a piece is missing. That you’re dying to touch her. Like really touch her.

Okay. Here’s her door. Just heard a noise, so you know she’s awake. So knock already.

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When You Least Expect It

Requested by @gracefullydrunk, an Alpha!Sam x Omega!reader fic where the reader and Sam discover they are soulmates after reader gets mildly injured on a hunt.

Warning: A/B/O dynamics, smut

Word Count: 2700ish

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A day on set

KJ Apa x reader

Summary; You’re a fan touring the set of Riverdale and meet KJ in an unexpected, sticky way, leading to unexpected, sticky things

Warnings; smut, a little cursing

A/N; Enjoyyyyy!

You were afraid that your neck might snap as you kept turning your head wildly around, seeing glimpses of different cast members and the familiar set of your favorite show.

You were beyond excited to be actually seeing and experiencing the ‘town’ of Riverdale. You had entered a contest to win a day of touring the set with Madelaine Petsch and when you got an email saying that you won, you couldn’t believe it. So here you were on a sunny saturday morning, walking around the set with a person from the crew, guiding you to Madelaine’s trailer.

You almost squeaked when the door opened the reveal the beautiful redheaded girl with a big smile on her face.

“Hi! You must be Y/N?”, she said as she descended the few stairs.

“Yeah, I’m so happy to meet you!”, you beamed, extending your arm to shake hands with her.

“And I’m so happy to meet you and I’m so excited for today!”, she said as she ignored your hand and went for a hug. You didn’t expect it but instantly hugged her back.

“So I thought we’d start the day with the tour of the set and then see what we come up with, that sound good to you?”, she asked.

“Hell yes!”, you laughed.

You walked around set for a few hours and talked about everything and it felt like you were actually friends, and now you had arrived at the famous Pop’s diner.

“That’s all of it and this is the last place. Would you like to get a milkshake inside?”, Madelaine asked with a smile.

“They really do milkshakes there?”, you questioned as you looked at the diner in awe.

“Not really, we have them ready in there so we could go get ones now”, she explained.

“I’d love to!”, you beamed and started to walk in.

You got your milkshake and looked around the ‘fake’ diner and couldn’t believe you were actually standing in it. Madelaine suggested that you could go sit down.

“Actually, would it be okay if I went out for a second to get a picture?”, you asked, sipping your milkshake.

“Yeah, of course, I’ll wait here so come back when you’re ready but I might photobomb your photo”, she laughed and went to sit by the window.

You laughed as well and went for the door.

Standing outside the diner, you tried to balance the large glass of milkshake pressed against your chest by holding it between your boobs and arm as you tried to use both hands to take the photo. You placed your phone sideways to get the whole building in the picture. It was a perfect angle but the high neon sign didn’t fit in it so you started to back up to get the most important part into the pic. As you had taken a few steps back and it was almost time to press the capture button, you took one more step and bumped into someone, making you almost drop your phone and the glass full of the sweet, sticky liquid slipped from you hold and made it splash all over your chest, making its way inside your top, dripping between your boobs and down to your stomach. You let out a small scream at the coldness of the milkshake and then turned to yell at the person who had caused this disaster.

“That’s fucking awesome, look what you made me do, you asshol…”, you growled, your anger getting the best of you but completely froze when you saw who the person was. Of course this was just your luck. It’s was KJ fucking Apa and you had just called him an asshole, well almost but still. The boy with the ginger hair was staring at you with wide eyes but a hint of a smile on his lips.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you!”, he apologized and turned around to grab some tissues from a near by table.

“I, uh, I didn’t mean to, um”, you stuttered but froze again when you felt his hands over your boobs, dabbing away most of the melting drink.

“At least buy me dinner first”, you joked and now it was his time to freeze as he hadn’t probably realized that he was almost groping your boobs.

“Shit, sorry”, he awkwardly said and handed you the paper to wipe it yourself.

“I should be the one apologizing, I kinda called you an asshole”, you laughed.

“That’s true but it’s okay, uh, are you new? I don’t think I’ve seen you around?”, he asked you, switching subjects in a second and you blushed a little about his interest towards you.

“Actually, I won the contest to tour the set with Madelaine and she’s in the diner waiting for me”, you explained as you tried to dab away the milkshake but it had already turned into a thick, sticky layer over your skin.

“Ah okay, so you’re a fan?”, he asked with a small smirk.

“Guilty”, you chuckled, trying to hide your blush.

“Well, I probably didn’t give you the best first impression so would you be okay with me joining you?”, KJ asked with a smile.

“I guess that’s okay”, you playfully told him, trying to keep your cool and not show the excitement that’s was bubbling inside you.

As you walked back into Pop’s with KJ, Madelaine audibly gasped as she saw your mess of a shirt.

“Oh my god, Y/N what happened?”, she asked as she stood up.

“Well, KJ here, decided to make me a little wet”, you laughed as you looked down at your ruined shirt but your head snapped back up as soon as you realized what you just said and you saw Madelaine burst into laughter. You didn’t wanna see KJ’s face but heard him trying to suppress his laugh and you felt your cheeks getting hot.

“Well what can I say, I do that to girls”, he said and started to laugh as he couldn’t hold it in anymore and you did the same. As he laughed, he scratched his stomach under his white shirt and you saw a glimpse of his abs and you almost drooled. Now your cheeks were burning.

You all laughed for a moment when you heard the door open behind you and then saw a member of the crew.

“Madelaine, you’re needed on set”, he said.

“But I thought I didn’t have a scene before 8pm and I’m supposed to be her guide”, she told the guy.

“I got it Mads, I don’t have anything for a few hours so I’ll stay with her and I think I own it to her too”, KJ smiled.

“Is it okay with you Y/N?”, Madelaine asked.

“Yes, of course, you gotta work and I’m not gonna get in the way of that”, you answered her with a smile.

“Okay, great, I hope you’re still here when I’m ready but if not, it was a pleasure to meet you”, she hugged you, not caring about your sticky shirt.

As she left with a wave, you sat down with KJ after he got you a new milkshake.

“I never got your name?”, he asked.

“Y/N”, you told him.

“Nice to meet you Y/N. Do you happen to like dogs?”, he questioned and you furrowed your brows as you felt a little confused about his question.

“Uhh, yeah, why?”, you asked.

“I just thought I’d ask because I see your into this collar wearing thing too”, he said, referring to the black choker around your neck.

“It’s not a collar, it’s a black belt at giving blowjobs”, you simply said as you sipped your milkshake but almost choked when you realized what you had just let out of your mouth. Today was going well for you…

You looked at KJ face with a little horror, waiting for him to look at you like you were crazy but he just smirked. And that’s when you felt a shiver. This boy was more gorgeous than you had thought and it was now that you actually realized the fact that you were sitting with KJ Apa at the Riverdale set, and on top of that, he had touched your boobs. Another shiver went through you as dirty thoughts about the ginger boy started to flow through your mind.

“I didn’t mean to say that”, you finally got some words out after clearing your mind.

“That’s alright. If you’re finished with the milkshake and don’t want me spill it on you again, we could go into my trailer so you could take a shower and I’ll give you a clean shirt”, he said.

“I think I’ve had enough sticky substances on me today so let’s go”, you said and wanted to facepalm so hard as you clearly weren’t controlling your mouth today. KJ only laughed at this as you started to follow him.

The walk to his trailer wasn’t long and you mostly kept behind him as you felt a little embarrassed about your words. He opened the door and went in and you came behind him and closed the door. You looked around the trailer and saw that on the right was a living room area and on the left, a bedroom with a door, probably leading to the bathroom.

“So the shower’s there and you can undress in my bedroom and I’ll get you that shirt”, KJ smiled as he pointed towards his bedroom.

“Okay, thanks”, you said and went to the room and closed the door. You had to take a moment before taking your clothes off and you hoped that KJ didn’t think that you were an idiot due to all the things you had said today. After a while, you took off your shirt and were about to remove your bra when the door opened and KJ stood there with a towel in his hands.

“Oh fuck, sorry, I should’ve knocked, uh, here’s a towel”, he said but didn’t look away from your half naked body.

“At this rate, you’re gonna own me a dinner and a movie”, you laughed, trying to hide your blush from him.

“It’s a date”, KJ said quickly as he threw you the towel and left the room after closing the door.

You weren’t sure if he knew what he had just said but you tried to ignore it as you took off the rest of your clothes and went in the shower. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for you to finish and you dryed yourself, wrapped the towel around you and stepped back into the bedroom. Looking around for the shirt that KJ had promised, you didn’t see anywhere.

“Uh, KJ? Where’d you put the shirt?”, you yelled.

“Can I come in?”, he asked from behind the door.

“Yeah”, you simply said and made sure the towel was wrapped tightly around you body.

“Here, I forgot to bring it, I got caught up with reading the script”, he said and handed you a black t-shirt.

“No problem, thanks”, you said and waited for him to leave, but he didn’t.

“Can I ask you something?”, he said after a moment and you nodded.

“Did you mean what you said about your necklace thing?”, he asked and shifted uncomfortably, which made you smirk as you knew what was going on. You weren’t one to sleep around but knowing that you had made your favorite actor horny, you couldn’t resist to tease him a little.

“I did. Do you want me to prove it to you?”, you asked with a seductive voice and a smirk on your face.

You waited for his answer with anticipation but it never came. Instead, you felt him grab your hips and place his lips against yours. You didn’t know if you had zoned out for a second or if he was inhumanly fast but you had completely missed the moment when he had approached you from the door and was now running his hands all over you as you kissed him back.

You felt the hunger in his kisses and his right hand slipped under your towel to brush his fingers over your wet slit. You bucked you hips against him as his fingers weren’t enough to give you the satisfaction you needed. He noticed your urgency and in a second, he had ripped your towel off and pushed you down onto his bed.

“Your body is amazing, Y/N”, he told you as he lowered himself between your legs. You didn’t say anything as you were still trying believe that this was actually happening.

You lifted your legs on his shoulders as he placed his head right over your pussy and you could feel his breathing. He licked a long stripe from your entrance to your clit before parting your lips with two fingers. You moaned from the touch and it was a signal for him to continue as he started to flick and suck your clit. You gripped onto his hair and it made him look you into your eyes and seeing KJ Apa between your legs was something you never thought would happen. You were used to not cumming in sex but the eye contact was enough for you to get the release you wanted as you moaned loudly.

After your amazing orgasm, you tried to gather yourself as you knew the situation wasn’t over and KJ’s belt jiggling confirmed it. You saw him take his pants off and pulling his white shirt off. Your mouth dropped a little when you saw his ripped abs fully. He noticed your reaction and smirked, removing his underwear while looking you into your eyes, or he was, you couldn’t as you stared at his length with wide eyes.

“You ready for this?”, he questioned with a smirk as he stroked himself a few times and then climbed on the bed next to you.

“Do you even need to ask that?”, you smirked back and rolled on top of him to kiss him.

“I need you”, he whispered between kisses and you didn’t waste any time placing his cock against your entrance but didn’t put it in. You wanted to tease him.

“Beg for it”, you said and silently wondered where your dominant side was coming from as you usually liked to be the submissive.

“I don’t beg, baby girl”, he said in a low voice.

“Then you’re not gonna feel my tight pussy squeezing your big cock”, you teased and saw his eyes go wide.

“Fuck it. Please, sit on my cock, I want you to ride me, baby, please, don’t tease”, he pleaded and it made you smirk in satisfaction and you lowered yourself on him.

“Fuck”, you both moaned at the same time.

You placed your hands against his chest for support and started to move up and down. You watched KJ close his eyes in pleasure as he started to pant and gripped your hips. You started at a slow pace but speeded it up as you needed more. You kept doing the movement for a good five minutes or so before KJ pushed you off of him and stood up. You didn’t hesitate to get on all fours in front of him at the beds edge and wiggled your ass at his crotch. He only smirked at your eagerness and slammed right into you. You lowered your chest on the bed and kept your ass up, resulting him to give you a slap on it. He started to fuck you with incredible speed and you knew when his pounding started to get a little sloppy after a while, that he was close to cumming.

“I’m gonna cum!”, he yelled, confirming your thoughts. You didn’t think that he would suddenly pull out but when he did, he forced you onto your knees to the floor and shoved his cock into your mouth.

“Make me cum with your mouth”, he demanded and you obeyed and started to work. You took him into your mouth as deep as you could and the part that couldn’t fit, you gripped with your hand. You needed to prove him that your words were true about being a 'black belt’ at blowjobs. You deepthroated him until your eyes were teary and then he took a fistful of your hair and released himself inside your throat, making you instantly swallow it but when he pulled out, he was still cumming a little and it dropped down onto your chest.

“Guess you didn’t have enough sticky substances on you today”, KJ smirked at you. You only laughed at this and climbed back on the bed to lay down. He did the same and cuddled you.

“I gotta ask, did you mean what you said about the date?”, you blurted out as it had been bothering you and you needed to know.

“I did, I just didn’t mean to ask it like that”, he said, sounding a little embarrassed.

“Doesn’t matter, my answer is yes anyway”, you smiled and shared a kiss with him.

Nervous Touch| Jimin

Jimin is known for his charm on stage but when the lights cut out he cant help but become flustered. Its something you’ve learned to deal with but often grow tired of. Maybe Jimin will show you what actually riddles beneath the flustered boy he once was.

Originally posted by marikit257

Warning: Cussing, smut, flustered Jiminie!, then out of no where hot sexy Jiminie!

Genre: Smut and a lovely amount of fluff

Word count: 7.4K

A/N: Im sorry i meant to upload this yesterday but i didnt have my laptop to post it and i tried to post it on my phone but it fucked up. Here it is now tho, please enjoy the trash that i write

Life was enough of a struggle at the tender age of finally being able to find yourself. Being surrounded by hard studies and your parents attempting to guide you only driving your insanity. All though my plate was already full of these things it only grew larger as i was brought into the lime light. Instead of the guidance and judgment i gained from my parents they came from other peers. everybody judge your every movement, every talk and every blink. I however didn’t ask for it but my boyfriend Jimin did so willingly. Jimin had been one of the very handsome members of BTS. He was known for his witty charm and irresistible ways but however when the light was taken away from him he was quite the opposite. He became soft and warm hearted when around me always making sure i was cared for.

Jimin held two personas, one where he is on stage as the cheers and roars from the crowd fuel his energy and sexy behavior. The audience always encouraged this persona making him crave it even more. His other persona was the one I was familiar with, the one where he was so afraid of touching me, as if i was a porcelain doll and i might break at any moment.

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BTS - Reaction to You (A Foreigner) Pretending Not to Be A Fan

As requested. :)


As the handsome boy approached you, your heart rate increased rapidly. You tried to calm down but smiled at him a little too excitedly. He assumed you knew who he was but asked for help first. “Excuse me, could you help me find this place?” He described a sandwich shop which you were familiar with. You gave him directions and he thanked you, before he left he turned and asked “You are an ARMY?” You blushed but nodded, “I didn’t want to freak you out. I know how fans can be. You boys deserve privacy and respect.” He smiled, “Would you like a picture?”


You had somehow ended up sitting next to Yoongi on a plane. As a diehard ARMY you were internally screaming. Not wanting to freak him out though, you casually pretended that he was a stranger you had no clue about. He caught your blush and the sound of your music from your earbuds, BTS of course, during the flight. He smirked to himself as he thought of how great of an actress you were right now. “Good taste in music,” he said softly before turning to you. Your heart was beating out of your chest, “Listen you boys are totally amazing. But you should be treated with the same respect as every other person.” He gave a small chuckle, “Well thank you for that, but you can talk to me. I am just a guy after all.” With that you had some wonderful conversations fill the rest of the flight.


While browsing through your favorite bookstore you noticed a familiar face. A very unexpected familiar face. Hoseok was there, in your country, walking around in the same store as you. You had known he was an avid reader, but seeing him here was unbelievable. You tried to calm yourself down as you walked past him to get to the thriller section. “Any… suggestions?” His words caught you off guard and you stopped dead in your tracks. His English was even more adorable than he was. With your palms sweating, you gave him a smile and pointed him to your latest read. A mystery thriller which ended up climbing the best sellers list. He noticed the nervousness in your voice and the way you were trying to avoid eye contact. “This is important business.” Your eyes grew as you noted the joke and he laughed. “You know how I always need to do it at least once, with a fan makes it more memorable.”


Since he was usually the one leading the boys through other countries with his English he was happy to slip away for a little bit. He just happened to be at the café you were eating at, in the line, right in front of you. You fiddled with your wallet in your hands as you examined how tall he actually was in person. Not to mention his fluent English as he ordered a sandwich and a smoothie that the place was well known for. You had almost gotten away with it before he turned and smiled at you with a “ Hello.” The red on your face probably gave it away, as well as the stare of awe you gave in return before registering that you should say hello back. You carried on with the conversation he began as you both waited for your orders. When they finally called his out, he picked it up and then stopped in front of you. “You know me, don’t you?” You nodded slowly and looked up at him. He grinned and gave a small wink before heading to sit down at a table. When you went up, the cashier informed you that your meal had been paid for. You turned to see him smirking at you.


Grocery shopping was never an eventful thing. At least until Jimin was in the isle you had just turned to. He and the boys must be staying somewhere, you thought. They were off tour right now so you had no idea they would be in your city. He was mumbling to himself, listing off things that each of the members would appreciate him buying. You had no idea what to do. There is no way you would whip out your phone and invade his privacy. He lifted his head, spinning around a bit in search of something. This was your opportunity. “Do you need help finding something?” He smiled at you, nodding while trying to give you the product names in English. You offered to show him around and he gratefully accepted. While helping him, you received a text, your phone visible in your hand. The wallpaper of Jimin and the boys. He definitely saw, the smirk that formed on his lips was huge. “Thank you for helping me, at least I can give you a photo in return.” You paused, “No need, really. You just looked confused and I wanted to help.” He giggled, “This is my thank you in return. You better make it your wallpaper, I’m obviously the best member.” You both laughed and you handed you phone over, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as you both smiled happily for the picture.


You had just gotten paid, and feeling like spoiling yourself, you went to the high end clothing store in town. There he was, Mr. Gucci himself. Looking for some clothing while in the area on vacation. You were admiring him from afar when he caught you looking. A grin forming over his lips as he walked over to you. You immediately started messing with the clothing around you like you had been browsing all along. He stopped across from you lifting two shirts, one in each hand. “Which one?” You looked up flustered. You didn’t respond so he laughed, “You can talk, really. Honestly though, which one should I get.” You pointed to his left hand. “That color looks best on you.” He smirked again getting closer, you had just realized what you said. “I meant…wait, what I mean is..” He stopped you mid sentence, “It is alright. Glad to see a fan overseas like this.”


You were walking along the beach when you heard someone call out, “Excuse me! Could you help me?” You turned to see the handsome golden maknae in swim shorts and a fitted t-shirt looking at you incredulously. You pointed at yourself “Me?” He nodded and walked towards you. Your heart was beating out of your chest as you prepared yourself for what could possibly happen. “Do you know where they serve some good seafood here?” You thought for a moment and answered telling him your favorite spot but accidently mentioned something about large tables for big parties. The side of his mouth curled up as he realized the meaning of your words. “You mean if the boys are joining me? Yes, well do they serve normal food, for Jimin?” You tried to hide your embarrassment. “Yes they do….” There was a moment of silence before you apologized. “Why are you apologizing?” He was confused but also amused at the same time. You explained that you didn’t want to be a creepy fan, you just really liked them.” He gave an appreciative smile and thanked you for your help. “Maybe we’ll see you there?”

No gifs cause the school wifi hates me. I’ll try to add them later.


You Look Cute In My Shirt

Summary/Prompt: “I may have slept in your shirt while you were gone.”
Word Count: 1730 words
Warnings: slight smut (but yeah not really), 
Pairings: Tyler Seguin x Reader

Authors Note: So the other one I posted yesterday was  huge hit and so I though why not post another one. I have a part 2 for this already written so if I get enough feedback on this one, I’ll post the second part.

Originally posted by clarkethesharkmacarthur

The house on nights like tonight were extremely boring and lonely. A cold breeze shot past me, sending shivers down my spine. Lately the house had been extremely cold and it obviously didn’t help that I walked around it in just a t-shirt and underwear. That is unless I had been accompanied by Tyler , then I would be forced to put on more layers. And I’m not saying I liked that.

As of right now, Tyler and the team where a 5 hour plane ride away from Dallas, currently finishing up a road trip. Tyler had crept into my room sometime last week during the earlier hours and had let me know that him and the team were leaving for the week, and that they would be back no later than lunch on Thursday, which was tomorrow.

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Ok so if you remember that one post (actually two) where you could comment your decisions like this one? And the previous one, Choice A obviously won (on Instagram) and there were a lot of people who wanted me to continue this. But I wasn’t even planning on continuing it until I knew I had to. And also READ THIS! After they did the diddledo, Evan went straight to home (but not rlly straight cuz he’s not actually straight) and when morning came, Jon wakes up in his bed, realizes what a mess it is in his room, and the way he found out that he did it with Evan was because Evan had forgot his t-shirt at Jon’s house. (So that’s why he’s shirtless in this pic) (idk how the fuck he forgot it, but just deal with a shirtless kinda Evan)


BTS Reaction - When You Flinch Away From Him During A Fight

Seokjin~ It was just a small argument that got a little too heated. He wouldn’t have been trying to hit you, he was reaching past you to grab his phone off of the counter and you jumped away from him in fear. “Jagi, you know I would never hit you, right? No matter how angry I am. I love you too much, okay?” He said while blowing a kiss to you. The fight was over faster than it started. 

Hoseok~ He had come home late from practice one too many times, and you were fed up with his lack of care for his own health. “You’re going to work yourself to death!” You yelled. He was exhausted and didn’t want to deal with you at the moment, so he tried to get past you to go to bed. He accidentally nudged you a little to hard causing you to fall. His eyes widened and he immediately went to help you up, but you moved away from him in panic. “What? No! Jagi please let me help you. It was an accident okay? I’m sorry.”

Yoongi~ He had never yelled at you before, but when the argument got too intense, he raised his voice louder than you’d ever heard it. You flinched away in surprise, tears welling in your eyes from the pure shock of his anger. When he saw you about to cry, he stopped himself. “Y/N, don’t cry please. I’m sorry for yelling. Let me calm down for a minute and we’ll work this out.” He was still angry, but he would push it aside for now, for your sake. 

Namjoon~ It was a stupid comment you had made to him when he was already frustrated. It quickly turned into the worst fight you two had ever had. When you lashed out at him with a particularly harsh comment, he raised a hand towards you in anger, but only to make a gesture. You immediately reacted, cowering back and apologizing profusely before he could even realize what was happening. He stopped in his tracks, “No, no babe I would never hit you! I wasn’t going to, I swear! I was just-” He would forget about his anger and instantly go to comfort you. 

Jungkook~ His jealously had gotten the best of him once again. “I can’t believe you let him touch you like that!” He seethed, you had never seen him so angry. “If you had stopped to look for a second you would have seen that I was trying to get him off of me! I can’t believe you’re blaming me for this!” You shouted right back. “Bullshit, you wanted him, I saw the look on your face.” He accused you angrily. “Fuck you, Jungkook!” You shot back. In a blind moment of rage, he raised his hand and hit the wall next to him. You flinched back, putting up your hands to defend yourself. He stopped in his tracks, realizing what had just happened,“Oh my god, babe. I wasn’t going to hit you- I would never hurt you. I’m- I’m so sorry.”

Taehyung~ You were just messing around, he was playfully chasing you around the house after you had dropped an ice cube down his shirt. When he finally caught up to you, he almost tackled you to the ground, but somewhere on the way down you got into an awkward position and fell the wrong way. You yelped in pain when you landed, your arm twisting the wrong way. He immediately got off of you, “Are you okay, Jagi? Where does it hurt?” He felt bad for roughhousing with you. 

Jimin~ “Would you please just listen to me? I’m trying to-”You wanted desperately for him to understand how you felt. “I don’t want to listen! Nothing you can say is going to change my mind, okay?” He snapped back, trying to walk away. “Jimin! Please wait-””Just stop!” He whirled back around angrily, and with a little too much force. You jumped back in surprise, muttering out an apology immediately. He saw the look on your face and instantly regretted snapping at you. “I’m sorry babe. It’s okay, really, I shouldn’t be yelling at you.”

Requested by Anon

Thanks for the request! 

- Admin MochaChim


Word Count: 1837

Warnings: Fluff

Here’s your order, miss.“ The lady at the counter said, catching my attention. With a quick thanks, I grabbed the three cup trays and the bag filled with food and headed back to my car. I hated being on lunch duty, it was a five mile drive from the studio and it always took forever, with the insane traffic, the waiting in line during the lunch rush. Then waiting for them to make it all, then checking to make sure it’s all correct. Lastly, I have to make it back with 11 drinks and a bag of food, with out spilling any of it. In stop and go traffic. Fun, right? If only.

The guard let me in without a second glance. At least he didn’t stop me, I’m already late. I park close to the door amd decide I’m going to have to make two trips, I grab the bag and two of the trays, leaving the third for later. I bump the door open with my hip, while trying to balance the trays. I drop the food on the snack table and run back out to my car. Once I get back in, everyone’s crowded around the table grabbing their order.
"Oh, good, there’s more, I thought you forgot my order.”

British accents are the best.

“N-no, I just couldn’t carry it all, sorry it took so long, lunch rush, and the traffic was crazy.” I stuttered, feeling bad.
“I told you it’d be faster to walk.” Followed by a hand being slung around my shoulder. I was one of the personal assistanton the Marvel set, I worked a few different jobs here.

They hadn’t started the actual filming yet, so I wasn’t as busy, just prepping. That’s why I was sent out for lunch.
“No it wouldn’t, the sidewalks are just as crowded, and plus I wouldn’t have been able to carry it all.”
“Hm, that’s true.”
“Of course it’s true, Mel, you really think I hadn’t thought of that.”
“C'mon we have to finish the last set, remember.” She pulled me along, towards the back where we had to finish one of the house-like sets.


“Hey! Melissa! Dammit, now I have to go change.” She had flung paint at me, to get my attention. The walls were almost finished anyway, she could do it by herself.
I stated walking back to my car, before I realized that I didn’t have a change of clothes. Well, fuck. I really don’t want to walk around with paint all over me all day, not that it’s a big deal, I’m always covered in paint, but I hadn’t put my smock on yet, and this was my favorite shirt.

“Woah, what happened?” My head snapped up at the question that was obviously addressed towards me.
“I- uh-” I found myself at a loss for words. I couldn’t think straight, sometimes I wish I interacted with the actors more, maybe I’d be less shy.

“Shouldn’t you have a smock on?” Something clicked and I was able to form a sentence.

“I just got back from the lunch run, I didn’t have time to put it on. The girl I’m working with flung paint at me to get my attention.” I felt my face heat up and I knew I was red. He was obviously amused.
“Sebastian St-”
“Stan.” I finished for him, taking his outstretched hand.
“I know who you are. I work on your set, plus, you’re famous. Its kind of hard not to.” I state, feeling the blush come back.

I ramble when I’m nervous.

He smiled.
“Well, you know my name, it’s only fair that I know yours.”
“Oh- uh, my name’s Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N”
“I like that name.” I feel the blush coming back, so I look down and mumble a quiet thanks.

“Are you going to change?” He questions.
I blush even redder, this time from embarrassment.

“I-well, I forgot a change of clothes, so I really can’t.” I stutter.

He laughs again, his blue eyes filled with amusement.
“You could borrow one of my shirts, although you should put a smock on this time.” He smirks. My eyes widen.

“No no no, uhm no, thank you, it’s fine. I can deal, you don’t have to let me borrow your shirt. I probably won’t see you again soon anyway. I’m always busy and I rarely see the actors, unless we’re filming, because I work with the set and uhm…”
I trail off, realizing I’m rambling again.

“Hm, that does seem to pose a problem. You can just keep it. It’s fine.”
“No, no really I’m okay, I don’t need to steal your clothing.”

“How about we make a deal. I let you borrow my shirt. And since you insist that you can’t keep it and that you won’t see me, you give it back to me when we go out to dinner. Saturday at 8, sound good?” I’m at a loss for words.
I stand there gaping at him. He takes a pad and pen from the table I’m front of us, and I realize that we’re at his trailer. He writes out his name, phone number and the details and hands it to me, along with a maroon colored shirt. He smiles and ushers me into the bathroom to change. I stare at myself in the mirror for a few seconds before stripping off my shirt and putting his on. It’s big on me, but that’s to be expected, I’m pretty small. I walk out with my shirt in hand and Sebastian takes it from me.
“ I’ll wash this right now, and we’ll exchange shirts on Saturday. See you then, Y/N.” He says with a smirk ushering me out the door. I head back over to the set to finish cleaning up. This time I put a smock on, just in case. Mel did a great job finishing the wall, but left a mess for me to clean up.

After I finish cleaning, I look around for Mel and find the studio almost empty. I check the time and realize how late it got. I hop into my car and drive home.
God, it’s been a long day. When I get home I do my usual routine, eat, shower, brush my teeth, watch some TV, and go to sleep. I threw Sebastian’s shirt in the wash before I showered, so I wouldn’t forget.

We talked for five minutes tops, and he managed to organize a date. Honestly, that scared me. Was he always like that? I mean, was he just looking to hook up and I was an easy target? My mind was piling questions on top of each other and I couldn’t think straight. Eventually, it went blank and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

The last three days of the week passed slowly and quickly all at the same time. I did my best to avoid, not just Sebastian, but the rest of the cast as well, which wasn’t too hard. When Saturday came around, I was all too happy to sleep until noon. The only problem was, Sebastian wanted to meet up.

I mean, he didn’t have my address, so I could just ignore the date and go about my life, right? I’d drop his shirt at his trailer, but what about my shirt? The familiar Star Wars theme played from my phone. I groaned and picked it up off the nightstand.

“Hello?” I answered, a bit hostile.

A deep chuckle sounded from the other side, followed by:
“Did I wake you up, Y/N? Sorry, I didn’t think you would still be sleeping. You never texted me, so I took it upon myself to get your phone number from that tech you’re always with, Melony, right? No, that’s not it.-”


“YEAH! That’s it. Thanks. So, about tonight. I wasn’t thinking fancy, you don’t look like that type of person. I was thinking maybe we could go out to that little diner in town and then head to my place for a movie?”

I hesitated. At least at the diner, there were other people. I didn’t know how to feel about being alone.
“Y-Y/N? Are you still there?”

“Oh- y-yeah I’m here.”

“You didn’t answer. I was talking to Mackie about it, he told me that he overheard you say something to his makeup lady about the diner.”

“Did everyone else give their input as well? What about Chris? He’s like your other half.” I know he couldn’t see me, but you could definitely hear the smirk in my voice.

“You know, Chris and I aren’t as attached as people think we are. Sure we’re close, but we’re not ‘I would die for you’ close. I mean I spend just as much time with Anthony.”

“I’ve noticed you spend time with Anthony. The diner sounds nice, and for the movie, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. It depends on how much work I have left to do.”

“Alright, be ready at 8, and text me your address. See you tonight, Y/N.”

“See you tonight.” I repeated, hanging up and going into my messages. I typed in my address and hit send. The work lie was an excuse. I really don’t know if I want to be alone with a man I just met, although its not like I don’t know who he is. You get the idea.


Knock knock knock


I dropped my pen and grabbed my bag. I practically jumped over the back of the couch to reach the door.

“Are you ready for an adventure?”

“Sebastian, we’re going to the diner. Is that really considered and adventure?”

“Yup.” I sighed and followed him outside.

“I decided, since it’s a really nice day, that it would be nice to walk. It’s not too far. Two blocks. Do you mind?”

“Of course not.”

We walked in silence through the busy city, making sure to keep our heads down as to not draw attention. At the diner we were shown to our table and we ordered our drinks. The conversation stayed light as we talked about our jobs and the sheer contrast between the two. After dinner we took the streets once more, but instead of going to Sebastian’s house, we walked through the park, keeping the conversation flowing. We talked about everything from past to future.

By the time we left the park, it was already midnight. Sebastian walked me home and when we reached the door to my apartment he handed me my shirt and left me with a hug and a smile. I stepped in the door and locked it behind me, dropping the keys on the table. My shirt smelled like him and it made me smile. I put it back in my drawer where it belonged and my phone buzzed on the bed. I picked it up and read a text that brought a smile to my face.

You up for date #2? Friday for coffee?

Necessary Secrets || Peter Parker x Reader [[request]]

[[request prompt: Can you do an asexual!reader x peter parker?? :)]]

I’m determined to get through as many requests as possible ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

I’ve got about 30 requests, all for Peter Parker imagines and like I’m still in awe that you readers are actually counting on me to make your requests come true, so thank you (/ω\)

for this story, as a general disclaimer, I don’t mean to offend anyone who identifies as asexual and will do my best to incorporate what I’ve learned into this specific story (since it was requested ;w;). So please, if you feel as though you need to correct me on what it really means to be an ace, then please do so! I don’t mind at all and am willing to learn!!

**I apologize for any grammatical errors since this was all written on my phone. When it’s posted then I’ll make sure to edit it a few more times just in case!**

warnings: none just pure fluff and a hella understanding Peter Parker

tags: {anonymous}

{{request status: open}}

**dont repost/plagiarize this story! Reblogs are fine!!


Peter Parker was hiding something from you.

And you knew that he was hiding something from you because you were hiding something from him as well.

He had to have an explanation for the numerous times he had cancelled past dates on you, and you (in return) had to explain something immensely important to him pertaining to your sexuality.

Your heart wouldn’t stop hammering as you made your way toward Peter’s apartment. You had been dating the boy for a few weeks now and had just had a recent discussion with him on how building a relationship on honesty was the key to a successful one.

Peter (shakily) agreed with you, which was what prompted you to go to his place to finally tell him one of your well kept secrets: that you were asexual.

Now, this wasn’t to say that you didn’t feel romantic love (even though you knew a few other aces who rarely felt romantic love), it was just the thought of having any sexual relations made you cringe. You didn’t mind physical affections, however, the moment someone mentioned how they wanted to get in your pants, you immediately shied away from them.

You just never felt the same desires everyone else seemed to have when it came to being physically intimate in a relationship.

This was why you had to tell Peter the truth before he broke it off with you too soon. You didn’t want your relationship to end tragically like your past relationships, because Peter was someone who was incredibly special to you. A part of you knew that Peter would be understanding and accept you fully-

But the other part of you was terrified of losing him because of this.

You stop walking while in the middle of the street, taking in deep breaths as you tried to calm your racing heart at what was to come, “It’s okay. You can do this, you have to do this.”


Peter was home alone when he lets you into the apartment, “May’s out working right now, s-so it’s just us.”

“That’s uh, that’s okay.” When Peter leads you into his room, you felt a dash of anxiety as your heart beat faster, looking down at Peter’s bed when he gestures at you to sit beside him, “Sorry, my bed is small, b-but it’s really comfortable.”

You nod, clearing your throat when you settle your backpack to the corner of his room. Feeling your palms begin to sweat at what was to come, you sit beside Peter with your hands clasped together on your lap. Wanting to be closer to you, Peter scoots himself toward you so that your shoulders were practically touching, “So….”

“O-Okay, so we both agree that honesty is important, right?”


“And nothing is more important than being truthful when you’re with the person you l-love and care about. That’s why, I have to say-”

“That’s why I need to tell you-”

You and Peter were both rambling now, none of you getting to the whole heart of the matter. With a deep breath, you settle on a compromise and tell him, “How about you and I just say what we want to say at the same time?”

Peter runs a hand through his hair before agreeing, “Yeah, okay.”

You and Peter give each other nervous glances, waiting for a full minute before stating at the same time.

“I’m asexual.”

“I’m Spider-Man.”

“Wait, what? No, there’s no way.” His words shocked you greatly, making you poke his arm in response, “Are you serious? But Spider-Man is so…buff. And you’re…not?”

Peter looked like he wanted to die, the blush never leaving his face when he turned his gaze away from you, “H-Hey, that’s not true. I just-” he sighs and stands up, lifting up his hoodie as he began taking off his clothes.

“Whoa whoa whoa! Stop Peter, don’t-!!” But he doesn’t stop until he was left with a single black t-shirt on, the sleeves not covering the length of his arms when you saw the defined muscles on them, finally realizing what he had wanted to tell you, “O-Oh, then that means-”

“I’m sorry, b-but when you said that a strong relationship was built on honesty, I knew that I had to tell you the truth, despite how much I didn’t want to.” He looks down at you with his lips pursed, “It’s just…I like you a lot [Name], and I don’t want to mess up my first ever relationship with you.”

You stand, feeling all of the love and adoration you had for this young superhero as the puzzle pieces began to fall into place. The reason why he seemed to disappear each day after school, the many times he had to cancel the plans he made with you-

it wasn’t because he was avoiding you, it was because he had an obligation as a hero to protect Queens from danger.

Wanting to show a tiny bit of your affections to him, you continue to make your way toward Peter before giving him a hug. It takes Peter a few seconds to respond before he carefully wraps his arms around your back. “So, you’re not mad at me for being Spider-Man?”

You shake your head, “No, I’m not mad, just hella amazed at the fact that I’m dating Spider-Man.” You turn your face so that your cheek was pressed against his chest, “Are you mad at me for being asexual?”

“I don’t think so?” Peter laughs nervously as he delved his fingers into your hair, running through them when he asked, “B-But just in case, so that I don’t offend you, what does it mean to be asexual?”

You giggle and turn your face to look up at him, “Being asexual means that I don’t have a sex drive. Like, I’m not interested in sex at all.”

He pouts at your answer, and you felt your heart sink when he loosens his grip against your hair, “Does that m-mean I-I can’t kiss or cuddle with you?”

“You dork.” You laugh, hugging him again, “I adore physical contact as a form of affection, I just don’t like the thought of sex. Kisses are fine, and I’m a sucker for cuddles!”

Peter lets out a laugh, evident of his relief when he wraps his arms around your back again, “That’s great, and to be honest with you, I’m grateful that you’re not with me for sex.” He plays with your hair again, and you smile at how nice it felt to have him massage your scalp, “I really don’t like being pressured to do something I’m not ready to do, so…”

Your smile couldn’t have been wider when you hugged Peter even tighter, “Peter Parker, you have just proven to me that you are the best boyfriend ever.”

You had been nervous for no reason, and you were so proud at the fact that you captured this golden boy’s heart.


Originally posted by arachnidiot

Jared Leto x Reader - The Savior

Author’s Note; Thank you so much lovely, I very much appreciate that. Feel free to send in as many as you want, i’m down !! currently I am accepting imagines so please, please, please, feel free to send me some so I can start working on them.

The distant stinging in your right eye was overshadowed by the distinct feeling of betrayal that resonated through the center of your abdomen. You knew you had lost all right to be shocked at his actions because it wasn’t the first time he had raised his hand to you, but it was the first time he had done it to this much of an extreme. Four months ago was the last time; he had grown angry with you for saying something out of line, and as a result the outside of his right hand had come into contact with your bottom lip and chin. It was easy enough to hide compared to the bruises you had now. Currently, your collar bone, your stomach, your upper right left arm, and your eye was bruised. The only way to excuse the damage when confronted by others was to simply lie and say you fell because no other “accident” could be explained with bruises like this. 

“I’m sorry baby, sometimes you just make me so mad.” he spoke in the distance leaning against the door way as you attempted to cover your face with make up. You didn’t say anything and you felt that, that was a bold move considering you don’t really know what set him off the first time he had hit you. The bright side about it all was the fact that all of this took place over 2 days ago, meaning the sores weren’t as painful as before, and slightly easier to hide behind foundation. However, the pain from the fact that he had beat you so abruptly was still there, and you couldn’t fix your eyes to look at him. “You forgive me?” He questioned except this time you spoke. “Yeah.” A gentle nod passed through your frame and you flashed him a small smile before attempting to walk past him. His hand reached out for you, but instead of touching you he placed his hand in front of the door way to stop you. Your eyes finally connected with his and he moved closer to plant a kiss on your lips. You didn’t kiss back and instead you simply stood there with his lips on yours. You did not forgive him for this and even though you knew your forgiveness was inevitable, you still wanted to take a moment away from him. How many times had you done this with him, and how many times had he followed up by continuing to hurt you? 

delicate fingers slide down the key pad of your phone as you texted your best friend, your best friend in which your boyfriend did not like. You could truly never understand the issue your boyfriend had with Jared, you guys had been best friends since before you even met your boyfriend. Yet every time you spent time with Jared, your boyfriend would become distant, cold and sometimes more verbally abusive than usual. however, you normally dismissed it as him being slightly upset about you not spending more time with him and it secretly made you feel needed. 

Jared’s response was quick as usual and he urged you to join him for lunch at his house, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him what happened to you, at least not yet. Jared was usually extremely passive with you and the idea of him being beat up by your boyfriend did not sit well with you. Your boyfriend was extremely short tempered, strong and he already held a strange distaste for Jared, and the last thing you wanted to do was to create an even bigger rift. 

A gentle knock was placed on his door as you fixed your hair to slightly cover your injuries. Your make up had already done a good job of hiding your dirty little secrets, but a little extra coverage was never a bad thing. You were ill prepared for him to open the door without his shirt, but you suppressed the urge to gawk by pressing a piece of your hair behind your ear. 

“Where’s the fire, ya late for some stripper convo?” You joked feeling a sly smile tarnish your lips in a wicked glee. she enjoyed what you saw, the delicate ridges in his torso tightened as you walked passed him, and his upper body vibrated slightly when he laughed. How had you not noticed this about him before? He was drop dead gorgeous. 

“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to be here for another 20 minutes.” he stated in an as a matter a fact tone before closing the door behind you. You could feel your excitement return to your body and for the first time in months you felt like yourself again. 

It didn’t take long for you to make your way to his living room, where like usual, his slightly large middle table was littered with papers full of music, writing and what looked like photography. You couldn’t help but wonder what sights he had taken photos of this time. Usually, they were well taken photos of the mountains he had recently climbed or trails he had hiked with friends. You liked the idea of travel, but with your job and lack of athletic talents you never really found yourself going on any adventures with him. You had hoped that one day that would change and you’d at least try, but with your boyfriend’s constant eye, it was extremely difficult. 

Your fingers lightly trailed over his work while you followed the trail of food to his kitchen and to your surprise it actually smelled nice. Although Jared was a talented cook, you didn’t share his lifestyle of being a vegan, meat was one of your favorite things. 

“That doesn’t smell like rabbit food.” You teased with enthusiasm as the knee length sundress attached to your frame bounced with you. 

“That’s because it’s not. “ he chuckled and you heard him move freely about the dinning room a few feet away from you. “I tell you all the time that vegan is not just rabbit food. Somebody’s closed minded.” He joked hanging on to the last parts of his sentence casually while moving over to the kitchen stove. The shirt he slid on over his frame read “holy guacamole” in black letters and the white cotton hung loosely from his skin in the most delectable of ways. 

his concentration was keen on the food in front of him and you couldn’t help but laugh at his tunnel vision. You feared the day he fell in love, for his focus was always so engulfed in things that he didn’t always pay attention to the people around him. 

You could feel your blood run cold as you glanced away from him, why were you worried about him falling in love? That was none of your business. The deep rooted smile that plastered against your lips was as comfortable as the cotton sweater that hugged the upper half of your skin over your sun dress and you tugged at the fabric gentle to ensure that it was still secure over your injuries.  

You were distracted and you didn’t hear his voice speaking to you. “Huh?” you asked and a slight jump rippled through you when you saw him so close. He chuckled casually while wrinkling his eye brows. “I ask if you were hungry….you alright?” a small hint of humor in his voice as he turned away from you and began putting things on the table. 

“Yes, Yes! I am….wondering what this is and how to let ya down gentle if it’s gross.” you joked even though you half heartedly knew it was the truth. His face displayed a humorous grin before finally looking up at you. He had prepared a pasta, in which he knew was your favorite thing in the world, and followed it up with some juice. You couldn’t help but laugh at it all, he had actually put some thought into it. 

“What is this?” You asked questionably as you poked your fork at it. It smelled undeniably delicious, but you always seemed to take a peak at what’s in your food before actually eating it. You looked up to find his gaze disapproving and for a moment you could swear that you had hurt his feelings. His stare reminded you like that of a father looking at his child after that’d said something that was incorrect.

“It’s Veggie Fajita Pasta, I’ll have you know.” He answered plainly and you instantly mocked him by twirling your fingers in the air and repeating after him, which earned you a laugh from him. You couldn’t help but laugh with him until the tip of your fork tapped against the glass sitting on top of the table with your juice inside. It toppled over towards you, splashing against your sweater and slightly hitting the bottom of your sun dress. 

“I’m so sorry!” you apologized and it was strangely like a mantra that you didn’t notice that you were repeating over and over to him. His eyes narrowed at you as you attempted to clean up the mess and before you realized it, he was right by your side. 

“Seriously, why’re ya apologizing? it’s just some juice. Here, take off your sweater.” He urged dabbing at the mess and reaching up for your sweater. The combination of your shock and his grip coming into contact with the bruises underneath your sweater made you pull away. His eyes connected with yours and you couldn’t come up with an excuse. 

“I um….I’m fine. I just, am cold.” You answered but furrowed his eye brows. 

“The heats on, and wearing a slightly wet sweater isn’t going to help. I got a shirt you could wear.” he admitted pointing his thumb towards the back room and you shrugged.

“Come on, just here, give it to me.” He demanded, holding out his arm, but you didn’t respond. Instead you began fiddling with the ends of your sweater.

“Are you….hiding something?” He questioned, but it came out as more of an accusation than anything else. You didn’t want this, and the idea of him knowing what was going on only made you even more tense. It didn’t take long for you to make your way towards the door and you were surprised at how fast he had caught up with you.

“I think I should go.” you said simply before he called after you in a tone you had never heard him use before. It surprised you enough to stop you. 

“Take off your sweater.” You had never heard that tone before, it mirrored dominance but held a hint of concern at the same time. Who knew he could channel them both. 

“Why?” You asked narrowing your eyes at him as you turned to face him. He approached you faster than you could stop him and he rested his hand on your shoulder. Pinching the fabric between his fingers he was attempting to pull it away from your skin, but you stopped him.

“Don’t do this.” You requested, but he ignored. He looked into your eyes with a stare you had never seen on his face before. It was so intense that you stopped breathing before you realized it and the fabric was already removed from your body. It wasn’t until his eyes flickered away and landed on your bruises that you felt your lungs pull in air and your panic set in. 

He didn’t move, or speak, there was just a heart breaking silence that you couldn’t help but try and shield yourself from. You attempted to cover yourself but his fingers wouldn’t budge, they became steel bars around the delicate fabric that separated his eyes from the truth. 

“Please don’t look.” You begged and his eyes only grew darker. They traveled the edge of your skin with what looked like curiosity.

“Are there more?” He asked, but his eyes didn’t meet yours. They were instead roaming over the confines of your skin in search of more. You couldn’t answer him and the shame of it all over took you to the point where you were crying now. 

“Hey, hey, stop that.” he spoke and his eyes were softer than before. The small hint of rage behind them surprised you given you had never really seen him angry before, but when his hand touched you it was gentle. 

You felt his arms around your frame and they were warmer than you ever imagined they would be. He had picked you up and began walking you into the living room. He disappeared for a moment and returned with a sack of ice and some fruit. When you reached to take a piece to put in your mouth, he swatted your hand away. 

“it’s for your bruises.” He educated, but there was no humor or causality in his voice, instead, there was another emotion there that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. It resonated at the base of his throat filling his words with a subtle hiss and you didn’t  know rather to be afraid or grateful. His fingers were like skilled toy soldiers the way they trailed down the bruises on your skin, slowly measuring them and calculating what he would need. He would press lightly for a few moments as if examining how old they were and how long they took to regain their color. He would put ice on some of them, but the others he seemed to be preparing a paste for out of the fruits he used. 

“Papaya, Pineapple and vinegar?” You questioned and he shrugged. 

“Among other things.” he admitted. The more he seemed to do to comfort you, the more you began to feel guilty about what had happened to you to begin with.

“I’m so sorry.” you apologized again and he shook his head, once again so engulfed in what he was doing that he didn’t seem to be paying any real attention to you. He released his utensils slowly before moving around to sit in front of you so that he could see your face. 

“This is NOT your fault. You cannot control the actions of another person especially a person who is capable of doing something like this.”  he spoke motioning to the bruises on your body and before you knew it, his hands were on your face. 

“Look at me, Look at me. He will never hurt you again, do you hear me? You deserve so much better than this. Do you really not know how beautiful you are?” his question was more of an after thought when it left his lips and you tilted your head to the side in confusion. 

“You are…..beautiful and you are one of the kindest people that i’ve met and I…..I  know a lot of people.” he chuckled slightly which forced a small smile to play on your lips. Although he joked, the truth behind his words sent a flame to your cheeks. 

“You don’t deserve this. You deserve somebody who’s gonna treat you right. You deserve somebody who’s gonna notice when you change your hair, when you can’t sleep at night, when you don’t want to be alone. You deserve somebody who wants to give you every piece of pleasure your mind and your body deserves, NOT someone who does this to you. Who puts their hands on you all because of what? Hmm? What reason did he even have to do this?” He questioned standing up from his spot near you and pointing down at your injuries. You couldn’t answer him because you truthfully didn’t know what sparked it this time. 

His body language changed again and he suddenly grew quiet, staring into the distance as if seeing something that wasn’t there. 

“Is this…..this isn’t the first time…..is its?” He questioned as more of a statement than an actual question. You couldn’t help but stare up at him dumb found because no matter what you said it would still hurt him. If you said no, he’d know you were lying and be more hurt that you felt like you couldn’t tell the truth. If you said yes, you’d just confirm that he’d been blind to it this long. Such a terrible catch 22. 

“And you’ve kept it a secret all this time?” He asked and there it was, that hurt look in his eyes that you wanted to avoid more than anything else. Hurting Jared was different than hurting a normal person in your life because his eyes did this thing you hated. They peered into you searching for a reason for the pain and you couldn’t bare his stare any longer. 

“You know what, no, no. I’m not doing this with you. I have been in love with you since the day you smiled at me.That stupid, crocked, smile that you always give me when you’re actually sad and not happy. The one you give me when you’re pretending everything is ok when it’s not. The one you give the world so that it smiles with you instead of frowning. Now I look at you and that smile takes on a whole different meaning. Did you smile at me like that when you were hiding these bruises? When he’d hurt you and you didn’t want anyone else to know? No, no more. We’re going there tonight, you’re getting your things and you’re staying here. Do you understand?” his demand seeped through your facade and you couldn’t fight him on it. 

The ride to your apartment was utterly gruesome and the silence he was giving you was nearly overwhelming. Your mind was racing with so many thoughts and you couldn’t stop the fluttering idea of his words about his feelings. Did he just admit that he loved you ? You wanted to question him about it, but his mind was else where. 

“Thanks for letting me stay with you, but I can get a hotel room or something. I don’t want to be in the way and it’s really ok. I don’t really need much from the apartment either, just a few things you know? “ your words were mere myths to his ears as he nodded absently while staring blankly out of the window. That same stare as before, as if he was focused on something else that wasn’t you. 

“You’re not….gonna do anything right?” he was non responsive, and instead of speaking he simply nodded his head while poking out his bottom lip as if to say “sure.” 

The short ride was complete and you found yourself standing in front of your apartment complex. He stood beside you unbothered by what was about to happen, and when his eyes flickered towards the parking lot to see your boyfriend’s car, his jaw tensed. Yet another look you had never seen on his face before, what was it?

Your eyes followed him as he marched without warning towards the front door of your apartment and you followed behind him in a messy run. 

“You….you said you wouldn’t do anything.” you reminded him and he smiled before knocking at your door.

“I never said anything.” He stated as a matter a factly. 

In an instant the door was opened quickly by your boyfriend who seemed to have been waiting for you. Jared’s breathing kicked up next to you and he smiled. it wasn’t his natural smile, it didn’t reach his ears or feel his face with amusement, it was almost frightening. 

“Hello ( insert boyfriend’s name ).” He spoke politely before glancing inside briskly and returning his eyes to your boyfriend. 

“Mind if we come in?” He asked and his words were drenched in honey. Alas, your boyfriend couldn’t resist and he ended up moving the door wider for both of you to enter.

“Sure.” He said nearly childlike as he allowed his eyes to fall on you. It was strange how kind he could be compared to how he usually was when he was abusing you. 

Once inside, your boyfriend closed the door behind you and you moved over to the couch. You twisted your fingers within each other with anticipation as you wondered how this would fan out. The sound of glass breaking pulled you out of your trance and before you realized it they were fighting. After you two had walked through, Jared flashed him a smile before punching him directly in the face. What happened after that, followed up with broken glass, loud punches, a few groans, and numerous amounts of crashing. 

You tried to intervene a few times only to find yourself shoved out of the way. You couldn’t figure out the next thing to do except grab the nearest lamp and smash it relentlessly against the group. The small crash of it, pulled them from their current fight, and their eyes landed on you.

“Stop, just stop, please stop.” You begged and Jared’s eyes fell on you only for a second. 

“Get your stuff.” It wasn’t a question and as soon as the command left his lips, your boyfriend’s eyes went from Jared’s face to you.

“You’re not leaving.” He spoke and it sent a chill through your bones. 

“You aren’t in charge here. It doesn't’ matter what you say.” Jared spoke pulling his hand back into a fist and you could see him fighting the urge to hit your boyfriend again. 

“She’s not going any where.” Your boyfriend spoke confidently. Jared’s eyes narrowed and he returned to his original assault on your boyfriend’s face. “You’re done! You’re done telling her what she can and cannot do!” The distant sound of blows landing clouded your ears and you stood there in confusion. What to do. What to do?

“Are you kidding me?! Are you fucking kidding me?! How long have you been fucking doing this to her? Does it make you feel good?! - - Pussy.” Jared’s eyes flickered to you and there was something there you couldn’t place. 

“I promise, if you walk away with me, right now, I will give you better. I AM better.” he promised, his eyes never leaving yours. You didn’t waste any time getting your things, for you didn’t really have much in the small apartment. A few items of clothing, your computer, your bathroom supplies, and your underclothes. Two bags worth of things were within your hands and you smiled at him. 

“That it?” He questioned. You nodded. 

He opened the door before turning back to your boyfriend and landing a good punch near his chin, knocking him into the living room table and on to the floor. 

“That should give us some time.” He answered, grabbing your bags. “This is your chance. If you don’t want to do this, tell me now.” he urged and you shook your head. There was no going back.  

With the Most Illogical Love

Dear Spock,

I write this to you of necessity. Also, Bones is making me write it. He says that I’m going crazy. I have to say that I pretty much am. You’re making me go insane Spock. You died, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m going mad with grief. I promise that I will do anything in my power as captain to bring you back. I’ll be sitting the captain’s chair, and I’ll look over, expecting to see you at your station. But you aren’t and it’s some other science officer in your place. I don’t even know his name. I don’t care. For all I care, it could be McCoy that was working right beside me, but it wouldn’t be you. Every time that I expect to see you, and see this other guy instead, I get so angry. I want to attack him, and I think that he’s noticed. He thinks that I hate him, and I do. But I don’t. I know that that isn’t logical but it’s true. I hate him, because he’s not you. He’s got black hair, so for a split second I can think that it’s you, and I think that that moment of calm and peace fuels my anger more. But I don’t hate him either. I know that he’s doing his job, and I know that I shouldn’t hate him. I know that it isn’t god damn logical to hate him, but I almost do. I almost would rather not have a science officer here then have to watch someone else do your job.

It’s not logical, Spock. None of it is logical. I hate it. I hate how illogical it is. I hate how much I care. I hate it so much. I’m always angry. I’m always depressed. I’m always empty. I am so emotional, Spock, and I can’t turn it off. I want to lose emotion. I’d rather be totally empty then to feel all of this, and yet I don’t want to lose it. I can’t handle it anymore, but I couldn’t stand to lose it. I hardly even know what ‘it’ is, really. Emotions. Thoughts. Living. Now I’m not about to throw myself outside of the ship, but I’d be lying if the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.

Don’t worry about me, though. Not that you can. You’re dead. That feels weird to say, especially because the crew skirts around it every time that it comes up. Even when it comes to who’s going down to the surface on so-and-so planet. Me, Bones, and… that random science officer that I’ve yet to learn his name. I think that he pities me, Spock. Or hates me. Both. I don’t know. I don’t even care anymore.

Speaking of skirting around subjects. Bones has been reading this over my shoulder when he gets the chance, so I’ve been avoiding the main subject that I think needs to be addressed with this. The main thing- the only thing- that I’ve been able to think about since you died to save the ship. I can’t stop, but if I keep thinking about it, I’ll collapse in on myself like a dying star. So that is why I need to tell you about this, because if I don’t say anything then I’ll actually drive myself crazy, but if I tell someone, it’ll become so much more real. So saying it to you doesn’t really count anymore does it? It doesn’t really mean anything. So I’ll probably drive myself to insanity anyway, but it should feel good to put on paper. I’m still stalling, and if you could read this you’d probably give one of those sighs that you always denied existed. Get on with it, I suppose. And yet, there’s Bones trying to read this over my shoulder, and if I say this now, then I won’t be able to go back from it. As I said, it’ll become real.

Spock. Nobody’s said your name since the funeral. You wouldn’t have liked my eulogy much. It was way too emotional. And yet, I felt it described you well. Human. Your soul is very human. And yes, I know that that isn’t logical at all. Yet that’s how you were. Or perhaps it’s the idealized version of you that I’ve practically created in my head, but it’s how I saw you and whether that was right or not is frankly completely up for grabs. I can see that I’m not the only one that’s been effected by your death. Though I can’t imagine anyone else going through the torture that I’m going through, the pain, the suffering, and the… anger.

McCoy has been telling me about the seven stages of grief. Something about if I know what to expect, it might be easier for me. It wasn’t. Shock, which I got through slower than I thought I would. It was well past your funeral before I got through it. Denial, which left a toll on me. That was the most times I’d glanced over to your station, just in case that you’d come back while I wasn’t looking. Bargaining. That was an odd one. I’ve never been a religious person. You know that. Yet, soon after I realized that you were gone, I felt that there had to be a way to get you back. I prayed every night. I thought that there must be some way. That you could be brought back to me. Guilt was one of the worst. What if. That was the beginning of practically every thought that I had during that stage. What if I’d stopped you from going? What if you’d taken a little less time? What if we’d opened the chamber? What if I’d gone instead? I felt that if I'd done something different, then you might still be alive. Anger was hard for the rest of the crew. I would lash out, as if, instead of being my fault anymore, it was theirs. That was when they pitied me. They pitied how emotionally unstable I was. How so obviously messed up I was. And when I realized how much they pitied me, I fell, almost seamlessly, into the next stage. Depression. It was so sudden, that the crew didn’t even realize how terribly I’d started the day. It wasn’t until one of the ensigns spilled their trey of food all over my shirt that they realized. Because, for the last few weeks, I’d have glared, and started yelling at him, I now just backed away, and walked out of the room. I went back to my quarters, and I stayed there until McCoy practically forced me out. Nothing improved for two weeks. I would sit in my quarters, until someone- usually Bones- would come in to force me to go eat, or go to the bridge. I say would, yet it’s still happening. That was what happened just before now, as I’m sitting in Sick Bay, and Bones is forcing me to write this. The next stage, as McCoy told me, was acceptance. Acceptance. Accepting that you died. Accepting that you’re not coming back. Accepting that it wasn’t my fault. Accepting there was nothing that I, or anyone else could’ve done about it. Accepting that life will go on. And yet, I can’t imagine how anything could get better, how I could possibly accept that you died. That you just aren't here anymore. When I told him this, he gave me that pitying smile that I’ve seen so much in the past few months. And then he told me that nobody feels like that, and once you do, that’s when you’ve already accepted your grief. That didn’t really make me feel any better. I don’t think he thought that it would. But he’d hoped. I think that I pity him. Because he thinks that I’m going to get better. He thinks that this letter will help, but I don’t think that it will. It might, but it’s not going to magically fix me like he thinks it will.

I still won’t just write it. I’m still stalling. I’ve been stalling just saying it for years now, and perhaps you’d guessed it. I don’t know. If you did, then I’m sorry. If you didn't… then I suppose that I have to write it now. Because McCoy says that I have to write my feelings, and this is how I feel. One of those many, many emotions that I can’t contain any longer. One of the emotions that keeps swirling around inside of me. With all of the accumulated shock, denial, bargaining, anger, and depression. Something that feels like hope, but softer. Something that should keep me happy, but can’t because you’re gone.

I’ve fallen in love you, Spock. I don’t feel any better having written it. I haven’t been magically fixed like every movie says you will be when you admit that you love someone. I don’t know how I feel about it. I feel scared. I’m blushing, and I think that Bones has noticed. He’s also noticed that I started crying, which I haven’t done since I truly felt the emotions that I had. I know that I said that there are emotions swirling through me, but it isn’t the same. I feel these emotions, but just the emotions themselves, and not the true feeling of them. Like eating when you have a cold, and you can feel the food in your mouth, but you can’t quite taste the full spectrum of flavor. I feel like I’ve been floating around, not quite experiencing things through my own body.

I do love you. I really do. And somehow, now that I’ve said it, it doesn’t seem to be so huge now. Like wanting a bike for your birthday so bad, but then when you get it, you find that you don’t really care for it anymore. You still like it, but it doesn’t seem like your world is going to end if you don’t get the bike. I love you, and though I accepted that a long time ago, it still seemed like the most important thing happening in my life- second only to your death- and now… while still a big part of my life, it doesn’t seem quite so important.

Did you know? I really don’t know if you knew. I don’t think you did though. You probably would’ve found the logical thing to be to tell me that you knew, and tell me- in the nicest, most professional way possible- that I didn’t have a chance in hell.

I have so much more to say, yet I can’t find the words to say them. I think that Bones knows how much I have to say, because every time I look like I’m about to stop writing, he looks at me with this really intense stare. You know how he is. Knew. I keep fluctuating from present to past tense. I’m talking to you. I’m talking to Spock. It’s been months, except I still haven’t quite gotten used to saying anything about you in past tense.

I think that I understand a bit more now why Bones made me write this. I think that he wanted- and still wants- me to realize what I’m feeling. That I’ve had so many emotions in the past months, that I can’t even sort out what I’m feeling. And that I’ve bottled it in so much that I can’t process any of it anymore. I think that he wanted me to sort it all out so that I can start that process of accepting what happened. Not that I’m anywhere close to accepting any of it yet. It still feels like a whirlpool of emotion, and I feel like I’m about to drown in it. But maybe a little bit slower.

I know that I’ve been using a lot of metaphors and flowery language in this letter thing, and you probably wouldn’t understand half of it, but it’s not as if you’re ever going to read this? I mean. You’re dead. I haven't accepted it per se, but I at least realize that it’s a fact, and that nothing I can do can change that. Just like I can’t change the fact that I’m in love with you. I practically went through the whole seven stages of grief when I first realized that I was in love with you. First came the shock. I was definitely surprised by that realization. I never really expected to fall in love with a Vulcan- however human his soul might be. The denial came soon after, trying to tell myself that I couldn’t love you. That I didn’t care for you like that. I knew that we were definitely friends, that I loved you, but not that I'd fallen in love with you. Bargaining wasn’t quite so much bargaining as, I realized that I loved you, but I was trying to get myself to fall out of love with you. It didn’t work- obviously. The more that I tried to get myself to not be in love with you, the more in love with you I fell. It sounds poetic, and not the logical thing, but it happened. Guilt felt very different too. I felt guilty that I had to put you through the hardships of friend-zoning someone. I’d been there before, and it feels terrible. It’s so awkward, and you eventually just drift away from the person. I didn’t want to make you have to do that. That feeling transferred through the rest of it all, up until I did accept it. Anger was strange. I wasn’t mad at you, not in the slightest. If anything, I was pissed at myself for letting myself fall in love with you. Like it was my fault somehow. The depression was more internalized. I know that you noticed that. You asked me if I was feeling alright. That meant so much to me, and you didn’t even realize that. I realized in that moment that it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t affect our relationship any. It wouldn’t break any part of that, because our bond was so strong that it couldn’t be torn by how I felt. I realized that I shouldn’t be down about how I felt, that I really didn’t have any way to change it, and that I shouldn’t get depressed about the fact that I’d fallen in love with someone. Falling in love sounds like such a beautiful and elegant process, but I realize now how messy it is. With every other person that I’ve fallen in love with, it was that nice feeling like you were just falling into a bed of flowers. I know that you don’t really understand, because I don’t think that you’ve ever really fallen in love. I don’t really know. Did you love T'Pring? I don’t know at all. You’ve never really talked about that at all. You didn’t even want to talk about it during Pon Farr. I could understand this, but I can’t say that I didn’t feel hurt by it. You were dying and you didn’t bother to tell me.

I never quite understood the Vulcan ways as much as I should have. You probably explained more to me than any Vulcan had told a human- other than the rare instances like your mother and father. I never quite understood how lucky I was. That you would tell me about the Pon Farr, even though it was frowned upon by Vulcan cultural standards. That I even got to know you. For all I know, there’s a chance that I could have never met you. Never have gotten to know you, and never have fallen in love with you. I- and the rest of the crew- would’ve died in your place, if not long before that. The whole crew was effected, as I said, and none as much as me.

McCoy is joking with me, and telling me that I don’t have to write a ten page paper. I know that it was a joke, but I almost feel like I’d have to write a ten page paper to completely say how I feel. I plan to start from the beginning. I plan to spill my heart out on this paper, as many pages as it takes. However much you might scoff at the blatant display of emotion, I plan to write down exactly what happened.

People say that you know when you fall in love. I don’t think that that was the case for me. There was definitely a moment in which I realized that I was in love, but I know that I’d fallen in love with you far before that. I don’t think that even Bones- who I’m guessing figured out long ago that I’d fallen for you- knew how early, or how hard I’d fallen. As I said, there was an obvious moment that I realized I’d fallen for you- and even though the denial of it came swiftly after, I still realized that what I felt for you wasn’t just friendship. That moment wasn’t too far into what was supposed to be a relaxing shore leave. That planet that produced your dreams. I never quite told anyone why I chose to stay, but I chose to stay- completely out of denial- for Ruth. I first saw her there, and I realized that I no longer felt anything. I realized that I didn’t want her anymore. I wanted you. The phase of shock barely even took an hour, and the denial hit hard. I chose to stay for Ruth, I told myself over and over again, even though I spent most of my time there with you. That’s why I seemed so off. You even asked me about it, I remember. You thought that I should head back to the ship and lie down in my quarters. You thought that I must’ve been ill, or that I’d hurt myself running away from the samurai. You never suspected that it was because I was in love. You were so kind to me. You even offered to bring me back to the ship, more concerned about my health then you were about getting some much needed rest and leisure in. You always did work yourself too hard. That was something I loved and hated about you. You were so determined- and, daresay, passionate- about your work. You always thought about your job, and about the rest of the crew before you thought about your own safety. It was my health over yours because I was the captain, and Star Fleet says to protect the captain’s life over your own.

My hands are now shaking as I write this, thinking about all of the things that made you such a beautiful soul. The things that made me fall for you in the first place, and then keep falling deeper and deeper still. I don’t think that I’ll ever quite stop loving you. Whether I do- as McCoy says I will- move on one day, and stop grieving, I will still love you. I’ll never quite let go of that hope that still lingers that you did love me. I think that’s something good out of all of this. I still have that hope. I can still hang on to that dream that you loved me, that you cared for me the way that I still care about you. While I know that most of this is completely inconceivable, I still have that hope that, had I told you, you might’ve said similarly. I never got the complete rejection, so I can never really know for sure what exactly it was that you felt for me. Whether it was a friendly affection, brotherly, or something more, I will never know. And I think that I’m at peace with that, at the very least. I think that I came to my peace with that before you die. I knew that I would never be able to pluck up the courage to tell you anything, so I came to peace with the fact that I would never know what your exact reaction would be. I’m glad that I’ve made that peace. I have one solid think amidst this tossing, and whirling sea of grief. One fact I know will never change- one that I’ve gotten peace with.

Once again, I’m sure that you’d be scoffing if you actually could read this. Not that you would be allowed to, even if you were alive. I wouldn’t let you. No offense to you, but I’m not really the kind of person who’d be likely to spill their guts out to someone, if I’m sure that they don’t feel similarly. And once again, no offense to you, but I have little faith that you’d fallen in love with me. I can’t tell you how much I wish you did- had, whatever- even if I were only to find out in the minutes before your death. I feel like that might’ve given me a bit of peace. But deep down, I know that that’s a load of bullshit. It would’ve made me angry. I would’ve wallowed in the anger and misery for not knowing how you felt until minutes before I lost you. Yet I kid myself that it would be more painful than the pain of not knowing either way- something that I’ve already blessed as a good thing. Sometimes I find the human race- myself in particular- even more illogical than you ever voiced. How illogical this letter would seem to you. I am writing to a dead man. On doctor’s orders. And I’m spewing out the most illogical things, aren’t I? Sometimes, the things that I write here barely even make sense to myself. But nevertheless I still write them. Because I’m trying to get down those raw feelings that are now bubbling up for the first time in a long time.

I feel a little bit uneasy writing this. Like a character in a horror movie might feel- but not at all. It’s an odd feeling writing to a dead man. I don’t know how to feel about it. As I sit here in Sick Bay, I know that I should feel like its familiar, but somehow I feel like I’m sitting at an old friend’s house. The feeling that I know where I am, and that there are familiar aspects to it, but there are oddly subtle things that have been changed, and that’s making it very uneasy as a whole. I’m writing to a dead man. That’s hit me hard as I write this, and I can feel McCoy’s pitying stare when he knows that I’m not looking. I think that he knows how much this has affected me. I can tell by how he looks at me when he thinks I can’t see him. He looks at me like he sort of knows how I feel, and… I do know that he pities me. Because however much he thinks that he understands what I’m going through with your death, he really does think that I’m pitiful. And I am. I spend half of my time sitting in my quarters, lying on my back, and just staring at the ceiling. I want to cry, but I can’t. It feels like I used all of my tears before I have none left to use. Used to. I’m crying now. That’s past tense. God, it feels like I don’t even understand past tense versus present tense anymore. Like my entire kindergarten year was put to waste. I can’t discern when it’s okay to say write about this and talk about you in past tense, or present tense. I don’t want to use past tense. It makes it feel final in a way that even the funeral didn’t make it. Past tense means that you’re not coming back. Past tense means you’re not here. Past tense is too final. I can’t do it in past tense, because, even though I got over that stage, it still feels like I’d be admitting defeat. Like I was saying ‘yeah, he’s dead, so what, who cares?’ And that’s not even remotely how I feel. I feel that I am going to bring you back whatever it takes, and at whatever consequence to me. I would give my own life to let you live the rest of yours in a heartbeat. And I know that’s not logical, but I don’t give a damn. Love isn’t logical. Love doesn’t make any sense to anyone. You fall in love, and you can’t help it. You fall in love with whoever your heart wants. Your heart doesn’t care if it isn’t logical. When you fall in love, you don’t care if it would take years to be with them. When you fall in love, you don’t care about your own safety, as long as they are safe. When I fell in love, I didn’t care if I had to travel to the end of the universe and back to show it, I loved you. I still love you. I can’t help falling in love with you, Spock. I can practically hear your voice, telling me how illogical human emotions are, but this one, this one isn’t human. Your dad loves your mother. You can see it. Everyone should see that. Except Vulcan’s are so god damn blinded by the fact that emotions are so ‘illogical’ and ’human’ that they can’t see that Vulcan’s can fall in love. I’m not trying to say that you fell in love with me, and I’m not trying to convince you that love is logical. Wouldn’t be trying to. I don’t know anymore. What I’m trying to say is that Vulcan’s are really hypocritical if they want to tell us humans that we can’t fall in love, when they’re doing it. Even freaking T'Pring fell in love with Stonn. How are Vulcans creatures of pure logic, if many of them do something that’s so illogical? Once again, love isn’t logical. You question- used to question- how I could possibly be so illogical. Yet you didn’t even know the most illogical thing that I’ve ever done. I fell in love with you. That’s how illogical I am. I am so illogical, that I fell in love with my first officer. I fell in love with a Vulcan. I fell in love with that human soul. I fell in love with you, Spock.

I fell in love with you. I still love you. I’m so in love with you that it physically hurt me to lose you. I will find you again. That’s what writing this letter forced me to see. I will bring you back to life at whatever cost. Because that’s what love is.

With the most illogical love,



Dear Jim,

It scares me that I can’t remember some things. I want to remember. I know that I will eventually remember it all, and that it’s most likely that I just need to wait a little bit, but I am still scared. The process took me down to my roots, and, as much as I dislike saying it, I have humanity in my roots.

How do you feel? That’s what my mother wants to know. How do I feel? How do I describe how I feel? I feel scared, but I can’t tell my mother that. I feel confused, but I can’t tell my mother that. I feel many other things, but I can’t tell anyone that.

I feel fine. That’s what I told her. And yet I don’t. I feel worse than fine, and better than fine, and I don’t understand it. I am glad that I’m beginning to remember everything. I am glad that you don’t treat me any different for have losing my memory.

I was going through the ships logs and documents, in some sort of effort to remember even more of what I learned before, when I found your letter. I must say that I have a lot to write about the content in your letter. I think that the first thing that I want to say is that I did not know about your feelings toward me. Now that I know, I’m finding that much more obvious than I think that I found it before. As I said, I did not notice. I believe that the reasoning behind this was that I simply was not looking for it. I didn’t think it possible for anyone to love me, an unemotional Vulcan. You touched on this. After addressing that, a question that you asked several times throughout your letter, I find myself compelled to write my response to the rest of the letter, some of the things that were going through my head as I read it.

Are you really going mad, Jim? I struggle to understand why one would start to drive oneself insane, because of something that was done to save an entire ship. As I said, and you repeated to me back on Vulcan, the needs of the many do outweigh the needs of the few. I presume that you speak under the influence of survivor’s guilt. This is shown in many ways. You find yourself feeling guilty about someone else dying to save you. You seem to find yourself in a position where you’d rather yourself be dead than me. I want to tell you that you need not feel that, especially now that I’m alive. I wish I could go back, and tell you not to worry. Not to feel guilty. I know you probably don’t like me saying that it’s not logical to hate the science officer who replaced me, and it’s not, yet I feel a twinge of that anger myself. I do not like that he took my place. I feel an odd sort of attachment to my station, and, as you say, seeing someone else there pushes an unfortunate emotional response from me.

Please don’t throw yourself off of the ship.

About the science officer, you probably should have learned his name. It is Terry Nelson. As well as learning about everything he needed to know about things related to being a science officer, he also dabbled in psychology. So, yes, Jim, I can answer that he probably did notice everything that you were doing. I do not, however, think that he hates you for it. It’s a very strong possibility that he pities you however. That isn’t a bad thing though. He saw that you were going through a rough time, and he felt bad about that. It is a very human emotion, pity is. If it is not your fault that a person isn’t happy, then you haven’t much reason to feel bad.

Has no one really said anything about me since the funeral? That seems a little bit odd to me. It seems like talking should help. Which is why McCoy is making you write this. There was an audio file of your eulogy. You are wrong however. While it was definitely rather off putting to listen to my own eulogy, I did like it. It did fit me. And yet it didn’t. I am not an emotional person, Jim. Rather, I’m not emotional for a human. I am for a Vulcan. I suppress my emotions as much as I possibly can. It’s just what I do. One of the only times you’ve seen genuine emotions from me was from the time of the Pon Farr. While this is one of the most emotional times for Vulcans, it was almost made worse by my human heritage. Humans are innately more emotional than Vulcans are. When I thought I’d killed you, I felt terrible. I felt worse than that. I felt what you must have felt after I died, except worse, because I thought that I had been the one to kill you. When I turned around, and I saw you, and… it might not have looked it, but I lost it a little bit. You saw me smile, and that was all that I would show you. I felt so much more. Like what you describe later on in your letter. I felt happy, and yet I still had all of the guilt that I’d gotten from killing you in the first place. I think it was because I still felt bad that I had taken your life, and even though you were alive I felt that the deed that I had done hadn’t gone away, but almost that you had come back and were going to give me grief for killing you. You didn’t though. I think that that makes you special.

The seven stages of grief. It’s interesting how everyone goes through the same process with grief. The same seven general seven stages. Did the amount of time that was given between me dying, and then coming back to life give you time to accept it? Had you accepted my death before I came back to life? If I died again, soon, then would you start back over with shock? Or would you start again with depression, or acceptance, if you got there?

Stalling. I’ve always found the concept fascinatingly illogical. You know that you’re going to have to end up saying something about whatever it is anyway, and yet you try to waste time by rambling on about whatever in an attempt to not have to tell whoever it is that you’re needing to tell whatever it is. It just prolongs the awkwardness, the tension, and pain.

You fell in love with me. Jim, you might feel now that this isn’t such a big deal, and yet to me, it feels like everything. You loved me, you still love me, and I see that now. Now that I haven’t been (quite illogically) telling myself that you don’t. Didn’t. Even I seem to be confusing tenses.

I really didn’t know. If I did, you would have known, and now that I do know, I guarantee that you will know that I do. Because you have a chance. You have a million chances in hell, earth and heaven. Because I’ve fallen in love with you. It didn’t make sense at first, but I love you and I can see that now. I feel that I should write pages and pages about it, but I don’t have to, because it’s true even in the simplest form. I love you. And that’s how it is, and there’s nothing more to say. Except there’s everything left to say. But there’s no way to write it down on paper.

You understand me, and we have a mutual realization how hard it is to write down how you feel on paper. It’s easier in some senses, but impossible in others. I know how Bones is, Jim. I know. At one point, at the point that you wrote this, it technically was correct to say knew, but now I know. You don’t have to use past tense anymore. It’s okay to say that I know.

McCoy is not making me write this. I think that I find this odd that I write this of my own free will. I am not emotional. And yet, writing this, I feel myself waxing a bit poetic. I’m obviously not going to start on with saying things about ‘love being a gently blossoming flower’, because that isn’t how it works for me at all. My love for you is more like a ship crashing down to a planet. From far away, it looks almost peaceful and at ease. But up close, from a personal point of view, it’s obviously crashing and everything is in a state of panic.

You have been using metaphors and figurative language quite extensively. Yet so have I. I have understood most of them. Even the simile using having a cold and eating. I did read it, which you obviously didn’t expect, and I am now wondering how you’re going to react when you find out that I have. I’m not sure you will be angry, but I’m not even sure you remember writing this. It’s been a long time. I have abandoned this letter more times than you will know, and now it’s been about three months since I started it, which makes for around eight months since you wrote it. Ten since I died. I too, went through some of the same seven stages when I realized my love for you. For me, the shock was more shock that I'd fallen in love with you, rather than I’d fallen in love with you. It felt very natural that, if I had to fall in love with someone, that I would fall in love with you. Denial was practically the same illogical step. I could not believe that I had, once again, fallen in love with you, and I denied it with all of my will. Bargaining was less for me trying to fall out of love (as you described it) than trying to ignore the feelings that I had. To shove them down into some deep corner of my mind and never think about them ever. You describe yours as 'The more I tried to get myself to not be in love with you, the more in love with you I fell.’ While it was a different scenario, it describes what I went through rather well. The more I tried to shove down my emotions- and mind you, I wasn’t just pushing down my love, I ended up somehow figuring out that ignoring all feeling worked better- the more I felt it bubbling it up. And the more it came up, the more I tried to shove it down. It became a circle of emotion and no emotions that never ended, until the guilt set in. The guilt for me, as well as the guilt that you talked about, included the feeling of betrayal of the Vulcan species. I feel like I’ve already betrayed them by denying the position at the Science Academy, and the fact that I have fallen in love with a human man feels like betraying them even more. Vulcans are a very logical species, and while their method for choosing a mate is very illogical, the mate that they pick is quite logical. An individual who does not have a record of family illness, an individual who has good genes. Someone who can continue the family line. A man choosing another man as a mate is so illogical, it’s almost laughable. As it is, my father was frowned upon for choosing a human woman as a mate. So what would the Vulcan race think if I, someone who already chose Star Fleet over the Science Academy, who is already of human decent, chose not only a human mate, but a male one too? That guilt consumed me for a while. Until I finally confided in my mother. She told me a story that she’d been taught in history class back on Earth. Back when they were still using the Gregorian calendar, the United States of America legalized same-sex marriage in all states on July 26th of 2015. She told me that for years before that there were individual states that were legalizing it one by one, and same-sex couples and other people supporting the legislature in other states were fighting for their rights. My mother told me that there were some states that frowned deeply upon same-sex couples, and instead of just not having a law that legalized marriage, they chose to go further and ban it all together. And still there were people in those states that wanted to get married. Here my mother finally got to her point. She said that even though the majority of people in these states had deep-seated homophobia, there were still many people who flaunted their same-sex partners in public. People would taunt them, some would even go as far as attacking them, even killing them, and yet still people would go out and tell the world that they had their rights, and they were going to stand by that until someone did something about it, and it would be made legal for them to marry their partner. Even though society told them that what they were doing was wrong, they did it anyway, and- as my mother quite eloquently put it- gave a big 'screw you’ to society. While I still wallowed in my guilt for a few more days, it was still my mother’s story that pulled me out of it. I believe that my anger might have blended together with guilt for I skipped right over that I could go straight into depression, which wasn’t really depression for me, but rather wallowing in my own self-pity. It was very much internalized, just as yours was, and likewise, it was the same logic that dragged me out of mine that got you out of yours. Why should I feel bad about something that I couldn’t help? Something that happens, and people- for the most part- view as a good thing? That’s how I rid myself of that self-pity that held me down for longer than it should have. Falling in love with someone, you say, sounds beautiful and elegant, and it does. Except on Vulcan, it almost has negative connotations. Emotional connotations. If I were to go back to Vulcan, and tell everyone that I’d fallen in love, I would be at risk of the same 'experiments’ that happened back when I was a child. A 'logical’ reason for bullying me, really. A name that covered up their teasing. They wanted to see how hard they had to push me for me to give an emotional response. They made fun of me. It took to them making fun of my mother for me to give them the emotional response that they wanted so much from me, and they didn’t bully me after that. There wasn’t a logical reason. Now, if I tell them that I’ve fallen in love, there would be that same 'logical’ reason to bully me. To elicit an emotional response. They could repeat the experiments that they conducted as a child. I am now an adult. Adult humans are less emotional, and less compulsive than children. If I went back and told them that I’d fallen in love, it would remind them that I was the child who stands out on Vulcan and Earth, and now the adult who is in Star fleet because I have no true home. If I went back to Vulcan right now, and told them that I’d fallen in love, then that would be the final proof that I don’t belong on Vulcan. You discuss later that my father fell in love with my mother, and I realize that. I see that. But none on Vulcan see that. They all feel that that isn’t something that we can talk about. Many Vulcan’s actively say that they are so unemotional that they don’t fall in love. Jim, I love you and sometimes I want to tell everyone that, but I don’t because, however illogical this sounds, I am stricken by how illogically logical it is. Peer pressure. That’s what it is. It’s so illogical, but I can’t help but to bend to it. I want to tell my father, but I feel like he would be disappointed. Even though I know that he wouldn’t be. Because he fell in love with a human, just like I did. And I know that it’s okay. And I know that he knows that it’s okay. But there’s such a disconnect between he and I that I can’t bring myself to tell him like I did with my mother.

You understand Vulcan ways more than you should. I tell you more than I really should have. As you said, I probably have told you more than any other Vulcan has told other people. You saw how T'Pau reacted when I told her that you and McCoy were my friends. She made me vouch for your behavior and she still didn’t trust you. She didn’t like that you were human. I told you about it because you were my friend. My T'hy'la. That was something that I don’t regret.

Even though you didn’t write ten pages, I feel that six sufficed. While there were only six pages of writing, there was so much more that was put into, emotionally, that I was able to derive from what you wrote. Like I said previously, sometimes you don’t need to write pages upon pages to explain how you feel. Sometimes saying that you love a person just takes three words. Sometimes it just takes a glance. Sometimes it takes a person’s mere presence to tell someone that they love them.

You’re not alone in not knowing when you fell in love. I don’t know either. Again, as with you, I remember when I realized that I fell in love with you. For me, it was when I, Dr. McCoy, and Mr. Scott were trapped on the New Paris colony. I thought that I was going to die down there, and that was when I realized that I had to get back. That I had to get back to you. And that’s why I pulled the stunt about expending all of the fuel as a sort of flare. That’s the emotional outburst that happened. It wasn’t fear of death like everyone assumed it was, it was fear of not being able to see you again. You asked me why I did it, and I was planning to tell the truth, but then I didn’t. I didn't lie, but I just said that it was logical, and looking back, it was. Had I not done it, we would have died for sure. If I had, then we had a slight chance of living. A slight chance of seeing you again. I have to say that I cannot remember asking you if you were okay. The thing is, that I have asked you so many times if you are okay, that that time must not have made much of an impression. Jim, you are not a careful person. You get into trouble way more than any other Star Fleet officer, and I can’t say that I approve. I don’t want you getting into more trouble than you can handle. I work myself too hard? Do I really? I don’t really notice. I always tried- and still try- my best. I am determined. And I am passionate about my work. If I were not, I would’ve taken the job at the Science Academy, and I would’ve never applied to Star Fleet. It does not offend me when you speak of the more human side of me as much as I let on. I do hold your health over mine, but for more reasons than you state. It is because you are the captain, and Star Fleet does say to protect the life of your captain over your own, but that is not the only reason. For one, I feel that you get into more trouble than I do, and because of that, I not only consider the possibility that you might’ve gotten hurt on a mission, I practically assume that you have gotten hurt. I also feel that you are a better individual than I am. I feel that, given the choice of you living, or me, I would choose you simply because you are a good person. I did that once already, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I fell in love with you, and that holds your life over mine more than rules and regulations could. I would- and in fact, regularly do- break numerous Star Fleet regulations for you. I should care, but I don’t. Because I love you.

I do not understand people who marry someone, claim that they are their soulmate, and then have relations with somebody else. Whether they are cheating on the person, or the person is long dead, I do not understand someone who could just move on if they already have, or had, a supposed 'soulmate’. I will love you until the end of all days, because you are my T'hy'la. I do love you, Jim. You expected rejection from me, had you told me your feelings. I did too. That’s one of the reasons that I did not tell you when I got back from the New Paris colony. I thought that you would reject me, completely disgusted with me. I thought that you would hate me, and reject me right there on the bridge, and I couldn’t take that. I feel a friendly affection. I feel a brotherly affection. And I do feel that something more. You will learn. I plan to tell you this. I plan to give this letter to you. I plan. I planned to tell you after coming back from the New Paris colony. So I don’t know for sure if it will happen. There’s more of a chance now because I know now how you feel. Because I don’t believe that you would trick me with something like this. Because I could feel the emotion that you put into your own letter.

I have not scoffed once while reading your letter. I’m sorry that I’ve read it. It really does feel like a major invasion of your privacy, and I apologize for that. I don’t take any offence to you thinking that I hadn’t fallen in love with you, because that’s what I wanted to you think. I wanted you to think that I had a simple friendly, or brotherly bond to you, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. I think that it’s good thing that you didn’t know, just to find out my feelings mere minutes before I died. It would, as you say, tear you apart. You would wonder what would’ve happened had you told me months, or years before then. You are writing to a dead man, but it isn’t as illogical as you might think. I think that I would probably do the same were our roles reversed. The things that you are writing would probably be considered illogical by the average Vulcan. But I am not the average Vulcan. To me, every word that you write makes sense. I can understand how you feel, even if it’s just in the most primitive way possible. It makes sense in the way that falling in love makes sense. You feel the emotions, and yet you don’t understand them at all. You don’t understand how it makes sense, but you feel that it does, somehow. And honestly, the average Vulcan would probably think that the things that I am writing are very illogical too.

I do not, however understand how you might feel like a character in a horror movie. I understand how you might feel odd writing to someone that you presume to be dead, but feeling like you were in a horror film does not make sense to me. Is it that you simply felt uneasy writing it, so you felt that that was the best way to describe that uneasiness? Or is it more than that? Something about how you feel something supernatural about writing to a dead man? What is it, precisely, that makes you feel so uneasy about writing to me? It is something that McCoy felt was necessary to your sanity, and I feel the same way. Had you not written to me, then you probably would have buried how you felt, and never expressed your feelings, bottling it all up like I tried to do. Nothing would have been worse than that. Jim, I don’t know how you would have reacted to bottling it up like that, because it certainly didn’t work for me. It felt like I was going to explode, and I had had experience bottling up major emotions before. I touched on how the other Vulcan kids- the pure Vulcan kids, as they liked to remind me- would do 'experiments’ on how much it took to get an emotional outburst from me. I had to bottle up so much of that feeling- the anger that they caused me, and even after that, I still broke when it came to keeping this in. I couldn’t handle this one pure emotion, even when I spent a lot of my childhood keeping all of that rage and frustration inside. I did eventually break then, but it isn’t something that I like to think about a lot. I could tell that my father was disappointed, even though he didn’t show it. My mother was angry when she found out for certain that the other kids were teasing me. She’d guessed that they were long before, but the conclusive proof really made her mad. I remember she told me that it was okay- it was good even- to have emotions, but that I couldn’t let those emotions control me. I kept those words with me for a very long time. I still think about that every so often. It became a mantra of sorts for me when I was dealing with suppressing the love that I finally admitted that I felt for you. Don’t let your emotions control you, Spock. You can feel what you feel, but don’t let that get the better of you. Returning now to something that you say, about how it’s hit you hard that I died, I can feel the same about that. Reading your letter really cemented it for me that I had died. I didn’t really have much physically proof that I had, and reading you letter was a realization that I wasn’t the only one that was affected by my death. Because nothing had changed when I came back, I barely realized that anybody else’s whole world was turned upside down. But then I read your letter. And it came to my attention that you were affected just as much as I was, even if it was in a different way. I see that your whole life changed completely. You say that you spent your days lying in your quarters, feeling nothing, but having so many emotions, and I can understand how that feels. It’s hard. It’s exactly how you describe. Feeling the food in your mouth, but not being able to taste it. I’ll take it one step further and say that it’s like eating bad food when you have a cold. You wish that you were able to taste, but you’re also kind of glad that you can’t. You say that love isn’t logical. And it isn’t. Except the feeling of love feels very logical. It feels right. And now I know how illogical you are, and it makes me happy. I feel great.

I fell in love with you, and I am still in love with you. We have found each other, and that means a lot in this world. This letter has made me realize that I need to tell you. I need to give you this letter. I need to be with you. Because that’s what love is.

With the most logical love,


This is so heartfelt, I’m stunned. Hats off to you khoshekh42

(Submitted by @khoshekh42)

Nightmare  - Pete Dunne

This is a prompt drabble requested with the prompt “I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you were okay.” by @indywrestlinglover-life

Word Count: 0.7k

A/N: It’s a bit angsty but also fluffy.. a bit. I know it should be a drabble but I got carried away.

You can find my other writings here: Masterlist

Tagging: @panic-angel3314 @kingslayers-angel @m-a-t-91 @blondekel77 @mandazord @baronesscorbin @panda-girl1999 @kaitlynwwefan @itsnethbellins @rebelfleur22 @ambrosegirlforever @thebadchic @athoughtfulmindwrites @smolsassynalilsmartassy @nickysmum1909 @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @princess3733 @nopeitsnat @karleedaniels27 @earl-01 @vipervenomisgoodforyou @wrestlingnoob @devittsbalor @houndofjustice-imagines @sabrina-blyton @anerdysouthernbelle @tyferbebe @wrasslin-rollins @anglophilestymie @irish-moonchild @kakakatey @therealfivefeetoffuckingfury @monsteramongmen-tamer @baybayforlife @devitts-girl @thirstiswet @princesstoniii @kurominonsense @crossfitjesusinskinnyjeans @helluvawriter Please let me know if you want to be added to or taken off this list.

He woke up in panic, standing upright in his bed. Looking around, he saw nothing but darkness. Only a flicker of the moonlight shining through the little holes in the blinds.

Glancing at the clock on his nightstand, he could see that it was 3am. It’s too early to wake her up. Besides, he doesn’t even know if she was alone.

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anonymous asked:

Idea: Reader hurts her foot/ankle and Trevor feels really bad and responsible since they were hanging out when it happened - he dotes on her real hard much to her amusement.

Word Count: 495

“Trevor,” you laughed as he actually fluffed your pillow underneath your ankle.

“What?” he looked up at you bewildered but did not stop. “Too much. It’s too much. I’ll defluff.”

He made a move for the pillow and you grabbed his hand as you told him, “Trevor, I’m fine. You’re golden. Just sit down. We’re all waiting for you.”

“Yeah. If you could stop drooling all over Y/N for a minute so we can actually record something,” Michael chimed in from beside you.

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Babies are a lot of work.  

Sidney isn’t stupid—he wasn’t expecting it to be easy but he’d had no grasp of just how much work it would be.  

It’s not even like he’s doing most of the work—Mom is.  But every time he takes over so Mom can take a quick shower or eat some food or just use the bathroom, five minutes feels like and hour and he comes out of it exhausted.  He can’t imagine how Mom isn’t falling asleep standing up.  

She just chuckles at him when he says as much.  “It goes too fast, Sidney,” She says with a fond smile, ruffling his hair.  “I’m just trying to soak it up.”

Sidney has no idea what that means.  Maybe Mom is too sleep deprived to make sense anymore.

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Pidgance childhood friends AU

In this AU Lance was born in Altea, California and lived there until he was ten, his best friend being the spunky Katie Holt who he lost touch with when he was uprooted to Florida to be closer to family. Eight years later they are reunited at college, but seeing as the other had changed so much they don’t recognize each other right away

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His Killer Personality (Caution!)

Another collaboration but this time with my good friend @imunsavy (Follow her for part 2!)

Summary: A family orientated man by the name of Hoseok has had enough with the pests of his daily life so he decides to take matters into his own hands. Now, don’t be fooled by his personality, his temper is not something you should take lightly.

Warning!: Does contain blood, gore, killing of a family including a kid. Please just don’t read if you don’t handle horror or terror well. This is all make believe so please take it with a grain of salt.

“Alright baby, I’m off to work!” Hoseok said cheerfully, suit-ready and case in hand. 

“Bye honey!” You said to him as she kissed him on the cheek. 

“Bye dad!” The kids harmonized a farewell. 

Hoseok was well off. Window down, wind flowing through his hair. He waved to his neighbors and even to strangers. Everything seemed right with the world until, that is, some fucker cut him off and almost made him crash his vehicle. This didn’t make Hoseoks blood boil, oh no, the man who cut him off also decided to yell some profanities and Hoseok never stood for bad words. No bad words equals no bad kids and he didn’t want bad kids. Ironic really.

Hoseok followed the guy but not to the point to where he was visible. The man was on his way to an office building. “Yep everything’s there.” Hoseok said as he threw his arm over the seat and scrummaged through a bag of supplies.

Once they parked, he quickly got down from his car, grabbing a rag and a chloroform bottle. He lightly drenched the fabric and quietly tip toed towards the man who seemed to be trying to fix his suit. He lunged forward and shoved the rag in to the mans face. He then proceeded to drag him to the trunk of Hoseoks car. “Fuck dude, you should’ve jogged to your building instead of taking a car you don’t even know how to drive.” He grunted as he shoved him in. Before leaving he went back to close the mans car and put the dropped items back inside. “Okay, time to hit the rode~” he wiped his hands together.

He drove back to his home, slowly edging towards the house making sure his wife already left to take the kids to school. “It’s a go.” He smirked to himself as he parked in reverse onto the driveway. “There’s no way I can carry him to the shed… the wAGON!” He rushed through the garage to the side door leading into the backyard. He grabbed his daughters, Nani, wagon and brought it back to the car. “Alright! Time to get packing. Oh shit… did you get heavier? Oh my god.” He struggled with laying the man on the cart and dragging it to the other side of the backyard to where the shed was. Now this shed wasn’t a regular shed. It was a two story shed. All of his equipment and necessities to expose of the body was down under.

He lifted the toy up diagonally allowing the body to flop onto the ground. He left the wagon outside and shut the door. He then stepped all over the wooden floor to find the broken entry way. One of the boards creaked signaling for him to lift it up slowly and push the body down the stares. “Ooh, that’s gonna leave some bruises… good thing you won’t be alive to see it, huh bud?“ 

Hoseok dragged the body to the procedure table he found in some dumpster behind a hospital. He used all his might to push the man up and onto the platform. He strapped down the legs and arms, as well as duck taping his mouth just in case he decided to wake up and cause a ruckus.

He walked away from the unconscious sack to his supply table. He had all types of knives and other sharp objects out for display. He also had gloves and a painters hazmat jump suit hung up. He carefully put it on but stopped half way once he realized he forgot to call into work sick. He grabbed his phone from his back pocket and proceeded to call the management. "Hey yeah, it’s Hoseok Jung from quadrant 4B… I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it today. Bad case of the poops. Shouldn’t have ate those tacos yesterday, know what I’m sayin. Hehe. Yeah anyway, bad diarrhea…. oh yep it’s hitting me right now. Go to go!” He hung up quickly and went on with finishing his wardrobe. He carefully put on the jumpsuit insuring that he won’t wrinkle any of his clothes he was already wearing. Next on was the gloves. He wasn’t sure to take off his wedding ring or leaving it on. The safest choice was leaving it so that’s what he did. 

He grabbed his trailing point blade and brought it to his victim. He checked his pulse to see if the push down the stairs had killed him or if he was still knocked out. Fortunately for Hoseok, the man was still breathing. Hoseok slowly began to cut off pieces of fat from the mans calves and upper arms. This triggered the man to wake up and freak out. “You better be quiet unless you want this to last longer~” Hoseok said in a singing tone. The man didn’t apply which led to Hoseok grabbing the guys ankle and elbowing his knee as hard as he could to break the leg. His victim screamed in mortifying pain which didn’t sit well with Hoseok at all. “I know bud, but I told you. It’s really you’re fault ya know? With the car situation and the bad words… this is why you gotta be nice to people. So you don’t end up in situations like this! Agh you’re getting blood everywhere!" 

Hoseok then sliced off one ear which made a tuneless squirt sound due to the blood gushing out. The harsh screams carried on through the morning. But Hoseok had the walls soundproof as he was always prepared and neat about everything. The man lost his other ear along with his toes, one by one. By this point the man surely had to have bled out, right? Wrong. He was just knocked out once again. He woke up from his pain induced slumber and continued to scramble and scream. Hoseok had had enough of the mans immature actions. He went back to his supplies and grabbed a clip point blade. "You just never wanna stop running your mouth, do ya?” He turned around and headed towards the mans upper body. He struck the knife on the edge of the males neck and smoothed it to the other side. All that could be heard was gurgles and spurt the body gave off. “Glad I put down some plastic on the floor so you wouldn’t mess it up! You’re such a trouble maker, aren’t you?~ Bet you were a bad boy in high school and bullied people, right? You guys were never very friendly. A real shame considering everyone has potential to be nice.”

Hoseok pulled up his plastic sleeve to check the time. “Oh my, Y/n almost home from taking the kids to school. I should clean myself up.” And just as he said that last sentence he realized the blood from the injured party had gotten on the cuff of his work shirt . “No… no! No! No! Y/n gave me this shirt! Are you fucking kidding me! You bastard!” He kicked the table in anger making it and the body fall over, splashing on the blood from beneath them. An idea popped into his head as he looked at the lifeless meat. “I bet your wife would take care of these stains..” he said ending it with a smirk. He checked the mans pockets for any sort of identification. He found his wallet that contained his ID and business card. The business card had a house address. “Well lucky me. I know just the place to find her… Mr. Gyun” he left the body there and changed out of his protective gear. 

He knew exactly where the house was. It wasn’t quite far really, just a few blocks down. The neighborhood was nice. Big houses. Big cars. Hoseok could’ve had these type of things but the big ring he got his wife was better. He would’ve traded anything to see a smile on her face. And he knew that if his anniversary shirt was dirty… well it would make her anything but happy. 

Hoseok parked down the street to from where the house was and made his way. He rang the doorbell awaiting for a women to pop up. After a couple of minutes he got frustrated and started knocking. Finally a lady opened the door. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized, “My daughters sick so I’m taking care of her at the moment. Is there anything you need?” She asked kindly. 

“Yeah I’m going to need you to just shut the fuck up for a moment." 

"E-excuse me?” She was frozen in confusion. 

“Did you not hear me correctly bitch?” He said a bit louder. “Now back the fuck up.” He pushed her back, forcing her to fall on the ground. He walked into the house and closed the door behind him. “Wooow, what a lovely house. How much was the marble flooring? You know what never mind I’m not here for that. I’m going to need you to clean my shirt." 

The lady stared up at him in surprise. "O-okay.” She complied. Hoseok took off his shirt and threw it at her. 

“Where’s your kitchen?” He asked. Mrs. Guan pointed to the area and had her hair pulled immediately after. “I’m not letting you out of my sight~ Let’s go.” He took his shoes off before he pulled her from the fist full of hair to the kitchen and grabbed a knife. “Now what you’re gonna do is clean this shirt since you’re husband decided to bleed all over it." 

She looked at him stunned. "M-my husband? What’d you do to him?!” She started letting out a few tears that turned into horrendous sobs. 

“Did I tell you to talk! Shut up and clean this shit! Walk to the washer.” Hoseok followed right behind her as she made her way into the laundry room. She began with putting bleach on it and rinsing the mistreated shirt. A small “Mommy” was heard from the living room. “Oh is that your daughter?” Hoseok questioned with a big Cheshire the cat grin. The mother slightly nodded and began to release even more hysterical cries.

“Ple-please don’t hu-hurt my baby!” She whimpered and stuttered in between wails. 

“Can’t make any promises.” He chuckled as he looked around the room. He found some curtain ropes and used them to tie up Mrs. Guan. He also grabbed a sock and shoved it in her mouth. “If you even peep out a word I swear to god I’ll end her right in front of you, got it?” She shook her head furiously. “Good~” He smiled and skipped out of the room. He set the knife on the coffee table and headed towards the little girl that was standing near the stair case. “Hi sweetie. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He asked sweetly. She shyly pointed to her throat. 

“Oh! That’s right. You’re sick. Come here~” he waved her over and picked her. “Let’s get you some medicine, yeah?” The little girl nodded her head. “Good girl.” He walked over to the kitchen, girl in arms and sat her down on the counter. “Do you know where mommy keeps her medicine?” The young girl pointed to the cabinet across from where she was sitting. Hoseok followed her finger and scrimmaged through the bottles. He found some night time NyQuil and made a quick plan in his head. 

“Where’s mommy?” The girl peeped up. 

“Don’t worry honey. She just went to the store to pick up some milk. Now here drink this.” He poured more than half the bottle in a mug. 

“That’s so much though.” She whined. 

“Do you wanna be sick forever or do you wanna be strong and healthy and go play outside as soon as you can." 

"As soon as I can…” She looked down at the cup sadly. 

“Drink up!~” He waited until the kid drank the whole thing then took her upstairs where he tucked her into bed. “I’m going to turn on the tv so you can fall asleep faster. That way you can wake up feeling refreshed.” He turned off the lights and left the room, closing the door behind him. “If you ever wake up again.” He said in a cruel manner. 

He walked himself back down to the laundry room to witness the lady still tied up. He left her like that seeing as his shirt was practically finished. It just needed to be dried. He knew he couldn’t dry the shirt there though of course. Can’t leave any evidence behind. “Ahh good as new. Thank you. Now it’s time for you to visit your husband, okay? I really think you’ve earned it!” He went to go grab the knife and came back. He crouched behind her and pointed the knife at the peak of her forehead. “Any last words? Ahhh who am I kidding. You can’t talk with that gag in. Hm what a shame.” He held her neck from behind and struck her above the eyes killing her instantly. He grabbed the bleach and a rag to clean the knifes handle from any finger prints. He went back to the kitchen and bleach cleansed all the bottles and cabinet handle he had touched. He proceeded to head to the girls room. He knocked slightly and peeked his head out.

“Sweetie? Are you awake?” There was no answer from the other end. He fully entered the room the see the little girl sleeping. “Awww,” he looked at her while tucking her unraveled blankets back into place “, you’d be lonely in this cruel world if I just left you here…. plus you’ve already seen my face. Don’t worry it’ll be better in the after life… or at least that’s what they say.” He grabbed one of the many pillows and covered her face. She struggled a bit but her small arms weren’t forceful enough to push Hoseok off. After a few minutes he raised the pillow and checked for a pulse, lucky for him he found none. 

Continuing, he made sure to clean everything he had touched, including body parts. Afterwards he puts his shoes on and exited through the back door. He jumped the fence and landed on the street behind the original one. He walked to the end of the street and turned the corner to his car. “Another hard day at work.” He chuckled to himself. “Thank goodness I brought a spare change of clothes. Hopefully Y/n doesn’t notice." 

He drove back home to find you calmly relaxing the couch. You turned to him in surprise, "Oh what are you doing home early?” You asked curiously. 

“There wasn’t much work today.” Hoseok shrugged. “So I was thinking we could just have a nice quiet afternoon to ourselves.” He suggested with a smirk and a brow wiggle. 

“Sounds just lovely baby.” You agreed getting up and slithering your hands around his waist. “Anything in particular you want to try out?” You asked.

“Anything with you would just rock my world.” He replied, kissing the tip of your nose then your lips. “Nothing too crazy though Mrs. Jung. We still have kids coming later." 

"Ahh Hobi,” you hit his shoulder playfully, “it’s now or never with those two.” You looked at him adoringly. 

“I guess you’re right.” He picked you up and carried you to the bedroom.

As he carried you, you thought there was something different about Hoseok but you couldn’t pin point what exactly. Until it hit you, “Hey Hobi, weren’t you wearing something else?”

“Ahh I spilled coffee all over myself but luckily I had a shirt in my car from our last road trip.”

“Oh I see. Be careful next time dummy.” You giggled and went in for a kiss. 

Later that night at the family dinner everything felt peaceful and quiet. It was tranquil and everyone was happy. Though, it seemed like this would be the last of these type of serene meals… for while that is. 

hygtg  asked:

Whaaat's the story with the tshirt at target?? what did i miss? It's so pretty :(

Okay so Target (and i mean target as a whole not just the target by me) messed up and put out the Reputation t-shirts out early. I don’t think they realized the T-shirts couldn’t be sold until November 10th (for obvious reasons) and so us thirsty hoes are going in trying to buy these shirts and the system simply wont let them. The guy who was helping me tried to override the system on three different devices and it simply would not let him. Like the the Target I tried buying the shirt from was actually kind of funny because the guy was like “Is it just this shirt?” and I was like “no you have an entire rack of these shirts” and his response was “I’m going to take them down right away so no one else has to go through what you went through” as if they had killed my cat. But I still got pictures of me in the shirt so until then…