i just needed to do something or else i would have cried all day

anonymous asked:

Drabble number 47- it's not coming off. RafaelxReader he spills something on their baby and gets super frustrated. Congrats on 900❤!

bahahaha I love this… This’ll be the last one for today :). Three more to come tomorrow!! And THANK YOU so very much- you and everyone else!! <3.

Originally posted by all-things-raul-esparza


“Rafael?” You tapped lightly against the glass of his door, moderately curious about why it would be locked. “Rafael, what’s going on in there, you said you’d meet me downstairs about ten minutes ago…”

He jumped, surprised so much time had already passed. Sincerely, he planned on this little jaunt being quick- all he had to do was grab his briefcase from behind his desk.

But, of course, the phone had rang.
So, naturally, he had placed Lillian in the middle of the tabletop, so she could sit up amidst the desk accessories and he could keep an eye on her.
Which, he had done, at least until he needed to dig some information out from his desk drawer for the District Attorney…

It had only been a few seconds, long enough for him to open the bottom drawer and flip through a couple papers- but he heard it all. The clink of glass, the toppling of a bottle, the coo of sweet Lillian, then your knocking at his door…

When he glanced up, however, he was horrified to find his adorable little white-lace-and-ribbon-clad princess… covered in blue ink.

Why the Hell did he have an inkwell? When did he get that?
How long had it been there, just waiting for the prime opportunity to ruin his day? 

Oh… Oh God… Oh God no…

“Shh, shh, Lillian- it’s okay…” It was, right? He was just trying to (so very delicately) wipe ink off of her feet- good Lord, it looked like the tiny appendage was suffering from a smurf-virus. And her little dress, the one you, his darling doting wife, had so carefully chosen for her to wear this evening…

Well; it was no longer an ivory dress.
And your daughter was no longer entirely pink and clean, as she had been when you brought her to his office.

The baby cried, Rafael thought he’d be doing the same soon, and you started knocking louder against the window. “Rafi, what’s going on? We’re going to be late.”

From the safety of his solitude, he rolled his eyes- he was actually very well aware the three of you may not make it in time for the gala to begin. Why had he agreed to bring the baby to a gala? Somewhere between Olivia’s insistence and your never-wavering confidence, he’d been convinced it was a grand idea…

But, now, he had a beautiful little ink-blot of a daughter, crying and only spreading the damning ink all over her skirt, staining more ruffles and skin.

New question- who the Hell dressed babies in white?
That’d be something you two would have to discuss in marriage counselling…

“Rafael,” your voice had lowered, both he and the baby froze when the Motherly tone signified trouble- “Rafael, if you don’t open this door by the count of three, I’m getting the key from Carmen’s desk… and you don’t want me to get to three.”

No, he considered when exchanging nervous glances with Lillian, he certainly did not want to know what would happen if you made it to three.

“… One.”

Shit- Rafael quickly snatched Lillian up from the desk, leaving the mess she’d made for tomorrow-Barba to worry about. He spun in a tight circle, trying to think- think- think- think… what his defense for this?

“… Two, Rafael…”

You were going to kill him, he knew it. This was the first ‘real’ gala he’d suggested you attend with him since the birth of Lillian; you had gone out and gotten your hair done earlier, had both your AND her dresses dry cleaned (again, he questioned the purpose of dry cleaning a baby dress, but he didn’t care enough to argue), and here he was… making you late and dealing with an easily avoidable mess.

When he heard your shoes coming back for the door, he snatched an old blazer from the bureau- thankfully, he kept extra clothes for emergencies such as this, but usually he was only making a mess of himself… For now, though, it would have to do.

“Three.”

Before he managed to even take another breath, you shouldered your way through the door, glaring and obviously annoyed… however, you hadn’t expected this sight…

There, your husband stood, holding beautiful Lillian out at arm’s length- with an oversized blazer wrapped around her. 

His prosecutor’s face was on, stoic and blank, as if there was absolutely nothing odd about a tiny girl wearing a multiple-hundred dollar suit jacket. “Are you ready to go?” Rafael simply cocked his head to the side, tried his best to keep her hidden as much as he could within his embrace. “We’re going to be late if we don’t hurry-”

If you had any less restraint, you would have likely began to shout or scream: thankfully, you could maintain your cool demeanor, even though you couldn’t help but notice an itsy-bitsy blue toe poking out beneath the cloth.

“Rafael… why is she,” before he had the opportunity to twist away, you lunged for them, gave the camouflage a sharp tug so it would open up… and reveal your beautiful little cerulean princess.

Your hands flew to cover your mouth, Rafael winced and bit hard on his bottom lip. “It… uh… it’s not coming off…” 

Tears sparked in your eyes, and your shoulders bounced- no, no, no; your poor husband crossed the room to you, left multiple apologetic kisses on your reddening cheeks. “Mi amor, I’m so sorry, it was seconds- I didn’t even know I had an inkwell, and it’s staining, and… I’m so so sorry…”

Instead of bursting into a crying fit, as he expected, he was assaulted with a royal roar of laughter… 

Oh God’, he thought to himself while clutching poor Lillian to his chest, ‘She’s finally lost it…

“Rafael, you’re horrible,” while still laughing, you brushed away the uncontainable tears of humor, and diligently left the room long enough to pluck new clothes from the diaper bag. “Do you really think I’d put our daughter in a white dress and not bring a backup outfit?”

… Okay, one less for the marriage counselor you two may not need anyway.

“You… You brought another dress?” Rafael let the blazer drop to the floor, unblushingly took another look at her chubby, blued legs. “But her feet, mi amor, she got it all over her legs-”

You paused, hiding your face behind the tiny crimson dress you had brought along in case a change would be needed. “Sweetheart, that’s why they make tights,” while he held her in the air, you slipped black leggings over her otherwise bare feet, left kisses on her forehead before taking her from him so you could unbutton the dirtied gown. “Nobody will ever know, we’ll just change her real quick and hurry there- nothing to worry about.”

… Nothing to worry about. Of course. Not like he had been worrying for the last five minutes, already…

Finally, Rafael let out a sigh of relief, and shamelessly lay his forehead against your shoulder. He should have known you’d be better prepared, would have been able to fix his mess-ups, just as you always were able to do. 

“I love you,” he whispered, like an apologetic child, with wide-eyes and a plumped bottom lip. “You’re a Miracle Mami, you know that?”

Now dressed and ready to be the belle of the ball, Lillian squealed, pat lovingly at his tired face with her palms. 

“Oh trust me,” you confirmed before gifting him a final kiss, “I’m well aware…”

Of course you were.

the princess stayed in the tower and read books about better girls, where their hands learned how to hold swords, where they rode in on horses. i gave her books as often as i could. she devoured them.

her princes saw her and pretended to be scared off by dragons. got too lost in the thicket. didn’t want to handle it.

“tell me what it’s like, out there,” she whispers to me for the millionth time. i take her from The Throne into her bed, tucking her in and making sure her feet are covered. 

“boring without you” i say as always, “but i did bring back a great story.”

i tell her about how the stars change beyond the equator. how there are places it looks like there are twin suns. how the desert crawls into you but so does snow. i talk about the taste of fruit and promise to bring her back some. she falls asleep while i murmur about rivers, and then in the morning i bring her from bed to Throne, even though she can do it on her own. sometimes she likes help, is all, and i’m happy to give it. 

she doesn’t want help getting dressed. the men come for me, blindfold masters i have almost befriended. the path we take away from her is always different, carefully manufactured so i don’t know exactly where she’s located. after all, a lady might get ideas about things.

they let me go in the queen’s room. i report findings, ask for fruit in the next week’s supplies, am told not to spoil the princess, that she must be kind and waifish and wanting when the prince comes. i spend an hour suggesting that fruit might turn the blood sweeter and am allowed six oranges.

in the next week, she marvels over them. turns them in her calloused hands. smells them. holds them until she can’t control her curiosity, devours them. i bring her books about rivers. i bring her books about deserts. 

“when is our birthday?” she asks me tonight. i’m knitting her a scarf for it.

“soon,” i tell her, “i’ll come by.”

she rolls onto one side, looks up at me in the dimming light. “I’m glad they chose you to be mine,” she says, and i drop a stitch. my heart sings against the inside of my wrists. i blow out a candle so she can’t see the blush and i can’t see her lips. i know what she means, i say. i know what she means.

it’s twenty-three for both of us. i bring her a cake we both eat, her on her throne and me on the floor. i am in the middle of laughing when she falls silent in the still night. “nobody else ever comes for me,” she whispers. i say nothing.

we have more cake, we go to sleep. i don’t know if she knows i’m awake, but i hear her crying.

the men come, the men take me. the one that smells like cedar always laughs at my jokes. the queen half-hates me because i remind her of “that nasty thing” they forced on their daughter. 

“the left wheel needs oil,” i mention, “she’s having trouble turning again.”

the queen’s nose goes up. she never reacts when i mention her daughter’s wheelchair by name - doesn’t find it funny we call it a throne, thinks it’s well enough to leave alone.

“well, she’ll have a prince in this next month coming for her,” says the queen, “i’ve arranged it all,” says the queen, “he’s … had the situation explained to him first this time. i thought it would be best,” says the queen. “we’re paying him…. quite a lot for his effort,” says the queen.

situation. she means that her daughter can’t walk very far. she means the situation of towers. i excuse myself. i find my girl books about turning down marriage. i’m not sure why. it’s all she’s ever wanted.

they blindfold me and take me. cedar laughs at my jokes. the sawdust one is here this time, even he chuckles at a few. we ride horses through places i’ll never see clearly. 

“so according to the queen this is the last time i’m needed, huh?” i ask them as they walk me blindly up too many stairs for my girl to make it down, “i’m sorry i never made your acquaintance.”

cedar laughs. he takes off my blindfold and for a second, lets me see his face. “it’s been an honor,” he says, shaking my hand, “you’ve been a perfect lady.”

i spend the day with my princess pretending i am not peeling apart from my bones. i just want her to be happy. to get to come home. 

it’s late. “do you think in a past life i was a mermaid?” she asks.

“almost definitely,” i tell her. 

it’s quiet for a while after. “what if,” she whispers, “i don’t want to leave?”

i sit up and look at her from across the room. 

“it’s just,” she says, “i have you here and all the books i need and nobody makes me walk too long and i don’t feel like… like i’m wrong here.”

i want to tell her she’s never been wrong. that she’s always fit into my heart like a puzzle piece. that, more importantly, the leadership i see in her glows like a fire - that, no matter her body, she’s always been kind and gentle and smart and sweet. a princess that could bring a nation to her feet and do so lovingly.

“it will be okay,” i say, “there’s more fruit to discover.”

she doesn’t say anything. i think i’ve ruined something by accident, but i don’t know what. i don’t really sleep. i don’t say anything when the men come take me.

the world outside without her is boring. no mermaids. i put my hand in a river once a day, just thinking about her. 

two weeks later i am awoken by my name, and a voice i recognize perfectly. cedar stands above me in the darkness. “i know two things in this world,” he says to me, “and one of them is about love.”

this time we make the trip without blindfolds. i see the squalor they keep her in. i see the waste surrounding her castle, the terrible place she’s in. rage fuels my footsteps even when they start flagging. 

the prince is already there. he has dropped her twice, cedar tells me. i am already running up the stairs even though i can barely breathe. i hear her crying through the door and i don’t need to get ready - the fire that starts in me burns so brightly.

i roar inside. turn dragon and beat back prince with girl made rage. the bruises on her body turn me into giant snake. i eat the man alive, or at least i chase him from the place, never to be seen again. later i will hear a rumor about a demon that stole the princess from him.

she cries into my arms. i take her down every single stair. i hear her murmur her thanks into my hair and then i kiss her, because i can’t handle it, because i have places to show her and she has my heart to lead.

my house isn’t much but it’s near a river. she likes putting her hands into it. i take her places when she is able, and otherwise i bring the places back. we read books together. cedar no longer works for the queen, but he’d rather live with the man of sawdust making tiny wooden figurines.

i lie in bed next to her, stroking her soft hair. “do you think i was a centaur in a past life?” she asks.

“definitely,” i tell her, and kiss her, gently. she holds my face and pulls herself closer to me.

“will i be a good queen? i mean, in this life?”

“i’m certain of it,” i reply. i can hear the truth ring in it. the bone-deep certainty.

she’s quiet for a moment. “you saved me,” she whispers, “and usually we’d end up married. but…”

i don’t know how to answer that. i feel ice down my spine suddenly.

“i’m not demanding, is all,” her voice shakes, “i’m asking this time. for you to choose me. for me to be yours, i mean. and for you to be mine. permanently.”

the next birthday we celebrate, we are both queens.

Water

“Has anyone checked on the human lately?”

The question hung in the air. Several creatures glanced at each other uncertainly; is there an answer?

“Perhaps someone should, as it seems no one has.”

“I will.” Said one purple alien. “I’m sure nothing is wrong. She is likely just sleeping, or something else human-like.”

The creature left.

The others returned to their activites - monitor the ship, read a book of some sort, or playing a game from their home planet.

It was only a few moments later that a horrified scream came from the halls. Immediately, every creature in the room dropped what they were doing to run to the source of the sound.

What they found was the purple creature standing, shaking, in the doorway of the human’s quarters.

“What is it? What is the problem?” An orange creature cried.

“Th-The human is going to die!”

“I am not dead!” Came the human’s protest. “I’m not dying either! Why did you scream?”

The creatures quickly flooded into the room, only to gasp in shock. A yellow one in the back of the crowd fainted.

“What are you DOING?” The Captain yelled.

“I was getting a drink and then Purple over here came in and-”

“YOU WERE DRINKING THAT?!” The green creature turned a gentle shade of white.

“Uh, yeah?” The human glanced at the bottle in her hands. “It’s just water.”

“How could you do this to us!” A pink creature sobbed. “We thought you enjoyed being on our ship!”

“I-I do? What makes you think I don’t?”

“You were trying to poison yourself, you dwarf planet!” The Captain searched frantically for a med-kit. “Do we have poison antidotes in our kits?”

“This isn’t poison! It’s water! I drink it all the time!”

“Why would you do that?! To build an immunity?”

“No! Humans drink water all the time! We need it to survive.”

Silence.

“You…do what?”

“Humans drink water everyday. If we don’t we will die. About seventy-percent of the human body is made of water. Or it might be eighty-percent, I’m not entirely sure. Anyway, water gives us strength and energy. We literally HAVE to have it.”

The crew was in shock. There was no movement for a second, then the Captain raised his arm and opened his log. The others listened while he spoke.

“Captain’s log, day 28 with the human crewmate; humans drink poison on a daily basis. Our study of the human becomes more questionable each day. The human claims that all humans drink poison everyday, because it makes them thrive, and without it they would die. I am confident it will take more than one journey around the galaxy to understand humans even a small bit. Over.”

Reasons to ship Camren…

  • They have matching onesies; Lauren’s one is gray whilst Camila’s is pink.
  • They’re both Cuban.
  • They’re both from Miami, Florida.
  • Both are Latinas.
  • Lauren and Camila got the most solos in The X Factor performances.
  • They are both big fans of One Direction.
  • They both auditioned in Greensboro, North Carolina.
  • They both have a younger sister.
  • They hung out with each other on December 31st, 2012 to January 1st, 2013. They then tweeted a photo of Camila making a funny face and Lauren looking awkward.
  • Spanish was both their first language.
  • They live 15 minutes away from each other.
  • They often switch places with the other girls so they can sit next to each other.
  • They both love to do accents with each other.
  • They often think the same things at the same time.
  • They both have a weakness: Lauren for beanies and Camila for bows.
  • Lauren is the only one who calls Camila Camz.
  • Camila said if Lauren got arrested for something, she would get arrested for being so sweet.
  • They sat right next to each other at a The 1975 concert.
  • They have the same music taste.
  • Lauren said Camila is her “Pink Princess”.
  • Lauren is the “mom”…and Camila is the “father”.
  • Camila thinks Lauren is a “boss of an intelligent opinion”.
  • Camila thinks Lauren “is real”.
  • Camila would switch her mind with Lauren.
  • Lauren would switch her mind with Camila.
  • Camila wanted Lauren to kiss her under the mistletoe.
  • They wear the same “merch” clothes.
  • The way Lauren looks at Camila after she says “Fall, by Ed Sheeran”.
  • Lauren is Camila’s celebrity crush. (Oh … and Camila wants to marry with her celebrity crush ..even if her family doesn’t support the relationship.)
  • Camila would be "Baby Spice” because she is Lauren’s baby.
  • Lauren is the only person who laughs at Camila’s jokes.
  • Camila loves Lern Jerg.
  • Because Lauren helps her when her banana is dead on the floor.
  • Because Lauren helps her when her microphone breaks.
  • Because Lauren ties her shoes.
  • Camila is the sun and Lauren the moon.
  • Because Lauren doesn’t know what else to say but she thinks Camila is pretty fucking Dope!
  • Because Camila has Lauren “written on her”.
  • Because Camila read Lauren’s favorite book.
  • Because Lauren knows that Camila cried reading “Fault in Our Stars”.
  • Because one day Camila and Lauren went to the bathroom together and … that’s the end of the conversation!
  • Because Camila thinks Lauren can sing and is pretty too.
  • Because they have an audience that calls them crazy! (and they call us delusional!)
  • Because both like “so many hot boys”.
  • Because Camila said: “keep the boat floating”.
  • Because Lauren said “It’s Camren, YOOO!.
  • Because Lauren wants someone to love her insecurities…and Camila do!
  • Because Lauren has “the most beautiful emerald eyes in the world”.
  • Because Camila thinks Lauren is “perfect”.
  • Camila tried salmon because Lauren loves sushi.
  • Because Lauren thinks Camila is goofy, not the bad kind goofy, the cute kind goofy.
  • Because Camila loves people from “planet green eyes”.

Extra:

  • I love you. You’re one of my best friends and I feel like I’ve know you forever. You’re one of the smartest people I know and you’re stuning. I’ve learned a lot from you, just know I’ll always be here for you no matter what!” - Camila on Lauren
  • Happy 16th Birthday little one(: thank you for always being you and being one of the raddest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. You’re an incredible person and I’m extremely lucky to have you in my life. Thanks for being there to vent with and even though we haven’t known each other for even a year yet, I feel like you’re the sister God forgot to give me. I love you Camzi(: have a good one babe! 💙😘🎉🎈🎁💙#camren” - Lauren on Camila


  • Happy 17th Birthday to this little nugget right here. I thought this picture was cute so I decided it would suffice. Just wanted to let you know that you’re an amazing beautiful person and I’m glad that you’ve been alive for 17 years and that 2 of them have been spent with the girls and I because idk you’re pretty rad and an amazing friend and fun to have around. I hope you have an amazing day and feel as special today as you deserve to feel everyday. Thanks for always being there for me when I need you and for being your wonderful self(: I LOVE YOU CAMZ” - Lauren on Camila


  • AWHHHHH YAAAY I LOVE YOU UR CUTE 🐏🐟💗🎷” - Camila on Lauren


  • The word I’d use to describe Camila is hmm I’m gonna say cutesy, like also goofy. It’s like both, like the good kind of goofy not the weird kind. Like the cutesy kinda goofy” - Lauren on Camila


  • LERN JERGI. ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY. YOU ARE 18. THIS IS THE MOMENT YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR. IF YOU STUCK YOUR TONGUE OUT IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW YOU COULD PROBABLY TASTE THE SWEET AND PUNGENT FREEDOM OF DRAGONFLY TATTOOS, NOSE PIERCINGS, AND VOTING RIGHTS. we’ve been through thick and thin in our friendship, and through those thick and thins I’ve gotten blessed enough to experience you as a person. ive gotten to experience your bomb music taste which I am SO HAPPY YOU INTRODUCED ME TO because we have the best time at concerts bonding over bands and there are so many more to come PRAISE JESUS. i can come to you about anything and expect the pure, honest, rare truth and I’ll always be there tell you it’ll be okay when you cry on my shoulder when you feel lonely or hurt. I’ve gotten to see firsthand your incredible sense of justice, when you see that something unfair or wrong has happened, you’ll raise your voice and fight for that person with a bravery that I, and many other people (although they might not admit it) wish they had. i love how passionately you fight for what you think is right and everyone should remind you today and everyday that it’s a strength and not a weakness. i can’t tell you what a comfort it is to know someone like you will stick up for me and have my back, i hope you know i will too. i love you always” - Camila on Lauren


  • Super cute candids taken by a random stranger always make good birthday post pics. HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY CAMILA CABELLO. YOU’RE LEGAL NOW YAYYY!!!!!! You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I’m so thankful that I get to call you my friend. Thanks for all the laughs, for being my shoulder to cry on whenever I’ve needed a friend, for giving amazing sound advice (even though you’re just now considered an adult by the government you’ve been there mentally for a while which I greatly appreciate) I wish you many more years of amazingness and I hope you had the best day with your family. You deserve all the love and happiness the world has to offer and I wish it all upon you for many many years to come. I LOVE YOU CAMZZZZ❤️❤️❤️” - Lauren on Camila


  • HAPPY 19TH LAUREN!! i remember the day you auditioned for X factor seeing a beautiful green eyed girl belt out an Alicia keys song so perfectly i feared for my life. i remember telling my mom "that girl can sing!! and she’s gorgeous too!!” and then you walked out and i told you i loved your shirt remember? HAHAHA. it’s funny how before we even knew how important we were going to be to each other, something in us knew and something in us will always know. i love how fiercely you defend your opinion, i love your strength, your bold independence, and your desire to live life fully. i love that we crack up at each other’s jokes even when nobody else gets them- and i love those moments where we get caught up in talking about a band or a book and we get lost in the conversation like two normal girls in high school that aren’t about to go do something ridiculous like go to an awards show. i will always be there for you when you need someone to vent to, when you want to talk about the overwhelming underwhelmingness of boys that break our hearts or the overwhelming overwhelmingness of when a kiss leaves your head reeling, when i back you up and you need someone to stick up for you, or when you just need someone to understand- we’ve done that for each other in the last 3 years and we will do that for each other forevermore. i love you so much !!!! happy 19th lern jergi!!!!! camila“ - Camila on Lauren

The One That Got Away

by reddit user bookshelfghost

Lily Harrison and I met at a graduation party when we were eighteen. As soon as I walked into the house, her bubbling laughter caught my attention. I couldn’t help but grin because it was so contagious, and she’d noticed. Already a couple drinks in, she pointed right at me and shouted, “Hey. You’re cute. Come be my partner.” 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

so gang!phil interrogating rival!dan but phils usual techniques (slapping, hitting, etc.) are just turning dan on, so instead phil just edges him til he gives in 💙

Phil cracked his knuckles, sighing as he pushed open the door to the interrogation room. He was instantly hit with a rank stench, and he flinched, crinkling his eyes in disgust.

Dan Howell sat in the middle of the room, tied to a chair, a gag over his mouth. He didn’t seem to notice Phil entering.

He had a black eye, and a cut on one cheek, so it was clear the boys had had some fun with him when they had caught him. He was still pretty cute though. And despite all this, Dan’s eyes were dry.

“Dan,” he said loudly, and the boy looked up, glaring at him fiercely.

Phil stepped forward, yanking the gag down, and Dan immediately took this opportunity to spit at him.

Phil calmly wiped it away, and Dan laughed. Phil shook his head, fiddling with the straps of the gloves they used to make punches hurt the offender less and the victim more. It was an old intimidation technique, but Dan didn’t flinch.

“You’re a goddamn idiot, Howell.” His voice was low, and he leaned down so he was at Dan’s level, their faces inches away.

“Maybe,” Dan said slowly, staring him down. “Or maybe you just don’t know why I did what I did.”

Phil stepped back, putting his foot on Dan’s chair, his clunky black boot resting between Dan’s legs.

“Unfortunately for you, that’s why I’m here.”

Dan’s subtle smirk grew, and Phil couldn’t help but growl under his breath. He was infuriating.

“Why would that be unfortunate?” Dan’s voice was light; teasing. “You know I adore our little chats.”

Phil was reminded why Dan was used for things like this - he was the best spy imaginable, and when he got caught, he wasn’t easy to crack.

Phil didn’t hesitate to swing at him, slapping him in the face, hard. Dan’s head was thrown to the side, but he came back smiling. He yawned, a strand of messy brown hair falling between his eyes.

“Thanks,” he said, his eyes flashing. “I needed that. I was falling asleep.”

Phil grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him forward roughly and practically strangling him.

“Look Howell,” he hissed, and Dan’s eyes widened slightly. “We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. And either way, you’re gonna fucking tell me why you were spying on my base, and what you know.”

Dan searched his icy blue eyes, determined not to let his confidence waver.

“I think it’s gonna have to be the hard way,” he said slowly, his eyes narrowing. “Because I’m not telling you shit.”

Phil huffed through his nose, and grabbed a handful of Dan’s hair. He tugged back roughly, and Dan let out a soft whimper, of surprise or pain, Phil couldn’t tell.

Dan’s eyes rolled back in his head, and his exposed throat somehow made Phil want to bite him. Instead he fastened a hand around it, making Dan cry out.

“I could snap your fucking neck,” Phil growled at him. “I could slit your throat. Tell me everything, and it’s all over.”

Dan gagged softly, squirming in his tight grip. “No. Hit me again, fucker.”

Phil obliged, letting go of him just to backhand him. And it looked like it hurt like hell; the impact split Dan’s lip. But Dan fucking moaned.

His eyes glinted with red hot fire, a wild grin melting to his features. “Again,” he breathed, and Phil stared at him.

Dan was a mess; he was visibly shaking, he had a black eye and a lip that was bleeding down his chin. But he was asking for more…? What did it take to break this kid?

Phil glared at the boy, punching him twice in the stomach, and shoving him backwards. The chair toppled backwards, and Dan landed on his arms, his head hitting the ground as well.

He cried out in pain, but there was something else in his tone, a sort of whine, and oh my god, this was turning him on, wasn’t it?

Phil swallowed, moving to stand over Dan, hovering above him. Dan grinned at him cockily, until Phil grabbed his face with a firm grip, and he squeaked.

“You think this is hot, don’t you?” He asked quietly, getting as close to Dan as possible without being tempted to kiss his broken lips. Dan laughed.

“And you don’t?” He smirked. “Having me like this, completely helpless? Ruining my pretty face, fuck, like the worthless piece of shit I am.”

It all clicked in Phil’s mind- why no one could seem to make Dan break. It was impossible to get information from him, simply because he liked the abuse. It made Phil even more pissed.

Phil stood back up, grabbing Dan by the hair and pulling him and the chair back up. Dan whimpered; fire shooting through his head.

“We’re gonna try something a little different,” Phil said calmly, his voice coming out sickly-sweet. Dan shivered.

“Do whatever you want,” he spit, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “I’m not saying anything.”

“Oh really? That’s too bad.” Without warning he leaned forward, his hands placed on either side of Dan’s hips, his breath brushing over the side of Dan’s neck. He ran his hand over Dan’s waistband, and then down to his (obvious at this point) bulge. “Guess you won’t be coming anytime soon, then.”

“Wha-” Dans breath caught and the words got stuck in his throat as Phil ran his fingertips over his hard on, certainly not making it better. “What d-do you mean?” He choked out.

Phil ignored him, pushing his hand into Dan’s pants, under his boxers, and ran his thumb over Dan’s tip.

Dan whined rather loudly, squirming on the chair, but the ropes made it so it was nearly impossible for him to move.

“Phil,” he breathed, trying to shift his hips away. “What are you d-doing…?”

Phil grinned maliciously. Finally, he had found something that would actually affect Dan. And he was going to have some fun with it.

“Mmh, just giving my whore what he wants,” he breathed in Dan’s ear, and Dan couldn’t help but moan.

Phil moved his hand, wrapping his fingers around Dan’s length. He watched Dan bite down on his bottom lip as Phil moved his hand, slowly teasing him, his thumb brushing over Dan’s slit occasionally.

Soon enough Dan was a whimpering mess, and he seemed to have given up any integrity he may have had left. His head fell back on the chair, his eyes closed, and he was attempting to rut against Phil’s hand while letting out an endless stream of high pitched moans. Phil had to be honest, it was sexy as hell.

Phil could tell Dan was getting close by the increase in pitch of his noises, and the way his hips stuttered. His cock was leaking precum, which made it easier for Phil to slide his hand up and down Dan’s shaft.

“Now,” he said softly, sweetly, even, slowing down his movements to a near halt. “Are you gonna tell me what you were doing outside the base, slut?”

Dan whined, his eyes opening, and he licked his lips.

“Please-”

“Answer the question.”

Phil stopped his movements all together, holding his hand at the base of Dan’s dick so he couldn’t cum even if he was able to.

Dan searched his face, chewing on the inside of his cheek before muttering, “no.”

At that Phil just smiled meanly, biting down on Dan’s throat and sucking hard, leaving a dark bruise in its place.

“That’s okay.” He laughed, and Dan looked almost scared. “We’ve got time.”

That began the next unbearable moments for Dan, with Phil scratching bright red marks down his thighs and occasionally leaving hickeys all over his neck and jaw.

And here’s the thing; Dan did not want to beg. He hated begging. Begging was admitting your defeat, and that was something Dan simply couldn’t do. But right then, Dan was probably closer to breaking down than he had been in his entire life.

He wanted to cum, he had been so close, and when Phil had stopped-

It was worse than any physical pain he could inflict.

When Phil started moving his hand again, Dan almost cried. He started slow again, gradually speeding up, stopping occasionally to flick his wrist around Dan’s head.

“Mmph, fuck,” Dan whined, his head falling back, beginning to lose his mind again. “Ph-Phil, please make me cum, please.”

“You wanna cum?” Phil growled softly, speeding up even more, and Dan practically screamed.

“Yes-! F-Fuck, n-need to…!”

Phil smirked, watching Dan’s face and admiring how he fell apart just from some pain and a hand around his cock. He was gorgeous, his face all roughed up and his hair falling in his eyes, sticking from sweat. Phil wanted to fuck his brains out, but then wasn’t really the time.

“Too bad,” he said finally, stopping again right when Dan was the closest possible.

Dan let out an incredulous noise, groaning, his hips bucking into nothing, desperate for friction.

“Fuck you,” he said breathlessly, his voice breaking. “Fuck you, Phil Lester. Let me cum.”

“Tell me what I need to know, sweetheart.” He dipped two fingers under Dan’s chin, bringing his face up. “Or, trust me, I could do this all day.”

Dan shook his head.

Twenty minutes later, and Dan was visibly shaking again. Tears streamed down his face, and he didn’t even remember when they had started. His hips constantly twitched, and he had to gasp for breath.

“Please.” His voice was soft and broken and desperate and sleepy; goddamn beautiful. “Please, Phil, I need it, I-”

“Aw.” Phil stuck out his lower lip, mocking him. “Poor baby. Poor desperate little whore, do you need to cum, my love?”

Dan shuddered, nodding frantically, not even above falling for Phil’s teasing.

Phil slapped him, the noice echoing through the room, and Dan moaned.

“Then tell me what I fucking need to know, Dan. It’s that simple,” he hissed through his teeth.

Dan whimpered, sleepily shaking his head. But then Phil’s mouth was on his dick, his jeans shoved down, and god, he had been close for an hour now. He just needed it so bad.

His eyes rolled back in his head, and he squeezed them shut.

Phil had been edging him for so goddamn long, he was going crazy. He was so weak, and every second that Phil touched him, he got closer. The very edge, and Phil’s hot, wet mouth was closed around him, humming, and fuck he was going to cum. It was right there, and then…

Phil pulled off with a pop, glaring at him. Dan could scream. And then he lost it.

“Phil, f-fuck, your mouth is so good, please-” he choked on the words, the emotion and need getting caught in his throat, and there were tears on his cheeks again. “Please, need to cum, please let me, p-please-” he hiccuped, shaking his head desperately. “Please, no more. N-No more, I’ll tell you!”

Phil smiled, drawing his thumb down Dan’s cheek.

“Mmh, good boy,” he hummed, and Dan soaked up the praise, nuzzling against Phil’s hand like a kitten. He didn’t care anymore. “That’s all I wanted. Tell me everything, and then you can cum.”

Dan nodded frantically, sniffing, the words spilling from his mouth like a waterfall. How he had been sent to scope out the new recruits, how his gang had been planning to kidnap one of the new kids, hold him hostage. Even how they had anticipated that Dan would get caught, and how he would try and get information on the inside as well.

At the end Dan broke down, a sob catching in his throat, still so fucking hard, his dick still leaking and straining to reach his stomach.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Phil said sweetly, fastening his hand around Dan’s cock for the thousandth time.

Dan sucked in a sharp breath, his head lolling backwards, whimpering softly.

Phil got him off in a matter of moments, and Dan moaned loudly and high pitched as he spilled over Phil’s hand and his stomach.

Phil untied him, seeing as he was practically passed out, and Dan slumped to the ground.

He stood over him, looking over the exhausted, broken boy laying on the ground beneath him, breathing heavily. What a gorgeous mess.

He leaned over, kneeling next to him and lifting his head up by his hair. Dan didn’t even react, except for glancing at him sleepily.

“Needless to say, you can’t go back to your gang,” Phil said calmly.

“You gonna kill me?” Dan asked, more like a statement, as if he didn’t even care what the answer was.

“No…” Phil hummed, letting Dan lay back down and running his fingers through his tangled hair. “I was thinking you’d stay here. With me.”

Dan made a noise of acknowledgment, licking his ripped up lips.

“If it means we can do that again, then I’m down.”

Sweet Creature (M)

*I have no words*

Request: Can I get a Sub Jungkook smut where their on the couch and he cums in his pants while the reader is grinding on him on his lap and dirty talks to him in his ear??? Thanks☺️☺️☺️

Word Count: 6.9k words (heh heh)

Let me ruin you goddammit


Let’s get one thing straight. You never claimed to be a good person, never did charity work, never been the perfect daughter for your parents. And you sure as hell wasn’t someone’s little girlfriend.

You did what you want, who you wanted and slipped out of their sheets before they murmur good morning in your ear. You were a ‘no strings attached’ girl, making sure that you would never become someone’s puppet. Of course, you weren’t immune to the disease called ‘love’, your innocent high school days plagued with your naive mindset of finding the ‘one’. It still haunts you, one of the reasons your night doesn’t end with a shot of whisky and half a pack of beer. The only person who was willing to put up with you was your best friend, Jungkook.

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Sober

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: The reader is drunk and she tries to have sex with her best friend Jensen.

Prompt: “Why are you in my bed?!”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,757

Requested: @supernaturalgirl85


Jensen tiredly drudges up the stairs in his Malibu home, grumpy as all hell. He just lost $2,000 at a poker game and it’s safe to say that he’s ripshit.

Although he’s not concerned about actually losing the money, being a successful movie director has set his ass up for life.

It’s just the fact that he lost. He’s a competitive fucker, always has been and always will be. It’s in his DNA.

And to add fuel to the fire, his friends refused to give him another chance to win back his money. Claiming it’s too late and they needed to call it a night. It’s only midnight for Christ’s sake. Old bastards.

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Regarding Dean

Characters:  Dean, Reader, Sam

Summary:  Sam calls reader to babysit Dean after he’s cursed by a witch.

Warnings:  Angst-ish

Word Count:  1776

Tags are at the bottom.  As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

Regarding Dean

The screen lights up on your phone, Sam Winchester’s name flashing on the screen.This can’t be good, otherwise Sam would never, ever call you. Not after everything that happened. Should you answer? You don’t really want to dredge all that shit up. But if he’s calling, it’s important. You’re thumb hovers over the green button. It’s on the third ring before you decide to answer.  

“Hello?”

“(Y/N)? It’s me, Sam. Please, don’t hang up, just hear me out.”

“I’m listening.”

“Thank…thank you. Listen, I wouldn’t be calling if I didn’t need help, you know that I wouldn’t. But I need you.”

———–

You can’t figure out how Sam knows you’re in the area. You haven’t had contact with Dean or Sam for over year. Is he still keeping tabs on you through the hunter network?  It’s touching in a way, you’ve always had a soft spot for Sammy. Truth is, you miss him.

Why the fuck are you driving to the motel right now? Why would you willingly put yourself in this position? Must be temporary insanity. It’s the only logical explanation. Maybe you should drive straight to the psych ward and check yourself in after this is over.

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Suga Daddy: Part 8

Suga Daddy: 8

Word count: 8.3k

Genre/Warnings: angst, dirty talk, language 

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Yoongi tells you about his past but is terrified of how you’ll take it.

This came a little early than expected. Anyway, enjoy and thanks for reading.

Parts: {playlist} one | two | three | four | five | six | seven 

Everything felt like it was playing out and slow-motion and all you were doing was twirling the flowers in your hand. You were nauseated and your mind was racing with every possible scenario. You knew that Yoongi couldn’t have a squeaky clean record. Especially with his attitude and the way he talked to you sometimes. For some reason you still loved him, despite that.

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The Train - Part Two

Pairing: Y/N and Harry

Word Count: 4100

Prompt: Y/N walks in, and Harry notices she’s wearing yellow again, this time it’s a yellow sweater with a pair of dark skinny jeans and brown ankle boots, her hair is pulled back into a pony tail with a white scrunchie with little smiling suns and he swears that he has to squint to look at her. “Oh! I know you-you’re the guy from the train,” Y/N beams, “Harry, right?” she sets down the tray of muffins.

“I didn’t tell you my name,” Harry snaps.

Y/N pouts, “well yeah, but I’m also not stupid,” she says.

“Are you joining us today Harry?” the man asked, “I’m Seth, I run the group.”

“Why else would I fucking be here,” Harry grumbled.

Y/N grabs a muffin, ignoring Harry’s sour attitude, “here, they’re made with love,” she smiled, holding out the blueberry muffin.

“Fuck off,” Harry says. He watches as her smile fades and the glint in her eyes seems to disappear, for a split second Harry feels like a dick, but then he realizes he doesn’t care and Y/N should just shove the muffin up her ass.

Part One


Harry felt empty.

Drinking seemed pointless and as did life. He found himself wishing he could be a part of crowds, go out and enjoy life, but he couldn’t. Every time he did force himself to go out he was counting down the seconds till he could be back in his own space. He felt as if her were drowning, as if he were sinking and everyone just happened to swim right by him. He felt like he was screaming for help, for someone, for anyone to just hold him, to just lay with him, but no one listened.

He had disconnected from everyone completely, shutting off his phone, not checking his emails, or even going on social media. The only time he left his house where for the meetings, anytime Seth could fit him in, and train rides. Each and every time he hoped Y/N would be there, but after three meetings he had given up.

Harry hadn’t showered in three days and he looked like it. He wondered if he smelled but he really didn’t care. He had no one to impress and at this point anything he did felt like a ten-mile race. He almost didn’t show up for group therapy because that meant getting out of bed and facing the reality that is life. The world that tells him what he’s feeling is all in his head and he needs to get over it and write more music. The world that tells him it’s okay to have a fever or break his leg, but the moment he feels alone and numb he needs to get over it. The world that wants Harry Styles but not Harry Styles.

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13 | You’ll Never Walk Alone

BTS + GOT7 X READER [GANG!AU]

WORD COUNT: 5,345

series warnings: mature themes, strong language, violence, substance abuse, eventual smut. this chapter contains graphic content such as violence, gruesome torture, death, blood, wound details and grief

Originally posted by manwalage

masterlist | ask | prev | coming soon


“What do we do now?” Taehyung croaked from behind the wheel, you were too riddled with grief and lightheaded from the blood loss to open your eyes, Jungkook sat beside you on the backseat doing his best to stop you from bleeding out entirely; pressing his large palms over the fabric covering the bullet holes.

“She needs a hospital!” Jungkook practically roared from above you, the vibrations from his chest and the spicy smell of his cologne pulled you back down to Earth again, giving you’d nearly slipped into a permanent sleep several times in the past ten minutes.

“We can’t fucking show up at a hospital with two dead bodies in the trunk! Are you fucking insane?! We need a plan, and fast! I don’t know if they’re following us now but it won’t be long before they are!” Darkness surrounded your body, your weak limbs growing cold as the voices in the car faded to mere whispers.

“The manor house is too far away, she’ll never make it to Yugyeom in time! She needs medical attention! If you park a couple of blocks away from the hospital, I’ll run with her, I’m fast I can make it in time.” Jungkook tried to reason with his counterpart, eyes wide with horror as he watched your eyes roll into the back of your skull, “Fuck Y/N! Stay with me, concentrate on my voice!”

“Oh so you’ll carry her in your arms will you?! How fucking romantic! I bet you’ll love telling her that when she wakes up won’t you?!” Taehyung hissed as he swerved the car, furiously switching lanes.

“She might not ever wake up if you don’t drive to a hospital!” Jungkook shifted his hands and slammed his slightly blood stained fist on the back of Taehyung’s seat, “You’re really going to risk her life after he died saving her?!”

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You’re In Love With Him But He Likes Your Best Friend: Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Masterlist linked in bio


“Out!”

It’s the first thing Y/n wakes up to, Savannah’s outraged voice echoing along the walls of Y/n’s bedroom.

Y/n groans, squinting her eyes open at the sudden movement of her bed shaking wildly.

Savannah’s pulling the stranger out of Y/n’s bed, her merciless hands continuously pushing him out the bedroom door. He’s half awake, his slumberous daze making him scramble as he attempts to throw his clothes back on.

“Fuckin’ Jesus” the unknown man grumbles, his eyes still half closed from the immense amount of alcohol he consumed the previous night.

Savannah remains relentless, despite his attempt to get fully dressed. He even falls at one point, when he hops on one foot to get his leg through his jeans, but she doesn’t stop for a second.

You, get out of here!” she demands, her hand giving him one last shove out the door before she slams it shut.

Y/n groans again, her sensitivity to anything other than complete darkness and silence making her throw the duvets over her head and bury her face in her pillow. She’s well aware that she has to embrace the very few seconds she has of total peace and quiet before Savannah begins to lecture her for the irresponsibility she just walked into.

She’s only able to reunite with darkness for a split second before Savannah pulls the covers completely off of her, bringing her back into the horrifying sunlight.

Y/n falls off the bed, letting out a groan as her still slightly intoxicated body makes contact with the wooden floor. Her hungover state is making it nearly impossible to figure out the chaos unraveling in the room; all she can really understand is the pounding in her head and the burning in her eyes every time she exposes them from their lids.

She rolls over onto her back, huffing as her fingers dig into her eyelids. She coughs, her abrupt movements making her stomach flip with every turn she makes. She’s given no time to recover before Savannah rips her arms away from her face, gripping onto her wrists as she pulls Y/n off of the floor.

“What the fuck is going on here, Y/n?!” Savannah yells, eyes glaring at Y/n’s very, very hungover stance.

Y/n nearly trips over her own two feet as she attempts to balance herself after Savannah harshly pulled her up from her collapsed figure. If she had the capability to answer back, she would have, but she’s still fucked up from last night and can barely stomach the sunlight seeping in from the curtains.

“Is this what you’ve been up to?!” Savannah spits, angry laughter tying into her words, “Is this the kind of shit you’ve been doing while cutting everyone off?! Sleeping with random guys?!”

The last thing Savannah expected to see was Y/n in bed with a half-naked man and empty bottles of alcohol scattered across her bedroom floor. It was extremely rare for Y/n to carelessly consume alcohol and have consistent one night stands. Savannah’s witnessed her go through these phases only a handful of times throughout their friendship, all of which stemmed from Y/n’s toxic intolerance of being alone.

She should have seen this coming, though. After finding out she’s been in a relationship with someone Y/n was in love with, the first thing she should have done was check up on her. But there was so much fear holding her back, so much guilt preventing her from confronting her about it.

She wouldn’t know exactly what to say, or how to say it, without making it sound like she was the shittiest friend in the world. She had a feeling Y/n had feelings for Harry, considering she had mentioned him a plethora of times once she met him.

And Savannah still took it upon herself to date Harry, for her own selfish reasons. She never thought that it was the potential reason Y/n was so distant. That thought was the last one in the back of her head, completely throwing her off guard when she found out.

She’s tried to reach out to her multiple times, only to be deliberately ignored and shut down. After a while, she figured all Y/n wanted was space, so she stopped trying for a couple days.

But nothing stopped Harry. He’d spend hours knocking on her front door, on his knees, begging for her to speak to him. He’d call her when he wasn’t near her, because he had driven himself crazy knowing he never told Y/n what he needed to tell her so urgently.

Y/n knew—she knew just how much effort he was putting into seeing her again. She heard him, every day, through her front door, but she never knew what to do. The constant fear that Harry didn’t feel the same way back was all the convincing she needed to never speak to him again.

There’s only so much her heart could break, and she didn’t know how many more times it could before she finally snapped.

Y/n grips her head as she squints her eyes shut, hissing at the throbbing in her head when Savannah’s voice booms throughout the room. The overwhelming migraine taking over Y/n’s head practically forces her to sit on the edge of her bed, the palm of her hands still digging into her eyes.

“Not cutting anyone off,” Y/n mumbles, grumbling when she opens her eyes properly to look at Savannah, “I’m just adjusting.”

It isn’t a lie. Her intention wasn’t to ignore them, not at all. But as time went on, the more her emotions started becoming fragile; one wrong sight would have made her break.

And as stupid as it sounds, having sex was the only time she felt wanted after Harry and Savannah started dating. Even if it was in a drunken state, even if it was just purely for physical pleasure, the hours spent with random men were the only moments she felt purpose.

It was also her biggest distraction. Having one night stands was her emotional outlet, her way of letting out all of her emotions without actually doing so. It sure as hell was better than being alone—anything was.

Savannah sighs, shaking her head softly as she kneels eye level to her. She’d never seen her like this before, so lost and broken. She would have lectured her further if she wanted to because she had every right to smack some sense into her. But after all this time, after all the pain she could only imagine Y/n going through, could she really do that to her? Could she really blame her for doing this to herself?

“Y/n,” she rubs her legs, “I have been the shittiest, most horrible friend to you. I was so selfish and so inconsiderate, and I don’t blame you for not speaking to me these past couple days. But, Y/n, this—” her hands gesture around the horrendous state of her bedroom, “this isn’t adjusting. Having drunk sex isn’t going to rid your feelings for Harry. You’re suppressing your emotions, you’re running away. That’s what you’re doing.”

Y/n’s lips begin to quiver as her eyes well with tears; the first time she’s truly cried since the night she saw Harry at Lexi’s. Savannah feels somewhat relieved when she sees the tears falling from Y/n’s eyes. It isn’t a familiar sight to see, but it shows her that she’s actually accepting what she’s been hiding all along.

“You have to talk to me. I don’t care if you yell at me, Y/n. I don’t care what you do to me, but you have to talk to me. You have to show me something. I can’t be hearing about your feelings from Harry, that’s not fair for anyone.”

“What was I supposed to say?” Y/n whispers, her words breaking beneath cries she so desperately wishes she could stop.

But there’s no going back now. The alcohol is still running in her system and she’s reacting instinctively. There is nothing holding her back, not now.

“How was I supposed to tell him that I was in love with him when I knew he didn’t feel the same way? And how was I supposed to tell you anything about him when I knew this would end up happening anyways?! And what was I supposed to say to the both of you when you both decided to take it upon yourselves to flirt in front of me?!

By now, Y/n’s blood is starting to boil. The words coming out of her mouth are laced with venom, her sudden shift in mood making Savannah swallow thickly. But everything in her is operating a million miles an hour, her words coming out faster than her brain can register. She doesn’t even remember standing up from the bed while she paces around her bedroom, empty bottles rolling around the wooden floor.

“Because no matter what I would have done, it would have ended the same! The way it always does, Savannah! The way it always ends with you getting what I want, even if I want it more—“

“Y/n—"

“Even if I need it! You still get it!”

The harshness in her voice is replaced by violent cries, her words drowned in uncontrollable sobs.

The pain is all over. Everything she’s attempted to numb is now all hitting her at once. All the loneliness, all the anger, all the hurt she’s been burying is now reaching the surface. She can barely breathe, all of the emotions suffocating her, squeezing against her throat.

Savannah is quick to embrace her shaken body, shushing her as her hands rub up and down her back.

A part of her always knew she was the reason Y/n’s love life was barely existent. Although Y/n never admitted it, she drops hints at it every so often. She did notice how all of Y/n’s high school crushes ended up liking her instead, and did notice how whenever Y/n tried to date, she would barely mention them to her. It was as if she was hiding them from her, completely intimidated that Savannah would take away her only chance at a relationship.

And Savannah can’t shake the horrible feeling she has when Y/n admits all of it to her.

Y/n buries her face in her shoulder, her tears soaking through her t-shirt. She wishes she could hold a grudge against Savannah, but she doesn’t have the heart to blame her for anything that’s happened. Everything is because of Y/n, everything happening is because of her fear of emotions and every bit of her has no one else to blame.

“I need him.” Y/n sobs into her shoulder, her hands tugging at the ends of her shirt for some sort of release.

“I need him so much. And I hate it—I hate that I do so m—much.”

“Oh, Y/n.” Savannah kisses her temple, holding her higher against her.

She knows how much Y/n needs him, and knows now more than ever. She was her happiest when she first met him, she was almost an entirely different person. But now, after everything that’s happened, Savannah has never seen her more of a wreck than she is in this moment.

“Let’s sit you down, you need to breathe.”

Y/n whimpers as she’s placed back on the bed, Savannah reminding her to breathe every couple of seconds. She looks at Y/n with sadness in her eyes, comforting her whenever she needs it most.  

“He needs you, too, you know.” Savannah sighs, shaking her head as she takes Y/n’s fidgeting hands into hers.

“I never noticed it until you distanced yourself from us. He didn’t open up to me the way he should have, never talked to me the way he had with you. When I asked him about it—asked him why he wasn’t communicating with me properly, he always mentioned you.”

Y/n flutters her eyes shut, pursing her lips with the slight possibility that Harry may actually feel the same way towards her. There was always a part of her that fully believed the only reason he’s tried so hard to reach her was because he felt guilty for hurting her so much.

But knowing that there’s a chance in Harry reciprocating feelings gives Y/n an overwhelming sensation she’s ever experienced before. It’s the first time in a while there’s a particular type of warmth in her chest, and she swears she begins to tear up from the bit of happiness she’s been missing.

“He would tell me that you were the only one he truly felt comfortable around. Even confessed you were the only one he’d ever be able to talk to, even if we were in a relationship. He was going absolutely mental.”

Savannah sweeps the pad of her thumb under Y/n’s eye, catching the few extra tears that are overflowing. She smiles weakly at her in reassurance, raking her knotted hair between her fingers.

“No matter how much he claimed to like me, he loved you. He’ll always love you. And even when he was completely oblivious, I know now that, deep down, he was always yours. He was never really mine, no matter how much we all thought differently.”

Y/n nods slowly, a small smile tugging at her lips when she hears Savannah’s words. It’s the first sense of hope she’s felt in a while, and it almost completely rids the pain. Almost.

“I’m sorry for ruining your relationship, though. I kind of feel like this is all my fault.”

Savannah laughs softly, finding it almost completely unbelievable that Y/n always finds a way to apologize, even when things aren’t her fault.

“Are you serious, Y/n? Nobody, including me, can love that man half as much as you do. I ruined your relationship. You barely had anything to ruin.”

She runs her hands through Y/n’s hair one last time before patting her shoulder, a smirk growing on her face as she stands up from her kneeling position.

“Now, up you go. I believe you have to talk to someone who’s been dying to see you.”


It’s when Y/n is about to walk out of her door, freshly showered with a new change of clothes, ready to face Harry when she realizes she never said it.

She never fully told Harry she loves him, not when he was conscious, at least. She had felt it for so long, it has taken over her for so long, yet she never told him how she felt. It almost makes her wonder if it’s the reason why he’s been trying so hard for her.

He needs to hear her say it.

“It’s not hard.” She mumbles to herself as she unlocks her front door.

“Not hard, I just have to fucking sa—”

“Y/n!” Harry breathes out, springing from his position on the ground up to his feet.

He twitches when he instinctively brings his hand up to reach for her, but he holds himself back. He isn’t quite sure how far he’ll allow her to go, but if it were up to him, every part of her would be against him. Every single part.

She sucks in a breath, not expecting to see him waiting on her doorstep, and certainly not expecting him to seem so relieved to see her.

“H—Harry,” she whispers hesitantly, “what are you—“

“I’m sorry!” He stutters, interrupting her before she has a chance to finish asking her question.

“I know how inappropriate it is of me to just sit on your doorstep so unexpectedly but I knew Savannah was coming and I thought that maybe this would be the only time I’d get to see you and I was going to come in but some guy came running out of here and I didn’t want to get in between your time with Savannah so I just figured I’d wait until you came back out but I wasn’t sure if you ever would so I just figured I'd—“

He stops rambling when he feels Y/n’s hand on his cheek, her eyes looking at him with so much tenderness he swears his heart melts.

“Catch your breath, Harry.” She mumbles, rubbing her thumb along his cheek, “Just take a breath.”

He inhales sharply as he closes his eyes, turning his head so that her hand is against his lips. He kisses her palm softly before she moves it to play with his unbrushed hair.

His eyes flutter shut at her touch, his body almost completely melting into her. He feels his weakest now more than ever, and he’s never been more relieved to be this close to her again.

“Who was he, Y/n?” he whispers.

“The guy, who ran out of here, who was he?“

As much of a coward as it makes him, the thought of her in bed with someone else physically and mentally pains him more so than he’s ever expected. His head swims with thoughts of her naked, trembling, crying as she devotes her love to some other man, and the more he thinks about it, the more sick his stomach feels.

“Have I been trying for nothing? Have I been wasting my time?”

How could you ever doubt my love for you? is the first thought that comes to her. How could you ever question how much I love you?

Instead of saying the words right at the tip of her tongue, her eyes crease inward, slightly shaking her head as she scrapes her fingertips delicately against his scalp.

“I don’t know, Harry.” she whispers honestly, “I don’t know who he is.”

He nods softly, but nothing in her answer reassures him. He knows there is no other explanation for a guy to run out of her house at nine in the morning without a shirt on.

“May I come in? Wanna talk.” He asks tentatively.

“Of course you can.”

Silence falls between them as they both claim spots on opposite sides of the room. 

There’s a tension in the room they both can’t seem to shake, an unaddressed barrier between them making it nearly impossible to find an appropriate way to start a conversation.

Harry’s the first one to break the silence, however, after a few minutes past of each of them refusing to make any eye contact with each other. 

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

The question caught Y/n’s attention quickly, her head that was once resting in the palm of her hand now up on its own, a small “hm?” parting past her lips.

She’s acting dumb even though she knows exactly what he’s talking about. She just isn’t prepared to answer him, not in the way he wants her to.

“That you’re in love with me. Were you ever going to tell me?”

She shrugs, her teeth biting her bottom lip as she tears her gaze away from his. She isn’t used to confrontation, especially when it involves her emotions. It’s one of her weaknesses, but there’s absolutely no way around this one. Even if there was, she wouldn’t have the audacity to take it. He deserves to know—everything this time.

“I told you before.”

Harry’s jaw clenches, eyes narrowing as he looks at her from across the room. No, he may have been oblivious about her feelings in the beginning, but he sure as hell would never have forgotten it if she told him how she felt.

“Bullshit!” He scoffs. “You didn’t tell me shit! We wouldn’t be here right now if you had told me!”

She sighs, her cheek laying right back down in the palm of her hand, almost as if shying away from him.

“Well, it’s just—you were sleeping.”

Harry stands from his place on the couch, face scrunching in aggravation as his hands rub up and down his face.

“You’re kidding me, right? You have to be fucking kidding me right now!”

His fingers harshly grip the roots of his hair before stomping is way towards her. If he doesn’t get any answers out of her, he swears he’ll lose his goddamn mind.

His hands grip the sides of her face, squeezing her jaw between his hands as he looks at her bewildered.

“I need answers, Y/n. I don’t think you understand how many fucking answers I need right now.”

He speaks through clenched teeth and a tightened jaw, frustration boiling in his blood as she gives him the outright most ambiguous and outrageous answers he’s ever heard in his life.

Y/n places her hands on top of his, her fingernails digging gently into his skin. Despite the harshness of his stare, this is the first time she’s seen him in weeks, and she still finds him to be the most beautiful sight she’s ever seen.

“It was the night after I drove you back from Lexi’s, when you and Savannah were kind of going through that rough patch.”

He falls to his knees in between her legs, an almost unnoticeable smile tugging at his lips from the memories of that night. Because although Savannah had left him by himself, he had a night with Y/n that changed him forever.

"You fell asleep on me, after you told me you were still going to fight for her. That was probably one of the worst things you could have said to me, but you didn’t know, and I was angry at myself for not telling you sooner. I didn’t know how else to tell you unless you were—you were sleeping.”

His hand reaches up to her lips, his thumb tracing along the outlines of her mouth once she’s done speaking. No matter how much she confuses him, and no matter how fucking angry she makes him, he wouldn’t want to be staring at anybody else right now.

“I loved you then, too” he whispers, “I didn’t know it. I didn’t know anything until you left me. I knew you meant everything to me, I knew you were the only one I trusted so deeply. But the second I lost you, I felt empty.”

He presses his forehead against her collar bones, her heart beating quickly against his neck. She sighs, her fingers intertwining with his against her lap as her hips slide more towards the edge, her knees supporting the sides of his chest.

“Didn’t matter that I had Savannah. She was lovely, don’t get me wrong, but she wasn’t you. I tried so hard to make myself believe I was just missing you as a friend, but there was nothing that convinced me.”

His tearful eyes looked into hers, both chuckling slightly at their current state. They’re both crying, both their hearts racing in their chests. If someone were to tell them now that there’s a feeling even remotely close to how beautiful they feel now, together, they wouldn’t have believed it for a second.

Y/n wipes away the loose tears on his cheeks while she sniffles, giggling softly at how stupid they probably look.

“I’ve always loved you, Harry,” she whispers, “there’ll never be a time that I stop. No matter how hard I try, my love for you is stronger.”

It’s when the words fall from her lips that Harry realizes all he needed was for her to hear her say it. Her voice is so sweet as she says it, too, and her eyes leave no trace out doubt when she looks into him.

He tries to hold back the irresistible urge to kiss her, but it’s completely impossible. His lips press feverishly against hers, both of them releasing moans at just how right it feels to be kissing one another. Their kiss isn’t the slightest bit romantic. It’s harsh, it’s desperate, it’s messy but it’s just what they need.

Harry crawls on top of her, his hands on every part of her they can touch. He groans when he feels her nails scratch down his back, leaving her giggling underneath him.

“Mine.” He growls, his thumb putting pressure right underneath her chin.

He admires her face, the glorious look of her swollen lips, wet eyes, and pink cheeks. It’s the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen. A soft whimper leaves her lips, craving nothing more than to feel his lips against hers again.

“These lips are mine. All of you—all of you is mine. No other fucking wanker gets you the way I do.”

She smirks, her eyes half-lidded.

“‘m not allowed to sleep with random guys but you’re allowed to fuck my best friend?”

He presses his lips against her again, his hands brushing loose strands of hair away from her face as he does so.

“Never fucked her,” He mumbles against her lips, “couldn’t get you off my mind.”

Y/n rolls over so that she’s on top of Harry, her legs on either side of his waist as her hands roam his chest through his t-shirt. He looks priceless like this, weak and breathless underneath her as her hands grip the sides of his face.

“The prettiest man I’ve ever seen.”

He blushes, his bottom lip in between his teeth as he sends her the biggest grin she’s ever seen on him. His eyes are full of love, too, and Y/n swears every breath she had the chance to take has been knocked right out of her.

“Nobody makes me feel the way you do, Y/n. Nobody.

You

Originally posted by rossfbutlers


Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader

Request: “17 - Zach Dempsey”

Prompt:

17. “Well, she’s hot. Why don’t you try to date her?”

Word count: 1.530

Posted: 16th of May 2017

A/N: OMG! It’s my baby’s birthday, happy birthday to my angel and cinnamon roll, and I would appreciate it if you talk about MILES in my ask box. I am disappointed and sad too, so Miles would really cheer me up right now. I am so tired and I have some tests and oral tests for tomorrow, that sucks! I hate school so much and I can’t wait for it to end. Honestly.
I hope that you like this Zach imagine and I would appreciate it if you send some requests. Thank you so much, I love you all.

- G. x

Warning: few bad words, I think.


“Zachary Dempsey!” You shouted as you tried to catch your best friend’s attention. You were complaining about some iniquities of your Maths teacher about your surprised long test earlier that day, but you stopped when you noticed that he wasn’t listening to you.

You decided to have a picnic after school as you wanted to study for your Peer Communications exam together. Your final exams were coming soon and school was about to end, finally.

The day seemed so calm and tranquil. The mild and fine weather just came in as the colourful flowers bloomed and the trees suddenly became green. The heat of the sun kissed your skin as the howling gale made your hair sway in different directions and the only noise that could be heard was your fussy voice, together with the chirping of the birds.

“What the hell?” He jumped a little bit, accidentally throwing his pen on the blanket that you were sitting on. “What is your problem?” He asked with his furrowed eyebrows, still having his gaze concentrated in somewhere else.

“Dude, I was blabbering with no one!” You nudged him to catch his attention, but he was lost in his thoughts once again so you followed his lost gaze.

Your heart suddenly ached and your chest tightened as you saw him staring at a familiar and pretty girl from afar.

“Hannah.” You slowly nodded your head as you closed your heavy and thick Communications textbook. You remained in silence as you dealt with the deafening sound of the falling fragments of your heart.

Honestly? You really liked Zach since your Sophomore year. It started with a simple and innocent crush, but you started going out as friends and your feelings for him just grew wider and deeper. You tried to repress every emotion that you felt for him by avoiding him once, but it was useless because you kept on falling in love with him more and more every day, at first slowly, but then all at once.

“What’s up with her?” You curiously asked as you twiddled with the pen in your right hand. You stared at Zach and he suddenly looked at you.

“Just thinking about what happened during Valentine’s Day.” Zach answered and he flashed you a sad smile. You corrugated your forehead as he said that he didn’t have any date that night and he was going out with his friends, but it came out that he was with her, at least, that was what you expected that happened. “Don’t look at me like that, because I know what you’re thinking!” He playfully ruffled your hair and he gave you some loud laughs.

“Why? What am I thinking about?” You asked as you pretended to be innocent, obviously didn’t want to be caught.

“I was with my friends that night, stop being jealous.” He joked and he just laughed even harder when he received a loud slap on his arm, it didn’t have any effects on him as he was strong and muscular.

“I never thought that you weren’t with them!” You rolled your eyes as you lied through your teeth. Zach shook his head happily and you noticed how enthusiastic he was when you acted jealous around him.

“Yeah, right!” He rolled his eyes and he watched Hannah reading a book from afar. You watched her too and, although you could barely see her, you still had the chance to admire her features: long brown wavy hair, pink rosy cheeks and red full lips. She was beautiful and you couldn’t deny that it wasn’t impossible to like her, nevertheless her bad reputation at school. “Her date was Marcus.”

“They hang out together?” You curiously asked. Marcus had a really different behaviour compared to Hannah and it was strange for them to go on a date together.

“The Dollar Valentine of the cheerleaders.” He shortly answered as he finally closed his textbook too. You remembered how your previous Valentine’s Days went in the past few years and you were thankful that you decided to stay with your parents this year. “Marcus was an asshole though.”

“I have always said it.” You proudly stated as you flashed him a convinced wide smile. Zach nodded his head as he was agreeing to what you have just said. “Then what happened?”

“Well, he thought that Hannah was an easy one, just like what those school walls heard from some students about her.” Zach looked at you and he caught your eyes, but quickly looked away. “Long story short: Marcus wanted to have sex with her and, of course, Hannah rejected him.”

“Damn it! Where’s the fucking respect?” You complained and you furrowed your eyebrows as Marcus’ behaviour disgusted you. How can a man do something like that? It wasn’t even a behaviour to consider.

“I know.” Zach shortly answered. “Hannah spent the night crying as I remained with her, trying to make her laugh.”

“And?” You raised your shoulders as you waited for further explanations.
“And nothing, I talked and she listened. Nothing more.” Zach honestly answered and a dead silence was created between the two of you.

You knew Zach perfectly and you’ve always noticed it whenever he would lie about things. It didn’t seem that he was lying, so you believed him, although you still thought that he liked her.

Well, she’s hot. Why don’t you try to date her?” You suddenly blurted out as you were trying to find some interesting topics to talk about. You hated the silence when it came to Zach, you find it annoying when you couldn’t find any topic to discuss about.

“What?” Zach slightly shouted and you could say that he was shocked too. He didn’t expect you to say those things. You couldn’t understand why you chose that topic out of all the possible topics in the world, it was embarrassing and you somehow hinted him that you didn’t find him interesting nor you weren’t interested in him.

“Well,” You knew that you couldn’t take everything back anymore. You were afraid of what he might say about it, but you needed to go with the flow. “she’s beautiful. Isn’t she?”

“She is,” Zach honestly answered and you harshly felt a dart hitting perfectly the bullseye of your heart. “but it doesn’t mean that I want to date her.” He emphasized his words, trying to make you understand his point.

“Why not, Dempsey?” You pushed yourself to the limit and you still continued on teasing Zach, even though you knew that it wouldn’t be a good thing for you.

“Because it’s a no, (Y/N)!” Zach ruffled your hair once again and you just laughed as you noticed that he was starting to be annoyed. He’s never liked it whenever you would take care of his relationships, neither when you talk about your celebrity crushes or your admiration for some people.

“Tell me why!” You insisted and you kept on laughing as Zach gave you a death glare.

You held your stomach as you cried for your happiness. Annoyed Zach was the best Zach and you just loved it. Your laughter, though, was interrupted when Zach wrapped his arms around your neck and pulled you backwards, making you lean your body on his chest.

“What the he-“ You were about to complain for his unexpected actions, but then he suddenly pressed his lips on yours to shut you up. You were obviously shocked, because why would he do such thing?

Your eyes grew wide as the happening still had to sink in your mind, but as soon as Zach moved his lips to deepen the kiss, you flutter shut your eyes and enjoyed the movements of your lips as they locked and fitted perfectly. You started to play with his hair and he caressed your face, slowly drawing some circles on your burning cheeks.

“That’s why, (Y/N)! I’d like to date you, instead of her, because I love you!” Zach whispered in your ear, confessing his feelings as you broke the kiss in need of air. He let your head rest on his chest and you flashed him a wide smile. “Is that clear now?”

“More than clear, Dempsey!” You laughed and you rolled your eyes as you lingered the smell of his perfume on his neck. You loved his scent and you couldn’t deny that he attracted you even more.

“So?” He raised an eyebrow as he held your hand tightly, interlacing his fingers with yours. “Can I try to date you, instead?”

“Try?” You jokingly questioned him. “I thought we are already dating?”

“Well, your thoughts are never wrong.” He winked at you and you both let out some soft giggles, being happy and thankful of the fast, but great moment that happened just a few minutes ago.

Being happy is underestimated, it is stereotypical, but Zach? Zach had that capacity to take you to another world, to make you discover new emotions to feel whenever you were with him. You were beyond happy for sure, because it was you who he wanted to be with and not anyone else. He chose you and, like what he has said, he loved you.


Chat’s Heart Gets Stung!

Hey @edendaphne  so I did the thing…

Here is the artwork of Eden’s that inspired this.

I have no idea what I just created…


Marinette had a strange fear revolving around bugs, particularly scorpions (bug family or not Marinette considered them a bug and she was absolutely terrified of them). Needless to say Marinette was more than a little on edge when a guest speaker came to her class with containers and containers of bugs, including scorpions. While most girls were squealing over the various spiders and tarantulas Marinette eyed the scorpion’s cage warily. She wiped sweaty palms against her jeans and swallowed hard. Her heart drummed in her chest and her breathing felt much too shallow.

“Girl chill out it’s in a cage!” Alya shook her head.

“It could still get out!” Marinette pointed out.

“We’re almost legal adults and you’re telling me you still have a phobia of scorpions?” Alya shook her head incredulously.

“You’re still afraid of swing sets!” Marinette shot back.

“Hey those things are a deathtrap!!!” Alya snapped. Marinette raised an eyebrow at Alya’s outburst. Alya took a deep calming breath. “Okay you’re right but don’t you think it’s about time we faced our fears? Maybe today is the day we leave these silly phobias behind…” Alya urged Marinette towards the table of critters. Marinette’s chest tightened. She shook her head violently, flipping around in Alya’s arms and looking up at her pleadingly.

“Today is not that day!” Marinette pushed Alya away from the table, a lump already forming in Marinette’s throat. Alya sighed in resignation, patting her friend comfortingly on the back. Adrien noticed the girl in distress and began to move away from the table to see what was wrong. All the while Lila sat by and watched. She sent a loathsome look towards Marinette. Lila looked towards the table, smiling cruelly as she discreetly knocked one of the containers to the ground releasing its contents unknowingly into the classroom.

“Hey Marinette is everything okay?” Adrien asked. He knit his brows together as he looked on the frightened girl. Marinette squeaked, nearly jumping into the air at the sound of his voice. She turned to him pulling at one of her pigtails as she did so, cheeks pink.

“I’m fine! I just I- um- I- uh- bugs um they uh- the scorpions they- I uh-“ Marinette fumbled for words running her fingers nervously through one of her pigtails. A smile pulled at the edges of Adrien’s lips.

“Not a fan of scorpions?” Marinette nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. “Want to know something? I’m afraid of spiders,” Adrien admitted.

“Y-you are?!” Marinette’s eyebrows shot up into her bangs.

“Yeah, they really freak me out.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“They do kill 6.6 people every year!” Marinette blurted. Adrien chuckled.

“So they kill six people and a half person?” Adrien smirked tilting his head to the side.

“Well technically it would by 60% of a person,” Marinette babbled, face growing red. She couldn’t believe she was saying this. To her relief Adrien laughed.

“Somehow I think we are getting this statistic wrong,” Adrien said.

“We probably-“ before Marinette could finish the thought Lila let out a sharp scream. Everyone turned towards her in alarm. Her eyes were blown wide as she pointed a shaky hand towards Marinette.

“Scorpion!!” she shouted. Marinette’s heart beat sped out of control. Her mouth went dry as her head slowly shifted down to see a small black scorpion resting on her foot. Marinette screamed as panic swept over her. Her body jerked backwards in an attempt to shake the scorpion from her. She stumbled backwards throat raw from the inhumanly high pitched noise emanating from her. She fell back onto the ground scorpion landing on her stomach. Her chest felt tight her breathing shallow and erratic. Perspiration lined her forehead. She could hear her pulse pounding haphazardly in her ears.

Keep reading

Suga Daddy: Part 4

Suga Daddy: Part 4

Word count: 9k

Genre: smut, angst

So this chapter really means a lot to me so I hope you like it. Let me know if you want. Enjoy! Also, I didn’t have enough time to edit this how I wanted to. Sorry about the mistakes.

parts: one | two | three 




The week had gone by super quickly, much to your dismay. You had hoped for a slow week. You had tried to focus on school and your dance classes. Yugyeom had been a great distraction but sadly he wasn’t over today and neither was Yoongi. You had been so use to him spending the night that when he slept over last night you were shocked not to find him in bed with you. The truth was he had been over every night this week. It was weird to you, he’d hadn’t come over everyday since the beginning. One night you didn’t even have sex, you just cuddled on the couch and made out.

Then again he would barely talk to you. He’d come over and give you some of the best sex, fall asleep holding you and then would be gone once you woke up. You didn’t think much of it though because that’s something you were used to. What you were freaking out about was him texting you everyday about your parents.

Keep reading

Suit and Tie

Written for: @gaybybirth 

Summary: Bucky is your date for a dinner party and you two sneak off to have some fun of your own 

A/N: Whew, this was a long one. I wrote this for one of my fav blogs and honestly I’ve had the worst writer’s block but this was so fun!! I’ll be getting out other requests soon :) Also please send me things!

Warnings: Bucky in a suit goddamn, Dom!Bucky, metal hand kink, fingering, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex (no babies here; wrap it up kids)

Word Count: 3.6k+

Originally posted by fvckmxk

Keep reading

Phantom - Bucky x Reader

TAKING REQUESTS

MASTERLIST

Summary: You lost your hand in an explosion and receives a metal one similar to Bucky’s.

Warnings: Injury (??)

Words: 2 192

Y/N: Woah it’s been a while since I posted I’m sorry bout that. Anyway, here’s some random Bucky thing I had in mind!

Originally posted by hospitalheaven


She slowly began to detect the light behind her closed eyelids. Images of the accident crashed into her mind like a hurricane, causing her heart to start beating furiously. She could still hear her own scream, still feel the pain.

“Y/N?” She could have sworn it was Bruce speaking, but his voice sounded distant. She could barely hear it.

She remembered the deafening ringing in her ears after the bomb had gone off. The warm wetness of her own blood on her face, staining her skin gruesomely. She remembered her body becoming paralyzed from the agony. Her throat had began to taste of blood from her dry and almost inhumanly loud scream.

“Y/N?” It was Steve, and she was certain this time around. She could hear him call her name somewhere in her dazed head. She wanted to pry her eyes open and look at the man, but she couldn’t.

She felt the numbness in her entire, right arm and felt her breathing become shallow as she realized what awaited her when she’d come to her senses.

“Calm down, Y/N. You’re okay now, alright? We’re all back at the Tower. Everyone of us are here and no one else is hurt.” Steve rambled, trying to reassure her. She wanted to cry both because she was scared and because she was happy. She didn’t cry for neither of those reasons as her body finally allowed her to even open her eyes.

The bright lights felt as if they burned her eyes like the sun itself. Her vision was blurry and unfocused yet she detected movement around her.

“Hey…” She felt the warmness of a hand on her arm, seeing what she recognized to be Steve’s figure in front of her. “Are you good? Do you feel okay?”

She shook her head no, but he knew what she meant. Bruce came to the other side of the hospital bed she laid in and and placed his hands on the handles along the sides.

“You remember, don’t you?” He suspected, eyes looking down at her with pity as she slowly nodded. Bruce and Steve exchanged a look over the bed before turning to look down at her again.

“Just take it slow. Remember that even if it isn’t your own flesh, it’s still you.” Steve smiled painfully and squeezed her left arm softly for further reassurance.

Not having it in her to wait any longer, she turned her head slightly towards her right and looked down, seeing the metal hand rest at her side and reaching up to her forearm where its edge was hidden behind bandages, her reddened and scarred arm continuing above the tightly wrapped fabric.

She whimpered, feeling sick to the very core of her bones. She couldn’t feel her entire arm due to the sedatives, but she would never be able to feel her hand again. It was gone, blown away by the bomb she had tried to grab and throw away before it exploded. Obviously, she had failed, and she would have to live with her actions for the rest of her life.

“Bucky has been with you day and night since we got home, but when you started to wake up, he said he couldn’t see your reaction to all of this, so he left…” Steve explained as he was sure she had already wondered where Bucky was, and he was right. Amongst the first things she noticed was the lack of his presence in the room as she woke up. She couldn’t be mad at him though. He had suffered through the loss of a limb before. Watching someone else do the same would bring up old memories she doubted were even remotely pleasant.

The change of subject calmed her down and distracted her from her lack of a right hand. Yet, she still thought of it subsequently as she thought of when Bucky would visit her.

“Don’t try and move your arm yet. You need to heal and rest before you do anything, arm or not… But I have to say, Tony did a superb work.“

She nodded before her mind began to drift again. "How long have I-” Steve held up a hand kindly to hinder her from speaking further and straining her voice.

“Two days, going on your third.” Steve answered, studying her closely to figure out how she was feeling. The amount of time she had been out did not seem to bother her but he could see her eyes continuously trying to catch a glimpse of her hand.

“Did everyone else make it?” She bit her lip as she tried to contain the overwhelming emotions that came crashing down on her like a wave.

“Yes. Everyone’s alright.” He assured. “You saved their lives… You’re a hero.”

She huffed, looking away from Steve. She didn’t feel like a hero even the slightest. She did not see their mission as accomplished but as failed. How could she be a hero when a third of her arm had been blown off? She didn’t understand Steve’s logic at all.

“It’s true.” He attempted to convince her. “I don’t doubt you feel pretty roughed up right now, but you saved the lives of a dozen people. Your sacrifice saved them.”

She bit down on her lip. She could feel the unexplainable loss of her hand. It felt as if it should be there at the same time as she could feel it was gone. She swore she could feel the tip of her fingers, but she didn’t feel them at all. It was all games that her mind played.

“When can I move it?” She managed to ask Bruce who had been silent for a while. He cleared his throat and looked down at her bionic hand.

“Your nerves were also injured in the explosion. Your new hand is already connected to your nerve system but it will all need a few days to heal and adapt.” He looked her in the eyes briefly. “An exact time is impossible to determine.”

She nodded vaguely and propped her head to the center of her pillow and stared up at the ceiling. Only a second after, the door opened, and in came Bucky. She looked up at him but he didn’t meet her stare. His glossed-over eyes went instantly to her hand and his jaw tightened. He would never admit it, but he had cried for her. The turmoil and torture he had gone through because of his own arm was too much for himself to grasp. For something so awful to happen to such a pure girl like Y/N had been harder on him than he would have thought.

“Bucky helped a lot.” Steve said as he noticed his old friend stare speechlessly at Y/N’s new hand. She looked up at Steve. “He let Tony completely break down his arm to create as good of a hand as we could for you.”

She barely believed the Captain. “Really?” She turned towards Bucky whose cheeks were flushing red. “Thank you.”

He didn’t want to be thanked. He wanted to be forgiven. He should have attempted to disarm the bomb, not Y/N. It should have been him.


Bucky made his way to the roof of the Stark Tower, knowing Y/N was there. Ever since Tony was so kind to build a medium sized greenhouse there after her accident, knowing how much she loved gardening, she had dedicated most of her wake time to her hobby. Partially it was because she liked gardening, the other part was because she was hiding from everyone. She didn’t want them to see her struggle with her new hand but would rather practice alone.

The luscious greenhouse came into his sight. The plants around the walls grew so thickly it was impossible to spot Y/N through them. He walked up to the open, glass door and looked down the pebble isle in the center. Further down the isle, Y/N was kneeling on the soft rocks and holding a watering can with both her hands.

He knocked twice on the open doors to make her aware of his presence. Her eyes snapped up in surprise and almost as if it was a reflex, her left hand covered her fright one.

“You don’t have to hide it.” He said as he took slow steps further inside the warm and humid greenhouse which smelled heavenly of jasmine and white tobacco. “Not to me.”

He waved his left arm in the air childly and smiled as he heard her chuckle softly at his goofy behavior. Her smile faded and she looked down at her hands. Hesitantly, she dragged her left hand away and exposed the metal one to the rays of sunshine that managed to seep past the greenery around her. Bucky stared at it, hating that he felt comfort from such a tragic thing. He just didn’t want to be alone, and he wish Y/N would somehow understand that.

“How are your plants feeling?” He tried to have a casual conversation. He walked inside to the opening in the isle where there was a small shed for all of Y/N tools but also a bench where Bucky took a seat.

She shook her head clear, trying to keep up with his mood swinging and topic changing. “Good.” Her eyes traveled around her personal slice of heaven which she was unimaginably grateful for. Her eyes locked onto the rich, red strawberries which grew along the pathway through the greenhouse in a narrow line. She picked a big and juicy looking one, standing up and bringing it to Bucky. “Here, try it! It’s a mix of strawberries and wild strawberries. They’re extra sweet.”

Bucky raised his metal hand and Y/N hadn’t realized she had picked the strawberry with her right one, her new one. Embarrassed and ashamed, she still placed the berry in Bucky’s palm. Their fingers accidentally touched and the metal on metal clinked. She pulled her hand back and took a deep breath. She tried to convince herself to stop being such a baby, especially considering that it was Bucky sitting in front of her who had a metal hand of his own to care about.

He took a bite of the strawberry and chewed on it for a bit longer to let the flavor get to him. After a few moments, he let out a small grown and nodded pleasingly. “That is ridiculously good.” He looked at the rest of the strawberry in his hand with amazement. “I’m just gonna put it on the record, but if you get up here one day and all of your strawberries are gone, it might have been me.”

She chuckled again and it warmed him to see her happy. God knows she deserved it.

“How are you doing, by the way? I know you don’t want to talk about your hand but I just want to know that you don’t need help handling things or something.” He couldn’t contain himself. The reason he had came up to her greenhouse was to see that she was alright. Of course, he didn’t at allied just watching her care for her flowers and other greens. He simply enjoyed being in her presence and there was something peaceful about the small greenhouse she had created on the roof of the Stark Tower, surrounded by city everywhere you looked. He loved it, just as she did.

She looked down at her hand. It was still wrapped with bandages where the metal was connected with the skin. She knew how it looked underneath, and it looked bad. Her skin was sizzled and the dents where bubbles had formed in the heat of the explosion had created round dents in her skin. It was brutal, grotesque, and she didn’t want to ever remove it.

“Alright.” She said after a long pause. “I mean, I’m doing fine. I can do practically anything. It’s the mental part that’s not really keeping up.” She tried to laugh it off, like it wasn’t a big deal, but Bucky knew it was. He had been in her shoes more times than she could imagine. Broken and afraid, hating yourself.

“I’m always here, you know that right?” He startled her by asking. He had never been so open to her before. “If you ever want to talk, you know. I’m one of the few around here that can relate to what you’re going through.”

She huffed again, almost laughing. “You’re the only one Bucky. Last time I checked, no one else has a bionic limb here.”

He leaned back on the bench, eating up the rest of the strawberry casually. “Even more reason for you to spend some extra time with me.”

Too Much

MASTERLIST

Requested: no A/N: I’m in Norway so this is a planned post. p>

Word count: 2,239

My back was resting against the soft, white pillow. I pulled the covers higher, covering my entire body. I felt cold, but it had nothing to do with the temperature in the bedroom, it was all about the enormous fight Shawn and I had earlier. Fighting with him always made me feel so cold, so tired and completely drained from any sort of energy. I was reading a book or at least trying to, but I hardly managed to read a single page.

Honestly, I just needed something to distract me from the fact that Shawn had left the apartment in anger and I hadn’t heard from him since.

Keep reading

Support Older Girl Groups Pt. 1: f(x)

This week on Support Older Girl Groups we are supporting f(x). If you want to know why you should participate even if this week isn’t about a group you stan, check out this post

So what this is is sort of a masterpost of ways to support the group of the week. And since it’s my favorite group and people have been taking about their status as a group a lot lately, I thought a logical place to start would be f(x).

This is far from everything f(x) has released, I just chose a few for each category so it would be easier to get the view up in a noticeable way. If you can’t put your effort into everything on this list, put your effort into 4 Walls, Free Somebody, All Mine, and On My Own. 

About the group

F(x) is an SM girl group that debuted in 2009. They were originally considered Asia’s Dance Group by SM.The members are Victoria, Amber, Luna and Krystal. Sulli also used to be part of the group. If you are looking for some different concepts, f(x) is definitely for you! They have done so many different concepts. I think you will notice their individuality as a group immediately!

Title tracks

4 Walls was their last music video and album to be released. It was released in 2015, so quite a while ago. It’s currently at 27,161,327 views, but deserves way more. Let’s get it to 30mil!

Red Light came out in 2014 and was their last music video and album with Sulli. It currently has 36,027,739 views, so it’s close to 40mil! it would be really awesome to get it to 50 mil sooner rather than later too. 

Rum Pum Pum Pum is pretty close to 50 mil, and it would be really great for them it! It currently has 46,309,778 views. 

Stations 

All Mine was the last music video f(x) has released. it was released in July of 2016 and currently has 8,411,608 views. Let’s get it to 10mil! This is a really special music video and song because it had been so long since f(x) had any activities together, and it has been a long time since, Also the music video was directed by Amber! I would be really great if this music video in particular had a big spike in views! 

Heartbeat is an amazing and sweet song by Amber and Luna. It’s honestly such a great song and Amber and Luna make such a could unit (they really should be a subunit.) But the music video is still yet to reach 1mil views! It’s currently at 901,491 views. That’s not that bad for a Station song but Heartbeat and the group deserve so much more. Let’s get it to 1mil and then much farther from there!

Borders is an Amber solo that she wrote and is very special to her. Honestly I cried to first time I heard it, it’s just too dang relatable lmao. Another thing that you might like is it is in English, and it has subtitles in both Korean and English. It currently has 5,221,617 views, which is actually pretty good for a Station song. But Amber has really been having hard times with her solo work an SM, so a spike in the views could really help. 

Solos

Free Somebody is Luna’s solo debut from May 2016. It’s such a great song that shows off both her beautiful voice and dance skills. Sadly it was not promoted well and got overshadowed by other SM comebacks, so it didn’t do nearly as well as it should. It currently has 8,154,679 views. Let’s get it to 10mil! 

On My Own was part of Amber’s Crossing series that she was making on her own Youtube Channel. Sadly, Crossing was never finished. We are not sure what happened to it, but based off of her cryptic Instagram posts (still the last two she posted if you want to go read them), it doesn’t sound like it was good. On My Own is a really important song to support for the same reason as Borders. It’s currenly at 1,040,418 views. Let’s get it to 2mil! and then maybe even 5mil!

I Don’t Want to Love You was not exactly a solo, but a collaboration between Krystal and June One Kim. It’s also not under SM and it’s not in Korean so it wasn’t that popular. But watching it will still help support f(x)! Also, it’s a really interesting and different song. The music video is actually a little spooky (also the intro kinda drags on) But still please support it becasue it’s a good song! It currently has 453,638 views. Let’s get it to 1mil!

Other Stuff to Check Out

Luna’s Alphabet is a vlog series on Youtube that Luna has been making, and it’s getting a season 3 soon! The videos usually range from around 5 to 15 mins long. And don’t worry, there are English subtitles!

Amber’s channel is where she posted her Crossing songs. There are only 4 videos but it wouldn’t hurt to subscribe anyway!

What The Pineapple was Amber’s Youtube channel for basiclly anything else she wanted to post. There are lots of funny things on it you should really check it out! Also it is primarily in English but there are Korean subtitles. Sadly it has been a long time since she last posted to it, but maybe if the views spike she will bring it back, or get to start something like Luna’s Alphabet.

Ending Notes

Please reblog this and share this as much as possible! This project will do no real good unless it is a group effort. And please watch the videos as much as possible! It would do the most good if you guys watched each one (or at least the title tracks) multiple times a day this week (and weeks to come.) I’m not expecting you to take the time to watch all of Luna’s Alphabet or What the Pineapple, but if you could watch all the music videos that would really help not only f(x), but all older girl groups! If you want people to put the effort to help out your favorite older girl groups, help out other people’s faves too! Remember, next week’s post could be your favorite group!

Also remember!

Listen to all of these songs on Spotify

Buy them and or the albums if you can

Look out for Victoria’s solo album coming out soon

follow them all on social media

(If there is anything that needs to be fixed about this post feel free to message me)