i just needed this on my tumblr okay

nico cant take a break

self-pity is okay


but don’t let it turn into self-loathing


there is a line you need to learn


where the two start to fade into each other


and i know, it’s hard, i’ve been there


but don’t cross it


there are no paths over there


no guidance, just detrimental thoughts


it’s so easy to get lost and buried by your own mind


left with no air or will to exist


it’s all taken away from you so easily


and it’s such a cold place


i don’t want you to be stuck there


i don’t want you to be lost


i want you to have hope

how to stick your plans

by a horrible procrastinator

scheduling:

  • keep things realistic. you may think you can read 200 pages of jane eyre in one night, and honestly, you could…but you won’t unless that essay that’s 30% of your grade is due, you know, tomorrow.
    • you know your habits better than anyone. try to work around what you know you’re going to do. can you read about 25 pages without getting totally bored/sidetracked? well, make yourself do that. it’s only 25 pages, right?
  • try to accomplish one thing every day. don’t ever let your day slip away from you without doing anything. even if that “one accomplishment” is making a stupid text post on tumblr or revising your notes or washing your sheets…just be productive!
    • this is especially important for those of you with mental illness! having a “zero day” can really plummet your mood or set you in an unproductive rut.
    • if you really feel like you need a day to just chill out, napping can count as your accomplishment
  • don’t push studying off! you’ve probably heard this one a million times, but seriously. don’t. you’re not going to retain 10 weeks worth of information with one study session…okay, maybe you can, but do you really want to?
    • the best, low-effort way of remembering information is to, at first, review it often. right after you learn the material, review it a couple times during the week. maybe re-write your notes that weekend. then, the next week, visit one or two times, just glazing over parts you don’t really remember well. then, maybe once every two weeks, etc…by the time you get to finals, you’ll be familiar with all the information! trust me, it works.
  • organize your to-do’s. personally, i make a huge to-do list for the entire week. then, i delegate different ‘levels’ of urgency to it (see below.) you can do this however you want, but i do it this way to help me visualize how lazy i can be and not pay for it…
    • i tend to organize it by these ‘categories’ / ‘urgent levels’
      • is there a quiz on the material due soon
      • how likely is there to be a pop quiz
      • what’s my grade in the class like / how badly do i need that ‘a’
      • does the homework/assignment need to be turned in
      • etc

actually doing it:

  • studyspo helps. okay, i know this is kind of obvious considering i’m a studyblr, but… you see that notebook you just bought? isn’t it fucking adorable? don’t you want to make some sweet, sweet note-love to it? you know you do.
    • don’t spend too much time setting up your work space or browsing tumblr. seriously. you know when you’re overstepping.
  • have some nice playlists. preferably with music you already know! if you don’t know the song already, chances are it’s just going to become a distraction.
    • 8tracks is a great site for this! you can make your own mixes or take a listen to one of the many, many study / chill playlists available. again, take a listen to the track on your way to class or whatever before actually trying to study with it on.
    • instrumentals + classical + video game music are the standard
  • get organized. messy = stressy. seriously. organize your desk, organize your notes. even if it’s not really your style, at least try to keep things ‘in your personal order.’ try to pretend you have your shit together. you will be so much more productive & confident if you feel in control of your situation.
    • if you’re a perfectionist, you may want to disregard this. really. you don’t want to put ‘tidiness’ above productivity.
    • taking pictures of your awesome, super-nice work space is awesome motivation. give that illusion of productivity. become tumblr famous.
    • if you can afford it, matching stationary and cute shit like that is super awesome feeling. it makes studying aesthetically satisfying.
  • take care of yourself. brush your teeth, put on that nice-smelling lotion, drink water. eating healthy foods, getting some exercise, all that good shit people tell you to do…it really is important. it’s kind of hard to focus or remain motivated if you’re miserably bloated & haven’t showered in 3 days.
    • especially for my neurod or mentally ill followers!

i fucked up

  • repeat after me: IT’S OKAY. IT’S OKAY. we all fuck up. you’re allowed to fuck up. sometimes assignments don’t get done, sometimes we don’t do as well on tests as we’d like. it’s okay. you’re okay.
  • recovery. alright, so, now that we’ve accepted that we’re human beans who sometimes grow upside-down…
    • cuddle in a blanket, and write down what you think you did wrong. did you not study enough? do you need to go to your professors office hours? write down your ideas.
    • let your failure motivate you! you hit your lowest point, alright? now you can focus on doing better, even if it’s just a few points difference.
    • you can do some things wrong. you don’t need to get an A every single time. did you understand 50% of the material? well, that’s halfway there!
    • you’re not going to be perfect at everything. we all have growing pains.

well, that’s all i have to say. keep growing towards the sun, kids.

2

My beautiful wife and my edgy son


UPDATE: DO NOT REPOST IM HAVING A LOT OF REPOSTING TROUBLE WITH THESE IN PARTICULAR

Okay so this idea popped into my head you guys and I had to.

i am currently very tired it is quite late (1 AM) but this just really needed to happen because my sleepy tired brain said OH HELL YES to this idea and here we are. Im not great at Chibi okay, just leave me be. Also I included Robin because I fuckin love that guy and his work he’s a marvelous human being

It’s also 16 million subs time, which mean probably like five people will actually see my crazed doodle (hello!), so if you don’t think that its absolute crap (I do) drop a like. -scroll on if you don’t want to read about my jack experience, mmkay? Thanks, have fun on tumblr!-

I found Jack at about 3 mil, but the first video I watched was his 1 mil subscriber Draw my Life. He was adorable, and Irish, and I was intruiged. At the time, he was uploading the Deadpool series, and it had just started. So I watched that. And Bully. And all of Stranded Deep, Subnautica, Sims 4, and The Escapists, in a week or so. I loved the energy and spirit that he had, though, to me, he wasn’t all that loud haha.

Flash forward to now, (three? it’s about three, maybe four) years later, and I’m off to college. I still watch Jack daily, usually both videos. Only one if it’s horror, lol, I’m a baby and can’t handle the scares. I still love his energy and spirit, and I appreciate how Jack has matured and grown along with the channel. I hope to continue to watch his content for as long as he makes it.

Oh wow are you still reading this…uh…not sure how to end it… hi? Thank you for taking your time to read this, have a good rest of your day/night in this tag!

yes i know that the can has wrong perspective shut up it’s one in the morning and im trying to draw cut me some slack okay thanks

I deactivated my Facebook recently. I barely text people nowadays. I wake up, eat and shut myself in my room each day. It’s not because I hate the world. It’s not because I want to brood. It’s not because I am some sad soul longing to be away from here. Okay, I guess I am a bit of each but mostly I am just tired. Tired of all the noise around me, tired of people telling me how I should be, and tired of having emotions for lovers that are temporary. I just need some quietness in this loud world that talks too much but speaks so little sense. So, please leave me in my solitude. I have already given the world too much attention, now let me be.
—  AM // in my silence
Sometimes you lose people, and there’s just nothing that you can do about it. Sometimes you lose something that you love. Sometimes you’re replaced by someone else and shifted to a not-so-important place in that one confidant’s heart. Sometimes relationships change and you end up feeling a little bit lonely. Sometimes you just aren’t the right fit, you just aren’t the soul that that other person needs.
—  🖤

How to study like a straight A student

I did really well during my first year of college, and aside from a B+ in statistics (which was really good for me, haha! I’m not good at math), I had A’s in all of my classes. I’m certain that the reason I did so well was due to the way that I figured out how to study, so here are some tips I have based on what I did to study this past year!

1. Sit in the front row.

This isn’t high school anymore, it’s not embarrassing or nerdy to sit in the front row. By sitting in the front row, you won’t be tempted to check your phone and you won’t be distracted by looking at the people around you. I focus best in the front row. This also gives you a chance to easily ask any questions you have.

2. Show up to class a little early.

Show up to class about five minutes early every day, if possible. During the time it takes your professor to get set up, read through your previous notes. If you do this every day, you’ll begin to memorize info that you certainly wouldn’t have learned if you spent those five minutes before class just scrolling through tumblr. 

3. Type your notes and print them out.

If you prefer to spend a lot of time on hand written notes, then go crazy. However, I don’t really have time to make aesthetic notes, so I prefer to just write my notes by hand during class, then copy them into microsoft word so I can organize and print them out. This makes the notes much easier to read, and it’s much easier on the eyes. 

4. Do every assignment. Yes, EVERY assignment.

I don’t know why there’s advice floating around on tumblr telling people that it’s okay to skip a ton of homework assignments, because I definitely wouldn’t recommend it at all. Of course some assignments might be stupid or seem too small to matter, but if you’re being graded on them, you need all the points you can get. Trust me, just because homework assignments only account for 10-15% of your final grade, that doesn’t mean that they won’t be the difference between a B+ and an A-. Think about it: if your homework is 10% of your grade and you didn’t do it, you would literally have to get NOTHING wrong on your exams just to get the lowest A- possible. 

5. Don’t skip. Don’t skip. Don’t skip. 

Don’t skip if you can help it. If there is a serious emergency and you really can’t make it, try your hardest to get the best notes you can from someone who was in class. There’s nothing worse than sitting down for a test and realizing that a ton of the questions are about content you missed when you were absent. 

6. Go over material in your head when you’re not busy. 

If you’re in the shower or waiting in line at the cafe, go over class material in your head. Think about what you learned that day. If you do this often, this will help significantly with retention. 

7. Make flashcards throughout the semester, not the night before the final.

Don’t be one of those students who has to relearn an entire textbook the week before finals. If you’re studying right, studying for finals should be relatively painless. Throughout the semester, make flashcards of class content and regularly go over them. The easiest way to do this is to use quizlet.com and fill in definitions and other things you need to know, and use their helpful games and quizzes to memorize the info. It even keeps track of the definitions you rarely get wrong, so you know what you don’t need to study as much. 

8. Makes specific agendas for what you need to study and get done. 

When I study, I need to have a very specific to-do list detailing exactly what I want to get done. This will motivate you to keep going because you’re able to check off what you’ve already done. 

9. Don’t get discouraged by a bad grade- take it as motivation.

This is much easier said than done, but I had to do this in my western civilization class when I very nearly failed the first set of exams. If this happens to you, you should definitely take time to be upset about the grade, but don’t let yourself think it’s the end of the world. If you do badly, at least you know what to expect on the next assignment/exam so you know how to alter your studying to prepare for the next one. You can do it! I started western civ with a high D+ after my first exams, but I pulled out with an A- at the end of the semester! 

My dear trans daughters, 

If you are trying out make-up, “feminine” clothes etc. for the first time, i want to tell you some things: 

1. First of all… *big mommy bear hug*! I’m so proud of you! This is a big step and it’s very exciting! 

2. You are likely excited, too - but you may also be nervous or even scared. Please know that those feelings are completely normal. They’re not a sign that you’re “faking it”. Trust me when i tell you that almost all of your trans sisters felt the same way. You’re not alone, darling. 

3. Nobody is born a makeup artist. Every girl - cis or trans - needs to practice how to put on mascara or lipstick without ending up looking like a horror clown. The only difference is that cis girls usually get taught how to at a young age. It’s not your failure that nobody taught you! So, what if you tried it and it looked awful? Don’t stress. You’ll get the hang of it eventually. It’s normal that it takes practice and time. 

4. The good thing about not being the only one? There were others before you who were in the same situation - and shared what they learned! There are tutorials on youtube, tumblr posts, websites etc. Don’t be afraid to use them. 

5. It’s okay to take baby steps. You don’t need to try it all at once. Maybe putting on nail polish, mascara and a dress today feels overwhelming - but just putting on clear nail polish sounds much less scary! There’s nothing wrong with slowly working your way up to the look you dream off. 

6. You don’t need to do anything. You tried lipstick and you don’t like it? That’s okay! You don’t need to wear lipstick to be a real woman. You don’t enjoy wearing skirts? Many girls prefer pants, don’t worry! 

7. Have i already told you how amazing you are? 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom 

I’ve reached a point where loneliness isn’t as sharp of a pain as it used to be. There were times when it hurt all over, times when I’d find that I didn’t know what to do with myself. And now I kinda just lie here in the numbness, feel my heart beat. I’m here. I’m alive. That counts for something.
—  🖤

okay but does anyone else check people out artistically? like instead of thinking “wow I’d tap that” you just intensely appreciate their appearance and sit there and “holy shit look at the curve of their spine and that POSTURE but then there’s the shape of their eyes and THEIR HANDS AND -” *snaps pencil in half*

I am usually a quiet person, but can also be quite a talker to people I am close with. I love to tell stories, but when I stop talking, I’m closing myself to you. When I spill my thoughts and emotions, it is because I deem you worthy of them, that you’d listen and understand. I was wrong, so I’ll start saying more often that ‘I’m okay’ when you ask if I am, not because I want to fake my feelings, but I just don’t feel the need to explain them to you anymore; I’ll read more books or watch more shows that I love because I have no more stories to tell you; I’ll shut my mouth more because, really, I don’t know what to say to you anymore. I will try to stay, but as my words, surely I will also start fleeting away.
—  AM // i’m okay
I think I’ve gone
from bad to worse
in matter of days
and nobody
seems to notice it.


Is it the smile I fake?
Or is it the way
I avoid my own
questioning gaze?


Will anyone
ever ask me if
I am doing okay?
Or will I soon fade away?


I am scared that
no one notices
and I am scared
that someone will.



This isn’t a cry
for attention.
This is just a way
of letting you all in.
I didn’t need someone to fight my demons. I didn’t need someone whom would think that my darkest days were not important and told me, “It’s okay”. I just needed someone whom could accept them and still could love me the same.

hey everyone, i’m going to be honest here, you will never get rid of procrastination completely. unless i’m wrong, and there may be some possible way to completely get rid of procrastination. if so, i don’t think anyone has figured it out.

anywho, i’ve been procrastinating for years, so i feel like i have some decent tips on how to procrastinate less. here’s my advice!

1. focus on your discipline the most. your discipline skills are your biggest defense against procrastination. there will be times in your life where you just DON’T want to finish your essay, we’ve all been there. you need good discipline to get you in focus. stop thinking about all of those distracting concepts that pull you into procrastination, and start doing your work.

2. you need to keep the good motivation to fight procrastination. it ties along with #1, except motivation is more long term. if you want to accomplish your goals, you get the discipline needed to work for them.

3. try to find time around the day to do some work, especially at school. i do school work at lunch, and sometimes in the morning, as well as occasionally in class if i have free time, since i don’t have a study hall. it helps since it feels like you have less work to do during your normal studying times.

4. remember, doing a little bit of work for a big assignment is better than ditching it completely. if you get a project on the first day, and only manage to do 1/5 of it on that day, it really is better than not doing it at all. you might thank yourself later. try really hard to at least do ONE thing on any work you get on the first day.

5. multitask if more than one assignment correlates with another. if you have a history worksheet and a history test coming up, use the worksheet to review concepts when you need to study. i do this often, and it helps me more than just doing the worksheet. this might not help others though, and that’s fine too! if you can only focus on one thing at a time, you do your thing.

6. i cannot stress this enough, find any good time management that works for you. one popular option is the pomodoro technique (25 minutes of working with a 5-minute break. i’ve heard of other options as well, from 20 → 10, 40 → 20, and even 52 → 17. if you’re not into routines, at least take a break for 5-10 minutes whenever you feel mentally exhausted! just not every 5 minutes, trust me, that leads to procrastination after the second or third “break”.

7. use your “break” time (from #6) doing something relaxing and NOT distracting. unless you have godly discipline skills, i doubt going on your phone will cause you to get back to work properly. take a small walk, eat a snack, stretch, etc.

8. use those app/program blockers to block social media and messaging apps if you’re like me and you have severely weak discipline skills. nothing much will happen while you’re busy doing your work. if something does occur, that’s up to you to find out when you’re done with your work.

9. find a good place to actually do your work! my favorite is the library, it’s so peaceful and it gives the right setting for studying. try your best to study in the least distracting place possible. if you can’t, attempt to decrease as many distractions in your location as possible.

10. find what works for you in terms of listening to music. i personally listen to kpop, and some of us know how catchy the music can be. however, i can usually listen to kpop while doing worksheets without getting distracted. however, if i’m studying, retaking notes, reading, etc. i need ambient music (i mainly use rainymood.com!) to make me concentrate. some of us need instrumentals and/or ambient music, others can’t listen to music at all. that’s fine!

11. turn off your notifications, turn on airplane mode, put away your phone, etc. do anything that works for you. i need my phone as well as internet, so i just turn off my notifications, but not seeing any distractions might make you more likely to do your work.

12. plan things out when you get home. i personally cannot do my work first thing when i get home unlike some people, i get too mentally drained from school! i take a shower, and then eat lunch while doing my work. find out what works for you. i also cannot do the hardest assignment first to “get it out of the way”. i need a medium level assignment to prepare myself for the heavy mental work for the hard assignments!

13. as referring to #12, if one advice doesn’t work for you, don’t use it! we are all different, so if practically everyone you know can do one thing, and you’re better doing the opposite of that, just do what makes you better at productivity.

14. plan out big projects, quizzes, tests, etc. do not cram! i repeat! please! do not cram! it doesn’t feel good at all, and you’re more likely to score worse anyways. try to balance out your work/studying every day or a couple days a week with a good amount of time for all of those days. it helps your memorization more, too.

15. some say that studying in a different place once in a while helps. i personally never tried this, because my brain cares more about adaptation, but it has helped other people i know!

16. get comfortable when you study, but not too comfortable. don’t study on your bed, and please don’t study on the floor. your brain thinks of your bed as the place to sleep, so it’s best to not be on your bed often unless it’s for sleeping. for me at least, studying on the floor really kills my back. please get comfortable and find a table or desk or anything good!

17. another thing i do is that i switch assignments if i feel like i’m not focused. it helps me a lot, i would assume it lets my brain change focus to another productive activity which results in me gaining focus on something important!

18. do anything productive if you have a long break (or if you’re procrastinating haha). it gets your brain in a productive mood and it can help you focus when you go back to your work.

19. reward yourself for whatever bit of work you accomplish. my favorite rewards are my biggest distractions that i look forward to when i finish all of my work. :”)

20. take your free time away to do some extra work every once in a while. it certainly helps not to cram everything in one day.

21. please remember that it takes some, if not a lot of time to improve a habit like procrastination. you will not improve completely in one night. and sometimes, you will procrastinate, and that’s okay! just keep improving yourself, you have time.

22. if you’re looking for a reason or a sign not to procrastinate right now, this is it. tumblr can be such a distraction. you probably have something important to do. and i’m here to tell you to get back to work and finish what you need to do.

You know the thing is I spent a lot of time wishing we would’ve been together. I always wished that you’d walk back into my life, with a ‘baby I’m back’ kind of smile, and just whisk me away. You didn’t though, and that’s okay. So here’s me wishing you the best. I hope your life is full of everything you want it to be. I hope you find that you don’t ever need me, and I’ll do the same for you.
—  m.n // “Closure”
Drown Me In Your Love (Grayson Smut)

Summary: Requested by anon: “Gorgeous human, could you write a storyline where Grayson (please with G) and his girlfriend have an argument, not an angry one but a teary filled one and Grayson approaches her as she’s crying and there’s heavy SMUT involved as they make up, it’s not aggressive but very passionate and intense? I just heard the song ‘Too Deep’ by Ritual and Delilah and its got me feeling all kind of things and just need to read something you write based on this song, maybe along the lines of my suggestion? xx”
Word Count: 4,008 (longest imagine I’ve written omg)
Warnings: Cunnilingus, daddy kink.
A/N: So, this is the work that I had gotten halfway through when tumblr crashed. I had to rewrite it so it didn’t come out as good as I expected it to. But I hope I did this justice and I hope you like it. Also, I’m still not very good at smut but I’m gonna practice and get better hopefully. Listen to Too Deep for the full effect!


“Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?” Your friend’s voice sounded through the phone and you stopped yourself from scowling.

How were you supposed to answer that after the large bomb she had dropped on you?

“Yeah.” You answered, voice coming out breathy and quiet. You knew that you weren’t gonna be okay, though, and judging by the small indignant noise that your friend let out on the other end of the receiver, she didn’t buy it either.

“Look, maybe it isn’t what it looks like,” Your friend brought you back from your dark thoughts. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

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