i just need them to do a solo tour once in my life

anonymous asked:

Am I the only one upset with YNWA comeback? It's been barely 4 months since WINGS came out, and they've been busy with concert preparations and now comeback preparations... Sigh, and this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if they were to part ways with Big Hit in future :-/

I’m sorry that this turned into an extremely long answer, but I felt the need to do this.

Hm, I don’t know, I can’t say I agree with you. I mean, I wouldn’t say that they aren’t overworked or anything, but how come no one has ever considered that maybe it’s the members who want this, and it isn’t the company that is forcing it unto them?

I’ve mentioned this before, but BTS was formed for their musicality in the first place, they have a different purpose in comparison to other idols. Most if not all the members focus a lot on the music part of their career, so I find that it’s only normal that they would want to constantly come out with new music, which explains all the active comebacks they have despite the short breaks between comebacks. Same goes for concerts/tours that they do; if you’re someone who wants to make music, you want to connect with people through music, naturally you’d want to be able to perform and showcase this music, no?

And regarding BigHit, I think people don’t give them enough credit, honestly. Yeah, they lack in certain areas, but which entertainment company out there can you call perfect? If anything, BigHit has done swell when it comes to the management of the boys.

Before I talk about the good in BigHit, I am aware about their problems as a company. They constantly come up with new content to sell to the fans for extra profit, and they never really give fans much time to prepare themselves for a new comeback/release of new content. When it comes to the members themselves, I’m sure they have their own complains towards the company. Take Suga, the one who has been the most vocal about his complaints, as an example. At the start of BTS’ career, he talked about how he was conned into learning how to dance and becoming an idol, when all along he thought and was promised that all he needed to do was write music and rap. He was expecting to become a group like 1TYM, not a group known for their knife-like choreography. Watch the evidence here, it starts at 19:00. But over the years, I think Yoongi doesn’t feel against it anymore, because BTS is recognized for their dance and has been rewarded a ton of awards for best dance. Then fast forward after countless of comebacks with multiple hair colours, Yoongi has seriously damaged scalp and over bleached hair. He said he was going to sue BigHit for hair loss, and even though most took it as a joke, he didn’t only talk about it once, he said it twice. If anything, Yoongi isn’t really someone to say things he doesn’t mean. He’s a straightforward type guy, and he probably really feels dissatisfied towards the company for constantly bleaching his hair. The first time he talked about it was here (5:19 mark), and the second time, here (2:22 mark). He also talked about how people who dye their hair constantly suffer at the Gaon Charts Yinyuetai interview earlier this year. The era where they were most overworked was probably during their RUN days, and Yoongi talked about this too. It’s in this video, at the 5:09 mark as well as the 10:59 mark onwards. They haven’t slept more than 3 hours, they have back to back schedules, etc.

Now, with all that aside, I am aware of the vices of BigHit, but back to my point - BigHit has done swell when it comes to the management of the boys. 

There are a few aspects when it comes to this. We can talk about the efforts BigHit makes in ensuring that they are able to keep their artistes satisfied. One classic example would be Yoongi. I just talked about how he’s complained throughout the RUN era about his hair and scalp, and what did BigHit do for the Blood, Sweat and Tears era?

The fact that BigHit gave Jin and V the opportunity to sing bangtan’s first ever OST instead of the other members would be another classic example. BigHit could’ve given the duet to Jungkook and Jimin easily, considering they are the main and lead vocals respectively, but they gave it to Seokjin and Taehyung instead. Okay, you can argue and say it’s natural that Taehyung got it since he’s the one acting in the show, but how about Jin? Watch this, from the 28:00 mark. You can tell Seokjin really wanted a chance to sing an OST, and BigHit indeed gave him one, which he’s so grateful for.

Back to Yoongi again (he seems to be surfacing a lot today), as well as Rap Monster this time, and in due time, J-Hope. The former two have always been extremely passionate in their music, and there’s a lot of areas they cannot explore as rappers/musicians when it comes to working as a team, because they have to ensure that the song fits 7 members, that the song is something worth putting on an album, etc. It limits them a lot, so what did BigHit do? BigHit opened a SoundCloud account for them where they can freely post up their own tracks and random raps and even song covers when it comes to vocal line, and they’ve never limited what bangtan do/post on the SoundCloud account. In fact, BigHit even fully funded Yoongi and Namjoon’s mixtapes despite not being able to make any profit from doing so. They provided a set, cameras, make up and stylists, everything necessary to produce an MV, just so that they are able to come up with their own mixtapes for them to showcase the stories that they were unable to tell through BTS.

Even when it comes to schedules, BigHit never makes the members do things they don’t want to. Remember in Yoongi’s track, ‘The Last’?

Show me the money, it’s not that I couldn’t but I didn’t shit

Also, realize that Yoongi is the only member that has never tried emceeing yet? Yoongi is the only member who has yet to have his own solo appearance in any one variety show/schedule, and if you ask me, I really think it’s because Yoongi never intended to live the idol life in the first place. He just wants to make music, not go on shows for more exposure or anything. But BigHit never once forced him to doing any, doesn’t that say a lot?

Enough with keeping their artistes satisfied, let’s move on to the care factor the company has. In any other company, their idols are all overworked to the point of fainting/working despite injuries or health issues, etc. But what has BigHit done every time any one member is injured? Here’s a compact list of the more prominent occurrences.

  • 28th Dec 2013 - Yoongi was diagnosed with appendicitis, BigHit withdrew him from year end schedules.
  • 27th Dec 2015 - BigHit cancelled 2 concerts in Japan for the sake of Yoongi and Taehyung.
  • 30th Dec 2015 - Namjoon was withdrawn from year end schedules because of his leg injury.
  • 24th July 2016 - BigHit chose to let Namjoon rest despite the hospital giving him the green light to resume schedules because there was nothing seriously wrong with his health.
  • 30th Sept 2016 - BigHit withdrew Namjoon from the 2016 K-Pop World Festival performance as well as the Busan One Asia Festival performance so that his leg will not result in injury. It was a preventive measure on their end.
  • 22nd Dec 2016 - BigHit withdrew Yoongi from all further activities so that he can rest, when it was a ear injury which technically isn’t a very big deal.

BigHit could’ve easily made the members continue to promote and perform, because in most cases, it wasn’t really anything serious, but yet, they chose to make them rest instead. Other companies wouldn’t have done that unless the member has a leg injury or is bed ridden.

BigHit has also been very protective of their artistes. It’s very important that a company addresses issues early in order to protect their artistes, and it’s even more important that the company is willing to come to the rescue of their artistes when the need arises. There’s this, and there’s this too. There was also this too.

Another thing would be how BigHit doesn’t limit the boys in any way at all. Even as trainees, the boys were given handphones and allowed to communicate with the outside world through logs and Twitter, unlike every other idol trainee out there who practically lives in a dungeon. There was never dating bans in their contracts (evidence here) and they were never told to behave a certain way nor were they put under extremely strict diets. When they dieted, it was mostly out of their own will rather than their company wanting them to be slim or whatever.

In lyrics, they were never told to not talk about a certain topic, and in fact, they are now known for always attacking real world topics and issues. They aren’t the first group to do so, but it still definitely sets them apart from boring old romance lyrics in present day kpop.

And the most important thing of all…

And then there was Jin who talked about missing the managers,

I mean, if you don’t enjoy the time you spend with the company I don’t think you’d talk about missing them. You can tell they are grateful to these people who care for them no matter what. Remember how they all hugged their managers (not one, all) when they won the daesang?

Look at the managers looking so happy for them. The one in green striped shirt was hugging Jungkook and there’s Namjoon hugging the other manager on the right.

I don’t know about you, and although I wouldn’t say that they have a family bond with the staff, but you can tell they all really love each other and there’s definitely some form of a bond between them. Not just with the managers, but even with the producers who have worked hard behind the scenes for the boys. Look at this video, Mr Son and the staff who were with him were literally so elated for BTS’ first win. And then there was this, where Slow Rabbit (Big Hit producer) cried when bangtan got Artist of the Year at MAMA. Then there’s Pdogg (Big Hit producer, aka the man behind BTS’ title tracks) who was constantly supportive of the boys in his tweets here and here.

I can understand the heart of those ARMYs who are constantly upset with BigHit because they are worried about the members’ health in general, but sometimes we have to look at things from different perspectives. In my opinion, bangtan is happy under their management, and when they have complaints, Bang PD is willing to talk it out with them. I mean, he’s clearly close to the boys, to the point where he’s alright with joking around with them all the time. If he wasn’t we wouldn’t be blessed with things like this:

Even when renewal of contracts becomes an issue, I feel like he’d try to meet the needs of the members and he’d want to continue housing all 7 of them. BTS is the first group he’s ever produced. GLAM and 8Eight were collaborations with Source Music, HOMME, 2AM, and everyone else were transferred under him, so BTS would mean more to him than anything else. He single-handedly made them, so I don’t know. I don’t feel you on this.


A little something sweet for all of us while we wait for the big reveal. xo

When you woke up, the other side of the bed was empty.

Your eyes peeled open in a groggy fashion, and you lifted a fist to rub at your eye as you sat up in bed and looked over at the space where your boyfriend usually is. The two of you had fallen asleep comfortably, whispering sweet nothings to each other as your arms wrapped themselves around his broad frame and your nose nuzzled against the back of his neck. You had been absolutely exhausted since the day before, which is probably why you didn’t wake up when he stirred.

Once you woke up enough to think coherently, you immediately knew where he was.

You slipped on your bedrobe and pattered out into the living room, your hair in a messy bun and eyes still puffy from sleep. You were still a bit tired, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep without your boyfriend and you wanted to make sure that he was okay.

Tomorrow was going to be a big day.

Keep reading

Support (Harry Styles Imagine)

Warning: swearing 

I’ve finally done my dream imagine! I’ve been wanting to write a dramatic imagine for a while now. Thank you to those who voted for this and for those who even personally messaged me. I really do appreciate the help.

It took me quite a lot of time to finish this because I had a lot of scenarios in mind. Sorry for the delay. Hope I didn’t disappoint.

Anyways… Hope you guys like it! 

Feedbacks are very well appreciated.



They say that after the honeymoon phase comes the biggest bump in one’s relationship.

For four years now, I’ve been Harry Styles’s girlfriend. I met him when I started working for Lou as her assistant stylist for the Where We Are Tour. At first, I was adamant to do it. But with a little push from Lou, I finally agreed. I’m glad that I agreed. Each passing day on the road, Harry and I grew closer until he finally asked me to be his. And I said yes.

Throughout the course of the On The Road Again Tour, I was asked yet again to join the crew. But this time, no decision was needed to be thought out. I was going to be with the love of my life 24/7 and that was enough reason to agree once more.

 I was with them when they had to perform for the first time without Zayn in Manila. Nerves were wrecking around backstage about who’ll sing Zayn’s part in which song and what’ll happen to their positions onstage with one member missing. I was even there when Zayn officially said goodbye.

I was with Harry when they announced to the public of their decision regarding the hiatus. It was hard for the lads to end up with that decision, but they all knew that it was for the greater good of the band. They knew that if they went on with a heavy heart that they might end up resenting what they do or worse, each other.

 I was there during their last show in Sheffield. Hugs were given as soon as the show ended. Tears were pouring everywhere. I have never seen Harry cry so hard before. Even I shed a tear or two. Of course, I’ve been with these people for two years now. I’ll miss seeing them everyday. But whatever happens, we all promised to support one another in any way or form.


Now, it’s been a few months since the hiatus started. Harry and I decided to go home to Holmes Chapel to unwind for a few weeks. Anne was kind enough to have accommodated both of us. Gemma even stopped by everyday to chat with us. It seemed like I was in a normal relationship and not in a relationship with a superstar.

A few weeks after that, Harry was casted for Christopher Nolan’s new movie Dunkirk. To say that I was proud of him was an understatement. In the midst of shooting the movie, Harry asked me to join him because he was feeling lonely. With a smile on my face, I gladly joined him. Plus, Cillian Murphy was another reason to drop by. (wink wink)

After the movie, Harry decided to start writing for his first solo album. I was so happy that he’d be back in the comfort of his beloved studio where I knew he was genuinely happy. He decided to take a small trip to Jamaica, which was such a breather. It was away from all the flashing light and spying eyes. Harry’d spend his time in the studio with Jeff and Mitch. While I, on the other hand, started drawing my dream fashion line.

Every since I was a kid, I have loved dressing up. And finishing my degree in fashion designing really was a dream come true. Dressing people up like how I did with the lads on tour was not the job that i was expecting but it was a great experience. I’m much more interested in designing my own fashion line and flaunt my designs on the runway.


One normal day back home, I got a phone call from the biggest fashion company in London. They heard from Lou that I was a fashion major and wanted me to send drafts of my designs for their upcoming fall collection. I was beyond ecstatic.

This is it.

 My dreams are becoming a reality. I immediately called Lou and thank her over and over again. I then excitedly told Harry and he was so proud of me. That night, me, my family, friends and Harry went out and celebrated but I noticed that Harry wasn’t into it. My best friend even asked if he was ill. It was like he wasn’t even there. I just took it as stress and agreed to go home earlier than expected.

The day of his album launch came. It was a whirlwind of emotions. I was so proud of how people responded to Sign of the Times, but the response to the album was much better. Knowing how hard Harry worked for it and how much people appreciated it made me so happy for him.

And to add to that happiness, pieces from the collection that I sent was chosen for the London Fashion Week Fashion Show a few months from now. I had already told Harry the night before about it but he just nodded and told me he was proud.

Maybe he’s just tired? Or maybe he’s just nervous for the launch the next day? I thought. 

His entire team went out to celebrate that night. Of course, I was there during dinner with his family. I told Gemma about the the fashion show and she promised to be there to support me. Anne even let out a sound of excitement and kept on hugging me, making me feel how happy she was for me.

The dinner ended quickly, so they decided to have a few drinks. Me, on the other hand, had a very important meeting with the company so I had to be presentable and hang-over free.

 “Love, let’s go?” Harry asked.

 “Babe, I have that meeting tomorrow remember?” I asked, with a ‘duh’ tone.

 “What meeting?” He asked. I was shocked. His facial expression really showed no signs of him knowing what was going on.

 “The meeting for the fashion show?” I asked, hoping that something will spark up.

 “You got the job?” He asked.

 “Harry, I told you that last night.” I said, a small frown now starting to form on my face.

 “Ohh yeah. That.” He said. I was kind of disappointed that he forgot but I just shook it off.

 “Anyways, it’ll probably be best if I head home first. Go enjoy the night.” I said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

 “You sure?”

 “Of course.”

 And with that, I left him and went home.


The meeting the next day went very well. I met with the tailors who’ll make my designs a reality alongside me and explained to them how I wanted it to turn out. They were nice enough to have understood my worries and assured me of my creative works. The models were also chosen and among those are some of the most well known models. The feeling of Cara Delevingne wearing my work was unbelievable.

I went home that afternoon with a tired body, yet a big smile on my face. Harry was in our bedroom getting ready to go out and celebrate with his friends. I quickly gave him a kiss on the cheek and a quick ‘hey babe’.

“Love, go get ready. We’ll meet them at five.” He said, buttoning his shirt.

“Babe, is it ok if I pass tonight? I’m so tired and I just want to lie down and relax.” I said, slumping my body in the bed. His face showed how much he wanted to go. “Go on without me. Enjoy babe.”

“Don’t you want to celebrate the success of my album, love?” He said with pleading eyes. Of course I want to but having sewed a few pieces myself, I was exhausted.

“It’s not that babe. It’s just that… I’m so tired.” 

“Oh. Ok.”

What’s with his attitude? I don’t know why his tone suddenly sounded like he’s implying that I didn’t want to go just because I don’t want to go.

“What’s with you?” I suddenly asked. I don’t know what ticked inside me, but I had a feeling that me asking that question will lead to a fight.

“Nothing. It’s just that I feel that you’re not happy for me.” He said while fixing his not-so-long-anymore hair.

“What are you saying? Just because I don’t want to go out tonight doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you.” My voice started rising.

“Then make me feel it! All you care about is your stupid designs.”

Oh hell no. 

“Excuse me?”

He’s gotta be kidding right now.

“I said it! All you care about is your stupid runway fashion show. You never support me in any of my works. It’s like I don’t even have a girlfriend who supports me. All we talk about is how excited you are for the show and how happy you are that YOUR dreams are coming true. What about me, huh? Ever thought about me? My album? My dreams?”

 “Oh for fuck’s sake Harry. Don’t you ever say that I didn’t support you. I spent two years on the road with you… two years which should’ve been spent on designing my OWN fashion show. I’ve been beside you through all of the rumors, the hiatus, and now your solo career. So don’t you dare point a finger at me and say that I don’t care about your dreams because I do.” I said. My blood’s now boiling that I don’t think it’ll be enough cooling off just for tonight.

 “Then make me feeling like you care and join us tonight.” He shouted.

 “Why are you so fucking selfish? Can’t you see that I’ve been working my ass off for MY dream? All I ever thought about for the past few years was you and your damn career. Can’t you think about mine? All I’m asking is a night in tonight. Heck, I’m not even asking you to stay with me!” Harry was about to say something but I cut him off.

 “You know what Harry? I realized now… All I ever did in this relationship is give, give, and give. And I’m getting tired.”

 Flashbacks of how Harry reacted with me getting the job came to mind… he didn’t even care. Heck, he even forgot that I told him about me getting it. I’ve talked about this with a friend of mine and what she told me really hit me.

 “It sounds to me like there’s only one person in this relationship.”

“Love, I’m not saying that your dream is not that important. It’s just that -” he said, but I cut him off.

“You feel that your accomplishments are far more important and extravagant than mine.” I said in total realization. No words were needed, his facial expressions were enough to assure my assumption.

“I can’t believe you!” I shouted. “A relationship between two people is about trust and support, and you can’t even support your girlfriend of four years? Your girlfriend who was beside you, supporting you since who knows when!” I started crying.

 “Love, it’s not like that…”

 “Then what is it like Harry? WHAT?” My head started to ache and my breathing started to quicken its pace.


 “You know what? You’re not the Harry that I fell in love with anymore. You’re just a big-headed pop star who only cares about his fame.”

 “You’re not the girlfriend that I used to know as well. My girlfriend supports me in everything that I do.”

 “And my boyfriend also does the same.”

 “I’m still that person!” He said in exhaustion.

 “No you’re not.” I said with tears now streaming down my face.

 “Then what are you implying?” For a split second, I saw the man that I fell in love with - the man who’d swim the oceans just to make me smile.

 “I’m sorry but if you’ll continue, it’d be best if I left.”

 “Love, no… Don’t do this.” Desperation was very well heard from that one sentence.

 “I’m sorry.”

 I grabbed my bag and with that, I left the man who still had my heart.

They said that there’s always a rainbow after the rain. But with this kind of relationship, seeing a ray of light might be impossible.

Sweet Creature; H.S.

“No, Harry! Just – fucking plain no. In what alternate universe would you think I’d be happy with you making decisions for me?” Y/n yells at me, throwing her hands up for emphasis as she storms away from me. I know I should go after her, tell her that I didn’t mean to do so, but I’m sure she knows. I’d never do anything to make her unhappy.

I’m sure she’ll realise that in a minute as well. Y/n could have quite the temperament but she’d never go to bed angry. Usually, five minutes after we fought, we’d apologize to one another. We were both stubborn, but clever enough to know what’s important in life. Y/n and I had met a couple years prior, but in the beginning I don’t think neither of us thought of going on a date, getting in a relationship and even later – moving in together.

I don’t know how it happened, or when, but somehow along the line I realised how quickly and hopelessly I had fallen for her. Thank god she experienced the same.

I let my large body fall onto the sofa, a loud huff escaping my parted lips. I let my fingers curl around the scrap book Y/n had been making yesterday evening, filled with pictures of us and things she found important to her. I had always found it an honour I were included in that.

I laugh to myself when I see baby pictures of her. One in the tub, her dog sneakily drinking the bath water behind her. Or one where she was dancing with a loaf of bread. Just from seeing her carefree face on the photo, I could imagine her hearty laugh echoing through the house.

“H, I’m sorry. I overreacted.” I hear Y/n’s voice behind me and I raise my hand, waving her over. “We’re both in the wrong, sweetheart. I promise I’ll never make big decisions without you. You know I just wanted to surprise you.” I lift my head, smiling at my girlfriend as she walks around the sofa. She slides herself onto the armrest, her upper body leaning against the back.

“Remember our first date?” I speak, patting her bare leg as I turn to the next page. There are photo’s covering the paper of twinkling lights, lots of greenery, with me somewhere in the background. I took her to Morden Hall Park, one of my favourite get-aways. We were slowly strolling, enjoying the scenery around us, when suddenly she took my hand and pulled, pulling me into a slow jog that turned into a full run. Somehow we ended up face first on the grass, laughing our asses off. It was the best time I had in months.

“Yeah. You tried to give me a compliment. Do you remember what you said to me?” Y/n chuckles as she slides from the arm rest onto the sofa next to me, her warm body pressed against mine as her fingers brush over the photograph.

“Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever forget such a mishap. Sweet creature.” I laugh somewhat awkwardly, biting the bottom of my lip as I let my gaze wander over our newly bought furniture, trying to avoid her. “Anything would’ve sufficed. Girl, woman, lass; whatever implied I was female.” Y/n laughs is so hearty that I can’t help but chuckle along.

“Yeah yeah, I know. You’re going to pester me with it until I’m in my grave, yeah?” I laugh, pulling her onto my lap and pressing my lips against her neck. She is ticklish and bounces up and down on my lap to get away from my prying fingers and tickling lips. “We’re still young, you shouldn’t talk about that. But, probably.” Y/n answers me when she has calmed her breathing and snakes her arms around my neck.

“I’d take it as a compliment. Means I’m willing to spend my whole life with you, you know?” I grin, pressing my lips briefly to hers. She loses herself in the kiss for a moment, but pushes herself off to grant me a raised-eyebrow-grin. “You have the weirdest ways of complimenting a girl, Styles. But I’ll take it. Just because you’re cute.”

“That’s why you’re with me? Because of my looks.” I gasp, holding my hand against my chest as Y/n fiddles in my lap. “Well – I – I thought you knew. Sorry.” She shrugs her shoulders so nonchalantly she has problems keeping a straight face. My hands attack her sides again and I throw her onto the sofa, hovering above her.

When her laughter has subsided and I find that I have tortured her enough, I stop my assault and merely hover over her. Her mood changes before my eyes and I hold my breath as she speaks.
“When is your solo tour starting?”

I took a big gulp of air, letting a sigh flow past my lips before I press them softly to her chin. “Next month.” A frown takes over her features and I know she has enjoyed the last year of having me almost all to herself, but this was planned almost as soon as the band parted their ways.

“You could come visit me? As much as you like. I’d like to have you with me.” I mumble, kissing her whole face, taking my time to show her how much I appreciate everything she has done for me and is about to do. “I like that, but I hate coming home every time when you’re not here.” She frowns even deeper, moaning softly when I press my lips against her weak spot.

“Then come with me. For the whole tour. You won’t have to miss me, and I don’t have to miss you.” I grin brightly, lifting myself up on my hands to assess her facial changes. For a split second, I see the twinkle in her eyes and her vibrant smile is on full show. Until her logic jumps in.

“What about our home?” Her fingers trail along my shoulder, to my biceps and down to my hand. She lifts it, making me imbalanced, and presses her lips against the back of my hand. I know I have to convince her. I couldn’t bare even a day without her with me.

“When you’re with me, I am home.” I press my lips to her once more, putting more pressure behind it as I try to show her all the love and need I feel every morning when I wake up to her beautiful smile.

Take Care

Summary: When the kitchen is the best place to confess your feelings.


Pairing: Kwon Jiyong x Reader
Genre/warnings: lots of fluff
Words: 2.5K
Notes:  Just a little scenario because we all need some positivity now and then. Special thanks to @noonachronicles for being my muse (like always). 

Opening the door to his bedroom, Jiyong fell face first into the mattress. As soon as he had left the YG building his body was hit with exhaustion that felt like it had been piling up for weeks. Even though getting home was tough – he thought he was going to crash his car at one point - he made it there safely. He had you to thank really. Had it not been for your concerned call asking him when he would return home, he would still have been in the studio neglecting his needs.

Life as an artist was tough; comebacks, promotions, albums, photoshoots, scandals,… You honestly did not know how he handled everything. It had been easier for a while, Bigbang was doing great and Jiyong was able to relax more than before. Now that he was working on a new solo album and concerts, his life became hectic once again. While you did your best to care for his well-being, you didn’t have the power to force Jiyong to rest. Every day he would promise you to leave work early, only to arrive in the middle of the night and leaving before the sun was up again.

He is as perfectionistic as he is stubborn and you cursed him every day for that. His music and his fans are his number one priority and you were always okay with that. As long as he didn’t neglect himself. While you had tried to get him out of that studio by force, it had never worked. Having no options left, you decided on a new approach; pleading. Not being the type to wear your heart on your sleeve, calling him that day was quite unusual for you. You figured it must have had some effect on him as you saw his jacket by the door after walking inside his home. Figuring he was probably asleep, you carefully treaded your way into your kitchen. Now that he was home so early, you wanted to take care of him this evening.  

While dinner was simmering on the stove and you had run him a bath, you made your way around his apartment. Looking at the pictures on his wall, you reminisce on all the memories you made with him. What started as a drunk conversation in a club five years ago had somehow turned into this. Your relationship with Jiyong was hard to understand and most of his friends were confused about your status. While you acted like best friends most of the time - bickering like siblings but always having each other’s back – there was something there nobody could explain. When one of you was upset, the other one was the only person that could cheer you up. You understood each other on a level no one else could and you cared for each other more than you had cared for anyone else before. You had always been aware of this connection but past failed relationships made you reluctant to act on your feelings and risk losing the precious friendship you had. Deciding that remaining friends was the best option for you, you continued acting the way you had before content with your relationship as it was.

Until everything changed one night.

Jiyong’s drunken confession and his lips landing on yours led you to waking up in his bed the next day, stark naked. Initially wanting to deem it as a drunken mistake, you couldn’t keep saying that when it continued to happen. Having finally had a taste of each other you found it impossible to stay away. While in the beginning it was only about sex, the more you woke up in his arms, the more you wanted to stay in them. During this time your feelings for him had somehow grown stronger. Feelings you thought you had long buried inside, not wanting to risk losing him. Waking up next to him and seeing his sleep filled face made you fall harder every time. While it was apparent you couldn’t get enough of each other - chasing your release wherever you could - you were cautious to stay as detached as possible. Being completely positive Jiyong didn’t feel the same way, you did not want him to feel bad for your unanswered feelings.

Flash forward to a few months later, your love for him was undeniable.

The more you hook up, the harder it becomes to keep you feelings hidden. It’s been a while since it was no longer about the sex to you - even though you enjoy that part just as much - the need to take care of him and love him becomes more important. That is why you’re in his home now, cooking him dinner and being concerned for his health.

Shaking your head to clear it from the thoughts about Jiyong, you turn around wanting to head back to the kitchen. When your eyes lock on Jiyong standing behind you, you freeze. How long had he been looking at you?

“Hi… How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough to see you getting lost in thought again. What were you thinking about?”

Questions like this often made you think Jiyong secretly knew about your feelings for him. Being careful not to give anything away if he didn’t, you let your gaze fall on one of the pictures.

“I was thinking of the day this picture was taken, you remember it?”

Your question seems to have successfully avoided the topic, taking his mind off of his original question. He moves from his position against the wall, coming up behind you. His chest connects with your back the same time his hand lands on your hip, making your body unintentionally tense up. The hitch in your breath a clear indication how affected you are by even the lightest of his touches.

“Of course I do. I invited you to New York to accompany me on the tour. After the show I took you around Times Square and we ate the best Korean BBQ outside Seoul. That place is where we took the picture.”

Thinking he would have already forgotten about it, his comment takes you off guard. You look at him over your shoulder, meeting his eyes that had already been staring at you, gauging your reaction. Your lips only inches apart, you feel the urge to connect them rise inside of you. Before you can act on this urge, you decide to speak up.

“Talking about Korean BBQ, I’ve made some in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”

Now it’s his turn to be surprised by your words. The thought of you having cooked dinner for him fills his heart with an unfamiliar warmth. Looking in your eyes he knows this feeling isn’t really unfamiliar to him, having been feeling this around you for a while now. Not wanting to admit this thought to himself yet, he averts his eyes.

“Really? Thank you Y/N, I’m starving.”

His sudden excitement to get to the kitchen makes you smile, knowing him this is probably his first actual meal of the day. Calmly following behind him you think back to the moment you just had. Not wanting to go too much into it and get your hopes up, you shake off your thoughts and enter the kitchen.

Jiyong is conflicted.

He thought he had always been so sure about his feelings for you – or lack thereof – until now. The way you so casually announced you had also prepared him bath after serving him the most delicious meal he’s had in a while, clouds his mind with different scenarios. The most prominent one is him coming home from work, seeing you in his kitchen trying to cook dinner while your toddler is resting on your hip. He greets you both with a kiss on the cheek, the smell off the home cooked meal invading his senses when he looks at the child. His eyes resembling his in the most uncanny of ways while his lips seem to be a direct copy of yours.

He had always been sure he wanted children, he had just never thought he wanted them with you. The fact that he finds himself liking the idea somehow terrifies him to the core. He had always been sure he loved you, he just never realised how much. These thoughts just confirm something he unconsciously had been feeling, yet was too blind to notice.

Being so lost in thought, he doesn’t realise you have stopped walking around and were now looking at him instead.

“Earth to Jiyong. What are you thinking about?”

Your voice brings him back from his daze, making him look up at you leaning against the counter. The words that escape his mouth have no time to be reconsidered in his mind.

“Do you want to have children someday?”

Looking at him weirdly, you wonder what he must have been thinking about that got him to ask you this question. Knowing that this is porbably just the way Jiyong’s brain works, you answer him.

“Well of course. You know I always dreamed of having a family and seeing as I’m not getting any younger, I do want children one day.”

“Would you want to have them with me one day?”


Silence is the only thing surrounding you after that question left his mouth. Being too taken aback to answer, you think you understood his question wrong. Knowing Jiyong, it was probably meant as a joke. However, looking into his eyes you are shocked to see absolutely no hesitation in them. Understanding the hidden implication behind the question you gather all your courage to answer him.

Jiyong officially wants to die.

How could he so carelessly throw such an important question at you? Not only was it completely random, it was laden with emotions he had never realised he felt nor had the courage to tell you about. Seeing the look of shock on your face makes him want to run away. How could he have been so stupid as to think you would actually answer him as if you felt the same way?

“That depends. How many do you want to have?”

If Jiyong thought he was shocked before, your answer managed to completely shake him to the core. Are you being serious? The look on your face surely makes it seem like you are. Seeing no way out of this situation, he figures it’s best to be honest.

“Uh… I’ve always wanted two.”

“Good, then we’re on the same page.”

You have no idea where this sudden confidence came from but seeing that smile grow on his face makes you feel like you are dreaming. How can this man, who you’ve loved for so long possibly confess to wanting children with you and you answer him like it’s the most natural thing in the world. What is wrong with you?! You are waiting on the reveal that this was all a prank; Jiyong wanting to see your reaction and then telling you it was meant as a joke. Your past confidence rapidly dropping because of your negative thoughts, you turn away from him.

Noticing the sudden change in behaviour, Jiyong is sure he must have been the cause of it. Deciding to try and salvage whatever was left, he walks over to you. Grabbing you by the waist and turning you around, he pulls you against his chest. He gently places his hand on your chin, turning your gaze towards him.

“Look at me Y/N.” The slight command accompanied by the hand on your cheek are hard to disobey, making you begrudgingly lift your gaze. “What’s wrong? Did I step out of line? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my question… I didn’t think before speaking.”

“No it’s not that…it’s… were you serious? Or was this all just said to prank me?”

“Well… Are you?”

Slapping him on the chest because of his retaliation, you role your eyes at him.

“I’m serious Jiyong, don’t play me like that. It’s not funny.”

“I know, I know. I… I was being serious Y/N. Seeing you standing here in my kitchen, talking about everything you’ve done for me and looking like you belong here got me thinking. It got me thinking of a future where I come home from work and greet you and our baby standing in this very kitchen. A future where we can take baths together every night after we’ve put our baby in it first. When those thoughts crossed my mind I was so shocked. I was shocked that I liked them as much as I did. Then I realised that the reason I liked them so much is because they were with you. These thoughts confirmed that deep down I am in love with you. I love you so much and I think I have for a long time now and I never realised until you standing in my kitchen woke me up.”

“Ji… I don’t know what to say….” His admission of love being too much for you to handle, your brain no longer functioning to answer him.

Shaking his head at your silent rejection, he looks down. “ You don’t have to say anything Y/N. I’m sorry I just threw this at you, I never realised until now that I did and I couldn’t keep it to myself. Please just forget about it, we can act like it never happened.”

Panic taking over your body at his emotional and physical withdrawal, you grab his arm to stop him.

“I don’t want to act like it never happened Ji. I didn’t answer because I was so shocked. How could the guy I’ve been desperately in love with for months suddenly confess the same? I… I’ve never good with words but I just want you to understand that I love you too. Maybe even more than you love me.”

Looking into your eyes, the honesty that greets him fills his body with warmth once again. Rather than expressing his feelings with words and possibly failing to properly express him, showing you seems like the best option. Cupping your face with both hands, he crashes his lips on yours.

You know that moment described in all the sappy love stories about fireworks going off inside your body when you kiss the one you love? Best believe they are happening now. His kiss leaves you breathless yet you’d happily choke if you could keep kissing him like this. Grabbing his shirt in an attempt to bring him even closer, you feel his hands land on your hips. His hands roaming your body in the most sinful yet delicious way fills your kiss with a new emotion; lust. Having been in this situation many times before, he picks up on your change of mood before you can say anything.

Wordlessly he turns you around and gently guides you into his bedroom. Let’s just say that by the time you entered the bathroom to clean up, the water in the tub had long turned cold.

A/N: It took me a long time to write this and I have probably changed this whole scenario about five times. I’m finally somewhat glad with the result so I hope you are too! I’m very sorry about the cliches, Michelle deserved them. Thank you for reading! 💋

Don't worry.

Heyy, I finally had time to write again. I know I have a lot of requests to do but I feel like I have to get my ideas out there right now, I’m sorry. I hope you like this though. Thank you for reading.xxx

She was proud of him.
She really was.
Of course she was, how could she not?
Harry was doing everything he always dreamed of doing and what he did was the most amazing thing ever. He filmed a movie, recorded an entire album and now his face is printed on countless magazines.
She knew he would do good but she could have never prepared for what was happening now. He was jetting between America and London, with a short stop in Paris. He was busy having meetings to figure out his next plans, especially the tour that would take him all over the world. And then there were the interviews…
Those were probably the worst for Y/N right now but not because he had to leave early in the morning to attend them on time, no. It were the questions he’s been asked.
She knew the questions would be different now because he was solo now and doing everything on his own without three boys by his side that caught the attention of the interviewer as well. But she never thought that the main topic of every interview would be his love life.
He talked about his first girlfriend ever, then Taylor Swift, then Kendall Jenner and then he wrote a song about a girl he met one goddamn time and apparently her name was Townes.
She was okay with all that before, she knew he’s been with other women before her but somehow she couldn’t help but be upset.
Harry and her were dating for a year now. A year which she thought was a happy, joyful and fun year in which they learned to love and cherish each other.
But apparently she didn’t matter to him all that much.
He didn’t talk about her even once. Not when the question came up how he’s doing privately. Not when he’s been asked who supported him while working so hard. Not when he’s been asked what the inspiration for his songs was.
And that was probably the worst. He wrote nothing about her, not a single line. There was a song about how empty and heartbroken he felt when Taylor and him broke up, there was a song about how good that stranger felt and there was a song about whoever was his only angel, it wasn’t Y/N for sure.
And even though she knew it was silly to be upset about something like that she couldn’t help it. The words he once said to her when she asked how he wrote songs kept replaying in her head.

“S'different every time. But I always write about people I love or times which been very important to me.

And every time she remembered his words she felt a pang to her heart.
He told her he loved her so many times and she knew he did, she was 100 % sure he did. And she also wasn’t worried about him cheating or whatever, she knew she was the only one for Harry. She was just maybe a tad bit jealous and sad. It was his decision what he wanted to weite about, of course, and he wasn’t obligated to write about her just because she’s his girlfriend but… it would have been nice.

Harry just got home and even though she missed him and just wanted to jump into his arms when she saw him looking all soft in that plain white shirt that was see through from the hundred times it’s been washed, she resisted. She got the last little push she needed earlier when she read comments online and everyone was talking about who and what the lyrics to his songs were about. No one believed it was about her.
“Hello, angel.” he greeted her and kissed first her forehead and then her cheek softly.
She responded with a humorless laugh and turned her face away from him to look at the ground. Angel. Ironic.
“You okay?” Harry asked her and lifted her chin to make her look at him.
“Great. Absolutely perfect.” she smiled so fake at him that anyone from afar could have seen that she was not in a good mood.
“Love, what’s going on? I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me.” he sighed impatiently.
“You can’t fix it anyway, it’s too late now.” she spat.
Harry took a step back from her when the coldness of her voice hit him. His eyes widened with shock and his mouth opened slightly.
“Did I do something?”
“Oh, no.” she waved him off.
“Then wha-”
“And that’s exactly the problem.” she interrupted him.
“What?” he asked confused.
His eyes had a bewildered look to them, flicking over her face and never knowing where to look.
“Did I forget something? It’s not your birthday and it’s also not our anniversary.”
“You forgot me.”
“What? Love, I have no idea what’s going on right now.” he almost cried out.
“Am I important to you?” she asked.
“Of course you are. You’re the most important person on this whole earth to me, baby.”
“Then why don’t you acknowledge me?”
“What? I do acknowledge you.”
“Yeah? When?”
“All the time.”
“No you don’t. When did you acknowledge me during your interview with the Rolling Stone Magazine? Most certainly not when you told them that you remember what your first girlfriend smelled like and how much you loved her. And also not when you told them how the main inspiration behind your album was Kendall Jenner. Oh, and your songs? I don’t think I broke your heart and your just a ghost now and I also don’t think my name is Townes!”
Harry’s eyes widened with shock by every word she spoke.
“Y-You’re jealous?” he asked, his voice shaky and filled with panic.
“I’m not jealous! I’m hurt!”
Harry squeezed his eyes shut when realization hit him. He didn’t realize what he had done before. He wasn’t forgetting her in any of this, he thought about her every second of every day and it was never his intention to hurt her.
“I never meant to hurt you.” he whispered and tried to reach out to grab her hand but she ripped it away from him immediately.
“Well, you did. You made me question everything, Harry. I even wondered if you feel the same way about me that I do about you.”
“Of course I do! You know that I love you. I love you more than you could ever imagine.”
“Doesn’t feel like it right now, if I’m being honest.” The pain that her words caused almost made him cry. He never ever wanted to make her doubt the love he had for her.
The truth was he didn’t know why he did it. He made it his mission from day one to keep her away from the media as much as he could. He wanted her to feel safe and comfortable around him and not worry about the options of others or what’s being said about her. He assumed he did a very good job until now and he never thought it would get to be an issue.
He wanted to keep their relationship private. Obviously, everyone knew they were together but he wanted to keep the rest away from the public eye. What they had was between the two of them and no one else.
“Love, you know how I am when it comes to you. I want to protect you from all the stuff that could happen. Don’t want anyone to talk badly about you.”
“You know what’s probably being said about me right now? That you don’t care about me, that I don’t matter.”
“But you do! I care about you so much, that’s why I try to keep you away from all that shit!”
“I get that you want to protect me but do you know how much it hurts to hear you talking about all your ex-girlfriends and how much they mean to you while you don’t talk about your current girlfriend of one year even once?”
“Love.” he sighed and grabbed her hand with a tight grip so she wouldn’t be able to remove it.
“They don’t mean anything to me anymore. Not since the second I laid my eyes on you. I’ll admit that I wrote songs about them because somehow that gives me the closure I need. And yes I’ve talked about them in interviews because I couldn’t escape, if I hadn’t said anything it would have been worse.”
Her shoulders slumped then, her eyes diverting to the floor. He was right. Of course he was. She knew from the beginning on that it was silly to be upset about all that but she couldn’t help it. She always had trouble when his past relationships were brought up. All the girls he dated were gorgeous and amazing and she couldn’t help but get insecure when she compared herself to them.
“I’m sorry.” she whispered so lowly he almost didn’t catch it.
He squeezed her hand to make her look at him and when she did he cupped her cheek gently.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, alright? I should be the one apologizing, I made you doubt our relationship.”
She shook her head before she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, burring her face in his neck. His arms went around her shoulders, clasping her sides with his hands.
“I love you, darling. Never want you to forget that.”
“I never forgot that. Just wondered for a little.”
“Don’t want you to wonder either. My love for you should be a constant in your life.”
She pulled back a little so she could look up at him.
“And it is. I was just being stupid.”
“Feeling hurt is never stupid. I was being a proper dick for not acknowledging you.”
“You weren’t. I know why you didn’t and I appreciate it.”
“Should have told them how perfect my girl is though.”
She smiled up at him and Harry swore he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight. He leaned down to press a soft kiss against her forehead, lingering his lips there for a moment.
“You know what?”
“Hmm?” she hummed.
“Should show you how much I love you so you don’t question it ever again.” he grinned cheekily.
She giggled softly and shook her head at how fast he could go from serious to cheeky.
“Horny, hm?”
“No, just want to love on you.”
He stroked a strand of hair that’s fallen into her face behind her ear, cupping her cheek and capturing her lips in a deep kiss.
He lifted one of her legs and made her wrap it around his hips. She wrapped her other leg around his body on her own, Harry supporting her with his hands on the backs of her thighs.
He carried her to their bedroom, stopping every once in a while to press her against a wall and kiss her breath away.
Once they reached their bed, he laid her down gently, hovering over her.

When she was naked he made it his mission to kiss every inch of her body, mumbling ‘I love you’ every so often.
Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t get emotional. Sex was always connected with emotion between Harry and her and it definitely wasn’t the first time her eyes welled up with tears and a few dribbled down the sides of her face and onto the pillow. Just like every time Harry got a bit worried, asking if he did something wrong but she silenced his words with her lips against his.
The moment Harry connected them Y/N was sure she never felt so close to him. She missed exactly this and was worried about exactly this, loosing the closeness between them. Or loosing him to somebody else.
Their bodies moved against each other the way they always had, nothing changed. And Y/N knew he never shared such a moment with any of his exes, he never shared himself like that with anyone but her.
When they both got close Y/N cupped Harry’s cheeks in her hands so she would be able to watch him come undone. And when he did it was exactly what she expected, he thrusted inside of her as deeply as possible and stilled, his mouth opening and his eyes rolling back. Her own orgasm hit her when she felt the first spurt of his release coating her walls, her whole body shuddering underneath him and a strangled moan forcing itself out out of her mouth. She fought against her eyes wanting to close, the need to watch him bigger.
Harry collapsed onto her when he finished completely, careful not to hurt her. She wrapped her arms around his back and made sure he didn’t move, she didn’t want to break the connection yet. She pressed countless kisses against his shoulder and neck, covering every bit of his skin with her lips.
“Mmh, love. As much as I love lying on top of you, I don’t want you to be sore tomorrow.” he said, his voice muffled by her shoulder.
She sighed and let go of him, he was right. It happened before that she got sore because he stayed inside of her too long. When he slipped out she felt his release pour out of her and as always Harry watched amazed. He reached over to the bedside table for a tissue to clean her up, careful not to apply to much pressure onto her sensitive center.
Afterwards he laid down beside her, pulling her body close immediately. She placed her head on his chest, her face nuzzling into his skin to inhale his scent. Harry intertwined his fingers with hers, kissing her knuckles softly before dropping their joined hands onto his chest.
They laid in silence for a few minutes, no awkwardness or uncomfortable feelings settling in their stomachs. But Y/N could feel that his mind was elsewhere.
“Stop thinking so loud.” she snapped him out of his thoughts.
“Sorry, darling.” he chuckled softly and pressed a kiss to her forehead.
“M'thinking about you, though.”
“Are you?” she asked quietly and looked up at him.
“And what about me?”
“I…” he started but stopped, a frown spreading over his face.
“Hey.” she whispered and reached up to touch his face with the hand that wasn’t holding his.
“It’s just… I tried to write songs about you. I sat in the studio for hours, trying to find some words that somehow could describe the way I feel about you but… Nothing I came up with seemed to do you justice. There are no words for describing how wonderful you are or how much I love you.”
Tears welled up in her eyes at his words, she never thought about it in that way.
“I don’t want you to feel like you have to write songs about me, you know. Just because I’m your girlfriend it doesn’t mean you have to write about me.”
“I know that but you’re so much more than just my girlfriend. You’re my best friend, my family but most importantly the love of my life. And of course I want to write about you but I know that no song could ever describe our story.”
Her heart melted at his words, a few tears dribbling down her cheeks and hitting his chest.
“I love you. God, I love you so much.” she whimpered and kissed his lips over and over and over again.
Harry stroked her wild hair from her face and kept her close.
“Can you promise me to never ever question my feelings for you again? Breaks my heart when you do.”
“I’ll try.” she giggled.
Harry gave her a playfully stern look, scolding her gently.
“I promise. Think you’ve done a good job at proofing your feelings as well.” she smirked.
“Oh, have I?”
“Oh, yes. But maybe, just to make sure, you could do it again.”
“Just to make sure, hm?” he teased her.
“Just to make sure.”

Her | Harry Styles

Listen to: Rewind by Tontario x Lucas Nord

A/N: The first Harry imagine I write and it’s sad, boo. But hey, it’s insanely long! And this is the first time I’ve tried to write their accents (feedback appreciated)! Enjoy! 

Word count: 8000+

Gif not mine!

Originally posted by tmlnsn

My thumb strums across the strings once to check the sound. Still sounds a little wonky. I twist one of the knobs on the head of the guitar to adjust it and try again. A bit better, but it’s still not that desired acoustic sound I’m looking for. Apart from the guitar, Louis random shuffling on the couch is the only noise I hear in the large living room. His tattooed left arm is draped across his face to block out the sun rays that shine through the giant windows as he sleeps the afternoon away. Right beside him is Liam, whose elbow is propped up on the arm of the couch. His brown eyes are locked on his phone as he scrolls through Twitter most likely. The boredom that is written all over his face is taking a toll, too. He looks like he could fall asleep at any moment like Louis.

The lads insisted on just getting together and hanging out for the day at Niall’s place, doing nothing except escape the hustle and bustle of the famous life. Too bad it didn’t work out like that, well for us it did, but not for Niall. Ever since he released his solo single and working on his golf partnership, he’s been busier than ever, always in the studio and interviews. That’s where he is currently, thankfully it’s just a quick meeting with the record label. He said he’d be back anytime now, but that was fifteen minutes ago. Our break is more than halfway over, and I’m glad to see that everyone is enjoying it. Louis with his dad duties, Liam is traveling, I just finished up the movie Dunkirk, and Niall is making his solo music; it’s great to relax once in awhile.

I give my guitar one final strum, and it rings beautifully in my ears. Finally, I think to myself. My fingers expertly pluck the strings, making up the balladic tune as I go. Thankfully these lessons Niall gave me awhile ago are starting to pay off.

“Oh?” Liam interrupts and sits forward in his seat. He flicks his gaze up to me, apologetically. “Sorry Harry, Niall is calling.”

I let out a sarcastic chuckle and turn to sit more comfortably on the coffee table. “Probably t'say he’ll be here in five minutes.” Liam shrugs with a smile and slides his thumb over the screen of his phone, answering the call.

“What’s up Nialler?”

“Sorry, I’m takin’ so long guys, but I promise ya, I’ll be t'ere in five minutes!” He sounds a little chipper. He sure wasn’t like that this morning; He didn’t want to roll out of bed. I give Liam a strange look, and he laughs. “What has you all excited mate?”

“I’ll tell ya when I get home so I can pay attention to t'is traffic. Bye guys!” He hangs up quickly, leaving Liam baffled.

“Okay..? Any guesses on to what it is?”

I purse my lips then look up at the ceiling as if the answer was carved in it. Niall usually gets excited about a lot of things: golf, women, tour, food, babies, so it’s a challenge to narrow it down to only one. If it is only one, I’m not even sure. “Uh, I dunno. Maybe something in tha’ meeting got him all dazzled?” I look back down at my guitar to place my fingers on the appropriate frets and start plucking away again. I still hear Liam pondering then Louis throws out an assumption like he wasn’t even sleeping at all.

“It’s a girl, no doubt.”

“Oh yeah?” Liam says. “What makes you so sure?”

“‘Cause,” Louis removed his arm that shields his eyes, then rubs them to adjust to the light. “We all know Niall is dedicated to whatever he does. So when he said he’d be back around eleven, he meant it.”

“Now s'noon.” I state.

“Exactly, so there’s no way a meeting would run over an extra hour unless someone screwed up. That leaves only one other option..”

He has a point. “Man, he must have been trying really hard to impress her, if it took this long.”

“Hey, first impressions are everything.”

I hear the keys giggle in the door in the foyer, followed by it swinging open quickly and Niall piling in. His new found brown hair is disheveled in the front from the wind, and his scarf and jacket hang loosely on his shoulders. “Guys!” He says as he runs into the living room. “Sorry again, but I met someone t'ere. She’s really amazin’.”

We all raise a brow then look at Louis who smiles cockily. “Oh my gosh,” Niall continues and sits on the other couch behind me. “But she’s a journalist and was t'e one who interviewed me this mornin’. She’s a couple years older than me and is stayin’ in town for a few weeks. Isn’t t'at awesome?!” There’s a twinkle in his blue eyes. Niall really must fancy her.

“You learned all this in an hour?” Liam giggles.

“And a half. I kind of wasn’t payin’ attention in t'e meetin’.” He smiles sheepishly as his face turns red.

“What’s her name?” I ask.

The answer is simple. “(Y/N),” A lovely name, indeed.

“And she’s interested?”

That smile remains, and he nods. “Yeah, I’m actually taking her out t'is Saturday after she finished workin’. I was thinkin’ maybe dinner? You guys have any ideas? I haven’t been out in so long.”

“That’s all you, mate. You know her better than we do. Dinner is excellent.” Liam reassures with a grin.

“Aw, don’t be nervous Niall. We’re all happy for you.” Louis coos. “It’s good to see you dating again, or at least going to. Now we need to get Harry on the train.” He sits up and playfully pushes my arm. I roll my green eyes.

“Come on lads. I’m perfectly happy with the single life.” Even though it does get a little lonely at times. Those times I do wish I had a woman to wake up next to and see her snoozing away, snuggled deep under the covers with her hair spilling all over the pillow. But I’m fine right now, I am. “'Sides I’ve been on dates with Kendall.”

“Ugh,” Louis scoffs, annoyed that I even brought her up. “You two are so back and forth it’s not even worth it Harry.”

“Well I wish you all the luck,” Liam chimes, then stands up and heads over to the PlayStation located on one of the shelves in the entertainment center. He flicks the television on and grabs each of a controller. I set my guitar next to the sofa and take the controller from Louis’ hand. “Now I believe it’s time to do nothing.” I plop down next to Niall.

“Agreed!” Niall says and kicks off his shoes before sinking deep into the sofa.

That was the first time I heard about her.

* * *

Three weeks went by since Niall had his date. He’s taken her out a few more times after that, and I’m surprised that they haven’t put a title on it yet. Maybe he’s still trying to get a read on her. Although, I’m sure he knows what he’s looking for because ever since that first date, she’s the topic of his conversation. The way he rambles on about her makes me feel like I’ve known her for years on end. Is that what a puppy crush is like: having them on your mind every passing second? It sounds exhausting.. and has it been that long since I had one?

Man Harry…

But I’m not bitter, I’m far from it actually. I’ve never heard of someone that can make Niall as happy as she can. The last time I’ve seen him this ecstatic was when we went on tour together a few months ago; so it’s great to see a different side of Niall I haven’t viewed in awhile.

The sun hovers just above the horizon, making the sky a pale shade of orange. Such a rare occurrence in London to see a beautiful sunset like this. From my spot in the kitchen, I hear the front door open every so often as people start filing in for the cookout I’m having. Loud music pounds in the backyard where I see it filled with acquaintances and close friends. Some are by the pool or huddled around the bonfire that took Liam and me twenty minutes to build while Louis “supervised,” with beers in most of their hands, which is exactly what I’m stocking up on in here. Various beers are placed into the cooler, but it’s mostly just Stella and Guinness.

Once it’s significantly full, I place the lid on it and slide it off the countertop, but before I take my first step, I see someone sitting on the arm of my white sofa, smiling shyly. I set the cooler back on the counter and scoot over a few inches to get a better view and man.. do I. Her right hand is covering her mouth as she laughs at something somebody has said while the other holds a tart beer. Her hair is tied up into a messy bun. She’s dressed in a pair of blue skinnies rolled up past the ankle and a large gray sweater. My tongue darts out and licks my bottom lip before biting it. Man, she’s really pretty from afar, but what about.. up close?

I walk out of the kitchen, that cooler the last thing on my mind now. Darting and weaving through the crowd, my heart beat grows with every step. What do I say? Surely, I haven’t met her before because I could never forget a face like that. Maybe that’s what I’ll-

My thoughts are shut off by a hand coming down on her shoulder, that laugh stopping me dead in my tracks. He plants a kiss on her cheek causing her to giggle even more, but when she lightly pecks him on the lips, I have to look away. That’s Niall’s girl, (Y/N). I run a hand through my hair, embarrassed.

Oh no.

I turn on my heel to retreat back into the kitchen, but his voice stops me this time. “Hey, Harry! I finally found ya! C'mere for a sec!” He sounds cheery. I comply and finish making my way over; that’s when my heart stomach does somersaults. She stands up from her place on the couch, Niall’s arm is wrapped around her waist, in his hand is a beer as well. “Harry, t'is is (Y/N).” The atmosphere around me turns into slow motion. It’s exactly like I thought, her beauty is more radiant up close. Her eyes are the shade of (Y/E/C) with little flecks of a darker hue throughout the irises. My own fall down her slender face, taking in each feature of hers: plump lips, long nose, rosy cheeks, and a smile that just… kills me. “(Y/N), t'is is Harry, one of my best friends.”

“Um, hello.” I extend my hand for her to shake and she takes it. They’re soft and small compared to mine. “It’s nice to meet you officially. Niall talks about you all the time." 

"Does he?” She eyes him playfully, his cheeks turning pink. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, too, Harry. You have a lovely home.”

“Thank yeh,” Her hand disappears from my grasp, and I’m begging for it to return… No, Harry stop. She’s Niall’s. Don’t be that guy, my brain screams at me, but my gaze can’t be torn away. “Uh, can I get yeh guys anythin’? I was jus’ bringing mo’ beer outside before-” I laid eyes on your girl, Nialler, the devil inside me echoes. “yeh stopped me.” I finish, tacking on a smile at the end. They both examine their bottles, then shake their heads.

“We’re okay, t'anks though,” Niall says. “See ya outside?” I nod at him and smirk at her before walking back to the kitchen. I let out a big breath that I didn’t even realize I was holding. Why am I even acting like this? Obviously, Niall has had other girls around before, super famous ones in fact. What makes (Y/N) so unique? Why does she give me butterflies in the pit of my stomach when I’ve only said a few sentences to her?

It’s a puppy crush, Harry, that demon whispers again.

My lips form a hard line at the dark side of my brain. No way, I’m not that guy who falls for his best friend’s girl. Niall saw her first, and it’s happy currently, besides I-I have Kendall. My lips form a half smile when I see that he’s toying with her fingers that rest by her side as they converse with others. Her cheeks turn a darker shade of pink when Niall turns to her with a smile. He’s making her blush uncontrollably, so much that she has to avert her eyes to the ground.

“Where’s that beer, man?” Louis’ hand comes down hard on the counter, making me jump. He cackles and picks up the cooler, the bottles rattling together against one another. “What are you staring at out there..?” He peers out the large opening in the wall, following my gaze. “Who is that Harry?”

Her name tumbles off the tip of my tongue. “Oh, seriously? That’s Niall’s girl? The one he goes on and on about?” I nod, not breaking away for a second. “She’s kind of cute, but seriously mate, stop staring it’s rude.” He chuckles, pushing me with the cooler to force me out of the kitchen.

The rest of the evening consists of big conversation, drinking, swimming, more drinking, singing cheesy songs around the campfire, and drinking. I swear the cooler was gone within the hour of filling it. I had to make two more trips to the kitchen, good thing my tolerance is high, or I’d be napping on the grass like Louis right now. However, I’m not drinking to get drunk, I’m only enjoying it.

Many of the people have left, so it’s just the five of us around the flickering flames. Louis is still passed out, but Liam, Niall, and I still chat each other’s ears off. (Y/N)’s sitting between Niall’s legs, his arms are wrapped around her protectively. She leans back into him, tired eyes have finally shut. That could be you holding her close, Harry. What the hell is my brain doing? “So, uh,” I say, trying to rid these thoughts of betrayal. “How come you guys haven’t put a title on this?”

His voice is small. “Waitin’ for t'e right time.”

Liam raises a brow and takes a sip of his beer. “This isn’t a marriage proposal, Nialler.” I chuckle at the comment. “Just ask her.”

Niall scoffs. “Being the romantic that I am, I want it to be special. A girl like her deserves it, well every girl does, but you know what I mean.” Liam chuckles in response then sips his beer.

“Hey man, quit teasin’ him. I happen to think s'quite lovely.” This makes Liam roll his eyes.

“Thank you, Harry!”

I smirk. “Besides, I may be jumpin’ the gun, but could yeh imagine his marriage proposal if he’s makin’ a big deal about jus’ askin’ her out?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, my stomach tightens. I feel sick now.

“Extravagant!” Liam says. “Damn Nialler, what are you thinkin’? Something crazy like sky-diving? Oh! What about a roller coaster proposal?”

“Interesting..” He mumbles with a grin. “I’m not looking to kill myself lads and who says I’m getting married anytime soon?” We both shrug. “Who knows if she’ll even say yes to the first part..” His expression is now gloomy.

“Oh please,” I retort. “Yeh should have seen the way she was lookin’ at yeh tonight. She had stars in her eyes for you, mate. There’s somethin’ there, I know it.”

“Aw, that’s adorable Hazza.” Liam coops then ruffles my hair. I swat his hand away as his teasing continues.

“Maybe you’re right..” Niall trails off and looks down at her with a smile. His finger tracing lightly across the top of her hand.

My eyes avert to the flickering flames reflecting on what I’ve said. I meant every word, but a pang of emptiness washes over. I want someone to look at me like that, with stars in their eyes. All that love and compassion boiled down into one simple look. I want someone to hold by the fire while we look at the stars and talk about whatever we wanted. I want someone to be there when I walk off the stage and hug me even though I’m sweaty. I want to wake up next to someone I love. I want those stars and that feeling.

But I’m all alone.

* * *

As the days go by, she and I finally got closer; a month later and my heart is happy to call her one of my very good friends, but the pang in my stomach still remains. Niall finally asked her to be his girlfriend a few days after my party. He didn’t go all out like we thought; it was just a simple dinner date, but at the fanciest restaurant in town. Of course, he told me all about it. He walked her up to her door, his hand in hers, smiling uncontrollably. The stars twinkled in the night sky like Christmas lights. He fumbled with his words after he kissed her like she stole his breath away, then he asked her, and he said her face was indescribable. He still can’t believe she said yes, he tells me all the time, probably more times than I can count. He’s thrilled to call her his.. and so am I…

It’s a peaceful afternoon at my house. The only sound heard is the chirping birds and noise from Freddie’s babbling on the floor in front of me. It’s about four in the afternoon, and I was hanging around my house, writing some lyrics in my little notebook. However, I had to cut it short when Louis called and asked if I could watch his son while he attended a meeting. Since we are London, it’s impossible for Briana to look after him all the way from California and Eleanor is out of town. So now I’m just sitting on the fuzzy rug, watching Freddie pick up toys and hand each one to me. I got to say I have quite the collection: rubber duckies and rattles galore. That is until I hear a knock on the door.

“Eh?” Freddie coos and waves his arms, curious about the strange noise he just heard.

“Did you hear that, too, buddy?” I chuckle, and he coos again with a gummy smile. Another knock. “Let’s go investigate!” I pick him up in my arms then head over to the front door. The blue rattle noisily shakes next to my ear. Peering through the peephole, I see a large familiar eye staring me down. A smile plays on my lips when I realize who it belongs to. Unlocking and opening the door, I see her standing in a pair of tight jeans and a sweatshirt that looks too big for her, must be Niall’s. “Hey (Y/N),”

“Hi Hazza,” A big smile appears when she locks eyes with Freddie. “And hello to you handsome, what’s your name?” Freddie offers his rattle, and she takes it, thanking him.

“His name is Freddie. He is pretty handsome though, eh?”

“Absolutely,” His tiny hand reaches out and grabs my nose, making her giggle. “That’s a nose, Freddie.” He chatters and squeezes.

“Ow! Here.” I pry his hand away than offer him my pointer finger; his teeny fingers wrap around it.

“Oh!” She exclaims. “Um, Niall "borrowed” these from you; he’s busy on at the recording studio, and I have a day off so I thought I’d return them.“ Behind her back, she reveals a couple of romantic comedies.

I take them. "Thanks, um. Do you want to come in? If you’re not busy or anything.”

“Thankfully, I’m not.” She walks past me then stops and turns. “Can I hold him? You have your hands full.” I nod and pass him off into her long arms. She taps him on the nose, and his blue eyes blink rapidly like he is in awe of what just happened. When she does it again, she adds a sound effect making him erupt in bubbly giggles. The picture makes those butterflies come alive. I closed the door and follow her into the living room. She admires the foyer that’s just to the right of it. Freddie has his hand wrapped around his rattle that he’s reclaimed and shakes it. “It’s so empty in here, Hazza. Don’t you ever get lonely?”

All the time is what I want to say, but I reply with, “Nah, I have Freddie here with me.” Besides, now that you’re here, I’ve got twice the company. We both sit on the white wrap around couch. Freddie is cuddled up against her chest, still invested with that toy.

“How come you never told me you had kids?”

I give her a wide eyed look. She thought he was mine. “Oh, he’s not mine. I’m just baby sitting. Freddie is Louis’.”

“Oh! Sorry! I’m embarrassed now.” Her cheeks tint a light red.

“Niall never told you about Freddie?” She shakes her head. “Oh well, he’s Louis and Briana’s.” I chuckle at her immediate shyness.

“You are just so good with him, I just assumed that he was yours..”

“Thanks, he does have greenish eyes I guess, his are way prettier though.”

“I think you have lovely eyes, Harry, I’m jealous of them.”

I smile at her compliment then point to the nearly sleeping baby. “You’re good with him, too. You almost knocked him out.” She peers down and giggles. “I’ll grab his blanket, then he’ll be out for sure.” I walk over to his diaper bag and pull out the soft blue blanket. “He usually can’t sleep without it.” I lay it out on the cushion between us then she gently sets Freddie down, already snoozing away. Her pointer finger caresses his little cheek coaxing him into a deeper sleep.

“So what are your plans for today besides delivering films?”

She chuckles softly, “Dunno, probably go over some notes on this new article I’m working on.”

“Workin’ on your day off? I simply won’t stand for it.” I smile when she laughs.

My eyes are fixated on her loving actions. I’m craving that gentle touch from her hand… Or her lips. My gaze trails down to her mouth that’s slightly a gap. It makes me bite my bottom lip. I really want to kiss her. What does she taste like?

She’s like a magnet as I feel myself drifting closer. The beating of my heart is like a bass drum that’s out of control. My hand reaches out slowly, my thumb gently tracing her cheek that causes her to look up at me. Her hand disappears from Freddie’s cheek and reappears on the top of my own. It feels so sweet. I want it to last forever.

My next move makes my heart explode. Overcome with lust, I lean in quickly and place a long kiss on those plump lips. Pulling away slightly, lips still grazing, I open my eyes and see her staring. Those eyes are intimidating. “Harry,” She whispers then repeats my name a little longer and louder. When she pulls away entirely, I blink and see her giving me a weird look.

“You okay? You’ve been staring at something for awhile.” She questions and I shake my head, snapping out of the trance.

Jesus, I was just fantasizing about her. Seriously, Harry? What have we said a million times? She has Niall and is clearly happy. Why can’t I get that through my head and why do I want to ruin something so special? He’s my best friend.

I struggle to find an answer, my cheeks turning red in the process. “Did I have something on my face?” She wipes her forehead, but I shake my head. “Oh gosh, it was in my teeth wasn’t it?” Again, I shake my head. “Well, what then?”

“It’s nothing,” Is all I manage to squeak out, but she rolls her eyes.

“Obviously it was something. You can tell me.” She adds a smirk at the end.

I-I just… My brain doesn’t even want to complete the thought. I don’t want to admit it. I really don’t. I’ve only known you for a month and a half, yet you’re having this effect on me that I can’t explain. When you’re here, my heart doesn’t feel lonely, it glows with happiness. You give me… those stars. The stars I’ve wanted for the past year. Every time I look at you whether you’re in a crowd or next to Niall, you’re all I see.

“I’d rather not say what it is. It’s kind of personal. It’s not about you either, I was kind of in the zone, ya know?” I say then she nods.

“Alright, no worries. I won’t ask. However, I will ask how your day was.” She giggles quietly, trying not to wake Freddie. I smile and tell her, “So, um, you wanna to watch a film?”

I think I’m falling for you, (Y/N), and it crushes me knowing that I can never have you for myself.


* * *

A year and a half down the road, we are the best of friends. I know everything about her: her family, hometown, favorite color, food, band, guilty pleasure, anything. We hang out so much the tabloids think she’s cheating on Niall with me. She laughs about how wrong they are and continue to see me because she would never be that person. That’s one thing Niall, and I love about you. I’m glad that he didn’t think twice about it and that he trusts we would never do that out of respect for him. She doesn’t give a shit what other people think and doesn’t let the media influence her. She is a committed and passionate woman. She doesn’t hide her relationship in public, yet she doesn’t show it off like others do. She’s sophisticated.

And that’s exactly how she looks tonight. It’s the premiere of Dunkirk, well one of the after parties at her home. The movie was fantastic, dramatic, and full of action. I’ll admit it was a bit weird seeing myself on the big screen. I’m not used to it I guess.

Everyone looks incredible as well, but not as amazing as that long dark wine dress she’s wearing. It’s strapless with a glittering sweetheart top and a plain flowing bottom that starts just above her hips. She matched it with a cherry red lipstick; the shade complements her skin nicely.

She spends most of the night attached at Niall’s side, his arm wrapped protectively around her waist as they both chat with guests that I don’t even know. Of course, she’s had a few beverages in between so when she finally slipped away, she was stumbling her way around the house going who the hell knows where. Those white pumps she was wearing troubled her on the carpet, so she ditched them later on. Her perfectly curled hair was falling out of the pins that held it in place. However, she didn’t stick out like a sore thumb, a few other ladies and lads were already, or way, past the state she’s in. Some are asleep on the sofa, and others are trudging around the house like her.

Being the good friend I am, I kept my eye on her, making sure she didn’t do anything stupid. Thankfully, she didn’t. We are in the living room again, she found her place back at Niall’s side. Both hands are wrapped around his arm as she snuggles her head into his shirt sleeve. He laughs along with colleagues while drinking a beer, the same one I have in my right hand. I’m observing the party by the large patio doors, scanning the large crowd. He kisses the top of her head then whispers something causing her to smirk and nod.

And she’s off again, heading to a new direction of the house. My eyes follow her out of the living room and a step into the foyer until she stops and turns. Glossed over eyes are now on me, the smirk still remaining. She motions for me to come closer with her index finger and I laugh but comply.


“Hazza, I need you to help me.”

“With what?”

“Niall asked me to get something for him, but I can’t remember where it is. Please come with me?” Her small hand takes mine and tugs me towards the dark hallway, but I hesitate. The feeling gets my heart racing again. “Harry, come on!” She drags me down that hallway until we come to a closed door. She pushes it open and steps inside, her fingers still wrapped tightly around my palm. She flicks on the light, and two lamps click on, revealing where we are.

The bedroom.

It’s vast and spacious. Windows along the entire right-hand wall, letting in vast amounts of moonlight. It has a modern touch mixed with a woodsy feel, just how Niall likes it. I gulp when I see the bed all unmade. The white comforter thrown back, some pillow are at the foot, and some are beside it. “Okay, Hazza. Ignore the mess. I didn’t think I’d bring anyone back here.” She says, turning to face me, the soft touch slips away. “It’s his camera. He really likes it. It’s around here somewhere I just don’t know where.” Her gaze falls to my silk shirt, her irritated brain derailing her off the right track already. Her thumbs play with the two buttons that are undone near the top. “Oh my gosh. Has anyone ever told you that you look so handsome in these shirts?” Her comment makes me blush and stutter. “I like seeing all your tattoos exposed.”

“Thank you…”

She giggles and pulls away. My heart does a somersault, and I exhale a large breath. “Let’s find his camera thing.”

We part ways and search on opposite sides of the room. I started at the bedside table on worked my way around the outside edge of the room, finding nothing. I scanned on top and underneath dressers, under the love seat by the window, and the bed. Now I’m searching through the chest that’s in front of it. No luck so far. “Ugh,” She groans before collapses on the bed. “I give up, I don’t know where he put it. I’ve searched everywhere.” She crawls over, so she hangs off the foot of the bed. “Did you find it?”

“No,” I move some more things, but nothing. “You sure it’s even in here?”

“He said, 'Princess, can you get my camera from the bedroom? I want to show whatshisname some photos.’” Her voice grows deeper and Irish to mock Niall’s voice, it makes me laugh. She chuckles along with me before rests her chin on her crossed arms. “I’m so sleepy Harry,”

“Then go to sleep?”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” I close the chest, giving up as well then lock eyes with her.

“Because Niall isn’t here and I don’t want to sleep by myself.”

But I’m here instead. Those words are at the tip of my tongue, begging to be said. How nice it must be to get the privilege of falling asleep next to her every night. I gulp. No Harry, don’t say it. She’s drunk and who knows what her reaction might be. I don’t want to-

“Harry?” She asks, cutting off my rambling thoughts. “Can you come lay with me?”

My eyes grow wide. “Um, I don’t think-”

“Pretty please, Hazza? I’ve always wanted you to.” My heart drops into my stomach after those words left her lips. 'Always wanted me to?’ No, no. She doesn’t mean it. But a drunk mind speaks a sober heart, my demon hisses. Yeah, well how true is that? That’s just a legend.

“You’re drunk you don’t know what you’re saying. It’d be wrong for me to-”

“You cuddle with the boys all the time. That doesn’t make you gay. Please come lie with me, Harry?” She whines. I give her another look, but she just asks again.


She squeals with excitement and shuffles backward before I crawl in. She cuddles up next to me with her head on my left inner left shoulder. Her other arm is draped across my torso. My arm rests around both her shoulders while my other hand lies on my stomach, fingertips barely grazing her left forearm. She nuzzles her nose into my neck, her breath tickling me. I smile smally. My heart is beating fast and loud, it’s like it’s pounding in my ears. I shouldn’t be doing this, but… after a year and half of lusting over her, I just can’t wait anymore. Everything is so perfect right now, except for the fact that she’s a little intoxicated. Just keep that mindset, Harry. She lets out of hum of satisfaction. “You’re so warm, Hazza.”

“Naturally, I guess.”

She lets out a short chuckle and moves her hand over my chest. “Your heart is beating so fast.. Am I making you nervous?” She moves her head away from my neck and back onto my shoulder. Yes. But before I answer, she continues. “You make me nervous. I get butterflies in my stomach anytime you’re around, and my heart feels just like this… It’s like every time I see you, I just can’t get over how beautiful you are, inside and out.”

“Now you’re making me nervous..” I whisper.

“The nervous that I feel or a different kind?” Her fingers find the buttons of my shirt again. Her long wine colored dress drapes over one of my legs.

I gulp. I didn’t think I would ever be confessing my feelings for her in a million years, but fate has other plans. “Um, the one you feel.” My answer makes her head perk up, our faces just inches apart. I could never want anything more to see her staring back at me with the same look I give her. “Do you like me Harry Styles?” She whispers.

I swallow down the frog in my throat. Here goes nothing. “I-I actually love you. More than you know.” She bites her lips then leans in, our lips connecting slow but lovingly. It’s exactly how I pictured she would feel like a pile of feathers. Her taste, however, stings like liquor, making the magic fade and the realization hit that this isn’t how pictured it. The demon in me fuels my adrenaline, my passion, and lust. I set us both up, the kisses are rougher and start traveling places: the neck, below the ear, across her collarbone. She moans my name, and it’s like music to my ears. Her hands tear off my black silk shirt and throw it across the room, before returning for more. Her slender fingers are in my hair driving me mad with each move. My own greedy hands reach around and feel for the zipper of her dress. It inches down slowly.


Pulling it off, I toss it away, and it hits the floor with a thud. I reattach at her neck and work my way down towards her bare breasts.

Stop! The angel on my shoulder screams. I pull away frantically, not meeting her eye line. She asks me what’s wrong, but I just shake my head. She sniffles like she getting ready to cry and covers up her exposed self. Oh no, please no. I grab her cheeks in both my hands and explain. “Don’t cry, you didn’t do anything. It’s just that… I’m stupid I shouldn’t have done this. You’re not mine. Your Niall’s.

"But… I meant everything I said.”

“Then tell me again tomorrow when you’re sober because right now I don’t believe anything.”

“Har-” I cut her off by placing a soft kiss on her lips, then climb off the bed to retrieve her dress and my shirt. I offer it to her, but she shakes her head and motions to the dresser. “Just get me a shirt, I’m going to bed.” I walk over and fish a black one out then toss it to her. I set her dress on the love seat. She slips it on while I button my shirt back up. “You may want to clean your face up.” She giggles. “It’s stained cherry red.” I finger slides across my mouth and examines the red pigment.

“Okay, thank you, but first..” I walk back over to the bed, and she sets up on her knees, eye level with me. She kisses me tenderly, and I explode all over again. “You wanted one more, right?”

“Right,” I whisper against her lips. “I hope you remember this, love, even though a strong part of me wants you to forget.”

We exchange our good nights then I walk into their bathroom, cleaning up all the lipstick the best I can. It saddens me to do so because it feels like I’m wiping away all her affection. I sigh and shut off the water, discarding the wipe in the trash can. I flip off the lights then walk back out into the bedroom. Her body cuddled deeply into the comforter as she sleeps. I fight the urge to just say fuck it and crawl back in. But that’s Niall’s girl, not mine. As I head to the door, I see a camera hanging on the hook, that’s hidden slightly behind a coat. That must be it. I grab it and look back one last time at the sleeping beauty before flicking off the lights and heading back to the party.

Please don’t forget.

* * *

Lightning draws patterns in the night sky followed by cracking thunder seconds afterward. I’m lying on my white couch strumming the strings on my guitar to some ballad. It’s been a few days since she’s spoken to since that night. I keep wondering if I screwed up by confessing my feelings. That’s usually how that works doesn’t it? Whatever doesn’t matter. “What a feeling to be right here beside you now, holding you in my arms. When the air ran out, and we both started running wild. The sky fell down, but you’ve got stars; they’re in your eyes, and I’ve got something missing tonight. What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow. I wish I could be there now.” I abruptly stop and sigh annoyed. “Story of my life.” I sit up and set my guitar on the couch next to me then walk out into the dark foyer and head towards the kitchen.

A rapid knock stops me in my tracks. I glance down at my watch, almost ten o’ clock. Who would be coming over at this time of night and it’s pouring down rain. I flip on the light to the foyer and the patio outside before peering out the peephole. I don’t recognize the face because they are looking down to shield their face from the rain and a black hoodie helps the disguise. Longish hair pokes out though, so it must be a girl. Her figure shakes from the rain. Cautiously, I open the door. “Um, can I help you?” She looks, and I see (Y/N). My eyes widen, and I usher her inside. She’s soaking from head to toe. “(Y/N), What are you doing here?” She pulls her hood back, revealing her damp face.

“I had to come see you..”

“What’s the matter? Is everything alright?” All she does is rush into my arms, squeezing my core tight. I gulp and wrap my arms around her cold shivering body. Sobs begin to escape her.

“What’s wrong, love? Did something happen with Niall?”

“I love you, Harry.” My stomach churns when I pull away from her with the look of astonishment on my face. She came all the over here just to tell me that. When I don’t respond, she starts to ramble, averting her gaze back to the floor, but after she’s finished she looks back with, and that’s when I see them, those stars I’ve been searching for in her eyes.

“Do you really mean that?” I murmur and she whispers a small yes. I kiss her for real this time; my hand on the back of her neck, bringing her closer if that’s possible. She tastes minty not like liquor. I know it’s been only two days, but I missed her touch so much already. Show her how much she means to you, they say.

I pull away and take her hand, leading her down the dark hallway this time. Rapid cracks of thunder erupt with each step we take like the angels are screaming at us, but I continue walking. As soon as my bedroom door closed, she’s up against it. It’s like a dance as we move around the room. All this pent up energy that has grown over the course of a year and a half is being released. Each kiss is like fire, and each touch is like a drug. My cravings keep escalating further and further. The way my name sounds on her lips is the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard.

I couldn’t tell you how long it lasted; it seemed like hours. Our naked bodies heaving against one another. I lie on her chest, her fingers weaving through my matted curls. The rain still patterns on the roof coaxing us to sleep. I scoot off of her onto my own pillow, and she curls up in front of me. My pointer finger ghosting around her jaw and over her bruised lips. “I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you, too, Harry.” She whispers.

Our eyes rest on each for a few more moments until they eventually close. Finally, I fall asleep with someone in my arms. Too bad they aren’t officially mine.

An entire year passes with our little ongoing secret, Niall has no idea or at least as far as we know. With the album complete, he’s home an awful lot some I’m sure he does think about where she disappears to at nine o’ clock in the evening a couple nights a week. When we are alone, our time together consists of lots of cuddling and kisses, things I can never get enough of, but we still do upkeep on our friendship and do stuff we normally do before this all started. Although, I wish I could take her out into the world to show her off; Niall does that enough though.

Every time I think about him, I feel guilty and I should because what I’m doing is wrong. I need to back off and let Niall have her all to himself. But I love her so much, I can’t help but continue. I don’t think I could stop if I wanted to, but… I can’t forget the night she shattered my heart.

She came over like usual, nine o’ clock sharp. I greet her with a kiss and a smile. However, she doesn’t return it. My brows come together confused and worried. She drops her purse on the kitchen table, then walks back to the bedroom, holding her long brown coat closed. I follow after her, bombarding her with questions. My concern shooting through the roof when I hear her cry. She sits on the edge of my bed, head held low as she sobs. Her hands clutching her sides. I crouch in front of her and rub her knee. “Tell me what’s wrong, love.”

She can’t even look at me when she mutters out a response. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

My body grows hot all of a sudden, and I feel queasy. “I can take it, don’t worry.” She closes her eyes carefully, and more tears spill over.

“I should be happy, but um, Niall proposed to me yesterday. I said.. yes.” My whole world collapses as I stare at her shielded left hand. I fall back on the floor, dumbfounded. She rattles off apologies, but I just ignore them. Sadness fills me up like a glass of water.

“Stop saying sorry for getting engaged. I don’t matter, I’m just the guy in the dark. Sure, I love you, and I wish it were me giving you that ring, but Niall saw you first Brittney. You are his, not mine.”

I stand up, overcome with emotion and start pacing. “But I love you, Harry.” She retorts.

“Then why the hell did you say yes? Why are you still with him if you love me?” She doesn’t respond. “It’s not right..” I shake my head at the sound of my own voice cracking. “I think..” I sniffle, my tears falling down my cheeks. “I believe that you should be with Niall and only Niall..” Even though I love you with all of my heart or what’s left of it.

“Harry..” She shoots up off the bed and rushes over to me. Her soft touch caressing my cheek. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you..”

“(Y/N).. I don’ want to, but I have to. I can’t keep hurting myself emotionally like this, watching you share your love with someone else kills me. I want to do all the things he can do with you in public. I want to marry you and grow old with you, but I can’t do that. You are already doing it with him. He loves you so much, probably more than me.” I kissed her, and this one hurts because I know it will be the last one for forever. “Please marry him,” I whisper as I rest my forehead against hers. “Do it for me.” She says okay with a small grin.

“Just know that you’ll always have a place in my heart.”

And she still does.

Stay This Little

REQUEST: from @wardley10

Hey love. I’ve a prompt that before Harry goes off on his solo world tour, Fionn and he are babysitting a toddler that the reader and Jack have together. You all met when you worked together on Dunkirk. Jack gives the guys instructions before he leaves for work and he also makes phone calls to the lads during the day (with banter but also being a protective Dad) to make sure his daughter’s okay. A trip to the park, ice creams and feeding ducks ensue. Hope this makes sense. Thx xxx

A/N: I didn’t know how much I needed this in my life until I started writing it. Thanks love!

Title: Never Grow Up 
by Taylor Swift

“Mate, stop stressing, everything will be fine. You asked me because I’ve done this before, yeah?” Jack nodded and sighed, scrubbing his hand over his face. He’d rehashed his instructions for the fourth time, as well as handing Fionn a written copy and Harry was ready to throw Jack out of the house on his arse.

“We get that you’re nervous leaving her with someone else, but she’ll be fine. She already loves us, mate and we’ve got your’s and Y/N’s numbers if there’s any problems-“ Jack looked at Fionn in alarm, cutting the younger man off.

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anonymous asked:

The new fans who just go "awww they're such good friends!!" Meanwhile they're making out in their tour bus

oh my god i am so here for this au okay lemme Expand on this

  • tristan is still famous but piper holds this as a closely guarded secret from literally everyone, including annabeth and reyna (i’m just rlly feelin this whole Angsty Teen Movie where she’s got Big Dreams that she wants to achieve without daddy’s help al;ksdjf)
  • she gets gigs on her own in bars and nightclubs or whatever. her voice is beautiful and her audience is always thrilled with her, but she doesn’t have enough of a unique kinda vibe that could make her famous.
  • reyna and hylla used to play on sidewalks for change, they were the Small Town Girls With Big Time Dreams hoping to get a record deal
  • hylla eventually becomes responsible and jaded and gets a job and is kind of annoyed when reyna still wants to pursue music.
  • they part ways kind of bitterly, but reyna really is serious about music. she’s absolutely lethal with a guitar, and anyone who’s heard her play is surprised she isn’t more successful (she has some kind of unique Sound like idk she’s like eddie van halen and built her own guitar or something)
  • piper and reyna book a gig at the same seedy bar one night, purely out of coincidence.
  • they will joke a lot later about how the first time reyna saw piper, she was literally standing in a spotlight and angels were singing (even if the angel was piper herself)
  • reyna’s like, TOTALLY smitten the instant she sees piper and knows immediately that she wants to break her out of this dingy bar and tour the country together making music forever.
  • so that’s what they do!!
  • reyna finds her after she gets off stage and gushes about how talented she is, and of course piper is hugely flattered. (can you honestly fucking imagine reyna saying to piper “what’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” im gonna LOSE it l;kdjkl;fj. she doesn’t actually say that though but like. ima G IN E)
  • somehow they end up on stage together? the audience is probably cheering for an encore for piper and piper is sort of embarrassed because reyna is supposed to go but reyna’s like nah, stay up with me
  • ANYWAY reyna starts wailing out “i love rock ‘n’ roll” and they belt it out together like they’ve practiced it for years and they have this instant musical connection and like??? keep making dramatic eye contact at each other while they’re singing at their respective microphones….
  • they finish and the crowd is like going WILD for them (they hadn’t noticed while they were playing bc they were so wrapped up in each other honestly wtf)
  • THIS IS THE SONG THEY DO NEXT oh my god imagine imagine piper doing this on stage with reyna..i’d die
  • they do the most badass cover of i kissed a girl ever and piper changes the lyrics????? to make it explicit that she kisses girls and doesn’t have a boyfriend?? and reyna KNOWS it’s intentional bc like she literally changed the lyrics and keeps making bedroom eyes at her like honestly…..damn piper y u so smooth
  • i was gonna make it a slow burn but honestly like they hook up that very night lmao
  • the video of i kissed a girl goes viral and that is how they get that Lesbian Attention bc like honestly it’s rlly cute and u can actually see the moment piper stops just singing the song and starts flirting, it’s like halfway through the second verse she’s like “no i don’t even know your name…” and then she kind’ve giggles into the microphone and says “but it really matters” and turns around to look back at reyna who is staring at her with REALLY HUGE EYES…omg
  • anyway that video rlly helps them bc after that they start a youtube channel and they do a bunch of badass covers and become pretty successful, and eventually they get a record deal
  • piper writes the lyrics to their songs and reyna writes the music. piper of course sings lead vocals but reyna can do backup, and they harmonize really nicely.
  • they’re successful in their like little Niche of fans, but they don’t Make It Big. they’re disappointed and frustrated that things seemed to have stalled….which brings us to annabeth
  • um honestly the only way i can see annabeth bein into music is if her parents were? so that’s how they met. her mom was some young starlet who wanted to be a singer, swept her dad off her feet, had a baby, and then fucked off to get a record deal with little heed for her kid. annabeth gets it in her head at a young age that she can get her mom’s attention if she becomes even better than her.
  • annabeth doesn’t do anything half way so she plays like 8 instruments and she’s fucking good at all of them. annabeth’s mom is a deadbeat though and once annabeth figures out she’ll never be good enough, she decides to get so much more famous than her mom’s failed pop star career out of pure spite.
  • n like, it works. she has a successful solo career. she’s a very talented musician and a good singer. she’s right on the edge of being an A-lister, but she’s not quite there yet.
  • only problem: she’s unhappy because fame can’t buy happiness (this is actually a study in how many cliches can i cram into this)
  • she’s also missing like, the soul of her music? her fans are starting to complain that she’s a sell out and the grit and rawness that used to make her music so great is now just commercialized and mainstream (it wouldn’t bother her except that they’re right; she barely writes her own stuff anymore)
  • she’s honestly like trying to work through her issues with her mom i bet and like it just makes her whole career feel jaded, and she’s miserable.
  • i do not know how she discovers piper and reyna’s music but when she does she instantly loses her mind because they are incredible
  • she’s stunned that she hasn’t heard of them before, and even more stunned that they aren’t more popular
  • she immediately demands that they be her opening act for her next tour
  • piper and reyna are OF COURSE like absolutely thrilled to get the news (imagine them hanging up the phone and then looking at each other all excited and then screaming and jumping up and down together ?????!)
  • the tour is, of course, filled with sexual tension and lesbian antics and progressively less annabeth playing alone and more piper and reyna and annabeth playing together
  • and at some point they decide all three of them to form a band ?
  • annabeth’s record label is like “um that’s like…the opposite of what you’re supposed to do…u ditch the band and go solo once you make it big not MAKE a band when you’re already famous??”
  • but reyna and piper make annabeth more excited about music than she’s been in a long, LONG time and also they’re REALLY good together so of course they go for it
  • and the three of them together are like, the final combo that they need to make them BIG. they become a sensation. they smash all kinds of records and become the most successful all girl band of all time aaay
  • they’re famous for writing such raw and honest songs about themselves and their life, piper is also like literally lyrical genius

also they do a collab at some point with lacy sadie and hazel’s band ;)

Alone For The Weekend

Just something I wrote a while ago, thought I’d share it with all of you!!

Harry’s POV

My alarm went off and I realised that it was 7am. Too early to wake up on a Friday. I shut off the annoying alarm and reached over to the other side of the bed, where my wife always slept, but she wasn’t there. I panicked and spoke her name in a worried tone.

“I’m here, Harry.” Her voice came from behind me.

I rolled over onto my other side and saw her standing by the large built-in wardrobe, closing the sliding glass mirror. She was all dressed and her suitcase was up against the wall. It hit me again. My wife was leaving today. She was going to spend three days away from home, in Italy with two of her girlfriends, which left me to look after our two little girls. It wasn’t that I didn’t like spending time with my daughters. I loved it but I had never been left alone with them for longer than 24 hours. This was going to be a new experience for me. (Y/N) saw the look on my face and sat on the edge of the bed, brushing her hand over my bare forearm.

“I’ll be back on Monday morning, babe.”

“It seems like you’re going for longer than that.” I sighed.

“Harry, I’ve coped without you for months at a time, when you went on tour and when you were filming Dunkirk. I’m certain you can last for three days without me.” She said sweetly and leaned down to kiss me. I locked my arm around her neck and pulled her further down, deepening the kiss. My other arm went around her waist and I tugged her onto the bed so that we lay side-by-side. She squealed and I smiled, reconnecting our lips. I was going to be without her kisses for three days. I was going to be without her hugs for three days. The scent of her hair, the fragrance of her skin, making love to her, I wouldn’t have any of it for three whole days. Sure, I had been away from her for months but since finishing Dunkirk and my first solo album, I finally had time for my family and I had gotten used to having my wife around every day. Now, she was the one that was leaving. I didn’t want to let her go but the pressure of her hands on my chest made me release her slightly.

“If you keep kissing me like that, babe, I’ll never leave.” She murmured, burying her face in my neck. I’d love that. But she needed this holiday. The kids exhausted her, I could see it. My girl deserved a bit of fun and relaxation with her girlfriends.

“You have to go. Fae and Lara will kill me if I stop you from going on your little trip.” I said. My wife giggled and looked at me with the big eyes that I had fallen for so deeply very early on.

“Look after the girls for me, Harry.”

“I will, I promise.”

“I should say goodbye to them now. Then I’m going.”

My wife hopped off the bed and picked her handbag off the floor. She pecked my lips one last time and nuzzled her nose against mine.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, (Y/N).” I said, kissing her cheek warmly. She slowly pulled away and in her eyes were the first flood of tears, sparkling brightly. She held them back and took hold of the suitcase handle, opening the bedroom door. My gaze locked to hers for the final time as she blew me a kiss, closing the door, disappearing from the sight.

She was gone.

I lay on my back, in a bed that suddenly seemed too big for just me, the ceiling blank and boring. Because she was gone, everything had been leeched of colour and soul. She lit up this room, this house, this life. My life. I didn’t know how long I stayed in bed for. It must have been at least an hour and I knew that my wife was no longer in the house now, on her way to the airport with Fae and Lara. I dozed in and out of sleep, hardly getting more than 10 minutes because I couldn’t sleep without my girl in my arms. It was a bad sign. How am I going to go to sleep tonight without her? A loud voice cracked me, coming from somewhere down the hall.


I rubbed my face with my hands, sighing. It’s started already.

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anonymous asked:

Any easy too read bedtime fics? 😂

Oooh very hard good question !! (basically it’s gonna be fics around 10k I loved, okay?)

- Coming Up For Air  : It’s a long plane ride to LA but sitting beside Harry makes time fly. (11k)

- Now I’ve Got You In My Space       : Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson almost met on X-FactorThey meet on Dancing With The Stars insteadAn Au (10k)

- Unraveling : Harry sat there with his head in his hands trying to figure out why he knew these types of things. He thought over the past few weeks, how he’d just known at certain times what Louis had been thinking or feeling, needing or wanting and it didn’t make sense to him. Until he had the wild thought, “Can I read Louis’s mind?” (10k)

- Just Think of Me As The Pages In Your Diary  : Harry, and Louis’ friends set up a blind date and they hit it up pretty well when they first meet, immediately planning a second date.  But then their friends asked them why they didn’t go on their respective dates, and it turns out that Harry was not Louis’ blind date, and vice versa. They don’t know that the other person knows that though, so they just kind of awkwardly go on dates while falling for each other.  (10k)

- I Love You Most  : Friends with benefits has always been enough for Louis. Until, of course, it isn’t. (12k)

- Worlds Away  : astronaut au fic where Louis is staying on the international space station and Harry is on earth working ground control and he and Louis have really quiet late night chats after most of the workers are gone and get to know each other in the biggest long distance relationship u could ever have…then eventually Louis comes back to earth and they have a beautiful meeting (7k)

- no good unless it grows (feel this burning, love of mine)  : it wasn’t until they were settled in and lying idly on the couch with their bodies intertwined that Harry whispered, holding back tears, “I’m not who I want to be.” Louis leaned down, lips close enough to graze Harry’s cheek, and asked simply, “Well, who do you want to be?” (6k)

- Second Time’s the Charm : Louis’ mother is convinced she met her son’s soulmate at the market. Louis is extremely hesitant to go on the blind date she’s set up, but she’s persistent, begging and pleading, pulling out all the stops. After all, mothers do know best.(Or maybe they don’t.) (8k)

- One day to believe in you        : A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it’s really inconvenient.  Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. “You think about me when you get off?”  “Yes,” Louis says. He wonders how hard he’d need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.  “Often?”  “Yes, Christ, Harry,” Louis groans. “Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I’ve been visiting family. Anything else you’d like to know?”  (8k)

- on a thousand miles and more  :  "That’s why, after Granada, they decide to stick to the places they went to together.  Retrospectively, maybe that’s when it becomes less of a holiday and more of a pilgrimage. Louis thinks he’s beginning to understand what they’re searching for. It’s something akin to closure, but not closure exactly. Something more tenuous than that. More difficult to put into words.  Something like the first exhalation you take after a particularly horrendous nightmare and you think god, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real.   Except that, in their case, it was.“[Harry and Louis go back to the places that made them who they are.] (12k)

- Oh, Fortuna  :  “Hey, Louis,” Eleanor says suddenly, “wasn’t Harry Styles on X-Factor the same year you auditioned?”  “I didn’t know you auditioned for X Factor!” Perrie gasps, as Louis sends a death glare Eleanor’s way, who at least has the decency to look apologetic. “Oh my god, did you meet him?” “Right, I need another drink.” Louis gets up heavily, ignoring Zayn’s concerned look and Eleanor’s guilty one. His head is still fuzzy, but he doesn’t feel warm anymore.
(Or, three years after Louis is sent home at the Judges Houses stage of X-Factor, and Harry finds international fame as a solo artist, they meet again at a local pub in London.)

- What A Feeling To Be A King Beside You  :  “Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson, Duke of Wellington, your highness,” the man, or boy considering he seems to be around Harry’s age or slightly older, says with a wink and a quick bow.  Huh. Duke of Wellington. Harry recalls once meeting the Duke of Wellington. He probably wasn’t a day over 7 years and honestly only remembers a mischievous boy with blue eyes that poured gravy on him. But now that he thinks about it, the Duke in front of him does have pretty, blue eyes as well. He’s also got a nice smile and a beautiful jawline covered in short stubble. His chestnut hair is done up in a perfect quiff and his dark navy suit is perfectly tailored to his body. He’s fit.(Basically: Harry is the Prince of Wales and Louis is the Duke of Wellington. They fall in love.) (17k)

- A Case of You        : Louis lives his life around photographs, and Harry’s a picture he can’t figure out AU where there they all live and work in LA, and the story’s in a song (12k)

there was a reason i collided into you  : AU where Louis and Harry are neighbors who meet in the elevator of their apartment one morning and it becomes a routine for them. Louis pines a lot. Then one day, Harry doesn’t show up at the elevator like he usually does, and well, Louis might panic. (9.5k)

Update (last update on May 5th 2017) under the cut :

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request:  Could u do one where y/n is dancing around the kitchen to like jazz/big band style music and harry comes home/downstairs whatever and joins in and just thinks it’s the cutest thing? Tysm

hello loves! hope the americans had a lovely fourth of july yesterday. i decided to change up this request just a tad, but still to the main idea of it. anyways, keep sending in requests from my NEW writing list, because i like to switch things up, or whatever you want. but don’t worry, if you requested from the other writing list, then i will still be doing those. hope you enjoy!

You had never been as proud of someone in your life as you had been of Harry. He was accomplishing everything that he had set out to do, and you couldn’t have been more proud of your husband or your heart could burst. With his first solo album doing astonishingly well, along with his first tour, he had set out to put another single into the world. After releasing it, you loved every part of it. How raw his voice sounded in it, how the instruments truly worked with the piece, how the lyrics just rolled off of his tongue. You fell in love with him all over again, just by a song. He hadn’t been home when it was released, he was off in America while you were at your London home. While you did love to travel with him, you had a deadline that you wouldn’t be able to turn in while in a different country. But you still stayed up on the night it was released to hear it for the first time. You called him around 3 am, when you knew he would be up for the day to congratulate him. He was of course bashful about all of it, but you knew he was proud of himself as well. He was returning home in a couple of days to be on Radio One with Nick, so you were more than happy to see your husband after a long two months. 

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Start of Something More

          Though I would never admit it, being Harry Styles’ best friend has its perks. For one, I’ve been able to travel the world, see sights most people my age only dream of. I’m incredibly blessed, and it’s only because I have an incredible, gifted friend. Also, because of my one incredible, gifted friend, I’ve made other incredible, gifted friends.

           You may have heard of them; they were in a little band called One Direction, which is currently on hiatus as they each branch out and try new things. Because of Harry, I met Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Niall.

           They all hold a special place in my heart, Niall especially. Which is why when I told Harry I was going to see one of Niall’s concerts, he winked cheekily at me, a broad grin stretching across his face. “Should I warn the lad to pack a condom or two?”

           “Harry!” I smacked his arm, my face coloring. Perhaps telling Harry about my crush on his former bandmate was a bad idea. I trusted Harry with my life and soul, but maybe telling him this was too much. “Niall’s my friend too, I want to support him.” It was true. Over several visits on tours, I had grown close to all of the band members, though Niall most of all. It was why I wanted to surprise him at his concert in London.

           Harry waggled his eyebrows at me, and I frowned at him. “Alright, love, make sure you have an excellent time.” He was still teasing me.

           I deflated a little, crossing my arms over my chest. “You won’t tell him, will you? I want it to be a surprise, and it won’t be if you rush off and text him the minute I leave.”

           “I’ve got better things to do than to text Niall about your plans for him, love,” Harry’s voice was a bit wry, and I sighed out in relief.

           “Thank you, Harold. You’re good to me.” I swept my arms around him and held him close, patting his back. I could sense the shit eating grin before I saw it.

           “I am, but you better be good to Niall, too, when you see him.” The innuendo was clear in his voice, and I didn’t feel guilty as I hauled back and smacked his arm again, ignoring his pouty whine after the fact.

           “Shut up, Styles, and take me to brunch.”

           The night of the concert arrived too quickly, and for some reason, I was nervous. I wasn’t sure why, either, since it’s not like I’m the person singing live onstage. Niall didn’t even know that I was coming, and might not even notice me at all, but for some reason I find myself dressing up in a form fitting black dress that goes down to my knees. “You’re dressing up too much for this,” I muttered to myself, but nevertheless, kept the dress on and matched it with some black flats. Like hell I was going to wear heels to a concert; I’m not that extra.

           I kept the makeup simple, and pinned my hair back in a bun. I looked at myself in the full-length mirror I had in my bedroom, and damn, I looked good. Fancy dinner good, not concert good, but it was too late to change, I had to get going if I wanted to get to the venue on time.

           Trying not to overthink, I headed out and got into my car, driving towards the venue. I made good time, and even managed to find a halfway decent parking spot. I walked briskly towards the arena, hoping to God that some of the more eagle-eyed fans wouldn’t notice me. I had been in the pop news sites before, and in some of the band’s pictures; heck, I had even received some death threats when rumors were circulating about Harry and I supposedly dating. I didn’t need anything like that to ruin my night.

           Once I got situated in my seat (orchestra seating; I did my time waiting for tickets just like every other fan), I sat book and took a quick selfie before posting it on Instagram. I wrote out a quick caption: Excited for the show! And tagged Niall in it. I figured he wouldn’t see it until after the show, anyway; he was probably warming up. Maren was due to start shortly.

           Though I wasn’t much of a country fan, I appreciated Maren’s performance and applauded her like everyone else. She was special in her own way; Niall wouldn’t have chosen her otherwise.

           Everyone in the arena was a bit of a nervous wreck waiting for Niall to take the stage. The mood was infectious; I could feel my heart pounding a bit faster in my chest, and I kept gnawing at my lip. I was just so excited to see Niall perform his solo material; he deserved the sun and the moon and the stars, this man. I had listened to his album over and over again in preparation for this night, but I was sure that recorded, it wouldn’t do him justice.

           The arena lights darkened, and the fans erupted into cheers. Niall strode out onto stage, grinning broadly, his guitar strapped to his chest. “’Ello!” He spoke directly into the microphone, his deep voice resonating throughout the stadium. It made my heart jump into my throat a little. He looked so gorgeous and at ease on the stage, a dark gray, long-sleeve shirt clasping to his body like a glove. For once, he wasn’t wearing a hat, and his dark hair shined a bit in the lighting. “Lovely crowd we’ve got here tonight, London! I’m pleased to see ya all here. And with that bein’ said, let’s get started.”

           Niall was pure energy on stage, though in a relaxed way. He constantly engaged with his audience, and crooned his songs like the best of them. Even from my seat, where I stood dancing and swaying with the other fans, I could see the sparkle in his eyes. He loved what he was doing, pure and simple. It was an incredible thing to experience; within the first seconds of his first song, I was swept away into the music.

           Towards the end of the show, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned back, startled, only to see a big, burly security guard. “You’ve been requested to come back.”

           Heart pounding in my chest, I followed him out of the crowd and towards backstage. There was nothing else I could do at this point in time. “Did Niall send for me?” I asked, a step or two behind the security guard. He nodded his head, but didn’t say anything else. He was probably annoyed at being sent out like that.

           He left me close to where Niall was performing, but still off to the wings of the stage, where no one from the audience would see me. Niall paused before his final song, and took a long sip from his water bottle, back turned to the crowd. As he spun around to face them once more, we locked eyes. I felt my lips part at the intensity of his gaze; it felt like he was staring right into you, holding you hostage with his eyes. And then the moment broke and he turned back to his audience. “It’s been an incredible night, London. We’re gonna close it out with a favorite of ours.” He grinned cheekily and then ‘Slow Hands’ began.

           I sang along, not able to help it. It was such a sensual song, and a favorite of mine. And Niall got into it, like really into it. There was even a moment where he almost did that crotch-grab he was so fond of in One Direction. But he didn’t do it, even though I was secretly hoping for him too.

           Watching him so closely had me feeling all kinds of things. I pressed my thighs together to ease the slight ache that was staring to build up from the sight of him, and mentally cursed myself for my own weakness. Niall doesn’t even like you that way, what are you getting horny for?! I screamed at myself, but it didn’t matter, because Niall wiggled his hips and I was gone. It didn’t help that I had a great view of his little peach bum from backstage.

           Niall was hot. That was simple, and I really didn’t need to go much more into it. He had changed physically in the years I had known him; he went from a cute boy to a sexy, handsome man, and I was into it. His shoulders had broadened out, his hips were still slim, and his brunette hair spoke to a certain maturity that hadn’t always been there before. Besides, the guy was confident with himself now – just look at his album cover.

           The show ended, and Niall and his band took a bow together, before roaming backstage, directly at me. My heart fluttered in my chest as Niall came straight up to me and wrapped me in those strong arms of his. “Love! Didn’t know you were coming, or else I would have gotten ya better seats!” I felt the scratch of his stubble against my jaw as he pressed a kiss to my cheek and took a step back and smiled at me. “I’ve missed ya.”

           Could he see how red my face was? My heart beat was in my ears, but somehow, someway, I still managed to smile at him. “I’ve missed you too, Niall. What an incredible performance!”

           “Yeah, it was alright,” he chuckled and scratched at the back of his neck. “Listen, I gotta help the band clean up, but I’ll take you to my dressing room and you can wait for me there, okay? We’ll hang out.”

           I nodded my head quickly. “Yeah, of course.” With that being said, Niall offered me his arm, and I tucked mine through his, grinning foolishly as he led me down the hall. He was so goofy; it was why I had fallen for him in the first place.

           Niall helped me get comfortable on a plush couch situated in the middle of the dressing room he was given, and then left with a few dozen promises of, “I’ll be back, love!”. I could have sworn I heard him call someone else a wanker as he left the room, his loud cackle echoing back to me.

           So. Here I was in Niall’s dressing room. This wasn’t really where I figured the night would go at all; I didn’t think he would know I had been there until after. I should have posted the selfie after the concert, he must have seen it and known I was there because of it.

           My mind wandered while I waited, legs crossed and hands clasped on my lap. I hadn’t seen Niall in quite a few months, since my job was centered in London, and Niall spent quite a lot of time in LA. With all of the album promo, he had been going all over the US as well. Not that we didn’t stay in contact; I had his number, he had mine, and in fact, we had talked a few days ago without mentioning his concert.

           There was a knock on the door and I jumped, standing up. “Um…come in?”

           It was Niall. “Hey,” he said as he popped in, grinning widely.

           “Why did you knock for your own dressing room?”

           He tilted his head to the side, thinking about it. “Dunno. Wanna come back to my place and have a drink with me?”

           That sounded wonderful, actually, and I nodded my head quickly. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

           Niall led me outside, and side-eyed me as we walked towards the stadium exit. “I’m assuming you drove here, yeah?” When I nodded my head, he stopped. “Well, I’m with the band, so my car is out back. I’ll walk you to yours and give you directions to my place, okay?”

           “Oh, Niall, you don’t need to walk me. There will be fans out in the parking lot, and they’ll see you and go mad.” And see me, I added in my head. That wouldn’t bode well for either of us. “Just give me your address and I’ll meet you there, okay?”

           Niall mulled it over and nodded his head. “Sounds good, yeah,” he said and I pulled my phone out, allowing him to type his address in. I had been to his London house once or twice, but not recently, so I definitely needed directions. I plugged it into maps, waved at him, and started off towards my car without looking back.

           Once I hopped in my car, I followed the directions my mobile told me, and arrived outside of his gate. Luckily, I had heard my phone chime with a text earlier, and as I had guessed, it was the gate key. I pushed it in and drove through the gates, parking out of the way so Niall could get in. At that point, I had beaten him somehow (London traffic was awful, so I was surprised we hadn’t arrived together), so there was nothing for me to do but stare out at his large, two-story house.

           It was elegant, and modern, and the landscaping was nice. I didn’t know much about houses, but even I could tell that this was a nice one, and right expensive.

           I heard the gates open behind me, and I turned in my seat to watch Niall’s Range drive in seamlessly. I got out, my flats crunching a bit on the gravel driveway. Niall got out as well and grinned that infectious grin of his, and nodded towards his front door. “Come in, would ya?”

           I laughed, smiling wide enough that my cheeks hurt. “That’s why I bloody came here, you daft moron.”


           Giggling, I walked up to his front door with him, watching as he unlocked the door. I kicked my shoes off and left them by the door, and watched as he took his own black Chelsea boots and neatly placed them in a row. Then he took my flats and placed them alongside his own. “Still anal as always, I see.”

           Niall flashed me a glare, before clicking his tongue. “I invite you to my home, and all you’ve done is insult me so far.”

           I shrugged. “You’re easy to insult.”

           Barking out a laugh, Niall shook his head, and padded off past the entranceway to the kitchen. “I’m grabbin’ a Stella. Want one?”

           “But of course.”

           I followed behind him, looking over his house. It was as neat as ever, carefully cleaned. Niall was a bit neurotic about his cleaning, something I discovered on tour. He was meticulously neat compared to the other lads, who were absolute disasters with someone cleaning up after them. Niall cleaned up after himself, kept his clothes neatly folded, and even bothered the others to do the same. Some things didn’t change.

           Niall popped the lid off and handed me the bottle, before grabbing one for his own. “How have you been?” He asked, eyes locked on mine as he took a long sip of his beer, Adam’s apple bobbing. Leaning against his counter, I updated him on my job and how our mutual social circles were. He listened, letting out a chuckle here and there at the stupidly ridiculous stories I told about our idiot friends. And he kept his eyes on mine the entire time I talked. It was a good feeling.

           “It’s good to see you,” I said later as we reclined on his couch, a couple Stella’s in. “Like, really good to see you.”

           Niall chuckled, eyes flashing at you from across the couch. You were both leaned against an opposite arm rest, his sock-covered feet bumping and rubbing against your own bare ones. “It’s really great to see you, love. I’ve missed ya.”

           “You’ve said that,” I replied, smiling as I bumped my toes against his.

           “Well, it’s true. You’re a good friend of mine, and – “ Here he paused and swallowed, eyes looking a bit conflicted. I sat up a bit more, interested in what he was cutting off. I bit at my lower lip, looking at him, my eyes a bit wide.

           “And what, Niall?”

           He let out a puff of air. “And nothin’. Just missed you.” He tossed a lopsided smile at me and then proceeded to tug at the fringe of his hair with his fingers, taking another sip of his Stella to cut his own sentence off.

           I narrowed my eyes at him. Something was definitely off. I lunged forward, pressing myself into his lap, my motions a bit sloppy from how tipsy I was. My face was inches away from his; I could feel his rapid breaths against my cheek as our eyes locked. There was a little alarm bell going off in my head – this was too close, I needed to back off, but I couldn’t do it. There was something delicious in this contact we had, in feeling his thigh pressed against my knee, how close our chests were to touching. How close our lips were to touching. “Alright, Horan, what the fuck is going on in your head?” I demanded, keeping my gaze locked on his.

           Niall bit at his lip, which I instantly hated him for, because it only drew my attention down to his very kissable, pink lips. Damn his lips. “Love…ya just don’t understand.”

           My eyes narrowed once more. “So make me understand.”

           Niall looked away from me at that point, and swallowed harshly. He leaned back a bit away from me, which stung a bit, but he didn’t seemed to have done it to get away. He had a thoughtful face on, his brows furrowed, though he looked a bit stressed at the same time. Finally, Niall looked back at me, his clear blue eyes connecting with mine. “I like you.”

           I sat back a bit, falling off of his legs and onto the couch, mostly from the drinks. “Of course you like me. You’re my friend.” Niall huffed out a sigh at my answer and pulled at his hair again, hard enough that I was briefly concerned that he would just yank it all out. He leaned forward, bunching his legs under him, and grabbed at my hand.

           “No, you daft moron,” he joked, bringing back my words from earlier, “well, yes, I like you as a friend, but I also like you…more than a friend.”

           It felt like my heart had just swelled in my chest and burst. This couldn’t be real. Niall…liked me? Like I liked him? How could this be real life? This was beyond my wildest hopes and dreams. Probably taking my silence as a negative response, he rushed on. “But if you don’t return my feelings, that’s okay, you’ll never hear it again from me and-“

           I cut him off by pressing my lips to his own. My hand cupped his jaw, fingers running affectionately against his skin. Niall was frozen for a moment, body tense, but then he relaxed under me, his arms rising up and around me, melding into me. His lips parted slightly, and I was home. That was honestly the way I felt as his lips moved with mine, as he explored me with the vigor I had always hoped for. It was everything.

           Moments or hours later, I pulled back, gasping for air with my cheeks aflame. Niall didn’t care, his lips simply reattached themselves to the skin of my neck, an open-mouthed kiss that went straight to my core. A rush of wetness suddenly flooded my panties, and I moaned aloud at the sensation of Niall’s teeth gently nipping at my skin. This man was getting me all riled up, but as I adjusted myself on his lap, I could feel his length starting to fatten up beneath me. Experimentally, I rocked my hips, and listened as Niall let out a quiet grunt in response. “Christ on a bicycle, woman,” he muttered.

           I giggled, pleased with the response, even as Niall pushed his hips against mine, needily rutting up into me. My body felt on fire; zips and licks of flame shooting from my toes, up.

           “I want you,” I leaned forward to whisper, nipping gently at his ear.

           “Fuck, darlin’, I want you to,” Niall replied, his fingers gripping tight into the flesh of my hips. I leaned forward to eagerly press my lips to his, but Niall leaned back away from me. Stung, I settled back away from him. His chest was heaving; he took a few steadying breaths to calm himself. When he looked at me, I could see his pupils had bled into the beautiful blue color of his eyes. “But…I don’t want to do this to ya.”

           Confused, I frowned at him. “What do you mean, ‘do this to me’? I quite want it, myself.”

           Niall sighed deeply and used both hands to rub at his face, a bit roughly. “I’m only in London for another day or two, and they’re both packed full of interviews and promo. I don’t think I can hang out with you, and I don’t want to fuck you and send you off with a ‘see ya later’. And we’ve both had a bit to drink, I don’t want ya to regret this. I want to do this properly, petal. I want to take you out on dates, kiss you in the moonlight, cuddle on the couch…but I can’t do that yet.”

           Understanding lit through me, and for some reason, it made my eyes water. I sniffled and leaned away. Niall practically flinched at the sight of my tears. “Oh, no, please don’t cry! I want you, I promise I do!”

           “It’s not that,” I hiccupped. Definitely too much to drink. “You’re just so…so sweet, and I can’t handle it!”

           Niall let out a deep chuckle at my explanation, and I felt the rough palm of his hand curl against my cheek. My eyes closed, and I savored the feeling of his touch on my skin. “Okay. When I come back, love, will you go out on a proper date with me?”

           My eyes flew open. “Of course! Niall, I nearly fucked you on the couch a minute ago, I’m not about to turn down a date.”

           A loud bark of a laugh worked its way out of his chest, and Niall’s head tipped back in pure mirth. I let out a laugh of my own, thrilled to chase such a reaction out of him. Not that it was hard; Niall laughed easily and frequently, even at himself. Especially at himself.

           “Proper date it is, then,” Niall chuckled out and I nodded, smiling widely with glee.

           I leaned in and pressed a kiss to his scratchy cheek. “It’s a good thing I came to your concert. It feels like this is the start of something more, y’know?”

           Niall’s responding smile was soft, his eyes crinkling a bit at the edges. His pupils had returned to their normal state; there was that beautiful, clear blue I loved. “I have to agree.”

Jen & Colin’s OUATSF Afternoon Panel Live-tweet Recap

(–italics are just extra tibits explaining my tweets – let me know if you want to know anything else!!)

Colin’s Solo Panel:

[x] when did Hook fall in love with Emma? @colinodonoghue1 “When he first saw her.”  #captainswan #OUATSF 

[x@colinodonoghue1’s hardest person to film a serious scene with is #joshdallas  #captaincharming #odallas #ouatsf

[x@colinodonoghue1 doesn’t really have many projects going on currently outside of #OUAT

[x@colinodonoghue1 thinks Emma and Hook should go to Hawaii for their honeymoon #OUATSF

[x] Colin is in rare form today 😂😂😂 super cheeky! #OUATSF

[x] Colin’s CS baby names (while under pressure): killian jr. or emma jr.  #OUATSF @colinodonoghue1 
— I say while under pressure because he was like “that’s a lot of pressure to put on me!” lmao

[x] Crossover? Once Upon a Hannibal  @colinodonoghue1 #OUATSF

[x] If not for emma, @colinodonoghue1 ships #captaincharming #OUATSF 
– he was like don’t tell Josh!

[x] He most relates to Henry because of his belief in trying to make the world a better place. @colinodonoghue1  #OUATSF

[x] POTC, Cars, Star Tours and GOTG are great rides at Disneyland - @colinodonoghue1 #OUATSF 
(he wanted to go on Haunted Mansion but he didn’t have enough time, was only there half a day.)

[x] "If you’re gonna do something do it right, do it 100%“ - words to live by from @colinodonoghue1’s mum #OUATSF

[x - has a video!] Season 1 cursed!Hook would run the fish and chip shop  #OUATSF
–and honestly I need this in fic form please

Jen & Colin’s duo panel (colin introduced her as his second wifey/tv wife)

[x] CS kids? yes! @jenmorrisonlive also approves of @colinodonoghue1’s names for them  #OUATSF

[x] If they had a choice to play any character: @colinodonoghue1 "I wanna be James Bond” @jenmorrisonlive “I wanna be James Bond, why not?" 

[x - has a video of the full response!!] Who’s your best friend on set? @colinodonoghue1 @jenmorrisonlive #OUATSF #brotp

[x] Colin and Jen once went to Starbucks and Colin was in full pirate-garb and no one said a thing  #OUATSF

Jen’s solo panel 

[x] Funniest CS moments? @jenmorrisonlive says Old Hook cracked her up and also having to climb the beanstalk with one hand  #OUATSF

[x] Tacos or pancakes?? Pancakes!!  @jenmorrisonlive #OUATSF
– she said something like “well my parents eat tacos… so I’m gonna say pancakes!”

[x@jenmorrisonlive’s vacation for Emma, Hook & Henry? Hawaii as well!!  #OUATSF

[x] What live-action Disney princess would @jenmorrisonlive want 2 play? it was Belle, but she also is a big fan of Little Mermaid. #OUATSF
– Jen would’ve loved to played Belle because she loves to read. But she said if Disney asked her to play any princess she would do it!

[x] Fave season 6 scene was Emma’s song as well as filming the #captainswan wedding  @jenmorrisonlive #OUATSF

[x] "For the first time in her life she feels like she’s in a safe place, [Hook’s] always by their side” - @jenmorrisonlive on Emma’s HEA
– she also continued… “and her family is by her side, and she’s happy” 

[x] Jen tries to keep keep hair and makeup to bare minimum if she can… sometimes her hair would take ~45 mins #OUATSF
– she would read while they do her hair, her makeup would take about 15 mins, but she doesn’t really like a whole lot of fuss.

[x - the video is kind of the end of it@jenmorrisonlive’s audition story for HIMYM
– She said she had did a video of her throwing pingpong balls as eggs and using a megaphone for her part of Zoey (who’s like this crazy activist chick and my fave of Ted’s girlfriends tbh) but the producers wanted to see her in person. Because she’s known for dramatic roles but she does have comedy chops. But the day of, she didn’t have a car, so she had to have a contractor/foreman drive her to this audition in his crazy lifted truck… with an eggcrate full of pingpong balls and her megaphone. And instead of inside a room where they were originally gonna meet, they met in a trailer. In the panel, Jen stood up to demonstrate how she auditioned for the part of Zoey on HIMYM by throwing ping pong balls (which were supposed to be eggs) and had a megaphone – all in the producer’s trailer – so a tiny space! XD

— edited to add in tweets I missed in my replies, oops!

Harry Styles - “Living the Dream” Part Three

Part One and Part Two

This is one of my favorite series’ that I’ve written. Enjoy part three! And thank you!

Your flight had come too soon. You’d packed up your suitcase after five wonderful days in France, watching Harry film everyday and then returning to the hotel for a wonderful evening together. The two of you had ventured out once for dinner but were basically mobbed and agreed that until the heat of your new relationship died down it was probably best to keep in private in much as possible. 

“Don’ leave.” Harry muttered, pulling you back over to the bed. His call time was later in the day so he was still in nothing but his boxers but you had gotten fully dressed, ready to meet the car that was surely going to pull up any minute now and take you to the airport. 

“Harry, I have to.” You tell him but allow yourself to be tugged under the blankets and held tightly against his tattooed and warm chest. You snuggle into his soft skin, breathing in deeply, taking in his so familiar scent. Harry’s cologne and shampoo was a smell you had grown to know and love over the last five or so years and it had always felt like home but it did even more so now. 

“Jus’ a couple more days.” And as his lips found yours, you knew you were about to cancel that car and plane ticket. 

You did eventually have to leave though. You had meetings and things to get to back in Los Angeles so it was finally time to bid him goodbye. The goodbye was drug out, slow kisses, whispered I love you’s, sensual touches along the others body. 

Eventually though he carried your bags down to the lobby and loaded up the car for you before right there in full view of the fans, who still crowded the hotel’s front door everyday but were thankfully being held back by security and hotel staff well enough, he pulled you against his chest and pressed his lips to yours. The screams intensified but you ignored them and kissed him deeply. 

“Meet you in LA.” You pull back to say, giving him a smile. Harry was finishing up filming soon so the two of you wouldn’t be separated for too long. 

“Let me know when you land.” He kisses you one last time before you finally climb into the car and it heads off for the airport. 

After Harry finished up with the movie and joined you back in LA, the two of you took to spending the night together at either his house or yours almost every night. The two of you had been extremely close and attached to one another while in the band but something had changed and it was a whole new need for the other. You knew it was being in the honeymoon phase and eventually wouldn’t be as strong but for the time being you made sure he was around you as much as possible and he didn’t mind one bit. 

“I’ll miss you.” You pout over at Harry as the two of you laid in your bed together early one morning. Harry was going to catch a flight later that afternoon, his manager and a few musician friends in tow, ready to seclude themselves in none other than Jamaica and get to work on his first solo album. 

“Well, if you didn’ have to go off bein’ your own solo rockstar you could have come with us.” You had just dropped your first solo song two days earlier and were in the midst of a whirlwind of interviews and promo. It was so exciting and different, being the only face to a song now - all attention was on you. 

“I’m gonna come visit in a few weeks, just don’t know when yet.” Harry catches your lips with his for a brief kiss before he pulls back with a sigh, pulling you tightly against his chest. 

“Bit strange, isn’ it?” You give him a puzzled look so he continues. “This solo thing. All of us doin’ our own thing. Louis has Freddie, Niall released his song, you got yours out there now too, Liam is workin on his and I’m about to go write an album - by myself.” You sigh, resting your head on his chest. He tangles his fingers with yours, absentmindedly playing with your fingers. 

“We’re just all doing what’s best for us. We were amazing together but just think with all five of us out there individually spreading our creativity.. the world isn’t ready for it.” He gives a low chuckle, his chest rumbling under your ear. 

“’m just glad I got to experience all tha’ with the band with you at my side and now even though we’ll be apart fo’ a few weeks, really you’re still with me again. Couldn’ do any of this without ya, really.” You lift your head up and smile down at him. 

“Well lucky for you, you’re stuck with me and will never have to do it without me.” He grins, his dimples making an appearance as he rests a hand on your cheek. 

“Good.” His fingers slide into your hair and his lips find yours. 

The time apart from Harry was hard but you facetimed with him daily, he played you bits of songs or sang you lyrics, even asking your advice for some kinks he was working through. You visited him for a week midway through his seclusion and he said it was exactly what he needed to relax and get back into a good head writing space. “Goin’ through withdrawals, I was.” He stated when you asked why he was having trouble writing there for a bit. “From what?” As soon as you’d asked him that the smirk on his face answered that. He didn’t even have to answer as he just pulls you down onto the bed, that was answer enough. 

“What are you going to do when the two of you are off busy touring? Before a tour meant the two of you were stuck together on a tour bus every single day but now… a tour for the two of you is two separate tours…” Anne had spoken these words to her son around the same time he’d come to visit, playing her and Robin his now finished album. You hadn’t accompanied him as you’d meetings, preparing for your album release in a few days, which Harry would be back in time for, of course. “You won’t be able to see each other much.” 

“We know that, mum,” Harry of course had thought about this, and often, especially as him and his management really got down to working on his tour. You had already worked out yours, having just announced it and it looked like none of your time off or dates corresponded with the other, yet. So far it would look like months between seeing one another. “We’ll make it work, we’ve waited this long to be together, we aren’ goin’ to let not seein each other every day ruin us. We’re jus’ making the most of what time we do have at home together until she leaves.” 

Once you did leave for tour though, it was hard. Harry was lonely, waiting for promo of his own album to begin, he spent his time in meetings or at home. He just really missed your presence. Sometimes, he really hated that the both of you were in the same career path. Of course, if you weren’t you never would have met, but being musicians meant your time at home was very limited. He’d gotten used to not seeing his loved ones often but not seeing you.. even while on tour you were a constant, always there beside him. And now you weren’t. It was a strange and foreign feeling to Harry and he hated it. 

You had purposefully made a few months break between legs of tour so that you could be home for Harry’s new song release and then the following promo up until the actual album drop. And having you back in his arms every night overshadowed any happiness he was feeling for the album. 

“I think one of us should quit our jobs.” He mumbles into your neck one night. Tomorrow was the day of his album release and you had yet to hear all of it, wanting to hear it along with the rest of his fans, anxiously awaiting the coming of solo Harry. 

“What?” You answer with a laugh. You’d thought Harry had fallen asleep. His head was buried in your neck, his breathing warming your skin, his arm was draped across your hips and his body basically consumed yours, his legs tangled with yours. You didn’t mind one bit. Your fingers brushed through his still short hair, though it was a bit longer now than it was when he was filming Dunkirk. He was talking about getting a trim soon though. 

“We’re apart too much.” He sighs, lifting his head to look down at you. It was dark in your room but you could still see, and basically feel, the sadness radiating from him. “I miss you so much.” 

“Harry, I’m right here though. I know I leave for tour again soon, and you leave for promo and then more promo for Dunkirk, but we’ve been making this work, haven’t we? We still always find our way back together, and we always will.” You seal this promise with a heated kiss to his lips and all conversation ends there. You feel his sadness wash out of his body as he consumes you, replaced with pure bliss and happiness. 

You went with Harry to Radio 1 the next morning, ready to listen to his album from start to finish as he debuted it on his best friend Nick’s breakfast show. As you listen to the songs, all of them where filled with such sadness, it seemed. Being alone, being hurt. It broke your heart. You hadn’t realized how alone Harry felt, how much sadness he truly had within him. Though when Sweet Creature was next, Nick asked who it was about and Harry simply looked over at you and smiled before shrugging and saying it was up to interpretation. 

Once you heard the words, ‘don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong’, ‘wherever I go, you bring me home’, you think you knew who it was about. Harry meets you eye and the two of you smile at each other. 

“Your album is lovely, Harry.” You tell him once he was finished with the show. The two of you stood in the front lobby, waiting for your car to pull around. He smiles at you, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Couldn’t have gotten through any of this without your support.” He presses a hard kiss to the side of your head before pulling back to smile down at you. “I really don’ know what the future holds for you and I but I know I’ll figh’ for us forever. You’re my home, my happiness, my love, and I can’ imagine my life withou’ you in it.” His words just about brought tears to your eyes and you reach up, taking his face in your hands and standing on your toes to reach your lips to his. 

“Lucky for you I’m not going anywhere,” You assure him when you pull back. “Even if we are far apart for awhile, just know you’re who I will always come back to. And the second you need me, I’ll be there - no matter what.” 

“I love you.” He presses another kiss to your lips before the car pulls up and your conversation ends as you head outside, walking past the fans waiting out front with a smile and a wave in their direction. By now everyone had gotten used to your relationship as in a two months it will have been a year since the two of you got together but they still were excited about it. Now though, the question moved from ‘when are you going to get together?’ to “when will you get married?’ Obviously that was no where near about to happen but you let the fans continue to dream anyway. 

Your life with Harry was everything you could ask for. You were happy and in love, as he was with you and really, that’s all that you needed. You were excited to see where the future did take you, what kind of life you would get to live with Harry, but for now you were perfectly content. 

here’s my experience at EVERY DAY6 concert in JULY (warning: long and all over the place

i got there around 20 minutes after lining up started so didn’t have to die in the heat for a long time 

(wanted to steal this after the show)

& when we finally entered the venue, i was stupid and chose the wrong spot (i was greedy and chose section A to get an earlier admission number -_-) because there wasn’t only one tall person in front of me but another tall person in front of me AND the girl next to me kept pushing so i had to pretty much tip toe throughout the entire concert to see brian  (so i couldn’t really see his hands fml) & wonpil.. but i was in the 4TH (?) row. and about 15 minutes before the show, a girl in section B fainted so if any of you are planning to go to a show in the future, please 챙겨 your 건강. 

the show started off with some space ship-like thing and they were all standing in the middle AND THEIR FACIAL FEATURES.. I WAS OF COURSE AMAZED BY BRIAN’S NOSE AND CHEEKBONES!!! and then they started off with colors like WHAT THE WHO EXPECTED THEM TO START THE CONCERT OFF WITH COLORS ??

let’s start off with jae. jae looks the same on screen and in person. i was actually surprised when he passed by cause i expected him to be extremely tall but he wasn’t that much of a giant i expected him to be. here’s jae & his arms: 

sungjin looked the same as well. his eyes are really big, and his double eyelids are so thick and prominent. 
dowoon also looked just like how i expected him to look ; same on screen and in person. he’s so cute i wanted to cry (i didn’t cry throughout the concert tho wow thanks for ya’ll prayers. i was sane) when he was talking with wonpil on stage. 

i was actually really surprised by wonpil. he’s 100000000X more handsome in real life and HIS HAIR WAS UP TODAY. like… he looked like a foreigner.. HE DOES NOT LOOK KOREAN IN REAL LIFE. I WAS ACTUALLY MESMERIZED BY HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE. 


I SAW HIM IN A WHITE SHORT SLEEVE WITH MY OWN TWO EYES AND NOT THROUGH A SCREEN. tbh i kept looking at his arms once they changed. 

and this is him getting choked up (really wanted him to just let it out). he said throughout the concert he got choked up so many times and almost lost it when we sang Hi Hello while waiting for them to come back out for the encore because the mics were probably still on & he heard us singing through his in-ear. 

of course there are no words to describe how amazing their vocals are. EVERY SINGLE MEMBER,  i repeat EVERY MEMBER has such distinct voices and are all great live including bb dowoon!!! he sang so much today & it’s pretty crazy how much he improved over such a short period of time and how well he sang during his 널 생각해 duet with wonpil. and i’ve said this the last time i saw them at kcon but wonpil’s voice is so strong and powerful. 
jae’s voice of course is so soft AND BRIAN KANG YOUNGHYUN .. i saw him nose scrunch .. NOSE SCRUNCH !!! (these pictures make it look far but i saw their expressions SO clearly) AND LITERALLY MELTED AND LOST IT RIGHT THERE WHEN HE SANG “MOVIE~” RIGHT BEFORE THE SECOND VERSE. BOY KNOWS THAT THAT LINE KILLS EVERYBODY (i think) BECAUSE HE SMIRKED AND HIM TUCKING ON HIS COLLAR AND TEASING WHEN WONPIL SAID IT WAS HOT SO THEY SHOULD TAKE SOME STUFF OFF but brian said he didn’t have anything underneath AND DURING HIS HUNT RAP AND if i remember clearly, HE GRABBED A FISTFUL OF HIS HAIR WHEN HE SAID “DISHEVELED HAIR” ……………… thinking about it again , i cry. 

i was second away from the fence so i got to see brian REAL CLOSE AND JAE AND WONPIL AND DOWOON and i touched wonpil’s hand AND I GOT TO WITNESS THIS SMILE RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY EYES (not my photo) 

HE WAS SO ADORABLE. he saw all the fans had their hands sticking out so he walked back and put the mic under his arm and ran between the fences.
and yes , i touched brian’s arm or shoulder in his WHITE SHORT SLEEVE !! 

they did so many short versions of their old songs but i think it’s been a while since they sang 이상하게 계속이래 which was a nice throwback & their unreleased song BUENO (which wonpil said was french …. lol) WAS SO GOOD and i recorded it cause i’m not sure when we’ll ever hear it again. BUENO was inspired by despacito lol. BUT RAPPER JAEHYUNGPARKIAN sjflksj both of them are so good but brian’s flow yo. 


THEIR NEW SONGS ARE BOTH UPBEAT but their side track ‘놀래!’ is more upbeat and LOT OF FALSETTOS TO LOOK FORWARD TO. brian’s bass riff in the beginning of the title track gives the song kind of a funky vibe. overall liked both songs (as always) but couldn’t really pay attention to the lyrics. 

also, nichkhun, shinee’s key, and actress nam jihyun came today. ALL OF THEIR FACES ARE SO SMALL (especially key) and apparently park jaejung, dowoon’s only celebrity friend, as he claims, came & when he introduced him, he wasn’t there so dowoon was all … slfjlksj my bb is adorbs. 

the fanchats, which i never practiced or looked at, just came out of my mouth naturally lol. the singing was pretty crazy as well and i was finally able to be a part of a ‘congratulations’ 떼창 and sing jae’s part for him.

i’m sure everybody has these moments at concerts where you think the singer looked at you but there was one time i waved to brian and he smiled THE FREAKING SMILE THAT I ALWAYS SAYS MAKES MY HEART FLUTTER FJSKLJ OK I’M CONVINCED THAT HE’S SEEN MY TUMBLR LOL JK BUT IMAGINE? THAT MEANS GOODBYE @YOUNGK. but there were many moments i felt like sungjin was actually looking at me and i got so fkjsd so looked away a couple of times … O K! shut up liz time to sleep 

oh and i waited with a few other people to see them leave but they left without rolling down the window but one member has his hand sticking out of the car and they just left like that so never figured out who that was lol but all i did was wave back.

there’s so much more that i want to say but there’s so much that went on that i don’t even remember and i’m so sore but STILL HAD A GREAT TIME,, thanks to the people who asked. 
i’ll be uploading a few videos & if you read all this, wow ily thanks. 


Party Girl ~ Shawn Mendes Imagine

I don’t know how I feel about this, so if it really sucks I am sorry I have just had a lot going on.

Thank you for this request, I have changed that she cheats on him because I didn’t really feel like it fitted sorry if this was what you really wanted.  

Request “Shawn and Y/N are in a relationship and he is on tour.  So, they fight, Y/N becomes a party girl.  She’s out every night at a different party, always drunk and hooking up with boys, she becomes almost an alcoholic, she uses alchol to escpae from her problems.  Shawn then finds her at a part and takes her home, they have another fight.”


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For most people, not seeing there boyfriend lasted only a few hours before they were in each other’s arms again.  But, this was not the case for you.  You had to wait months, maybe even a year sometimes before your boyfriend Shawn came back to you.  You did know this when you started talking to him, he told you it would be hard and if you did not want to be with his he totally understood.  This did not faze you, granted you have never had a relationship where the other person was not in reach to be with but the love you had for Shawn was something you thought would be able to get through anything. So, you continued to be with him.

But, that was at the beginning and having been with Shawn 2 years and only have spent 6 months of that time together did take a lot out of you.  He was once again on a tour, something he never seems to be off and if he was it was mainly spent getting ready for the next one.  You had tried your hardest, trying to cope with not having him there with you.  But, you couldn’t help but go back to your bad habit for rest bite from all that was happening in your head.  

Before you met Shawn, you were rarely sober, this was mainly because you were in college which led to you being invited to a lot of house parties.  This meant you rarely had a day away from drink of any kind.  This was until you met Shawn and all your time was focused on being with him.  Now having him being away from tour these cravings came back up.  You needed the sour but also sweet taste of burning alcohol down your throat and luckily for you it was not hard to find a house party, considering you were friends with a lot of people that either knew people who had them or had them themselves you were able to use this to your advantage.

You could not remember a night that Shawn had been away that you were sober, and you would not have had this any other way.  The pain you had before from not having Shawn with you had not passed your being for several weeks.  Your friends had worried for you, but knowing how you usually were when Shawn wasn’t here discarded it.  If you looked healthy they did not mind.  

So, like many days before you.  You were now in front of your bedroom mirror with a new dress on and ready for the new strangers that you were yet to meet.  Your dress a lot shorter than it should be for someone that was in a relationship, it was almost inviting which you did not mind.  You would never cheat on Shawn, knowing that would hurt you more than anything.  But, you did enjoy the looks men gave you, it was a good confidence boost.  Which you did need after being slatted by many news outlets.  

You collected your boots from your wardrobe and slowly slid them up your legs.  They were dark red, which complimented your complexion.  You grabbed your side bag and phone off charge before making your way towards the front door, making sure to grab your flat keys before heading out to the taxi which was waiting for you.  You did not even want to think of how much you had spent on taxis, knowing it would have been a small fortune.

The journey was not if you anticipated, and you were stepping out into the blistering cold.  You pulled your small jacket around you more before rushing up to the stairs and stepping in to the house.  You were shocked at how many people were here, when you got told it was a small gathering you did not expect to see what seemed like over a hundred people here.  Never-the-less you discarded your jacket in the pantry, and quickly making your way into the kitchen.  “Just what I need” you said aloud as you began pouring the vodka out into a red solo cup, you had not been to one party that hadn’t had these at.  Typical!

You took advantage of the free alcohol by filling your cup up a few more times before deciding to see if your friends had arrived.  You made your way into the living room taking in everyone’s faces, trying to see if there was anyone you recognised.  There was one, and you had mixed feelings on seeing him here.  You quickly moved to the garden for some air.  “Why is he here? When did he come back?  This honestly can’t be happening.”  All these thoughts ran through your head.  You knew you should be excited to see Shawn home, but not like this.  He knew about your past and you did not want him to see you and feel disappointed. You sat down on the only available chair and placed your drink down on the table which was associated in front of you.

You debated what to do, before deciding it was best if you left.  You did not want Shawn to see you.  He thought you had changed and the fact that all it takes is him to leave for tour for you to come back here.  It would just make him feel even worse for leaving you, better yet it would make you feel bad for taking him through this again.  You quickly booked your taxi and began to make your way to the front of the house.  He probably already knew you were here, he was probably thinking of ways to break up with you as we speak.  

These thoughts made you completely numb, a life without having Shawn with you is not one you want to think about.  And even thinking that you could have blew it by just coming to a stupid party made you feel sick.  “Y/N?” Shawn’s voice called from behind you calling you out of your other thinking.  You slowly turned around, silently praying that he would not be there when you had finally turned around.  Maybe the alcohol was playing mind tricks with you?  

You were very wrong, and as you cached a glimpse of Shawn’s face it was not a pleasant sight.  It was as though it was unreadable, and having been with Shawn this long you knew every look his perfectly structured face placed. But this one.  This one you had not had the displeasure of meeting.  “Y/N, what the fuck are you doing here?”  This shocked you, Shawn had rearly ever swore at you.  

“I was just coming to see some friends Shawn” you did not want to be the centre of attention at the party knowing if Shawn was any louder you would be. You turned back around towards the road hoping the taxi would turn up so you were able to continue this away from prying eyes.

There as silence for a few moments you thought Shawn had walked away from you.  That was until you heard a scoff behind you.  “Really Y/N?  Do you think I’m stupid or something?  You are so full of shit.”

This is what finally made you snap, you knew you had done wrong.  You knew Shawn should be upset with you.  But, to continuously undermine you was over the line.  “Shawn, do you not realise that I get it?!  I get that you should be upset, but it’s hard.  It’s hard not having you here for me and I am soooo sorry that me drinking to finally loose the feeling of missing you is that pathetic.  But, we aren’t a normal couple Shawn.  And that means you leave me, alone for months.  This is the only way that I forget how it feels to not have you here.  Not having you hurts Shawn.”  Tears began to fill up in your eyes as everything you had been trying to push away welled up inside you.  Everything was beginning to be too much.  This really was not how you wanted to spend Shawn’s first day back., but nothing ever goes your way it seems.

Your taxi pulled up behind you, which you slowly made your way towards until Shawn grabbed your arm and turned you back around.  You collided with his chest.  “I am so sorry Y/N.  I was being selfish and I did not think about your feelings.  But, baby you don’t need drink to make you feel whole without me. I am always here for you.  Always” Shawn wiped the remaining tears away from your cheeks as you hugged him tight.  Not wanting this to be a bad nightmare.  

As you both collected yourself you made your way home, somewhere that never felt like it without Shawn.  This night was never mentioned again, and you have never looked at alcohol again.  Not even without Shawn in your arms.  

anonymous asked:

could you give a description of all Brandon's characters in the new Killers music video?

Lmao okay so I did my best here. BUT this is definitely subjective and other people might be reading different things from them. This turned out way longer than anybody wants or needs it to be but oh well. See below the cut if you want to listen to me bullshitting.

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Niall Horan - Childhood Bestfriends - Imagine


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She’s Busy Hearing Voices

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Request fic for @geeksandfreaks6713. “Hey, I don’t know if you’re taking requests (if you aren’t I’m sorry to bother you!) but could you possibly do a gerard imagine where the reader is blind??”

You were awoken from a sound sleep by the sound of singing. You felt for your watch on the hotel nightstand, and pressed a button on its cold, plastic surface.

The time is now 3:15 AM, a familiar robotic voice peeped.

“What the fuck?” you whispered to yourself. You had no idea why anyone would be up at this hour, much less making music. You gripped your cane and rose, swinging it left and right to avoid running into the table as you put on your dressing gown and exited your hotel room.

You walked down the hallway, hearing the music get louder and more distinct as you drew closer to its source. Being blind your whole life had made your other senses very sharp, so, soon, you were able to pinpoint the room where the voice was emanating from.

You placed your hand on the doorplate, reading the Braille, which said, Room 1229.

You pressed your ear against the door, listening intently. From here, you noticed that the singer had a man’s voice – and that his voice sounded incredible. Despite the hour, you found yourself enjoying the melody as you listened to his song:

We’re not just dreamers

We’re the kind that comprehend

We gather up our forces

She’s busy hearing voices again

Pneumonic-screamers came to gather up our friends

If giving in is pointless, then get out of bed or this might be the end

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