i just need a picture to see what he looks like noe

anonymous asked:

Hello!! <3 Love your headcanons!! So could you do for rfa reacting MC drunk and not recognizing them? Like him trying to kiss her as always, but she walks away saying that she has a boyfriend and loves him? Lol Something like that..?? I think it would be cute and funny. haha >w< (Sorry for my bad english)

Your english isn’t bad, love. (who am I to judge, anyways?) 

Here it is! Hope you enjoy it! ^^


RFA with a drunk MC who can’t recognize them


Zen

  • You told him you were gonna be at this club and he should join you after work
  • So crowded! It would take so long to find you… oh, not really, there you are! You look so sexy dancing like no one is watching
  • But the thing is a lot of people, guys mostly, are watching. OH HELL NO!
  • “Hey, babe! I missed you!” he comes behind you holding your waist gently, and feels legitimately hurt when you pull away and nod negatively.
  • “Nah nah ni nah no, buddy! Not happening!” and you just… walk away! Why? IS he that late? He goes after you, noticing how much you’re bumping into other people…
  • “B-Babe? I’m sorry, I…” “I won’t say it twice, dude! I’m taken and you’ll back away if you know what’s good for you!” what? You’re not recognizing him? Maybe it’s the lights or the loud music?
  • Oh no, it’s not! He watches as you go the bar and look around squinting your eyes and frowning your nose, it’s so cuuuuttte! Also, it’s a very familiar sign that you’re very drunk, he knows that by now.
  • “Oh no… not you again!” “Hey, calm down! I’m… I won’t make any move, I’m just worried about you! Are you ok?” “I’m g-reat! Just waiting for MY REALLY STRONG, HOT AND FAMOUS BOYFRIEND THAT I LOOOVVVEE!” oh god… is it bad he thinks this is too charming?
  • “Oh… tell me more about him, then.” He manages to get close enough so nobody will try to approach you. “I’ll show you!” you pick your phone and scroll through all the pictures you’ve taken together.
  • “This is him during one of his musicals! This is him on his bike! This is him on piggy tails I did when he was sleeping! Isn’t he adorable?” he gags a little “Oh… I think… I think this wouldn’t be good for my… for HIS image, don’t you think?” “Nhaaa, this is just for fun! I won’t even show him! I care a lot about his image too, since I’mma be his manager one day, just you wait! “Oh,is that so?”
  • He convinces you to text your boyfriend, so he could answer he would be waiting you outside so you could take a cab. He doesn’t even mind your text makes no sense!
  •  “ZeeeNnNY! I missed you so much, you… should be proud of me! I acted all scary and made this guy back away! Are you proud, Zenny? Are you proud?” you shake him as you hug him when you go to him outside. “You have no idea how much, my princess.” He hugs you back
  • He hopes your hangover is not that bad tomorrow, as he really has some business matters to go over with you…

Yoosung

  • Although he’s the college student, you’re the one having the time of your life at this frat party.
  • He wasn’t that comfortable at first, but seeing you having so much fun made him loose it up a little
  • He’s wondering if the guys feel jealous when they see this goddess moving her hips so seductively and stopping all of a sudden to give him a little peck on the lips and a ‘boop’ to his nose…
  • But it’s been a while you’re not doing this anymore, you’re not even looking at him… you’re looking all around the place, except for him.
  • So he goes to you and touches your shoulder: “Are you okay, honey?” you look at him from head to toes and… turn your back on him. What?
  • “H-Honey! Did I do something wrong?” “Yeah, dude, you’re making a move on a girl who have a boyfriend!” “Well, yes… I’m the boyfriend!”
  • “Yeah, you wish, but sorry… it ain’t happening!” You scoff. He’s so shocked! Are you breaking up with him like this?
  • Oh, wait! He’d  seen your eyes like this before, you’re… drunk! Very drunk! Yes, your half-lidded tipsy eyes…  and you still manage to be beautiful…
  • “Hey, so uhm… are you Yoosung Kim’s girlfriend, by any chance?” “Yeah, why do you ask?” “Nothing, I recognized you from all the photos of you he shows, it’s… it’s nice to meet you in person! He talks a lot about you!” he tries to be friendly so you don’t run away.
  • “Pffffff, he showed photos of me? So embarrassiIIiiIng! I’ll tell him to stahp when I see him!” “Oh… Please don’t get mad! It’s just… just… he thinks you’re the most beautiful lady in the world, he… really really loves you… at least that’s what I heard from him.”
  • “Ahhhh, I can’t be mad at him!” you sigh dramatically. “He’s sOoOOOOOo amazing! And cool… and his hair is so badass, and we’re here just because I dragged him… and those cheeks nnnnnng” What about his cheeks? “I’ve gotta find my man!”
  •  “I.. I… s-saw him outside, next to the door, y-yes! Over there!” he needs to run before you get there, but he’s so flustered… well, that can wait!
  • “Yoosungiiiie! I’ve been looking all around for you!” you jump on him, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m sooooo sorry for dragging you here, next time we’ll stay at home and play LOLOL, pinky promise!” you tangle your pinky at his, seriously… how can you be so adorable? “Nah, I’m… I’m really having fun, MC!”
  • You two go home by foot and you keep snuggling at his arm the whole way. “Hey, MC?” “Hmmm?” “Do you… do you like my cheeks?” “Yep, especially on those jeans.”
  • It takes a while for him to get it, but when he does… he’s dead! Why would you talk about his butt to a stranger? I mean… it was him, but you didn’t know, yet it was him… should he get mad? Or embarrassed? Or…? Or…? ERROR

Jaehee

  • She meets you at the bar you two usually go together.
  • It isn’t that crowded but it is a little noisy, she’ll have to talk loud to get your attention.
  • “Hey, MC!” she greets. You look around frightened and look back to your drink… weird!
  • “MC?” she gets closer and touches your arm softly. “How… how do you know my name?” What? She looks at you, puzzled. “Anyway, I’m waiting for my girlfriend, don’t waste your time, lady!”
  • “Hum… MC, I’m…” “Stop stalking me, seriously, my girlfriend warned me about your type!” she’s still confused, but your face looks so funny, you are trying to look mad, but you can’t frown your eyebrows without blinking… so cute!
  • And by that she gets what’s  going on, that and the three martini glasses next to you…
  • “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, I was just curious… where did you buy that dress?” “My girlfriend got me, it’s her favorite color in the whole wide worrlllld!” “I see…” she wants to laugh so much.
  • “Well, she must have a good taste!” “Yep, she used to walk around only on a dull suit because of her asshole former boss! He’s my friend, so I’m allowed to tell him he’s an asshole… actually, I… I should tell him right now!” you pick your phone.
  • “I… I don’t think that’s a good idea, miss…” “Shhh, he needs to know he can’t be an asshole to my cookie! She’s  a-ma-ZING!!! That potato needs to know that!” Cookie? Potato? You’re killing her with your drunk cuteness, but she can’t let you do something stupid!
  • “I… I’m sure your girlfriend already knows how amazing you think she is, you don’t really need to… tell other people!” “Ugh, that’s right! Why she doesn’t let everybody know how great she is? I shoudn’t be the only one to see it, y’ know? I’m… I’m a potato just like Jumin Han… I already told him that twice this week!” Forget that you’ve been drinking twice this week and calling Jumin to cuss him, what matters now is… YOU’RE POUTING! Oh my god, so adorable…
  • She can’t keep up with this anymore, she needs you to recognize her right now! So she walks away and calls you, telling she’s waiting for you outside to come home.
  • “Yay, Baehee is here!” you run to her and give her a sweet peck on the lips, she grabs your hand and leads you to the cab.
  • “So… MC, have you been talking to Jumin lately?” “Wh-Who? Me? Noooo, noe, maam’!” you are a terrible liar when you’re sober, just imagine when you’re drunk. She’ll make you apologize for being such a potato, but that can wait…

 

Jumin

  • “Jumyinh, I amm at this gui haus, but he is coooooooooooolll, don’t worry!” he tries to decode your text. Why are you texting him when you are under the same roof?
  • “Where are you, MC?” “@ his bathroom, it’s bigr than my house” what kind of joke is that? You were drinking wine with him a couple of minutes ago and excused yourself to go to the bathroom…
  • “look @ this soap! So funny!” you send him a blurred picture, oh… so that’s how it feels to get one of these! He gets it now!
  • He goes to the bathroom and knocks at the door. “I’m not opening! My boyfriend won’t like it!” and then his phone buzzes. “looks I been caught” and you send a selfie, it’s not blurred and he can see the huge blush on your cheeks, oh… you’re so drunk right now, aren’t you?
  • You call him, he answers a little reluctantly. “Yes, kitten?” you giggle “Jumin, this guy called me kitten too, but don’t worry! I told him to back off!”
  • “What could you possibly be talking about, MC?” “I don’t remember coming to this party, so I won’t let the bathroom until you come to pick me up! You… you can track me by… GP and S, right?” not even him believe he’s really laughing at this. “Yes, I’ll come to you, my love, just wait!”
  • He knocks at the door. “Are you okay… miss?” “Bro, I already told you! I have a boyfriend and we gonna marry soon!” “Oh, I see… did he propose to you?” “Not yet, but I found the ring on his closet!” uh oh… surprise ruined for both of you. “But I’ll look very surprised, cause I know the proposal is going to be suuuper special, like on a colorful hot air balloon or something like this…”
  • He opens the bathroom door and almost falls due to the way you jump at him, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I missed you so much! Is the party over?” “Yes, it is. Shall we go home so you can rest, my angel? Tomorrow will be a very busy day…” “Really? Why?” “Just wait and see.”
  • As soon as you doze off, he calls Jaehee telling there will be a change of plans, he needs to rent a hot air balloon asap!


Saeyoung

  • “Oh my God, Saeran! Don’t you have any respect for your brother’s girlfriend?”you got out for a couple of drinks with your friends and got back swearing the one standing in front of you is your brother-in-law, not your boyfriend!
  • “MC, it’s me! Look at my glasses!” “No! You two are not pulling this prank on me again! It didn’t work last time and it won’t work again now!” when you’re sober, you can tell who is who very easily, even when they change their outfits. But right now…
  • “MC, Saeran is sleeping right now!” “Well, MC thinks talking in the 3rd person is ridiculous!” Oh lord… shouldn’t he be recording this?
  • “Please, come with me, I’ll help you take a shower and put you to bed…” “Saeran! Would you really do that with your brother? No… no… you’re so nice, and he’s so nice! He doesn’t deserve this!” you look so shocked and disappointed, he’s feeling bad for you as if this was true.
  • “Saeyoung loves us both very much, Saeran. We can’t hurt him, NEVER! He deserves only happiness from now on! Seriously, I… I was going to say yes to moving in together,  but I won’t do it if this is how you’re gonna act around me!” wait! Are you serious?
  • “Oh… so you actually considered it?” “Yes… but I can’t do this if you keep hitting on me!” okay, joke’s over!
  • “I’m sorry, MC. Saeyoung told me if I acted like this, you would buy it, that idiot! But it’s impossible to trick you! I’ll… I’ll call him back, okay?” you sigh in relief, and it’s so cute!
  • He goes to the hallway yelling to Saeyoung to come out, turns around and goes back to you with a big smile, you smile back and open your arms, waiting for a hug. “Stop doing these silly pranks, what if one day I really mistake you two?” you ask over his shoulder
  • “Yes, I should start being more mature if you’re going to move in with us.” “I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet, Saeyoung!”
  • But you said yes during the shower you shared the next morning


You can see Saeran and V here ~

I just needed to rant about Karamel a bit so...

That first moment Mon-el arrived on the show, I knew what was going to happen. I know they were going to pair him with Kara. Say what you want, but I knew. I’ve seen it before, on so many shows it’s unbelievable. The white, male love interest seems to be the standard for ruining good, family shows like Supergirl and Once Upon a Time.

Keep reading

Odds, Chances & Probabilities

Summary: After almost an entire year of loves-me and loves-me-not between Archie and almost every eligible girl in the town, he settles for Betty. It’s time to confess to their friends and they’re preparing for the worst but, little do they know - Veronica and Jughead already have something of their own.

Rating: T

Genre: General, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Romance

Pairing: Jughead x Veronica, Archie x Betty

Timeline: Post season one

Word count: 1,618

“Oh, God, Archie - we need to tell them.”

Think about your best friend falling on love with you, right after you’ve fallen out of love with him. Think about you going on-and-off with a very nice boy, who just isn’t your best friend. Think about your best friend going on-and-off with a very nice girl, who is your other best friend.

Then think about falling in love with your best friend all over again and think about him falling in love with you at the same time.

Just think about it. What are the odds?

Keep reading

What went down in Gamer
  • INTRO SEQUENCE
  • Marinette: dear diary, here's a description of some events that would have definitely been pretty cool to see
  • Marinette: but eh I guess there's no need to show that
  • Tikki: this isn't supposed to be a webisode so you'd better go do something now
  • Marinette: *goes to school*
  • Marinette: ok where is everybody
  • Alya: we're in the library preparing for the Super Smash competition that everybody knows about but you
  • Marinette: sounds contrived but okay
  • Alya: and if anybody beats Max they get to team up with that hot guy for the tournament
  • Marinette: MAX I WILL CRUSH YOU SO HARD THE SOUND OF YOUR DEFEAT WILL ECHO THROUGH THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE SO THAT
  • Alya: why do I open my mouth ever
  • Marinette: THE FAR OFF WASTES OF THE KLAATU NEBULA THEY WILL FEEL THE MOMENT OF YOUR
  • Adrien: can I maybe forfeit my position in the tournament
  • Mr. Damocles: nope
  • Marinette: WILL RIP THE CONTROLLER OUT OF YOUR HANDS AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR
  • Max: just take a controller and sit down please
  • Marinette: right gotcha
  • Max: you do actually know how to play this game right
  • Marinette: come on what do you take me for
  • Max: somebody who'd 100% be willing to enter a tournament for a game she knows nothing about if it would mean being with Adrien
  • Marinette: fair
  • Marinette: but I actually do know how to play this game
  • Max: oh noes
  • Marinette: *beats Max*
  • Max: that was it?
  • Max: with all that buildup I was expecting more echoing defeat and controller shoving
  • Marinette: don't tempt me
  • Max: yeah gotcha
  • Max: anyways imma go get akumatized now
  • Adrien: are you really just gonna let him
  • Marinette: yeah now come to my house
  • Adrien: Mr. Damocles this is terrifying
  • Adrien: is there really no way out of this situation
  • Mr. Damocles: nope
  • Hawkmoth: Gamer, the situation may not have turned out in your favor
  • Hawkmoth: but from now on you and I will be playing this game by our own rules
  • Max: nope sorry but playing with a modified system results in an automatic ban from participation in all future tournaments
  • Max: if we're doing this we're doing it properly
  • Hawkmoth: so you'll have to kill a bunch of people to level up before you can get a giant robot?
  • Max: yep
  • Hawkmoth: and if Ladybug and Chat Noir take you down
  • Max: they get their own giant robot, yes
  • Hawkmoth: will this result in more meaningless destruction
  • Max: probs
  • Hawkmoth: ok fine you've sold me
  • Max: great
  • Marinette: anyway Adrien welcome to my house and to my room where I definitely don't have 20,000 pictures of you
  • Adrien: eep
  • Tom and Sabine: *ship Adrienette*
  • Adrien: ok but can you not
  • Adrien: like it's clearly the most unhealthy pairing in the love square
  • Adrien: which is actually saying quite a lot
  • Adrien: it really could only ever work out if Marinette learned the difference between attraction and obsession
  • Sabine: shush it's an adorable pairing
  • Adrien: as someone who's literally part of that pairing I can attest that it defs isn't
  • Tom: do you want some food
  • Adrien: OMG YES PLEASE
  • Marinette: coolio let's eat it at the park
  • Adrien: disclaimer: the fact that I am eating croissants at a park with you is in no way a sign of interest, romantic or otherwise, in anything besides this delicious food
  • Marinette: yes please eat more of the food you look beautiful when eating it
  • Adrien: you're really starting to scare me Marinette
  • Gamer: AND SO AM I
  • Marinette: eep it's a giant robot!
  • Gamer: SEEK LOCATE DESTROY
  • Adrien: oh come ON that's such a blatant ripoff
  • Gamer: OBEY SUBMIT CONSUME
  • Adrien: rly is nobody gonna call him out on this
  • Marinette: we're running away now
  • Adrien: right
  • Marinette: oh and here have this charm bracelet
  • Adrien: wot
  • Marinette: look it's probs gonna be important or something
  • Marinette: I had to shoehorn it in somewhere there
  • Adrien: wait this robot is the perfect excuse
  • Adrien: *runs in the opposite direction*
  • Marinette: oh no he's gone
  • Marinette and Adrien: *transform*
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *fight the robot*
  • Gamer: *levels up*
  • Ladybug and Chat Noir: *ollie outy*
  • Ladybug: what if we take him to the stadium where the tournament's happening
  • Chat Noir: so he wrecks it and gets the tournament cancelled?
  • Chat Noir: yeah I'm very down with that idea rn
  • Ladybug: I just meant it would get him out of a crowded area
  • Chat Noir: oh right that
  • Ladybug: *arrives at stadium*
  • Chat Noir: *arrives at stadium*
  • Gamer: HEY GUYS
  • Chat Noir: oh no
  • Gamer: EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMIN—
  • Chat Noir: yeah screw that
  • Chat Noir: *cataclysms*
  • Gamer: you may have destroyed my robot
  • Gamer: but you will be shocked and awed by my secret scheme
  • Gamer: where I will restore my robot from a save—
  • Ladybug: *punches Gamer in the face*
  • Gamer: wait I wasn't finished monolog—
  • Ladybug: oh hey I broke your glasses
  • Ladybug: and there goes your akuma
  • Gamer: so you won't get to pilot a giant robot then
  • Ladybug: WHAT
  • Ladybug: wait little butterfly come back here!
  • Gamer: it's not coming back
  • Ladybug: well maybe if it copies itself and affects thousands of people then I'll get to have a giant robot?
  • Hawkmoth: yeah nope
  • Hawkmoth: I am not filling Paris with thousands of giant robots
  • Hawkmoth: even I'm not that stupid
  • Ladybug: dammit
  • Ladybug: bye bye little butterfly :(
  • Chat Noir: don't worry, you two can still get to kick butt in the tournament
  • Chat Noir: (Max, help me out here pls)
  • Max: yes, the tournament that you and I will defs be the two participants in and Adrien won't
  • Ladybug: I WILL KNOCK IN THEIR TEETH AND RIP OUT THEIR
  • Max: perfect! that's the spirit! we are totes gonna win
  • Chat Noir: phew, I thought I'd never escape
  • ROLL CREDITS
Seth Rollins x Reader

You and Seth are expecting your first baby. You are due any day now and he is home from his wrestling tour to make sure he doesn’t miss a minute of your child being born. 

You wake up in the middle of the night yet again with the urge to pee. You sigh and sit up on the bed causing your husband, Seth Rollins, to stir. He rolls over and rubs his eyes before he looks up at you. “Are you okay?? Is it time??” His eyes open wide at the thought of you being labor. “No. Its just another trip to the bathroom… Your child likes to use my bladder as a pillow.” You spit back with the annoyance of not being able to get a good nights sleep anymore. Seth laughs a little and helps you swing you legs over the side of the bed and then stand up. He sits on the side of the bed to help you lay back down when you are done. You waddle to the bathroom running your fingers through your hair in frustration. 

You finish your business in the bathroom and look in the mirror and sigh at the sight of yourself. Your hair a complete mess and eyes accented with a nice pair of dark circles. You turned to the side to see your huge stomach in all its glory. It still blew you mind to think that there was a little baby inside you. You brush your bed head out and then make your way back to the bedroom. Seth had fallen asleep waiting for you to come back. You took sometime to just watch him sleep. He looked so peaceful and relaxed… It made you so mad at the moment because you would love to be able to sleep like that. Why did the baby have to take after you and be so stubborn??

The next morning while you are putting on your makeup for the day you notice that your back is hurting a little bit more than usual. You thought nothing of it and just shrugged. You finished up your hair and make up and made your way down the stairs and into the kitchen where Seth was having his morning coffee and checking his twitter. He sees you walk in and immediately gets up and walks over to you. He kisses your forehead, lips and then baby belly. You smile wrap your arms around him. He holds you tight and places his chin on your head. He sighs and pulls back to look at you. “I love you (Y/N) and our precious baby. I am so lucky to start a family with you and to have you both in my lives for the rest of my life.” You smile and kiss him on the lips again tasting his coffee. “I love you.” You two sit together and have breakfast while talking about the tasks you needed to get done today.

After a long day of errands and accompanying Seth to the gym (You sitting down at the front desk with the “extended” family as you called them. Everyone that works at your local gym knew you both personally and treated you like family.) you and Seth are sat together in the living room cuddled up and catching up on you favorite shows. He falls asleep with his arms around your waist as you finish the episode you were watching. You go to reach for the remote when you feel a sharp pain in your stomach causing you to yelp. Seth jerks awake and sits up alarmed. “What?? Whats wrong??” he starts blurting out in shock. You wince and sit up. “I don’t know I just had a pain in my stomach and…” Another hits you. “Oh my gosh you’re in labor!!” Seth yells and bolts from the couch running up stairs before you can say anything else. He returns to the living room with your bags that were already packed for this very moment. “Seth we don’t know for sure it could just be a random pain.” You wince and yelp again as another pain hits but more toward your back. “I think you’re in labor (Y/N).” He walks over to you and helps you stand up his arm around you kissing you on the forehead. “Call it a fathers intuition.” You roll your eyes and smile. Seth places his hand on your stomach. “Just think the next time we are in this house we will be carrying in our child.” 

After you two get settled into you room at the hospital your contractions really start to begin. You lay in the hospital bed breathing through the pain while Seth is beside you looking terrified. He hates to see you like this and wants to make all the pain stop. He almost cries a few times but blames it on you squeezing his hand. “You are so brave (Y/N) you know that right??” He says as you finally get a break in between contractions. You give him a funny look. “You are handling his like a champ. No drugs or anything. You are a fighter and I am so proud to call you mine.” He kisses your forehead and lips. You smile and start to say something but another contraction hits causing you to fight back a scream. Seth continues to hold you hand and kiss you during the next 10 hours of labor.

It was finally time to push. Seth pulled your hair back into a pony tail for you and kissed your forehead yet again. “Babe I know this is tough and that you have been through over 12 hours of this but just think in just a few pushes you get to hold our baby and it will be all over.” He takes your hand and stands beside you. You push and fight back more screams. After 10 mins of pushing and Seth being in you hear encouraging you you finally did it. You heard the cries of your baby girl. You lay your head back on the pillow going limp. Finally it was over. Seth cuts the cord and you look over at him. He is in complete awe. You wish you had a picture of his face right now. Mouth open eyes wide. If you had the energy you would laugh. The doctors bring you baby girl over to you all cleaned up. She looks like a perfect little porcelain doll in her soft pink blanket. Her little eyes shiny with her first tears. You kiss her little nose and wipe away a few of your own tears. Seth wraps an arm around you and sits beside you as much as he can on the bed. He looks down at his baby and fights back tears. The tears win the fight and he pets her soft newborn hair. “She is so perfect. Her little hands and her little ears. Oh my gosh her nose.” He kisses her on the forehead and her little noes scrunches up at the feeling of his beard on her skin. You two laugh and kiss each other.

Later that night you wake up in the hospital bed after many hours of that deep sleep that you have been longing for. You look over to find Seth holding his baby in his arms talking to her in a soft voice as she sleeps. Both his arms wrapped protectively around her. You knew right then that she is going to have the hardest time ever doing anything because Seth is going to keep her on the shortest leash. You smile to yourself and just watch them for a while. Your perfect little family. Your perfect little world. 

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades Freed (part 3/?)

1. You guys, I’m only on page 85 what is this
2. Reading this is worse than suffering through math in high school, while watching the clock and seeing that only 1 minute has passed, instead of 30 like you had been hoping
3. In layman’s terms, it’s torture
4. Author has the urge to always describe the clothes that the characters are wearing. How do I tell author that I don’t give a shit
5. So this is why this book is 500 pages long. This explains so much
6.We’ve had a blissful honeymoon. With a few ups and downs, I admit, but that’s normal for a newly married couple, surely?” – whatever helps you sleep at night, Ana, lol
7. THESE BOOKS ARE SO REPETITIVE I AM ANGRY
8. HULK MARY SMASH
9.My subconscious glares up at me over her half-moon spectacles, distracted from volume two of the Complete Works of Charles Dickens” – having someone read much much better books that the ones you’re writing doesn’t earn you points with me, E.L.James. Also, it does not make you look smarter, in case you were wondering.
10. THESE PEOPLE ARE INCAPABLE OF HOLDING A CONVERSATION IN WHICH ONE OF THEM DOESN’T: - get annoyed, get frustrated with the other, worry that they might have upset the other, assume that they said something offensive, outright fight. It’s fucking annoying and frustrating. But yet, the author tries to sell this as a perfect, amazing, beautiful love story

11. Nope nope nope nope I am not falling for this shit E.L.James
12.Shit, I am up and down today. What’s wrong with me?” – I FUCKING BET ANYTHING RIGHT NOW THAT SHE’S PREGNANT. DON’T ASK ME HOW I KNOW. But it’s exactly the drama a writer like this would throw into a story.
13. MARK MY WORDS.
14.I am going to take you to the boathouse and finally spank you in there if you don’t snap out of this mood” – heaven forbid Ana has a bad day, I mean, Christian is such a sensitive little duckling, everyone must please him at all costs
15. I cordially invite you to go fuck yourself, Christian
16. OH NOES Someone is following them.
17. I’m looking for my care boat, but it must have sunk.

18.We’re right behind the unsub, Mr. Grey.”
Unsub? What does that mean?
“ - really, Ana, haven’t you ever watched an episode of Criminal Minds? Also, lol at the attempt to make this intense and mysterious
19. This has been the most underwhelming car chase scene in the history of the world.
20. Car sex, because that’s what people want to do after having been followed and chased.
21. Rough sex, because Ana is super into this right now, apparently. Even though she was a virgin 3 months ago. And I like how this is painted like: eveeeeeryone is into this type of sex if they gave it a try. I feel nauseated.
22. If I scrape my retinas, will it hurt?
23. Asking for a friend
24. Why do they keep addressing each other as Mr. Grey and Mrs. Grey. Why. WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME, E.L.JAMES. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS
25. Seriously though, you guys don’t realize how fucking annoying this is.
26.My subconscious gazes up from volume 3 of The Complete Works of Charles Dickens and glowers“ – repeating this over and over again will not make me think it’s actually super clever and smart and go you, author! No. It’s just as shitty this time as it was the first time I read it.
27.Mrs. Grey—I didn’t see you there.” Oh, I’m Mrs. Grey now!“ – you’re??? Married??? To??? The??? Dude??? You’ve ??? Literally??? Been ??? Calling??? Each??? Other??? That??? For??? 125?? Nausea-inducing??? Pages???
28. Fuck my life. Just fuck it. THIS BOOK IS SO STUPID

29. Well, well, well, the dude that set fire to the server room or whatever the fuck caught fire is Ana’s former boss. You know, the one who assaulted her. And got fired.
30. Are we supposed to be shocked about this? No really, are we? Because it’s the most underwhelming reveal in the history of books everywhere.
31. Ana (about their future house): “I kind of like it the way it is,” I whisper. Is this going to make him mad?“ – well, hey, you’re having an independent thought, I mean, he might surely get mad, but you loooooove him so that makes everything a-okay *shaking my head*
32. Christian is shocked and appalled that Anastasia has kissed someone else except for him in her lifetime. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
33. Dry humping
34. No more dry humping
35. They’re fighting again hahahahahahahaha I cannot with this book
36. But how can these people have so much sex, I mean, they’re doing each other almost 24/7
37. I’m all for sex, but this is fucking unrealistic
38. Of course they’re going to fight over her decision to keep her name (Steele, instead of Grey) at work. Of course. Because she wants to do something that he doesn’t approve of. I swear this book is an insult to everyone and everything.
39. He legit came to her office over this. And now is addressing her as Ms Steele. OH. MY.GOD. The lengths this author would go to in order to fabricate drama. Fucking hell. Someone end my misery.

40.Please—don’t tell me you have interrupted your day after three weeks away to come over here and fight with me about my name. I am not a freaking asset!“ – yes he did and yes you are, to him. Seriously, girl, what book have you been reading?!
41. HOW PEOPLE THINK THIS IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP IS BEYOND ME
42.I like to make the odd impromptu visit. It keeps management on their toes wives in their place. You know.” – FUCK YOU, YOU ARROGANT DICK WAFFLE
43. AHAHAHAHAHA SHE HURT HIS FEELINGS, HE THINKS SHE’S ASHAMED OF HIM AHAHAHAHHAHA NO
44.his control freakery, his stalker tendencies gone mad, given completely free rein because he is so wealthy” – The prosecution rests its case
45.I want your world to begin and end with me” – cause that’s healthy as fuck, sure, Christian
46.I suffocate you?” – welcome to reality, Mr. Grey, here is an update on world history up until this point, you’re welcome

47. I’m crying he’ll be giving her the publishing company in a year’s time she didn’t know skype was a thing up until a week ago and in the first book she wondered how pictures got on the internet or some other shit like that
48. Fuck off E.L.James
49. And now she agreed to change her name I give up
50. And now she’s mad at him and they’re fighting again I swear to cow

51. These people are infuriating
52. I need a fucking break and copious amounts of wine

Part 1  Part 2

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades of Grey

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades Darker

Taeyong- We Don't Talk Anymore (Angst)

Word count: 1,910

Scenario: You haven’t seen Tae in a really long time and you’ve been questioning your relationship with him. *kinda inspired by We Don’t Talk Anymore- Charlie Puth and Selena Gomez*


“Hey Tae…ugh if you could kinda just text me or call me back soon that would be great. Well I’ll go now just text me when you get my message. Bye, love you.”

That was the third voice mail today.

He never picks up. He never sends a text. He never really does anything anymore to communicate with you. He just slowly pushed you away, then all at once.

You put your phone down and take a sip of your coffee as you wait for your best friend to get their order and take a seat with you. You were happy she called you and asked to hang out. You hated staying in the shared apartment you owned with Taeyong. It was just so lonely there-especially since he hasn’t been home in almost three months.

Hani sits across from you and places her Americano on the table, “Oh that’s hot!” she hisses as she takes a sip from her cup.

You lightly chuckle at your best friend and push some napkins towards her to clean up the little spill she’s made on the table.

You look down at your hands, they nicely sit on your lap and you hold a picture of you and Taeyong. It was kinda dumb, but you liked to carry around a picture of you and him in you pocket. It helped calm you down made you less anxious. A small smile etched on your face as you admire the photo.

“So,” she hums looking at you with soft eyes “how are you?”

You shrug and secretly stuff the photos back into your pocket. You stare out the window watching passing strangers make their way to their destinations. You can’t help but receive a chill when Hani asks you how you are. Another question you’d have to answer with a lie.
“Fine.”

Hani scoffs. You watch as she crumples a napkin and lightly toss it at you, hitting you on the forehead and landing on the table.

You jerk back, shocked by her sudden playfulness “What was that for?” you whine.

“For lying to me! Tae hasn’t called you hasn’t he.” she infers. God, you hated that Hani was so good at guessing how you were and what was up. She always knew when something was wrong. She raises a brow and await for your answer, her finger nails drumming on the wood table.

You nod slowly and your throat suddenly knots and it’s hard to speak.
You look out the window again and watch as the snow lightly falls from the sky. Dancing through the light wind and landing on the ground or on the coats of passing people.

“Y/N why don’t you just let it go?”

You look up at her confused. Taking another sip from your coffee you gulp down the hot substance and clear your throat “W-what do you mean by that.”

Hani sighs and she places her hand over yours, that wrests on the table “Y/N, I’m your best friend and as your best friend, I always want the best for you. I hate seeing you sad and upset over some boy who won’t even call back his said girlfriend.” She explains slowly, trying to find the right words. She lets out another sigh “I-I don’t like seeing you like this. You’re the one who always tries to text him and call him and yet he makes no effort to pick up the phone. I don’t like seeing you so drained and so tired over some boy.”

You huff and your face resembles a pouting child “B-But Hani it’s not just some boy, it’s my-”

She cuts you off and puts her hands up “I know. Your boyfriend. But if he’s not gonna put any effort into the relationship then why should you keep trying. Y/N, come on admit to your self, has he been acting like a boyfriend?”

You shake your head no and you can feel your heart drop when you admit it to yourself. Hani is right Taeyong hasn’t been there.“Then exactly.” Hani says as she rests her case and sits back on her side of the booth.

You can’t help but think that what Hani says is true. Why should you waist your time on a relationship that has only one sided effort?

You’ve just become so tired and drained over time, that maybe now is the time you’re giving up.

Hani looks up at you expecting you to say something. You take a deep breath and with a heavy sigh you admit it “Taeyong and I-we don’t talk anymore.

*later that night*

“Taeyong,” Jaehyun whines “just call her!”

Taeyong shakes his head and shrugs “I-I don’t know. She might be upset with me.”

Mark chuckles “Well I wonder why?”

Taeyong glares at him and throws one of the couch pillows at him “Not. Helping.”

Mark successfully shields himself from the pillow and roles his eyes “Hyung, I respect you and all but you really haven’t been a good boyfriend. You haven’t called her in what…two- three months?” Taeyong sits back in his spot on the couch and huffs. He reaches into his pocket and a small smile appears on his lips as he looks at a picture of you and him.

He mentally scolds himself. God,he knows he’s been such a terrible boyfriend.
He looks over at his phone and his fingers hover over your contact name but he can’t push himself to press it. He locks his phone and let’s out a frustrated groan.

Mark looks up from his phone and his tongue pokes the in so of his cheek “Hyung, do it or I will.” 

 “Shut up boy from the six-”

 “I’m not from the six, I’m from Vancouver.” Marks states his tone annoyed.

 Taeyong roles his eyes and sighs “I’m sorry-I didn’t mean to be rude I’m just stressed you know?!”

 Mark nods understanding his Hyung’s predicament “That’s why you should just call her or text her, relieve some stress.” Taeyong let Mark’s words linger in the air as he thought for himself. 

 Taeyong has just been so disappointed with himself. With the training and the debuting he’s just sorta forgot about you. That’s what’s driving him insane! He’s so shocked that he let himself forget about you-his girlfriend/boyfriend! He’s just so disappointed. That’s really the whole reason as to why he hasn’t called. He’s scared that your mad and so he just lets the phone ring or he just doesn’t read your texts so that you don’t know he read them and just didn’t respond. The amount of guilt he feels is unbearable. But how are you suppose to explain to your girlfriend/ boyfriend that you sort of forgot about them?

 As if on cue Taeyong’s phone started to ring. He almost jumped when his ring tone started playing. It was you saying “hey you pick up! Wow this is rude pick up the phone BRUH!” he thought it was cute at the time and recorded you saying it and set it as his ringtone. Now how ironic is it that that is his ringtone and your calling him.

 His eyes widen and his heart drops “G-Guys what I do?!” 

 Yuta pops his head in from the kitchen “Answer it you idiot!” 

 The phone continues to ring and Taeyong gives Jaehyun and Mark a look. The nod, indicating that he should pick it up. 

 With a stifled breath he excuses himself and escapes to the dorms balcony, shutting the sliding door behind him. He kisses his thumb and clicks answer, taking in a shaky breath he puts on a small smile “Hello?” he shivers from the inter air and he hugs his sweater covered body as his teeth chatter. 

 You sigh from the other line and your hands sweat from nervousness “Uh-hi Taeyong .” 

 He lets out a forced laugh “Oh Taeyong-not Tae?” he tries to playfully joke. Although he knows it’s something serious you only ever called him Taeyong when there was something serious. 

 “Taeyong-I think…” His eyes widen and his heart races immediately inferring the end of your sentence. 

Trying to stall he stops you “Hey uh how have you been Y/N?!” You let out a sigh knowing that he’s stalling “I-I’m fine Taeyong.” 

 “That’s great! I miss you!” he exclaims. Your heart drops and breathing becomes hard. You almost choke on air when you hear him say that. God, did he really have to make all of this harder. 

 Taeyong opened his mouth to speak only for you to cut him off now “Taeyong I think we need to break up.” you say in a hurried tone.

 Taeyong almost stops breathing. He holds onto the balcony railing to keep him up “W-What?” his face was becoming hot and red and his eyes brim with tears as he hears your voice shake on the other line. 

 “Taeyong I’m sorry. But I-” 

 “Y/N, if this is about me not calling you I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a terrible boyfriend but-but I can change.” he pleads. His tears spill from his eyes and his head spins. It’s as if this were all happening in slow motion.

 “Tae, you can’t change. You’re so busy and your only going to become more popular and I’m so proud of you. But-I hate feeling like I’m the second priority. I hate feeling as if this relationship is one sided and I’m-” you choke on your tears and you let out a huff. You wipe away the tears and take a deep breath in “I’m so tired Tae. I’m so tired of waiting for you to call and staying up till three in the morning. I’m tired of having to constantly check up on you and call you only for you not to respond to me at all. Tae you even came home last month and didn’t bother to come see me!” 

 He let out a sob as you let out all your held in feelings. God,it made him feel like complete crap. He didn’t know that he was doing all of this to you. He so badly wants to say something but he can’t. Taeyong sits on the floor curled up with the phone pressed to his ear. The night wind making his eyes dry and his noes more runny. 

 “Bye Taeyong. I love you-I always will. But we don’t talk anymore like we use too. Things aren’t the same.” you huff and hold onto your chest trying to lessen the pain of your aching heart “I love you Tae. Good b-bye.” 

 With that that call ends and Taeyong is still in shock. He lets out a frustrated scream and throws his phone across the balcony. His mind full of rage but not at you, at himself. He screams again letting his pain out. 

 The boys hear him from outside and come rushing into the balcony watching their friend cry. “Hyung,” Mark calls.

 “S-she’s gone.” he whispers as he slides down the wall. His sobs becoming louder. He collapses onto Jaehyun and Mark and they hold him up feeling terrible for their Hyung. 

 “She’s gone…” he repeats.

 You sit in your room staring into blank space you’re not even crying. Your feelings just jumbled and your not eyes sure how to feel.

 Hani knocks on your door and she gives you a small smile “Come here.” at that moment you come running at her engulfing her into a hug, sobbing into her shoulder “I-I” 

 “Shh it’s okay Y/N. Breath.”

"You Don't Know How It Feels", An Again Ficlet

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I hope that you’re all enjoying your presents and food!

Here is my Christmas present to you–an Again piece!

Enjoy and Happy Reading!

Summary: A little piece of seventeen-year-old Cinna Mellark’s life as the “Again” crew and their children return for the holidays and to await the birth of Adina’s child. Takes place in the year 2030 from Cinna’s POV.

Friday, December 13, 2030

Noe Valley, San Francisco, CA

“So let’s get to the point, let’s roll another joint
Let’s head on down the road
There’s somewhere I gotta go…”

As crazy as Maggie is, she photographs beautifully.

Even in the red-lit laundry room that is my temporary darkroom, her teasing bright-white smile shines through the dimness. The day I took this picture we were meeting Hanna Hawthorne, another one of our friends, in Golden Gate Park after the Outside Lands concert that I had just finished covering.

Keep reading

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades Darker (part 1/?)

1. Is this the real life? Am I really doing this again? Yes, yes I am. Because I apparently hate myself, but I want you guys to be entertained, so there’s that.
2. Fifty Shades Darker… darker than what? Christian’s idea of what it means to be a decent human being? Oh wait, he has no idea what that is.
3. “E.L.James is currently working on the sequel to Fifty Shades Darker and a new romantic thriller with a supernatural twist”. So, seeing as Grey is being published this month, will we find out that Christian is actually a merman and his abusive tendencies are actually a result of water withdrawal?
4. Oh yes, I forgot that they broke up at the end of the first book. Can you imagine if she left it at that (with a few small alterations)? Ana breaking up with Christian, with a resting bitch face, telling him to go shove it and riding off into the sunset? Ah, dreams…
5. “I have survived Day Three Post-Christian” - Ana is counting the days after the break-up as if a natural disaster has occurred and the world is facing a post apocalyptic nightmare.
6. “I can afford a car, a nice, new car” - Who the fuck is able to afford a car, let alone a new car, after just being hired fresh out of college, in their first job ever??? Hey, maybe this is the supernatural twist mentioned before!
7. Bella Ana sits and stares blankly at the wall *cue montage of a room spinning while months pass by*; oh wait, wrong book.
8. This book is 373 pages. I’m on page 4.
9. Ana got roses from Christian. She doesn’t throw them away or chop them up. Not gonna lie, I’m pretty disappointed in you, Ana.
10. “I have become […] a ravaged, war-torn land where nothing grows and the horizons are bleak” - oh, for fuck’s sake, get over yourself. You broke up with him. The world isn’t ending. This isn’t Armageddon.
11. Ana seems to be a beacon/magnet for douchebags. Her boss is “hovering, asking personal questions”. I smell harassment as a plot device. Because why have a female character whose development isn’t centered around sexualization. Ludicrous.
12. Ana just got an e-mail from Christian, where he offers to take her to Jose’s (Jose who forced himself on her in the last book, that Jose) gallery opening, because, oh how sweet of him, she doesn’t have a car. How nice of him, how selfless. Never mind that she broke up with him and all that. That’s just water under the bridge. It would be so so wrong of him to abandon her in her time of need. Heaven forbid she made an independent decision.
13. Ana to Christian: “I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can’t love me” - this is for everyone saying that “Christian wasn’t abusing Ana, you’re all insane”. Also, turns out that Ana can be capable of at least a semblance of rational thoughts. Who would have guessed?
14. “the masochist in me” - oh lord, there’s another one. Not only do I have to stand her subconscious, her inner goddess, now there’s a masochist too?
15. Christian to Ana: “What time shall I collect you?”. Let me say that again: COLLECT you. The words they choose speak wonders for someone’s character. Christian, stop being a dick, Ana is not a collectible. 
16. “his birth mom, the crack whore” - I dare you to say this out loud without cracking up.
17. “Drinks with the boss, is that a good idea?” - Only if wrestling a 10 feet alligator sounds like a good idea, Ana. 
18. “Oh no” - oh no, here are the oh noes, again. And the oh my-es, and the wows. Jesus save me.
19. The first thing he asks her is when she last ate. I’m sorry, he doesn’t ask. He demands. Fuck you, Christian.
20. “That really is none of your concern” - slow clap for Ana.
21. “Why does he always make me feel like an errant child” - because he is a deeply disturbed individual.
22. Oh god, mythological references. Why. I mean…why.
23. “Desire pools dark and deadly in my groin” *snort*
24. For two people that are broken-up/no longer in a relationship, there’s a lot of PDA and eye-fucking going on. I’m not judging, I’m just asking what the whole point of the whole “break-up” was. Oh, was it to try for a semblance of a plot? Oh okay. Cool.
25. “Jose is just a friend” - oh, stop justifying yourself. You’re “broken-up”, remember? Ugh. 
26. How To Be A Douche 101: start talking about something serious, hinting at a reconciliation, then stop all of a sudden, saying that you’ll resume the conversation at a later time. Christian passes this course with flying colours.
27. I have counted 5 holy cows in the span of a couple of pages.
28. “In his own way, he does care about me” - How To Delude Yourself Into Thinking Your Ex-Boyfriend Cares About You 101. - Ana passes with flying colours.
29. Just my two cents: if you take pictures of someone, then display them publicly, doesn’t the person in the photos need to give some sort of consent? Otherwise it’s illegal and creepy?
30. “talk about non-sequitur” - oh look, more words thrown into the story to make the readers feel like idiots. Especially because it could have been avoided. I hate pretentiousness.
31. OH. OOOOH. ANA SLAYS IT: “it’s very confusing being with you. You don’t want me to defy you, but then you like my smart mouth. You want obedience, except when you don’t, so you can punish me”. Another slow clap for Ana.
32. “Jose […] never hit me” - Ana, I never thought I’d be proud of you. Miracles do happen, praise the heavens.
33. “No. Go. Now. Say good bye”. Well, fuck you too, Christian. Who talks like that? Dude. Chill. 
34. And Ana does as he says. *facepalm* Of course she does.
35. This was just the first chapter. What the fuck.
36. Help.

Things I have learned from Fifty Shades of Grey masterpost

You used me part 2: Cameron Dallas

Here ya go :) thank you for the amazing feed back!
If you want a imagine ask also which boy should I do next? Any fandom :)


Elizabeth POV

I sat in the car in total silent, my eyes were tired but I refused to close them.
“We are almost there,” Jacob said patting my knee; it takes 2 hours from the venue to my house. I picked up my phone, logging into to twitter

What was wrong with Elizabeth?
Elizabeth was crying!
I bet Cameron dumped her. Hahah
Cameron and Elizabeth are so cute what happened?
The new Cameron and Elizabeth pictures are so cute
Are the dating?
What happened?

I sighed

I’m fine guys just some allergies!

I heard Jacobs phone beep.
“You didn’t,” he said quickly glancing at his phone.
“What was I suppose to say? Its not like we were dating anyways”  
“What are you going to tell your dad?” what was I going to say? Nothing. I didn’t want to start anything. They got what they needed they could leave. My heart aced once I thought about Cameron leaving. I knew someone like him wouldn’t like me I lived in a fantasy.  
“Nothing” I simply said the rest of the car ride was quite. My phone would buzz but I didn’t dare see who it was. I sighed at the sight of my house not knowing what to say to my dad.  I stepped out of the car with Jacob behind.
“Why are you back so early” My dad hugged me
“I- I had bad allergies, I needed to rest but I did see some fans” I smiled
“Jacob my boy nice to see you” he said shaking his hand.
We both walked back into the garden laying on the open field.
“What if he comes?” he asked I wasn’t sure what to say. Why would he?
“He isn’t”

Cameron POV

I called her like a million times but she wouldn’t answer. I was going crazy. Why! Why couldn’t I just tell Nash I liked her?
“I’m going after them,” I said standing up.
“No you are not. We have a show to run!” Ben yelled.
“I have to! This is all your fault anyway!” I yelled
“It was yours too! You went along with it. Leave it Cameron we are leaving tomorrow anyway.” He calmly said.
“No. I am not leaving until I get her to forgive me. Shove that money up your ass” I walked away heated from the fight opening the doors to screaming teens. I took a few pictures but made my way to my car. I was careful not to hurt anyone and drove off.

After 2 hours I arrive at her house. Jacob is still here, his car parked in front
I ran to the door knocking
“Oh Cameron” her father said, I wonder if he knew. I smiled
“I-I just want to see if Liz is okay” he smiled , I guess he didn’t  know.
“She is in the garden with Jacob” I thanked him walking to the garden. My eyes scanned the garden trying to locate them. My phone buzzed. It was a tweet from Liz.

Jacob and me are doing a Q&A! #Eacob !

I waited to see if I could hear them. I finally heard her laugh I followed her laugh. Their backs were towards me.

“#AskEacob what’s the deal with you and Cameron” she said out loud. She cleared her throat.
“I met him this week. So nothing” she said looking down.
“Nothing? Is what we are?” I asked she turned around quickly.
“Yes nothing.” She stood up as Jacob just watched.
“Nothing. I meant nothing to you; you meant something to be at one point. That means we are nothing.” She stepped closer.
“You used me! I am nothing NOTHING to you.” She waved her hands. I stepped forward.
“You did mean something, at first yes admit, I used you for the money but I got to know you!” I stepped in front of her facing down.
“Your laugh, your smile, the way your noes wiggles when you think something is gross, the way you stay positive, the obsession with one direction” I chuckle making her blush.
“Every little thing about you means something.” I leaned in wrapping my arms around her waist.
“You’ll always mean something,” she gasped as our lips connected. Her warm pink lips danced with mine. I swear fireworks could burst out, wow I sound just like a girl.
“You got all that” Jacob interrupted facing the laptop.
‘No you are not using that for your video” I said she laughed leaning against me.
“We’re on YouNow” I glanced down oh god.
“They heard all of that?” I smiled she just nodded
“Good. Now they know your mine,” I said leaning in for one more kiss she chuckled kissing back.
“You mean something to me too.” She smiled
“But yes I am using you for your body” she teased making laugh.
“And I’m using your for yours” I picked her up as she screamed and laughed. She wrapped her legs around me as I held her from your bum.
“You’ll always mean something” she repeated my words leaning in for one more kiss.

My super-detailed analysis of "Why We Fight", which was totally a pro-Charloe episode

(I realize this is super late; apologies all around.) 

Okay, so, a lot of people see this episode as a coffin nail on Charloe. I’m here to tell you that a lot of people are wrong.

Why am I right? Who says I am anyway?  You do. If you read this, and agree with me, then from your perspective, I am right. And if you read this and think I am right, then you must respect my Revolution judgment and listen to me when I tell you that Charloe lives. (Now, whether Revolution lives or not depends on you watching live on the day it airs on NBC, and telling everyone you know to do the same—but that’s a different story.)

Anyway, “Why We Fight” was so Charloe, it’s probably gonna take a while to break it all down, so you might wanna go in the kitchen, open the fridge and bring back all with you that you can carry, because you plan to be here for the long haul; you are dedicated; you’re a Revolutionary of the Charloe persuasion and you can do anything.

And now for why everything will be okay from the Charloe perspective:

The opening scene

A safe house once used by the Matheson-Monroe gang has been discovered by the Patriots. From a safe vantage point, Bass, Miles and Connor look on as the Patriot goons look on at the now-revealed safe house. Basically, a lot of pseudo-voyeurism is happening here, but that’s not what I came to talk about—I came to talk about the boys. (Kudos to you, if you get what I was vaguely referencing.)

Basically, we have Connor, Miles and Bass. And there’s nothing abnormal about that. They can team up all they want, though they’re not my favorite trio (which would be Bass, Charlie and Connor, because of the shenanigans they get up to without adult supervision). The thing that’s interesting about this is that Connor is there for some reason when really only two scouts are needed; two, only because this is a TV show and we need one of them to tell the other one what us audience folks are supposed to be seeing for exposition purposes. So yeah. Three is superfluous. While it’s true TPTB seem to have an affinity for unholy trinities (hey, that kinda rhymed!), Connor is really unnecessary. But look! Miles is literally in between Bass and Connor. Literal foreshadowing? Could be.

Arguing about the compromised safe houses

Bass: “You didn’t shoot the kid and now he’s lead them right to us.”

Miles: “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”

(Miles, as far as comebacks go, that was pretty lame, but we’ll forgive you, because you’re obviously frustrated right now.)

Oh noes! All the safe houses are gone. Yep, that’s right—gone. Actions have consequences. Because Miles didn’t execute a kid last week, said kid has told his Patriot superiors about the safe houses, which had basically been the only thing keeping the Matheson-Monroe gang alive and relatively safe this whole time. (Hence the name “safe house”…literally. lol)

And when Bass calls it on it, Miles is all: “I’m sorry I made it harder for you and your kid to get your discount empire back.” And tells Bass, yes, he and everyone else did  know about that thing that Bass and Connor have been whispering about for the past several episodes. (Bass ain’t slick.)

And it’s so funny, the look on Charlie’s face after he says that, when Bass is getting in his face and saying things back to him. It’s kinda like this smile…it’s not a mean smile or an angry smile. It’s an amused smile. She’s amused.

Gene wants to go to Willoughby and get reinforcements from the townspeople. Everyone else thinks it’s a bad idea. Bass sees it as a personal betrayal for some reason. (“Outta all the times I’ve saved your puckered ass.) Charlie just thinks it’s plain dangerous. (“Grandpa,” she says soothingly, as if he’s gone instantly senile, “it’s too dangerous.”) But Gene is persistent and vouches that the Willoughbians (Willoughbytes?) are good people who will fight.

Miles points out the first real reason it’s a bad idea: “What makes you think we can trust them?” And it’s true. In their day and age, you can’t really trust anybody…least of all people who your enemy has…you know…brainwashed.

Rachel and Charlie both volunteer to go with Gene when he remains persistent but Miles gets protective and says he’s the one that’s going. (Though, it’s not just protectiveness—he would be the best one for it.)

Bass points out with some excellent zingers (“AARP” anyone?) that they’ll probably lose both Gene and Miles in the process; Bass says he can quit bitching if he has a better idea. And, of course, he doesn’t, because this is just a horrible idea, really, with no good outcome, which is what Charlie and Bass and even Connor who is often puppy dumb have all pointed out.

And in that shot where Miles and Gene are walking away? It goes to the others they left behind, Charlie and Bass at the forefront, and they both do this cute little subtle thing, where they both look down, slightly pissed. And it’s just…if you didn’t know them, you could tell they were the ones of the group with the fiery tempers. In other words, passion.

Miles and Gene just wanna talk

To Marion, that is.

“Well, if it isn’t Stu Redman? Or is it Miles Matheson?” I swear, when I tweeted that line during the live tweeting…I didn’t even realize what had happened, but I think that tweet got more retweets than any Revolution tweet I’ve ever tweeted. Maybe we all have a soft spot for Stu Redman, I dunno. (But I love her delivery. The actress is great. She was on Stargate: Universe, another show belonging to NBC Universal of the sci-fi persuasion, shown on the SyFy channel; it was cut down in its prime, cancelled after two seasons, due to being put on a suckish night with no promos whatsoever…sound familiar?)

While Gene’s ex-girlfriend came out of nowhere, I like her. She’s both weak and strong. And it’s hard to have a character who is equal parts each. Of course, those of us who watched the episode know which side won out in the end, but yeah. I have to wonder if we’ll be seeing more of her.

Charlie chastises Connor

They’re digging stuff…and she just randomly starts laughing at him. This is never a good sign when a girl laughs at you. Never, ever, ever.

“Tell me,” Connor says like an eager puppy, “what’s so funny?”

“I’m just picturing you and Monroe,” she says. “Hey—were you guys thinking matching thrones, because I think that would be adorable? I mean, let’s be realistic. You’re a skinny-ass nobody and Monroe’s the world’s heavyweight psycho, so, I dunno. Don’t you think maybe you’re in over your head a little bit?”

(Skinny-ass nobody. She laughed at him and then called him that. Could you cut down a guy further? Well, yeah, but it’d involve insulting his penis, I imagine. Also notice the only insult she has for Monroe is that he’s a psycho. Every bad thing she’s said about him is either about him being a psycho or a sociopath. She can’t come up with any other insult. Nothing about his personality. Nothing about his looks. There’s nothing really else wrong with him in her eyes. And even then, I think “psycho” is the canned “I hate him” mantra that she has to tell herself so she doesn’t, you know, fall head over heels in love with him, marry him, and have his kids. Because this is just not this kind of show. Maybe.)

“You don’t know me, what I did back home. Maybe I’m finally where I’m supposed to be? Ever thought of that?”

(This is just such a childish thing to say. I’m sure Charlie knows very well what you did back home, Connor. Miles and Bass are blabber mouths and have probably told her a lot about Mexico and how you were just some old guy’s lackie that he violently kicked to the curb the second you showed you weren’t entirely whipped and devoid of your own personality and life goals. Yeah, that was a lot of great and powerful stuff you did there in Mexico.)

A fire in the distance interrupts what should’ve been an amazing verbal smackdown. Damn it.

But yeah. Charlie was totally schooling him. She was talking to him like he’s a little boy…and he is. He may be three years older than her, but she is just so much wiser and mentally more mature. She sees the bigger picture; she sees consequences. And from the perspective of a woman not much older than Chralie, I can tell you that the second you start giving advice and schooling a man, he becomes a boy in your eyes. Basically, this convo is more like the coffin nail in Corlie…or whatever Charlie/Connor is called. (And TBH, no guy wants to get with a girl who makes him feel that low unless he himself has major problems.)

Vincent recognizes his friends

So everybody decides to go scout the campfire in the distance, because, again, obviously the idea of scouting is to send everyone you have because getting caught isn’t an issue. *smacks head*

Vincent, one of Charlie’s mercenaries given to her by Duncan, recognizes the owners of the campfire as his friends. And thus, a new era begins.

Duncan’s man comes up to Monroe and recognizes him; this proves that he must’ve been somewhat close to Duncan so that he would know he was Monroe and not Jimmy the fighter from New Vegas. (That, or else he is a highly schooled Patriot spy, as has been used in an early episode of this season…take your pick.)

Bass asks where Duncan is; Duncan’s man tells Bass that Duncan is dead.

Bass looks like he can’t have heard him right. Charlie kinda gets a look like, “Yeah, I know I’m hearing this, but damn.”

“How?” Bass asks in disbelief.

“…the Patriots. And we want blood.”

Bass: “Well you came to the right place.”

And there is this brief look of comprehension on Rachel’s place over the fact that him saying that is probably not the best thing in the world. Rachel is also icked out over one of Duncan’s men ripping the tooth out of a fallen Patriot. (“Gold’s gold.”) And historical note: during Jane Austen’s time, the time we think of as the height of English civility, the Napoleonic Wars were raging and people—even women—would rip out teeth as souvenirs. And those teeth weren’t gold covered, so compared to them, these mercenaries are downright civilized.

Duncan’s man relates to Bass how Duncan was killed, how the Patriots are exterminating war clans, etc. The guy says Duncan fought like hell, but they blew her face clean off and he saw it happen. Now, these would be perfectly normal details to add if Bass had asked, “How can you be sure she’s dead?” Instead, he just volunteers them readily, which I find suspicious; it could be nothing, but why would a seasoned mercenary volunteer info like that that wasn’t asked? Is he just chatty? We will see.

The guy says they specifically came to Willoughby to find Bass.

Bass asks, “So, you in charge of this war party?”

Guy says, “Don’t wanna be. I make a damn good Indian, but I’m no chief.”

And I love the fuck outta that line. Isn’t it the best?

However, great line aside, the guy is now stroking Bass’s ego in a very obvious way. Bass likes to think that he’s a leader because he’s a good leader. (And he can be a genuinely good leader when he’s wearing his white hat and remembering those who depend on him.) But Bass has also had his less than stellar leadership moments, and that’s kinda what’s happening right now within his group of friends: people are appalled at the idea of him being the leader of another Republic. I think in a way, on that level at least, he might see it as a challenge. So, between wanting to prove them wrong and this guy making it easy for him and stroking his ego…it just encourages him all the more to continue in his ambitions. (Ambitions which he could probably be persuaded to give up by Connor or even Miles or Charlie if any of them tried hard enough…or at all. And that’s another thing of note: none of them have tried to dissuade him. Miles and Charlie pretend they don’t want it, but they’re also not telling him not to his face, like they should be if that’s how they feel.)

“Well, that makes sense,” Bass says, in response to the dude’s ego stroking. And then he looks at Charlie and says, “After all, you need a leader with experience.”

And this moment is perfect on so many levels.

He was severely butthurt over the fact that Duncan chose Charlie to lead the men. He wasn’t so put out that he would openly undermine her; however, he’s also not going to pass up an opportunity that plops itself in his lap. And there’s a bit of competitiveness between them. They both think they are the right ones to lead and they both get off on leadership.

Bass was taunting her. And it wasn’t just about her being a rookie of a leader. It was also an “I have the upper hand now” thing, which goes back to their passion. They’re both such passionate people. You can tell by the look on her face when he says that that that really sticks in her craw. She gives him a look that says, “it’s on”. And I just don’t think she’s going to accept not being in charge anymore that easily. She liked it too much.

And it should be noted that power struggles often lead to, cause and are the result of, sexual tension. Say, so far, Charlie has only felt passionately about Bass. Passionate hate, at first. Them passionate tolerance. And then passionate acceptance. That much needed foundation of passion is there in spades; everything they feel about each other is passionate. But the thing about passion is, it doesn’t stagnate. It evolves. It changes. One day, they will just feel so passionately about each other, that it will turn into tension that not even Tracy and David themselves can talk their ways around. ;)

And it’s already started. Just reference the episode prior where Bass is extremely put out—still—over the Charlie/Connor sexcapade. The transition is occurring where it’s no longer subtle or in our heads. It’s manifesting in a very slow and subtle, but very real way.

And what he said to her is basically a challenge. And they both know it. And challenges between people like them usually end up in sex. I’m just saying.

And that extended look they give each other is just priceless, too. Like, neither of them thinks this is funny anymore. He’s challenging Charlie in a real way that will inevitably make her deal with her feelings…he may be aware he’s having strange feelings already and trying to bring them to the surface in her. I know I always say he ain’t slick and he isn’t—except for when he is.

And it’s very important to know that Connor gets this very sad, resigned look on his face when he witnesses their exchange. The sexual chemistry has begun in earnest and it will not be stopped not ever. And he knows it. (Remember, the camera would’ve never panned to him if it wasn’t important for us to know his reaction…and he wouldn’t have a reaction if it wasn’t important to him, the look between them.)

And Charlie finally does smirk. That is her accepting this challenge. (And also the self-righteousness of being right about her imaginings of the Monroe Kingdom probably has something to do with it too.)

And now Bass is getting that look on his face where things are actually going right for him and it’s just precious even though in this case it’s sinister, bless him.

And Rachel stares ominously. Because she knows what’s up. She’s seen it all before. (And now her daughter is right in the mix, which probably worries her more.)

Miles’s wisdom

Another popular line from the live tweeting: “People will always do the stupid, selfish thing, ten times outta ten.” – Miles Matheson

And in his experience, that is so true. Even the things that seem right and good, from his POV, are the stupid, selfish thing. Like his relationship with Rachel. She’s his brother’s widow and she’s wildly unstable. But he loves her in spite of it and probably because of it. It’s not traditionally right; it’s not smart; he feels it’s selfish, but he’s doing it (no pun intended) anyway.

And let that wisdom ruminate in you when you think about Bass and Charlie. Because Miles is right. People do the stupid selfish thing always and when they don’t, it’s the exception. So, if either one of them does the smart, selfless thing…just know what a big deal it is in their world, and give them the proper respect they’ve earned. Eventually one of them will have to give. They won’t fight each other to the death over who gets to lead, even though they both want it badly. Bass does want it more, so if he let’s go of that…that will be a huge step for him, especially when you consider Connor’s loyalty to him largely hinging on the Republic. (Which, by the way, is like the bratty child of divorced parents who goes to live with whichever one buys him the nicer car. Not cool, Connor. Not cool. I hope that he’s genuinely grown to love Bass, because Bass does genuinely love him and it will take a lot for Bass to feel differently. I mean, I could see their falling out being more epic than Miles and Bass’s.)

Gene asks Miles what he’s fighting for. Miles gives the answer of protecting Gene’s girls, which Gene can appreciate, but he wants to know the deeper reason, like if it’s for a better world or something. But that Miles…he’s a jaded SOB.

“I set out to make things better—Bass and I both did.” (I love how he includes Bass! Because it’s true.) “And it all went to hell. It’s all blood and war. And you wanna know why? Because people will always do the stupid, selfish thing, ten times outta ten. Me most of all. I’m just trying to make up for that. That’s it.”

“So, you’re not fighting for anything. You’re just fighting back against your own demons. No wonder you keep losing.”

And that is so insightful of Gene. Miles is always doing this and Bass has done this, too, actually…more than anyone, whether they be characters on the show or viewers, give him credit for. Both men are trying in their own ways to put right what they’ve done wrong. Like they can somehow put the universe back in balance.

But that’s not how you do it. You have to have a purpose, a cause, something good to put back into the gaping hole you ripped out of said universe. Charlie’s lost her way in that regard as well. Bass, Charlie and Miles are all lost and have lost their causes. Meanwhile, every other character has found theirs. So, it’ll be interesting to see by the end of the season if those three crazy kids have found something worth fighting for other than the empty sort-of goals they have right now.

Bass’s game plan and Rachel’s fears come true

Okay, so as the scene begins, it comes on Bass looking very pensive and almost sad. And there’s sad music playing in the background, which sharply juxtaposes the next moment when Duncan’s man (the one who’s been so chatty all episode) comes up. Bass jumps up from his seat and tells him they will hit the camp fast and hard, taking out the cadets and all, and keeping intel in mind.

So, yeah. I think that basically says it all. He is both gleeful and destroyed over being That Guy.

What is “That Guy”, you ask? Well, I was talking to several friends on Twitter and I was trying to explain the concept of what role Bass plays in the group in the least words possible; not only does Twitter have a 140 character limit, MANY people were tagged in the convo, making brevity not only an art, but vital.

Basically, “That Guy” is what Bass is. He’s that guy who steps up and plays the bad cop, because he can do it and does it well. Now, does that mean he is a bad person? No, not at all. In life, you will one day come to realize that you know a person who is always taking on horrible burdens so other people don’t have to. (You will notice that person if you’re not entirely selfish and narcissistic, that is.) This person isn’t the typical “doormat” personality type we often here about, no. The peaceful analogue for “That Guy” (and that guy can be a girl; in this case, because Bass is a male, “That Guy” is actually a male) is the fulltime college student who works two jobs just to be less of a financial burden on their parents and even help out with their younger siblings. Or, when someone dies and you have to go down to the morgue to identify the body, they do it. Essentially, “That Guy” does hard things in life so as to make life easier on others.

A lot of people see Bass as a power-hungry madman, and while he has had those moments, that’s not the type of person he is at his core. When his entire empire crumbled, his first thought wasn’t, “OMG, I don’t have power anymore.” As he told Charlie, people depended on him and he wasn’t able to take care of them. In other words, when it came down to the crunch and actually mattered, he was able to break free from that mania and care about what he should’ve cared about all along, proving that, deep down, he was and is “That Guy”.

And look at the history of the Monroe Republic. What we do know is that Miles was the one who thought “somebody” had to keep people in line post-blackout. So, why wasn’t he the leader? There must’ve been a time when Bass was the one who could keep it together. And that capacity doesn’t just leave you. It stays there, waiting to be brought out again when it’s needed.

So, flashforward to now. Miles originally agreed to Bass being part of the team, specifically so he could be the That Guy, the one who does the hard, bad things so others don’t have to. And I think at first, Bass went along with it, because it’s what he knows. But now that he has Connor, and he’s growing to care more about those around him,  I think being That Guy is ever-more important. If you have younger siblings or children, you know you’d do anything to protect them. And part of protecting people is making sure they turn out better than you and never have to do the hard things you did. (More on that later.)

And he says to the guy, before he leaves, “Hey—this one’s for Duncan.”

And that, my friends, says so much. This raid isn’t just about him or a means to an end. It’s personal now. Even though he and Duncan weren’t romantic anymore, he still cared about her and even considered her a friend. And I think that’s important to remember in the rest of the episode.

(On a side note: the look on Connor’s face when Monroe says that…he looks slightly confused. And that is super interesting.)

And then Connor goes up to Bass and says, “We’re ready.” Bass gives him a nod, like the general he is, and Connor yells to the troops, “We’re moving out!”

And in this moment, the Monroe boys truly think they’re getting their Republic back. This is their glorious moment, before everything goes to shit, so I really hope they enjoy it. (I love them; they are my beebies.)

Rachel follows them as everyone is moving out.

“Bass, don’t do this! Wait for Miles.” You can hear the desperation in her voice and see it on her face. It’s no longer a snarky war of wits or even having to do with anger—she genuinely doesn’t want him to do what he’s about to do, because she knows it’s all going to turn out bad in the end (whether it’s right or not, which is really more of a philosophical debate).

Bass responds ever-so-sassily: “I’ve got the men I need, Rachel. I don’t have to listen to you anymore.” (Like, when has he ever listened to her, tho?)

And then, to Rachel’s horror, Charlie is among those following Bass and Baby Bass into battle.

Rachel, horrified: “What are you doing?!”

Charlie: “My guys are going and I’m going too.”

And the minute I heard that during the live broadcast (which you should totally watch, if you have the means), it seemed to me to be very much a double entendre. And now that I’m watching it again, right now, in this moment, I still think it is.

Usually, with double entendres there is a meaning behind the words on a mundane level and then a higher or hidden meaning. Well, the obvious, mundane level is that Charlie’s guys are the guys Duncan gave her to command.

Except, here’s the thing: she’s not in charge right now—Bass is. He’s the one who’s called everyone to battle. Charlie’s men aren’t under her control right now; in effect, they are no longer her men—now, they’re Bass’s (at least for the moment).

So, when she says “my guys” to Rachel, it’d be kinda silly if she was talking about her warriors who, so far in this episode, have been rather insolent in going off and siding with Bass over her. Charlie’s not a moron. She wouldn’t think she’s currently in charge of men who have literally run off to join someone else.

When she says “my guys”, she means Bass and Connor. She’s been through a lot with them. She’s spent the better part of a month with them, she slept with Connor (yuck, I know), she and Monroe have had many moments of tension, the three of them pulled the perfect heist until it went to shit and she saved their lives back in New Vegas, something which isn’t lost on any of them. And nobody has saved her life more times this season than Monroe has. He’s the only one who’s been looking out for her diligently for the last year, and I think that really does mean something to her. (“You came back,” remember?) Monroe and Connor are her guys. They are her comrades, her team. If she was randomly given the task of pulling some kind of job, she’d take those two knuckleheads. If she had friends in the normal sense of the word, those two would be it.

I think it’s purposely meant to be vague so that viewers wonder if she is talking about her warriors or if she’s talking about Bass and Connor, but for this fangirl, there is no wondering: the Monroe boys are her guys.

And the look of horror on Rachel’s face as she watches Charlie march off with the war band…this is what she’s been fearing all along. It makes me think back to when they were talking about saving Bass before his execution. Rachel said something like, “I’m not going to lose another child to that man.” Well, Danny died. We know Charlie isn’t dying. So, it was obvious even back then, the loss didn’t mean “death”. Whether it’s romantically or for something like this, she worried she would “lose” Charlie to Monroe. And this moment is just conformation of her earlier fear. (Though, I will say that Charlie wouldn’t do what Monroe would do if they weren’t on similar wavelengths and similar wavelengths can lead to romance on down the road, obviously.)

The battle

Bass and his war band go into town with guns literally blazing. (Conveniently giving a captive Tom Neville and son the opportunity to get un-captive and for Tom to kill his captor—yay!)

And there is a short shot in between Tom killing his arch-nemesis where Bass and Charlie are pretty much elbow to elbow, shooting wildly. It’s starting to become a theme with them. (Think back to “Everyone Says I Love You”.) And it also hints maybe that when Charlie said “my guys are going”, she meant “my guy I’m secretly in love with is going”.

Interestingly, when Bass is busy killing people, Tom and Jason have a chance to kill him and don’t take it…because Jason stops Tom from taking it. Tom is normally the one with the clear, calculating head. And I like that Jason’s being more of a grownup than a whiny kid…but I think it’s interesting in that Jason by default saved Monroe and Monroe will eventually get with Charlie, Jason’s first love. Rather poetic, no?

Charlie and Connor go into a tent and Connor is holding up his gun, but Charlie has a long blade. And normally, she’s more of a projectile weapon gal…crossbows, guns. We’ve seen her fight with a blade before, but this felt more like a departure, because her style of swordsmanship has change. Before, she would just kind of wrestle with people and stab them in the gut. But this time, she moves exactly like Bass. And Connor notices.

There’s been this trend all along of Connor noticing little quirks, things that we think of as shipper moments or moments that are significant to our ship. (Like how he obviously noted when Bass and Charlie wouldn’t correct people in New Vegas about them being married.) He’s apparently a very observant fellow, so when Bass and Charlie do get together…it may not be such a shock to him.

Charlie and Connor come out of the tent and are surprised to find the battle over.

Bass is walking around, a blade in one hand and a gun in another. A dying man squirms and he shoots him. A lot of people think of this as cruel. I’m here to tell you that, under these circumstances and the morality of a world like this, it’s not at all cruel…it’s a kindness. (And there has been so much debate over this on Twitter, but this is my two cents.)

In the old days, battles were a lot like they are on Revolution. There would be commanders/generals who would give orders and aside of those orders, soldiers would otherwise act pretty autonomously, because there wasn’t high-tech radios to give further orders.

After the battle was over, there were a few things that could happen.

1.) You could win—yay you, you lucky person!

2.) You could lose, but hop on a horse and ride away before anything bad happened to you. (This only happened if you were rich enough to have a horse and lucky enough to be near it or if you stole someone else’s—far less likely.)

3.) You could lose, but have no horse and be at the mercy of the losing side.

So, the only people who were truly free to go were the ones who were on the winning side and lived. The losers had a lot less options, which went like this:

1.) You survived with no injuries and are at the mercy of the winning side’s commanders. If you are rich, they will take you hostage (rarely prisoner…you get money for hostages, not prisoners…you’d only be a prisoner if they needed to neutralize you indefinitely, but didn’t want to kill you); if you’re poor, you get it best, because you get to walk free. If you’re a commander on the opposing side, you might be executed on the spot to become an example for others.

2.) You survived with minor injuries. You might be let go; even if you don’t die of a secondary infection, you won’t be a threat for a while yet.

3.) You survived but had major injuries. If you’re bleeding internally to the point your belly is so swollen with blood that you can’t breathe, you will beg to die. (I know from personal experience.) With blackout technology, you will not survive septic shock. Septic shock is a horrible way to die. How do I know? Personal experience. And it was damned hard with modern medicine. In the world of the blackout, killing a man who is on death’s door in the dirt is a kindness instead of letting him linger for maybe a day in agony.

Bass knows what happens in war both pre and post blackout. He knows the injuries people sustain. And he knows what can and can’t be done. And so, neutralizing threats aside, for kindness sake, as a veteran soldier, he would give his enemy a clean death.

In medieval times, giving someone a quick death was a sign of respect. I’ll give you two historical English “traitors” (I don’t believe they’re traitors…they’re my family, besides that): Jane Grey and Hugh Despenser.

Jane Grey was a sixteen-year-old great-granddaughter of Henry VII. Her cousins, Mary and Elizabeth Tudor were the granddaughters of said Henry VII through his son Henry VIII and they were sisters of the late King Edward VI, also sixteen, who’d just died. Mary and Elizabeth were legal bastards, and Mary a Catholic at that. Edward made his cousin, Jane, his heir. Jane, an educated, bright young girl was brutally forced by her parents to become queen of England.

And then there was Hugh Despenser. Hugh Despenser was a nobleman and the boyfriend of King Edward II, living some two-hundred years before the time of Jane Grey. Edward II’s wife hated the fact that he was cheating on her. It didn’t matter whether it was a man; she simply hated someone else having influence over her husband. So, she had her husband the king murdered in a horribly graphic way that is so horrid, I can’t talk about it here; his lover, Hugh, received the standard English execution of traitors: drawing and quartering.

Now, compare Hugh to Jane Grey, who after being ousted from the throne, was under arrest at her cousin’s Mary’s (the new queen) command. Mary didn’t want to execute Jane. She tried every way not to, including checking to see if she was pregnant or trying to convert the staunch Protestant child to Catholicism. None of that worked and Mary was so shallow, that when her husband said he wouldn’t come to England unless Jane was dead, she decided to execute her. Jane, however, was cared for by her cousin; therefore, her cousin had her decapitated in private with her confessor there to comfort the girl. (Most beheadings were public.)

Now, why am I giving you a history lesson? To show how morality is different in different times. Mary thought she was doing her cousin a kindness. Meanwhile, Isabella, Edward II’s wife, hated Hugh, so she made sure his death was as long and painful as possible. During eras that we would call “dark ages” or “medieval” (and the post-blackout dystopia is both), a quick death is seen as honorable and a kindness…especially on the battle field, when complications from injuries can be severe.

Monroe was doing what in his world is an honorable thing.

But there’s a flipside, though: He enjoys being in battle. It’s fun for him. He feels alive being a warrior. And being in battle does lead to killing people.

And Charlie asks Connor, “Is that the man you want to be like?”

I don’t think she’s saying that because Monroe sent a clean shot toward a dying man. I think she’s saying that because of the simple fact he enjoys battle. That, to her, would be the bigger crime.

Also, she’s not just saying it to Connor…she’s saying it to herself. She’s been guilt-tripping Connor this whole episode and the thing is, he admittedly wants to team up with his father, yet doesn’t view himself like him. So, from Connor’s POV, the case is closed. He can’t be convinced. Charlie’s really trying to convince herself. To me, it’s her trying to further push herself away from Monroe.

Because the thing is, there is always hidden meaning in shows. Characters can say they feel one way, but their actions show they feel another. Charlie may say things that sound anti-Monroe, but when it came down to it, when it mattered in the moment, she followed him into battle. She could’ve given any other reason, and she didn’t.

And yeah, Connor is a little shocked by the brutality of it. And Monroe catches his eye and he sees that it’s finally real to Connor. I think that moment is to also show that up until then, it was always kind of a fantasy for Connor; now, it’s real and he understands the stakes are real.

Bass and his helper are inside Doyle’s office

Inside the office, you can see that Bass is thinking clearly. On his own, once again, he’s slightly more pensive. And he asks the guy for cadet headcounts. He’s not having blood lust or anything; in his mind, he’s being practical—he’s definitely lucid and not the manic guy from last season.

He asks the guy if he speaks Arabic (Doyle’s journal is in Arabic, the Patriot’s secret language); his helper helpfully tells him that one of the guy did two tours in the Gulf. (I’m a little surprised Bass never learned Arabic given he probably had just as many or more tours pre-blackout.)

His helper tells him before he leaves, “I’m glad to be fighting with you. All the men are.”

This strokes Bass’s ego and makes him think he’s done right. And yes, Bass is an able commander and a lot less psychotic than most guys who would command an army in this world. So, maybe he’s on the up and up and he’s genuine. But still…doesn’t it seem a little sappy to have a post-combat heart-to-heart? I really do wonder about this guy. He’s just super helpful and makes Bass feel like the general again.

The after-battle celebrations

Bass is drinking with sad, lonely eyes. It makes me want to hug the fuck out of him.

Connor walks over. Bass passes him the booze. Bass grabs his son’s face in a very fatherly “I’m proud of you” way and Connor smiles. Yeah, apparently this is the sorta guy Connor wants to be like. And if he’s doubted it before, I think he’s settled on it now.

Charlie’s cleaning blood of her hands. Like Bass, there’s also a good deal of blood on her face.

Rachel: “Whose blood is that? Anyone we know?” And she is so disappointed. “How could you go with them?”

Charlie, her face impassive: “They were going with or without me.”

Rachel is now pissed: “Don’t give me that. You killed kids.”

Charlie: “We had to hit that camp.”

Rachel asks: “Why? So Monroe can get his Republic back?”

See, this adds to a thread that has been going on all season long, of Rachel bringing up Monroe to Charlie. A mother knows. Rachel knows.

Charlie gives a pretty long pause before she replies, “Mom, Monroe’s deluded.” That barb is her go-to insult for Monroe. It’s the worst thing she can say about him. (Compare that with her “skinny little nobody” insult to Connor.) “I don’t care how many men he’s got, he’s not getting the Republic back.”

Rachel: “What makes you so sure?”

Charlie: “Well, none of us are gonna be alive that long anyway, but until then, we stay standing, we keep fighting and we do whatever it takes to win. I didn’t go for Monroe; I went for myself.”

And then she looks down.

I find that last part interesting. She kinda contradicts herself. When she set out, she told Rachel she was going because her boys were going (prompting Rachel to ask if it was for Monroe). But now that she’s back, she says she went for herself. So, why the contradiction? Well, I think she’s that legitimately conflicted. On the one hand, I think she feels a strong bond and camaraderie with Monroe that actually means something to her, which goes entirely against her philosophy of not caring. On the other hand, I think she’s trying to tell herself that winning the day is all that matters, because they’re all gonna die soon anyway.

And by going for herself and not Monroe, I think that could have a tricky meaning too. She’s never going to blindly follow a man because she loves him. She’s going to do what she thinks is right. And it just happened that her agenda lined up with Monroe’s that night.

But I think also there will always be a part of her that tries to convince herself to remain staunchly anti-Monroe, especially when he acts like he is tonight. Notice this is the worst she’s spoke of him since the beginning of the season; when he had mellowed some, she was pretty much friendly with him. I think she feels like she needs to maybe go back to hating him so she won’t care about him.

Basically, I think there are a lot of unexplored feelings in Charlie’s head and Monroe is at the center of many of them.

“I’m sorry,” Rachel tells Charlie.

“For what?”

“You’ve been watching me and Miles, the way we act, the awful things that we do—how could you be any different? We did this to you. We made you into this weapon, this soldier. You are twenty-two years old. You can still have a future.”

“Really?”

“What are you fighting for if you don’t have any hope?”

“What the hell’s gotten into you, huh? You’re the scariest person I know and now you’re preaching sharing and caring. What’s the point? What are you fighting for?”

(Note that Monroe is not the scariest person to Charlie…and that probably is a very hard truth for Rachel…but a very true one.)

“You. I guess I’m fighting for you. I’m fighting so you won’t be me.”

Charlie throws down her rag and it makes her think.

You know, the whole episode, she’s been ragging on Connor about being like Monroe. But now, Rachel has brought to her attention that Charlie is becoming like Rachel. And I think that Charlie being on Connor about being like his father was in large part Charlie expressing her fears over becoming like her mother. Monroe is not the big bad—Rachel is. And this is Charlie’s ah ha moment. She’s finally facing what she’s been afraid of. (Which is lucky for Connor and Monroe; she’s probably not going to project her troubles onto them anymore.)

Miles is pissed off

So, after Miles and Gene return, Miles, like the Miss Clavel that he is, notices something is not right. (To Rachel, “What’s all this?”)

He walks up to Bass who is about to greet him as a friend and just punches the shit out of his face.

Everyone looks all shocked and Bass recovers smoothly and asks, “Is there a problem?”

Miles: “Who the hell told you to hit that camp?”

Bass: “I saw an opportunity and I took it. What happened Miles? You went into town and those hicks wouldn’t help?”

Miles: “You didn’t give them much incentive—you shot their children.”

Bass: “They wouldn’t have helped anyway, Miles. You know what people are like deep down, right? They do the stupid, selfish thing every time—that’s what you always say.” (See Miles. He learned it from you, buddy.) “Look around. Two dozen men. This is a gift. It’s a gift. It’s the start of an army. See, you can sit there with your bitchy, frowny face, judging me, or you can get on board. We take it to them. And we do some real damage.” Intense looks. And Bass prompts, “So, what’s it gonna be?”

And before Miles can make some righteous and/or sassy remark, Duncan’s helpful man comes back to say his guy translated the Arabic text. Really, this happened so Miles couldn’t sever ties with Bass then and there, because guess where they’re taking the cadets?! Austin, the capital of nation of Texas. And now Miles can’t cut Bass lose, because he needs him. Now, more than ever. Every paranoid suspicion Miles has had about the patriots all year long has now been confirmed.

Doesn’t this make for excellent TV? (Which is why you should tell everyone you know to watch it and let NBC know you demand, need and crave a third season.)

Why this was totally a pro-Charloe episode

A lot of people who are anti-Charloe say things like, “Charlie is too much like Monroe and you know how they say opposites attract.” Well, yeah. Opposites can attract. But sometimes they don’t attract. “Birds of a feather flock together,” is a slogan used by many Charloe fans as a counterargument and rightly so.

1.) Your soul mate is usually someone a lot like you, with a complementary personality and a similar world view. (Think back to 2006’s Pride and Prejudice when Lizzie Bennet tells her father at the end, regarding Darcy, “He and I are just so similar.” And it’s so interesting, because Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, in the story, are the illustration of that while opposites may attract and may find love with each other, they usually don’t make a soul mate. The Bennets love each other in the end, but their marriage is a lot of work and full of endless vexation in the not-so-good way.)

2.) Sometimes, when people can’t be with the one they’re into for whatever reason, they start to emulate them or do other things that somehow bring that person closer to them in an abstract way. (Think to Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince when Tonks’s patronus becomes a werewolf; Lupin is a werewolf. She ached for him so bad in her rejected lovesickness that she took on traits of him and made them part of her.)

And, as I’ve mentioned before, that dialogue with Connor and Charlie about Connor turning out like Monroe means so many things…and none of them have to do with the surface dialogue. It’s all hidden meanings: Charlie’s feelings for Monroe and her fear that she is turning out like Rachel.

And lest we forget one simple fact: she called the Monroe boys her boys. She also side-stepped the question about doing it for Monroe by dismissing him as deluded. As I said earlier, this is her stock answer for him, when she’s mad at him (with reason or without) or she wants to push him away. “Deluded” is how she convinces herself and others she’s not into him. But the fact that she has to do it a lot says more than my 8,000 word post ever could.