i just made this while i'm at the airport don't judge me

Just a reminder that Ariana Grande is also a human who makes mistakes. Despite how the media portrays her or how certain individuals choose to see her after her incident, there are still many aspects about her that people choose to ignore. You all spend so much time calling her a ‘donut licker who hates America’ and judge her based on one incident and more shockingly her APPEARANCE and fake rumours, that you take away all the good she’s done. We should at least get to know her a bit better, shouldn’t we? Ariana Grande is not only one of the only celebrities who had the courage to come out and openly state she supports feminism and that she believes in crushing gender roles and wants to abolish misogyny and double standards in the media but on top of stating it, she also shows it by constantly tweeting and writing rants about issues like these she thinks need to be resolved AND calls interviewers out on their sexism. She is also a supporter, alongside Miley Cyrus, of the LGBT community and has never shamed or judged ANYONE for their sexuality, rather, she supports them completely. Ariana Grande is also an animal lover, is an activist for the foundation to get Sea World shut down, works with companies that advertises dogs being put up for adoption at her CONCERTS for fans who want the opportunity to adopt dogs who need a home and on top of that she is also an active vegan, before she decided to partake in being a vegan she was a pescetarian. But enough about how she actively supports every foundation you tumblr activists constantly rant about for people to support, let’s talk about how amazing of a person she is personally. Ariana Grande has been able to put up with shitty rumours made about her constantly by the media, mainly by a petty Perez Hilton who hates her for absolutely no reason and more recently Wendy Williams who openly had the nerve to state she doesn’t see her as a woman because of her APPEARANCE and HEIGHT. Ariana Grande recently surprised and gave a fan $15,000 contributing towards her college fund, which was COMPLETELY ignored by the media because it’s been over a month and they’re still interested in the donut incident and the fact that she SARCASTICALLY said she hates America, as if none of you have ever said ‘I hate this country’ I know I sure have! Ariana Grande constantly goes out of her way to make fans happy, she once rented out a £400 room in her London hotel to meet fans privately. She always takes the opportunity to meet them, stopping at airports, coming out of her hotel and just generally giving her fans the best experience with her they can get. Yet all of these go unrecognised and you know why? Because low lives like Perez Hilton think their job in life is to demean celebrities and he wrote a fake story about how she wanted her fans to ‘fucking die’. If you really think that Ariana Grande is problematic in any way, you are completely delusional because ONE incident does not define her as a person and the media actually had the nerve to state she was more hated in America than a CHILD ABUSER and less than a RAPIST and you know why? Because even though Ariana Grande is an amazing person, you all chose to make her the second most hated person in America for a comment that she did not mean and an action she apologised multiple times about yet a child abuser and a rapist who have not even addressed their behaviour are compared to her, a person who LICKED A FUCKING DONUT. Also, Ariana may be petite, she may wear her hair the same way constantly, she may be short and look younger than her age but those are NOT valid reasons to hate someone and if you think belittling and bullying someone for their appearance makes you funny or respectable in any way, you’re delusional and you need to get your life as soon as possible because that shit is disgusting. What’s it to you if she decides to wear her hair in a ponytail? IT IS HAIR. If she looks a couple years younger than her age? IT’S NOT HER FAULT. If she’s petite and doesn’t have the body that live up to your ridiculous standards? SHE LIKES HER BODY AND SHE LOST WEIGHT WHEN SHE MADE THE DECISION TO BECOME A VEGAN. Half of you on social media constantly ridicule those who shame people based on their appearance yet won’t fret to do the same when it comes to that HILARIOUS joke you thought up about Ariana looking 12. Hahahaha!!!! SOOO funny!!!! Ariana Grande is a person, just like the rest of us. If you think that rumours and one incident she happened to partake in define her as a person, you need to rethink your priorities because Ariana Grande is an amazing person who doesn’t deserve half of the grief she gets on a daily basis.

AU

So, over time I’ve liked/saved a crap ton of lists people have made up of AU scenarios. I wanted to combine them into a giant post of all of them so people can use them for fanfics or whatever. Note: IF ANY OF THESE AUS ARE YOURS AND YOU’D LIKE THEM REMOVED FROM THIS LIST, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I’LL DO IT. I’M NOT TRYING TO STEAL NOTES I JUST WANTED ALL THESE GREAT IDEAS IN ONE PLACE. So, here we go…

tickatocka:

  • i fell asleep on your shoulder and you were too polite to move or wake me up au
  • we have the same luggage and didn’t check the tags before we left so i’m calling you to exchange suitcases (and you also had some interesting things in your bag so i’m excited to meet you) au
  • author of book gets seated next to someone reading their book and making entertaining faces at each scene au
  • bonding solely via eye contact over that annoying person on our plane that we’re both slowly becoming more and more exasperated about au
  • you fell asleep and i started making funny faces at your kid to keep them amused and the steward mistook us for a couple au
  • actually, any mistaken for a couple au
  • i’m afraid of flying and you were incredibly helpful and tolerant and sweet about it au
  • i made a horrible first impression at the gate or in line for airport food but now we’re sitting next to each other au

twinkwolf:

  • both of our children are sick in the hospital and we meet nightly at the coffee machine au 
  • spies that have to be fake married on a fake honeymoon on an undercover operation in the tropics au
  • i’m in love with your crafts in your etsy shop and i’m also in love with you au
  • college au where my roommate brings me home to their thanksgiving and my roommate’s sister has brought her friend home as well and oh no you’re hot au
  • drunk strangers arrested for having sex outside of the bar and are stuck doing community service together au
  • a photojournalist and a red cross worker in a conflict zone au

whatbethsays

  • being reunited after surviving the zombie apocalypse unknowing if the other was alive or dead AU
  • rescuing their partner from a recon mission gone wrong AU
  • drama school rivals being cast as romantic opposites because they have “crazy sexual tension” according to their director AU
  • “are we both robbing the same house oh fuck” AU
  • growing up together in a rough neighbourhood AU
  • mutual friends always dragged to the same inane barbecues AU

pumpkinsdean:

  • ‘we both got kicked out of our rooms because our roommates are having sex so now we’re standing in the hallway avoiding each other’ AU
  • 'I heard you singing backstreet boys at 3am and decided to sing along oops’ AU
  • ’ holy shit i’m in the wrong car’ AU
  • LASER TAG AU
  • ‘Omg I can’t believe you still listen to CDs let me help you digitize’ AU
  • ’ I know you steal my wifi to watch porn but it’s kinda hot idk’ AU
  • 'My pet really hates your pet’ AU
  • ’ Customer that knows wayyyy more than the brand new employee please help me out’ AU
  • 'I was walking by the roller coasters and SOMEONE’S SHOE FLEW OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD” AU
  • 'dude i know we don’t know each other but my swim trunks came off when i jumped in the water can you grab them for me’ AU
  • ”it’s 2am and i’m drunk and i need some goddamn french fries right now so open your fucking door’ AU
  • SWIM TEAM AU
  • 'got mistaken for a celebrity by the celebrity’s biggest fan’ AU
  • 'this person just fell asleep on me in the subway but they’re cute so whatever’ AU
  • 'sorry i set the fire alarm in our building off again for the forty-eighth time i was trying to cook’ AU
  • 'so YOU’RE the douchebag who keeps mowing their lawn while i’m trying to sleep’ AU
  • 'I know nothing about camping will you help me i think i heard a bear’ au
  • WINDOW WASHER AU
  • 'we’re literally the only two kids who ride this school bus maybe we should carpool or make out or something’ AU
  • 'I hired you off craigslist to be my date for a wedding’ AU
  • ’I’m a werewolf but I’m embarrassed to tell you because my wolf form is more like a chihuahua’ AU
  • 'we both tried to rob a bank at the same time’ AU

deliverusfromsburb:

  • I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  • vicious battle over the only left handed desk in the room
  • my roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  • it’s pouring and my final paper is in my backpack so I guess we’re stuck under this tiny awning together. do you think they’d deliver pizza here
  • hey I have to photograph someone for class will you be my model
  • hey I have to take someone’s blood pressure for class will you be my victim
  • variations of the above
  • I know I keep coming to the cookie shop and for some reason it’s always your shift but don’t you dare judge me I need these for my sanity
  • all our friends are drunk
  • it’s 3 am and I’m still in the library studying for finals and I’m losing my grip on reality and I think I just saw a ghost
  • we’re the only two people in this club. what is this club even for
  • humans vs zombies (see you can still have your zombie AU, best of both worlds)
  • we’re the only people who ever talk in discussions it’s awful
  • GROUP PROJECT

cliffnotesofanerd:

  • Neither of us bought the expensive textbook but there is only one copy in the library and it can’t leave the building
  • This awesome professor only has one TA slot and we’re rivals
  • I found your USB drive still in the computer
  • I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria
  • You keep reserving the good study room in the corner of the library with the windows
  • We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  • We’re both donating blood in the blood donation van in the quad to get out of the same class
  • You decked me in the head while you were playing frisbee golf
  • Wait, I actually have a competent lab partner?
  • You’re the RA and you’re trying to bust me for having hermit crabs
  • You’re baking cookies in the communal kitchen at 3am and I’m angry but also really hungry
  • What are you doing at this table at the career fair
  • Waiting for office hours
  • I’ve been sitting in this seat all semester why did you decide to sit in it today
  • Clearly we’re both really uncomfortable at this party
  • You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay.
  • We started racing up the three flights of stairs to class for some reason and we can’t stop
  • You’re REALLY GOOD at using the right search terms for the academic databases and I’m on a deadline

inthebackoftheimpala:

  • my friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  • we’re always at the fitness center at the same time and end up competing on the treadmill
  • Sorry my roommate puked on your shoes
  • Can I borrow a dryer sheet? I ran out and the ones in the vending machine give me a rash
  • Your school mailbox is right next to mine
  • I saw you sneaking captain crunch and cutlery out of the dining hall
  • My roommate borrowed your contraband hotpot and managed to set it on fire
  • You keep using my preferred shower stall in the floor bathrooms when I’m trying to get ready for class
  • My computer crashed and you’re the student worker at the IT center
  • we’re both on althetic teams that aren’t as cool as the football team and they give us shit
  • You’re part of the guerrilla theater club on campus and crashed my class for a performance
  • What do you mean we’re under a tornado warning?

therightnippleofgilgamesh:

  • street performers AU
  • got a crush on the hairdresser and now my hair is slowly getting really short AU
  • we’ve been dating for three months and you’re only now telling me you’re a werewolf AU
  • ended up adopting like three dogs because that pet shelter employee is really hot AU
  • accidentally called a sex line AU
  • we reached for the last box of chicken nuggets in the supermarket at the same time and there’s no way I’m letting you have it asshole AU
  • met at a con where we accidentally cosplayed the fandom otp PLOT TWIST it’s our notp but god damn I wouldn’t mind making out with you AU
  • wore the same obscure fandom shirt in public AU
  • I was singing in public and you decided to join in and now we’re singing a dramatic duet together also what’s your number AU

caswitch:

  • 'i got caught staring at my adult neighbour raking up a bunch of leaves in their backyard and jumping into them and now have to awkwardly pretend i saw nothing’ au
  • met at a pumpkin patch fighting over the same perfectly round and picturesque pumpkin au
  • 'me and my roommate decided to decorate our house for halloween but got really into it, and ended up re-enacting several scenes from nightmare on elm street so loud the neighbours called the police to investigate screams’ au
  • 'i ordered a pumpkin spice latte at starbucks and you made a heart with the foam and i decided to drink it here so i can smile at you some more’ au
  • 'this stranger on the street corner looks like they’re severely unprepared for this cold weather, here, take my scarf, i was planning on donating it to goodwill anyways’ au
  • 'i was unaware that there was an organized zombie crawl going on and i didn’t realize you were in a costume and i screamed in your face because i truly thought i was facing a zombie invasion’ au

wintersoldeirs:

  • met at a charity kissing booth au
  • sex shop employee and slightly flustered customer au
  • highschool party au with spin the bottle
  • neighbours au where person A goes over to person B to tell B to ‘stop singing karaoke it’s 2am’
  • met in a line for a roller-coaster au (bonus: one of them is scared shitless)
  • 'you were the only one at the party who understood my movie reference’ au
  • lifeguard/swimmer or lifeguards au

frostlawyer:

  • incredibly long crosscountry train ride AU
  • police procedural AU
  • bookstore AU
  • reluctant teammates that save the world together AU
  • platonic living together AU
  • lawyers AU
  • stuck-in-an-airport-because-the-flights-were-SO-VERY-delayed-and-it’s-like-two-am AU
  • sent to live with cousins AU
  • pretending to be siblings because of reasons AU
  • teaming up to rescue respective abducted children AU
  • pseudo-adopting-the-runaway-i-ran-into AU
  • forget high school students AU i want a high school teachers AU
  • law school AU
  • on the same college tour AU
  • trapped in a bank during a robbery AU
  • forced to share a table at the coffee shop a couple days in a row because crowded coffee shop and no room AU
  • DOCTORS AU
  • medical school AU
  • ride the same bus together literally every day AU
  • vet clinic AU
  • 'i’m pretending to be ur bff bc u looked VERY uncomfortable with that person at the bar hitting on u’ AU
  • college professors AU
  • on a train together and the train is stopped in the middle of nowhere for some reason AU

puppetamateur:

  • 'oh my god im so sorry my dog usually doesnt jump up on people like this i have no idea what their deal is but also hey there’
  • met while jumping into the same pile of freshly raked leaves in a park (alternatively, one jumps in and they met when no 2 kicks said pile of leaves)
  • waiting behind you in line but ‘excuse you me did i just hear you talking shit about my favourite superhero there SON’
  • 3am and the fire alarm in our apartment complex just went off let me lend you my jacket while we wait on the sidewalk
  • it started as one game of ddr in a games acarde/convention and turned into a two hour long battle and i wont let you wiN
  • 'it was raining so hard i wasnt paying attention as i ran into the side of your car/you/your umbrella but were both drenched now and also hey there’
  • eating in the same diner every morning and the waitress ALWAYS mixes up our orders so why dont we just sit at the same table to save her the trouble
  • well were both here to meet a mutual friend to hang out but they dropped out last second and this is awkward as shit huh
  • 'im sorry but your headphones are so loud i can hear them from here and just what the crap do you think youre listening to thats so two thousand and late’
  • 'wait, have we met before?’ 'no, i think i wouldve remembered’ just in any context just do it okay
  • ghost hunters/haunted house/paranormal investigators au
  • fLORIST AU

thelockwolf:

  • met doing laundry at 2am college au 
  • accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  • picked up the wrong book when we bumped into each other college au
  • hey exchange student why don’t you can come to mine for thanksgiving?? college au
  • did i mention college au
  • walked in on you in the shower college au
  • drunkenly hooked up but you’re dating my roommate who already hates me college au
  • the always-partying kid falls for the always-studying kid college au
  • heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider college au
  • i really hate you but you have the highest grades in class and i need help college au

toxixpumpkin:

  • You’re a rebel by accident cause you get really animated when you talk and hit people in the face leading to fights. Now you just roll with it. I know the truth though.
  • Totally saw you spray paint the principals car and you’ll have to buy me dinner to keep me quiet.
  • I pretty much live in detention and you’re a straight A student here on your first offense. Wanna add another and skip detention with me?
  • Every time I get in a fight you patch me up but now I’m the one patching you up after your tripped on thin air.
  • I’m a super tough punk who hates authority. Your parents are cops who have met me more than once but I like you a lot.
  • Me and my buddies vandalized your backyard trampling your mini garden in the process. Now I feel really shitty cause you’re really upset about this. Look I’ll help fix it okay just stop with the sad faces.
  • Accidentally knocked you out when you got caught in the middle of a fist fight between me and this other kid during school. So I sat with you in the nurses office. Shut up! Punks like me have consciouses to you know!
  • You’re always picking fights and I’m the one who has to use my charm and way with words to stop them from getting out of hand.
  • You’re a police officer and I’m constantly in and out of holding/jail and we get to know each other well so sometimes you give me my favorite treats when no ones looking.
  • I’m always fighting and getting in trouble at school so people avoid me. You frequent the small ice cream shop my parents own and know how kind I am to children and elderly people but I don’t realize this.
  • You give me a piggy back ride (or ride home) after I got out of a brutal fight and can barely stand.
  • I brought my new kitten to school hold her please while I kick this guys ass.
  • Punks can get scared of thunder storms too

sassyfuckingsterek:

  • 'I totally wasn’t breaking into your apartment I locked myself out of mine and I’m directly above yours so I picked your lock and was gonna use the fire escape and climb in through my window’ AU
  • 'You’re new to the building so I have to tell you that I’m a registered sex offender but I was eighteen and they were seventeen and it was a really big misunderstanding please let me explain’ AU
  • 'Every night I go down to the lobby vending machines I smell the best cooking ever coming from your apartment and it’s 12 pm but I’m really hungry and the vending machines aren’t cutting it for me’ AU
  • 'You were dragged into my video game competition and I was beat for the first time in years I have to stalk you and beg you to play me until I can beat you’ AU
  • 'My next door neighbor asking my to check up on their apartment while the away and feed their animals I broke a vase and your my other neighbor please help me’ AU
  • 'I can’t pass stray animals so once a week you see me going into my apartment with a different animal before I find them a home and you decide you want one’ AU
  • 'Everyday I hear you curse at your computer next door lucky I can help you so I barge in and decide to put and end to this but I also see all the porn you watch’ AU
  • 'You see me coming out of my apartment dressed as the opposite gender for a party and get confused the next day when I’m not dressed up and still attractive’ AU

toxixpumpkin:

  • We both attend a boarding school and we aren’t supposed to be out this late. I thought I heard a teacher. Quick hide in this small space with me!
  • I tried to sneak out using my window and now I’m hanging from it can you help me?
  • I was skipping class to sleep in an empty class room and you caught me but the door closed behind you and now we’re trapped inside cause the inside lock is broken.
  • Teacher left us alone in detention wanna make out??
  • I may have brought my pet to school by accident and it may have escaped you have to help me.
  • You just caught me stealing my phone back from the teachers desk and it turns out you were here to steal the lesson plans. Wow you’re a thief….
  • I just accidentally kicked a rock too hard and it broke that window and you saw it happen
  • I run a (technically illegal) snack shop in school and you’re the student council president who caught me
  • You accidentally broke the clay figure the boss keeps on their desk and some how I’m helping you fix it???
  • I accidentally stumbled upon your makeshift hideout on school grounds let me nap here and I won’t say a word.
  • I may or may not be the one who set off those fireworks but on the off chance that I was what would I have to do to get out of trouble???
  • You know that I’m the one who set the teachers ringtone to boys moaning and called them during class now you’re using this against me.
  • Someone has been leaving post it notes with hyper realistic dicks drawn on them around the school and as Student Council President I have to find out who it is

tokiosunset:

  • “I broke your nose at a mosh pit” AU
  • “I hit you with my car and was the only one to visit you in the hospital” AU
  • “You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU
  • “You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” AU
  • “You laughed in a restaurant but you have an ugly laugh and I thought you were choking, so I spent the last three minutes awkwardly humping you while performing the Heimlich maneuver” AU
  • “We met each other on a Sunday morning, both doing our walk of shame” AU
  • “I get really sick on roller-coasters and you had the misfortune of sitting in front of me so, uh… sorry…” AU
  • “You’re the bastard who keeps parking right in front of my house so I retaliated by keying your car and you caught me” AU
  • “I work at a department store and if you take out and unfold a shirt and then leave it one more time I’m going to stuff it down your throat” AU
  • “You broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend’s house and I should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we’re good” AU
  • “My new dealer has friended me on Facebook and I’m unsure of how to react to that” AU
  • “You saw me reading the same book you did and we got into a heated discussion on how much it sucks” AU
  • “This is a five-hour-long plane ride, we’re sitting together and you’re deathly afraid of flying” AU

ironinkpen:

  • “You’re a celebrity and I’m a paparazzo, sorry friend I have to take pictures of you to pay my rent next month” AU
  • “You’re a store clerk and oh shit I just spotted my ex please let me hide behind your desk-thing” AU
  • "I don’t know you but I need some place to stay for the night, my roommate’s getting some” AU
  • “I’m helping my niece’s girl scout troop sell cookies and hell no, fuck off soccer coach, we were here first” AU
  • "This has been a very bad week and you just grabbed the last box of my favorite comfort food at the supermarket” AU
  • “You’ve locked yourself outside of your apartment and there’s a storm rolling in and I pity you so I’ll let you into mine” AU
  • “We’re neighbors who don’t really talk but your cat might have gotten my cat pregnant?? We must raise this little kitty family together” AU
  • “A toddler broke your nose and I may or may not have snapped my thumb during a very intense game of Mario Kart and now we’re both sitting next to each other in the hospital waiting room” AU

xaquaangelx:

  • we’re both third seventh wheels in our groups au
  • you’re an actor in a haunted house and i accidentally punched you in the face when you scared me au
  • i do stupid shit and you’re my doctor au
  • accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came au
  • we both didn’t want to be at this party but look where we are au
  • our pets banged and now one of them is expecting guess i should know your name au
  • i live in your old house and i keep getting your mail au
  • we’re both stuck in this airport cause of a storm and i’m afraid of thunder au
  • you’re a reaper escorting me to the afterlife and the road there is surprisingly long au
  • you saved me from a fire au
  • i work at the lost and found and does this thing seriously belong to you au
  • we’re both lost in the woods au
  • meeting in a nude spa au
  • i’m a florist and you keep buying flowers from me and what do you mean it was my fault we didn’t get together earlier you were buying flowers i assumed you had a lover au
  • you’re an immortal who keeps making history and guess what my best subject is au
  • we’re on the debates team yet we can’t argue about something without yelling au
  • how the hell do i keep managing to get you as my cab driver au
  • you’re a brass player why do you live in an apartment building au
  • you’re my friend/doctor and you’re the one who tells me i’m terminal au

susie1x1:

  • “we live in different countries and got paired up as pen pals for a project for school” au
  • “i crashed your family member’s wedding for the free food but hi there” au
  • “i’m a techie, you’re the lead actor in a show” au
  • “the person running the rollercoaster is really hot” au
  • “sorry that text was meant for someone else but hi there who are you” au
  • “we’re in a breakfast club style all day detention” au
  • “i don’t want to go alone to my ex’s wedding and our mutual friend said you’re free that night” au
  • “i signed up for a dating website to get my mom off my back” au
  • “we’re in the same rocky horror troupe” au
  • “hey asshole quit kicking the back of my seat it’s a 10 hour flight” au
  • “your dad is my least favorite teacher” au
  • “my significant other cheated on me with you, wanna team up to destroy them?” au
  • “i’ve been coming to this club for years but you’re the best performer i’ve ever seen” au
  • “i’m rich and i’m not supposed to talk to servants but the person that scrubs my floor is really cute” au
  • “i was hitchhiking and you picked me up and WHOOPS YOU’RE A -FAMOUS ROCKSTAR” au
  • “we met on a reality show” au
  • “my family owns the hotel your family is staying in” au
  • “someone tripped me in the hallway and you’re the only one that helped me up” au
  • “my parents kicked me out and you’re the only person that bothered to ask the crying, obviously lost kid with a suitcase if something was the matter” au
  • “you accidentally left your ID in a library book” au
  • “i had a one night stand the night before i started a college class and WHOOPS I ACCIDENTALLY BANGED THE PROFESSOR” au
  • “i’m on a school trip to another country and one of the locals is seriously hot” au
  • “i’ve never met you before but i went to a huge party at your house with my significant other - who then proceeded to dump me” au
  • “you’re the cutest waiter at my favorite restaurant” au
  • “we didn’t come to this anime convention together but we dressed up as characters that are a couple in the show and people keep assuming we’re together and asking us to pose for pictures so hi there what’s your name” au
  • “you rescued me from the creepy person that was hitting on me in the bar” au

notallbees:

  • I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  • One of us thinks this is a date but the other thinks it’s an informal job interview
  • I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  • We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  • We took each other’s underwear from the laundromat by mistake
  • I got drunk and sent a sexy naked pic to my ex but I sent it to you instead by mistake
  • We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  • I’m calling to cancel our date because I’m actually in the ER right now, sorry. …I mean, sure, I guess you can come down here, but… okay…
  • We had sex at the office party but we’re both workaholics so we don’t normally date
  • We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  • You bought me at a charity auction and you’re probably a serial killer
  • You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
  • Your appointment with a sexual therapist was right after mine and we got talking in the waiting room
  • We’re on a blind date, but wait a moment… aren’t you that guy who gave me a hand job at a Renaissance Faire a year ago?… what do you MEAN “WHICH ONE”?
  • We both picked the same power ballad at karaoke so we sang a duet
  • We’re both trying to take advantage of the unlimited appetizers deal on separate dates at TGI Fridays and I got the mozzarella sticks and I’m on my sixth plate and I want to die, can I PLEASE swap you for some of your wings?

waitineedaname:

  • 'so you’re the asshole that took my username’ AU
  • 'your URL is really similar to my friend’s and I accidentally messaged you’ AU
  • 'whoops that was supposed to be on anon’ AU
  • 'my self-esteem is shit right now and I noticed you just went through my entire face tag, tell me I’m pretty’ AU
  • 'you were like my first follower, why are you still here’ AU
  • 'I just recognized you from across the store and I don’t know what to do, my training didn’t prepare me for this’ AU
  • 'I think half of my anons are from the same person and I’m trying to track you down’ AU
  • 'we both ship the same obscure pairing, let’s get married right now but first let’s share headcanons’ AU
  • 'I was looking at my new followers and I think you were my crush that moved away in fourth grade’ AU

That’s all I’ve got for now. As I said, if any of these are yours, and you want them removed, just let me know.