i just made my self cry


like here’s all the things i did honestly like from that episode (which just kinda makes me dislike it more):

  • really cute connie and steven interactions
  • connie freaking out and then taking a deep breath (oddly enough i did not recognize that it was a callback to mindful education and just appreciated seeing a character visually show how to react to paranoia)
  • the fact that steven is so mixed on his views with his mom that he couldn’t eat his food while her picture stares down at him
  • that rain quickly shifting from calm to hectic and violent
  • steven spending time with his mom
  • him being self reflective and emotional over feeling like he’s with her
  • the selfie scene (a lot of emotional scenes in su dont really get to me but that scene really just made me tear up. especially that his line afterwards was “you’re just all in my head”)
  • the rain symbolism i liked. i especially liked how when the rain hit his eye it looked like he was crying.

We are but a compilation of those who raised us.

When I am told I look like my father,
my stomach clenches
I guess I look like a recipe for unhappiness.

My mother’s favorite insult is
“Keep it up and you’ll become just like your father”
I do not want to become a king-sized bed made for two that has the pillows for one.
I do not want to want to wake up next to my self-loathing.
I do not want my children to see me cry.
I do not want to become a sad excuse for a person.

I have my mother’s impatience and her capacity for knowledge but
I have my father’s nose and thin lips and sometimes my mirror confuses the two of us.

Children with two brown-eyed parents
have a 25% percent chance of having blue eyes
I am told my eyes remind people of the ocean.
I wonder what the chances are that I will not inherit the life my father leads.

—  “When I was 12 I caught my dad cheating on my mom, he never knew that I knew. I never told anyone.” By Lindsay Brooke
Like I Do // Isaac Lahey Imagine

Hey y’all! I just started this account a few days ago. This is my first imagine so I hope you all like it. It’s pretty lengthy, fair warning. Also, feel free to request anything!

Warning: Smut, Swearing
Word Count: 3,582

6 months. It’s been 6 months since you’ve been broken up with your ex-boyfriend, Isaac Lahey. You spent countless nights crying your self to sleep, wondering where everything went wrong. As far as you knew, things were perfect. You were both so in love, or at least you were. Isaac made things easier. The grass was greener, the sky was bluer and there was a certain brightness that resonated within you whenever you were with him. It’s scary to be that in love, to base your happiness solely on one person. Maybe you knew from the beginning that, that was a bad idea. You just ignored it because the way your heart beat in your chest whenever you saw Isaac smile or the way you felt so safe when he wrapped his arms around you were good enough reasons for you.

He left you without a valid reason and that is what hurt you the most. He left for France without even telling you that, that was where he was going. The words “I just need to focus on myself” echoed in your mind almost every sleepless night. What kind of reason was that? You couldn’t help but feel like you did something wrong. Were you too clingy? Did he find someone better? God, you hoped not. The thought of another girl kissing him and staring into his oceanic eyes while he said he loved her almost made you sick to your stomach. You felt pathetic for pinning over him months after he left. No calls, no texts, nothing…for all you knew, he could be dead.

Allison and Lydia, the two greatest friends you could ever ask for, were tired of seeing you in such a broken state. It broke their hearts to see you lifelessly go through the motions of the day, the same dull look in your eyes. Every day, they tried and tried to make you feel better but unfortunately, nothing seemed to work. You wished you could find a way to be happy again but every time you began to feel a sense of yourself again, something as simple as the color blue to match Isaac’s eyes would send you on a downward spiral again.

One day, your best friends had finally had enough of your wallowing in your sorrows.

“Get up. We’re going to a party.” Allison demanded, barging in your room as if it was her room too. Her and Lydia were both carrying bags from Forever 21, a look of pure determination painted on both of their faces.

You looked up from the book you reading, one of the only distractions you had to offer yourself. “A party? I don’t think so.” You said simply, returning your attention back to your book.

Lydia plopped herself down on your bed and practically tore the book from your hands. “No, Y/N, you’re going and there is nothing you can do or say that will allow us to let you stay in tonight.”

You groaned, rolling over in your bed. You placed your hands over your face and let out an exasperated sigh. “I’m really not up for this and you know that.”

“Look, I know that it’s been tough. I know that you’re still hurting but it’s been 6 months. You can’t let your life stop over a broken heart.” Allison began, taking a seat next to Lydia. “It sucks but you eventually have to move on.”

You knew she was right and you hated her for it. “Can’t I just have one more day of wallowing in my self-pity?”

Lydia shook her head. “Absolutely not. You’ve had enough time.” She stood up abruptly and practically dragged you out of bed. “Now, come on, Allison and I bought some really cute outfits for tonight.”

It took everything in you to actually put effort into getting ready. Going to a party was the last thing on your list of things you wanted to do to recover from your broken heart. However, you knew that Allison and Lydia were not about to let you get away with staying home another night. If you can’t beat them, might as well join them, right?

It took about a solid two hours, but you were finally all ready to go out. Putting make up back on your face and wearing more than just a sweat shirt and sweat pants put a little color back in your eyes. Honestly, you were slightly excited to go out and that surprised you. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. The three of you piled into Allison’s car and headed to whatever party they were taking you too.

“Wait, where exactly are we going?” You piped up, the realization that they could very well be kidnapping you settling in. They were your best friends, so they probably wouldn’t do that but you never know.

“Stiles convinced Derek to allow him to throw a party in his loft.” Lydia answered excitedly.

Your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets. “Are you kidding?”

She shook her head. “Nope. It took awhile but eventually he just gave in.”

You settled back against the seat, clearly impressed. You would have to congratulate Stiles for his breakthrough later. In a few short moments, Allison pulled into the parking garage and you headed into Derek’s loft. Anxiety bubbled inside you. You don’t know why but being at a party for the first time in a long time gave you so much anxiety. It’s like you suddenly forgot every social rule in existence. Allison gripped tightly on your hand, probably half because she could sense your anxiety and half because she was scared you would bolt at any second.

You could feel the music pulse through your veins as soon as you were inside the loft. To your surprise, the loft was packed with people. Black and blue lights illuminated the once dull loft. You weren’t even positive that you were in the same pack meeting loft as before. Immediately, Scott jumped up the stairs and placed a sweet kiss on Allison’s lips.

“Welcome to the party, guys.” He smiled. “Nice to see that you got out of bed today.” Scott turned his attention to you and you blushed slightly.

“Thanks.” You replied meekly.

“Come on, let’s dance!!” Stiles made his appearance known. He grabbed both of you and Lydia’s hands and dragged you both to the dance floor.
You knew that you would look stupid standing in the middle of the dance floor not dancing. You forced yourself to feel the beat of the music, moving your body. Eventually, you found yourself smiling and having a good time, something you haven’t felt in such a long time.

At some point, a boy with sandy blonde hair and green eyes slid up behind you. Normally, you would have turned him away. There was no way you were looking for another guy and even if it was just dancing. For some reason, you were feeling quite free. You deserved to have a good night and dancing with a guy wasn’t going to kill you.

His hands slid down to your hips and even with the slight uncomfortable feeling that was in your stomach, you kept dancing. You glanced over at Lydia who gave you a thumbs up and mouthed “he’s cute” at you. You smiled back at her and continued to dance. You don’t know how long you dance with this mystery boy when you heard a voice that brought chills to your skin. It was a voice that you were certain you would never hear again.

“I think you’re done here.” The voice said and you looked up to meet eyes with a certain blue ones that made your heart stop.

The boy removed his hands from your hips, a very confused and slightly irritated expression on his face. “What’s your deal, man?”

All Isaac had to do was flash his eyes yellow and the boy was gone in a heartbeat. There you stood in the middle of the dance floor in complete and utter shock. There was no way Isaac was standing in front of you. This had to be some sick, twisted dream that you would wake up from any second. Your eyes trailed over him, your heart beating so loudly that you could barely hear the music. His hair was shorter and a slight stubble covered his chin. He was too dreamlike to be real. He turned to face you and you looked him in the eyes for the first time in what seemed like forever.

“Hello Y/N.” He shouted over the music, a slow smile spreading across his face.

Anger suddenly started to boil up inside of you. Who the hell did he think he was, showing up out of nowhere and scaring away the cute boy you were dancing with? He didn’t have a right to do that. He lost his entitlement to you the second he decided you weren’t worth sticking around in Beacon Hills. Part of you wanted to slap him and part of you was still in utter shock that he was standing in front of you.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” You shouted, the sharpness of your voice surprising yourself.

“Can we talk?” Isaac ignored your question and asked one of his own. You didn’t really have a chance to respond before he lightly gripped on to your arm and pulled you through the crowd of people. He maneuvered you through the crowd of people and up the stairs to wear his room used to be in the loft. As soon as you reached his destination, he let go of your arm and you crossed your arms over your chest.

“I seriously have no idea what the hell you think you’re doing.” You shouted, clearly aggravated.

“Apologizing.” He stated.

Your eyes widened and you scoffed. “Apologizing? You’re about six months too late.” You responded coolly.

“Y/N, I didn’t know what I was doing back then-” He started but you cut him off.

“That is the stupidest excuse in the book.”

“Please, just let me finish.” He pleaded, taking a step towards you. You immediately took a step back. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I was scared. You deserved a better life than I could give you. By dating me, you got involved with all this werewolf drama and I figured that without me, you’d be safer.”

You almost laughed at his explanation. “Really? You left me because you were scared for my safety? Did it ever occur to you that whether or not you were in my life that I was still going to be involved with all this werewolf stuff? I became best friends with Allison and Lydia. I got super close to Scott and Stiles. Hell, I even clicked with Derek! Regardless if I was with you or not, I’m still going to be surrounded by all of this!”

Isaac just stared at you. He opened his mouth just to close it again. Your rolled your eyes and turned on your heel. Of course he grew quiet. He knew you were right and you definitely knew you were right.

“Where are you going? Back to your new boyfriend?” Isaac responded with an evident bitter tone.

You turned around sharply. “You don’t get to be jealous. You don’t get to be angry over me being with some over boy. You left me, Isaac. You went all the way to France and never once bothered to call or text me. You do not get to show up here, unannounced and be angry. I moved on. Isaac.” You knew you were lying. You hadn’t moved on, not even in the slightest. But you couldn’t let him know that. You couldn’t be weak around him. There was no way you were going to give him the satisfaction that you hadn’t moved on.

“You moved on?” There was a painful twinge in his voice and it made you cringe.

“Yes.” You said softly. You didn’t care if you hurt him. He hurt you far worse.

You heard him step closer to you and this time you didn’t move. “Does he know you as well as I do?” You heard Isaac ask. When you didn’t answer, he took another step forward. You could feel him behind you, the heat radiating off his body. “Does he know how thunderstorms scare you and how laying tightly against someone’s chest is the only way you’ll relax?” Again, you emitted no response.

Isaac got even closer to you, his hands landing on your hips. “Does he know how you can’t sleep unless it is absolutely freezing in your room?” You wanted to respond but you couldn’t. It was like your voice box had ran away, kind of like you wanted to do right now. The grip he hand on your hips grew tighter as he pulled you flush against him, your back touching his chest. He craned his head down, his lips pressing against the shell of your ear.

“Does he know how you like to be touched?” He whispered huskily in your ear. You shivered involuntarily, cursing yourself for having such a reaction to one simple little question. His lips pressed against the side of your neck and they trailed downwards. You wanted to push him off. You shouldn’t have been allowing him to touch you. But of course, your body failed the thoughts in your brain. “Does he know about this little spot on your neck that makes you weak without fail?” He mumbled against your skin before kissing the spot where your neck dips into your collar bone.

His lips brushed up and down your neck and your breathing was sporadic. Your heart pounding so loud that Isaac wouldn’t even need his werewolf hearing to hear it. He hands left your hips and he lightly trailed his fingers up and down your arms, sending shivers down your spine.  His lips latched on to that one spot on your neck and you knew you were completely gone. You closed your eyes and leaned into him, a slight moan escaping from your mouth. You could feel him smile in satisfaction against your skin.

Isaac moved away from your neck and swiftly turned you around. His hands cupped your face and he leaned down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. You melted in his arms, his lips molding so perfectly to yours. So much time had passed and he still knew exactly how you liked to be kissed. His hands left your face and trailed down to the back of your thighs. He tapped them slightly, signalling for you to jump up. You jumped and he hoisted you up, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist.

He pressed you against the wall, a moan coming from you at the sudden coldness against your back. He attacked your neck with kisses, trailing farther and farther south. Your fingers racked through his short curls, earning a shiver from him. Isaac pushed you both off the wall and carried you to his old bed, gently plopping you down before crawling on top of you. He kissed you again, the passion making the blood pump faster through your vein. His hands slid underneath your shirt, pulling it over your head and breaking the kiss. Isaac began to kiss down your chest, kissing the tops of your breasts and reaching behind your back to un-clip your bra.

He tossed your bra somewhere, immediately taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You whimpered softly, shutting your eyes tightly. He sucked on your one nipple while his hand pinched at the other one. You could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter with every passing second. Feeling Isaac touch you like that again was sending you in complete oblivion. Isaac trailed kissed from your chest down to the waistband of your jeans, carefully un-doing them and pulling them down your legs, followed by your panties.

You were completely exposed to him and even though this wasn’t the first time, you felt self conscious. Who knows what other girls he was with while in France? His eyes raked over your body and all you could think about was how he was surely comparing your body to the other girls he had been with. Almost as if he was reading your mind, he whispered a sincere “Christ, you are so fucking beautiful.”

You could feel your cheeks heat up and he smiled before kissing up and down your inner thigh. You were throbbing at this point, so complete desperate for some kind of relief. 6 months was a long time without sex, especially with Isaac. He slowly kissed up, the anticipation building with each kiss that was closer to your core. You were a mewling mess. “Please Isaac, just stop teasing me.” You begged.

You could feel him smirk against your inner thigh before finally you felt his lips on the place you needed him the most. He licked expertly against your clit. You arched your back, moaning his name. With every suck and lick, he brought you closer to the edge, your toes digging into the sheets of the bed. Without warning, he slid a finger inside of you, curling up in just the right way. You were so close. “Oh my g-god.”

Isaac could feel you clenching around his finger. He added a second one, lightly scraping his teeth against your clit. Within seconds, you tipped over the edge. Your orgasm spread through your entire body, your legs shaking as Isaac allowed you to ride out your orgasm. Once your body stopped convulsing, he sat up and pulled his shirt over his head. He undid his belt and pulled off the remaining garments.

He hovered over you, resting his forehead against yours. You could see the lust swirling around in his eyes but this was so much more than just make-up sex. He still looked at you the way he did the first night he ever told you he loved you. Your heart swelled up and you swore you had stopped breathing.

“Are you sure that you want to do this?” He asked, slightly panting.

You nodded. Isaac searched your eyes for any sign of doubt and when he didn’t see any, he kissed you passionately, positioning himself at your instance. Slowly, he pushed himself inside and you both moaned simultaneously. He gave you a few seconds to adjust to the feeling before he began thrusting in and out. You scratched your nails down his back, your moans and his groans bouncing off the concrete walls. The other werewolves in the loft could probably hear you guys but you didn’t care.

“I forgot how you could you felt.” Isaac grunted, speeding up his movements.

With every thrust, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to that edge again. Isaac’s eyes were closed, his mouth was slightly agape and the look of pure ecstasy on his face. He slipped his hand between the two of you, starting a figure-eight pattern with his fingers on your clit. You moaned loudly and arched your body into his. You felt yourself start to clench around Isaac and his movements began to get sloppy.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m so close..” he moaned breathlessly in your ear.

A few seconds later you felt yourself fall over the edge, your orgasm rippling through your body like a wild fire. Isaac wasn’t too far behind you, collapsing on top of you. You both were breathing heavily, a thin layer of sweat covering your bodies. Isaac eventually rolled off of you and you both stared blankly at the ceiling. The silence was overwhelming and the reality of what you just did started to sink in. Guilt and humiliation ran through you. You were supposed to be angry at him. He broke your heart and left you in shambles for six long months for God sakes!

You suddenly shot up, full intentions of leaving before Isaac grabbed your hand. “Y/N, wait.” You relaxed at his touch and slightly adjusted your body so you were facing him. “You don’t know how sorry I am. I know that there is nothing in this world I can do or say that will make up what I did to you but I swear I’m going to die trying.”

The intensity of his words and the look in his eyes told you exactly how he felt. “You broke me, Isaac.”

He sighed heavily. “I know and I’m never going to forgive myself for that. Y/N, please, just give me another chance. There was not a day that went by where I didn’t think of you. I swear I was going crazy without you but I just truly believed you would be safer without me. I still love you and I know that I always will. Just please, let me try and make this right.”

Your heart skipped a beat when he told you he loved you. His pleading eyes were slowly withering you down. “Fine. I’m only allowing this because to be honest, I know that I’m always going to love you too.”

I had just turn on the live stream and I got to see my babies win their MAMA daesang. My heart was already a mess and seeing Namjoon like that wasn’t helping it!

In this moment, when I saw how emotional they were getting I was feeling more and more on the verge of crying - the main culprit is hidding right there!

Seeing Jin crying was a mixture feeling: my ARMY self was on a roller coaster of emotions of happiness and being so proud of them + how can he look so beautiful while crying, dammit Kim Seokjin and your visuals!

Here it is! Kookie crying was my downfall T.T
Being Jungkook the member that usually doesn’t cry, that fact that you can see him on this state just made me finally burst out crying T.T

And then I saw TaeTae with teary eyes and my heart got even more constricted. You can cry Taehyung, it’s ok, happy tears are beautiful and you guys deserved this.

I was already missing YoonSeok and guessing that Hobi was crying and then I got this surprise!! Our sunshine consoling a crying Yoongi *o*
Nope, all my barriers went away after this:

I was crying just like Suga and with the biggest smile I had on me. 

I love BTS. They are so hardworking and they deserved the recognition they got this year for their work and uncondicional love for us ARMYs.

Always hurt

Tag : @stevrgers @natalieroseg @gemini-indecisiveness @msmermaid01   ( tell me if you want to be tagged because I believe I’ll make a part three)

Part two to Always second, Part one can be found here . You all might want to kill me after this……. sorry… I’ll go die in a hole now.

Warnings: Kinda sad, argument, crying, mention of death ( what????), self doubt  and I think that’s it.


Y/N ‘s P.O.V.

I walked into school on Monday, feeling like there was no point being here, no point in going to school if I’m just going to zone out. no point in being in a place when the only person that made you feel like you belonged isn’t around anymore, isn’t there to make you feel safe. I walked up to my locker and put in my combo, and opened the lock, then opened my locker and a piece of paper fell out and on to the ground. I bent down to pick it up and saw it was a letter. I put my stuff in my locker and closed it and walked to the only place that no one knew about, under the stairs in a non busy hallway. I sat down and opened the letter and read it  “ Y/N  I was stupid for what I did and how I treated you it was unfair. I know I hurt you but if you let me I could make it up to you, meet me at Pop’s after school so I can show you that I’ll put you first and show you how much I care. - Jughead “. I looked at the paper and tears started to fall,  I wiped my face and this burst of anger went through me and I got up and went to find the person reasonable for my anger. I walked through the hallway and saw the familiar grey hat and sprinted towards  him grabbed his arm as I walked by and dragged him  outside of the school, I stopped and turned to him and crumpled up the letter and threw it at him and said “  What the hell is this?! You think you can write a damn letter about how sorry you are for how things were and that you want to fix it?! You think you can just say your sorry and everything will be how it was?! Sorry Jug but that’s not how life is.” It felt good to get that off my chest, felt good to yell at him for hurting me. “ Y/N I know  it won’t fix everything but I wanted to show you that I want to fix us, fix what I did, and I know sorry doesn’t cut it but it could get us in the right direction, please Y/N just come to Pop’s after school and you’ll see that I’m going to put you first when you need it, I know I really screwed up the other night I know you needed me-” i cut him off before he could finish “ Your damn right I needed you, my mom was hit by a car Jug! She’s in coma , she could die any day and the only person I could count on was you! And your damn book was more important than helping no fell like I was dying on the inside, not fell like I was alone. But… but you didn’t show, you just forgot and I don’t know if I can forgive you for that.” I wiped my tears away and said “ Jug please just give me space for a little while okay? I just can’t be near you right now, it hurts too much” and with that I walked away from him and started towards my first period class, I couldn’t look at him every time I did it just remind me that maybe I’ll never be able to count on him, on anyone.


Well that didn’t go well did it? sorry it’s short and only from reader pov, but I’m making a part three to this and should be up soon. Literary cried the whole time I wrote this I’m really sorry.

“Not so long ago, I had really bad tonsillitis. My sister, who’s also my roommate, was at work, so no one was home… It really hurt so I couldn’t even go to school, and I was crying in self-pity. But then suddenly my mom told me she just got to Seoul and she’s coming to my house to see me. My hometown is Iksan in the Jeolla province. Her coming made me cry even harder.”
“It must be really nice when your mom comes and takes care of you.”
“Yeah, but… there’s also been many times that she came when the house was messy… I’d get a message saying, ‘Mom will be at the station in 30 minutes.’ I’d shoot back, ‘Mom, why did you come without saying anything’ and head to clean the house right away.”

“얼마 전에 편도염에 심하게 걸렸어요. 같이 사는 언니도 일 가서 집에는 아무도 없고… 너무 아파서 학교도 못 가고, 서러워서 울고 있었어요. 근데 갑자기 엄마가 지금 서울에 왔으니까 집에 찾아온다고 하는 거예요. 원래 집은 전라도 익산이거든요. 그 때 정말 많이 울었어요.”
“어머니가 올라오셔서 챙겨주시면 좋으시겠어요.”
“네. 근데… 집이 더러울 때 갑자기 찾아 오시는 경우가 많아서… ‘엄마 30분 후에 역에 도착해’ 라고 연락이 와요. ‘ 왜 말도 없이와, 엄마’ 그러고 바로 집치우러 가죠.”

I’ve said a hundred times we could be just friends.
—  This was after a few years working together, about a year talking on and off as he had an on again off again girlfriend. I was sort of just the side person for when he was single, drunk and lonely. When he began talking to me, my own self worth was so low. I was a bit overweight he was gorgeous and he made me feel wanted. After a while it because something he knew he could do. I’d respond because the one hour he made me feel good and confident was worth the 3 weeks I would spend crying afterwards feeling to fat and ugly to be good enough. Tonight… he told me he met someone. I doubt it. I really believe he just doesn’t want to tell me he was never attracted to me outside of being drunk. He’s dodged the question on numerous occasions. Well tonight, in throwing in my towel and this submission is the start of me working on me- so when he does come back, I will have enough self worth and love for myself that I won’t fall into his trap.

I amuse myself because Catherine is so dreamy and when he made trouble she’s just like “Jay baby” so soft and disappointed but cherishes him so much and Jason is like “oh my beautiful mother I am sorry I cry” and they’re both like “oh~”

And then Bruce is like “JASON PETER” and Jason is like BOOKING it because he’s like ??? yelling??? at me?? and death is not nearby??? DOES NOT COMPUTE

My Mother

So, I just feel the need to write this down. Get it out of my head. So my mother voted for Trump. Supported Trump. Afraid the Hillary would “Take our Guns.” As the election unfolded, I started freaking out. Crying, posting on Facebook about the absolute shitstorm about to hit the LGBTQIA+ community. Come this morning, I get a phone call from her. I’m in no mood to talk to I put it off until like a few minutes ago (made her wait nearly 12 hours).

She didn’t know. Had no idea Trump would be so bad. She thought, really thought, that “Well the LGBT community is so big, they couldn’t pass any laws against you.” Like what? WHAT?! How can you? What? I had to explain that to her.

She thought the government not capable of rounding up people, of really gathering people. I had to dispel that notion and she got quieter. I mentioned the attacks by Trump supporters already happening. She told me Trump had called for all people to be united and together. “That’s great mother, but people are still being attacked.” “They just want their to be calm and peace.” “I’m sure they said that but that doesn’t change the facts that attacks have already happened.” Quieter still.

I mentioned all the laws that could get repealed and protections taken down. “People wouldn’t stand for that. People would riot if their loved ones were taken, abused or hurt.” I reminded her that for a huge huge number of LGBT, the only loved ones they have are OTHER LGBT. That tons of families disown their own kids for coming out. That rocked her. She didn’t know. Had no idea that THAT was the UR story. The prototypical story. “Family kicked me out.”

I think she realized then what this meant, what was going to happen. She got very quiet. Then just, “Be safe.” and “I love you.”

I just didn’t know she didn’t know. She took for granted that our story was every story. She’d loved and accepted me and it didn’t occur to her that the same was not true for the majority. She sounded physically revolted when I told her families will abandon their kids. Like, that possibility had never crossed her mind. It was such an innocent, naive view of the world. I feel kind of bad now that I’ve broken it but she had to know.

My friend who had funded a Metalocalypse page for the national community in my country has been found dead last night. I have no words and I can only cry because it makes no fucking sense you can’t die from a stroke in your early 30s, you just can’t
He made the page six years ago, made me an admin when I still smelled like milk and it boosted my self-esteem, my creativity and my love for Metalocalypse. I feel sick this is not fair it’s not

truce cuddle? (tweethearts Lin x Cheynne)

{A/N: Who’s a whore for self indulgence! I am! so this is just a full self indulgence, self insert, just me being a whore for imaging myself with Lin…any whore enjoy…or don’t up to you…yes the lip biting selfies I had to take just for this…I have never felt more like a fool in my life..}

@hippy_time_ has been on my laptop recently…how I know..

@lin_manuel wow…the betrayal…the hurt…you had to export that before saving it…I trusted you…

@hippy_time_ never trust me….I have made you cry so I could see if a song would work…

@lin_manuel true….also you all think you were crying because of burn…he pulled a full Alexander Hamilton on me…talk about tears…

@hippy_time_ i indeed was sleeping on the couch…for 3 days…

@lin_manuel would have been longer but I need my big spoon to sleep…

@hippy_time_ and our couch is as comfy as a collage dorm room bed…

Hmmm seems @lin_manuel likes to kill me while I am on the tube..BOY…button ya damn shirt…gonna give the old woman on the street rain showers in they lady gardens they haven’t had since 1945

@hippy_time_ I sent that in hopes only you would see it…until the new playlist…

@lin_manuel you are such a whore for the fans…you know you are killing them slowly…you know what you are doing…and all I say is…RUDE.

@hippy_time_ says you miss ‘is my highlighter on point?’ I am called old man miranda for a reason your early 20′s lingo is lost on me

@lin_manuel don’t start a war you will lose…

@hippy_time_ Bring.It.On

@lin_manuel hmm member this?

@hippy_time_ no but you definitely remember this

@hippy_time_ and this

@hippy_time_ and my fav and new phone background 

@hippy_time_ and my lock screen is just as good

@lin_Manuel wow…I…you…god damn it all the photos I am willing to share you already tweeted out! you are such a…ugh..

@hippy_time_ so I won the American revolution and the sexy photo war

she is the true sexy photo taker war winner….I am the shmuck who has to keep up with my thirst trap photos…she still hasn’t explained what that means…

@lin_manuel look at every selfie you have ever posted…thats a thirst trap…


@lin_manuel just asked “so thats why those women tagged me in all those photos of their butts” I just nodded…he then looked at my butt and said “yours is better….main reason I have my creep shot folder”

@lin_manuel has a folder of creep shots of my butt….I am so done with him…

@hippy_time_ you have a whole folder of my hands, forearms, and back…I think my folder makes us even…

@lin_manuel truce cuddle?

Truce cuddle
*photo of me and Lin cuddling on the couch*

damelola  asked:

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (◠‿◠✿)

I got this TWICE! I feel very loved.  So thank you to the lovely @damelola and the fabulous @subcutaneous7 for thinking of me.

You want me to talk about my fic and shamelessly self-promote myself?  Well… if you insist.  Hey, I’m an actor… sorry not sorry.

1.  More About You - My longest supercat fic, which is ridiculous considering I’d like to write a novel someday.  But I’m wicked proud of it.

2. Falling Up - a collab with my ever favorite @rtarara who has become the dearest of friends and remains a singular talent.  Most of this is her doing anyway.  She wrote Astra and edited the damn thing cuz I’m useless.  I mostly just made Alex cry a lot.

3. From the Desk of… - The infamous epistolary with the fantastic @fictorium.  This fic has challenged and pushed me in ways I never thought it could.  The epic slow-burn, the dreaming up of new adventures, the growth and journeys of the characters.  I’ve never been prouder or more protective of anything in my life.  I want to squeeze the life out of this fic (and Lola) every single day.

4.  Weakness In Me - I include this, not because it’s necessarily a favorite of mine (tho it kind of is) but mostly because I think it’s some of my best work.  I took Kara to a new place in this one.  The dialogue is really strong and it isn’t as fluffy as most of my stuff.  I holds a really special place in my heart.

5. The Fall Is Only The Beginning - I agonized over including this because I feel like this fic could have been so much more than it is, but I rushed it.  I’ve got 3 or 4 like that and any one of them could have landed here.  But I love this fic a lot.  It’s got Eliza and a fun ending so…

I’m sorta like a writing mom.  I love all my fics.  Even the ones that aren’t very good.

Thanks for giving me a chance to talk about myself. 

I need to take a second to thank my constant perfect beta @reginalovesemma 

She pushes me to be more gay every day (and to be a better writer).  In all seriousness, she edits like a mofo and is the reason my fics are post-worthy.

She squees over Vasquez with me and lets me see her gifsets before she posts them.  I’m exceedingly lucky to have her.


I needed a recovery fic after yesterday and I can’t even think about Death Note without also feeling like I might cry, so I wrote more incredibly self-inulgent KaiShin.  Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed by how schmoopy this got (and how long, all things considered), but I hope you guys like it.  8)

Kaito sighed, gazing down at the letter in his hands with dismay.  No scholarship unless he turns 24, has a child, or gets married.  Sitting down at the kitchen table, he runs through his options.  As he has barely turned 21, he can’t conceivably turn 24 in time to get his loans.  He’s not ready to become a father, nor does he know any girl willing to have a kid with him.  And, well, the only girls he knows are his best friend and her girlfriend, so they’re completely out of the question anyway.

Which left marriage.

He hummed to himself.  He could legally get married at 21.  That would be the easiest course of action, but the problem was who could he marry?  The girls were out, obviously.  They were dating and he didn’t really want to get in the way of that.  He’d rather spend the night at an aquarium than marry Hakuba.

Sighing, he pulled out his phone.  He only had one option, so he might as well give it a shot.

“can u marry me”

Keep reading

Just a little reminder to everyone following this blog. 

I miss you. You where like a family to me, I loved to spoil you, to make you cry and laugh and sigh, and I’m sorry I can’t do it now. But i didn’t forget about you. This roleplay page gave to me the love of my life, friends, self steam, made me a better person, and I will never forget about that. 

As soon as I get money I will come back. As soon as I’m able to dye myself and get me some time I will come back. But for once I have plans, plans that need 100% of me, not all the time, but enough for me needing to focus on that and anything else. 

I love you tumblr, I love you followers, and I didn’t forget about you. I promise.

With all my love, Eliseo Ariel <3 

I was honest, with another woman, about not feeling up to a prior commitment. I just cant – I can’t go surround myself with people who don’t care, doing something I don’t care about, and listening to everyone laugh around me, wen I barely made it out of bed this morning and do not wish to cry or panic in front of everyone. I set it all before her, told her my struggles, how hard it was for me, and that in the interest of helping myself I need to back off. 

Her reply?

Yes I understand but….

so anyway, i am still going and I can’t stop crying about it. I’ve convinced myself that it was selfish to even propose the idea in the first place and am now embarrassed that I even asked. 


It’s been a very long time since i’ve cried during a video, this one was very important though.

@markiplier I relate to you so much atm. Your feeling of aimless wandering is how i am right now. I have no idea what i want to do with my life. The classes i’m taking are not what I want to do and i just feel completely lost, and stepping into working full time at a place rather than just going to school, is scary, especially without a degree. But ya, i feel like i don’t know my self enough to go to school any more, it’s a struggle and i’m just not enjoying it and i’m an introvert as well where I just find it increasingly harder to mingle with more people naturally, which is mainly why I havn’t left my crappy job, sure they take advantage of me but since everyone knows me there I can be myself .

But thats not the part that made me cry

The part that made me cry was the amount of time he started talking about us. His amount of admiration at the fan art we’ve done was overwhelming. Then he said the words “ you saved me”. That was something i’ve heard fans say to Mark before or Jack or any other youtuber, but (besides Jack) usually youtubers dont throw it back at us. Its a really interesting thing because as fans you really don’t think you’re doing much. For me i’ve draw many youtubers because i just love them so much and it’s the only way to get it out and express. I don’t know, i feel like this video is just what i needed.

When I change my mind
You are just in time
When I lose my faith
And I’m afraid to fly
You are by my side
We will be ‘till the end
Forever best friends

Originally posted by disneywinx

I’m especially upset about this episode because in my head, MK is neurodivergent and like No??? the self-indulgent version of her i’ve got in my head wouldn’t do this???

The entire conversation leading up to the end section was really fucking ablest and made me want to scream out loud

I’m usually quite forgiving when it comes to this sort of thing in Tanis because it’s usually just plot holes and stuff but I’m really not happy about this

I still love the concept of the show, there were some really great bits in this episode, and I’m still listening, but it’s