EMOJI MOVIE REVIEW
“lo prometido es deuda” we say in my neighborhood, it p much means “what you promise is a debt”. I made a promise to talk about The Emoji Movie once we watched it on streaming, and.. this one is a hard one.
Not because it’s hard to watch itself, while that’s true and I do not recommend wasting any penny watching it, the real trouble with reviewing it is that…
It brings nothing new.
EVERYTHING that happened in the movie It’s something I’ve seen before in other animated movies, the whole plot is a mix-mash of Inside Out and Wreck It Ralph and The Lego Movie, the characters are so bland that I literally don’t know how to describe our main protagonist without saying that he is, welp, the main protagonist.
There’s your classic “alternative girl”, the beta and the annoying comic relief.
None of the jokes made me crack up because none of the jokes had a good phasing or a well though punchline, a lot of them where based on “POP CULTURE REFERENCE LOL XD #YOLO” and others where pretty overused if not incredibly lazy.
The story ain’t better, Gene is just your average kid that no one understands, he has the gimmick that he can make more than one face, and that apparently means he is defective. They have this big machine that “scans them” every time someone in the phone uses an emoji (instead of taking a pic once and staying with it but whatev) and our protagonist fucks it up and has to find a hacker to help him become “normal”.
But ohh no why you wanna be normal if you are SPECIAL and as SPECIAL people is ALWAYS going to love you in the end with no doubt even if they hated you at first for the exactly same problems and the villain is just obsessed with everyone being the same because EVIL, you gotta be yourself and never change and yeah yeah I’ve seen it all before and you all have seen it all before.
Guess who is the villain, just take a fucking guess, who do u think it is?
I think the worse part is that you can clearly see that at least SOMEONE in the animation or direction department gave the tiniest little shit about the project, theres two scenes that are pretty entertaining to look at because they are pretty well animated, I mean yes of course is Sony they got the money and no afraid of wasting it, but towards the movie you can just… feel that ton of the people working on it is living a hell, is like towards the whole movie they are whispering to you “please safe me I didn’t ended my whole career in CalArts to this”.
The Just Dance and Spotify parts where the best ones, they are short and theres some incredibly bad jokes in the middle but it had some creativity behind it, guess ya gotta stick with the less worse of the bunch.
Just Dance and Candy Crush felt incredibly unnecessary, have I mentioned that Major Lazer is constantly stuck into the movie? they even play Bubble Butt… sadly they skipped the part where Tyga says “I ate the pussy fast, I’m about to start burpin’.”
The ending is exactly what you would expect, he saves the day everyone is happy he turns into a favorite in town and by the kid he gets the respect he deserved and the girl and yeah… Is it the worse movie I’ve ever seen? nah, Sausage Party still takes that cake, but it’s a pretty close second.
My recommendation? watch it online for free with friends to crack at how bad it is, you can find it updated on PornHub (that ain’t a joke), ah, and don’t make shot games around it, I talk by experience.