i just love them so much i want to punch myself

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

An Aquarius looked at me, and smiled. She places a hand on my cheek and said, “I’ve watched people come and go out of my life, and here I am hoping you’d be different..”

An Aries looked at me, she slowly inched herself closer to me. Planted a kiss on my lips and said, “I hate you’re so damn emotional. I hate you for reading me like a book, but my god, you make me so damn vulnerable.”

A Cancer looked at me and smiled. She slowly sat up and placed herself ontop of me, looking down at me. She grabbed both of my hands and squeezed it softly and said, “You’re the one. I can feel it, and I’m serious…”

A Capricorn placed her cigarette back in the ashtray and looked at me, she slowly grabbed my arm and wrapped it around her and scooted herself closer and smiled at me and said, “I would never want you to let go of me.. Got it?”

A Gemini rubbed her butt on my crotch. A smile on her face. She turned around and asked for a kiss, then suddenly she pushed after it got heated and said, “Promise me, you’ll only look at me. Even when I’m distant, come and find me.”

A Leo looked at me and gaze into my eyes and said, “You’re always listening to me talk about myself. How about you start tonight because I’ve been dying to know about your day. Let’s start about our secrets. I’ll go first. I hate being a Leo..” She laughed at how silly the secret was and she kissed me and said she was just playing, and was going to tell me a real secret. We laid and talked, and we opened up a new level in our relationship. Trust.

A Libra came crawling to me and placed herself between my legs, she falls over and rests her head on my chest and smiled at me. We stayed like this for minutes and we talked about her work and how her day was, and did nothing but talked the whole night.

A Pisces laughed and slowly sat up, she sat ontop of me and grabbed my hands and kissed them softly. She smiled down at me, squeezing my hands in hers. Suddenly tears rolled down her cheek, but she laughed softly and said, “I don’t know what to feel around you, but they’re good. They’re good feelings and you.. you bring out the best in me.”

A Sagittarius rubbed my back as we laid in silence. Then suddenly she lets out a sigh and played with my hair and said, “I don’t know what to do with you. You make me think too much, and I can’t stop. You make me crazy, you stupid fool.” She laughed and continued to play with my hair.

A Scorpio turned to me one night and whispered enough for me to hear, “I love you. I know I don’t say it to you as much, and I know you. You need reassurance every day, and I’m sorry that I don’t know how to express myself like you want me to, but.. I love you, so very much. I just want you to know that you’re the best gift life has given me, and I appreciate you. I love you.” She then leaned down to kiss my cheek and then slowly punched my back playfully. “You asshole..” she giggles.

A Taurus rested her head on my chest as I played with her hair. Suddenly she began to talk about how we met, and how she saw me and fell in love with me completely. How she was eager to show me into her world and bring a part of me that no one has ever seen out. She laughed and slowly inched closer to kiss my chin, and continued on talking about us. The Past. The Present. And our future together.

A Virgo pulled away from my arms, a soft smile on her face. She looks at me and then settles back into my arms and we stared at each other for what seemed like hours. She kissed my nose and said, “You only get to feel this once. Different in forms, but this, this is only once in a lifetime and you better not let me go, you hear me?”

—  Pillow Talk
100 Ways to Say ‘I Hate You’

I saw a post about 100 ways to say ‘I love you’, so I thought I’d make the anti-version if it doesn’t exist already. Roleplayers, send these to each other for angst reasons! Tw for emotional abuse, language, and some major rejection themes, though some  them are joking and could be used for friendly rivals or pals who play-insult one another. Change or add pronouns as necessary.

  1. “You’re a disappointment to me.”
  2. “I don’t care if you live or die.”
  3. “I used to care about you. Now? I regret every second I wasted.”
  4. “How do you think I feel? I’m pissed off!”
  5. “Go. Just go.”
  6. “If you come back, I won’t be here.”
  7. “I’ve never despised someone as much as I despise you.”
  8. “Ha! You think I care about you? What do you think I am, desperate?”
  9. “I regret ever saying ‘hello’.”
  10. “Leave and don’t come back, ever.”
  11. “Remember when we first met? I wish I didn’t.”
  12. “You’re the worst mistake I’ve ever made.”
  13. “Don’t touch me. Don’t even look at me.” “You took months/years of my life away. I’ll never get those back.”
  14. “I saw a trash bag on the side of the road today. Reminded me of you.”
  15. “I could have been doing so much better than wasting my time with you.”
  16. “You’re a sick bastard, you know that?”
  17. “I don’t care.”
  18. “Go ahead, leave. Don’t worry about coming back.”
  19. “You’re such a piece of shit.”
  20. “I didn’t think you could be any more of a shithead, but you just proved me wrong.”
  21. “You’re so stupid.”
  22. “Why do I waste my time with you?”
  23. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”
  24. “Hey! Just a daily reminder: you’re a piece of shit!”
  25. “I deserve so much better.”
  26. “We’re not friends. We were never friends!”
  27. “I pretended to like you because I felt bad for you! How did you fall for that?”
  28. “I never want to see you again.”
  29. “You’ve done nothing but make my life a living hell.”
  30. “Don’t apologize - you don’t deserve my forgiveness!”
  31. “No, I’m never giving you another chance!”
  32. “I wish you were never born.”
  33. “You’re the last person I wanted to see right now.”
  34. “I’d rather be working with anyone else in the whole world right now.”
  35. “When you get back, your shit’s gonna be on the front lawn. Take it and get out.”
  36. “Go ahead, choose them! You deserve each other.”
  37. “I don’t know what they see in you.”
  38. “You’re an embarrassment to me.”
  39. “You’re an embarrassment to all of us.”
  40. “I wish it was you. I wish it was you to die instead of them.”
  41. “God, why did I have to end up working with the biggest asshole in the world?”
  42. “How could you think I ever loved you? You seriously think I’d sink that low?”
  43. “Sorry, I just puked in my mouth a bit. I accidentally looked at your face.”
  44. “How can you even live with yourself?”
  45. “If I was your mirror, I’d break myself just so you would throw me in the trash and I wouldn’t have to look at you.”
  46. “Being with you was the worst time of my life.”
  47. “You’re a monster.”
  48. “Not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead because of you.”
  49. “I’m going to ruin your fucking life.”
  50. “You said you would change, but you never did! You never will!”
  51. “Some people are just born to fail. Sorry you’re one of the unlucky ones.”
  52. “You’re so worthless, you hardly even exist to me.”
  53. “I wish I could go back to the day I met you, and just walk away.”
  54. “If you give me that look one more time, I’m skipping jump-rope with your large intestines.”
  55. “Honestly, I’m embarrassed to even know you.”
  56. “Ugh, it smells like something died in here. Oh. It’s just you.”
  57. “You need to stop. You hurt everyone around you!”
  58. “Until you get your shit together, I don’t want to hear you complain.”
  59. “Look at you. You’re disgusting.”
  60. “Stop making me look bad.”
  61. “You have a face that makes me wish punching people wasn’t frowned upon in our society.”
  62. “Shut your mouth. I don’t want to hear your obnoxious voice.”
  63. “Go play in traffic.”
  64. “Fuck off.”
  65. “If I saw you in the ocean clinging to a log for safety, I’d save the log and let you drown. At least wood can become something useful, like toilet paper.”
  66. “How could I ever love something as terrible and hideous as you?”
  67. “I can’t even look at you right now.”
  68. “It was all a lie.”
  69. “I never loved you, and I never will.”
  70. “Don’t try to beg. It won’t work.”
  71. “You’re not worth the mud on the bottom of my shoes.”
  72. “Look at you. You’re pathetic. I’ve never seen a sadder sight.”
  73. “I’m going to hurt you slowly, and I’m going to enjoy every second of it.”
  74. “For what you did to them, I’ll do the same to you.”
  75. “An apology? You want to offer an apology? No. I don’t accept it.”
  76. “You’re everything I hate in a person.”
  77. “I wish you were dead.”
  78. “You’re nothing to me. Less than nothing!”
  79. “What a sad sack of shit you are.”
  80. “My life is in fucking shambles thanks to you!”
  81. “How could you? You bastard!”
  82. “I’d rather eat sewage than ever touch you again.”
  83. “Hey asshole, I’m here to ruin your day, just like I did yesterday and the day before that.”
  84. “You’d be more useful if you weren’t even alive.”
  85. “Hey, it’s my least favorite waste of space.”
  86. “Every day that I woke up next to you, I was tempted to smother you with a pillow while you slept.”
  87. “Love you? Don’t make me laugh.”
  88. “Just thinking about you makes me sick to my stomach.”
  89. “You deserve a slow and painful death for what you’ve done.”
  90. “I can’t stand people like you.”
  91. “Stop doing that thing. You know, that thing I hate. Breathing.”
  92. “If I could trade you for a nest of angry wasps, you would be long gone.”
  93. “I can’t wait to dance on your grave.”
  94. “If we were the last two people on earth, I’d be subtracting one.”
  95. “I never want to see the likes of your filth around here again.”
  96. “I’m disgusted by you.”
  97. “Fuck you!”
  98. “If I ever see you again, it will be far too soon.”
  99. “I have three words for you: Burn. In. Hell.”
  100. “I hate you.”
Who is Lay?

♡ Zhang Yixing

where to start i love him so much

♡ Every exo-l is soft for this boy

♡ The most hardworking person on earth

♡ VOCAL

♡ King of China

He is the china line

I wanna cry while hugging him my ot12 feels

♡ “Healing unicorn”

♡ Suho’s precious kid

♡ I’m pretty sure sm hates him

Dance line

♡ Visual

♡ Actor

♡ Basically perfect

♡ CONFUSED AF

♡ Has a separate fan base called Xingmis

♡ Yi(Xing) + Nai(mi)

♡ Yixing’s name + My name

Chanyeol is the biggest xingmi

♡ As you can tell from the name 

♡ He is S O F T

♡ His softness is nothing like ksoo’s softness

♡ We call him unicorn because he is literally unreal

Originally posted by sjabe

♡ He is the softest member

♡ He is just pure fluff

♡ Is cute

♡ Really cute

♡ Even if he just stands there doing nothing but existing

♡ he is cute

♡ When he is breathing

♡ When he is smiling

♡ When he’s confused

♡ Is the type of person who would fix the plushie’s bangs when a plushie’s eyes are closed and say

♡ “now you can see”

♡ he is literally an angel

♡ He would do anything for his fans

♡ Literally anything

♡ Reads all the fan letters at the airport

♡ Males sure he performs well otherwise thinks that people’s money go to waste

♡ makes sure everyone has a pic with him before leaving the conference he was on

♡ gives handwritten invitations in chinese and english which he wrote for his bd

♡ translated his album “Lose Control” to japanese,english and chinese

♡ chinese—->cantonese+mandarin

♡ Gives members special bags called “hope bags”so that they won’t meet any troubles

♡ His pureness can’t be explained with words

♡ While we’re talking about how soft he is

♡ I wonder if the blindfold he uses while he’s dancing to artificial love is also soft

♡ HE IS A STRIPPER

Originally posted by glamourpcy

♡ I ain’t joking i’m serious

♡ I feel like he has a dark past coz those moves are pure sin

♡ He often likes to kill exo-ls with kai

♡ As a soft unicorn,he can also turn into a wild stripper on the stage

♡ I see hip thrusts

♡ Once he was performing Lose Control,his belt opened

♡ EXO-L’S DEATH ANNIVERSARY

♡ I mean he is so rude

♡ Has solo’s like Lose control,what u need? and monodrama

♡ Lose control is basically hip thrusts

♡ Along with lay’s heavy gaze and soft voice

Originally posted by lullabyun

♡ It’s just rude

GIVE US A BREAK

♡ We ain’t complaining

♡ His looks are everything

♡ He is the visual king

Originally posted by baekhyunsama

I have found so many rude gifs u guys have no idea

♡ His smile is everything

♡ When he smiles

♡ The world just stops for a minute 

♡ It becomes a better world

♡ the sun shines a bit brighter

♡ the birds sing a bit happier

Originally posted by woahzyx

This boy is srsly killing me SOMEONE SEND HELP PLS

♡ As he also works and promotes in china he has lots of photo shoots

♡ He is beautiful

♡ King of serving looks

I’m just gonna put this here coz this is art

♡ He is literally so handsome

♡ I mean he’s breathtaking

♡ Every pic that he has no matter with or without make up

♡ is so precious cause he looks so freaking good in all of them

♡ I S  E T H E R E A L

♡ I really dunno how to express this handsomeness

BLESS HIS PARENTS

♡ Also an actor

♡ Played a cutie pie in his movie kung fu yoga w jackie chan

♡ Has a movie where he and his gay husband have a baby from the future lesbians called oh my god

same

i dunno what to say anymore

♡ Also Operation love where he is a character full of regrets

♡ but returns to the past and tries his best

♡ PROMOTE YIXING

♡ As i mentioned before,he has his own solo career 

♡ His last album lose control killed all of exo-ls

♡ Has a studio in china

♡ His voice is so soothing

His singing makes me want to punch myself

♡ Sings in many languages

♡ While we mention about languages

♡ His korean is just

♡ bootiful

♡ His korean teacher told him to get a gf

HOW DARE YOU AJUSSI

♡ Often makes pronunciation mistakes

♡ “Members wet their pants”

♡ “Jurazil park”

♡ Said penis instead of pepper 

♡ chanyeol was shook

♡ cameraman was shook

♡ exo-l were shook

♡ But its ok since we love him the way he is

♡ and baek often helps and explains him 

♡ There’s a precious friendship called

♡ Baekxing

Originally posted by yixingcanbeagif2

♡ Baek often explains him anything in korean

♡ They’re super cute

♡ Precious af

♡ Yixing just loves him so much

♡ Yixing just loves every member so much

♡ Baek is yixing’s nr.1 fan

♡ He also has a super confused side

♡ Always confused

♡ Bbh is his life saver

Originally posted by baekintime

♡ Fangirl bbh mode on

♡ You can actually ship lay with any member since he’s a fluff ball

♡ —->sulay

Originally posted by su-lay

♡ He is suho’s most precious kid since he’s innocent and easygoing

♡ —–>xiulay

Originally posted by minniedeer

♡ —>Layhan

Originally posted by luharem

♡ #BRINGTHISBACK2K17

#FUCKSM

♡ Even tough they’re former members he still keeps in touch with his brothers from china

♡ And supports them and their movies,music..etc

♡ also meets them in china

I WANNA UGLY SOB RN I HATE YOU SM WHY THE FUCK KRISHANTAO LEFT MY OT12 FEELINGS

♡ also teaches sehun chinese

♡ Since he’s really kind and considerate towards people he’s loved by everyone

♡ His dance is everything you want in your life

♡ He is really passionate about dancing

♡ he is a choreographer

♡ What u need?’s choreo

♡ Lose contol’s choreo

♡ also helped they never know’s choreo

♡ Is close with 1m dance studio’s Kasper

U can actually spot kasper in every sm dance practice video

♡ His moves are so smooth yet delicate

♡ he is an angel dancing

Originally posted by xehunted

I HAD TO

♡ He also ended saesang fans

♡ “as saesang fans have every information about us including our phone numbers,i’m expecting them to know teacher lee so man’s number too”

♡ YAS

♡ He is really hardworking

♡ produced an album in china

♡ Shot 2 movies,one w jackie chan

♡ shot a drama

♡ Promoted exo

♡ promoted his work

♡ performed his solo work

♡ sometimes danced sometimes sang

♡ Joined his brothers for the comeback

BUT NOW SM WONT LET HIM COME BACK FUCK U SM

♡ Did all those things in half a year

♡ As we can tell

♡ overworks himself

♡ fainted twice

♡ The photos taken today at the airport was showing how tired he was

♡ he works nonstop 

♡ he gotta rest

♡ he was working all the time when the rest of the members had time to rest

I fucking hate sm

♡ He is the most precious kid i’ve ever seen

♡ #PROTECTLAYSQUAD2K17

♡ I swear if they comeback without lay i’ll fly to korea and let the sm building on fire after stabbing lee soo man 384737 times

♡ He is the cutest pls protect him

Originally posted by squynhty

on the new Iron Fist series

So after binge watching a ton of Marvel’s new Iron Fist series, I went onto tumblr, wondering what the fandom was up to now, what with all these new gifs and stuff to make. ‘Maybe I would find some fan art or something’ I thought innocently to myself,

BUT BOY WAS I WRONG

instead, I was greeted with SO MUCH DISCOURSE on how Iron Fist ‘needs a chinese-american actor’ or ‘has terrible dialogue and is slow’.

the best part is when I found out that some of y’all are trying to get this show boycotted like ‘????’

Now as a Chinese-speaking Asian female, living in Asia, with an Asian background and a good know-how of Chinese history, as well as a decent knowledge of comic books, (although I confess I got into the animated series first) I’m here to end the discussion before y’all get your full rage on and start fighting fans of the show like it’s Lord of the Flies up in here

So keep reading if you want to be educated or if you just want to fight me before you know what you’re even talking about

“THE SHOW INSULTS CHINESE CULTURE”

Uhhhh…no? I’ve seen a few episodes and I mean so far there isn’t really anything that screams ‘insult’ or even offensive in the slightest. Besides maybe the fact that they take the beliefs and twist them a little bit but honestly even that ain’t that bad as to what I’ve seen elsewhere.

I’ve read the boycott post and let me say that yea, they dressed him with an eye for Asian elements, but maybe that’s because it’s supposed to be resembling Asian clothing? I mean how is that offensive? Is it the part that it looks Asian? Or that you simply feel that white people that direct these shows should not be using Asian stuff for entertainment? Because I hate to break it to you but it’s still not offensive. Even the dragon tattoo is totally fine because it’s supposed to resemble Asian elements yea but also have y’all read the comics? Because he punched through a dragon and basically took it’s heart. So I mean a dragon tattoo kinda matches the theme.

I mean in the first episode they speak almost flawless Chinese for Pete’s sake! Hell, I was surprised that they even had it in them to have a non-Google translated line. Sure the accent was a little overdoing it cuz not even I have that thick a Chinese accent but I’ll excuse it since he was apparently learning and speaking 15 years. (I speak it maybe a few times a day for like the last 14 years or so only)

So no, the show doesn’t really insult Chinese culture, sure they might be ignorant, but you must understand that after generations of stereotypes and misconceptions that that can’t just go away with one show

“Danny Rand should be played by an Asian guy/be a Chinese-American”

I can’t even begin to tell you my frustration about this.

Y’all do know this show is based on the comics right?

You know, the one with the white guy.

I know Marvel is infamous for not including enough representation in their shows but seriously? This is like the Harry Potter thing all over again with Hermione being black, it’s not that we don’t want representation or anything, but it’s the fact that this hero that us comic fans have come to already love has been replaced. Or at least it feels like it. Like when a movie is made from a book and people go crazy because character XYZ suddenly has different traits or isn’t quite what was described as compared to the book.

Frankly, it sucks.

So even though yes, Marvel should have more Asians in their shows, don’t expect them to completely give the main character a makeover, even if the makeover was supposed to provide representation. And honestly? I don’t want them to change him because I really freaking love Iron Fist, just as he is.

“This show just villainizes Asians”

So you tell me that my race is being made villains because Marvel decided that most of their Asians on their shows are evil ninjas (aka the Hand) and at most there are like 3 sorta good Asians. Oh and I’m sorry, you want more Asian men that are good guys? You want a balance of Asian heroes?

Well I guess that would be kind of hard to fit into the story since, oh, I don’t know, everything happens in the USA?

If you want more Asian characters well then look no further because you do have them. Daisy Johnson from Agents of Shield? What about her extremely brave mom? Or maybe Colleen in Iron Fist? Everyone seems to be blatantly ignoring her badassery and only seeing the part where she’s a sorta love interest.

Facts are, there are Asian characters, you’re really just looking hard enough. I agree wholeheartedly when you say that more Asian men need to be in the Marvel universe that aren’t part of the bad guy team but you gotta say that they are still awesome.

Does anyone even remember the Japanese ninja yakuza guy from Daredevil? Dude got set on fire and STILL came back to kick ass. That’s a plus in my book because even though he’s considered bad, he’s been proven to be cunning, smart, and overall awesome.

“The show has terrible stunts/acting/dialogue/fight scenes”

From here on out it’s mostly just me trying to explain why the directors and writers of the show made decisions in the show to make it what it is, so let’s dive right into it.

  • STUNTS

Actually the stunts weren’t half-bad. If you’ve seen other shows or movies that are heavily reliant on stunts and action, and compare it to this show, they really aren’t that much different. Sure it might seem a little unbelievable sometimes like they’re breaking physics or something, but he already has a glowing fist. I think we’ve crossed the line of believable long ago.

  • ACTING

I have nothing to say about this except that go and take some acting or drama classes before coming and criticizing these awesome men and women who did indeed try their best

  • DIALOGUE

Now I get the dialogue might be a little weird at times and what not, but you must understand that this show was partially written with the Defenders series in mind. So almost everything that was said in the show is meant to lead to something more. Thus, you must take it as a bigger picture. Sorta like how everyone said that Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them wasn’t as good as they thought it would be, that movie was also meant to lead on to a bigger story so you might want to excuse the weird speech and cryptic lines at times.

  • FIGHT SCENES & ACTION

Okay seriously people, please read the comics. Danny Rand is supposed to be an accidental hero, one that doesn’t want to fight unless he really has zero choice in the matter. So yea, the fight scenes won’t be that interesting, but only because the character in question is more interested in ending the fight than anything.

~

So there you have it, my whole slightly angry info-dump on Iron Fist and Marvel’s representation problem in general. If you want to correct me or scold me even then by all means message me or shoot me an ask. But just keep in mind that Marvel can’t make all your problems go away in one show, and please for the love of all that is good read the comics before coming to rant okay?

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 3

And we did it again, amigos! 

  1. “My sock is missing.”
  2. “I must say it can be rather therapeutic”
  3. “Shit, they spotted us. Quick, put your Obama mask on.”
  4. “You raided my village, killed my parents and slaughtered tens of innocent people. I was able to forgive you for all of that-tell myself it was in your nature. But then you did something heinous. Something beyond all possible hope of redemption. You killed my dog.”
  5. “What do you mean you accidentally assassinated the Pope!?”
  6. “I would love to give a fuck about you but sadly my last one went off to war and never returned”
  7. “If you think I’ll stop my quest for world domination for a bag of cookies, you are,,, right… Now, gimme that!”
  8. “What are you doing with that rubber duckie toy– OH DEAR GOD LORD HAVE MERCY”
  9. “I’m more afraid of myself than you.”
  10. “I already told you, there’s nothing we can do about the fights. We COULD if you stopped spoiling shows and books to everyone.”
  11. “You, my friend, are the most unnecessary when it comes to your excessively sassy attitude.”
  12. “I love you.” “…..What? OH APRIL FOOLS.”
  13. “What is this, a concert for ants???”
  14. “I made it! I’m in the list! This is being a great day since I remembered it’s a Thursday, not a Monday!”
  15. “It’s not that I don’t believe you. It’s just that, well, I’ve got a sink full of dishes and a cat to wash.”
  16. “When you said i had pretty eyes i thought you were complimenting me,not trying to buy them!”
  17. “The wolves eat tonight.”
  18. “Gee, thanks for nearly killing me because of ____!” “Listen up here, are you dead? You’d better be greateful you’re still alive tou little shit.”
  19. "When you said you could fly, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
  20. “Sarah, I love you and all but hOW ON EARTH DO YOU KEEP SENDING OUR PETS TO SPACE?!”
  21. “Look, just because you kidnapped me doesn’t mean I’m going to marry you.”
  22. “How in God’s name did you even get up there?!”
  23. “I think I misplaced my right hand”
  24. “I did it! I got into university!” “That’s great! What course?” “Uh… Would it be a bad thing if I told you that… Dark magic and villainy?”
  25. “Well, it just so happens that I have been a homeless man for three years now. That must mean I’m the chosen one!”
  26. “Have your eyes always been that colour?”
  27. “I’m going to fight the sun!”
  28. “You can’t just run around punching people you don’t like, ____!”
  29. “I’m not into that kinda thing.”
  30. “Dude why did you eat all that cake on your own?”
  31. “I just wanted to know if we could use a plastic knife”
  32. “Uhhhh, guys? Don’t hate me, but I think I just released Satan”
  33. “Well, fine… Just wait a little bit before you do something stupid.” “…”
  34. “What do you mean there’s no bacon flavored ice cream!?”
  35. “What do you mean you’re my sister? I don’t have a sister!”
  36. “Why the hell do we need a duck to hunt Bigfoot?”
  37. “Oh, so you can do pink explosions too”
  38. “This isn’t my kitchen, is it?”
  39. “Ohhh, so THAT’S what you meant by ‘shooting starts’.”
  40. “ACHOO” “bless you” “Thank you, wait a minute I live alone”
  41. “Put my creepy cat in a different room? Don’t be silly! I don’t even have a cat!”
  42. “Katie, please stop shooting me with tranquilizer darts.”
  43. “Why did you think it was a good idea to only bring a potato to this heist?”
  44. “Okay, we make this promise now - nobody look at that fucking goat ever again.”
  45. “Sarah, why is the cat naked?”
  46. “Wait. You’re aroused?”
  47. “Why would that surprise you?”
  48. “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  49. “okay so let me get this straight, you’re not actually my long lost twin…” “yes.” “…because you’re me from another dimension” “…yes.”
  50. “I’m sorry, but did that thing just talk?”
  51. “I thought we promised to never speak of that incident again!”
  52. "Sweetheart”“Yes dear”“Some of your morally challenged friends are trying to kidnap me again.”“And?”“And!?”“You’re a big girl, you can take care of yourself.”“Of course I can, but the gesture would have been nice!”
  53. “how many epilepsy pills can you take before you overdose?” “Just one or two.” “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
  54. “…I was GOING to ask why there’s a pink goo all over the kitchen floor but I think that can wait whilst I ask what the FUCK IS GOING ON?”
  55. “For the last time, can you stop calling that thing 'human’”
  56. “Okay, that is a seriously dodgy looking hat-are you certain you’re right about this?”
  57. “Really Darling, you can stop trying to scream, we’ve already espablished that no one cares and it’s giving you unflattering lines on your forehead.”
  58. “_______, why am I on the ceiling?”
  59. “What the heck happened while I was at the store?
  60. "What the actual fuck!” “I did warn-” “Yes I know you said you were crazy, but this…. This is…” “Just another Tuesday. Oh we’re late for tea!” “With who?!” “With the Queen of course, who else?”
  61. “Despreate times call for cows.”
  62. “Did you burn the last piece of toast again?”
  63. “You didn’t TELL me there’d be free food!”
  64. “Did Jesus really die for this bullshit?”
  65. “Do you want the apocalypse?!! Because that’s how you get the apocalypse!!!”
  66. “Goddamit, I’m dead again aren’t I? How the hell did I do it this time?”
  67. “Dude, no.”
  68. “I may be a horrible person, but at least I am an honest one.”
  69. “I told you, I dress to kill, now fetch me my fancy stilettos, mama’s gonna slay tonight!”
  70. “I left the room for 3 minutes and you really want to tell me you started a war with every single planet?” “Well, I told you 3 months ago to not leave me alone.” “And I told you I have to use the bathroom 3 months ago!”
  71. “Wow, only took 3 minutes to destroy the world.” “Let’s see if I can do it in 2!”
  72. “So… Wh-Why- How did you flush the duck down the toilet?”
  73. “dude. i liked that carpet. do you know how hard it is to wash bloodstains out of carpets.”
  74. “Don’t worry, it’s much worse than it looks.”
  75. “What are you doing ___?” “I’m camping.” “No you’re beside tree with a blank-” “CAMPING”
  76. “WHAT THE FUCK IS A DUCKPOTATO”
  77. “PUT THE PUPPY DOWN AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!”
  78. “PLEASE DON’T HANG UP! YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN DANGER!”
  79. “What the hell kind of scream was that? And how did you make it?! ”
  80. “Hey, uhm… Hate to interrupt your conversation, but why the fuck is there a giraffe on the soup aisle”
  81. “You mean to tell me that somebody decided it was a good idea to cross plums and apricots, but nobody can figure out why my cat has RABBIT ears?”
  82. “Sorry but um… why is there a fox and a bear singing Ooh la la by Britney Spears on the balcony? And where is my chicken, Pudding?!”
  83. “Where did you get LIGHT-UP COMBAT BOOTS? THEY CHANGE COLOR?!”
  84. “So you’re telling me there was a genie trapped in that can of soup? And you accidentally ATE THE GENIE?!”
  85. “Listen…don’t take this the wrong way, but…I love the OTHER you better.”
  86. “Tell me why,  exactly, did you need the rubber chicken? ”
  87. “Look, I’m not a liar, alright?  And I ain’t overdramatic or hyperbolic or whatever else you wanna call me.  So when I say I would sell my soul for a pancake right now, I mean I will literally sell my soul for a pancake right now.  And maybe a million dollars.”
  88. “Wait a second, you’re telling me that….. YOU’VE BEEN DATING SATAN BEHIND MY BACK FOR FOUR WHOLE YEARS?!!!”
  89. “Well dad did say he would be gone for five days…what the hell? Let’s go to the corner store!”
  90. “Why did you buy 74 melons?!”
  91. “Where’s the toaster?” “It’s in the kitchen… Why do you have a fork?” “K, thanks.”
  92. “Death, out of all the things in this world, why are so afraid of ____?”
  93. “This floor is like my life; Cold and Hard.”
  94. “So you’re telling me that I am the only thing that is preventing a Third World War, right?” “Yeah, pretty much.”
  95. “I don’t know your name and you don’t know mine but I promise it will turn out okay.”
  96. “Little did you know, they were slowly turning into werewolves.”
  97. “Umm… I may have possibly accidentally blown up another planet”
  98. “I told you not to do that… now look, you’ve lost your hand!”
  99. “Every time you speak I literally die a little”
  100. “One baby soul please, Adult souls give me gas!”

“I need you, yes you (you should feel targeted), to come up with a new dialogue prompt for part 4 and leave it in the comments below. It’s fun and the first 100 replies will make the next list. As always, one prompt per amigo and don’t forget the doubles quotes “”. Pantoffel” (Click here for part 1 and here for part 2)

when i was seven the sea-witch cursed me.

she cursed my great-grandfather, actually, who had spat on the hands of the ocean and disrespected the beating heart of the earth - for what else are waves but a pulse - who was silly and violent and who tried to rip from the water what was hers by rights. we were wealthy, before that, a family of merchants. my mother says in her youth she recalls white horses, the gleam of candles, early mornings with bread baked fresh by a horde of servants.

he didn’t ask permission to cross her. that’s what my mother tells me while she spoons porridge with no flavor into the wood of my bowl. he had no faith in superstition, rode with boats that were more decoration than strength, the folly of a man who was cruel and vain and proud of his own gold teeth. the sky had been blue, so regardless of what the village witch said, he would sail that day. and when his boat sank; their lives turned blue like the sky that day.

my mother says she thinks the curse on the men of our family, even if they come in when they marry, is that they will forever be violent, too foolish to see the storm on the horizon. she whispers this to me on the eve of my seventh birthday, while father is his own storm, thundering around the house, looking for her. later, when i am cleaning the cut by her cheek, she tells me the curse is on the women to forever be unhappy, to wane until they are shadows, to walk into the deep like a sinking ship. 

we don’t burn candles often, they are too expensive. she tells me this in the silk of a dark room. the moon kisses her hair. 

in three days, my mother will walk into the ocean, and my father will be my own problem. the curse will pass onto me. 

my father does not believe in superstition, no curse to conquer him. when he is gone, and i am heartbroken, i go to the village witch. i ask her to teach me about magic, and other things, and about how the ocean can be coaxed, and how to save my father’s soul. 

and my hands rot too, keeping a house by myself with things i barely knew. i learn the art of a good scrubbing, keep my mind full of white horses while i endlessly clean, dream of candles in dark while i make the bread that he will not allow me to eat. he keeps me from the ocean, from visiting the place that took my mom, from following in her footsteps where the water makes women undone.

i am sixteen when i see her in the water of a bowl. she scares me so completely that i drop it, and my father comes in with his hands, and the curse, and i almost forget all about it. it isn’t until after that i realize she is beautiful, and young, which surprises me. 

i think about it every evening. her face becomes distorted to me. i can no longer remember the exact shape of it, only the impression of beauty. 

i turn seventeen and wait for the high moon. i pin safety to my vest in little witch herbs and runes. i put naked toes on the sand and slip closer, closer, to the avenue of my family’s doom. i find a little private beach, small and surrounded by rocks, hidden from my father in the event he ever thought to come looking. at high tide, it is barely the span of my body. at low, it feels empty.

the witch of the land has given me what i need to call in the witch of the sea, but i do not use it. it feels wrong, somehow, standing here in the wind and the quiet pulse of the world. i put down the incense and sage and i sit just close enough it feels wild, dangerous - but not close enough to get caught up in thrill. 

when nothing happens, i go home and i make bread that i will not eat.

for months i do this. i climb down to my beach. i learn to do it when the moon is half, and then when the moon is empty. i learn to do it so well that sometimes i go to sleep in my own bed and wake up by the water. i take to sleeping with warding runes to keep me from being pulled in the rip out to the waiting hands of a hungry sea-witch.

i don’t know when i start talking. more often i sing, because singing in my house is not allowed, and something about the way the rocks echo my voice feels comforting. the older i get, the more i can pretend i hear my mother’s voice, answering me, harmonizing gently. i sing songs about sadness and lullabies about curses. when i have exhausted every song i know, i write new ones about fathers who have never learned how to be kind, about the house i work in but do not love, about mothers who left, and about a sea witch.

i see her sometimes. in a puddle, in the drop of rain, in the strangest places. i never expect it, although i always hope. i am never able to see her for more than the length of a wave, breaking, and each time, it does something new to my heart.

at eighteen i am too much of my father’s burden. he tries to unload me onto other men. the land witch helps me with this. i rub hemlock, burn wolfsbane. we arrange so these men have other women to marry. the news of my curse is bad enough to scare most away. my father is not happy.

after a particularly savage night, i wonder how bad it could be. i could marry some boy from the village who didn’t quite bother me. i suppose they’re not ugly. timothy had always been gentle to me. i think about a life, and how i am cursed to be unhappy. my father would finally be proud of me.

i walk to the beach and i tell the waves about him and how i could convince myself it was love if i just never wanted from him. how i could be okay, if not content, how i could be free, how i already had learned life down on knees.

but i go home and i write a rune of warding. and the years pass and i find reasons each suitor is wanting. and the sea witch i see, sometimes, peeking out at me, staying long each time in the water, looking, watching. i see her in mirrors when my father storms against me. it is bad because he mistakes the cause of my smiling. it is better when she is there the next morning.

and i go to the ocean. when i am too sad to speak, it seems like the ocean is whispering for me. i picture my mother’s voice and tell myself i am happy. i am seven again and we are sewing. i am seven again and the curse has not been given to me. i am seven and she came home after she walked to the sea.

i grow silly, brave, unthinking. i leave behind the herbs and i wade deep. i teach myself the art of swimming. i am bad at it, at first, but something about it feels good to me. like the ocean wants to buoy me. in the day i think of it, guilty. what if there was a rip tide, and the water took me? who would care for my father if i stepped off the beach into a long drop? wasn’t i clever enough to know that the ocean is uncaring?

it is not this that does it. i go out after a rain and i slip on the rocks and suddenly i am in water above my head but without the moon i cannot see the up of it. i kick and i thrash and the water surrounds me. the tide pulls on my body and in the cold i feel my body grow weary. water spills into me. it punches through my body, up my nose and into my lungs and some part of me knows this is what mother felt before she was gone.

i kick ground by accident, reorient, drag myself heaving and spitting into the air. i lie there for a long time, half in and half out of death, enjoying the sensation of breathing and of life.

when i look up, i think i see her, watching me, her brows knit with something like worry. but we make eye contact and my heart leaps and then she is gone and i am left alone with nothing but the dawn breaking.

my father is furious when there is no bread. he finds my hair wet, and the salt of the ocean still smelling on me. and that is it. that day he goes out and pays someone to agree to marry me.

this feels right to me, i think. i’m twenty-one, three times seven, a perfect number for a curse to fully come down on me. i will be wed in three weeks.

the land witch comes to visit me. she looks like she’s sorry for me. she gives me a spell and tells me to put it under my pillow; i’ll dream of love and it will soothe me. instead i dream of the seawitch, and how wonderful she is, and the sight of her, out on the water, worried.

even though it is risky, i go down to the beach. i do not bother with protective spells, i have already seen that the water can kill me. fear alone keeps me from wandering. i sit on the beach and in the sand i draw runes for understanding and i make the small magicks i’ve spent years learning and i close my eyes and i ask the ocean “why do you do this to me.”

i fall asleep. i dream that the sea witch talks to me. i dream she is my age, that she is the great-granddaughter of the first to curse my family. i dream she has spent years watching, learning, finding the truth of me. that she just needs to get the courage to come and speak, that she has fallen in love with my singing, that she knows no curse but the one in her heart that brings her back to a human, to a creature of air and not water, to a mistake in the making.

in the dawn i know it is a dream and no more. i make bread. i pour water out before it can make mirrors. i do not look. i do not like the ache that has filled me, as if i’ve been looking for an answer and the answer only leads to longing.

the man i meet - my husband-to-be - is delighted by the house i keep. he believes a woman should keep in her place, and her place should be clean. he hears from neighbors that sometimes i sneak out to the land witch’s house. laughter barks out of him. not going to allow that behavior, not me. he does not believe in curses. he will pack me up and move me from the ocean to somewhere in the mountains, where i know nobody. and i will, he promises, learn to keep my place, and that place clean.

i tell myself i could love him. he is not ugly. he says i’m pretty enough after whiskey. my father mentions i used to sing. i refuse to perform for these men so instead i make them cookies. they laugh and talk about me, even when i am in the room, as if they cannot even see. they shake hands and talk about how useless a woman is for much else than breeding. it’s very funny. the man meets my eyes and promises he’ll put a baby in me. i look down and pretend the thrill i feel is excitement, not fear brewing in me.

the land witch comes by a week before my wedding. she is smaller these days, aging. her apprentice and i get along wonderfully. the two women stand before me, holding something. 

a small box, so tiny and lovely. “break the curse,” the witch whispers, “learn to be happy.”

i smuggle the box, take it everywhere with me. it is days before i have a moment to slip away, to open it by the sea. i take a candle with me, even though my father will notice and be angry.

by the light of fire i read the spell they have left me inside, and then i am so full of gratitude i cannot stop crying.

it must be a full moon, so i must wait. in the meantime, i walk home, and i bake. 

i do not see the seawitch, even though i look for her. maybe i have wounded her, getting married. my father asks why i keep smiling. i tell him it is because i am finally with a man. he grunts and says to stop looking so silly. 

the man kisses me. i let him. we are married on a night with a full moon, and i poison him and my father in the bread i did not eat. i think of how these men were cursed so they could not see a storm coming. i watch them as they lie there, dying, and then i put all of the things i own into a basket for the land witch. i leave it there with a song i wrote for her, a spell i know will make her happy, will stop the aging of her joints, will give her the kind of relief she gave me. 

i go down to the water. i find myself running, even though i am in no hurry. i know the way so well it is like i wake up there, panting. i ask permission first. i lay out the contents of the box, i organize and practice and when the needle and pain comes, i am ready for it. i am used to pain at night. i breathe into it and walk naked into waters that swallowed my mother.

i chew bitter herbs. i swallow fire. i feel myself drown as i change from land witch to sea witch. 

when it is done, i open my eyes in the deep of a moonlit ocean. and i see her. 

this time she does not flicker. this time when i reach for her, she is there, and she is pushing my hair out of my eyes, and we are kissing with the ocean rejoicing around us, and i am laughing, and i hear her voice as clear as bell inside me.

and we live like this, a whole world between us where white horses are the size of pinky fingers and swim with their thin snouts, where i need no candles because i was raised lightless, where we have no servants but the water takes care of us. i show her the magic of land and she unfolds the magic of water. together we are unstoppable. when i come up to the air to sing little girls a promise that they can survive the madness, she sings with me, and we make a beautiful harmony.

Dating Stiles Stilinski Would Include

warnings: mentions of sex

- you and stiles are neighbors, but he didn’t really notice you much.

- that is until you hit a puberty stage in the seventh grade, and suddenly he was tripping over his feet crossing the street to your house. you were shocked when he asked if you wanted to ride bikes with him.

- but you said yes anyways cuz how could you turn down the adorable little spazz. 

 - you and Stiles became best friends easily in the one day, and overtime you him and Scott were a tight little group.

- scott asked you to your first dance in eighth grade, yes, scott. You’d looked between him and Stiles, and when the buzz cut boy said nothing, you said yes to scott

- no, Scott did not have a crush on you, nor you him, but you had a great time that night. though when a slow song came on, Scott made an excuse for punch and asked if you’d rather dance with stiles

- Stiles barely knew how to dance to slow songs, but you taught him. holding your arms around his neck, and his at your waist comfortably. and at one point you’d laid your head on his chest and made him promise you’d be best friends forever. he did without hesitation.

- in freshman year, it was painfully obvious that he was head over heels for Lydia Martin

- (or so you thought. that’s just what stiles wanted you to think)

- but your friendship continued nonetheless, and your growing feelings for the boy continued as well.

- the both of you always made witty remarks. as well as being on the same level of sarcasm. so the banter was great

- except to Scott, who was constantly worn out by it

- seriously. he always took out his inhaler whenever you two got into it

- you’d really pushed yourself to look for nice for homecoming that year.  You’d forced Scott to take you to the mall and critique each and every dress you tried on

- he told you nervously that you looked hot in the one you’d ended up picking, and you gave him finger guns

- STILES ASKED YOU TO DANCE

- you went with Scott and Stiles to the woods that fateful night, in hopes of seeing a severed body

- you and Stiles figured out together that Scott was a werewolf

- when he went to confront Scott about it, he made you stay at his house.  It turned into a nasty argument, which ended with him yelling that he wasn’t letting you get hurt in the process

- you made up easily.  It was you and Stiles.  Of course you did

- but you were with Scott and Stiles when Scott was chained up to the radiator, so that he wouldn’t go crazy on the full moon.

- you sat with Stiles in the hallway, both of you trying not to cry to the sound of Scott’s audible agony.  You saw your freckled friend close his eyes tight, and leaned your head onto his shoulder.  The action provided more comfort than you’d ever know

- the winter formal was a colossal disaster.  Scott snuck in, Stiles was with Lydia the whole night, Jackson was a jerk, you were left alone the entire night, and Lydia got attacked by Peter.

- you did comfort Stiles a little bit later that night in the hospital

- and you beat the shit out of Peter Hale with a baseball bat.  Which resulted in you getting scratched deep on your arm.  Scott Stiles and Allison took you to the hospital the second that Peter’s throat was slashed.  Scott taking Stiles’ keys and starting the Jeep, Allison rushing into the passenger’s seat.  Stiles was holding your nearly unconscious body in the backseat, letting you lay across his lap.  You didn’t really comprehend how hard he was crying

- you didn’t know that he slept in the waiting room for two nights in a row while you were under strict ‘family only’ visiting hours

- but he ran into the room the second Melissa allowed it.  You cried upon seeing him, weakly holding your arms out for him to hug you.  Your pain washing away as soon as he held you in his arms.

- you had to stay in one more night, and Stiles stayed again much to your protests, and he pulled up a folding chair in the room.  Sitting next to your bed and laying his head on the sheets.  He accidentally fell asleep before you did, so you spent half an hour just running your fingers over his buzz cut and thinking about the life you had.

- but don’t worry, the cut wasn’t deep enough to turn you into anything

- you and Stiles became messengers for Scott and Allison.  A tiring, yet sometimes fun job

- Stiles telling you all of his suspicions about Allison’s grandfather, Gerard

- as well as complaining about how cocky Jackson had become

- standing up for Stiles (and Scott when Jackson dared threaten a werewolf) whenever the little shit poked fun at him.

- he stood up for you too, because Jackson… well he was just a dick

- you became closer with Allison and Lydia, but your friendship with Stiles never faltered

- when Stiles found out that Matt was stalking both you and Allison, he flipped shit, and you were crying because you didn’t want him to know.  (because you knew he’d freak out

- Stiles didn’t tell you he punched Matt the next day

- you and Stiles laughed for a long time about how ironic it was that Jackson was the kanima.  I mean, come on, a lizard? Of course it was him.  Jackson’s a fucking snake.

- it got unfunny real fast at Lydia’s birthday party

- you had refused to drink, knowing someone had to have spiked it.  So you saw Stiles lose his mind in the middle of the party, and dragged him outside.  He kept mumbling on about disappointing his father, which made you cry.

- you and Stiles accidentally passed out spooning on Lydia’s couch that night

- the night at the train station still freaks you out.  First Matt tried to get you to join him, and when you’d told him to fuck off, he had Jackson the kanima paralyze you.  Your limp body was tied to a chair for the entire night, and you had to watch him pull a gun on Stiles, and shoot Scott.  

- you later caught Gerard drowning him when you’d been heading home.  You’d grabbed Stiles’ hand so fast, unsure of what to do.  Yes, the boy needed to be punished, you surely didn’t want him to have a happily every after… but he was so afraid and in so much pain.

- you Stiles and Scott picked a lot of classes together over the summer

- Stiles began to grow his hair out, which you supported more the longer it got

- also had a summer road trip to San Diego for a weekend.  Big back to school shopping spree

- you were nervous going back to school after the shitty way last year ended, but Stiles constantly assured you that it would all be okay

- you complained to him constantly about the awkwardness of being friends with both Scott and Allison, and how you barely mentioned one around the other.   

- “but I’m your best friend, right?” to which you’d eagerly nodded to

- groaning the second Scott told you about the alpha pack.

- “can’t i catch a break!?”

- you and Stiles catching a quick two second flicker in Scott’s eyes, shifting from brown to yellow, to red, then back to yellow.  You exchanged a glance that said you’d talk about it after fighting the alpha pack.

- you getting closer with Isaac, and sitting with him on the bus ride to the motel
(you didn’t know Stiles was pestering Scott as to why you’d choose to sit next to a boy who wore scarves that looked like scarves that you would buy.  But Scott was in too much pain to care about his friend’s love life problems)

- you had known all along Lydia and Allison were trailing the bus, because Lydia was snap chatting you about how Allison was so still in love with Scott.  While you were snap chatting her about your Stiles problems

- when you stopped at a rest stop so Allison could stitch up Scott, you were freaking out outside the bathroom, but Lydia and Isaac had no idea how to comfort you

- Stiles had rushed over and held you in his arms, cradling your head against his chest and cooing softly to you.

- “you’re okay, and you know Scott will be okay, don’t worry too much then others will wonder what’s going on in there” 

- after that, Isaac sat with Scott the rest of the bus ride to the motel, and you sat with Stiles

- most of the night, Stiles made you stay in his and Scott’s motel room because weird things were happening.  He’d told you to stay in there after Ethan tried to cut open his stomach with a saw

- “Stiles you know I can handle myself fine-”

- “I know you can, I do, but this is different, they have no idea what’s going on either so I need you to just stay in here, and stay safe

- you’d listened, and ended up falling asleep on the bed waiting for someone to return

- you woke up when the door opened, a soaking Scott and exhausted Stiles dragging in.  Stiles asked if you were staying with them instead of the girls tonight, and you’d nodded limply.

- after Scott got in the shower, Stiles collapsed onto the mattress next to you, mumbling ‘we’re sharing a bed by the way’ and you’d only nodded

- you restrained from screaming when he told you what had happened that resulted in Scott being drenched in gasoline.  The thought of Stiles… him being gone… it killed you.  But you didn’t say anything, just snuggled up against him and fell asleep in his arms.  It meant more than words could’ve said

- you sat with him on the bus the next morning too.  He didn’t wake you up when you left, just carried your sleeping body out to the bus and gave you his flannel to use as a blanket

- you woke up next to him relatively happy upon finding the clothing on you and your head on his shoulder, his head atop yours as he played on his phone

- you were taken with Melissa Chris and Noah, because you’d figured out that Jennifer was the darach, and what her next move was.  You were on your way to warn Stiles when she’d caught you

- you were trapped in the nemeton, but you still just had this feeling in you that Scott became an alpha.  You’d later learn that it was because in a way, without being a werewolf, you were his beta

- when Stiles got you and his father back, the group hug between you three was so tight you cried harder

- he called you the second he started getting night terrors

- and soon Noah began to just come pick you up and bring to the house in the middle of the night because you were the only one who could get him to stop screaming

shh Stiles, it’s not real I promise” you laid down next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. When Stiles shakily nodded, laying down with you, Noah left the room.

“It’s not real” He’d repeat over and over.

- you always stayed on your respective sides of the bed

- you helped Allison get her stability back in the woods, and helped Stiles get his ability to read back

- it took you stepping on a bear trap for it to happen, but hey! he did it!

- Stiles told you first about his dementia

- you were as calm as possible, hugging him and telling him it’d be okay, not shedding a tear

- you went straight to Scott’s and screamed and cried and beat up his chest with your fists in anger, eventually falling to the ground in defeat and exhaustion

- you felt as numb as Stiles looked

- you went with him and Scott to the hospital for the MRI, the three of you group hugging when it was all over

- Trying not to cry.  A lot those days.  Mostly not in front of Stiles, so you ended up crashing on the McCall living room couch and taking over Allison’s bed.

Maybe you should go talk to Stiles, I think you guys need some closure with each other”

“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling him I love him and there’s enough shit already”

and

“Stiles, you can’t just sit next to her anymore.  You gotta tell her it’s all going to be okay.  You’re little game of ‘we don’t need words’ can’t last forever”

“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling her I love her and there’s enough shit already”

- You eventually broke.  Like a twig actually.  You’d been sitting on his bed, messing around on your phone when he told you that he was going to admit himself to Eichen.

Are you insane? Did you actually lose your mind?!”

“y/n… maybe they can help…”

“Why can’t we help?!”

“Professional help y/n”

- You cried a lot, too much, you got tears and makeup all over his favorite flannel.  But he didn’t care, he was just glad you finally showed some emotion

- You went with him Scott and Noah to the hospital.  You stood silently with them as he checked in, holding his hand so tight you wondered if he was in any pain.  But he didn’t show any

- You didn’t let go until he hugged Scott and his father goodbye.  Noah excused himself to go ‘start the car’ and Scott ‘offered to help’

(they shipped you two hard)

- Stiles giving you the biggest bear hug and lifting you off the ground.

Just promise not to die in here, this place reeks of depression and I’m not even a werewolf” 

“I promise.  I’m coming back okay?”

- holding his face between your hands and wiping away the tears (he was trying not to let show) with your thumbs

I’m holding you to that promise”

- two days later not being able to take it anymore.  Lydia had offered a million times to conceal the bags under your eyes, and Allison offered a million times to take you shopping.  Kira even invited you over for a sleepover.

- Scott being the only one who wasn’t pushing you to do anything.  

- in fact he was the one who drove you to Eichen to give Stiles his pillow

I’m sorry ma’am, he can’t have visitors yet-”

“Tough shit”

- Scott being surprised when you pushed past the nurse and waltzed towards Stiles’ room because you were usually so calm and collected in public, and never disrespectful towards your elders

- Swiping a key card off of a passing orderly, and pretty much sneaking into Stiles’ little chamber that was hardly an actual warm

- Your heart broke when you looked at him.  His eyes were dark, there were pink bags under them, and his skin was much paler than usual

y/n? Scott? How’d you guys even get in?”

- being tugged into a hug that made you feel like home wasn’t a place anymore

- he smiled when you showed him that you’d brought his pillow

Stiles… what did they do to you?”

- your reunion was short lasted, and you were being dragged out by a male nurse named Brunski

Wait- y/n-!”

“Stiles!”

“I’m gonna get out soon!”

- hearing him yell those same words over and over as Brunski kicked you and Scott out of the building

- wearing Stiles’ lacrosse hoodie for the next few days, waiting for him to come back

- When Noah picked him up, he brought him straight to your house, again, shattering your heart at his clearly unstable persona

- He told you first that he’d known Void had taken over

- You both sat on your bed for a long time, criss cross in the middle of the mattress just talking over everything that happened

- He was crying by the time he got to the part about Void making him have sex with Malia (which he never really knew if it was Void..or him…) and kill his room mate Oliver

I’m a killer I’m a killer y/n I belong there I’m a psycho”

“No.. no Stiles that’s not you, that’s the demon it’s not you”

- He broke down a few times that day, and you had him lay his head in your lap so you could softly run your hands through his hair.  He fell asleep mumbling something about voices

- You called the pack quickly and had them come over

- BIG pack meeting (while Stiles was asleep in your room) about what you were going to do

y/n what if he takes over and you- or or- or anyone- what if someone gets hurt?”

“You’re not going to hurt me Stiles”

- having that conversation a lot

- in school just grabbing onto his hand when he’d get quiet, in the halls at lunch, in class

- whenever you were separated, texting him constantly

you: how do you feel?
Stiles: idk lonely
you: you’re in bio right?
stiles: yeah
you: I’m on my way over tell the teach you’re goin to the bathroom

- this happened many many times in a single day

- seriously his teacher began to ask if he had some bladder infection

- the day Stiles Void was in Derek’s loft was a hard day for you.  Watching Chris pull a gun on the boy made you scream, but before you could go up to the Man, Derek had pinned your arms behind your back

- it hurt more seeing Void smirk upon the action

oh your little spazz is so pissed right now.  he’s quite angry with you Derek” The demon chuckled louder when everyone exchanged confused glances.  “Well, you’re hurting y/n”

- you officially became afraid of Void when Allison had attempted to taser him, and it had no effect on him.

- you hid behind Scott while he was tied to the chair

“he’s so upset y/n, he’s upset that he’s the one scaring you”

- you moved further behind Scott, gripping onto the Alpha’s arm and burying your face into his back

oh this is new… jealousy.  he’s not a happy camper”

- you silently thanked Melissa when she put a thick duct tape over his mouth

- watching him pull foot after foot of rope from his throat horrified you in a way that will haunt your nightmares for many years to come

it’s me guys, I swear it’s me”

- beating Scott to it, and both you and Stiles crashing onto the ground in a hug.  You cried into his neck, your body crushing his chest.  His arms wound around you and he cried too

- you stuck next to him in the McCall living room while everyone else came up with the plan to get Lydia back from Void

you’re okay now?”

- he’d responded by putting his head on your shoulder, and taking your hand in his

I’m here to save my best friend”

“And I’m here to save mine”

- Scott had looked at you, prompting you to say what everyone (minus Stiles) knew you were here for (to save the boy you loved) but you’d only nodded, too afraid in the moment to say anything

- you’d screamed, nearly louder than Lydia upon seeing an Oni pierce a blade through your Argent friend

- Stiles had grabbed onto you so fast, holding your face against his chest as you were still screaming, body convulsing against his.

- he ended up having to pick you up off the ground, while Scott was with Allison.  He carried you to the jeep, and you sat in silence with him in the backseat

- Chris took you both with him, Scott, Isaac, and Lydia to the police station to *cough* explain the death of Allison Argent

- Noah let you stay silent, seeing how much deeper it was  effecting you

- the man took you with him and Stiles home for the night

- you barely slept, you just laid in bed across from Stiles, who was holding both your hands between his

It’s my fault, I did it to her-”

“Stop, you didn’t, you know you didn’t”

- you were already out of tears, the entire void experience had drained you, so you were mostly in silence.  But here and there Stiles would say something to you

Do you hate me?”

“Of course not”

- he asked this a few more times that night, until eventually you leaned up, and kissed his cheek, then buried your face into his shirt, whispering a soft ‘no’ before finally falling asleep

- you were pissed when he held the sword to his chest, the stupid boy thinking that it would help everybody

Stiles don’t, Stiles don’t please, please don’t, drop it Stiles please”

- when he’d dropped it, you’d wrapped both arms around his waist, and didn’t release the entire night

- you freaked when he passed out after void turned to dust

- but when he woke up, you were more relieved than you’d ever been before

- the both of you went together to get clothes for Allison’s funeral

Is this one okay?” you would ask softly

“I think it’s beautiful”

“Stiles you said that about the last four”

- your hand was wrapped in his throughout the entire ceremony

- and after, you him Scott Lydia and Kira went to the McCall house, just wanting to grieve together

- it took you a few weeks to find actual peace, but Stiles was there with you through all of it

- but the day Stiles came to your doorstep an eager and boyish grin on his face as he told you Malia Tate (a girl who’d quickly become your friend) was his girlfriend, you’d lied to him for the first time

good for you Stiles, I’m glad you found someone who made you happy”

while on the inside it was more like…

“that’s great Stiles, not like I had my fucking heart on my fucking sleeve for you.  glad that you found someone who’s better than me”

- but he was smiling so happily, you couldn’t tell him the truth

- Scott chewed you out for lying, Kira chewed you out for not telling Stiles you loved him, and Lydia chewed you out for not jumping Stiles’ bones when you’d had the chance

- and every time there was some sort of opportunity for you to say something to Stiles, Scott would give you a look, or Lydia would kick you under the table, or Kira would cough.  Sometimes all three

- but you were somewhat friends with Malia.  and you were friends with Stiles.  So you let them have their relationship, and you slowly grew away from Stiles

- you became closer with Liam, a new beta, and his friend Mason

- you loved Mason

Scott, Scott who’s that kid she’s talking to? Since when did she go for freshmen?”

“Stiles, he’s gay, and you have a girlfriend”

- you didn’t know this, but every time Scott reminded Stiles of his girlfriend, he did it bitterly.  

Is uh… is Stiles and Malia going okay?”

I dunno why don’t you ask”

- Scott became a very bitter person when either of you brought up the other.  But Lydia would back him up with something snarky

- when in Mexico, watching Stiles let Malia dance dirty with him, went right on the list of things that would haunt your dreams.  Which sucked, seeing that being stalked, attacked, and your best friend being murdered was on the same list

- you ended up getting yourself strapped to an electric chair, and Scott took most of the blows, but you got one for mouthing off to the Calevera’s henchman

- Stiles had screamed your name when you were released, your spasming body falling to the ground.  But Lydia had gotten to you first, and Stiles just stood and watched as she held you and asked if you were alright repeatedly

I-I-I-I’ll b-b-be al-alright” 

- when the spasming ended, she helped you up, and Stiles couldn’t tear his eyes off you

- he’d never been jealous of Lydia before, but her arm around your waist as she walked you back out to the jeep seemed threatening to him

- you sat in the backseat on the ride home (the day was interesting… a young Derek being in the backseat and weird bone men attacking Kira and Malia.  Not to mention the Calevera’s torturing you) Scott and Kira were on his bike following the Jeep.  Malia in  your  the passengers- seat.  And you were wedged between the younger version of Derek Hale, and Lydia on your other side

- young Derek was hitting on you, and you just let it happen.  What? you liked the way Stiles would glare at the teen through the rear view mirror

- you’d gone with Scott Malia and Peter to the school for the Hale loft, and ended up getting attacked by Berserkers

- Stiles came to pick you guys up, and yelled at you for going.  you’d stayed silent, not wanting to break the friendship you were painfully keeping up.

- Scott took you home on the motor bike, and when he dropped you off he asked you how much it was hurting you before you went to the door

I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“I know when you lie, y/n”

“Then it seems to me you knew the answer when you asked the question”

- and when he heard your voice crack before you walked away, he did know the answer.  more certain this time anyways

- you went to Lydia’s party, before it was a party anyways, and the blonde freshman lacrosse player, was hitting on you all.  night.  At one point he had himself leaning against you, both arms caging you against the wall.

Alright, really, you’re nice, but you’re too young for me and I’m not interested-”

“Come on babe, age is just a numb-”

“She said she wasn’t interested”

- your has had widened impossibly further when Stiles had pried the boy off of you 

go screw your actual girlfriend Stilinski” was all the boy said

- but thankfully he had left after that

- you’d exchanged a glance with Stiles, and he’d asked quietly if you were alright.  You nodded, thanked him, then excused yourself to find Lydia

- you told Lydia everything that happened in the last twenty minutes

- the entire pack spent the night at the lake house, even Liam did, spending most of the time talking with Scott about what being a werewolf meant

- the same blonde boy, Garret, tried to kill you a week later, to which you’d hit him over the head a few times with a bat before sprinting through the almost empty school, finding Scott, who told you the other girl, Violet had tried to kill him for being a werewolf

I’m on the deadpool”

- the realization meant you weren’t as human as you thought.  you’d said this at the pack meeting, and for some reason, your eyes were locked with Stiles’.  before Malia pulled his attention back to her

- so you went from researching with Stiles, to researching with Lydia

- you found out that you were a witch.  not the broomstick kind, but the kind with telekinesis.  You figured that the bite triggered it in you, but never really proved that theory

- so you did some training with Liam, both of you learning about your powers together since he was still trying to get the hang of the werewolf thing

- but you still missed Stiles miserably, and Lydia was the one who seemed to notice the most

y/n i love you, but you’re miserable.  All the time”

- and she was right

- so one night, on a total whim at 10 pm, you drove yourself over the Stilinski house hold to talk to Stiles.  Maybe tell him your true feelings, or just talk, because he had to notice the change in your relationship, right?

- but fate was against you that night.  your car got a flat tire, which lead to Kate kidnapping you and dragging your sorry lover ass to Mexico

- Stiles lost his freaking mind

- when the pack (+ a shady ass Peter) came to get you, Scott was long turned into a berserker

- and when he broke free from the curse, Peter revealed his true intentions, and knocked you out with one blow

- you woke up to a lot of movement, and barely opened your eyes to see Stiles carrying you, yelling that you were going to be okay over and over again

- you just smiled a little bit, and leaned into him as he brought you to the jeep

- he let you sit in the passenger’s seat on the ride home

- Lydia hugged you tight, and screamed at you for having a death wish

- you her Malia and Kira had a sleepover, where you might have had some drinks and maybe proclaimed your love for Stiles

- but Malia was actually cool with it

- you forgot all about it the next day

- that summer, all of you went to San Diego together, and promised each other to make it a tradition

- senior year was gonna be bad, and it was all Stiles would talk about.

I mean Theo? he seemed really shady don’t you think y/n? Don’t you think?”

“no, I think you mean to say he seemed dreamy

- you didn’t know how much more shady that made Theo seem to Stiles

- you opened up with him more though.  your friendship was still mending back together, but at least he no longer ignored you

- Theo made his advances on you, and when he asked oyu out, you’d happily said yes

- when you told Stiles, he made a face

what? I thought it was sweet”

“well I think he has other plans.  why else would he ask you out?”

- Stiles immediately realized his mistake

wow Stiles.  so what reason would a guy ask me out if he wasn’t trying to use me?”

- there were tears in your eyes as you stormed out of the house, ignoring Stiles as he yelled after you

- you went on your date with Theo, and he was a real gentleman

- you made big deals about kissing in front of Stiles

he reeks of jealousy”

“that’s not jealousy Theo, that’s just anger.  and that’s what we’re going for”

- after two weeks of this, you were trapped in your room on a school night, reading up on chimeras when there was a knock on your front door.  you didn’t expect Stiles to be standing there

we need to talk”

“if this is about Theo, then go home Stiles because-”

“I don’t care about Theo, I did something bad y/n”

- you’d quickly ushered him in, and upstairs to your room

- he began to cry, and you rubbed his back comfortingly, throwing all your past conflicts out the window, just wanting the boy whom your heart ached for to feel safe here

- you weren’t expecting him t tell you that he’d killed Donovan, but you sure weren’t mad at him like you thought he’d be

you don’t hate me?”

“no” you answered softly

- you had a movie night together, and for a few hours, it seemed great, pocorn fights, for a whole Star Wars film you’d even slept on his shoulder

- you were woken up by Stiles getting up, and cleaning the area

you can stay the night if you want, my parents aren’t home”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Malia’s probably already waiting for me at home, and I don’t think your boyfriend would like me staying over night with you”

- surprisingly, his voice wasn’t dripping with sarcasm, or bitterness, but with reget, and a sad undertone.  you’d nodded, and followed him to the door as he put on his shoes and jacket

- you told him to get home safe, and he pulled you in for a hug that you hadn’t had in so long that just… replenished your well being

- Theo was a lying, bitchy, manipulative, jerk

- Lydia was admitted into Eichen

- Liam hated Scott

- Kira was with skin-walkers

- Stiles broke up with Malia

- and you were broken

“you were right you were right” you cried to Stiles on his doorstep in the pouring rain.  “I should’ve listened you’re always right”

“Shh..shh come inside”

- he wrapped you up in blankets and towels until your body stopped shaking, and you broke down to him, just like you had both done before.  You told him how you missed Lydia and Kira, how Malia wasn’t talking to you (to which he said ditto) and how Scott steered clear of everybody

- you fell asleep in his arms

- it was difficult, but the two of you had managed to cinch the pack back together, enough to kidnap Kira, and plan to save Lydia

- Theo’s pack seemed to have plans for her too, and you ended up getting held hostage by Theo in Eichen

- Scott and Stiles found you, his claws to your throat

- and you’d never seen Stiles so furious

- Scott ended up kicking ass, and you were thrown into Stiles’ arms

- YOU SAVED LYDIA!!!

- the pack barely did it but they escaped, and all went to Deaton’s where the emissary and Scott Kira and Malia stayed in the operation room to help Lydia

- you went to sit outside on the curb of the vet, needing frfesh air to clear your mind

- Stiles followed you and sat beside you

I was really freaked out tonight… when..uh.. when Theo had you”

“Trust me, I was to” You managed a soft laugh, and glanced over at him.  His eyes were stuck down on his shoes.

I didn’t like the thought of… of you being gone… or something” Stiles added in a weak voice.  Again, you smiled a little bit at him.

I’m not going anywhere Stilinski, you’ve got nothing to worry about” You put your hands into the pockets of the hoodie (the red one you’d stolen from Stiles earlier that night)

yeah but… but what if something did”

“Stiles” You turned to him.  “I’m fine, really, I don’t have a single cut, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry so much-”

- Stiles Stilinski had cut you off, leaning forward, cupping your cheeks, and kissing you for the very first time.  It was a long, warm, and very passionate kiss

y/n, I do have to worry… I-I love you-”

- you cut him off, holding his own face in your hands, leaning forward, and kissing him for the very second time in a needy, emotions displayed kiss

I love you too Stiles”

- you had a few happy tears in your eyes as you two kissed a few more times, only slightly aware of the pack watching you through the windows of the building

- you pretended not to notice Kira giving Scott thirty bucks

- Stiles drove everyone home, dropping you off last and trailing you to your doorstep

- he promised you that when all the Dread Doctor business was over, that he’d take you on a real date, to which you nodded, and kissed him quickly on the tips of your toes, before saying goodnight and heading inside for the night

- you high fived Stiles when Theo was dragged to the pits of hell, and that very night, went out on your first date

- it was a picnic at the overlook in the Beacon Hills Preserve, and it was beautiful.

- lots of kisses

- a really lot

- his hand was wrapped around yours as he drove you home, and as always, he stood with you at your door

I’m not usually one for taking boys home after a first date, but my parents aren’t home and I don’t wanna wait anymore”

- the infamous Stilinski smirk as you were pressed against the door in a matter of seconds, and familiar warm lips sealed yours

- the sex was nothing less of hot

- neck kisses, you weren’t surprised Stiles loved hickeys

- he let you set the pace, and asked you for consent five too many times

- the look on his face was priceless when you snapped on the sixth time, and you’d told him to shut up and fuck your brains out

- (but hey, he did just that)

- and after you fell asleep together, him on his back and your front pressed into his side, your head on his bare chest and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat in your ear

- lazy morning sex

- then shower sex

- then he made you breakfast, and you giggled half way through eating it

what?”

“oh nothing, I’m just surprised you haven’t thrown me onto the table yet”

“well I was waiting for you to finish eating”

- he wasn’t lying.  *clears throat and sputters*

- you applied for a lot of colleges together.  but here and there you’d come across one that seemed good for you, but would be far from Stiles.  You applied, on the off chance you even had the ability to get in, but didn’t tell him about the ones in New York, or Tennessee.

- you told Lydia, because you couldn’t just keep it to yourself.  There was a certain hype that came with college applications.  Lydia hated keeping secrets nowadays, but promised not to tell.  You never questioned her loyalty

- but one day you were telling her and Malia about a university in Maine called Colby.  How great it seemed, but how you had other options that would keep you and the pack closer to Beacon Hills.  You may have gotten a little vocal about the situation.

You want to go to school in Maine?” you’d whirled around so fast upon the voice of your boyfriend.  Lydia and Malia ran off as soon as you were looking away.

“N-no-”

“But you applied there?” Stiles asked, his voice a prime example of broken.

“Yes- but I didn’t- it was more of a wonder really” You felt guilty immediately.  “Stiles I didn’t want to.. I wasn’t- it was just-” You stopped trying to talk to take a deep breath.

Do… do you still want the vision?” He asked, stepping closer.  Your hands wrapped around his forearms.

“Of course I do Stiles, I want that with you” You said.  “I mean it, I want that” He nodded, eyes flickering to the ground with uncertainty.  “Stiles I love you, and the idea of going to college with you… maybe rent an apartment or something, really starting our.. our future? You held onto him tighter, and he looked at you.  “That excites me and frightens me at the same time okay?” He nodded.

- dramatic kisses

- everywhere.

- all the time.

- sometimes in lunch after a particularly difficult day in class, you’d wrap both arms around one of Stiles’, and lay your head on his shoulder in a half nap.

- but other days he’d have an arm around your waist, or your hands would be intertwined on one of your legs, or on the table.

- pushing him to take his class picture

y/n, I already took it”

“Uhm, no you didn’t Stiles.  There’s no photo here”

- Stiles argued with you for a bit bout, until you ended up dragging him to get his picture taken, again.

- Malia and you became really close friends, like connected at the hip kind of close.  It surprised everyone, but it made you happy.  Friends were important to keep close in this town

- Stiles called you later that night.

Baby what’s wrong it’s one am?” You’d mumbled upone answering.

“I-I saw- I saw them” His shaky voice replied.

Saw who Stiles?” You asked, sitting up in bed now.

“The ghost riders” 

- you went to his house to spend the night, and talked for a long time about what it all meant.  You fell asleep crying in his arms, and him cooing and hushing you while running his fingers through your hair.

- the next day at school you’d clung to him like crazy

- he was taken that night, you’d been sitting in the jeep with him, holding onto him so tightly you were sure it would be impossible for anyone to get him.  He’d repeatedly told you he loved you, anything he could.

y/n please try-”

“I couldn’t ever forget you Stiles” You said, crying hard as tears blurred your vision.  “I love you, I love you so much you’ll never know.  I want everything with you, I still do, I want us to go to college together, Stiles I wasnt to spend the rest of my life with you” You sobbed, and he held you tight, and leaving bruising kiss on your lips.

“I want that too y/n, I want that too” Your arms wound around his neck, holding him closer as his head was buried into your neck.

- you still cried in the jeep even after he was pried away from you, and dragged out through the door.


hehehehe this is sooo long I’ve had this in my drafts for months.

anywho here’s somethin a lil extra to just top off my excitement for being back on tumblr again

Yes, Sir // A Mitch Rapp Smut

Collab With The One And Only @stilinski-jpeg

Relationship: Mitch Rapp x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Explicit Sexual Content, Smut, Violence (like seriously some crazy shit goes down), Oral (69), Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Unprotected Sex, Rough Sex, Choking, and Swearing.

Word Count: 9,859 

Song: Young God by Halsey

A/N: Hey guys! Welcome to day 2 of #MitchWeek! Yes, this smut is completely inspired by that bathtub scene from the trailer. I came up with this idea and immediately told Nia about it to which she said and I quote “if you don’t write this, I will.” And so we decided to turn it into a collab! I hope you guys love how intense this is as much as we do. We really felt no need to hold back.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Mitch snarled at Stan Hurley as the pair walked down the long hallway.

“If anyone needs a babysitter, it’s you.” Stan chuckled at his least favourite trainee’s expense.

Keep reading

brutally honest descriptions of the mbti types based off my experiences with them via a very sleep deprived infp

enfp:

-commitment issues? haha i’ve never heard of those :))))

-will literally punch a toddler in the throat if they say they support trump

-so i took the mbti test 7 times and i got infp twice and entp once?? i don’t really know, because i kind of fit into the infj sterotypes more, but if you really think about it i’m kind of an enfj? but i also really relate to isfps, but then again i think i’m too opinionated and logical to be a feeler, so entp isn’t out of the question, but i also feel like the entj cognitive functions really fit m

-genuinely love animals and it’s so pure

-hi sorry for not replying, i was in prison :3 also i moved to norway lol

-actually just the 2007 taco xd random aesthetic irl

-“i just came up with another book plot” texts approximately every 2.3 hours

isfp:

-hi i’m melissa i’m a 23 year old art school dropout and i abuse prescription pills but it’s okay because i have 200 followers on my grunge aesthetic instagram account. rent me an apartment?

-(talking about veganism to someone at a party) i just don’t understand how anyone could put all of that stuff in their body :/ *bends down to snort a line of cocaine*

-actually really artistically talented but much like the infp they refuse to give themselves any credit for it

-my dream man is someone who goes to coachella with me, helps me align my charkas, takes sad candid pictures of me, is willing to backpack around europe with me and my philosophy class during the summer,

-*googles* why do i share a type with literally every indie musician that has ever breathed lol

-probably fucked your girl in the back of a vape shop

infj:

-if you manage to find one never let them go they are some of the best people you’ll ever meet

-huge harry potter nerds

-can manage to get you to spill out your entire life story to them with a concerned glance

-please actually care for yourself for once and a while literally you do everything for everyone else just take some time for yourself god dammit you deserve it

-CATS™

-could be literally the most talented person in the world but would never come close to admitting it

-hi i’m actually just jesus christ irl! nice to meet you :-)

intj:

-they know everything

-like seriously everything it’s kind of scary like calm down karl

- allows themselves to recognize exactly one (1) human emotion per year

-can read for hours on end without getting bored and genuinely loves learning

-are generally dicks tbh especially to the people they love the most

-wikipedia articles™

-they actually aren’t actually the emotionless robots tumblr seems to display them as, they are actually extremely emotional in my experience and tend to get offended/upset easily and over small things

-sci-fi, cats, and machines > humans

-superiority complex™

-cute when they aren’t busy throwing tantrums/crushing the souls of their enemies

esfj:

-hi i’m martha, i’m 32 years young, i like long walks by the beach, yoga, and judging my neighbors for not mowing their lawn :-)  

-tend to be extra™ parents and their kids can either turn out complete emotional wreck assholes because they’ve never been disciplined or the happiest child you’ll ever meet, there is no in between

-they may be complete snakes and have never came up with an original idea in their entire life but boy can they make a killer chicken parmesan

-kind of comforting in a mother-like sense when they aren’t busy being judgmental dicks

-will clean your entire house for you on a whim

infp:

-wow i love being an infj :)) top 1% haha :))

-will literally develop a crush on someone because they say they know what tumblr is

-find purpose in writing/creating in general

-ending toxic relationships?? haha what’s that??? :))

-constantly switches between their “you can’t control me it isn’t a phase mom go away >:(( my chemical pilots at the disco saved me xd i will literally punch a baby fuck the system i’m 2cool4school” persona and their “i’m such a smol bean :3 save all the animals <333 i love pretty girls and dogs :))” persona

-“can i txt you back in like 15 mins i’m having an emotional breakdown lol”

-actually genuinely empathetic and creatively gifted but gives themself credit for none of it

-intelligent but fails classes because their teacher said something that went against their morals

-playing the victim? never heard of it! :))

-secretly just meme hoarders

-attention whores tbh i won’t even deny it

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

entp:

-hi it’s 6 fucking am and everyone just wants to go back to sleep or die or both but i’m gonna start an argument with the professor over the origin of tangerines for no apparent reason

-*googles* how to permanently get rid of my fe in 5 simple steps

-follow my meme page xd

-so what if i love my dog more than i do myself and my entire family?

-this conversation is boring me i’m gonna go chug a bottle of vodka and binge bill nye the science guy™ peace out

-have low self-esteems but compensate through obscure dark web conspiracy theories at 3 in the morning

-shirley i didn’t call you back because you’re a fake ass bitch not because i didn’t like your lasagna at the block party

estp:

-why do i keep physically abusing my crush lol

-and why do i keep yelling i can’t even stop at this point someone please send help

-they love food more than they do themselves

-fuckboys™

-hi welcome to my prank youtube channel :3

-the type of people to show up to school with 37 puppies and a knife

-i’m not gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks

entj:

-sorry i didn’t show up to school because you’re fucking stupid

-awe infp is so cute <3 i’ll destroy them last

-*on the floor, drunk, talking to their dog* you’re the only motherfucker in this town who can handle me

-what do you mean other people’s opinions/beliefs besides my own are valid lol??

-lowkey have daddy kinks

-what do you mean it’s physically impossible for me to control every aspect of my life??

-i mean if you really think about it voldemort was the victim,

-the type of person who could tell their crush they like them without flinching. terrifying

istp:

-wears d.a.r.e shirts ironically

-1990’s grunge aesthetic

-would walk into a burning building for the meme

-playing the hero?? haha never heard of it :))

-ew what the fuck man get those feelings away from me lol

-fuck da police

-following the rules?? that seems excessive lmao no thanks

istj:

-i once had one (1) original idea back in the summer of ’67. it was terrifying. i’ll never do it again.

-your scary math teacher that wears black socks everyday expects friday. then they jazz it up a bit with stripes. will mark your grade up if you say you like the same sports team as they do.

-understanding concepts outside of your own experiences? lmao no thanks?

-will make quizlet sets organize your desk for you

-my dream in life is to narrate a crime documentary and complete my george washington memorabilia collection.

-remembers all of their colleagues birthdays. doesn’t say happy birthday.

enfj:

-fucking get over your ex already he wasn’t that attractive calm down allison

-*googles* why do i relate to regina george from mean girls so much?

-the type of person who tells your boyfriend you have a crush on him

-o v e r d r a m a t i c

-gets your shit together for you. judges you

intp:

-dead inside

-if you can manage to find one that actually tolerates you they are some of the most loyal and true people you’ll ever meet

-horrible social skills, compensates through meme hoarding

-sends you links to conspiracy theory videos when you’re sad

-extremely intelligent but they get lost in their own house

-whoops i just remember i haven’t showered in 3 weeks lol

-i would laugh at that joke but i’m 3 hours deep into an existential crisis and i’m 100% convinced you are actually a robot created by bill clinton so not today jeff

esfp:

-yes homo

-cries over cat videos in public

-facetimes you in a grasshopper fursuit at 3 in the morning

-probably an alcoholic

-has 87 different crushes at once

-you haven’t talked to them in 7 years but they’ll show up at your birthday party and give you dog

-also attention whores

-generally has the personality of someone who just did 10 lines of cocaine

isfj:

-one sec let me just gather up all of the fake empathy i can muster for this particular situation

-that one kid in class who always has perfect notes

-shudders at the thought of… a… creative… thought….

-falls in love with an estp approximately every 23 seconds

-hi i’m karen, i’m 34, i love my family, cupcake baking, helping people of course until it interferes with my own personal comfort haha, christmas decorations, room layouts,

-probably has a studyblr

estj:

-your angry boss

-probably cyberbullies children on the internet 

-has an emotional breakdown when they don’t win classroom jeopardy 

-*googles* who is bernie sanders and why do i want him dead

-organizes your shit for you, regrets it later

-dead inside

Angel in the Darkness (M) pt. 8

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Summary: After a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. Little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named Jeon Jungkook.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (ft. Jin, but not romantically)

Word count: 6.5k

Genre: Smut (M), angst, mafia!au, prostitution!au

A/N:This is a dark and filthy story! Graphic descriptions of sex (oral, penetration, etc), heavy dom/sub undertones, drug use, vulgar language use… This is a mature read! You have been warned!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9



“Again? Didn’t we already talk about this?” your mother scolded with a sigh, as you two entered your small apartment.

She had gotten a call from work at the rehab centre, that you had gotten into another fight with the kids at your school. And this became an alarming concern to her since this was the third time this month that you had fought with others.

“I didn’t mean too…” the nine-year-old you sniffled, as you shyed away from your mother’s harsh glare.

“Y/n this is the third time this month that your school has called me!” your mother exclaimed tiredly from the kitchen, getting ready to prepare dinner for the two of you.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered from your spot on the sofa, trying to withhold your tears. You knew your mother hated when you got into fights – you didn’t even like it either, but the kids always picked on you. You just wanted them to stop…

“You said you were sorry last time.”

“I know…” you mumbled in reply.

“Then why do you keep fighting?” she frustrated. “No matter what those kids say, you don’t put your hands on them.”

“But they wouldn’t stop!”

“Then tell the teacher-”

“They hit me first,” you interrupted. This caused your mother to pause in the middle of her footsteps.

“Why?” she asked in confusion.

“They just wouldn’t stop saying those horrible things, even though I begged them…”  you said as your tears started to fall.

Keep reading

Perfect Ten

Summary:  Just like his freckles and bowlegs, Dean’s slight pudge has always been a part of himself that he’s never felt completely comfortable with.  After a few miserable days of unsuccessful dieting and choking down rabbit food, Cas reminds him exactly how beautiful he is.   


“You’re getting kinda chubby!”  

Charlie makes this remark lightly, offhandedly, as she passes by Dean on the way to breakfast that morning:  Dean had been stretching his arms overhead in a yawn so that his cotton shirt rode up over his stomach, which Charlie takes the opportunity to poke.

Startled, he looks down just in time to see the disconcerting way in which her fingertip sort of smushes into the soft, freckly flesh.  

Dean halts in his tracks, blinking comprehensively.  “Wait, what?”  is all he can think to say.

Charlie, who’d been nonchalantly continuing on her way down the hall, turns to look at him.  “Well, you don’t have to sound so offended about it,” she laughs.  “I didn’t mean it in a bad way or anything!”

Dean folds his arms defensively.  “Then what did you mean, Charles?”

“First of all, I answer only to Charlie, Ms. Bradbury, or the Illustrious Queen of Moondoor.  Next, I just meant you put on a couple pounds.  Maybe getting a bit of a tummy.  It’s no big deal.”

Dean looks comprehensively down at his stomach.  Now that he thinks about it, he has been eating more these days – he’s been going through sort of a “nesting period” during his relationship with Cas:  lots of baking pies, burgers, etc.  He didn’t think it was noticeable.  

Taking note of the gravity of his expression, Charlie laughs, punching him lightly in the shoulder.  “You don’t have to look so glum about it!  It’s cute.”

Dean glowers at her, tugging self consciously at his t-shirt.  “M’not cute,” he mutters grouchily.  “I’m a warrior.

Charlie laughs again.  “Alright, warrior.  Hurry up and take care of your morning breath – Kevin’s making waffles again!”

With that, Charlie skips off down the hall, leaving Dean to steep in his juices.  He lets Charlie laugh it off, of course – he knows she didn’t mean any harm – but the fact is, Dean’s always known he’s had a little bit of pudge around his midsection, and he’s always been the slightest bit insecure about it.  Just like his freckles and bowlegs, it’s one of the things about himself that he’s never particularly liked.  

His one solace was convincing himself that these features weren’t as noticeable to everyone else as they are to him.  Now, that seems to have changed.  

Dean pulls up the rim of his shirt, noting sourly the way in which his pudge protrudes slightly over the waistband of his pajama pants.

Suddenly he doesn’t feel so hungry anymore.

Keep reading

° ✧ GAME OF THRONES PROMPTS. PART II.

possible triggers, read/reblog with caution.

SEASON FOUR :

❛ You lost, friend? ❜
❛ Forgive me for staring… ❜
❛ May I tell you a secret? ❜
❛ I’m here to welcome you to the capital… ❜
❛ How did that come to pass? ❜
❛ You don’t partake? ❜
❛ I was invited to the royal wedding. ❜
❛ I thought we were speaking truth. ❜
❛ The last time I was in the capital was many years ago. ❜
❛ I’ve heard rumors. ❜
❛ I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened– ❜
❛ You must not have been very good at your job. ❜
❛ Do you intend to execute me or am I free to go? ❜
❛ You know what? You should come with us.  ❜
❛ You got money to pay for it? ❜
❛ You don’t seem to understand the situation. ❜
❛ I place far too much trust in you. ❜
❛ You murdered them and displayed their corpses. ❜
❛ You ready for a hunt? ❜
❛ Though you’re not the champion yet, are you? ❜
❛ I’m sure they have a spare costume. ❜
❛ I would like to keep what remains of my face. ❜
❛ This one is clearly mad with lust. ❜
❛ What good is an empty cup? Fill it. ❜
❛ If you want to live, we have to leave. ❜
❛ I’m not trying to trick you. ❜
❛ They’ll be following you, now. ❜
❛ Are you going to accept their offer? ❜
❛ I will not have you dying on my behalf! ❜
❛ You got to do all seven of the fuckers? ❜
❛ Call that a fight? ❜
❛ It means something to me. ❜
❛ They want to draw us out, pick us off a few at a time. ❜
❛ There's got to be a way to protect them. ❜
❛ Your hatred for my family is…rather well known. ❜
❛ You think we conspired together? ❜
❛ But you want something in return. ❜
❛ That must be hard for you to admit. ❜
❛ I will not disappoint you. ❜
❛ I will not gamble with your life. ❜
❛ I bring your enemies what they deserve. ❜
❛ You want to live the rest of your life in chains? ❜
❛ What do you think they’ll do to us? ❜
❛ We have no training, no weapons. ❜
❛ If you want it, you must take it. ❜
❛ I will answer injustice with justice. ❜

SEASON FIVE :

❛ Trial? I have confessed. ❜
❛ My point is, we don’t choose whom we love. ❜
❛ What I’m trying and failing to say… ❜
❛ I know what you’re trying to say. ❜
❛ I think a part of me always knew and I’m glad. ❜
❛ Do you have any last words? ❜
❛ Perhaps, even you are innocent of that. ❜
❛ I can not disobey my king’s command. ❜
❛ I’m not going to kill you. ❜
❛ You’re going to advise me. ❜
❛ I’m not going to be banished…  ❜
❛ We’re all the same to them, meat for their army. ❜
❛ Why should I spend my time listening to you? ❜
❛ I will have a very large army and very large dragons. ❜
❛ What will we find when we strip away your finery? ❜
❛ Let go of vanity, pride, sin. ❜
❛ Lies come easily to you, everyone knows that. ❜
❛ I just need a moment of your time. ❜
❛ How many centuries before we learn how to build cities like this again? ❜
❛ This is my home. And you can’t frighten me. ❜
❛ It takes courage to admit fear, and to admit a mistake. ❜
❛ I came here to you that I was wrong. ❜
❛ This isn’t a strange place, this is my home. ❜
❛ You’re going the wrong way. ❜
❛ What a waste of a good kidnapping. ❜
❛ So happens, I was heading there myself. ❜
❛ The dead don’t need lovers, only the living. ❜
❛ Don’t you want to chase the rats out of it? ❜
❛ My place is here. ❜
❛ I’m giving you a chance to avenge your family. ❜
❛ I wish I could fight beside you. ❜
❛ I can imagine no higher praise. ❜
❛ I won’t try and dissuade you. ❜
❛ I’m sorry I’m always snapping at you. ❜
❛ If you didn’t snap at me I wouldn’t learn anything. ❜
❛ I’m going to show you how to ride properly. ❜
❛ I can teach you how to fight. ❜
❛ I suppose that’s more important. ❜
❛ You loved your family, avenge them. ❜
❛ There’s no justice in the world. Not unless we make it. ❜
❛ I don’t feel guilty. That’s what’s odd. ❜
❛ They don’t fear you, they don’t follow you.  ❜
❛ And how long will that be? ❜
❛ There are only two like it in the world. ❜
❛ You never told me why you set me free. ❜
❛ You’re not family, you owe me nothing. ❜

SEASON SIX :

❛ Everything they’ve taken from us, we’re going to take back. ❜
❛ It’s a good thing you’re not a boy/girl anymore. ❜
❛ That’s what I do. I drink and I know things. ❜
❛ I’m here to help. Don’t eat the help. ❜
❛ I’ve heard conflicting reports. ❜
❛ What kind of god would have a pecker that small? ❜
❛ My reign has just begun. ❜
❛ We make peace with our enemies, not our friends. ❜
❛ If you did know, you’re my enemy. ❜
❛ If you didn’t know, you’re an idiot. ❜
❛ Fuck justice then. We’ll get revenge. ❜
❛ Violence is a disease. ❜
❛ You’re shit at dying, you know that? ❜
❛ Trust me – if my soup didn’t kill you, nothing will. ❜
❛ We may as well be taking shits back here. ❜
❛ If you ever come back this way, I will execute you myself. ❜
❛ You don’t have to be here. ❜
❛ Perhaps we should take shelter. ❜
❛ Have you ever met the blackfish? ❜
❛ Why did we have to come here? ❜
❛ That is hardly your concern. ❜
❛ The gods have a plan for us all. ❜
❛ Have they hurt you? Have they mistreated you? ❜
❛ Is there no other way? ❜
❛ Come with me…now. The dead don’t rest. ❜
❛ I’m tired of fighting. It’s all I’ve done since I left home. ❜
❛ Where will you go? ❜
❛ After they stabbed you, where did you go? ❜
❛ What do you remember? ❜
❛ They obviously had help. ❜
❛ Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face. ❜
❛ If I lost my cock I would drink all the time. ❜
❛ Apologies for what you are about to see. ❜
❛ And we’re going to fight it in there? ❜
❛ Sinners don’t make demands, they make confessions. ❜
❛ I offer my services once again. ❜
❛ Help me get him/her inside. ❜
❛ I have never been much of a fighter. ❜
❛ The three eyed raven says there’s a war coming. ❜
❛ We have to cross here. ❜
❛ I can’t speak for the flames, but he’s/she’s gone. ❜
❛ If we don’t take back the north, we’ll never be safe. ❜
❛ I want you to help me, but I’ll do it myself if I have to. ❜
❛ Don’t you wish we could go back to the day we left?  ❜
❛ I want to scream at myself, “don’t go you idiot.” ❜
❛ That’s what you said. ❜
Cheeky

Request from the lovely @crystalbaby12 for a Jax x Reader based on the following prompt:

#78 - “I need you to be my girlfriend for about 5 minutes.”

Sorry I didn’t include both prompts that you originally asked for!!! Hope you still like it x

Originally posted by journeyslegend

A whistle catches your attention, Jax smiling widely at you from across the room. Getting up, you move over to him, eye brows raised in question.

“Last time I checked, I’m not a dog. My name will do if you need my attention.” He continues to grin as you eventually end up smiling, a common reaction when faced with the man you love.

“I always need your attention, darlin.” he flirts, the playful banter a daily occurrence for the two of you. Though you expect it’s harmless on his end, you can’t help but fall deeper and harder for him, him having no idea about your feelings.

“Doesn’t everyone?” you ask sarcastically, moving to stand beside him, the two of you watching as Gemma and some of the others set the table, a family dinner about to take place. You had of course been invited, Gemma loving you like her own, you and Jax being as close as can be since the two of you met each other four years ago.

“You know how you love me?” Your heart stops for a moment, until your mind catches up and realise he’s just talking platonically, your face flushing all the same. “I need you to do me a favour.”

“Is that so? What’s in it for me?” you question, lifting your bottle of beer to your lips, Jax watching you intently. He continues to smile at you, the look of pure adoration as clear as day to outsiders. But not to you.

“Can’t you just help me out of the goodness of your pretty, pretty heart? You wound me.“ He places his hand on his chest, faux offense on his face. Rolling your eyes, you nudge his body with your own, your skin tingling at the connection.

“What do you need?” You wait for him to respond, genuine curiosity on your face. You had no idea what he needed from you, but knowing Jax, it wouldn’t be simple.

“I need you to be my girlfriend for about five minutes.” The alcohol gets stuck in your throat at his request, an unattractive cough breaking out as you try to recompose yourself. Jax chuckles, shaking his head as he watches you with amusement, liking that he can catch you off guard after all this time.

“No way! I refuse to put myself through such torture.” you say, covering up for the fact that you’d actually love to be his girlfriend. Not just for five minutes, though. For a lot longer.

“You haven’t even heard my reasons yet!” he laughs, used to your stubborn behavior. He grabs your hand, his huge one covering your smaller one so perfectly, his skin warm and comforting as he leads you outside the back, the others not noticing as you slip away.

Once you’re outside, Jax pulls a cigarette from his pocket, offering you one in the process, you declining. “Those things’ll kill you, you know.”

“I’ve heard there’s quite a queue, they’ll have to get in line.” Jax jests, his lungs inhaling the nicotine before the smoke escapes from his lips, your fingers tightly gripping your bottle as you remind yourself to breathe.

“So, please entertain me. Why do you need me to fake date you? I’m sure you’re not short on potential candidates.” You hike yourself up onto the brick wall, your boots just about touching the floor.

“Straight to the point, as usual.” He takes a seat next to you, your thigh brushing his in such a delightful way. “My mom has invited some chick round, thinks we’d get on well.”

You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut, the thought of Jax with somebody else so painful even though you should be used to it by now, females seeming to be everywere he goes.

“You never know, you might like her. Your mom has good taste.” you encourage, trying to keep your expression as natural as possible, not wanting to let on how you really feel about this idea.

Jax shrugs, taking his last drag before throwing the stub to the floor, his eyes finding yours, you looking down from the intensity of his gaze. “Of course she has good taste. She’s been trying to hook us up for years.”

You smile into your lap, a red hot blush covering your cheeks as butterflies flutter in your stomach as Jax gauges your reaction.

“Is that so?” you challenge, the tension between the two of you rising as you look up at Jax, determined to hold his gaze as your faces stay only inches apart.

Jax hums in confirmation, his tongue running over his bottom lip. You break away, your eyes moving in front of you. His thigh moves from yours as he pushes himself off the wall, his body coming to stand in front of you as he pulls you up, you letting him.

“This is new.” you say as Jax pulls you closer to him, his hands resting on your back to keep you from moving away, not that you would. Nevertheless, you remain stiff, not wanting to make a move incase it’s too much.

Jax senses this, rolling his eyes dramatically, huffing as he leads your arms, placing them around his neck, his hands going back to where they were before as you’re pressed up against one another.

“Does that bother you?” he mumurs, the distance between you so small that even if he whispered, you’d hear it as clear as day. You shrug your shoulders shyly, your cheeks definitely a bright shade of red. “You’ve gotta get used to this if you wanna be convincing.”

You can’t control your change in moods as you realise Jax is only doing all of this so you’ll help him get rid of some chick, a sigh leaving your lips as you push at his chest, a confused expression on his face as he removes his grip from you, you stepping back to create distance.

“Is that all I’m useful for, hm? Helping you make excuses so your entourage backs off?” Jax goes to defend himself, you stopping him with your hand. “Save it, Jackson. Thanks for making it clear.”

“Making what clear? What are you talking about?” He grabs your wrist as you turn away, you snatching your arm back as if you’ve been burnt by his touch. He looks completely clueless as he studies you, you trying to compose yourself before you start blubbering in front of him.

“I’m talking about us!” you say, gesturing between the two of you. Sighing, you run your hand through your fringe, trying to think before you speak. “I get that I’m not enough for you, that all I’ll ever be is a friend. But really, asking me to be your girlfriend for five minutes before you drop me again? I’ll pass, thanks.”

“I didn’t think you’d mind! You’ve done it for me before-” Jax stops mid sentence, realisation hitting him in the face like a bus. You frown as he begins to smile, his tongue slipping out of his mouth slightly as he nods towards you. “You’re jealous aren’t you?”

You freeze for a moment, shock on your face, before you feign disgust. Scoffing, you cross your arms defensively. “You wish.”

“Don’t try and lie to me, don’t forget I know you better than anyone.” You curse under your breath as you realise you’ve stepped in a big pile of metaphorical dog shit, and you’re unable to see a way out of it. “You like me.”

“Obviously. You’re my best friend.” you say, trying to remain casual. Jax slowly moves closer to you, you moving backwards until you come into contact with the side of the house, the brick firm against your back. Jax continues to move as you stand, trapped, your palms sweaty due to your nerves.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” he teases, his hands being placed either side of your head as he boxes you in, his face hovering just above yours. “You like me, like me.

“What are you, twelve?” You keep your eyes focused on his, your anxiety almost getting the better of you. Your stomach flips when you see his gaze flick to your lips, you swallowing nervously.

He moves even closer to you, your eyes fluttering closed as he brushes his nose against yours, his breath fanning onto your lips. “I don’t hear any denial.”

“Just kiss me if you’re going to, you idiot.” You open your eyes quick enough to catch Jax with slight shock on his face, before you close them again at the feel of his lips upon yours. You grip his shirt in your fist as you enjoy the moment you’ve been dreaming about for years.

Jax sucks on your bottom lip teasingly, a moan erupting from inside of you. You’re embarrassed for a moment, that is until Jax moans in response, his hands sliding to your ass as he squeezes, lifting you up and pushing you against the brick.

“Guys-” Chibs’ voice interrupts the two of you, his sentence cut short as he sees how you’re occupied. He smirks, you red faced as Jax remains calm and collected. “Gemma is looking for you. No rush, though, take your time.”

He winks at the two of you before disappearing back inside, Jax still holding you as you wiggle to get down. Chuckling, Jax complies with your request, placing you carefully back on the floor. “Continue this later?”

You hum, slipping your fingers up his shirt, his skin warm as he flexes under your touch. Leaning up, you move to his ear, your hand drifting to the waistband of his boxers.

“We’ll see.” With that, you separate from him quickly, slipping back inside with a parting wink.

A/N - Longer than usual but I hope you guys liked it anyway! Xxx

Little Things

MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my very bad attempt at something cute, but you know… Fluff isn’t my best. Also a bit different from what I’ve done in the past, so feedback would be great. I messed up the months, I’m aware. 

Word count: 3,365

Pickering, Canada
April 2024

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My favorite lines from The Defenders

I just had to make a collection for this show 

  •  “People call me Foggy.” “And you let them?”
  • Matt’s speech to Aaron James (Ep. 1)
  • “You’re not abandoning Elektra, you don’t have it in you.” That sass from the priest thou
  • “You got a mouth on ya.” “You noticed.” 
  • “Is the NYPD going to pay you for doing their job?” “No…but,”
  • Josie’s comment towards Foggy
  • “You won’t like me then.” “I don’t like you now.” 
  • “Don’t you bet on it.” *immediately cuts off his hand*
  • “I’m a Catholic guy, I’ve got a soft spot for hopeless causes.” 
  • “There’s this mystical place called K’un-Lun-” “I can answer for myself,” *pauses* “There’s this mystical place called K’un-Lun,” 
  • Luke’s speech/argument with Danny in Ep. 3 
  • “Omg yes I’m gonna quote that” that entire conversation lol
  • “So punching is okay now?” “It’s complicated.” 
  • “You look like an asshole.” “It’s your scarf.” 
  • “Woah, she is very strong.” 
  • “Who hears neon?!”
  • “Is that pork?” “No, it’s shrimp.” “Oh.” *waiter walks in* “That guy has pork.” “Ah great!” 
  • “I get that.” “I don’t, you’re blind.” 
  • “Because this one, the iron fist, immortal weapon and protector of the ancient city, is still a thunderous dumbass.” 
  • “Sit down and shut up.” *immediately walks out*
  • “Jesus, am I the only one left who doesn’t know karate?”
  • “I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.” “Let’s keep it that way”
  • *drives car straight into the restaurant* “Who missed me?” 
  • “Do you understand?” “Do I understand? You are the dumbest Iron Fist yet.” 
  • “That dude was for sure dead the last time I saw him.” “Oh yeah.” “Okay just checking.” I love Claire so much 
  • “The scarf looked better. Nice ears.” “They’re horns.” 
  • “It’s a katana, it was passed down-” “It’s weird.” 
  • “So cool.” “I mean, it’s kind of cool.” 
  • Any time Luke tries to calm Danny down
  • “It’s like you’re making it up as you go along.” “That’s what survivors do.” 
  • “His name is Matthew.” *stabby mcstab stab* “You work for me now.” 
  • “A witness? What do you, do you want me to describe how it sounded?” 
  • *downs a shitty beer* “It’s been a long week.” 
  • *gives Matt in the suit the side-eye* “There it is.”
  • “I’m glad we found each other.” “I’m not hugging you.”
  • “Let’s go ironclad.” “It’s Iron Fist.” “I know.” 


These were just my faves, feel free to add your own! 

20 Autobot Leaders Rated by How Much I Want to Punch Them

Starting with the big guy, the granddaddy of them all, G1 Optimus Prime. He’s like a father to me. I can’t in good conscience punch him, even if he sometimes deserves it for bad puns. 1/10 punchability I just can’t do it 

Rodimus Prime ranks high in the punchability for some because when Optimus died in the original movie, it traumatized kids so much that all their negative feelings got channeled into unbridled rage towards the guy who replaced him. However, I hate those guys because they became insufferable as adults, so that really just lowers Roddy’s punchability for me personally. 4/10 punchability he still kind of deserves it though 

Grimlock led the Autobots for a length of time I can’t remember after Optimus died in the Marvel comics. His was a reign of terror. I can’t decide if his jughead crown is kickin or if i want to kick it off him. 7/10 punchability he gets some lenience for his childlike innocence

Another Marvel comics leader was Fortress Maximus, who was also Cerebros. He was also the leader in the Headmasters anime after Rodimus flew off into space forever but I don’t think he actually had a personality in that. He’s a matryoshka of Autobot leaders with each getting smaller and more punchable than the last, ending in Moody College Student Spike Witwicky, who is thankfully the first one on this list who I don’t have to climb something to punch in the face. 9/10 punchability I’m a very short person so I might have to climb something anyways but that isn’t going to stop me

Last Marvel comics character, I swear. Captain Picard Hi-Q binary bonded with Optimus for a while, then Optimus died (this was about the third time), and Hi-Q eventually turned into Optimus so we just considered Optimus alive again. Don’t think too hard about it. 3/10 punchability I really like Star Trek TNG so I probably wouldn’t punch him

Ginrai’s robot self looks exactly like Optimus Prime, but he isn’t. Why he looks like him is sort of hand-waved away in the anime. The real-life reason, of course, is because he was just the Japanese release of Powermaster Optimus Prime. Ginrai is really good because he talks like an American teenager even when his robot form separated from his human self to become the Autobot commander at the end of Super-God Masterforce. 0/10 punchability I just can’t really punch a guy wearing converse, skinny jeans, and suspenders

Star Saber makes me forget that the Autobots were ever good guys. I don’t think he even has a personality outside of “noble and heroic leader.” He adopted a human son and tried to send him to a Catholic school but he doesn’t even buy him a uniform. The kid barely even goes to school in the end. 9/10 punchability don’t adopt a human if you’re not prepared to care for him

Optimus Primal is a good Autobot leader because he never even set out to be anything more than a captain on one ship but ended up sacrificing himself to bring life back to the planet, probably sparking a religious following. He won the “Power of the Primes” vote so he’s got to have a pretty low punchability, but he also looks like his malleble gorilla face would feel nice on my powerful fist. 5/10 punchability when POTP stuff starts coming will his name change to “optimus primal prime”?

Lio Convoy being a cat makes me not want to punch him so much. However, he isn’t a good father. Don’t worry about the kid not really being his son in any sense of the term. Why is ineptitude at fatherhood a recurring theme for Autobot leaders? 8/10 punchability Lio Junior deserved better

I’ll admit that Beast Wars Neo is the only thing on this list that I haven’t seen or read any of, so Big Convoy is mostly here for completion’s sake. Hence I’m rating him entirely on his appearance. Mostly I wouldn’t want to punch a mammoth, because they’re extinct, but I think he could take it. It would be a good workout for both of us. 10/10 punchability no hard feelings, we’re just two dudes lovingly punching each other

In Japan, he’s known as Fire Convoy, continuing their tradition of Autobot leader names, but in the west he’s the first-ever reboot of Optimus Prime. I don’t have a lot of opinions on him as a person or leader, but his existence opened the floodgates of Optimus Primes to come, which I have mixed feelings on. 5/10 punchability I can’t think of a reason to punch him, but I also can’t think of a reason not to

Armada Optimus Prime suffers from being Armada Optimus Prime. I think this was when they really managed to distill “Optimus Prime” down into its truest form. No longer was Optimus Prime a character, but a concept that extended beyond fiction and into our world. Optimus Prime means something. Optimus Prime is a figure for justice, honor, and liberty. 8/10 punchability I still can’t forget Energon though

Do I have to say anything. I’m not even somebody who vehemently dislikes Hot Shot, but for the love of god, why did he ever get to be a leader. 6/10 punchability I’d punch him but I wouldn’t put a lot of force into it, he’s not even worth it

Movie Optimus Prime is. uh. something else, all right. I can admire the movie taking the idea of Optimus Prime and going “okay, but what if he was also a murderbeast?” because I think that’s something we all really wanted to see play out. In practice it kind of scares me. 2/10 punchability I’m worried if I went for his face I’d no longer have mine

Animated Optimus Prime is a good boy. A baby boy. He’s trying his best in a world that seems against him. We all love him. 0/10 punchability I simply can’t bring myself to mar those luscious lips

I’m sure Animated Ultra Magnus did some great things during the war, but, yunno, seeing how Cybertron under him during peacetime is sort of a Stratocracy, I question his fitness to be the leader of a planet. They really gonna let the government run experiments on civilians? Okay. Alright. 4/10 I don’t want to punch him per se but I do sort of want to lead an armed rebellion against him

Hhh. HHHH. HOOGH. HHHAAAHH. HEH. HHhhhHHH. Just seeing Sentinel Prime’s face fills me with anger. If let loose, this rage could level mountains, sink continents, and incinerate entire solar systems. If there is any good in the cosmos, Sentinel Prime will not go unpunched. His face will be shattered into pieces with the sheer power of my unbridled fury. 10,000/10 punchability I have already punched him, spiritually, and I will do it again

I mean, alright. Prime Optimus Prime is kind of the distilled essence of Optimus Prime. If you took all the other Optimus Primes, and took all the things they had in common, and then took out a little bit of the anger because let’s be real here all the other Optimus Primes are quite a bit angrier than this one, you’d get Aligned Optimus Prime. Which is kind of how the Aligned continuity as a whole works. So, yeah, That Sure Is Optimus Prime. 3/10 punchability his soft-spoken words of wisdom would calm me down before I ever even raised my fist

Heatwave is the quintessential non-Optimus Autobot leader. He’s noble and courageous with a good sense of justice, but he was thrust into leadership without being the best and it and is a bit of a hothead. You can use that exact sentence to describe so many of the bots on this list. 4/10 punchability I don’t want to use violent methods when it comes to Rescue Bots but sometimes Heatwave’s personality warrants it 

I honestly can’t believe it took 30 years for a Bumblebee to be leader for reals. It happened so gradually that nobody was surprised when it happened, and yet it also feels like nobody can really accept it. I know I can’t. He doesn’t even look like any Bumblebee. Is this how longtime G1 fans felt when the Unicron trilogy started reusing names for different-but-not-wholly-different characters to keep the trademarks? 8/10 punchability we know you stole your schtick from Hot Rod via Hot Shot so stop trying to act like you’re so special 

I want to talk about this whole “punching nazis” thing, which I have been thinking about for some days.

To start, let me clarify that I have no moral or ethical qualms with Richard Spencer getting punched in the face on tv. I’d be happy to see it happen again.

But I do have a couple issues with much of the dialogue that has emerged in the wake of this event.

A lot of the people suddenly talking about nazis right now are people who didn’t seem to even realize they existed in this country prior to this election.

A lot of people seem to have gotten some strange ideas about how and where nazis are typically encountered, or who they actually are.

So, I’d like to talk about some of the times in my life when I’ve encountered nazis.

Before I do that, let’s try to establish a definition. There are a lot of different stripes of fascists and white supremacists out there, with varying agendas and varying degrees of organization. In the US we’ve got many types, ranging from the KKK and Aryan Nation to various unorganized skinhead rabble to the newish group calling itself the Alt Right. It seems easiest, at least for the sake of this argument, to lump those all together under one general “nazi” category. But does that really make sense? I’ll come back to that. But for now, in most of the examples I will describe below, these were people who openly called themselves such.

Also, I want to establish a bit about who I am. I don’t like to discuss any of these things publicly, but I also feel like I kind of have to, to explain where I am coming from. So: I am Jewish, I am bi, I am neurodivergent. Due to this last thing, I have certain issues navigating the physical world. I am physically fit but not athletic. I have very little self defense training. By occupation I am a musician.

And lastly I want to point out that these examples are from 15-20 years ago and describe some of my earliest encounters with these forces to provide context. And I’m going to start with some clear cut cases:

I first became aware of the existence of modern nazis my first year in high school. This was in the suburbs of San Francisco. I had a few friends who were into punk music and culture. I heard about “white power punks” and nazi skinheads who would sometimes show up at shows. When I started going out I would see them every once in a while. When I started going up to the city, at that time there were places that were absolutely notorious for nazi skinheads. I never interacted with them, I always steered clear of them, and never really fell in with the punk scene anyway. But that’s when I first became aware that there were people in modern America who called themselves nazis and directly advocated for white supremacy.

To be honest I did not think of myself as their “target” because (in my mind, at that time) Jewish culture in the SF Bay Area was practically invisible and unlikely to be on their radar. In fact I didn’t think too deeply about who their target was. I mostly thought they were crazy people who loved violence and called themselves “nazis” because it was the meanest thing they could think of, that they were in favor of “white power” because it was so obviously wrong. At this time, there was fair amount of tension in the state around the issue of immigration from Mexico. But it did not occur to me then that there could have been any relationship between the xenophobia I saw expressed by mainstream circles in conversations about Proposition 187 and the blatant, violent white supremacy expressed by the skinheads on the periphery of local punk scenes. (also please note that I am aware that not all skinheads are nazis and that there is an anti-racist element within skinhead culture as well)

In college, in Pittsburgh, I lived on a store with a convenience store on one end. One of the people who worked in this store was a skinhead who wore a jacket covered in various white power/“rock against communism” band logos. He had a group of similar buddies that often hung around nearby, a couple of whom had aryan nation tattoos. On several occasions when I woke up in the morning I would find leaflets distributed up and down the block decrying the Holocaust as a “Jewish scam to make money”. These flyers were attributed to Church of the Creator, one of the more active neo-nazi groups in Pennsylvania at that time. Every once in a while I would cautiously engage in arguments with some people on the fringes of that crew of guys who hung out in the area. Things were sometimes tense but never got physical. Soon after 9/11 most of them disappeared. I don’t know why or where to.

While traveling alone in Slovenia, I nearly ran into a parade of about 40 skinheads chanting and marching in the street while I was on the way back to where I was staying. I do not know what specific group they were affiliated with but wore patches with the common “celtic cross” symbol used by far right/white nationalist groups all over the world. At that time, fascist graffiti covered Ljubljana.

Those are just a few of the more blatant examples from that time. These experiences were not rare. The KKK and various neo-nazi groups held public parades and rallies all throughout this period, and sometimes showed up as counter protestors or forces of violence at protests for progressive causes. They marched through downtown Pittsburgh - with the local government’s blessing - and many other cities in that region.

There were protestors at those marches, and there were people who fought the nazis directly, but the general consensus in mainstream liberal circles at that time seemed to be that nazis had the right to march just like anyone else, that any violence against them would be bad. It certainly wasn’t at all common to hear college educated, NY Times-reading liberals talking about the glories of “punching nazis”. This is a problematic but very complicated phenomenon: they were to be tolerated up until the point at which they’ve come into power.

But let me explain why _I_ didn’t go around punching the nazis I saw, during those times when I encountered them personally. To some extent, part of me did follow that logic mentioned above, but that’s not the real reason. The real reason is pretty simple: most nazis are a lot better at fighting than I am, they do it more frequently, they usually travel in numbers, they are often armed, and in almost every circumstance when I’ve encountered them the odds would not have been remotely in my favor had things gotten physical.

Richard Spencer was alone and unarmed standing in front of a video camera busily talking about an internet meme while he was sucker punched. This occurred in broad daylight in a very crowded, open area with a ton of media and police present. While I applaud the anonymous puncher for seizing upon that opportunity, that’s not really a typical situation in which one encounters nazis.

Recently, Richard Spencer posted a video in reaction to this incident. In this video he mentions that the Alt Right will not succeed if they are unable to be who they are in public. I’ve seen a lot of people pointing to this video as a sign of victory over the Alt Right, a sign that they are scared. I think the latter half is true but not the former. What Spencer is saying is that they are going to ramp up security. And I would anticipate that these people will begin to receive even more protection from the current administration.

So, this is one conclusion I’d like to leave here - in most cases “punching nazis” means getting involved in serious physical violence in which your life will be at risk. And that risk is only going to increase in the future. Fantasizing about punching some idiot talking about a frog on tv is fun, but I think it ignores the realities that many have faced and many more are about to face. And while many of us have disabilities that hinder us in this department, I think it would behoove anyone who is serious about getting physical with fascists to study and learn how to do so before getting involved in a situation you are unprepared for. I would also think long and hard before making that demand of anyone else. But that’s not the most important point.

I’d like to circle back to talking about definitions. The examples I gave above are obvious. These were people who, in almost all cases, were openly wearing the actual logos of white supremacist organizations. So let me bring up a different example:

About one year after 9/11 I was in Budapest, taking an overnight train to Amsterdam. I had a spot in a sleeper compartment on a train. I got on and a couple other passengers came in. One of them was a young guy, a little older than me (I was in my early 20’s at this time). He spoke English very well and we got to talking. It turned out he was an Austrian who worked in finance. Middle management at a major bank. He bought us a couple of beers and we were getting along. Inevitably, the topic of 9/11 came up. Seemingly out of nowhere, he explains to me how “there were no Jews in the building that day”. He then goes on to explain how 9/11 and the entire War on Terror that was then unfolding was all a Jewish plot to direct money to Israel’s armed forces. And hinted that the Holocaust was a similar plot. I tried to argue with him for a bit (without letting on that I was Jewish) but it was nearly impossible to get through to him, and he soon became surly and then passed out. I tried to do the same. But what caught my attention was that this man was well spoken, dressed conservatively, he looked every bit the upper middle class finance professional. It was difficult to imagine him in a street fight. No one would have described this person as being on the fringes of his society.

Up until a year ago, if I told this story to a European, or to an American person of color, they were unsurprised. But if I told it to a white American their reaction would usually be “yeah, well, that’s Europe for you”.

But that’s never been the case.

One common narrative is that many of the groups of fascists have figured out that they aren’t going to get very far if they are seen just thugs who march around on the street wearing in leather jackets getting in scraps. many of them have figured this out some time ago, and have been infiltrating mainstream education and corporate life. And yes, that is happening.

But there is a big problem with that narrative: it ignores the fact that many of America’s institutions and businesses are, themselves, organizations that promote white supremacy. Many of our banks, many of our police departments, our prison system, much of our media. Does these mean they are all “nazis”? Not really. But what it does mean is that white supremacy is not some outside force that just suddenly popped out of Steve Bannon’s suitcase. It’s been here for a long time. It is deeply engrained in our society. Fascism is not some new danger that we suddenly need to prevent from being “normalized” - for much of America, fascism has been the norm for a very long time.

Here’s my point with all of this: sooner or later, Trump will be defeated. This regime is monstrous, but I have seen the power and anger and sheer volume of opposition to it, and I do not think that this regime will last. My worry is, once this most obvious of enemies is defeated, the liberal establishment will go right back to completely forgetting that white supremacy and fascism are a major problem in this country. The sad fact is, even when Democrats in power, even when the POTUS is the most progressive sounding person electable, the nazis are still here, white supremacy is still here, fascism is still here. And not always on “the other side”. We need to remember that, we need to keep pointing to them and ostracizing them and speaking out against white supremacy and fascism even when it looks like things are more comfortable, because that comfort is a trap.

but a B99 Great British Bake Off AU

obviously this involves it being an American edition/season but that’s fine

  • all of the squad are contestants, as well as like, Doug Judy and a couple of others (maybe Figgis just for laughs idk)
  • Holt and Wuntch are the judges, Kevin and the Vulture are the presenters
  • Wuntch, weirdly, is the nice judge for the most part, cos it’s mainly just Holt she hates, Holt is the tougher judge that everyone wants a handshake off
  • they never agree on anything, coming to decisions is a NIGHTMARE which is how Kevin and the Vulture are unofficial judges behind the scenes
  • the Vulture is his usual awful self, slaps Jake’s ass off camera a lot, genuinely makes him really uncomfortable until Gina and Rosa notice at one point and threaten him until he agrees to stop
  • Kevin is the presenter who goes around and reassures people when they are freaking out
  • also he and Holt met in a baking class back in the day which is part of the reason they love baking so much (they bake together all the time at home)
  • Jake is the baker who literally has no fucking clue how he actually made it in bc he has no idea what he’s doing but somehow he just has a Knack and it always turns out amazing (with the exception of a couple of True Disasters)
  • Amy comes from a long line of amazing bakers and is hella competitive, and super meticulous with her recipes and all instructions, means she Stresses during the technicals but she does know her shit and she just has to keep reminding herself that it’s like an exam where she has to learn in advance and remember
  • Rosa relies on family recipes, says she cares about them more than the actual family members who made them, also goes with her own gut feeling (usually involves putting alcohol in the food if she’s not sure what’s missing)
  • Gina learned how to bake via trial and error and general self-discovery during a year where she was forced to stay at home and take things easy after she got hit by a bus (also usually the one putting alcohol in her food)
  • Terry loves baking for his kids and his wife and they’re his biggest fans, all of his bakes are inspired by them/done with them in mind, he gets teary on the show a lot
  • Charles is still his Foodie self, so he gets Very Intense about it all and is the one that tries all the super weird flavours
  • Hitchcock and Scully applied together and everyone’s fairly sure they just got picked for the comic relief but then occasionally one of them will actually bake something really good??
  • Jake falls in love with Amy during a peanut brownie challenge while they flirt over peanuts, he makes heart eyes at her for the whole competition after that, occasionally gets so distracted by how beautiful/adorkable she’s being that he fucks his bakes up
  • Gina falls in love with Rosa after seeing her punching her bread dough, spends the whole rest of the competition trying to pick her up, it starts to take priority over the actual baking and Kevin has Noticed and is subtly trying to help her out
  • Jake and Gina have been besties since the auditions so they start trying to help each other get their girls
  • aaand let’s not forget Doug Judy
  • aka Jake’s ex-best friend from high school, they used to be the baking bros and use cupcakes to pick up girls
  • until one day they were going for the same girl, so they both made stuff to impress her, and she said she preferred Jake’s but then Doug took the credit for them, and took her to prom only to stand her up
  • Jake has never forgotten and never forgiven
  • hasn’t made cupcakes since, too painful, too traumatic
  • which really fucks him up when they get a cupcake challenge
  • seriously like imagine him trash talking Judy and then they announce “cupcakes!!” and he does his melodramatic NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • (you decide if he manages to nail it and beat Judy’s cupcakes yet again, or if he totally botches it bc nerves)
  • anyway at one point Jake gets the coveted Holt Handshake and he is so elated his entire life has just been made bc he has been watching the show for years and idolises him so much
  • Amy is the same and she is so horrifically jealous until Holt tries her food next and also gives her a handshake and then her and Jake just look at each other like “WHAAAT”
  • Jake comes over after and is so excited he just gives her this real big hug and it’s really Pure bc then he gets super embarrassed and awkward but she is like “oh no, he’s so cute, help I have been specifically Not Noticing That” 
  • I have no idea who wins but Peraltiago and Dianetti and Holtzner are all in love and happy at the end

basically what I’m saying is can someone with the adequate baking and GBBO knowledge please write this AU I need it desperately

More KatsuDeku Thoughts/Ramblings

The other day I was seeing a lot of people complaining about hate in both the ‘Katsudeku’ and ‘Bakudeku’ tags, but to be honest, I didn’t see it. I suppose I must have the right people blocked.

But, it did get me thinking about things that people love to bring up when discussing the “p r o b l e m a t i c” elements of this ship. Two big ones in particular come to mind.

One has already been discussed to death, and I hope to jeezus I never have to talk about it myself. Yes, Bakugo told Deku to jump off a building. It’s horrible and despicable and I would never defend such awful behavior. It was simple shorthand for Horikoshi to establish Bakugo as an unremorseful jerk. Congrats, dude. It worked.

The second thing, however, is something I could talk about at length.

So I will.

Let’s talk about THIS.

Warning: this is a goddamn long post. Pour yourself a drink.

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